The room is dark, but Urbain can make out a few of the shadows cast onto his wall by the moonlight that filters through his poorly-drawn shut curtains. He can follow the movements of his body as he pushes himself up into a sitting position as his head throbs; what the hell was he thinking, drinking that much? Clearly, he wasn’t thinking, and now he’s paying the price of his idiocy.
His phone blinds him, but thankfully, his eyes adjust to the brightness just as quickly. It’s way to early to be awake; the sun isn’t even up yet. It’s too early, but then again, he can’t even recall when he had gotten to bed. He remembers being on the roof, being sick, and then taking a shower. The events are a little hazy, the timeline even more tentative, but at least he knows what he had been up to until now. Urbain knows where he is and who he is; he is, thankfully, not that lost.
His body feels heavy as his foot sinks into the plush carpet that adorns the room. He needs water; his throat feels like it’s cracking from how parched he is. He needs something in him that isn’t alcohol, a memo that Urbain from 4 hours ago had not gotten. Why did he do this to himself? He doesn’t even like alcohol! It tastes like shit and makes him feel like shit. But then Lida was handing him a drink and he was too polite to decline, and then he was laughing and—
Urbain blinks a few times in the darkness. He’s not sure if his eyes are playing tricks on him, but as he approached the worn-out armchairs in the corner of his room, those old chairs he had lugged in all those years ago when AZ had wanted to replace them with something a little nicer, he is certain of what he’s seeing: Harmony curled up on herself, her neck in a weird position as she snores softly into the green velvet. She’s pulled her jacket over herself as a makeshift blanket; she’s shifting again as Urbain slowly approaches her, afraid of startling her awake.
“Harms?”
Her name floats in the air as Urbain quietly crouches next to her. She’s pulling her jacket closer to her face, covering most of it; her knees have been pulled in again, her feet looking for fabric to cover them but failing to find anything. And as Urbain calls her name again, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, Harmony finally stirs awake. Her eyes flutter open, a sleep hum breaking from her lips; it would be a lie to say she doesn’t look adorable in this light.
“Harms?”
“What time is it?”
It’s 3 in the morning, almost 4, obviously way too early to be awake, but Urbain doesn’t mention that last part. He’s almost forgotten about the pounding in his skull, or the nauseating dryness of his throat; he’s far more preoccupied by Harmony jolting up, her head snapping left and right as she takes in her surroundings. She seems disoriented, more so than Urbain was when he first woke up in his bed. Her normally laser-sharp gray eyes seem hazy and distant; she looks like she has no idea where she is sitting at the moment.
“I’m—” Harmony’s voice comes out as a squeak, something fragile and on the verge of shattering. “I’m sorry! I didn’t—I just—Well… I didn’t want you to die so I thought I’d stay a little longer and I guess I just…”
Urbain shakes his head. Harmony doesn’t need to explain herself. It doesn’t really matter as to why she’s there; all that matters is that she looks sore from having fallen asleep on that on that old chair that Urbain knows is uncomfortable despite its deceivingly plush-looking velvet cushioning.
“Wanna take my bed?”
It’s Harmony’s turn to blink. She’s staring at Urbain like he’s just suggested robbing the Rust Syndicate or setting the Quasartico Inc. building on fire. She’s looking at him like he’s absolutely lost his mind, like he’s spewing absolute nonsense to her.
“I can just…”
She’s pointing at the door. Her hands are moving non-stop, that nervous tick Urbain has picked up on weeks ago. She’s fidgeting until she freezes completely; sure, she could easily go back to her own room, sink into her own mattress, the one that has probably taken to the shape of her body over the months she’s spent sleeping in it, but a reckless part of Urbain’s brain doesn’t let her leave. He’s acting foolish; he’s curling his fingers around Harmony’s outstretched hand.
“I really don’t mind. And…” Oh, oh now is not the time to get nervous; he started this nonsense, so he better stick to it. “If it makes you more comfortable, I can always take the chair. I just… I don’t want you waking up in a few hours with a weird pain.”
Harmony is shaking her head. She’s shaking it too fast, her hair whipping around and making Urbain ever so slightly nauseous. Thankfully, she’s slowing down. Thankfully, she’s stopping as her eyes fall onto his face, the slightest curve of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Bashful and beautiful. Harmony looks absolutely gorgeous with the moonlight gently illuminating her face.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m here to make sure you’re okay, not the other way around.” Her laughter is like shooting stars, mesmerizing and special. “It’s not my fault you decided to be an absolute idiot and get wasted and now I’m stuck making sure you don’t die!”
That’s more like it. There’s the Harmony Urbain knows and adores. There’s the girl that will take a jab at anything she possibly can. And Urbain deserves it. He was, after all, a complete idiot for drinking as much as he did. However, he’s not dropping this. He’s not letting her get all bent out of shape because he was stupid for one night.
“Harms.” Her cheek is warm as his finger grazes it, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Her fingers curl around Urbain’s, his hand not having moved away from hers yet. “Really, you can take the bed. I changed the sheets like two days ago if that’s what—”
“No! No, no. No, that’s not it! It’s just… I mean, it’s your bed. You should be the one sleeping in it. Not me.”
“But I don’t want you to be sore in the morning because of me.”
Harmony sighs as she pulls her hand back. The point of contact goes cold, leaving Urbain itching to reach back out to the girl, but thankfully he resists the urge to do so. He can’t go pushing his luck; he can’t afford to drive Harmony away.
She’s a little wobbly as she pushes herself out of the armchair. Urbain is back on his feet, taking a step back and watching her move through the room. She’s dragging her feet across the carpet; she’s pressing a knee into the soft mattress as she rearranges the pillows Urbain has tossed aside, preferring to use only one pillow for himself. He watches as she arranges them, splitting the mattress in half and creating a barrier right down the middle; he watches as she finally lets her body curl up under the covers, her head melting into a pillow she’s clinging onto.
Maybe he should just set up camp on the chair Harmony had been sleeping on. Maybe he should just let her take the bed; the last thing he wants to do is make the girl uncomfortable. Urbain can deal with a few hours on the armchair; it’s already dipped into the shape of his body from how often he finds himself sunken into it, looking over emails and other documents Vinnie has sent his way. He’s used to the ache in his lower back, or the constant pressure of that one spring that always finds a way to poke him in the exact same spot on his thigh. It wouldn’t be much different from all the other times he’s fallen asleep in this chair, but just as he’s lowering his body into the cushion, Harmony is sitting back up in bed. She’s rubbing her eyes, but still, her gaze is locked onto Urbain.
“Whatcha doin’?”
“Sit…ting?”
Harmony tilts her head and Urbain knows she’s annoyed by his answer. It was, in fact, the wrong answer; Urbain doesn’t have a good answer for her. Or he does, but also, if he voices it, he doesn’t want to end up arguing with the girl or driving her away. Harmony has been nothing but kind to him and he doesn’t want to send her on her way after everything she’s done for him. He wants her to be comfortable and rested by the time the sun comes up.
“But why?”
Something flips in Urbain’s stomach; it sinks in that Harmony is all bundled up in his bed. She’s sitting up, her head ever so slightly tilted to the side, her fingers curled around the fluffy duvet. She’s staring at him, waiting, expecting an answer. What answer could she possibly be waiting for?
“I mean… I just…”
“Your hangover is going to hate you even more if you don’t get your ass to bed asap.”
Pushy. Harmony is pushy. But then again, so is Urbain. He’s the one who insisted on giving her the bed. He’s the one who insisted on her staying her despite her room being only a few steps away. Urbain is the one who put himself in this situation; he might as well get a grip on himself and commit.
His heart is pounding as he pushes himself out of the chair. It’s racing; it’s making him ever so slightly nauseous. And as he finally makes it back to his bed, makes it back to where he was just a few minutes ago, the reality settles. He really hadn’t thought this through, but he’s here now. He’s here and he will not be anywhere else.
The mattress dips under his weight; has it always been this soft? Or is it just that it is not made to support the weight of two people? Urbain’s never had anyone other than himself on his mattress; even when all of Team MZ hangs out, it’s never in his room. But whatever. It can deal with a few hours of this. It can survive his weight and the weight of Harmony’s body curled up to his right.
Is she still curled up under the blanket? Is she comfortable? Surely, if she wasn’t she’d shift until she found a comfortable position. But then again, Urbain has no idea how Harmony sleeps; why would he? Why in the world would he know how Harmony sleep? Sure, they’ve fallen asleep on the couch downstairs while marathoning a show, but they never stay asleep very long and they both always wake up with weird aches. He has no idea how Harmony sleeps, how she arranges her pillows, or how she gets comfortable. She—
“Did you mean what you said?”
Urbain flips to his side. He’s staring at the pile of pillows Harmony has set up, the barrier that keeps him from her. He’s staring right at it; if he stares long enough, maybe he’ll see right through it. Maybe he’ll see the girl lying right next to him. And maybe he’ll have an answer for her.
“What?”
“Never mind then.”
Harmony’s voice is low and muffled, like she doesn’t want him to hear her. Except Urbain is not letting this go. He wants to know what she’s referring to. He wants to give her a truthful answer. He wants to know what’s going through that beautiful head of hers.
She really is curled up under the blanket. Her knees seem pressed against her chest as she stares at the wall. Her head is still sunken into the last pillow she’s kept, the only one that isn’t part of the wall Urbain has scaled, his elbows dipping deep into their fluff. And she seems so small there, curled around the pillow. She seems almost… fragile.
“Harms,” she shakes him off as his fingers graze her shoulder, “I… I have said so many things tonight. I need you to be more specific.”
“It’s nothing.” She doesn’t even look at him as she speaks. “Never mind.” Her voice wavers. “It’s not important.”
Clearly, it is important. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have brought it up at now 4 in the morning. If it wasn’t important, she would have waited until the morning, or just never brought it up. There is something that is bothering her and Urbain wants to get to the bottom of it. There’s something that’s bothering her, and as Urbain watches Harmony, watches the way she buries her face deeper into her pillow, watches the way she pulls it closer like her shoulders are about to start shaking, he can’t help but think of one single thing that might have her in such a state. He’s said a lot of stupid things in the last few hours, but one stands out more than the others. One thing personally involves Harmony, for better or for worse.
“Is this about the whole marriage thing? Because look, I—”
“I said it’s nothing.”
When’s the last time she’s snapped at him? When’s the last time he’s seen her snap at anyone, actually? Even when she’s annoyed, Harmony is not usually this blunt and cold. Never has her voice sent an icy chill down Urbain’s spine. Never has she had him worry about what might come next. But now, watching her remain perfectly still, staring at the wall opposite of her, Urbain is worried. He’s worried, but he knows better than to actually drop the subject. If he drops it, what comes next? Will there be a next time?
“And I was about to say that I don’t want to ruin what we have just because I can’t keep my feelings to myself.”
Harmony finally flips over. Her gray eyes seem puffy, though Urbain cannot tell if it’s from the fatigue if she had been silently crying into her pillow. If she was crying, he hates himself for that; he doesn’t want to be the reason Harmony is crying. He wants nothing more than her happiness. He wants her smiling and laughing and being her brightest, truest self. That’s what he adores about her; she’s everything he wishes he could be. He aspires to be as strong and brave and bright as her. He wants to be near her and every single one of her smiles.
The silence is awkward, to say the least. At least, while he was drunk out of his mind, Urbain could blame the alcohol. He had already messed up, it’s too late to back out of that, but now he’s doubled down on that mess. He’s basically blurted out to her that he is, in fact, truly in love with her. He’s confirmed to her that he did mean the things he has said, that he does adore her more than anyone in the world, and lying about that would only make everything so much worse. Lying about how he feels about her is far worse than fessing up. Lying would completely shatter whatever they had built until now, not that his confession is doing wonders to their friendship.
It’s been awhile since the last time Urbain has felt this tense. He doesn’t dare move; his eyes are still locked onto Harmony, Harmony who is still sunken deep into his mattress. He doesn’t dare make any sudden movements; he’s just waiting for the moment Harmony will push herself out of his bed and leave, because why would she stay? Why would she continue sharing a bed with someone who has just admitted being unable to keep the lines between friendship and romance unblurred? If he’s admitting such a thing, what else is Urbain going to say to her? How else is he going to ruin everything? Because he has ruined everything; if Harmony is asking him if he meant what he said, then it must be because she doesn’t feel the same way as him.
“Look,” Urbain flops back down onto his side of the bed, letting the mountain of pillows hide him away, “it was stupid and selfish of me to have put all of that on you. I should have kept it down—just like the alcohol—but it’s too late to dwell on that now, isn’t it? So yeah.” He needs to stop talking; he’s just digging his grave deeper, but he cannot stop. The words keep just coming out. “Yeah, I’ve had a crush on you since the day we met, but you know what? That doesn’t matter!” The corners of his eyes are burning and blurring. This is stupid and painful. “What matters is that you’re my very best friend and I’ve never had anyone like you before and—”
“You want to marry me.”
The answer is simple. It’s obvious. It’s stupid.
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Urbain.” Urbain’s eyes meet Harmony’s, Harmony who is looking down at him. She’s staring at him with this intense look in her eyes, a look he’s only ever seen her wear when she’s on the battlefield. She’s staring at him; he can’t help but avert his gaze. He’s staring at his wardrobe; Harmony’s hand finds his burning cheek, forcing him to look at her once more. “If you could, would you marry me? Yes or no?”
It’s an unfair question, and she knows it. She knows his answer, but it’s the wrong answer. It’s not the answer she wants to hear. It’s not something one is supposed to tell their friend. Because that’s what they are: friends. Urbain is Harmony’s friend and he cannot afford to lose this friendship because he couldn’t swallow his feelings down. Or maybe he swallowed them down too much and then it all came out at the most inopportune of times.
So he has his answer, it’s the wrong answer, but he cannot lie to her.
“I—"
Yes. He would marry her. He would marry her in a heartbeat. But instead, he’s ruining everything. He’s ruining a perfectly good friendship.
“Yeah. The answer is y—”
Urbain’s eyes grow wide before squeezing them shut. Maybe he’s still drunk. Maybe he’s dreaming. Maybe none of this is real. Except, it has to be real. It has to be real as his fingers tangle with Harmony’s hair, pulling her in once more as she breaks away from him. It has to be real as her soft lips meet his again. It has to be real as she leans down once more, carelessly tossing the pillow barrier away. Everything has to be real as a warm body presses against Urbain’s; everything has to be real as his head spins, the kiss suddenly deepened.
Nothing makes sense; Urbain is running on adrenaline alone. His brain is three steps behind his body’s movements; Harmony is flipped onto her back, melting into the mattress as she pulls him closer to her. She looks like an angel, her hair a halo against the pillow, her song divine as Urbain pulls at the soft skin of her neck. Fingers curl around each other; a palm is pressed down into the bed. Urbain should probably stop, pull away, talk about everything, but he can’t bring himself to put an end to it all. At least not until he has to break away from Harmony to catch his breath.
Urbain’s chest heaves. Harmony’s free arm is still hooked around his neck, ready to pull him down once more. Their noses are practically touching; they’re both staring at each other, probably wondering the same thing: what the hell was that? Slowly, carefully, Urbain releases his grip on Harmony’s hand; she, in turn, slowly moves her leg away from him, unhooking her foot from his calf. Neither one wants to move; both know they cannot stay like this. Someone has to say something.
“I—”
“Look—”
Silence once more. Then laughter. Genuine laughter. Awkward, but true. So much laughter as Urbain buries his face against Harmony’s shoulder. So much loud, obnoxious laughter as she wraps her arms around him. At this rate, they’re going to wake their friends, but Lida and Naveen are the last things on their minds right now. At least, they’re the last things on Urbain’s mind; nothing but Harmony and what just happened is spinning in his brain, a brain that feels like putty in his skull.
“Sorry, sorry.” His laughter finally calms; his cheek is pressed against her collarbone. “You first.”
“I was just gonna say…” Harmony’s arms tighten around Urbain as she buries her nose in his hair. “I can’t give you an answer for the marriage thing yet, but if you’re willing to take me out this weekend, then I can say yes to that.”
A smile is pressed to Harmony’s jaw. A smile and a kiss, and another kiss that pulls giggles from the girl, and another kiss that has her shoving Urbain back to his side of the bed. Urbain wants to do nothing but pepper her face in kisses; he wants nothing more than to press a kiss to every freckle that adorns her skin. He wants to make up for all the kisses he’s lost to his cowardice; he should have asked her out so much sooner.
“Harmony,” the smile won’t go away as he slips his fingers through hers again, “would you like to go out with me next Saturday? Let me take you out on a proper date? Just you and me?”
More giggles erupt from the girl who buries her face in her pillow. She’s nodding and laughing and she looks absolutely breathtakingly adorable. She’s beautiful and mesmerizing as she peeks out from plush shield; she’s even more gorgeous as she moves closer to him, pressing herself to his side for some cuddles.
“I would adore that.” A quick kiss is pressed to the corner of Urbain’s mouth; Harmony’s nose finds its home in the crook of his neck. “I would actually really, really like that. A lot. Would probably kill for that, actually.”
“How about,” he can’t help but press a kiss to her head, “you don’t kill anyone and I just plan something for us, huh?”
A hand muffles the laughter that spills from Urbain’s lips as Harmony shushes him. So she’s not a fan of the idea of him not letting her murder anyone, but then again, it might just be the last bits of alcohol mixed with pure exhaustion. The sun is peaking through the curtains, and they have barely gotten a wink of sleep. Did they really talk all night?
“And,” Harmony doesn’t resist as Urbain moves her hand away and flips onto his side to hold her against him, “how about we actually get some sleep?”
A yawn and a low hum are the last thing out of the girl. A yawn, a hum, and a soft kiss to whatever skin is right there. Those are the last sounds Urbain hears before pulling Harmony against his chest and letting his eyes fall shut. Those are the last things he remembers before drifting off to the faraway land of the sweetest of dreams. Well, maybe it’s actually not that far; his sweetest is, after all, still pressed against him, breathing softly into his t-shirt, when he finally opens his eyes a few hours later.
She should probably stop him. She probably should not let Urbain touch another glass, but he’s smiling so big and his cheeks are flushed this pretty pink color. She really should stop him, but Lida is mixing another drink, and who is Harmony to stop her friends from having fun? Because they are having fun; they’re laughing and sharing stories and being stupid. They’re having the time of their lives; Harmony doesn’t want to be the reason it all has to come to an end.
“No, I’m tellin’ you, t’was wild bein’ up there! Like, I didn’t even know if I was gonna survive the whole thing! Yeah, sure, I knew Floette was there to keep me safe, and I knew you guys weren’t gonna give up on me, but man…” Urbain sways a little as he giggles into his glass; Harmony really should take it away from him. “T’was rough. Kinda terrifyin’.”
His glass clinks against the table as he finally sets it down. It’s half-empty, the murky contents crashing against the polished glass. It looks like a storm in there, not that Harmony’s eyes linger much on what’s on the table; her gaze is drawn to the boy who is leaning his head against her shoulder, his weight pushing into her side. Her eyes are drawn to the deep blue of his; her cheeks feel warm as he smiles at her, though Harmony cannot tell if it’s because of the alcohol or because of something else.
“But anyway…” More pretty laughter; more skin set aflame. “I don’t wanna talk about that anymore…”
“Did you… wanna talk about something else?”
“Oh!” Harmony jumps at the sound of Lida’s voice booming through the still air of the night. “Navi! Navi! Wanna help me out with this new routine I’m working on?”
A groan reverberates through the night; Naveen is the only one who hasn’t been drinking. He’s always been a lot more responsible than the rest of Team MZ, or maybe it’s just that he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol, or the looseness that comes with the fading filters. He’s always been so on top of everything; he is vehemently refusing to leave his chair as Lida tugs on his arm, begging him to be her dance partner.
“Ask Starmie to help you! I’m not doing your stupid dance!”
“But Navi!” She elongates the final syllable of the nickname, causing Harmony to giggle at the pair. “It’s only gonna be fun if it’s you!”
“You’re insane.”
“And you’re no fun!” Lida leans closer to the boy, grinning maniacally. “But I can make you have fun!” She leans back, pulling on Naveen’s arm with all of the force she’s got in her uncharacteristically uncoordinated body. “C’mon, Navi!”
It’s a game of tug-of-war: Lida is tugging on Naveen’s arm as he grips the armrest of his chair. Something is going to break, but Harmony is too busy being giggly to really think of the consequences of everyone’s actions. Right now, all she can think about is how much she adores her friends.
“Hey, Harms?”
The girl hums as she continues watching her friends bicker over some routine Lida is going to nail despite being drunk out of her mind. Harmony’s not as present and attentive as she normally is; she kind of feels like she’s floating down a river, bobbing alongside wild creatures she doesn’t know the names of. Everything is a little hazy, including Urbain’s voice.
“You know… As soon as I can, I will marry you.”
She’s drowning. Harmony’s heart has stop and now she’s sinking to the bottom of the river. She’s staring at Urbain, Urbain with his big blue eyes, Urbain who has had her heart in shambles since the day they met, Urbain who knows nothing of how she feels. Unless he does? Is he teasing her? Making fun of her? No, he’s not that type of guy. He wouldn’t make a complete fool out of Harmony if he knew how she felt about him, right? Urbain is sweet, not cruel.
“I’m going to marry you so hard and—”
Just as quickly as the words leave his mouth, he’s pushing himself up and lurching over the armrest of the couch before puking out whatever little is in his stomach. Sobriety washes over Harmony as panic overwhelms her; she’s usually the one pushing herself to her limits until it all comes out, burning her throat and dignity. Her hand hesitates over his shoulder blade as she calls his name, worry coating every syllable.
“Hey…” Her hand finally settles on his arm, warm skin meeting one another. “Hey, take it easy…” Harmony refuses to let him sit back up, afraid of what might happen if he moves too quickly. “Did you eat today?”
“Yeah…?”
Yeah, that’s not very convincing.
“A reheated croissant for breakfast doesn’t count as having eating something, Urbain.”
The boy groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s a smart boy; he knows that he’s a light-weight, and that alcohol on an empty stomach is a dangerous game to play. He is, after all, the one who is usually telling Harmony to make sure she’s eating if she’s going to be getting drunk on the roof with Lida. He’s the one who is normally bringing snacks up for them to munch on and reminding them an obnoxious number of times that they need to also be drinking water. And yet here he is, drinking on an empty stomach.
“Hey, Urbain?”
Heat flares throughout Harmony’s face as Urbain lets his head drop onto her shoulder. His whole weight is once again pressed against her side, except this time, he’s not talking. His breathing is shallow and his eyes have fallen shut; maybe Harmony shouldn’t but she’s never been one to make the best decisions. She’s always been a mess when it comes to Urbain; soft hair slips right through her fingers as she nudges him again.
“Hey, Urbain? You still awake?”
He makes a sound, though Harmony isn’t sure if just him acknowledging that she’s talking to him or if he actually is awake. He doesn’t seem very awake, but then again, it might just be that he’s drunk out of his mind. Or that he feels like absolute shit because of all the alcohol that’s in his system. Because it would be impossible to sleep through the chaos that is Lida and Naveen; she’s somehow managed to pull him out from his chair and is swinging his arms around haphazardly, though Naveen is otherwise standing stoically still. And Harmony would adore joining the pair, but she’s a little stuck on the couch, Urbain suddenly snuggling closer to her.
“Hey…” He stirs as Harmony whispers low and slow, right by the shell of his ear. “How about we get you cleaned up and in bed?”
“Don’t wanna…”
“I promise you’ll thank me in the morning if we do.”
“But I don’t wanna go…”
It’s stupid. She’s stupid. Harmony is going to regret all of this in the morning. But maybe she’s also hazy from the alcohol. Maybe her guard is down too. Maybe her brain is completely shut off as she pushes a strand of hair out of Urbain’s face, revealing those gorgeous blue eyes of his. Maybe her brain has melted as she slips her fingers through his before giving his hand a squeeze.
“Please, Urbain? We can go together if you’d like?”
He blinks at her; his eyelids seem heavy, like he’s fighting to keep sleep at bay. He doesn’t seem keen on getting up, but as Harmony squeezes his hand again and begins pushing herself out from under him, he gives way. Urbain is staring at her as she stands before him, their hands still linked; he’s staring at her, his face flushed as she smiles at him.
“Well? Thoughts on calling it a night?”
There’s no resistance as Harmony pulls him off the couch. It would be cocky of her to say that he’s moving like he’s entranced by her, but he does follow her like a moth to a flame. He follows her, stumbling as Harmony throws her free hand up, waving good night to Lida and Naveen who have somehow ended up on the floor by the fire pit; thankfully, Naveen is keeping Lida away from the actual fire he’s started.
“I’ll be back later!”
Lida waves, an exaggerated movement that sways her body from side to side. Naveen, meanwhile, barely spares the girl a glance; he’s busy babysitting his drunken friend who is known for coming up with the worst ideas when her brain is a pile of mush in her skull.
“Don’t trip and fall and die because I’m not calling an ambulance.”
“Love you too, Navi!”
Harmony giggles as she tugs Urbain along with her. He gives his friends a little wave as well, a little gesture that seems more confused than confident; it’s almost as if he’s replicating what he’s seeing without knowing why he’s doing it. And he’s adorable as he waves before stumbling back into Harmony, her hand still in his. He’s way too cute as she presses his cheek to the cold metal of the hotel elevator, waiting for it to reach the second floor.
“How you feeling?”
“Like shit.”
That still checks out. It’s never fun after having puked out a stomach full of nothing but poorly mixed drinks. And given that it’s Urbain’s first time, it’s by far the worst time. The boy who always nurses at most one drink all night was downing them like they were tall glasses of fresh water. And the more he’d get into his system, the more he would talk. And while he’s always been very skilled at sharing stories, they’re almost never about him and how he feels about things; with so much alcohol in his system, he was spilling stories from his childhood to how utterly lost and useless he felt up in that tower of doom.
“We’re almost there.”
It’s honestly great that they drink up on the roof and not out at some bar. At least this way, they’re ridiculously close to home; getting to bed is easy-peasy! It’s a simple elevator ride away! And as Harmony tugs Urbain forward, enticing him to his room, she grows more and more grateful for how close everything is; she can’t even imagine what a mess this would have been had she had to drag him around the city.
The door of room 201 clicks open; they all stopped locking their doors after the first few weeks of living together. Urbain had been the most secretive of the bunch when it came to his room, but even he has given up on turning the key, especially when they’re all just going to the roof. And that is another thing Harmony is grateful for; thankfully, she doesn’t have to search his pocket for a key to get him to bed. Or even worse: settle him in her bed. She can just usher him into his room and sweettalk him into cleaning up a bit before crashing for the night.
“You’ll feel a whole lot better after you’ve cleaned your face and brushed your teeth. Maybe take a shower too?” Urbain doesn’t say anything; his movement seem mechanical as he makes his way to the center of the little room. “Well, regardless of what you do, at least go brush your teeth. And I’ll get you some water while you—”
A wildfire is set aflame under Harmony’s skin. The corners of her eyes burn as she dops her gaze to her feet; has Urbain forgotten that she’s there? Or does he just not care as he pulls his shirt over his head? Does Harmony’s presence mean nothing to him? Maybe everything he’s said tonight really did mean nothing to him; maybe Urbain can pull off his shirt and toss it into his dirty hamper because he only sees Harmony as a friend. Because she would never have the guts to do that around him; she’d be way too self-conscious about the whole ordeal!
“I’ll—” Harmony clears her throat, her voice having come out far too pitchy for her liking. “I’ll be back in a bit with some water, okay? So, take your time!”
Did she come off as stupid? She practically ran out of the room; Urbain didn’t even get a chance to respond, not that he’s exactly the most responsive at the moment. Wait, should she leave him alone? What if he’s sick again and chokes and dies? It would be all Harmony’s fault because she didn’t stop him earlier and now she’s left him all alone. Maybe she should head back in the room and make sure he lives; Urbain is capable of surviving a few minutes alone, right? She doesn’t have to baby him, right?
Harmony barely last 10 minutes. She tries to take her time in the kitchen, filling a water bottle and thoroughly searching for something to snack on, but her mind just keeps wandering back to what’s right above her head: Urbain. She’s not one to normally blush, but every time she catches herself drifting back to that moment, to those eyes, to that smile, Harmony can’t help the heat in her cheeks. She hates how often she goes back to him; she hates how desperately she wants to be close to him.
“Get a grip on yourself!” Her fingers tighten around the water bottle and bag of cookies she’s found in the pantry as she waits for the elevator. “He’s just a friend. Nothing more. He doesn’t think of you like that, you freak.”
Honestly, it’s the fact that she’s talking to herself in the middle of the night that makes her more of a freak than having a crush no her best friend. Harmony knows herself to easily fall in love; how many people before Urbain has she claimed to love only to have confused one feeling for another? How many friendships has she abandoned because of that confusion? Too many. She’s ruined too many good friendships for her to do it again with Urbain. She cannot ruin what she has with him just because it might be love. So she’s going to be his friend. She’s going to be the best friend she can be and nothing more.
“Urbain?”
Perhaps she should have knocked. This isn’t her room, after all. And yet, here she is, pushing the door open and calling out to the boy she cannot stop drifting back to. And as her eyes settle on him, she can’t help but smile at him; his hair is damp, droplets of water soaking through the collar of his old faded pyjama shirt. He seems a little more alert than before; his eyes fall onto Harmony as he mirrors her smile. He doesn’t seem as hazy as before his shower.
“I got you water and a snack if you want?”
She isn’t sure why she’s holding both things up to him; it’s not like Urbain can’t seem them in her hands when she’s holding them at her side. And yet, that little movement is enough to pull delicate laughter from Urbain; the room seems brighter as he smiles and pats the spot right net to him on the bed. Everything seems warmer and homelier as Harmony lets her body sink into the mattress and hands him the bag and bottle.
“Thanks.”
“I just filled a bottle with tap water. And grabbed a bag of cookies I think Lida forgot about.”
“I mean for earlier.” Urbain is so close that Harmony can smell the light floral scent of his soap on his skin. “For everything you’ve done.”
“It’s really the least I could do…”
Harmony is not one to normally feel so self-conscious. She’s normally so good at seeming cool in situations where she is anything but cool. But here, with Urbain’s head on her shoulder, Harmony can feel her heart pounding in her chest. She wonders if he can hear it too. Or if he can feel her quickening pulse as he takes her hand in his. How much of her secrets does this boy know?
“Harms? Did you know that you’re so pretty that sometimes, I wonder if I’m dreaming? Like, what if you’re not actually real? And I’m just dreaming of this pretty girl who is my absolute best friend in the whole wide world. But then…” Harmony needs to calm her heart; how can she do that as Urbain presses his lips to her knuckles? “You’re always there. And everyone else can see you. So you must be real.”
“Urbain…”
Her knows her secrets; he’s spilling his own. Harmony never would have expected him to lose all of his filters to a bit of alcohol; she had expected the shower to sober him up, and yet, here he is, telling her things he never would be telling her if he were sober. Urbain has always had his guards up so high; a couple of drinks in his system and suddenly, it seems like every wall he’s built has crumbled. Words are tumbling out of his mouth faster than Harmony can keep up with. He’s saying things she isn’t sure she can trust.
“And you know,” his voice has dropped down to a whisper, “that day we met,” his breath is warm against the back of Harmony’s ear, “when I first saw you,” her heart feels like it’s going to explode in her chest, “I just… Man, I just told myself ‘That’s the girl I’m gonna marry.’ Harms—” Why is he saying all of this now? Why is he saying all of this when she cannot trust him? “I swear, I’m gonna marry you. So damn hard.”
“Urbain.” This isn’t the time for this conversation. Harmony has to pull away, no matter how badly she wants him to keep saying everything she’s ever dreamed of. “You’re drunk. And talking nonsense.”
“No, I’m serious. Harmony,” his hands are so warm against her cheeks; his eyes are like sapphires, a color she cannot look away from, “I’m being so serious right now. You drive me completely insane. Crazy. Because you’re so pretty. And I’m so stupid for you all the time.”
It hurts Harmony’s heart to shake him off of her. It’s painful to back away from him, especially since she’s longed to hear these very words for so long. But she can’t take it much longer. She can’t let him keep saying things he won’t feel in the morning. She can’t let her heart shatter anymore. Urbain is sweet, not cruel; she can’t let herself fall for pretty little lies.
“If you’re that serious, then how about you tell me everything you’ve just said in the morning? When you’ll be sobered up and not talking nonsense?”
“I’m telling you, it’s not nonsense! I’m so serious right now!”
“Then tell me when you’ll be seriously sober.” It’s her turn to grab his face in her hands. “Tell me that you love me when you’re sober. And then I’ll give you my answer. But only once you’ve slept this off. That is,” her hands fall from his face, making their way back to her lap, “is you remember any of this in the morning. Tell me again tomorrow if you remember this conversation, alright?”
Big blue eyes follow her as she gets up from the bed; fingers tighten around her wrist, holding her in place. Urbain doesn’t need to speak; he’s pleading her to not leave. Harmony cannot stay; her heart cannot take it any longer. She cannot keep falling for those eyes; she can’t keep letting her heart be filled with false promises.
“Please, Harms. Stay.”
“You’ll be fine, I promise.”
“Don’t go. Please.”
She’s weak. She’s so stupidly weak as a sigh breaks from her lips. She’s stupid for nodding at him and letting the mattress cave under her weight again. She really should leave, go back to the roof or go to her room, but instead, she’s threading her fingers through Urbain’s hair again, falling for those pretty blue eyes for the thousandth time tonight.
“Fine. But promise me you’ll sleep. Otherwise, you’re going to feel even shittier in the morning.”
Urbain doesn’t argue; he lets himself fall back into his mattress, his head hitting the pillow. It’s not long before his eyes are falling shut and his breathing steadiest itself; maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s the exhaustion finally catching up to him, but he’s out cold in a matter of minutes. He’s drifted off to dreamland without a single protest; all it took was for Harmony to sit by him, playing with his hair and whispering softly that he is her best friend and that he’ll be better in the morning. It’s all it took for him let his body rest; it’s not long before she’s pushing herself off the mattress and making her way away from the bed.
hellooo! ive just launched my bigcartel and added team mz to my merch roster. these charms are on sale till the end of april.
all funds go towards my personal needs and college so i appreciate all kinds of engagement, tysm!!
https://cherubchiffon.bigcartel.com
hellooo! ive just launched my bigcartel and added team mz to my merch roster. these charms are on sale till the end of april.
all funds go towards my personal needs and college so i appreciate all kinds of engagement, tysm!!
https://cherubchiffon.bigcartel.com
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