The deal with S5 Memori is that John Murphy is a trauma survivor. His entire life, ever since his father died (age 10-ish), has been spent fighting for survival. first against his mother, then the other kids in lock up (he was 13-ish, imagine being 13 and in prison with a bunch of bigger, tougher criminals), then against everything the Earth threw at him. He spent every day of his life for 7 years fighting for survival. That changes you, it fucks you up a lot.Â
And he was alone until he met Emori. He hadnât had a single person really care about him since his father died. Then he met Emori and things got better for him. He needed her and she needed him just as much, and if some needs you, really needs you, they usually donât leave. But that didnât last.
Once heâd just gotten used to the constant fight on Earth, once heâd found Emori and had someone that cared for him, heâs taken up to the Ring and everything changes. Thereâs no wars, no fighting to survive, life is peaceful and he doesnât know how to handle it, so he starts to crack a little bit. But, he has Emori, so itâs okay.
Except Emori is making other friends, sheâs learning to rely on other people, she doesnât need Murphy as much now and he doesnât know how to handle that, because if she doesnât need him, sheâs going to leave him, because he doesnât think heâs worth sticking around. Now, see, Emori knows how to trust other people. She had Odan most of her life, she wasnât completely alone like Murphy. She obviously trusts people more easily because she trusted Alie about the chip whereas Murphy didnât because he doesnât know how to trust people, especially not people who donât need him. That coupled with his self worth issues means he wasnât going to be that great at making friends on the Ring.
But still, he did it. (According to Tasya) Murphy was Echoâs friend, she helped him through a lot and was âlike his therapist.â We obviously see Bellamy cares for him. He was the first to try Montyâs algae and then Monty carries him to safety, proving their relationship was good. And he and Raven seem to have made up. He made friends, had a family. Life was almost good. But it would be so much better when they could return to Earth.
Except that doesnât happen. They canât get back to Earth because they have no fuel. Theyâre fucked and Murphy canât stand it. Heâd been looking forward to getting back to the freedom of Earth since they got up to space. He isnât built for confined spaces, for floating metal boxes that come with rules and safety and not enough air. So he starts to come undone and he begins to push people away. This includes Emori.
However, unlike Bellamy who we see still makes an effort to care about Murphy, doesnât believe heâs beyond help, and is willing to offer that help (âSay youâre not worthless.â), Emori lets him push her away.
Pushing people away is something trauma survivors do constantly. People who get too close can hurt you, and people who donât need as much as you need them will leave you and that hurts. So we push people away so we donât get hurt. Murphy reverted back to that, to being scared and feeling trapped and going crazy because he didnât know how to survive if he wasnât free, if he didnât have to fight. (We know this because he fights Bellamy for seemingly no reason.)
Bellamy didnât let Murphy push him away, he kept trying, kept helping. Presumably so did the others, because their relationships werenât as fucked as Memori was at the beginning of S5. They divided up the task of taking care of Murphy, but itâs safe to say Emori never volunteered.
Now, I know she was hurt that he pushed her away, but Iâd imagine she learned a lot about him in those 5 years before he broke down, enough to know how much heâd gone through. She knew he was a trauma survivor, that he was broken, that he had PTSD (though she may not have known that was the term, but with as often as Grounders go to war, they must have known about it). She knew and she still abandoned Murphy.
Now, itâs not entirely her fault, itâs very hard to hold on to someone whoâs actively pushing you away, so she canât be blamed for leaving him. But she can be blamed for insulting him, belittling him, much like his mother probably did all his life. That shit hurts coming from someone you love. And she would have known about his mother. And she did it anyway.
Emori is not blameless, sheâs not an âuwu badass princess who did no wrongâ and Murphy isnât a âgross broken bastard who hurt said badass princess.âÂ
TLDR: If Bellamy, Monty, Echo, and Raven can still be civil with Murphy after his breakdown, then so could Emori. But she wasnât. She chose to continue hurting him because she couldnât handle her boyfriend being a trauma survivor. She wasnât ready to handle all of him, the ups and the downs. Sheâs only in it when heâs fighting, when heâs not falling apart, and that is not real love.