MedSchool Diary 🇮🇳 @medivergent-blog - Tumblr Blog

Kya chal raha hai aj kalllllll?

Idk, fogg? 😝

On the past week. It was... No, unproductive is when you cannot achieve what your goals were. I went on a hiatus, tbh. And also, a test of my limits. Remember the throne of Glass series? I read that. Completely. -------_---- On the series: One of my all time favourites (mostly cause it left no open loops. Also, cause I fell in love with the characters.) It was an emotional roller coaster. I laughed at Aelin's sassiness. I cried when Manon's twelve sacrificed themselves to save a City from being obliterated, a city of a complete stranger. I smiled at wise little Evangeline's wise wise speech. I felt their fear, their hope, their happiness, their sadness... and their love. Pure, unadulterated, unblemished. And oh, the joy when finally, Kingsflame bloomed in The Forest. Indicating peace. ------------- Approx 4500 pages. In 7 days, one book a day. Unsurprisingly, my longest one sitting was 4 hrs(cause that's the duration between breakfast and lunch) And I clocked north of 14 hrs per day (I did not want to speed read and destroy the story for me😅) Agreed I favour fiction and hence could stretch my limits (3 hrs of sleep for 3 days😂) But that also means i can, if I choose to, increase my Productive time(wrt studies) as well. So... Whyever not? 13 August, today. Here starts my last stand. It is not exactly a war, but it isn't anything less either, is it? A. Ps. To the people who texted me to check whether I was alive or dead (jk). I won't tag you guys because privacy (+ I am a selfish bastard, I don't share my friends 🌚) But. Thank you. Thank you loads. Love you all so so sooooo much. It was a small reminder that maybe I am alone right here and now, but out t/here, not at all. Thank you. For the chats, for the questions, for the company. And um... Thank you again. And again. And again. You guys are the bestest. LOL (lots of love) lol. This too shall pass. Await the dawn, Await the awakening Of the sun. Await, happiness is coming. Not eternal, But c'est la vie.🙂 https://www.instagram.com/p/CD0IdFOB_IA/?igshid=1ikb6kvvgk54q

August 3rd = 40 Gave a test. Scored piss poorly. My eyes are kinda stretchy stretchy rn. I think its cause of too much screen time. Dry eyes, may be. Who knows. Current mood: fucked up. [but I am alarmed to find that I have taken it for granted. And I hate that feeling. Negatives on negatives. God, wish it was like multiplication: - x - = + ; but no, its life.] Tasks: biotech - both parts Old flash cards/notes reviewed = main reason for excessive screen time [the other reason is texting a bit lot. Hey, I love talking, and I haven't actually talked with anyone near my age for…like, 10 months, I think. Last time you ask? In Diwali, when an old friend visited.] Also, Rakshabandhan went pretty much the same way as it does: which is the lonely way, lol. kay, see ya. A. Ps. A good friend sparked an idea in me, regarding the amt of time spent studying. 12 hrs is an extreme benchmark for lousies like me... but It was an interesting thot, to go back to the old ways. Lets see what I do tomo. #writer bug: a work of fiction. Don't worry. https://www.instagram.com/p/CDb425tBWtX/?igshid=1tfyk4fyye1r3

#writer

August 2 Happy Friendship Day! Maybe we don't know each other, at all. Maybe we know each other on this platform Maybe we knew we existed, but actually communicated on this platform for the first time ...and no one here knows me irl, so no point writing that. 🤣 But I digress... A sincere Yacht-load of thanks. THANK YOU! (To you too seniors, if you don't mind me categorising you as 'friends'. No offence meant tho!) for texting with me, for uplifting me when I was down (even when you didn't know), for the laughs you made me laugh, for bringing me down to earth when I was in 'idgaf' mode. for reading what I wrote, Or oh hell, for liking/following/interacting w my posts(which, philosophically speaking, are my brain-children, and hence kind a sorta me😜) For being there. Thanks a lot. (I am NOT crying. It's just an eyelid or something...) Hope we all meet as medicos in future. Or not just medicos, but whoever we dreamt we will be. A virtual toast to that day. To future. To you all. Love you with all the love this fist-sized heart of mine could muster. A. Ps. Bitching time. Double test day. They suck. Not gonna do it again. I swear. Tasks: had targeted revising last two Day's thingies. But the tests sucked the life out of me, gave me a headache + induced me to binge on sugar (FOUR SPOONS OF SUGAR!!! I, who avoids sugar like I avoid duur ke relatives.) That's why early post. Will sit to get shit done. Keep going y'all. #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetphysics # medicotobe #medicine #premed #premedical #premedstudent #happyfriendshipday #studygram https://www.instagram.com/p/CDY45Y-BsRI/?igshid=kri2epp9obw1

#neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetphysics #medicine #premed #premedical #premedstudent #happyfriendshipday #studygram

July 31 - These bars, They protect me. ...or do they? Keep me imprisoned In this place; is this a prison? . It feels like home, But where is home? Home, I hear, is where Your heart is. . Where's my heart? I don't know. I can only feel it beating, Inside me. Diligently working To keep me alive. . Home, Is Where you are accepted As you are. Flaws and everything. Home, Is where there is love for you. Not unconditional. But as low as it gets. It is in me. Home, is where I am. . I am a vagabond. Imprisoned in this place. I am a bird, with its wings clipped. Chains fettered to my claws. . But my nature is that of a sea, After which I was named. I am free. So many possibilities, But alas, not immortal. Neither infallible, nor invincible. . I will break free. Patience, child. We will break free. . No chain can bind us forever, Untill our minds are free. Free to think, Free to love. Free to create, Free to choose. -arnonymous Totally unrelated, but just cause I wanted to write.😅 Tasks: KTG Chemical Bonding Molecular basis of inheritance. I have made a list of chapters, deriving from previously asked patterns. Might share that later on. Hasta La Vista! A. https://www.instagram.com/p/CDVLUJeBXil/?igshid=pmacyxghr11r

July 29 - Day ... nevermind 🤣😑 A harrowing day. Of making small decisions, installing games, uninstalling them, opening novels, then deleting them...studying somewhere in between. Finding out what #challengeaccepted is all about. To say its horrifying will be understating it. Imagine a 17 yr old girl murdered just because SHE was sexually assaulted by a 34 yr old male. And the killer getting off the hook. No justice. Nothing. ... .. . Novel: Girl Gone Viral : Arvin Ahmadi Tasks: Respiration plants: cleared the notes on Onenote, sent it for a print. P18- rev from notes Thermod metallurgy both went for a stroll somewhere and didn't return. That's my excuse for not studying them. . WriterBug: radio silent....almost. . A. #neet2020 #neetcoaching #neetug #neetpreparation https://www.instagram.com/p/CDO7I5Opemu/?igshid=160ipiq852db7

#challengeaccepted #neet2020 #neetcoaching #neetug #neetpreparation

July 28 That's an OMR sheet. Used. lo key lol. What is that one thing you wish you could excel at / do fairly well? Mine? HipHop dance + tutting(cuz it's cool af). I love it. I do non sensical crap alone, listening to them beats and melodies, and oh how every body part thrums to their rhythm ....but I wish I cud do it better, at least good enough for public consumption 😅 Second, obvi, is drawing.😂 Tasks: Genetics Current- not much Daaru ...I mean, alcohol and fam- need to read again. Really need to plan my days. Currently 'winging' it freestyle. And failing, consequently. WriterBug: Ever felt like a slight jolt somewhere near your solar plexus? I wonder what causes that... 'visceral' reaction, when thinking/seeing someone/something you love. ... And I wonder too, how that could be suppressed. That jolt, that pleasure-pain. That longing. That love. Stop. #KeepMovin' A. https://www.instagram.com/p/CDMX5xtJfxr/?igshid=k8kzvzfr16ss

#keepmovin

July 25 - Day 49 Made it day before yesterday. Why could we, as humans, not be our best selves all the time? We are divergents. Multi potentialites. We are awesome, potentially. And that's where we stop being awesome. No kinetic. Sigh. . . Tasks: Angio reprodn-tm Kinematics G contd. No chemistry Gonna start a new sched from tomo. Also, remember, July 26th? Yeah *shivers* Be thankful. And get going. #NeverGiveUp A. https://www.instagram.com/p/CDEezDEhi8U/?igshid=1x9s8bc9intek

#nevergiveup

July 23 / Day 51 #onedaychallenge Just One Day. Because one is better than none. cause one is the stepping stone for two, three, and upwards, onwards. . Simple rules: ✅PLAN today. WHAT you'll study. WHEN. and your breaks. ✅ STUDY: as much as you can. Find POCKETS of time to study, waiting for breakfast, or for a lecture to buffer/load, the interval between chatting with someone, ANYTIME. UTILIZE those Pockets, even. ✅Curb distractions to LEAST possible time. Let's see what your LIMITS are. It's just one day, why can't we? ✅ LOG it down: somewhere. In your rough copy, journal, anywhere. Each and every hour, or every two hour. Remain ACCOUNTABLE to yourself. ✅ Spare 10 min for UPLOADING. Private accounts: take a pic of your log, or text me the details. DM me. Public accounts: story/post and TAG @themedivergent Will share your inputs in Story/posts. ✅SHARE : ofc. Reel in your friends. Challenge them to compete with you. Let it remain friendly tho, cause even as rivals, we are in this together. It's all about testing your limits. See what you are kinetically capable of. Because, all Potential and No kinetic, makes jack a real dumbass.(like me....Hey jack!) It's just ONE day. Can't you do THIS much? Yes, I am baiting you. Get hooked. And find out out what you are capable of. ... Let's sprint, yea? Godspeed! A #neet2020 #aiimsdelhi #neetpreparation #neet2021 #challenge #studyblog #studyblr #studygram #neetgroup #neetchallenge https://www.instagram.com/p/CC_W5-XBCmb/?igshid=in4t25dbmsxo

#onedaychallenge #neet2020 #aiimsdelhi #neetpreparation #neet2021 #challenge #studyblog #studyblr #studygram #neetgroup #neetchallenge

July 21 - Day#16 of #21toImprove ... Ykw? Let's not dissect today. Too tired. My eyes/brain are/is almost shutting down if their/its own accord. . No study talk. Except studies task: Searched book on Guitars. Got Dummies. Looks promising...only if I HAD a guitar. Practiced on Harmonium + Vocals, Raag Yaman. Both rusty. A heck lot. Read randomly from The Mortal Instruments. Started writing a post on music. Didn't write after two lines Started making a photoshop art. Closed it after opening it. ... Ok, I did s block, some 12 th bio rando flash card stuff. No physics again. .. Weird day. Weird empty day. Weird empty restro/intro-spective day. Tho happy with my running pace. . But #NeverGiveUp . A. #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetmotivation Ps. She is The moon of my night sky. And I ? I am a star Among the million others Surrounding her. Admirers. (C) arnonymous https://www.instagram.com/p/CC6MwdABTZ4/?igshid=t5cfnpp76du0

#16 #21toimprove #nevergiveup #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetmotivation

July 19 - Day#14 of #21toImprove // Know thy enemy. Know thy self. A hundred wars, a hundred Victories! // (I think I quoted it wrong from Sun Tzu. But you get the idea) . Who are you? What are your strengths/weaknesses? Are they really what you THINK they are? Tough questions. Even tougher is finding the 'right' answer. . You, I, we aren't static/constant beings. We are literally variables come alive. and that makes it a continuous process. Self-discovery. Followed by self-improvement. . Add to that, WHO is thinking/judging about you/rself? Your brain. Basically your brain is judging itself, influenced by 'you'. . And hence the quotation in pic. [all i am saying is. Look at the 'truth' you know with a critical eye. Is it really true? Or is it 'influenced'?] . Its tough af. Tougher than Chemistry. [yes, I ducking said it, and I ain't takin it back.] . Tasks: -Biotech: revised NCERT. Tots. Made some flash cards. Not all -Electrochem: didn't touch it. -Wave optics: Theory from halliday. Cause I suck at theory. Mejorly. . . Productive hours: 5.5 hrs instagrammed excessively. Mostly watching @aupmanyu. Had some really good laughs. Ab-squeezy ones. Felt good. Felt like that after a long time. Thank you, for that :) . Running: 5.02k. After completing it, I was self-talking [empty roads = chance to become as weird as I can]… when I noticed someone jogging right behind me…CREEPs! I was like, ye kaha se aa gye? And? i started running backwards lol. Ik. The first part is mostly fabricated. But I did run backwards today, followed by lateral shuffles [cause it helps in badminton] then a mad mad hundred metre dash. . #NeverGiveUp [...falling in love/eating chilli. And Ik I am a hypocrite. I hate doing both] [the first, frankly, is not under my control. Fuck you, feelings.] (Not really. You are human cause you can feel those feelings. Never stop them. They are there to help) A. #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetmotivation https://www.instagram.com/p/CC1DiCNpIBy/?igshid=9gpig5l8m8ly

#14 #21toimprove #nevergiveup #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetmotivation

July 18 - Day#13 of #21toImprove [arnonymous is my pseudonym when i write] System reboot doesn’t necessarily mean system reformed. But I am doing it anyway. First [actual] day of trying to keep up with J's sched. Tell you what, I am having second thoughts about it. But a man (or woman) has gotta do, what a man has gotta do. Might as well do it now. . Tasks: -Mendelian Genetics et al xcpt Linkage [nightmare of my 'Trending' section] -Molecular Basis: Fingerprinting, human genome stuff xcluded -Solutions: formulae everywhere. . Productive hours: 4 hrs basically i spent 2 hours doing not-study stuff. Literally. I opened quora like 4 times, opened Instagram thrice. Read The Mortal Instruments [1st book] for like, the 4th time. Chatted with mom on literally anything, from neighbours to relatives at my native place to…basically anydamnthing. Then binged on toasts. Then… finally awoke from my logical-hibernation and went back to studying. Repeat that twice. . Running: 5k. There's this small kiddo who walks with her mom when I run [ I run on-road. Kinda hate tracks.] so, today when I was overtaking them, the kid started running as fast as her lil feet could do. I had to smile. I had to slow down. But obvi, she got tired. Yet, it felt good. Maybe someday she will take up running, inspired by this. Inspiring people to change for good is the second best thing I like doing. First is making them laugh. ["Clean up your study table/bed first. Then inspire people" my Mom says from behind me. Mom, you sneako!] jk. . #NeverGiveUp not kidding. A. #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetmotivation #neetgroup #studygram #studyblr #studyblog #premed https://www.instagram.com/p/CC0LGTjhzKp/?igshid=9dymizkdqeu

#13 #21toimprove #nevergiveup #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetmotivation #neetgroup #studygram #studyblr #studyblog #premed

No journaling today. ................ I am dust. Everywhere, and nowhere to be seen. Accepted somewhere, Dirt, in all else. . I am a breeze Flowing here and there Softly, not to bother; Bringing a plethora of things, Good and bad. Big and small. Always moving, never staying. . I am water Fluid, eternally adapting, Shaped by my vessel Twisting, turning, flowing; avoiding stagnancy, For stagnant, I go foul. . I am light, Letting people see the world, Yet not me, never me. I exist, yet I do not A paradox, Eternally invisible, intangible To the mortal eyes. . I am shadow, Light's eternal lover I exist as light exists, And it is light because I am. intangible, un-feeling, Hated, for I hide things From the mortal eye. . I am night, Full of far-away stars, Full of dreams that people dream Full of long sighs, unheard, unsatiated. … I am Human. My past, my mistakes, my flaws. My karma, Good and bad. Diabolical at times, At times seraphic. Carrying love and hurt, And dreams, oh so many dreams. Of me, of my people. I hear, and I speak. I hear people's truths, and lies. Yet I speak not either. I speak, what needs to be spoken. I speak, what needs be heard. I speak a lot, Yet never what is in my Heart, Neither the truths, nor the lies. . I shall hear forever. That’s the least good thing I can do, Something good, Despite the darkness, That bubbles beneath, This veneer that I have worn, Since I could speak. /who am I ?/ \no one, not yet\ -arnonymous . . . . . (C) arnabdeykhan https://www.instagram.com/p/CCqt9hnh51N/?igshid=1vy98e49g65bf

July 14 - Day#9 of #21toImprove Depressing stuff ahead. . Tasks: -mini + mejor test. -read EMI -… . Productive hours: ??? . Running: 4.6 kilometers. . MoiSpeak: Nothing. . Well, I think I messed up my priorities again. I am sorry, so sorry. . You know, when you go to a candy shop and want every fuggin candy over there? Cause you like em all? . My hobbies/feelings are my candies. And they are giving me a darned hard time. + hustling for NEET has become just so much tough, mentally. Its not, actually. I am an ass. Its as simple as that. . Not learning from your previous mistakes is about the worst insult you can haul at life. And insulting Life? Tsk tsk. Try not to. Payback is a bitch. . And memories, stories of past; ghosts of people once met, of a person I fell for, of the mistakes I did, of the results that happened. Of …everything that happened consequently. They haunt me, in broad daylight. . Time heals, they said. It didn't. I moved on, by suppressing it. Today, it all came out. No, I didn't cry. But wish I had. Wish I could. Lucky are they who can vent their emotions as tears. I built a wall to appear strong, and it has ended up making me feel dead. Nothing. A void. A deep sadness that I try not to unravel, like avoiding a nest of snakes. The moment I touch them, they kiss. And that kiss is never sweet. . Love, I think, had an extrememly huge role in this short life that I have lived. It broke me out of my shell, helped me change for better, change for worse; Then it broke me, like nothing ever did.And then it healed me too. . But what is once broken, never heals completely, does it? No matter what you fill the cracks with; even gold doesn't make a broken crockery become un-broken. But it has its beauty. A different kind, but beauty all the same. Wish I had healed myself, like they do in /kinsukuroi/. Filled my void with gold, instead of escaping them. Faced my demons, instead of turning away. Faced life, lived it; instead of living in someone else's, of people in my head, of Fiction. . #NeverGiveUp, I say. And yet, I am broken. And every minute seems a struggle. I am a nyctophile, yet, it is only Light that gives life. . Peace and Happiness to you. A. https://www.instagram.com/p/CCoTfYtBWCq/?igshid=1btwon11kj1ng

#9 #21toimprove #nevergiveup

July 13 - Day#8 of #21toImprove Lousy start to a week. But everyone has to start somewhere 🤷‍♂️ . Tasks: -Test -EMI - HC text, meagre PYQs -GeoMagnetism- LN - only materials -Cell structure: Plastids Tm -Neural system - Tm . Productive hours: 4 hrs. Stuck at that fuggin halfway point. Nope. Gotta do it. . #chargeyoursoul✨ Running: 4.56 kilometers. . MoiSpeak: Talk. Talk to someone you look up to. Talk to someone you trust. Communication. Healthy communication, tbp ,has the power to solve the biggest of problems. …and Breathe. When you get lost, when you feel a void in you, focus on surviving. Focus on what you can control immediately. Your Breathe. Control it. Deepen it. Feel it. And be Honest to yourself, if not to anyone else. Start again. Sometimes it is late. But not doing anything is far worse than doing something in the time that you have. Effort never goes to waste. It either helps you succeed. Or it teaches you. If you are ready to learn. . #NeverGiveUp Adios, Arnaud #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetmotivation #medico #medicalschool #college #medicine #mbbs #mentalhealth #neetdiaries #arnonymous #neet2021 https://www.instagram.com/p/CCmwtjOh_Ai/?igshid=15ermyxj9d5zk

#8 #21toimprove #chargeyoursoul✨#nevergiveup #neet2020 #aiims #aiimsdelhi #neetmotivation #medico #medicalschool #college #medicine #mbbs #mentalhealth #neetdiaries #arnonymous #neet2021

July11 - Day#6 of #21toimprove (Yesterday's post was a total fiasco) . Tasks: Morphology- trueman points annotated on ncert. p14 ncert- Inc Magnetic fx: a "co-compete" something with @procrastinate.aesthetically_ ...gonna complete before sleep . Productive Time: 6 hrs max. Maybe 1.5 more now. Or not. No idea . Rants: Sorry, kinda busy today. But don't lose hope. The world may turn against you, but if you have hope, there's still the possibility of you winning. . Instagram: in pic . #chargeyoursoul✨ Ran: 4.51k. This pic is an oldie. An A4 page full doodle. Miss doing those. Low on patience. Sigh. . /Lumos/ A. https://www.instagram.com/p/CCgZv2FhcK_/?igshid=1sdyf276cwp20

#6 #21toimprove #chargeyoursoul✨

July 9- Day#4 of #21toimprove . Hey, how was your day? . Tasks: Circulation notes(tru) P13- ncert/notes/FC ...tried tackling transfer characteristics explanations..*crying* . Productive Time: barely 5 hrs One word. Doublie. . Rants: Been on a weird mood. Very prickly. Yes, like the cactus. And very nappy. Signs I am anxious/panicking quietly, cause i am taking refuge in sleep again. Nope, not gonna happen. Won't let it happen. . Instagram: yay! 1.5hrs. Ok, not yaaaay. But yea, yay. . #chargeyoursoul✨ Ran: 5.2k. with music. I miss music all the time. Even when one of them is playing in my head 24x7(currently Khamoshiyan, an oldie from my love-sick years) . /Fascilis descensus Averno/ A. #neet2020 #medicotobe #dreams #timetowakeup #studygram https://www.instagram.com/p/CCbN8nFB9GF/?igshid=6dwumvtwnn1r

#4 #21toimprove #chargeyoursoul✨#neet2020 #medicotobe #dreams #timetowakeup #studygram

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