Melostra's Journal

muri's WoW RP and OCs, art tag: muriart, wow tag: muriwow. TW for depression and suicidal ideation. 18+ NSFW

[wickedcircle]

Started to watch The Mighty Nein campaign and currently on episode 11

This will take forever but hopefully it's worth it

[shiximi]

Mighty Nein - Part 1 > Done for Critical Role and most recently featured in their 10th anniversary trading card collector's box.

[wrlain]

critical role artists are absolutely unreal. this is incredible

[forsakenwitchery]

Frumpkin | The Mighty Nein 1x05

[leoholzer]

I keep him safe so he can get better and stronger and achive great things. When I found him he was nothing. Just a scared little boy in the corner of an alley. The Mighty Nein 1.05: Little Spark

[melosjournal]

it hurts so much and all i want to do is call him and be comforted by him why did he derive us of each other? i dont understand. i genuinely dont

[melosjournal]

i dont know what to do

[melosjournal]

how do you recover from this sort of breadcrumbing and avoidant behaviour i just wanted to be wanted, i just wanted to be loved. i just wanted him to continue treating me like he always had all ive learned is that im not worthy of the effort, im not worth putting in the work, and i should never ever ask for what i need in a relationship because that means ill be deprived of it i hate myself

[melosjournal]

non stop rollercoaster i want to die

[melosjournal]

i love him so much and i miss him so bad i wish i never fell for him i wish i never let him come meet me i wish he fucking stayed home

[melosjournal]

its so cruel its so cruel. i want to lash out and be mean and angry i cant begin to explain how much it hurts having someone go from calling you baby and saying they love you and showering you with love and affection only to do a cold 180 having them withhold affection while generously giving all those things to everyone but you what the fuck. what the fuck im so angry

[melosjournal]

im gonna go insane

[melosjournal]

he felt safe with me and it feels like i ruined it completely by confessing my feelings. i felt safe with him and it feels like he abandoned me. theres no happy ending. we shouldve never closed the distance

[melosjournal]

i feel like a monster im hurting so deeply and i feel so cold and lonely, i feel like the person i love gave up on me, like i wasnt worth the effort and the work but then i remember how he said 2 years ago that he knew we would be friends forever, how he always wanted me in his life, and i feel like the most despicable piece of shit in the world. i walk in circles just thinking about the pain he might be in. i cant take it.

[melosjournal]

meeting someone you align so well with, mesh so well with, have good chemistry with, share interests with... and then not being together what a waste

[melosjournal]

i love him so much. im so deeply in love with him. two weeks ago we were in rome together, holding hands, kissing, he wore the ring and bracelet i got for him and it made me really happy and proud. less than two weeks since i could still smell his hair and touch his skin and kiss his face. less than two weeks since he cradled my face and said he'd always loved me. feels like ive watched a paper flower go up in flames. he was just here. now hes gone

[melosjournal]

he loves me, he wants me, he still has feelings for me, but he cant be with me. what is the point. genuinely. what is the point

[melosjournal]

i wish i could take it all back, i wish i didnt trust him and open up as much as i did. its humiliating. i hate being known. but he was so sweet i miss resting my head on his shoulder, i miss hugging him against my chest. whenever the plane would take off or land he would let me squeeze his hand and he would comfort me he'd litter my face in kisses he made me feel so loved i hope he never forgets me