Howard The Coward

  Author. Dreamweaver. Visionary. Plus actor. You're about to enter the world of my imagination. You are entering my Darkplace.  

[meanstreetcoward]

a fart

Doodie

[meanstreetcoward]

Farewell, Old Man.

Warning:  Triggering for wuss pusses.  

Writing prompt:  Something short with Racoons and a cemetery. 

The old man was finally gone.

Suzie and I stood completely silent in front of his tombstone. I didn't know what to feel. I suspected neither did she. There were days we had dreamed of this moment. There were days we had feared it. We had plenty of time to prepare emotionally, but we had squandered it on day-to-day trivial matters. Suzie looked at me with a grimace. "He would have enjoyed seeing us here, squirming." She was right. The bastard would have gotten a great big kick out of us grieving. I could feel his presence, having the last laugh after all. I noticed a sizable raccoon lying on the branch of a tree a few yards beyond the immediate row of tombstones. It was just sitting there, looking in our general direction. It occurred to me that the old man would have been gleeful to see such a critter. Suzie turned to me and embraced me. A tear rolled down her cheek. "Let's do something he would have hated," she whispered in my ear. We both looked at the tombstone. Then at each other. We knew what we wanted to do, what we had to do. I had some leftover breadsticks from lunch in my car. I quickly grabbed them and returned. I started tearing the bread into chunks and tossing them toward the raccoon. It perked up and stood up, determining whether or not we were friend or foe. Its hunger got the best of it. It slowly climbed down the tree and started eating my bread. I tossed another piece a little bit closer. It inched forward and ate that piece too.

Eventually, it was only a few feet away. It stood up on its hind legs, begging like a bear in a zoo.

Suzie took a few steps back to a dilapidated tombstone with a large top piece that had fallen off and was lying in the dirt. It must have weighed 15 kilograms. She picked it up and put it in her purse, then trotted back to me. The raccoon looked intently at me, waiting for another nibble. I nodded at Suzie. She extended her arm back, purse in hand, and swung it as hard as she could at the creature. The impact made a sickening sound that I am sure was the sound of the tiny skull fracturing.

We placed the bloodied body in front of the tombstone. "This is what he would have wanted," she sarcastically said with a devilish grin. And then she kissed me. We both were crying. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was this one last send-off. We disrobed, bundled-up clothes and placed them a few feet away; she lay on top of the soil in front of his grave and placed the raccoon on top of her belly. I moved on top of her and inserted myself. At first, I thought the creature was dead, but delightfully, it started shaking violently as it was smashed between our bare bodies. Even better. I didn't even notice the passers-by and their gasps. We made our peace on that grave, the animal slowly losing its life between us, each thrust being one less moment of air. After a few minutes, it stopped moving. My excitement reached a crescendo, and I pulled out and came on to the disfigured raccoon's eyes. We shoved the animal into the flower vase in front of the old man's tombstone. We put our clothes back on. It was like coming out of a dream. I saw some onlookers with their phones out. I hoped they enjoyed the show. The old man would have been proud.

[meanstreetcoward]

[moonlit-sunflower-books]

the sexual tension between me and unread books on my bookshelf

[meanstreetcoward]

My video game backlog would like a word

[kc-the-writer]

Stormy Llewellyn is the reason

I refuse to get attached to Robin Buckley.

[meanstreetcoward]

Explain this to someone who doesn’t remember the Odd Thomas movie very well.   

[meanstreetcoward]

6th grade was wild, man

[meanstreetcoward]

Peanuts

[meanstreetcoward]

A not so good painting.

[meanstreetcoward]

Recent Painting

[meanstreetcoward]

Recent Painting

[meanstreetcoward]

MS Paint drawings I made while I was bored at work in 2007  (Part 2)

[meanstreetcoward]

MS Paint drawings I made while I was bored at work in 2007  (Part 1)

Circa 2006/2007

[meanstreetcoward]

I’ll give you candy

I have an outline for a story but I’m much too lazy to actually write it.   Who wants to do it for me?

[meanstreetcoward]

Please?

[kc-the-writer]

Few things are more unsettling than a horror novel being read by such a cozy voice... like, sir, you’re scaring me - but also please cuddle me?

[kc-the-writer]

Found something more unsettling, actually. Being read to sleep by Dwight…

[meanstreetcoward]

If you want truly scary try the Art of the Deal audiobook

[meanstreetcoward]

I’ll give you candy

I have an outline for a story but I’m much too lazy to actually write it.   Who wants to do it for me?

[meanstreetcoward]

Calling it now... Hogwarts Legacy released post nuclear war to literally no one.

[meanstreetcoward]

If there isn't an update on Hogwarts Legacy by tomorrow at Sony's press conference, I am afraid to report to you that it is never coming out

Luckily, superfans, there are 8 console games based on the mainline series, all of which are top notch quality. That's not even counting the quidditch only game on GameCube. What a masterpiece!

There are also literally thousands of games with character creation, and entirely other games that have brooms and broomsticks that you can use in various ways.

After all this time, ALWAYS