Methods our system uses to better help internal and external communication between alters that can maybe also help you!
1: We call it the buddy method!! To do this you need to find an alter who is able to talk to most alters. Or someone who has free access to a lot of places in inner world that most headmates don’t. This can look like many things, but preferably a gatekeeper or a protector!! Us personally we even have an alter who’s role specifically is to send messages to other alters! Anywho, ask them to send a message to the chosen alter. For example:
“Could you tell *Name* to do the homework sometime today?”
Then proceed to let the alter communicate that to the alter you want the message to be sent to! Doing this can also help certain alters know when and how to do certain things. It sometimes can even get them in the habit of doing productive things, for example how I stated before, doing homework!
2: Therapy!! Now this may sound cliché but it is really important that you do therapy, more importantly, TRAUMA THERAPY. It is best to get a licensed therapist who specializes in dissociation and trauma. Doing EMDR, grounding, and coping skills was a huge life changer for us. Not only did we get to process suppressed trauma, but it allowed us to break down those amnesia walls to help our communication between alters.
3: Journals/Notes/Reminders. THESE ARE GAME CHANGERS!! OH MY GOD I LITERALLY CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Journals, notes, and reminders will literally save your life ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ !!
Putting reminders on your phone or sticky notes in places you can see helps so much!! Especially if you have really bad amnesia. It also helps to have a planner or a system journal where you can discuss certain topics between alters. For example, you write something down when you front, and the alter does the same! Make sure everytime you are aware you are fronting to check the journal to see if that headmate replied!! You can also use apps like simply plural!! Make sure to make the reminders very clear and specific. Sometimes when you just do simple reminders, the alter out may not know entirely what to do. For example: instead of saying “Do the dishes.” Try to say something like this, “Whoever sees this, please rinse the dishes and put them in the dish washer. After, unload the dishwasher and put them where they belong.” Doing this helps so much.
4: Trust what gatekeepers/protectors/caretakers tell you. Most of the time when these type of alters tell you to do something, listen, or remember to do, it is for a reason. Be open minded and allow your parts to guide and protect you.
Functional multiplicity is super important for us, and maybe it also is to other systems out there. Never feel afraid to want to be in control of your system. It’s hard to be in control, but it’s better get to know your parts rather than push them away. Communication is super helpful and can help you get to live the life/childhood you never got to live. I am so proud of you for getting this far. ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪
