MEGAMIND

Incredibly Handsome Regular Genius and Master of All Heroism (formerly known as Megamind, Incredibly Handsome Criminal Genius and Master of all Villainy)

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Ollo, Megamind. I know that you have made plenty of inventions in the past - which you would use to "almost win" against Metro Man - and I'm curious: What is the strangest invention you've made?

Ollo, fan! To answer your question, Ive never made a strange invention -- they're all perfectly normal!

Especially MEGA TOMATO KALEIDO-FACE OF DOOM!!

Oooh, I do miss that mightily monstrous machine of mine. He was a crowd favorite! I mean, everybody was running around, screaming in terror, but if MEGA TOMATO KALEIDO-FACE OF DOOM had been spewing candy rather than radiation, I have no doubt that the CITIZENS of METROCITY woulda loved him and all 6 of his tentacles!

[metro-citys-finest]

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I'M A CHANGED MAN

[metro-citys-finest]

You’ve yet to serve your sentence!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh, I'll serve my sentence to you hot off the plate! You ready for it? You ready for my sentence! Well, here it is! "I have no sentence left to serve!"

[metro-citys-finest]

Here’s a good one: “Eighty seven life sentences”.

I don’t think it’s been that long, now, has it?

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

That sentence was removed! It's one of the perks of being the good guy!

[metro-citys-finest]

Good guys aren’t above the justice system. Weak guys are!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Weak??? I think NOT! I may not have the same level of strength as you, MeTrO MaN, but I CAN lift up to 100 pound weights! 🔩🔩

[metro-citys-finest]

Weak in the figurative, moral sense, not the physical. For such a big head, things like this often fly right over it!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

My figure is not weak, darn you! And neither are my morals!

☆ MEGAMIND ☆

[metro-citys-finest]

First of all, your figure is not what the word “figurative” denotes. Secondly, if your morals are as strong as you claim them to be, then you must recognize that for the law to be fair, no one can be above it. One good deed doesn’t undo thousands of other bad ones. Do your time!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I'm way too busy saving Metrocity to go to prison!

[metro-citys-finest]

So you’re above the law? Some defender! Your very position is antithetical, you hypocrite!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh yeah?? Well i dont see you doing anything about it! If you're really such a good guy, why haven't you thwarted me, yet?? Huh?? Like I said... CHICKEN! BOCK BOCK BOCK! hahahaha!!

[metro-citys-finest]

I’m giving you a chance to prove yourself. If you can’t do that, then I’ll take matters into my own hands.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

COMPLETELY UNECESESESARY! I've got this under control! Have you looked around, lately?? The streets are clean! Crimes rates have gone down significantly! AND!!! Everyone has FREE CABLE!!!

[metro-citys-finest]

So you consider yourself above the system you claim to protect?

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Ya know, I turned MYSELF in while you were LOUNGING AROUND in your solitary fortress! Oh, didn't know that, did you???

And guess what?? I was RELEASED! By a friend, yes, but that's not the point. The warden was cool with it! So was everyone else, and you know why? Cuz if I'd stayed imprisoned, there wouldn't even BE a system to protect! It'd all have been destroyed!

[metro-citys-finest]

But now the system is safe! I’m here. So abide by it! The warden isn’t the judge and jury, he has no say in your sentence.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I am abiding, these days!

[metro-citys-finest]

Then go. Serve. Your. Sentence! Otherwise you’re not abiding!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

No way! The city needs me! Roxanne needs me!

[metro-citys-finest]

Then you aren’t law-abiding. You’re a criminal! Through and through! Roxanne and the city are in good hands with me around, so get in your cell!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Make me!

[metro-citys-finest]

And there it is. You haven’t changed a bit. You still need me to bring you to justice, you don’t have a smidge of accountability. For shame!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

You clearly haven't read the papers!

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

"No way! The city needs me! Roxanne needs me!"

You're absolutely right, Megamind. I do need you. In more ways than one.

😘 💋

And for the record, Matt, Megamind received a full pardon for all of his past crimes. He is legally a free man. I'm very happy about that.

What would I do without my Incredibly Handsome Heroic Genius and Master of All Romance?

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Aww, well i need you too ~ 💙💙💙

😘🥰😍

Yeah MATT!

MATT?!

HIS NAME IS MATT?!!?!?

You'd be without romance, my dear ~ now THATS a crime ~ 😏

Xoxoxoxo 💙💙💙

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

I love you too, Darling! 💕 And I'm glad that Romanceless Roxanne is one tragic crime we never have to worry about, thanks to the world's most handsome and most brilliant Defender! 💙

Yes, I've been informed that Matt Roman is his real name and Wayne Scott is only his "Earth Name?" And he prefers Matt?

Not that I blame him. Thanks to my Nosy Reporter Skills I've discovered that his earth mother christened him Wayne Eliott Scott after two of her favorite old-time Hollywood cowboys, and that's... That's plain sad. Almost cruel, really. I'd probably go with Matt, too.

Speaking of Lady Scott, if Music Man is ever mean to you again, feel free to remind him that I can still get ahold of those embarrassing baby pictures any time. Because it seems Metroman DOES have a weakness after all and it's his mother.

She's kinda a scary lady sometimes.

Now for the MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION! Are you almost done with patrols for the night? Because I'm still awake writing up that segment about the Metro City Bank Embezzlement Scheme and I could use A REALLY BIG HUG from the one and only Incredibly Handsome Inventive Genius and Master of All Heroism! 😘

(And coffee. I also need coffee. Please be my hero and save me with coffee. But the hug's the most important and that's saying a lot.)

XOXO 💗

-Roxanne

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Ooh, you're making me blush! Cmon, Roxie! Please continue ~ 💙💙💙 Matt Roman! WOW! How FASCINATING it is, that such an interesting super being has such a BORING name! Really?! His true weakness is his MOTHER?!you know, I'd considered that, once! I just... forgot that Id considered it. You know how it is -- Being a genius, I have so many spectacular thoughts roaming through my mind ... some of them are washed away!! 😅

Either way, I must say, you truly are the world's greatest reporter, Miss Ritchi ~ 😏😘

Yes! Minion and I have just finished patrolling the streets, my lovely lady!! We are driving home this very instant! Prepare yourself for the greatest hug of all time!! It's gonna be a doozy ~ 💙❤ Oh, OF COURSE!!! I'll have Minion stop at a donut shop on the way home! 🍩☕You shall have your coffee, and your hug, my dear, before you can say "megahugoffee!!"

Loooveee yooouuuuu ~ 💙⭐⚡❤

⚡MEGAMIND⚡

[metro-citys-finest]

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I'M A CHANGED MAN

[metro-citys-finest]

You’ve yet to serve your sentence!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh, I'll serve my sentence to you hot off the plate! You ready for it? You ready for my sentence! Well, here it is! "I have no sentence left to serve!"

[metro-citys-finest]

Here’s a good one: “Eighty seven life sentences”.

I don’t think it’s been that long, now, has it?

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

That sentence was removed! It's one of the perks of being the good guy!

[metro-citys-finest]

Good guys aren’t above the justice system. Weak guys are!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Weak??? I think NOT! I may not have the same level of strength as you, MeTrO MaN, but I CAN lift up to 100 pound weights! 🔩🔩

[metro-citys-finest]

Weak in the figurative, moral sense, not the physical. For such a big head, things like this often fly right over it!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

My figure is not weak, darn you! And neither are my morals!

☆ MEGAMIND ☆

[metro-citys-finest]

First of all, your figure is not what the word “figurative” denotes. Secondly, if your morals are as strong as you claim them to be, then you must recognize that for the law to be fair, no one can be above it. One good deed doesn’t undo thousands of other bad ones. Do your time!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I'm way too busy saving Metrocity to go to prison!

[metro-citys-finest]

So you’re above the law? Some defender! Your very position is antithetical, you hypocrite!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh yeah?? Well i dont see you doing anything about it! If you're really such a good guy, why haven't you thwarted me, yet?? Huh?? Like I said... CHICKEN! BOCK BOCK BOCK! hahahaha!!

[metro-citys-finest]

I’m giving you a chance to prove yourself. If you can’t do that, then I’ll take matters into my own hands.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

COMPLETELY UNECESESESARY! I've got this under control! Have you looked around, lately?? The streets are clean! Crimes rates have gone down significantly! AND!!! Everyone has FREE CABLE!!!

[metro-citys-finest]

So you consider yourself above the system you claim to protect?

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Ya know, I turned MYSELF in while you were LOUNGING AROUND in your solitary fortress! Oh, didn't know that, did you???

And guess what?? I was RELEASED! By a friend, yes, but that's not the point. The warden was cool with it! So was everyone else, and you know why? Cuz if I'd stayed imprisoned, there wouldn't even BE a system to protect! It'd all have been destroyed!

[metro-citys-finest]

But now the system is safe! I’m here. So abide by it! The warden isn’t the judge and jury, he has no say in your sentence.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I am abiding, these days!

[metro-citys-finest]

Then go. Serve. Your. Sentence! Otherwise you’re not abiding!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

No way! The city needs me! Roxanne needs me!

[metro-citys-finest]

Then you aren’t law-abiding. You’re a criminal! Through and through! Roxanne and the city are in good hands with me around, so get in your cell!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Make me!

[metro-citys-finest]

And there it is. You haven’t changed a bit. You still need me to bring you to justice, you don’t have a smidge of accountability. For shame!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

You clearly haven't read the papers!

[ask-roxanne-ritchi-megamind]

"No way! The city needs me! Roxanne needs me!"

You're absolutely right, Megamind. I do need you. In more ways than one.

😘 💋

And for the record, Matt, Megamind received a full pardon for all of his past crimes. He is legally a free man. I'm very happy about that.

What would I do without my Incredibly Handsome Heroic Genius and Master of All Romance?

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Aww, well i need you too ~ 💙💙💙

😘🥰😍

Yeah MATT!

MATT?!

HIS NAME IS MATT?!!?!?

You'd be without romance, my dear ~ now THATS a crime ~ 😏

Xoxoxoxo 💙💙💙

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Hello, Megamind, I'm quite a fan--in case the user name didn't make it obvious enough--and I love your Gothic/Metal style. I'm curious, however, do you have the musical skills to match your hard rocker look? If so, what instrument(s) do you play? (And have you ever considered giving Music Man some pointers, because, seriously, enthusiasm is great and all, but dear Gods he needs help.)

Ollo! 😃 Why, yes, I do have musical skill, my dear fan, and it is EXCEPTIONAL!!!1 I play an instrument of my own creation..... half guitar, half piano! I call it...

⭐The GUANO!⭐

You know, I told Music Man that we'd make a fantastic musical duo but he, unfortunately, prefers flying solo. Foolish, I know. Together we'd be unstoppable!!

[true-blue-megamind]

Oh, well... His loss, really. But... Guano? Really? I um... I have to admit that that some might argue the name is slightly... crappy? In fact, some might call it... fowl. Love you anyway! LOL!

Also, I have to know: is that anything like a keytar?

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

WHAT???? Crappy?? FOWL??? Why ever would anyone think such a thing?????? 🤨 ☹

Keytar? 🤔 Hmm, nope. Never heard of it. 🔍TO GOOGLEY!!🔎

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! 😤 THAT'S EXACTLY MY CREATION!! THAT IS MY GUANO! SUCH THIEVERY IDKANZKWM

This goes out to the CRIMINAL who decided to STEEL my invention and CLAIM it as their own ----

❗❗YOU ARE INCREDIBLY RUDE❗❗

Ps -- you love me?

⭐ MEGAMIND, TRUE CREATOR OF GUANO AKA THE SO-CALLED "KEYTAR"⭐

[true-blue-megamind]

Awww... don't worry, Megamind. I'm sure your instrument is vastly superior in multiple ways.

I'm afraid there's not much that can be done about it, anyway. I mean, raining down laser-powered wrath upon the inventor of the keytar is right out; firstly because it wouldn't set a very good example as Defender of Metro City and secondly because I'm fairly sure he's already passed on.

Which means there would have to be a seance involved, and that seems like one of those Bad Ideas Minion has warned you about before. (Do you want hauntings? Because that's how you get hauntings.)

As far as the terms "crappy" and "fowl" were concerned, that was a joke. Or more accurately, to quote Terry Pratchett, "that was a pune, or a play on words."

That's because guano is... Well, what you have to understand is that guano is clearly a homonym, a word with multiple different meanings. And while one of those definitions is am awesome musical device invited by a marvelous blue alien super genius, the other is...

Um...

Well, guano basically means...

Do you know what? I think I'm going to simply let you Consult the Google about that one, too.

Finally, of course I love you! Nearly everyone--certainly everyone with excellent taste and discernment--loves the Incredibly Handsome Inventive Genius and Master of All Heroism! (Seriously, have you seen all the fan art?) I mean, you're exactly the sort of person most of us would want to hang out with. Your brilliant, funny, sincere... you've got great taste in music and you've been know to slip geek culture bits, such as a Star Wars reference, into your banter... Look, you're just fantastic, okay? Metro City got one hell Hades of an upgrade! Even your Goth look is better, far more stylish than Flying Elvis. LOL!

More than that, you gave so many of us who feel like outsiders, for a multitude of reasons, a hero we can identify with, who makes us feel like it's okay to be different. So never doubt that you are very much loved.

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Awww... don't worry, Megamind. I'm sure your instrument is vastly superior in multiple ways.

Right you are, my Fantastic Fan! Each and every one of my ⭐ GLORIOUS INVENTIONS ⭐ (the MegaFun Megalodon, the De-Plasticator Gator, Hungry Hungry Vacuums, Snack-in-the-Box, the Wheel of Cleanliness -- to name a few) are VASTLY SUPERIOR!!! Thanks for noticing ~ 😏

I'm afraid there's not much that can be done about it, anyway. I mean, raining down laser-powered wrath upon the inventor of the keytar is right out; firstly because it wouldn't set a very good example as Defender of Metro City and secondly because I'm fairly sure he's already passed on.

Oh, of course! Laser-powered wrath -- that's so 2010! Nooo, those days are faaar behind me. I truly am a changed man, a GOOD GUY™, and I have been for some time!

Which means there would have to be a seance involved, and that seems like one of those Bad Ideas Minion has warned you about before. (Do you want hauntings? Because that's how you get hauntings.)

Bad ideas?? Minion?? Warned?? Me??? About?? Whaaa???? Oohh, that Pitiful Pygo wouldn't recognize a bad idea if it were two feet in front him! (I'm not interested in hauntings at this current moment in time, no. But I will say this conversation has given me some EXCELLENT ideas! 😀👍)

As far as the terms "crappy" and "fowl" were concerned, that was a joke. Or more accurately, to quote Terry Pratchett, "that was a pune, or a play on words."

That's because guano is... Well, what you have to understand is that guano is clearly a homonym, a word with multiple different meanings. And while one of those definitions is am awesome musical device invited by a marvelous blue alien super genius, the other is...

Um...

Well, guano basically means...

Do you know what? I think I'm going to simply let you Consult the Google about that one, too.

So GUANO is not only my magnificent creation? It's alsoooo........

A BOOK ABOUT FLIGHTLESS BIRDS⁉️ 🤔

Finally, of course I love you! Nearly everyone--certainly everyone with excellent taste and discernment--loves the Incredibly Handsome Inventive Genius and Master of All Heroism! (Seriously, have you seen all the fan art?) I mean, you're exactly the sort of person most of us would want to hang out with. Your brilliant, funny, sincere... you've got great taste in music and you've been know to slip geek culture bits, such as a Star Wars reference, into your banter... Look, you're just fantastic, okay? Metro City got one hell Hades of an upgrade! Even your Goth look is better, far more stylish than Flying Elvis. LOL!

Oh, well... your ❤ is GREATLY appreciated... and also returned. 💙 (I have seen some of the fan's art! And I must say, it is incredible! ⭐My fans are the most talented of all!!!⭐ Just sayin')

I mean, you're exactly the sort of person most of us would want to hang out with. Your brilliant, funny, sincere... you've got great taste in music and you've been know to slip geek culture bits, such as a Star Wars reference, into your banter... Look, you're just fantastic, okay? Metro City got one hell Hades of an upgrade! Even your Goth look is better, far more stylish than Flying Elvis. LOL!

This is all 💯% true! (Side note: Star Wars, am I right?)

More than that, you gave so many of us who feel like outsiders, for a multitude of reasons, a hero we can identify with, who makes us feel like it's okay to be different. So never doubt that you are very much loved.

🤟🥺

You know, after all of these years, I've realized something -- That being true to yourself is one of the most important things you can accomplish! ⭐⭐⭐

(Unless you're, ya know, a murderer. Or a mugger. Or Hal Shtewart. Please don't be like Hal Shtewart, I beg of you -- we're still recovering)

Much love!!! 💙 👈😁👉 💙

⚡MEGAMIND⚡

[true-blue-megamind]

BE A HERO, NOT A HAL!

I rather feel like someone needs to put that on a t-shirt now.

Yes! Star Wars is pretty awesome! I break all the rules of Geekdom by liking Star Trek too. LOL. Although I have to say my biggest fandoms probably belong to the Fantasy genre, especially J.R.R. Tolkien's works. FRODO LIVES!

At any rate, I have a great appreciation for Geek Culture in general.

I also have to say that I'm a little concerned about exactly what "excellent ideas" you've come up with. Because any concept that springs out of a discussion about malevolent hauntings is probably a little questionable. Unless you're thinking about inventing some truly awesome props for next Halloween and gifting them to a charity haunted house, in which case I completely agree that that is a fantastic idea!

But seriously, please don't try to start a crime-fighting ghost army or something. Ghosts tend to have a really funny concept of justice. Just trust me on that one. LOL!

As far as your guano research is concerned... I just... I'm trying to...

Ugh. You're actually going to make me say it, aren't you?

It's poop, Megamind. Guano is poop. Not your instrument. The other guano. It's poop. Specifically bird poop. Or bat poop. Because somebody, somewhere one day decided that any fecal matter originating from a winged animal needed to have a special name.

And no, I don't know why. Well, it is used in fertilizer--and nightingale guano was used some ancient Japanese face treatments; please don't ask--but that hardly seems like a valid reason, does it? Why not just call it manure like everything else? And why do we spend so much time worrying about what poop is named anyway?

As far as I can tell the only reason is that humans are simply strange. I mean, we're the same species that came up with names like "Arctic" and "Antarctica," meaning "bears" and "no bears."

It's as if nineteenth-century explorers finally made it up to the Arctic and what did they notice first? The extreme cold? The epic achievement of surviving the trip on wooden ships and their own feet? Nope. Apparently, they said: "HOLY HECK! THERE'S SOME REALLY FRIGGIN' BIG WHITE BEARS UP HERE!"

Then they managed to reach Antarctica and asked: "WHERE ARE ALL THE BEARS?!"

So, yeah. We spend our time categorizing animal feces and we name places for their lack of bears. Don't think too hard about it. LOL!

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

What a great idea! BE A HERO, NOT A HAL!!! Oh, it's GENIUS!!! Not as genius of an idea as all of mine are, of course, but you're pretty close!! And, oh, this is going to go FAR beyond t-shirts!! There will be coffee mugs, posters, stickers! Even undergarments!!! I'LL MAKE A FORTUNE!!! -- So will you and Minion! I'm a hero, now, so I wouldn't keep it all to myself ~ selfishness is next to wickedness, as they say! I will be giving each of you a whopping 1% of the total profit!!!

(And ya know, just thinkin. This will teach all buyers a very important lesson -- "Don't use your sudden superhero abilities to destroy entire cities!")

((Ooo, you know what?? Once this has taken off, I'll finally be able to save for those new boots Roxanne seemed interested in! Can you imagine the look on her face when I surprise her with them? She'll be so EXCITED! I have a feeling she's been wanting to see me in that specific pair for some time, now.))

Oh, my incredible idea!! I'll tell you all about it, dear fan! And the, uh, the haunted house for charities -- yes! that was my NEXT idea!! But my FIRST idea, well, it DOES involve bringing the dead back to the world of the living, but not quite like you've imagined. No... my plan is this:

ROBOTICIZING the dead!!! I call them...

⭐ROBO-PEEPS!!!⭐

I've started with ALBERT EISTEIN!!! I'm a big fan. Oohh, I can't type another word! I shall complete my response after I've built him!!

OKAY! I return! So, I've stored everything Einstein ever made, all footage that was ever recorded of the man, onto a BRAIN DISC!!! I then built his robotic form from scratch (and I must say, he bears a STRIKING resemblance to the cherished genius) and inserted said BRAIN DISC!! HE LIVES ONCE AGAIN!!! HE LIIIIVES!!! hE LIIIIIIIIIVESSS!!! LOL! AND I SHALL DO THE SAME WITH YOUR LITTLE HOBBIT CREATURE, FRODO!!! FRODO LIVES INDEED! LOL!!

BRB!!

BACK! Frodo does seem melancholy, might have to REMOVE some of those memory files --

POOP?! well, this is just embrassing. It also explains why Minion kept insisting I give my instrument another name... and it explains the laughter. Roxanne's laughter, specifically.

W o w WHY DON'T THEY TELL ME ANYTHING?!?! HAVE THEY BEEN LAUGHING AT ME THIS WHOLE TIME???

Clearly I'll have to move onto other musical instruments. I won't live this down, otherwise. Hmm... what about bass guitars and drums? No, BUMTAR will only result in more ridicule. Perhaps trombones and flutes? MEGA TUTES? That might work!! I could even make them more helpful by using my 🧠🧠🧠 to alter the frequency of the musical notes -- designing them to vibrate so powerfully that it'll knock any ill-minded opponents off their feet!!

I know you told me not to ask, but... WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE PUT FECAL MATTER ON THEIR FACE?!!??!

Oohh, Einstein is stealing all of my eggs! AGAIN. Must go! Ciao!!

⚡MEGAMIND ⚡

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Hello, Megamind, I'm quite a fan--in case the user name didn't make it obvious enough--and I love your Gothic/Metal style. I'm curious, however, do you have the musical skills to match your hard rocker look? If so, what instrument(s) do you play? (And have you ever considered giving Music Man some pointers, because, seriously, enthusiasm is great and all, but dear Gods he needs help.)

Ollo! 😃 Why, yes, I do have musical skill, my dear fan, and it is EXCEPTIONAL!!!1 I play an instrument of my own creation..... half guitar, half piano! I call it...

⭐The GUANO!⭐

You know, I told Music Man that we'd make a fantastic musical duo but he, unfortunately, prefers flying solo. Foolish, I know. Together we'd be unstoppable!!

[true-blue-megamind]

Oh, well... His loss, really. But... Guano? Really? I um... I have to admit that that some might argue the name is slightly... crappy? In fact, some might call it... fowl. Love you anyway! LOL!

Also, I have to know: is that anything like a keytar?

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

WHAT???? Crappy?? FOWL??? Why ever would anyone think such a thing?????? 🤨 ☹

Keytar? 🤔 Hmm, nope. Never heard of it. 🔍TO GOOGLEY!!🔎

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! 😤 THAT'S EXACTLY MY CREATION!! THAT IS MY GUANO! SUCH THIEVERY IDKANZKWM

This goes out to the CRIMINAL who decided to STEEL my invention and CLAIM it as their own ----

❗❗YOU ARE INCREDIBLY RUDE❗❗

Ps -- you love me?

⭐ MEGAMIND, TRUE CREATOR OF GUANO AKA THE SO-CALLED "KEYTAR"⭐

[true-blue-megamind]

Awww... don't worry, Megamind. I'm sure your instrument is vastly superior in multiple ways.

I'm afraid there's not much that can be done about it, anyway. I mean, raining down laser-powered wrath upon the inventor of the keytar is right out; firstly because it wouldn't set a very good example as Defender of Metro City and secondly because I'm fairly sure he's already passed on.

Which means there would have to be a seance involved, and that seems like one of those Bad Ideas Minion has warned you about before. (Do you want hauntings? Because that's how you get hauntings.)

As far as the terms "crappy" and "fowl" were concerned, that was a joke. Or more accurately, to quote Terry Pratchett, "that was a pune, or a play on words."

That's because guano is... Well, what you have to understand is that guano is clearly a homonym, a word with multiple different meanings. And while one of those definitions is am awesome musical device invited by a marvelous blue alien super genius, the other is...

Um...

Well, guano basically means...

Do you know what? I think I'm going to simply let you Consult the Google about that one, too.

Finally, of course I love you! Nearly everyone--certainly everyone with excellent taste and discernment--loves the Incredibly Handsome Inventive Genius and Master of All Heroism! (Seriously, have you seen all the fan art?) I mean, you're exactly the sort of person most of us would want to hang out with. Your brilliant, funny, sincere... you've got great taste in music and you've been know to slip geek culture bits, such as a Star Wars reference, into your banter... Look, you're just fantastic, okay? Metro City got one hell Hades of an upgrade! Even your Goth look is better, far more stylish than Flying Elvis. LOL!

More than that, you gave so many of us who feel like outsiders, for a multitude of reasons, a hero we can identify with, who makes us feel like it's okay to be different. So never doubt that you are very much loved.

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Awww... don't worry, Megamind. I'm sure your instrument is vastly superior in multiple ways.

Right you are, my Fantastic Fan! Each and every one of my ⭐ GLORIOUS INVENTIONS ⭐ (the MegaFun Megalodon, the De-Plasticator Gator, Hungry Hungry Vacuums, Snack-in-the-Box, the Wheel of Cleanliness -- to name a few) are VASTLY SUPERIOR!!! Thanks for noticing ~ 😏

I'm afraid there's not much that can be done about it, anyway. I mean, raining down laser-powered wrath upon the inventor of the keytar is right out; firstly because it wouldn't set a very good example as Defender of Metro City and secondly because I'm fairly sure he's already passed on.

Oh, of course! Laser-powered wrath -- that's so 2010! Nooo, those days are faaar behind me. I truly am a changed man, a GOOD GUY™, and I have been for some time!

Which means there would have to be a seance involved, and that seems like one of those Bad Ideas Minion has warned you about before. (Do you want hauntings? Because that's how you get hauntings.)

Bad ideas?? Minion?? Warned?? Me??? About?? Whaaa???? Oohh, that Pitiful Pygo wouldn't recognize a bad idea if it were two feet in front him! (I'm not interested in hauntings at this current moment in time, no. But I will say this conversation has given me some EXCELLENT ideas! 😀👍)

As far as the terms "crappy" and "fowl" were concerned, that was a joke. Or more accurately, to quote Terry Pratchett, "that was a pune, or a play on words."

That's because guano is... Well, what you have to understand is that guano is clearly a homonym, a word with multiple different meanings. And while one of those definitions is am awesome musical device invited by a marvelous blue alien super genius, the other is...

Um...

Well, guano basically means...

Do you know what? I think I'm going to simply let you Consult the Google about that one, too.

So GUANO is not only my magnificent creation? It's alsoooo........

A BOOK ABOUT FLIGHTLESS BIRDS⁉️ 🤔

Finally, of course I love you! Nearly everyone--certainly everyone with excellent taste and discernment--loves the Incredibly Handsome Inventive Genius and Master of All Heroism! (Seriously, have you seen all the fan art?) I mean, you're exactly the sort of person most of us would want to hang out with. Your brilliant, funny, sincere... you've got great taste in music and you've been know to slip geek culture bits, such as a Star Wars reference, into your banter... Look, you're just fantastic, okay? Metro City got one hell Hades of an upgrade! Even your Goth look is better, far more stylish than Flying Elvis. LOL!

Oh, well... your ❤ is GREATLY appreciated... and also returned. 💙 (I have seen some of the fan's art! And I must say, it is incredible! ⭐My fans are the most talented of all!!!⭐ Just sayin')

I mean, you're exactly the sort of person most of us would want to hang out with. Your brilliant, funny, sincere... you've got great taste in music and you've been know to slip geek culture bits, such as a Star Wars reference, into your banter... Look, you're just fantastic, okay? Metro City got one hell Hades of an upgrade! Even your Goth look is better, far more stylish than Flying Elvis. LOL!

This is all 💯% true! (Side note: Star Wars, am I right?)

More than that, you gave so many of us who feel like outsiders, for a multitude of reasons, a hero we can identify with, who makes us feel like it's okay to be different. So never doubt that you are very much loved.

🤟🥺

You know, after all of these years, I've realized something -- That being true to yourself is one of the most important things you can accomplish! ⭐⭐⭐

(Unless you're, ya know, a murderer. Or a mugger. Or Hal Shtewart. Please don't be like Hal Shtewart, I beg of you -- we're still recovering)

Much love!!! 💙 👈😁👉 💙

⚡MEGAMIND⚡

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Hello, Megamind, I'm quite a fan--in case the user name didn't make it obvious enough--and I love your Gothic/Metal style. I'm curious, however, do you have the musical skills to match your hard rocker look? If so, what instrument(s) do you play? (And have you ever considered giving Music Man some pointers, because, seriously, enthusiasm is great and all, but dear Gods he needs help.)

Ollo! 😃 Why, yes, I do have musical skill, my dear fan, and it is EXCEPTIONAL!!!1 I play an instrument of my own creation..... half guitar, half piano! I call it...

⭐The GUANO!⭐

You know, I told Music Man that we'd make a fantastic musical duo but he, unfortunately, prefers flying solo. Foolish, I know. Together we'd be unstoppable!!

[true-blue-megamind]

Oh, well... His loss, really. But... Guano? Really? I um... I have to admit that that some might argue the name is slightly... crappy? In fact, some might call it... fowl. Love you anyway! LOL!

Also, I have to know: is that anything like a keytar?

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

WHAT???? Crappy?? FOWL??? Why ever would anyone think such a thing?????? 🤨 ☹

Keytar? 🤔 Hmm, nope. Never heard of it. 🔍TO GOOGLEY!!🔎

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! 😤 THAT'S EXACTLY MY CREATION!! THAT IS MY GUANO! SUCH THIEVERY IDKANZKWM

This goes out to the CRIMINAL who decided to STEEL my invention and CLAIM it as their own ----

❗❗YOU ARE INCREDIBLY RUDE❗❗

Ps -- you love me?

⭐ MEGAMIND, TRUE CREATOR OF GUANO AKA THE SO-CALLED "KEYTAR"⭐

[metro-citys-finest]

What did you mean by "we were just going through the motions"? Was Megamind not enough for you? Had he become predictable?

I’d say he’s pretty predictable, yes. Even if he pulls something completely out of the blue, I’m durable enough for it to not matter.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Is that so, Metro Man? Are you DURABLE enough to withstand the fact that I - MEGAMIND - am the NEW AND IMPROVED Defender of Metro City???

[metro-citys-finest]

The very same defender who unleashed both Tighten and the Button of Doom on my city? Some defender… a colossal klutz is much more accurate!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh yeah?! Well, your music IS TERRIBLE! That's right, I texted it! I never listen to it!

[metro-citys-finest]

Sounds like a you problem…

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

All right, Metro Ma'am, I'll admit your newest album is GOODISH, but even so, I only listen to it 3 times a week! So HA!

[metro-citys-finest]

All right, Metro Ma'am, I'll admit your newest album is GOOD... I only listen to it 3 times a week!

This just in!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

NO

[metro-citys-finest]

Too late! Hot off the presses!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

More like ❄ COLD OFF THE PUSHES! ✋

Hash tag ⚠️ MISQUOTE!!!! ⚠️

[metro-citys-finest]

It’s in the paper! “MEGAMIND ENDORSES HIT ALBUM”! I can see it now!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Nonono! The REAL headline will be, "METRO MAN ISN'T AS HEROIC AS MEGAMIND!" Take that!

[metro-citys-finest]

How about “MEGAMIND SKIRTS THE LAW AND IS NEVER HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR APPEARING TO HAVE MURDERED AND CELEBRATED THE DEATH OF METRO MAN”????

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"EX-HERO METRO MAN HID IN OLD SHOOL HOUSE WHILE TITAN ALMOST DESTROYED METROCITY!!! MEGAMIND SAVES THE DAY!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“METRO MAN SUFFERS A MENTAL CRISIS AND IS PUBLICLY SHAMED BY ESCAPED CONVICT WHO HAD TO CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS FOR A CHANGE!!!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN IS A LIAR!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“EVERYTHING IN MY LAST HEADLINE WAS TRUE!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN: FAKE NEWS!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“MEGAMIND: CAN’T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"MEGAMIND: NEW AND IMPROVED DEFENDER OF METROCITY!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“MEGAMIND: STILL CAN’T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN: CAN'T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL AND SO CONTINUOUSLY USES THE SAME ONE!!!!"

☆ MEGAMIND, DEFENDER OF METROCITY ☆

[metro-citys-finest]

“METRO MAN SUFFERS A MENTAL CRISIS AND IS PUBLICLY SHAMED BY ESCAPED CONVICT WHO HAD TO CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS FOR A CHANGE!!!”

You simply have no response to this, since you defaulted to calling me a liar (I tell only the truth). Ergo, you have no rebuttal. Furthermore, what exactly do you want me to rebuke? Your non-statement? You’ve essentially only said “Nuh-uh!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT !! What I did was a little less than perfect! I made a minor mistake! I ADMIT IT!!! I shouldn't have tried to kill you, I shouldn't have tried to recreate a hero in your image. I shouldn't have lied.

But I'm a changed man! Truly!

☆☆☆ MEGAMIND, CHANGED MAN ☆☆☆

[metro-citys-finest]

“Murder was a minor mistake” is a far cry from “changed man”!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Misquote!

[metro-citys-finest]

I made a minor mistake! I ADMIT IT!!! I shouldn’t have tried to kill you…

I mean, it’s right there.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Okay so murder is more than minor!

[metro-citys-finest]

Just more than minor??? I think it might be more severe than that…

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

So it's a horrendous crime! But I didn't ACTUALLY kill you!

[metro-citys-finest]

Way to conveniently forget that you believed I had died, and CELEBRATED IT, only to feel bad not out of guilt, but out of nostalgia for our rivalry. So selfish! So evil!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

This guy does NOT read the papers!!!

[metro-citys-finest]

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I'M A CHANGED MAN

[metro-citys-finest]

You’ve yet to serve your sentence!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh, I'll serve my sentence to you hot off the plate! You ready for it? You ready for my sentence! Well, here it is! "I have no sentence left to serve!"

[metro-citys-finest]

Here’s a good one: “Eighty seven life sentences”.

I don’t think it’s been that long, now, has it?

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

That sentence was removed! It's one of the perks of being the good guy!

[metro-citys-finest]

Good guys aren’t above the justice system. Weak guys are!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Weak??? I think NOT! I may not have the same level of strength as you, MeTrO MaN, but I CAN lift up to 100 pound weights! 🔩🔩

[metro-citys-finest]

Weak in the figurative, moral sense, not the physical. For such a big head, things like this often fly right over it!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

My figure is not weak, darn you! And neither are my morals!

☆ MEGAMIND ☆

[metro-citys-finest]

First of all, your figure is not what the word “figurative” denotes. Secondly, if your morals are as strong as you claim them to be, then you must recognize that for the law to be fair, no one can be above it. One good deed doesn’t undo thousands of other bad ones. Do your time!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I'm way too busy saving Metrocity to go to prison!

[metro-citys-finest]

So you’re above the law? Some defender! Your very position is antithetical, you hypocrite!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh yeah?? Well i dont see you doing anything about it! If you're really such a good guy, why haven't you thwarted me, yet?? Huh?? Like I said... CHICKEN! BOCK BOCK BOCK! hahahaha!!

[metro-citys-finest]

I’m giving you a chance to prove yourself. If you can’t do that, then I’ll take matters into my own hands.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

COMPLETELY UNECESESESARY! I've got this under control! Have you looked around, lately?? The streets are clean! Crimes rates have gone down significantly! AND!!! Everyone has FREE CABLE!!!

[metro-citys-finest]

So you consider yourself above the system you claim to protect?

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Ya know, I turned MYSELF in while you were LOUNGING AROUND in your solitary fortress! Oh, didn't know that, did you???

And guess what?? I was RELEASED! By a friend, yes, but that's not the point. The warden was cool with it! So was everyone else, and you know why? Cuz if I'd stayed imprisoned, there wouldn't even BE a system to protect! It'd all have been destroyed!

[metro-citys-finest]

But now the system is safe! I’m here. So abide by it! The warden isn’t the judge and jury, he has no say in your sentence.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I am abiding, these days!

[metro-citys-finest]

Then go. Serve. Your. Sentence! Otherwise you’re not abiding!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

No way! The city needs me! Roxanne needs me!

[metro-citys-finest]

Then you aren’t law-abiding. You’re a criminal! Through and through! Roxanne and the city are in good hands with me around, so get in your cell!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Make me!

[metro-citys-finest]

And there it is. You haven’t changed a bit. You still need me to bring you to justice, you don’t have a smidge of accountability. For shame!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

You clearly haven't read the papers!

[metro-citys-finest]

Metro Man! It's me, Megamind! I need your help! The DOOM SINDICIT HAS ABDUCTED ROXANNE!!!

Hang on now, I thought you were supposed to be the big bad defender. How the hell did you let this happen?

Plus, it’s spelled syndicate, just so you know.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

So about that -- Funny story! Roxanne wasn't abducted by the Doom Syndikit, she was actually just shopping. Ran out of eggs LOL 🥚🥚🥚

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Hello, Megamind, I'm quite a fan--in case the user name didn't make it obvious enough--and I love your Gothic/Metal style. I'm curious, however, do you have the musical skills to match your hard rocker look? If so, what instrument(s) do you play? (And have you ever considered giving Music Man some pointers, because, seriously, enthusiasm is great and all, but dear Gods he needs help.)

Ollo! 😃 Why, yes, I do have musical skill, my dear fan, and it is EXCEPTIONAL!!!1 I play an instrument of my own creation..... half guitar, half piano! I call it...

⭐The GUANO!⭐

You know, I told Music Man that we'd make a fantastic musical duo but he, unfortunately, prefers flying solo. Foolish, I know. Together we'd be unstoppable!!

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

how do you feel about this drawing

Whoever drew this clearly has skill!

[walmart-james-hetfield]

ayo i see you like my drawing 😎

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Like it?! Oh no! I LOVE IT!

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Check out my twit account!

[metro-citys-finest]

What did you mean by "we were just going through the motions"? Was Megamind not enough for you? Had he become predictable?

I’d say he’s pretty predictable, yes. Even if he pulls something completely out of the blue, I’m durable enough for it to not matter.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Is that so, Metro Man? Are you DURABLE enough to withstand the fact that I - MEGAMIND - am the NEW AND IMPROVED Defender of Metro City???

[metro-citys-finest]

The very same defender who unleashed both Tighten and the Button of Doom on my city? Some defender… a colossal klutz is much more accurate!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh yeah?! Well, your music IS TERRIBLE! That's right, I texted it! I never listen to it!

[metro-citys-finest]

Sounds like a you problem…

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

All right, Metro Ma'am, I'll admit your newest album is GOODISH, but even so, I only listen to it 3 times a week! So HA!

[metro-citys-finest]

All right, Metro Ma'am, I'll admit your newest album is GOOD... I only listen to it 3 times a week!

This just in!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

NO

[metro-citys-finest]

Too late! Hot off the presses!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

More like ❄ COLD OFF THE PUSHES! ✋

Hash tag ⚠️ MISQUOTE!!!! ⚠️

[metro-citys-finest]

It’s in the paper! “MEGAMIND ENDORSES HIT ALBUM”! I can see it now!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Nonono! The REAL headline will be, "METRO MAN ISN'T AS HEROIC AS MEGAMIND!" Take that!

[metro-citys-finest]

How about “MEGAMIND SKIRTS THE LAW AND IS NEVER HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR APPEARING TO HAVE MURDERED AND CELEBRATED THE DEATH OF METRO MAN”????

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"EX-HERO METRO MAN HID IN OLD SHOOL HOUSE WHILE TITAN ALMOST DESTROYED METROCITY!!! MEGAMIND SAVES THE DAY!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“METRO MAN SUFFERS A MENTAL CRISIS AND IS PUBLICLY SHAMED BY ESCAPED CONVICT WHO HAD TO CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS FOR A CHANGE!!!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN IS A LIAR!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“EVERYTHING IN MY LAST HEADLINE WAS TRUE!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN: FAKE NEWS!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“MEGAMIND: CAN’T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"MEGAMIND: NEW AND IMPROVED DEFENDER OF METROCITY!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“MEGAMIND: STILL CAN’T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN: CAN'T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL AND SO CONTINUOUSLY USES THE SAME ONE!!!!"

☆ MEGAMIND, DEFENDER OF METROCITY ☆

[metro-citys-finest]

“METRO MAN SUFFERS A MENTAL CRISIS AND IS PUBLICLY SHAMED BY ESCAPED CONVICT WHO HAD TO CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS FOR A CHANGE!!!”

You simply have no response to this, since you defaulted to calling me a liar (I tell only the truth). Ergo, you have no rebuttal. Furthermore, what exactly do you want me to rebuke? Your non-statement? You’ve essentially only said “Nuh-uh!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT !! What I did was a little less than perfect! I made a minor mistake! I ADMIT IT!!! I shouldn't have tried to kill you, I shouldn't have tried to recreate a hero in your image. I shouldn't have lied.

But I'm a changed man! Truly!

☆☆☆ MEGAMIND, CHANGED MAN ☆☆☆

[metro-citys-finest]

“Murder was a minor mistake” is a far cry from “changed man”!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Misquote!

[metro-citys-finest]

I made a minor mistake! I ADMIT IT!!! I shouldn’t have tried to kill you…

I mean, it’s right there.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Okay so murder is more than minor!

[metro-citys-finest]

Just more than minor??? I think it might be more severe than that…

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

So it's a horrendous crime! But I didn't ACTUALLY kill you!

[metro-citys-finest]

Do you remember that one time you saved Megamind when he almost died?

Yes. He may be evil, but I’m strongly opposed to the death penalty. Justice should be fair, above murder. Not equal to it.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I'M A CHANGED MAN

[metro-citys-finest]

You’ve yet to serve your sentence!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh, I'll serve my sentence to you hot off the plate! You ready for it? You ready for my sentence! Well, here it is! "I have no sentence left to serve!"

[metro-citys-finest]

Here’s a good one: “Eighty seven life sentences”.

I don’t think it’s been that long, now, has it?

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

That sentence was removed! It's one of the perks of being the good guy!

[metro-citys-finest]

Good guys aren’t above the justice system. Weak guys are!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Weak??? I think NOT! I may not have the same level of strength as you, MeTrO MaN, but I CAN lift up to 100 pound weights! 🔩🔩

[metro-citys-finest]

Weak in the figurative, moral sense, not the physical. For such a big head, things like this often fly right over it!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

My figure is not weak, darn you! And neither are my morals!

☆ MEGAMIND ☆

[metro-citys-finest]

First of all, your figure is not what the word “figurative” denotes. Secondly, if your morals are as strong as you claim them to be, then you must recognize that for the law to be fair, no one can be above it. One good deed doesn’t undo thousands of other bad ones. Do your time!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I'm way too busy saving Metrocity to go to prison!

[metro-citys-finest]

So you’re above the law? Some defender! Your very position is antithetical, you hypocrite!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh yeah?? Well i dont see you doing anything about it! If you're really such a good guy, why haven't you thwarted me, yet?? Huh?? Like I said... CHICKEN! BOCK BOCK BOCK! hahahaha!!

[metro-citys-finest]

I’m giving you a chance to prove yourself. If you can’t do that, then I’ll take matters into my own hands.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

COMPLETELY UNECESESESARY! I've got this under control! Have you looked around, lately?? The streets are clean! Crimes rates have gone down significantly! AND!!! Everyone has FREE CABLE!!!

[metro-citys-finest]

So you consider yourself above the system you claim to protect?

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Ya know, I turned MYSELF in while you were LOUNGING AROUND in your solitary fortress! Oh, didn't know that, did you???

And guess what?? I was RELEASED! By a friend, yes, but that's not the point. The warden was cool with it! So was everyone else, and you know why? Cuz if I'd stayed imprisoned, there wouldn't even BE a system to protect! It'd all have been destroyed!

[metro-citys-finest]

But now the system is safe! I’m here. So abide by it! The warden isn’t the judge and jury, he has no say in your sentence.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

I am abiding, these days!

[metro-citys-finest]

Then go. Serve. Your. Sentence! Otherwise you’re not abiding!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

No way! The city needs me! Roxanne needs me!

[metro-citys-finest]

Then you aren’t law-abiding. You’re a criminal! Through and through! Roxanne and the city are in good hands with me around, so get in your cell!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Make me!

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

how do you feel about this drawing

Whoever drew this clearly has skill!

[metro-citys-finest]

Do you wear underwear under your suit or is the underwear on the outside your underwear? ( sorry for weird question lollll just been wondering a while)

It’s under! It would be pretty gross to wear nothing under the suit. You could imagine the swass that comes from a strenuous day of defending!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

What is swass?

[metro-citys-finest]

Swamp ass. Basically, you get all sweaty and gross down there after a day of hard work. Not a good time.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh! Oh! This reminds me of that time I almost defeated you with my Sweatation Device!

☆ MEGAMIND, GOOD GUY ☆

[metro-citys-finest]

Wait, THAT’S why I had to take multiple showers that one time? What the hell, man? That was gross!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Yes, yes! It was absolutely revolting! And hilarious! MWAHAHAHAHAHA -- I mean. Heheheehe!! Sorry, old evil habits. They die hard, you feel me?

[metro-citys-finest]

No, I don’t. I’ve never been evil, never will be.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

EVIL IS SUBJECTIVE !!

[metro-citys-finest]

You heard it here first, folks!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

WAIT WHAT

[metro-citys-finest]

This just in, “evil is subjective” from supposed hero Megamind! You heard it here first!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Supposed?! I don't see YOU handing out ‼FREE WRENCHES‼🔧🔧🔧

[metro-citys-finest]

Well, I’ll be! If only that undid your untold amount of crimes…

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

That was a long time ago! The citizens of Metrocity have forgiven me! Why haven't you?? Aren't you supposed to be merciful or something???

[metro-citys-finest]

I uphold justice. Forgiveness is not its equivalent!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Uh huh. and do you have proof? 🤔

[metro-citys-finest]

What did you mean by "we were just going through the motions"? Was Megamind not enough for you? Had he become predictable?

I’d say he’s pretty predictable, yes. Even if he pulls something completely out of the blue, I’m durable enough for it to not matter.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Is that so, Metro Man? Are you DURABLE enough to withstand the fact that I - MEGAMIND - am the NEW AND IMPROVED Defender of Metro City???

[metro-citys-finest]

The very same defender who unleashed both Tighten and the Button of Doom on my city? Some defender… a colossal klutz is much more accurate!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Oh yeah?! Well, your music IS TERRIBLE! That's right, I texted it! I never listen to it!

[metro-citys-finest]

Sounds like a you problem…

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

All right, Metro Ma'am, I'll admit your newest album is GOODISH, but even so, I only listen to it 3 times a week! So HA!

[metro-citys-finest]

All right, Metro Ma'am, I'll admit your newest album is GOOD... I only listen to it 3 times a week!

This just in!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

NO

[metro-citys-finest]

Too late! Hot off the presses!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

More like ❄ COLD OFF THE PUSHES! ✋

Hash tag ⚠️ MISQUOTE!!!! ⚠️

[metro-citys-finest]

It’s in the paper! “MEGAMIND ENDORSES HIT ALBUM”! I can see it now!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Nonono! The REAL headline will be, "METRO MAN ISN'T AS HEROIC AS MEGAMIND!" Take that!

[metro-citys-finest]

How about “MEGAMIND SKIRTS THE LAW AND IS NEVER HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR APPEARING TO HAVE MURDERED AND CELEBRATED THE DEATH OF METRO MAN”????

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"EX-HERO METRO MAN HID IN OLD SHOOL HOUSE WHILE TITAN ALMOST DESTROYED METROCITY!!! MEGAMIND SAVES THE DAY!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“METRO MAN SUFFERS A MENTAL CRISIS AND IS PUBLICLY SHAMED BY ESCAPED CONVICT WHO HAD TO CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS FOR A CHANGE!!!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN IS A LIAR!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“EVERYTHING IN MY LAST HEADLINE WAS TRUE!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN: FAKE NEWS!!!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“MEGAMIND: CAN’T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"MEGAMIND: NEW AND IMPROVED DEFENDER OF METROCITY!"

[metro-citys-finest]

“MEGAMIND: STILL CAN’T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

"METRO MAN: CAN'T THINK OF A PROPER REBUTTAL AND SO CONTINUOUSLY USES THE SAME ONE!!!!"

☆ MEGAMIND, DEFENDER OF METROCITY ☆

[metro-citys-finest]

“METRO MAN SUFFERS A MENTAL CRISIS AND IS PUBLICLY SHAMED BY ESCAPED CONVICT WHO HAD TO CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS FOR A CHANGE!!!”

You simply have no response to this, since you defaulted to calling me a liar (I tell only the truth). Ergo, you have no rebuttal. Furthermore, what exactly do you want me to rebuke? Your non-statement? You’ve essentially only said “Nuh-uh!”

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT !! What I did was a little less than perfect! I made a minor mistake! I ADMIT IT!!! I shouldn't have tried to kill you, I shouldn't have tried to recreate a hero in your image. I shouldn't have lied.

But I'm a changed man! Truly!

☆☆☆ MEGAMIND, CHANGED MAN ☆☆☆

[metro-citys-finest]

“Murder was a minor mistake” is a far cry from “changed man”!

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Misquote!

[metro-citys-finest]

I made a minor mistake! I ADMIT IT!!! I shouldn’t have tried to kill you…

I mean, it’s right there.

~Metro Man

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

Okay so murder is more than minor!