Excelsior

Bee .26. ayyy i have a job :')

[mdlifegoals]

It doesn't feel so lonely to be watching Bluey at 1 am with a child that's refusing to sleep while you read your fanfics.

[mdlifegoals]

Sometimes, I want to have someone just so they can go for a walk. Just so I can talk about my stupid ideas or hug them. I miss human contact. I don't want to fake smiles and energy around people. I want someone to rely on when I'm feeling depleted. Maybe get groceries when I'm dead sick or too depressed to leave the house. Idk. I am too lonely lately. The emotional toll of it is sometimes hard to bear. I just sat here thinking about dying. Maybe I should write a will or something. Look for a system that in case I don't move for a day or two someone would know I'm no longer here.

[mdlifegoals]

Having chest pains wake you up at 2 am while living alone is not for the weak. Measured my pulse and tried to asses the situation, just to gaslight myself saying it's anxiety. I'm not a physically anxious person. At least till now, I have thought. Even thought of writing my will, but who will find me, anyway? I'd be rotting when they find me. Made myself tea and decided to sleep it off. It's still there when I woke up. Maybe it's just muscle pains? I didn't exercise lately? Gonna give it until tomorrow, if it's still there I'm heading to a hospital I don't work at, to avoid the embarrassment of having to ask colleagues to help with my anxiety or heart attack? Anyway. Turns out I'm not ready to die, haven't made life better for anyone yet. Just wanted to write it somewhere because the friends I have are celebrating away and o don't want to ruin their holidays. Unless I die...

But maybe not. Idk.

[mdlifegoals]

Once you face a close person's death and you can't be there for your closed ones or have anyone's shoulder to cry on or to talk to about it. Then you know it's really fucked up.

[mood-mixerrr]

[academia-lucifer]

@academia-lucifer

[eddiediaaz]

some of my favorite merlin/arthur and buck/eddie parallels just because

[mdlifegoals]

Me, at 6:30 am: when did your child fall?

The father: yesterday

Me: why didn't you bring him in sooner? he's got a fracture that needs an OR

The father: i was asleep

[mdlifegoals]

7 am, dead on my feet, girl with Asthma comes in, her dad says he's pressed for an important meeting so i help the nurse with her nebulisation and injection. Little did i know that the girl is the biggest Banshee I've ever witnessed. Because of an IM, girl caused my tachycardia to return and I had to lay down just because of those screams.

Next time, be late to your work, idgaf. Scream away from me.

[mdlifegoals]

Who else goes into a breakdown because they finally wanted to buy a handbag in 8 years and found it sold out? No one? Okay :)

[mdlifegoals]

Patient's caretaker: this child had been left by his parents, i have to take care of him, you don't understand, we don't know if his father is alive or not.. i am very tired...i just had a 300km drive and then he's hit with something and they kept asking for different doctor visits and ....

Me, on my third shift in a row: * dead inside, can't care* here is his prescription, he's fine, barely a scratch. goodbye.

[arctic-anna]

Days until submission: 23

Off to uni

[starrystvdy]

19.10.22
 revisiting some python, and increasingly orange walks around town 🍂

[studycupoftea]

I woke up early today, filmed some study with me and then reviewed the new words I learnt yesterday.

Have you been productive today?

[mdlifegoals]

ER, Kids need actual medical attention, it's 1 am, and this person comes in : my daughter sneezes. Give her meds and me a day off so i can go to *this* event.

Bitch i would kill u rn.

[mdlifegoals]

Whenever i find myself working at 4am, i wonder what I've done with my twenties

[frederick-the-great]

 I swear to God, when people here talk about academia they’re honestly thinking Harvard or Oxford in the 50s. Guys, I’m sorry to break it to you but academia is PhDs students who don’t even get a desk to work in their university and overworked lecturers who are forced to do tons of unpaid work to “get ahead”. i’m begging you all to educate yourselves.

i’m also imploring you to do some research on the importance of universities as cultural and political hubs that bring actual, concrete change to underdeveloped communities, by providing poor and marginalized kids with an education and by actually conducting vital research meant to improve people’s lives. Please remember that there are places in the world where people do not pay thousands of dollars for an university degree and that for many people Universities ARE institutions that considerably improve their lives and not just a place you go after high school because that’s what you’re supposed to do.