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if i look back, i am lost
Keni

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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How do you celebrate your anniversary?
Happy Anniversary luvs!
Demon King of Salvation ✨
✨ Yoo Joong Hyuk
More reposting old art
I need to draw more punisher at some point
KDJ HF route after embracing the shadow
Yet another ORV x Fate/Stay Night AU with @levia-san.
Previous art by me Part 1, Part 2, by Levia Part 1, Part 2. This comic is continuation of Levia's beautiful Part 2.
More notes below!
More and more ORV x Fate/Stay Night AU with @levia-san!
Previous art by me here, by Levia here
More random notes below!
Bonus KDJ shadow dress if following Sakura's storyline in Heaven's Feel (which Levia then turned it into this painfully beautiful comic)
Hope you'll remember me.
TNGDH
Check NovelUpdates for previous chapter translations: here
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Update frequency: 1 chapter every Wednesday (UTC+9)
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Translation: Inactive (any translators may pick it up)
Novel: Completed
22 -- 23 -- 24 -- 25 -- 26 -- 27 -- 28 -- 29 -- 30
31 -- 32 -- 33 -- 34 -- 35 -- 36 -- 37 -- 38 -- 39 -- 40
TNGDH 22
“I still don’t know what I should do.”
Sen sighed.
“His Highness Belial is much more considerate than I had thought. If I agree to follow him to the castle, he told me he would take care of me so I wouldn’t have to worry about anything.”
I snorted inwardly while taking a bite out of the sandwich in my hands.
‘Take responsibility my ass.’
Who knows how much trouble it might bring if he involves himself in her business. Would a prince even have the time to protect a mere maid? Sure he would, if he plans to marry Sen that is.
“What are you pondering about? If I were His Highness Kyle, you’d be rooting for me.”
Sen clasped her hands together and looked up to me, her eyes open wide and sparkling, waiting for my answer.
I avoided her gaze as I nibbled on my fried ham and cheese sandwich.
“I’ve made up my mind, but I’m worried…… worried that I won’t be able to accomplish what I want.”
I glanced at her while licking off the bread crumbs on my finger tips. You said you wanted revenge. Why can’t you do it? Do you not have enough power?
The expression on her face looked to say that she knew that even the easiest path may also be a path full of thorns, so her worries didn’t seem to be anything about that. It may be a sense of helplessness on a more fundamental issue……
Between annoyance and curiosity, the latter got ahead of me. I made a subtle remark.
“What are you worried about? You’re smart and hardworking. Struggling from the lack of power and authority will only be temporary. The you I know will surely be able to accomplish whatever you want if you put your mind to it.”
That’s right. It hasn’t been long since we first met, but I knew this for a fact.
Sen is that kind of person. She will always go a step beyond the limits a person would set to oneself.
I could feel her determination. The determination to live on and to not stray from her own beliefs and values.
This is why I am not overly anxious about the story of this world, despite working hard to prevent Kyle’s death.
Sen can achieve everything she can possibly want to achieve without anyone’s help. In the time one would look back and regret their actions, Sen would take another step forward and eventually reach her goals.
It would’ve been better if <Winter’s Heart> was a fairytale. Everyone deserves to have the happily ever after. Sen, me, and also Kyle.
Suddenly, the contents of the original story popped up in front of me.
[“Your Majesty Belial. Could this be fate? For you, who resembles His Majesty the late Emperor, and I, who resemble my mother, to become so intertwined. Please tell me. Is this a coincidence……. or is this karma?”]
At first I couldn’t understand why this appeared. Why am I being shown something between Sen and Belial?
I know however. The system would never show me anything that wouldn’t be useful. Even the smallest details would have some sort of meaning.
[(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)]
No, not emotes. Those are usually useless.
[(´。_。`)]
I swiped away the emotes and carefully re-read the story contents from before.
‘Fate, coincidence, karma…….’
Human relationships can’t be neatly organized into those three categories. Belial wouldn’t be able to easily reply to a question like that. So, that shouldn’t be the point here……
Ah. Sen resembling her biological mother.
“Sen.”
I said as calmly as possible.
“Did you say that you wanted to avenge your mother?”
“Yeah. Due to some various incidents, she fell from her position from a baron family. I also heard she was once nominated for Serena. However… I’m sure you know. The nobility is always full of fights, with no knowing who started it. It could’ve been a fight for authority and everyone pretended not to know anything……”
Ah, now I understand.
There was now confidence in my voice.
“Then go.”
“Hm?
“You’ll know when you get there. Who is your enemy, who wants to get rid of you. Don’t miss anything and look around you carefully.”
Sen’s enemies will definitely recognize her. After all, she resembles her mother. They will see her and will want to erase her existence. Just like they did to her mother.
And if I were to guess from what Sen said in the story, one of those enemies would be Belial’s biological mother, the preceding Queen Serena.
“Would that be enough?”
“Of course. Also…….”
If she’s going against Belial’s mother, she definitely has to go with Belial.
The first step towards revenge is returning back after the passing of many seasons and seeing the shock on the faces of those who thought they had perfectly trampled everything down.
“Don’t let go of Belial.”
Whatever emotion it is that compels her is fine. Belial Serena Meinhardt. He will be Serena’s clue.
Sen began to ponder by herself. I couldn’t give her comforting words, but at least I conveyed the words she needed.
It seemed she decided to trust me. I’ve only shown her my suspicious and shady side, but she nodded her head with a boldly.
“Good. That’s what I’ll do.”
“You said you disliked the cold here in the North, so it worked out for you well.”
Then it seems I won’t be able to see Sen for a while. Will she be ‘Serena’ by the time we meet again, as according to her will?
No longer wishing to influence her fate, I felt that it was now time to step out of her life.
“Take care. Don’t be sick.”
“Shu.”
Sen looked at me quietly.
“Whenever you need help in the future, I will definitely come help you.”
I nodded and said yes.
It felt strange. It’s been a long time since someone told me they would help me, so those words sounded foreign to me. After my uncle ran off with all my insurance money, I couldn’t trust anyone anymore.
“Great. Don’t even think about taking back your words when that time comes.”
I laughed.
And then I prayed. For a happy ending to come to Sen, whether it would be through fate or a miracle.
[The possibility of Sen finding the correct revenge has increased!]
[The threat to Kyle Blake’s life has been reduced.]
[Current Miracle Value 23.0%]
If the miracles of saving a person’s life could really make everything perfect, then perhaps that would really be a life like a miracle.
*
As expected, the life of a hamster is the most comfortable. No need to worry about anything and without Kyle around, I could enjoy my time on my own.
I’ve earned quite a bit of Miracle Points. I wouldn’t use them often since these points weren't permanent, but it’s still good to have them in case of emergency.
There will definitely be items like the ‘Long-Lasting Acorn Cookies’ from before that can help turn the situation around.
Let’s see…….
‘Show me everything you’ve got.’
[(⊙ˍ⊙);;;]
Why, what. Is this your first time seeing the strength of a nut?
### He is flexing the amount of Miracle Value points he has
Give me everything you’ve prepared. No, give me everything including the ones you haven’t finished preparing too. Look at me trying my hardest to do good deeds. Let’s be nice to each other, ‘kay?
‘Come to think of it, didn’t it say it had a renewal opening?’
I was curious about the other pages I couldn’t see before. Kyle hasn’t come back yet, so I could look over it slowly.
[☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆]
[!Nut Store!]
Good, good.
[Knock Knock Pistachio Shell |Miracle Points 2% consumption|1-time use Master Key. It can open any lock!]
[Sweet Almond Tart |Miracle Points 5% consumption|You can transform into something else for 1 hour.]
Wow.
They’re worth as much as they’re expensive. The durations are short, but I am a ham- no a person who mastered the usage of ‘Summon’ despite its short duration.
As I tried to turn the page, another system window appeared before my eyes.
[NOW LOADING…….]
‘……Is it not completely made yet.’
Well, developing isn’t an easy task. Take your time.
While inspecting the system window thoroughly, I saw a new heart-shaped button in the right corner. What is this? Is this also a shop?
[Love Love Corner~❤]
‘Ah.’
Before I fill up my Miracle Value, I hope I can hit the system just once. I calmed down my emotions and clicked on the Love……. anyway, I clicked on it.
[Fluffy hamster yarn! | ❤×1]
[Small and precious knitting needle set | ❤×1]
[Try making one yourself! 79 styles of hamster clothes| ❤×2]
[Replica hamster to soothe the loneliness (Duration : 30 minutes) | ❤×100]
This time, the currency unit was not Miracle Points
‘Heart? What is that?’
[Currently Possessing Hearts | ❤×312]
[Products bought in the ‘Love Love Corner’ will be recognized as an ‘Item’! Both customizable and adjustable!]
When did I possess so many hearts!? I’ve never even collected them!
‘This, no way this is…….’
*
My life…….
I looked over to Kyle with a rotten expression on my face. And impressed by his affection towards me, I pushed my front paws onto the rope.
“You ride well, Cashew.”
He said with overflowing satisfaction.
I sat on a piece of wood held up by two thin ropes and swayed on it helplessly back and forth.
It was a swing that Kyle brought over.
Who bought this thing. Don’t tell me, Sen? This…… is this how you repay me back after helping you…….
[||ㄱ―||]
I know, my expression looks exactly like that emote. We both know I look like that, but only that bastard Kyle doesn’t know.
Kyle continued to push the swing I was sitting on while making noises unlike of his character.
“There you go! Try stretching your legs a bit further. You are holding on tightly to the rope right? As expected, you must be enjoying this a lot.”
―Squeak. (Stop it.)
“Sen said you’d like this, since you are such an active child always running on the hamster wheel.”
―Squeak……. (Bullshit…….)
Sen. ‘m gurnna gill you……
### “Sen. I’m going to kill you……” with clenched teeth in frustration
Doing all this doesn’t mean I’ll lose weight or form a mana stone, and yet it seems he’s already quite happy seeing me play like this. He looked truly happy and had a soft smile on his face.
“From magicians to veterinarians to a demonic beast specialist… you have no idea how much I’d do for you.”
Hearing those words, I pushed my bottom harder while letting out a deep sigh. The swing creaked and began to swing a little faster.
Kyle then let go of the swing. I pushed myself against a pillar to rock myself back and forth.
The wooden swing made cheerful and light noises as it swayed fast. Kyle was so moved seeing me shake my bottom that he began to clap.
Sigh. It sure is hard to play with you.
[Currently Possessing Hearts | ❤×320]
As long as you’re happy…….
--------------------------------------------------------
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T/N: Please don't hesitate to message me through Ask Me Anything if there are mistakes! Also, consider tipping me if you liked my translation here. Every tip will be an extra chapter released the week after, plus early chapter access for members!
TNGDH
raws ┊ webtoon (promo) ┊ novelupdates
Chapter List
non hyperlinked chapters can be read here in advance
001⠀✿⠀002⠀✿⠀003⠀✿⠀004⠀✿⠀005⠀✿⠀006⠀✿⠀007⠀✿⠀008⠀✿⠀009⠀✿⠀010⠀✿⠀011⠀✿⠀012⠀✿⠀013⠀✿⠀014⠀✿⠀015⠀✿⠀016⠀✿⠀017⠀✿⠀018⠀✿⠀019⠀✿
TNGDH 001
I became a hamster. No wonder I thought I was hearing squeaks last night, it turned out to be like this. Shiny golden fur that doesn’t lose its light even in the dark. Four lovely pink-tinted feet. Long whiskers that twitch whenever I move my cheeks. The black curtains flutter and the light leaks in from the steel cage hitting my eyes. Wait a minute… a steel… cage? A cage?! ― Eek. (Why?) I didn’t just become a hamster. I became a hamster that’s been trapped somewhere. * Thud. Thud. Thud. The cage I was in suddenly shook heavily and my small body rolled around in different directions as the cage kept moving. Who is it?! Who the hell drives like this?! Can’t you drive safely! Thump. My body sways to the corner again and I feel my butt stinging from falling too many times. Then I heard a horse sniffing, it felt thrilling to think that I was going to ride a horse. However, it only felt thrilling for a bit before I thought, It seems like I’m gonna be meeting King Yeomra. King Yeomra is the King of the underworld, hamster thinks he'll die because of the cage being shaken. Where the hell are we going? Why did I become a hamster? And why the hell are we not riding a bus or a train, but riding a horse? This is unfair, I feel so wronged. It’s so absurd that I have to explain, it’s so obvious that I’m a human not a hamster! That’s right I’m human! Bae Soohyun. I’m turning 27 this year. Even though my life was like a thorny path, I am a small mugwort that didn’t give up and kept living. It was a life where it seemed like I kept working day, night, dawn, early in the morning, from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday to Thursday to Friday to Friday to Friday… But I had no doubt that my hard work would pay off. After years of hard work, it seems the day has finally come. The day when the game I developed became a big hit. I think it’s dead. Dead… That’s right… I died. After the earlier confusion of becoming a hamster has passed, my memories slowly started to come back. The game became popular and it felt like the son I was raising finally became successful. I was finally able to receive the first batch of settlement money thanks to the game. I rushed back home feeling so happy that I could fly. Rattle. The cage suddenly shook as the horse started moving. And I started shaking back and forth, my head felt like it was going to pop and my eyes slowly lost shine as I felt dizzier and dizzier. Are you kidding me?! I kicked the cage a few times hoping for the shaking to stop and then heard a voice not so distant. “I’m sorry.” An unfamiliar, deep yet friendly voice. “Just endure it for a little bit more.” But why did it feel like I’ve heard this line somewhere before. I’m sorry, just endure it for a little bit more. I’ll take you to your new home soon. It suddenly came to mind. While walking at the crossing on my way home, I bumped into a child who seemed anxious while carrying a hamster cage, then a car hit my body. I instinctively felt my death then, all my senses were occupied by the fact that I was hit by a car, and my consciousness started fading away. Twinkle. In front of my eyes something glistened brightly. Wait a minute, what’s that blue thing… [ Hello World! ] I was stunned by the blue system filling up my field of vision. A familiar phrase, the most basic sentence someone with programming knowledge would know. This is the very first phrase you learn to code when you start programming. Then, several windows came up one after another.
[ Connection confirmed. Checking data. ] [ Determining quest. ] [ Calculating miracle value. ] [ Synchronization not complete. Please wait. ] [ Synchronization 0% complete. ] What does this mean? Data? Quest? Synchronization? Since the moment I woke up, this ridiculous situation started and kept going, I didn’t even get the chance to be surprised. While in a daze, the horse which had been rattling the cage non-stop suddenly fell silent and the owner of the voice earlier seemed to get off the horse. The tumultuous movement stopped, but I still felt nauseous. The cold wind blew into the cage, and I shivered. Suddenly, I heard another distant voice. “Your Highness, are you sure you don’t want to throw it out?” Your… Highness? First I rode a horse, now someone’s talking to a royal. These are words that you wouldn’t even hear in 21st century Korea. The term “Your Highness” is only something I heard as a child watching sageuk dramas. Then the deep voice I heard earlier replied. Sageuk is a k-drama genre in which characters wear historical costumes. “It’s a pup that was left alone by the horde, don’t you feel it’s a bit pitiful?” pup - baby hamster / horde - group of baby hamsters “What pity, Your Highness? It’s a child of a demonic beast, when it grows up,it will learn to seduce its prey.” I looked down at my small and round body, what do you mean seduce? Is this body even capable of seducing? In the first place, I’m not even a demonic beast, just a normal hamster, no I mean human! Heh, you’re quite convincing using that serious voice of yours, but you’re obviously joking! The man with the deep voice suddenly cut through my thoughts. “It’s still a child.” “A child of a demonic beast, Your Highness.” “That’s right, a child.” “Your Highness, the most important thing is that it’s a demonic beast!” That… Can you please stop referring to me as a child. It’s weird… While I was grumbling away my frustrations, I heard the man speak, this time anger laced his voice. “Are you questioning my decision?” He spoke words that could normally be taken lightly yet the way he enunciated it word by word felt like a threat, and that there was only one correct answer. “No, Your Highness, I was just momentarily confused since such a thing has never happened before. How dare I question the Grand Prince’s decision.” “Right. So, I’ll take care of it, surely you don’t think I am weaker than a demonic beast that’s barely the size of my fist?” You’re telling me he’s not just a royal, he’s the Grand Prince? “I already sent a man to the estate to prepare it's house, it would be fun to add little ornaments with it.” “Your Highness, you can also raise a real hamster, should I tell the man to prepare another one?” “No. Don’t test my patience.” “…Yes” This person is quite stubborn huh.
Soon the cage started shaking again, this time as the man walked, I could hear his armor rattling and his heavy footsteps rang. Then I felt the air around me get warmer little by little as he marched up the stairs.
It must be winter. Yet I died during summer, now I realize the abnormality of the situation. The man took me to a room and then removed the cloth covering the cage.
“Here we are.” I crouched in a corner and pretended to be asleep desperately. Somehow it felt like the smart thing to do, I couldn’t speak even if I wanted to tell him about my situation. Even if I told him, who’s to say he will not decapitate me for spewing nonsense.
How did my life become like this! Give me back my money! My skills! My future that was unfolding brilliantly! “Tsk. Tsk.” The man clicked his tongue, then he sighed deeply. Hey! I’m the one who’s supposed to be sad at this situation, why are you the one clicking your tongue! Ah, I really hate when people do that… Oh right, I was pretending to be asleep… Sleep… “Does it really not have a human heart?” He murmured.
What human heart? What is he talking about? “Looking at these naive eyes, before it turned into a demonic beast, did it really not have the heart of a human?” N-naive? Which eyes looked naive? Surely it’s not mine? “That’s right, for them there’s no such thing as compassion... Did I stay away from the North for too long? It’s no different from a glacier, it’s freezing. Tsk.” Suddenly, the man opened the cage, stretched out his hand and caught me in his palm.
― Eek! I was so surprised I forgot I was pretending to sleep, as I opened my eyes, I made eye contact with him.
[ 50% synchronized. ]
[ Kyle Jane Minehardt. Great Duke of Blake. ]
The blue system window showed up below his face. Hold on, this name, I’ve heard of it somewhere. Without knowing what was in my head the whole time, he raised me closer to his face. I felt his warm hand full of scars and calluses against my soft fur. Then he rubbed my cheek.
E-excuse me?! “You did well enduring the ride home, cashew nut, you must’ve been bored the whole way.” Bored? The ride was full of shock and horror for me, okay?! Wait, aside from that, can’t you put me down first? What the hell is this situation, why did you suddenly remove me from the cage… Wait! No! Don’t peck me! ― Squeak! Eek! [ Let me go! ]
“Yes, yes, I know how you feel.” What do you know… You don’t understand a thing! Ack! Why’s he kissing me like he’s dying of love! A kiss… ― Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! [ You bastard! What kind of dog kisses nonstop like you?! ]
“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” ― Squeak! [ Get lost! ] “Did you like being kissed?” I can’t take this anymore!
Wait a minute… This face… I took a moment to observe all his features, his pale yet tough complexion, distinct eyebrows, his hair that’s dark as a raven, his eyes which glowed crimson. A cold and resolute beauty.
― Eek! [ Grand Duke Blake ] I remember. The Duke of the North, Kyle. A supporting actor from the novel, The Heart of Winter, I always read while traveling to and from my company. Not only was he a supporting actor, he’s a supporting actor that dies in the middle of the novel. A man who’s life was miserable from start to finish, yet died with no regrets. The reason why I remember him, and not the protagonists of the story, was that he’s the unluckiest character in the novel. He was unlucky to the extent that I lamented his cold fate many times.
So, I died, and transmigrated into a novel? “Cashew nut?” Cashew nut, my name, I mean the name of the hamster’s body I’m occupying. Kyle stared at me, he seemed to be worried as if something went wrong. His gaze was warm and full of kindness.
Stop looking at me! This bastard, you’re gonna pierce through me with that stare! I’m just worn out… I flicked my head away from his stare, and turned back to glare at him. I tried my hardest to look as mean as possible.
“That look…” It’s scary right?! You’re so afraid you could die, right? I look like a dangerous demon, don’t I?! So put me down!!! You kiss crazed bastard! [ Cold and strict personality. Clean and thorough. Frigid and Merciless. ] “You look so cute, staring at me like that.” Aren’t you the cold blooded Duke of the North?! Let go of me! What do you mean cold and strict?! What merciless? ― Squeak! [ Let go! ]
Yet the Duke didn’t let me down for a long time and I had to put up with the crazy kisses the he bestowed.
Help me, please! Save this hamster!
novel ⠀✿⠀ next
⚠️ ROUND 6 ⚠️
Hope you'll remember me.
Translation Masterpost
It’s getting hard for me to keep track of my own translations, so I decided to make a masterpost for the sake of convenience.
For those who are only interested in the translations and not my other posts, you can go to my Livejournal. I will still post on Tumblr but well, it gets mixed up among my reblogs. NSFW chapters will only be posted on Tumblr, but I’ll post a link on my LJ too.
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Keep reading
I am now closing all my tumblr accts due to inactivity. You can always find me in twt so dont hesitate to drop me a dm here or any of my social media accts. Will not delete my art blog and asksblogs for archiving purposes.
Nox (cynicallyinkless, fiveminutemeal, lorimer-no, etc) is an internet predator, a scammer, and a chronic liar. Here’s what you need to know.
He always made it seem like I had a choice and free will but… he manipulated me so bad that leaving wasn’t an option because I felt so bad for him. It’s so insidious. - one of Nox’s many ex-partners
Nox (Noximillian, Noxim Raven, Cynicallyinkless, @SirAlthair, @SirAlthairx, fiveminutemeal, onehalfdime, lorimer-no) is an internet predator.
He has pursued teenagers and young women nearly 10 years his junior. He is 32 and his latest partner was 19.
He has emotionally abused his numerous partners via gaslighting, emotionally manipulative language, and negging, as well as other abusive tactics.
He has cheated on his partners with multiple other women_. _Though he claims to be in happily polyamorous relationships, many of the partners he was dating were not happy about the situation. He often kept the truth about his other partners from them.
He has lied about his entire identity to his partners, up to and including faking his own voice and sending pictures and nudes that were not of him. He also lied about other details of his life, such as his family structure (claiming his mother was dead and that he had adopted a daughter) and his educational status (claiming he had finished his degree), which leads to:
He has accepted nearly $3500 from his friends in order to fund his education, then did not finish his degree. What the money was used for is unclear, but he took multiple expensive trips with his friends after receiving the cash.
Be aware. Know the facts. Protect yourself. If you’re in a relationship like this, seek help immediately. If you see the warning signs of a relationship like this, get out as fast as you can.
More information is below the cut.
Keep reading
Im really salty tonight and I just want to show you how this mdfker mindfucked me for months, played with my feelings and discarded me like a used rug.
This is a screenshot of him agreeing and confirming to me that we are dating. 2 months later, he dropped this bomb at me when I asked if his girlfriends know about me already.
It broke me. I felt like someone did the ice bucket challenge at me without my permission. After that, nothing came out good in our relationship and I was mostly punished with silent treatment and passive aggressiveness from him. I didnt even feel like we were friends anymore. There were so much abuse i dealt with but im showing this screenshots now because he claimed to other people that we never dated. And i wish that were the case. I really do. No person deserves to suffer like i did in his hands. And he had the gall of antagonizing me to his partners. Here is a big .l. faq you to you, you dipshit. Enjoy hell soon like you always wanted
Just popping in, we dated for 9 years. NINE. I lost those years endlessly waiting for him, patient. Being by myself, alone. I couldn’t say or so anything to imply I was sad or feeling alone I would be guilted.
We planned our future. Where we would live, our jobs. We were supposed to open a coffee and flower shop together and settle. I had a ring for the future. But now I see it was a leash.
I knew nothing. Nothing about other girls. In fact he was only okay with poly FOR ME. And only if he liked the other. No men. That was the rules. We were to talk about it.
I’m blind sided. I’m angry (only at him). And I’m hurt. I’m so hurt.
I paid for schooling to pay for our future….
Was the $2000 stolen by the visa service a lie too? That was my schooling.
His schooling? That was my inheritance from my grandmother and my fathers death. Which was only six months apart.
I couldn’t send gifts. I couldn’t send letters. I tried to fly out during one of his hospital emergencies but was not allowed.
He told them to not drink?
He ENCOURAGED mine. “Hahaha yeah sweets, get drunk off your ass, it’s cute.” Even though my mum is a recording alcoholics to which alcohol has nearly killed her multiple times.
Relationship? That died off. All he did was send me a sticker maybe every day or every other day if I’m lucky. Just to remind me that he’s there that he remembers me. Ha.
Sure
Fine
Fuck you
Nox (cynicallyinkless, fiveminutemeal, lorimer-no, etc) is an internet predator, a scammer, and a chronic liar. Here’s what you need to know.
He always made it seem like I had a choice and free will but… he manipulated me so bad that leaving wasn’t an option because I felt so bad for him. It’s so insidious. - one of Nox’s many ex-partners
Nox (Noximillian, Noxim Raven, Cynicallyinkless, @SirAlthair, @SirAlthairx, fiveminutemeal, onehalfdime, lorimer-no) is an internet predator.
He has pursued teenagers and young women nearly 10 years his junior. He is 32 and his latest partner was 19.
He has emotionally abused his numerous partners via gaslighting, emotionally manipulative language, and negging, as well as other abusive tactics.
He has cheated on his partners with multiple other women_. _Though he claims to be in happily polyamorous relationships, many of the partners he was dating were not happy about the situation. He often kept the truth about his other partners from them.
He has lied about his entire identity to his partners, up to and including faking his own voice and sending pictures and nudes that were not of him. He also lied about other details of his life, such as his family structure (claiming his mother was dead and that he had adopted a daughter) and his educational status (claiming he had finished his degree), which leads to:
He has accepted nearly $3500 from his friends in order to fund his education, then did not finish his degree. What the money was used for is unclear, but he took multiple expensive trips with his friends after receiving the cash.
Be aware. Know the facts. Protect yourself. If you’re in a relationship like this, seek help immediately. If you see the warning signs of a relationship like this, get out as fast as you can.
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Im really salty tonight and I just want to show you how this mdfker mindfucked me for months, played with my feelings and discarded me like a used rug.
This is a screenshot of him agreeing and confirming to me that we are dating. 2 months later, he dropped this bomb at me when I asked if his girlfriends know about me already.
It broke me. I felt like someone did the ice bucket challenge at me without my permission. After that, nothing came out good in our relationship and I was mostly punished with silent treatment and passive aggressiveness from him. I didnt even feel like we were friends anymore. There were so much abuse i dealt with but im showing this screenshots now because he claimed to other people that we never dated. And i wish that were the case. I really do. No person deserves to suffer like i did in his hands. And he had the gall of antagonizing me to his partners. Here is a big .l. faq you to you, you dipshit. Enjoy hell soon like you always wanted
Just popping in, we dated for 9 years. NINE. I lost those years endlessly waiting for him, patient. Being by myself, alone. I couldn’t say or so anything to imply I was sad or feeling alone I would be guilted.
We planned our future. Where we would live, our jobs. We were supposed to open a coffee and flower shop together and settle. I had a ring for the future. But now I see it was a leash.
I knew nothing. Nothing about other girls. In fact he was only okay with poly FOR ME. And only if he liked the other. No men. That was the rules. We were to talk about it.
I’m blind sided. I’m angry (only at him). And I’m hurt. I’m so hurt.
I paid for schooling to pay for our future….
Was the $2000 stolen by the visa service a lie too? That was my schooling.
His schooling? That was my inheritance from my grandmother and my fathers death. Which was only six months apart.
I couldn’t send gifts. I couldn’t send letters. I tried to fly out during one of his hospital emergencies but was not allowed.
He told them to not drink?
He ENCOURAGED mine. “Hahaha yeah sweets, get drunk off your ass, it’s cute.” Even though my mum is a recording alcoholics to which alcohol has nearly killed her multiple times.
Relationship? That died off. All he did was send me a sticker maybe every day or every other day if I’m lucky. Just to remind me that he’s there that he remembers me. Ha.
Sure
Fine
Fuck you