Scandalous boyzzz

Les garçons & leurs remarques totally scandalousss

[melanienboyzzz]

Alors, ça baise ? / So, fucking around ?

A text message by the boyzzz who told me I probably had a lot of stds (post below / post en dessous) and that I didn’t want to talk to anymore

[melanienboyzzz]

Lui: Tu couches avec des gars ? - Moi: Euh ça m'arrive - Lui: Ah ouais du coup faut que je fasse gaffe, tu dois avoir pleins de mst / Him: So do you ever sleep with guys? - Me: Um well yeah it happens - Him: Oh yeah so I have to watch out, you must be full of stds

A boyzzz I was seeing - Aaah the “whore” imaginary, still ever so present in 2020

[melanienboyzzz]

Lui: Je vais booker mon vol pour venir te voir dans la ville à l'étranger où tu vis - Moi: Oh trop cool ! Du coup, quand exactement tu penses ? - Lui: Fais gaffe, tu t'attaches beaucoup. J'ai pas envie de te faire du mal moi" / Him: I'm gonna take a plane next week to come and see you in the foreign country that you live in - Me: Oh so cool! So when exactly? - Him: Watch out, you're becoming really attached, I don't want to hurt you

A boyzzz I was sorta “dating” who had attachment and/or communication issues 

[melanienboyzzz]

Tu penses t'es qui de me voler ma meuf ? / Who the f do you think you are to steal my gurl?

So I’m the gurl. And this is a guy I dated once who told this to my boyfriend - sorry, I didn’t know I was a vase and was stealable.

[melanienboyzzz]

Je n'aurais jamais pu imaginer que tu comprennes la politique / I didn't know you would know anything about politics

A boyzzz I‘ve been dating a bit and who loves me and my personality - he just forgot to ever ask me any questions about me (ps. I studied political sciences for 5 years)

[melanienboyzzz]

J'adore chez toi, enfin je veux dire chez nous / I love your home, I mean our home

A boyzzz I’ve been dating for 2 weeks who calls me drunk af at 7am - FYI it is MY apartment, I am paying the rent and living alone there

[melanienboyzzz]

N'oublie pas de récupérer tes livres, sinon je vais les utiliser comme PQ et m'essuyer le cul avec / don't forget to pick up your books or I'll use it as toilet paper and wipe my ass with it

A boyzzz flirting with me - trying to be cute, looks stupid

[melanienboyzzz]

Lui: J'adore to t-shirt Lacoste! - Moi: Oh merci ! J'adore cette marque :) - Lui: Moi aussi et j'adore aussi cette marque et cette marque et cette marque et cette marque (m'envoie des photos de tout son dressing, dont certaines photos de lui torse nu) / Him: Love your Lacoste shirt! - Me:Thx! I love Lacoste brand :) - Him: Me too, I also love this brand and this brand and this brand and this brand (sends me pictures of his whole closet, amongst which photos of him with no shirt on

A boyzzz chatting with me on ig - how to turn a conversation about oneself

[melanienboyzzz]

Salut, j'ai vraiment envie de te voir, de t'embrasser, te câliner - oh trop cool, moi aussi, viens on se voit - j'ai pas fini. J'ai envie de faire ça avec toi et une autre fille en même temps / Hey, I really want to see you, and kiss you and hug you - oooh cool me too, let's see each other - I'm not finished. I want to do that with you and another girl at the same time.

A boyzzz I was seeing - sorry for interrupting your flow

[melanienboyzzz]

T'en as jamais vu une aussi grosse hein, avoue ? / I bet you never saw one that big, right ?

A boyzzz I did touchepipi with - anything else on the ego boost list for you ? 

[melanienboyzzz]

Je peux pas manger épicé, sinon je chie non stop pendant toute la nuit et ça me fait trop mal au cul tu vois / I can't eat spicy food, or else I shit all night and it just fucking burns my ass you know

A boyzzz I’m on a date with - and that was before he told me about the time he couldn’t stand up because he was so drunk and puked all over himself  

[melanienboyzzz]

Ce que j'aime pas avec les préservatifs, c'est que du coup ça dure plus longtemps (10min au lieu de 2min) / What I hate about condoms is that with them, it lasts longer (10min instead of 2min)

The same boyzzz who is super unique because he doesn’t like condoms 

[melanienboyzzz]

J'ai vraiment ce truc hyper bizarre et unique, j'aime pas les préservatifs / I have this really weird and unique thing, I don't like condoms

Yes, you probably guessed right - A boyzzz (#56473) trying to convince me we should have sex without a condom 

[melanienboyzzz]

Tu mérites de te faire violer par des chiens / You deserve to be raped by dogs

A boyzzz on Tinder according to whom I took too long to answer his last message (6 hours) 

[melanienboyzzz]

Tu m'as pas cuisiné le poulet rôti que tu m'avais promis ? T'as envie de te faire taper en fait ? / You didn't cook the roasted chicken you had promised me ? So you just want to be hit ?

Nah, I’m good, but thx for offering // 3rd date with this boyzzz (FYI: I had never promised a roasted chicken, he had decided I would cook one for him)

[melanienboyzzz]

J'aimerais trop travailler en agence de comm', car y'a trop de belles gosses. Tu vois, j'imagine la grande brune à lunettes trop mignonne / I'd love to work in a comms agency, there seems to be so many good looking chicks. You know, those cute gurlzz with long brown hair, tall and wearing glasses

A boyzzz I’m on a date with - I am short, platinum blond pixie look and no glasses 

[melanienboyzzz]

Je fais un tour sur mon insta, ça fait longtemps / just checkin' my ig, it's been a while

A boyzzz I’m on a date with - I had just started talking for 1min after listening to him talk about himself for 1 hour and a half