Meg @megwins - Tumblr Blog

john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture should be

frogmp3

he literally called her a bitch so let’s raise the standards ladies and gentlemen

pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated

the bar is at the earth’s core

jupitercrash

literally fuck you to hell tumblr

bogleech

This is the first I heard of this guy and I think this is the most dramatically I’ve seen anyone’s words taken out of context in quite a while

megwins

oof this aged badly. that bar is never getting raised.

endangered-justice-seeker

the only criticism of millennials l accept

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Constructive Criticism

animatedtext

maralie-deactivated20211111

business email glossary

baracknobama

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press “send”

thanks for your interest: why’d you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i’ve done all i’m willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you’re too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn’t my problem

i’m copying in my colleague: this isn’t my problem and i am thrilled about it

i’ll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i’ll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i’m hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i’m not mad at you

thanks!!: please don’t be mad at me

thanks!!!: i’m crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i’m already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you’re an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -

Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don’t care what you think

memewhore

powerfulwizard

Someone: [thing that people need to live] should be free

All the notes: Are you saying my little sister who died of starvation should have gotten free food??? Are you saying my homeless mom freezing to death in the winter should have gotten a free sweater??? Are you saying my husband who died of scurvy should have gotten a free lime???

antodemico

Muun gave me the idea to make a greek chariot racer D.va and I had to do it. I thought it would fit her whole theme so well and I could see her praying to Winged Victory Mercy for a win on the races. It was a ton of fun working the horses on her mech design without altering the silhouette too much,

tin-pan-ali-deactivated20191216

john mulaney’s dad looks about like how i imagined

‘you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair’

yogurt-gun

“God can’t hear you.”

divawithanunspoiledagenda

“One black coffee”

thehighladyelf

I don’t know about yall, but I know too much about this man’s life for this to the the first time I’ve ever seen a picture of him

dankmemeuniversity

lauralot89

So the current research says that 66 percent of millennials have no retirement savings, 63 percent have over $10,000 in debt, and 31 percent are still living with their parents.

As a millennial who has no debt, a 401(k) and an IRA, and who is having a house built, I just want to say something to counter all the negative messages bombarding my generation about how lazy and entitled we all are. Do you know what’s the difference between me and those statistics?

Sheer dumb luck.

That’s it. I didn’t do anything differently than anyone else. I didn’t make better choices or go into the right major or any of that nonsense. I was just lucky enough to be born into a family with parents who could put enough into my savings that, when combined with scholarships, allowed me to graduate from college without any debts. I had pretty much no savings by the time I got my degree, but starting from nothing is still easier than starting with a negative balance.

I got hired within two months of graduation, and I’ve been with that company for going on six years. Again, nothing but dumb luck. My major, creative writing (one of the stereotypical ‘useless degrees’) has nothing to do with my career. They just needed employees and I happened to interview at the right time. And I was lucky enough that the job was in an area where I could live at home, rent-free, developing the savings that put me in a position to sign a contract on a house.

I was privileged and lucky. That’s it.

Sure, I worked hard in school. I gave it my all in my job interview. I’ve put in effort to get where I am.

But people without the head starts I had have worked much harder. I didn’t have to claw my way out of debt and poverty to get where I am. If I had to do that, I wouldn’t be here. I’d be another statistic for the boomers to dismiss.

You’re not doing anything wrong. You aren’t the ones who broke the economy. I haven’t figured out some correct, adult way of doing things that you haven’t. I just happened to start the game with some of the cheat codes.

You are all doing the best you can, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.