Except probably not that many penes. Or memes.

This is where I funnel most of my tumblr-related snark.

[misogynistowner-deactivated2017]

[memesandpenes]

Oh, come on.

That bag was clearly asking for it.

[dashedlines]

If your man don’t want to lick it, I’ll volunteer as tribute

-- Childish Gambino   (via masochist--princess)

This subtly shifts from "annoying and awkward" to "awkward and kind of funny" if you pretend the guy is just making a Hunger Games reference.

Except then I guess he's kinda implying that going down on you is basically a death sentence? And also your boyfriend is his little sister for some reason? I dunno, as far as pickup lines go, it needs work.

[memesandpenes]

Why do necromancers always want to take over the world, or kill everyone, or something like that? Why can’t they just, I don’t know, relax and enjoy the simple things in life?

For that matter, if you do insist on becoming an evil emperor, why do it through violence? You have an endless supply of labor, for chrissake! They don’t need to eat, sleep, or go home, and the best thing idea you come up with is to give them swords and say to stab things?

Really?

I mean, not even one sneaker factory?

Pathetic.

[jaythegremlin-deactivated201501]

[englishbondage]

I wonder what’s happening just out of shot…

[memesandpenes]

Judging by the look on her face? About a dozen cats walking around, kicking up her allergies like crazy. It’s going to be one hell of a sneeze.

[memesandpenes]

Well, shit.

I guess now I know why people refer to masturbation as “self-abuse.”

[thepreggolover-deactivated20150]

[preggovictim-deactivated2020010]

A hipster preggo. She’s not a slut, she ironically spread her legs and got herself knocked up by god knows who. She’s so post- knowing who the daddy is. I wonder what kind of statement she’ll be making when she’s screaming as she tries to push that huge baby out.

[memesandpenes]

“For the last time, I’m not telling anyone the name! If I announce that, then sooner or later, people will have heard of it. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that would be?”

[inherplace-alt]

Red Button Flaw Exposes Major Vulnerability In Millions of Smart TVs

[memesandpenes]

It’s 9:30 p.m. on a Sunday in New York City. People in their apartments in the Inwood neighborhood of Manhattan have their air-conditioners blasting and don’t hear the slight whirr of the two drones hovering 35 stories in the air outside. They’re on the couch watching Family Guy, Duck Dynasty […]

[…] So a hacker could hijack a stream and insert a malicious app that can control the TV but claim it’s from Facebook. The attacker could then have the TV render Facebook’s home page in an invisible zero-sized frame, downloaded from the Internet. If the user was logged in to Facebook the hacker now has full control of a homeowner’s account.

This is a world where flying robots can take over your tv and use it to scam your friends or worse . Living in the future is weird.

[girl-fucked-by-monster]

[memesandpenes]

No! Bad Hodor! Bad! Get down!

[vanilladbts]

[memesandpenes]

I have an imp of the perverse when it comes to writing, so this is the kind of thing I’ll probably do one day. I expect it will be a fantastically bad idea.

Or then again, maybe not…

[rodgriguez]

[memesandpenes]

I know it looks like it would be easy, but trust me. Carnivals don’t make money by handing out prizes to everyone who plays. There’s got to be some kind of catch!

[potent-quoteables]

[memesandpenes]

On the right side of the path, so they can pass you?

Without farting even though you really have to?

In cold sweat, depending on the time and location?

Wondering what happened to the fourth guy?

Waiting for unprovoked harassment?

Resisting the urge to sing Nyan Cat to yourself as you are wont to do when alone?

Without scratching your butt even once?

While gesturing towards them to form a conga line behind you?

Wondering how the hell they got into your kitchen at 2am, how hard they’re judging you for grabbing yet another bag of Doritos, and vaguely concerned that they’re going to stick around for the rest of your Babylon Five marathon?

Okay, I give up. What’s this ad trying to sell me, exactly? Or have we simply entered an era of Dadaist fashionistas? 

[dirtychavbitch]

[memesandpenes]

rapedolls:

Hooker?

I don’t know, I’m not sure if she has the muscles for it. Maybe a Wing, or possibly a Fly Half…

[martinamutig]

[memesandpenes]

Is it wrong that my first reaction to this was “oh wow, it’s not even loose tea, gross!”?

Not sure if desensitized to degradation, really enthusiastic about tea, or just secretly English.

[thebrutalizer]

[memesandpenes]

And to think, anthropologists once actually believed that trepanning was practiced to treat medical conditions…

[distopia-coletiva-deactivated20]

[memesandpenes]

depravedeviancies:

Shouldn’t that be Virgin’s?

No, they are virgin tears. As in, tears which have not yet been sexually penetrated or done any penetrating. Look, have you even taken Organic Alchemy yet? What on earth would you even do with a virgin’s tears? I mean, unless they were a virgin’s virgin tears, but that would just be silly.

[inherplace-alt]

[memesandpenes]

That’s the kind of can-do spirit that’ll bring civilization back!

You say “zombie apocalypse,” the clever entrepreneur says “wage-free labor force.”

As long as you can stop them from turning around, what’s the harm?

[winterorbit-blog]

[memesandpenes]

Wearing a swan is amateur hour. You aren’t really anyone until you’ve worn a cephalopod.