MediocreMagicItems

I am a DM, nerd, and creator of mostly "meh" and/or useless magic items. If you use any of them (or NPCs I have created) please consider supporting me on Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/rangersrespite

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The Elixir (A magical curative from the laboratory of Hiram Oletouke)

A pale green fluid with a hint of haze in a slim cylindrical bottle, topped with a cork and a dollop of wax. Total volume is roughly 3 ounces.

Once consumed the character must make a DC-14 con save to resist throwing up. No damage is taken. But if used in combat the player will be forced to spend their next turn throwing up if they fail the save.

The Elixir

1.5 oz. Douglas Fir Brandy

.5 oz. Cognac

.5 oz. Blue Curacao

.25 oz. Lemon juice

.25 oz. Simple Syrup

Shake with ice, strain into a shot glass, and throw it back.

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Behold; a work in progress for one of my groups. The Tortoise Head Tavern, a fine place for food, drink, and rest. Operated by Silas and Francine Sulcata, a pair of tortle innkeepers supported by a staff comprised of a retired Harengon knight named Reginald Terragon and his children.

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Hiram Olitouke's Board of Directors.

Magical Item, unique?, unattuned

It is easy to become lost in a dungeon, The Amazing* Hiram Oletuk sought to rectify this shortcoming of dungeons by creating a sign that would direct an adventurer to what they seek. Unfortunately he forgot to mount the board to a signpost before enchantment, thus rendering the one foot by eighteen by one and three quarter board a simply obnoxiously oversized and heavy direction finder.

To use one must form a clear image of that which they seek within their mind, write what they seek in chalk upon the board while they hold it and concentrate on that item as they walk. If they are distracted, take damage, or lose their grip upon the board it will stop pointing them to that which they seek.

Can be used (Cha. Mod.) times per rest for a duration of an hour at a time. Upon first use DM should roll a D100 and consult the chart below;

*"Amazing" is not a descriptor that anyone, save the halfling himself and maybe his mother, has ever used for Hiram Olitook.

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The bowl of Perpetual Porridge

Magic Item, unique, unattuned

A medium sized wooden bowl with runes etched upon its base, Olituke probably bought the bowl from a small town craftsperson or liberated it from an inn. For all the world it appears to be a normal bowl. Apart from the seemingly ever-present porridge contained within.

The bowl fills with 1d4 servings of a bland, nigh flavourless, porridge once per day. It fulfills most of your daily nutrient needs, but with none of that pesky flavoring. If its servings aren't expended by the next day it will not refill and the porridge will spoil.

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The Antipersonnel Obelisk

Magic Item, uncommon, unattuned (single use)

A charred wood obelisk, four inches on a side at the base and tapering to a point at sixteen inches tall, with a single groove an inch wide around it four inches from the base.

After activation of the Obelisk a creature that approaches within ten feet of the obelisk will trigger it causing it to release the Fireball Spell.

To utilize the Antipersonnel Obelisk follow these instructions in this order:

Remove paper strip from base of obelisk

Place upright on a level surface in an open area the exceeds the 20 foot radius effective range of the obelisk.

RETREAT THE A DISTANCE GREATER THAN TWENTY FEET FROM THE OBELISK

Read the activation word on the strip of paper in a loud, clear, voice.

Retreat further, do not pass within ten feet of the Obelisk.

Enjoy your war crimes.

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Magwand of lite

Magic Item, uncommon, unattuned

This brightly polished wand is pretty hefty, with a diameter of an inch and three quarters and a length of 10 inches (for the three charge variant, 14 for the four charge variant), and upon making a clicking sound with your tongue it will produce a cone of bright light for sixty feet and dim light for a further sixty feet for roughly an hour per charge.

Due to its heft it can also be used to deal 1d6 bludgeoning damage (which counts as magical damage). Town guards using them this way is why they aren't allowed to carry them anymore.

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Froemeyer's Top of Fascination

Magic Item, unique, unattuned

A simple wood top painted with colorful swirls, with a stained cotton pull cord. Upon uttering the trigger phrase "Let'er rip, bud." And yoinking the pull cord every being within a 20 foot radius must make a DC-13 charisma save or be enchanted for 1d8 minutes or until they take damage.

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Olletuk's Pendant of Flight

Magic Item, unique, unattuned

Increases the wearer's speed by 10 feet as long as they are moving away from danger and grants the use of the disengage bonus action twice per short rest.

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A small winged boot wrought of brass and hung from a chain. There is a small cut glass faux-diamond at the toe of the boot and clumsily carved runes on the back

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Olletuk's Pendant of Flight

Magic Item, unique, unattuned

Increases the wearer's speed by 10 feet as long as they are moving away from danger and grants the use of the disengage bonus action twice per short rest.

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Jug Of Mimosa

Magic item, unique, unattuned

At the beginning of each day this ornate crystal pitcher is filled with 1d8 glasses of Mimosas. The perfect way to start your day!

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Bane's Mark

Bane's Mark Magic Item - Unique - Attuned

Arming Sword - 1d8 +1

You may use this item to inflict a form of bane on an enemy you hit with a melee attack a number of times equal to your charisma modifier (minimum of 1) per short rest.

A target struck by a melee attack by this item must make a charisma saving throw, on a fail they must roll a d4 and subtract that number from every attack, check, and/or saving throw they make until the end of their next turn.

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Ring of smell storing

Magic item - uncommon (not attuned)

When worn it can be twisted clockwise around the finger to save a smell present in the air around the wearer, it can hold five smells at a time. When it is twisted counter clockwise it will emanate the stored smell that the wearer is thinking of for a five foot radius

A silver band with a a small flower made from five rock crystal petals around an emerald set in it. As smell slots are filled the petals turn purple.

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Shadowkeeper

Shadowkeeper Arming Sword - Magic item - unique (attuned)

1d8 (piercing) + 1d4 (Necrotic)

Magic effects: Shadowkeeper grants the wielder the friendship of shadows, you are invisible to darkvision, and yourself are granted sixty feet of darkvision (or 30 additional feet of darkvision).

Description: Shadowkeeper is a lightweight sword with a type 21 blade made from a pale steel that seems to suck warmth from the air around it, it has a dull grey type 6 guard, a cold black leather grip with a trio of risers in the middle, and a type V3 pommel to match the guard.

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Lyre

Lyre Arming Sword - Magic - uncommon

1d8 (piercing) + 1 (radiant)

Description: Lyre is a beautifully crafted sword with a pattern welded type 18 blade, with a sturdy type 8 guard, a fine blue leather wrapped handle, and a hefty T4 type pommel.

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Eye of the Beholder

Eye of the Beholder Longsword - Magic - unique (attuned)

1d8(10) Piercing

Magic effects: The wielder of this sword is granted the boon of a belholders anti-magic field, sort of. The piece of beholder's eye in the pommel of the sword grants the user advantage on any checks or saving throws from spells cast at them.

Description: The Eye of the Beholder is a longsword with a type 16a blade of highly polished steel, a brightly brassed type 10 guard, a supple light brown leather grip, and a brassed type W pommel with a piece of red beholder eye in the center.

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Ollietuke's Ever Caffeinated Cup

Magic item, rare, un-attuned

An unassuming pale ceramic mug, tall and narrow, with no handle, with the symbol of a mermaid wielding a war-axe over her head.

Each day Oletook's Ever Caffeinated Cup has 1d8 fills of coffee, if upended or knocked over a single fill is expended. If one consumes more than three cups worth in the space of an hour they must make a con save against throwing up. Consuming two cups can stave off a level of exhaustion for one hour, but requires another two cups worth or a long rest at the end of that hour or go directly to the second level of exhaustion.

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A proposed warlock spell from a friend

"Summon Trucc, by uttering the phrase 'you've been hit by, you've been struck by; trucc' and doing the Micheal Jackson lean you can summon a blue 1992 Ford F-150 with your warlock patron at the wheel in an unoccupied space measuring 10 feet by 20 feet, when summoned it moves straight forward at 60' per second and is on this plane for two seconds. Anything it strikes makes a dex save, on a fail it does 10d6 bludgeoning damage, on a success it does half damage. At DM discretion it may also temporarily iseki anything that fails the save."

Enjoy?