I'm new in this tumblr community and let me introduce myself
My name is Akila, you can call me Kila/Meiko, my other nickname. My pronous is She/her/them. And I'm 20years old!
I'm roleplayer and artist also writer but i rather into roleplaying now, cause i fall in love with it
I'm a weeb and also a gamer(just play small game)and like to drawing. Roleplay is also my life so i travel along the social media finding mroe roleplay's friend's or mainly, just friend
And if you interesting to roleplay with me, i always open, althought i have to list something about roleplaying with me. But if you just wanna be friend, that's okay as well! I'm fine with ut
Okay, i think thats all, hope we can be good friend's and hope you have great day!
could i bribe you into some headcanons/character analysis perhaps 💐🫲
Hi Anon,
I had minimal interest in Lighter until I found out how much of a dork he was, and all of a sudden, I'm in love. That said, Lighter sounds just like my friend, and I've never had to separate fiction from reality so hard.
Major spoilers ahead for Lighter's backstory, Trust Events, and Agent Story. This is just my opinion; I was hallucinating the entire time.
T.W: Suicidal thoughts, survivor's guilt + death
I'm going to break the fourth wall for a moment and hold your hand through the bars of my enclosure, writer to reader, so you can fully understand the vision. Lighter would make a good boyfriend, an even better friend, and absolutely thrive as a platonic lover.
Lighter's past and trauma are fundamental to who he is, and they continue to shape him throughout the current events of the story. Their influence is reflected in physical mementos, like the dog tags, the candies tucked away in his pocket, and his flip lighter, but they also define the way he thinks and views the world.
As a side note, I personally headcanon that Lighter wasn't originally a fan of sweets, and maybe still isn't. His old friends gave him lemon candies to help him quit smoking, and over time, those gradually became fruit-flavored lollipops, with grape eventually becoming his favorite. I like to imagine the sweetness reminds him of the happy memories they shared instead of the sour, bittersweet ones.
Lighter: Speaking of, what should I do with this candy the students just gave me? Such a headache...
Lighter: I should've just given it all back right away.
- Trust Event [ Near Richard Teamilk ]
Beyond that, a large part of Lighter's ideology revolves around the tension between his past and his present. He's far more introspective than he lets on, even if he doesn't have the most optimistic outlook on life. He's not suicidal, but he does spend a great deal of time reflecting on what it means to stay alive and to have a reason to keep living. That mindset likely stems from both his survivor's guilt and the years he spent in the underground fighting ring.
I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that Lighter was emotionally "dead" during that period. In his own words, he was "like a zombie, going from one opponent to the next." An experience like that doesn't simply disappear. He even reflects that perhaps the reason he kept fighting was that he had been yearning for death, believing that the least he could do was die alongside his friends (3rd Main Trust Event). Even after finding a better life with the Sons of Calydon, a group he has come to genuinely care about and wants to protect, those thoughts continue to linger.
Lighter: ...Whenever I stand some place high, I feel like jumping down.
Lighter: I heard the reason why people fantasize about jumping from high places is because we're all born with something called the "death drive."
Lighter: "The aim of all life is death. Only there can we find true peace." — It's an interesting theory.
- Trust Event [ Behind Simmer Hotpot ]
In my opinion, this combination turns Lighter into a martyr of self-sacrifice. He clearly takes pride in his title as both the strongest fighter and the "undefeated champion" of the Outer Ring. Maintaining that title and reputation is important to him. Part of it is a sense of responsibility to Billy for passing the torch to him, and part of it is gratitude toward Big Daddy for taking him in. At the same time, it also helps soothe his own insecurities about not being strong enough to save his former comrades. That could be why he leans into the showmanship despite being somewhat introverted. If the spotlight stays on him, and fights follow the tradition of one-on-one duels rather than all-out brawls, he can protect the people around him by making himself the target. The more attention drawn to the "Red Scarf," the less likely anyone is to go after the rest of the gang.
That same mindset is reflected in his sunglasses. He wears them to manage an old eye injury and to help hide his discomfort at the sight of blood because, as he says, it "isn't very impressive for the champion." The important word there is "champion," not "Lighter." To me, that distinction says a great deal. He's protecting the image of the champion long before he ever considers his own well-being (Although Proxy does mention that Lighter could be lying about the eye injury).
From what is currently known, Lighter is actually very low profile. He only steals the spotlight on the battlefield when he acts on his obligations as Champion.
"I know, fainting at the sight of blood isn't very impressive for 'The Champion.'"
- Agent Intel/Details
Lighter might be, or still be, afraid of forming deeper connections. Even with the Sons of Calydon, he knows he's not a stand-in or replacement for Billy, and he knows they genuinely care about him. Even so, he still makes "jokes" about leaving or only staying until his time is up. They create a bit of emotional distance, even if the people around him have already accepted him as part of the family.
Lighter: Are you saying it's a better option than staying in the Sons of Calydon? I'll have to think about that.
Piper: ...
Lighter: I'm just kidding.
- Open-World Dialogue [ Lumina Square ]
Lighter: "I'll stick around until I'm no longer needed."
Lighter: Can you promise me one thing? Don't tell my teammates what I just told you."
- 3rd Main Trust Event
This doesn't mean Lighter thinks less of himself or that he would actually choose to leave one day. I think it's simply a coping mechanism rooted in his past. It's similar to how we poke fun at our younger selves, but with a thin layer of truth and insecurity beneath each joke. After all, when Big Daddy first brought him into the Sons of Calydon, Lighter saw them as just another gang. Over time, that perspective changed into something much deeper. Even so, I still see his relationship with the girls as purely platonic or familial rather than romantic.
A romantic relationship is a bit more complicated. While it isn't always the case, the connections often end when the relationship itself ends and hit much harder. I could see Lighter being reluctant to take that risk because loss has already shaped so much of his life, whether through death or through circumstances beyond his control. Forming a romantic bond that carries the possibility of another painful ending may simply be a risk he isn't eager to take.
Lighter: One moment your partner is right by your side, laughing and joking, and the next they're killed by an Ethereal...
Lighter: This kind of thing keeps on happening... Maybe it's fate.
- Trust Event [ In front of Dew Gardening Shop ]
This is my perspective but relationships can sometimes feel pressuring. Certain expectations come with dating someone. For example, if a friend and partner suddenly disappeared for a week without saying anything. I think most people would feel more confused/frustrated with their partner. To be clear, every relationship is different. No relationship should make you feel like you have to do something, and you shouldn't feel obligated to meet arbitrary expectations. Likewise with friends. Even so, I think it's fair to say that most people naturally hold a romantic partner to different/higher standards than they would a friend.
Perhaps because of his debt and his willingness to take any job that paid, Lighter came to see life as one long transactional arrangement. When he first joined the Sons of Calydon, he assumed it was just another job. Only later did he grow to genuinely care about the gang and see them as more than coworkers. I think that progression, and where it ultimately stopped, is what feels comfortable for him, especially since I don't see Lighter viewing any of the girls as romantic partners. If anything, platonic or familial bonds may carry even more weight for him because of his past.
That's not to say Lighter is incapable of falling in love or dating someone. He does want to "move on," but I don't think romance is the way to go. Personally, I think his trauma is both the shackle that holds him back and the force that pushes him forward in his own life/self progression/development. He doesn't want to lose the people he cares about, so he constantly drives himself to become stronger. At the same time, his past mistakes prevent him from fully healing. To me, it all ties back to his survivor's guilt: "Why am I the one who gets to live?" Every day he experiences is another day one of his friends could have lived if only he hadn't made the wrong call. He makes several references to this envious mindset throughout his dialogue, yet despite everything, he still wants to keep moving forward.
Lighter: ...Billy is truly an incredible person.
Lighter: I'm envious of people like him... who can quickly move on from the "past" and keep moving forward.
Lighter: An ability to quickly move on from the "past" and keep moving forward.
Lighter: ...For me, it's still too difficult.
Lighter: Only by facing the future can we move forward...
- Trust Event [ In front of Lumina Galleria ]
So, all of this is to say that I think Lighter would benefit greatly from having and being a platonic lover. It's much more casual than a romantic relationship, but it can still hold the same emotional value. After losing so many people at such a young age, the label of a romantic partner might create a wall of distance for him, so removing that expectation could make a deeper connection easier for someone like Lighter to accept. Of course, there are different kinds of platonic relationships and different ways to express them, but platonic lovers are not necessarily planning a future together or merging bank accounts. While I highly doubt Lighter would actually kill himself, I do think that planning too far into the future could make his fears flare up, and the pressure might become overwhelming.
On the other hand, despite those fears, he clearly wants a deeper connection. He wants someone he can go out into the desert with to watch a shooting star, someone he can talk to about his worries so he feels less alone. His entire Agent Quest revolves around him doing exactly that with the Proxy, and look at how quickly he latched on. Respectfully, I don't think he wants to burden the Sons of Calydon, but I also believe their personalities mesh well enough for those quieter, more somber moments. The girls give him a safe space, but it's also one that feels like it should always be smiling. That's why he took on the red scarf. Even so, it wouldn't satisfy the kind of companionship he's really craving (ex. his conversations with Proxy).
Naturally I don't think it's that deep/complex within the canon of the game, especially since there is no romance option (Hoyo you cowards). This was mostly me strong fisting platonic lovers and force feeding the idea to someone who seems to have commitment issues. (And not at all self projection)
[Scenario] Hugo Vlad: Fanfiction about Mockingbird
cw: self-indulgent, possible OOC, fluff, female reader.
Hugo is not supposed to see it.
You leave your laptop open as you go to the bathroom. Just for a few minutes. But Hugo wanders over to your open balcony door “just to check if you need anything,” and the document title on the screen catches his attention.
“Midnight Heist: A Mockingbird Love Story” by [your username]
“Aha…”
He freezes in surprise, but in a second with the gleeful expression of a man who has just found the ultimate blackmail material, he starts reading.
After a while, you walk back to the room, you find Hugo sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed, and your laptop on his thighs, reading aloud in his most dramatic voice:
“«His heterochromatic eyes pierced her soul as he pinned her against the rooftop wall. “You’re mine now.” Mockingbird whispered as his golden hair glowed under the moonlight—» “
You let out a horrified squeak.
Hugo looks up at you with the most delighted smirk you’ve seen as his eyes are gleaming with pure mischievous joy.
“Darling,” he says, savouring every second of the situation, “you wrote this?”
You try to lounge for the laptop, but Hugo swiftly stands up and effortlessly holds it away with one hand, keeping it out of your reach.
“Oh, no-no. We’re not forgetting this. Chapter 2 is particularly inspired. «The way his long, elegant fingers flipped the coin made her heart race—»”
“Hugo, delete this now!” You cry, feeling your face burning like the sun.
The man gasps theatrically, now clutching your laptop to his chest like you’ve just asked to throw away one of his treasures.
“Delete it? Absolutely not! This is a masterpiece. My fans have written many things about me, but you… you captured my essence perfectly.”
He steps closer, still holding your laptop and having a teasing smile.
“Tell me, my dearest friend,” he almost purrs, “how long have you been secretly writing romantic fanfiction about me? Do you imagine me pinning you against walls often? Or is the rooftop scene more accurate to your… fantasies?”
You hide your face behind both hands, but Hugo gently pulls them away, still grinning.
“I’m flattered,” he says. “Truly. But mostly I’m going to be insufferable about this for the eternity.”
He finally gives the laptop back to you, but not before adding a comment:
“By the way… Chapter 5 is very well written. The part where Mockingbird kisses the protagonist under the stars?” He leans in and whispers, “I could do it better.”
He winks.
“Purely for research purposes, of course. If you ever need a consultant for accuracy.”
