Scott and Tessa, we need to talk. I really feel like you need to hear the truth from someone and I guess itās gotta be me.
You had one job to do today. All you needed to do was convince Ellen and her viewers and your fans that you are NOT a couple.
The simple fact is you were outplayed by Ellen. It was a bloodbath guys. Maybe a few weeks in Japan are a good idea right now. Because no one fucking believes that you are NOT a couple anymore!!
You know, I expected this from Scott. If anyone was gonna blow it, we all thought it would be him. And to be fair, he acted predictably. Scott, thereās a reason youāre not allowed to do interviews by yourself. Pull yourself together man.
Tessa. I donāt know what to say. You really fucked up today. I thought you had a handle on this. You had the script memorized in both English and French just in case. What happened? You choked!
I half expected hearts to start spewing like vomit out of your mouth at one point. I have just one piece of advice for you T. DO NOT under any circumstances make direct eye contact with Scott ever again. The less eye contact you make the better your portrayal of platonic business partners.
Lastly, no more games. Tessa, you especially need to remember never to speak of Scottās underwear again.
I donāt know how Iām going to be able to continue trying to convince people that youāre some authority on acting. Because, truthfully, you both are REALLY, REALLY BAD ACTORS.
So great job you two. Go home and please, just avoid all eye contact until you leave for Japan.
Maybe I could change this to a Scott and Tessa wedding blog! š