Memories of Love

Thien 2015-01-07 Amanda

[memoriesoflove14]

When Life brings you down...

Our distance has been going on for more than 9 months now. I moved from London end of June and never imagine it would be this long to get back there. Someday it feels very hopeless. In a dark room, I panic from the thought that I might never find anything. Thought running through my head until my head explodes...Not only is my head hurt from this, but also my confidence and hopes drops to a level under zero. I pray in silence for that chance, that luck to appear in my life so I can spend my eternity next to the love of my life and not having my career given up on. 

In silence I hear the water running in the forest in our garden. I open my eyes and see the girl room of mine, I feel like a kid, a kid with an adult mind that wants to be out of the cage. Im halfway there with finding the love of my life and planning our future together. Love is beautiful, but no one ever told you the stories behind the scenes. I look at people unmarried after full hands of fingers that counts up to the years of partnership, how do they live on like that? how can a commitment, or even a wedding that suppose to happen once it life not be happening to them? What does their parents think of that? 

And then i have my parents...The most important factor to keep me great a little easier. But at times, the oxygen level reduces. I suffocate and panic to the point i cry in floods... All because of generation differences that comes with different value thinking than people in my generation. My authors of my guideline of life is suddenly not practical and I’m feeling my brain hemisphere goes into directions. how do I compromise on this? or do i have to be selfish for once and do what ever that makes me happy? but what if what makes me happy is making them happy? 

Tonight, just for tonight i let my head swirl by itself and ill just focus on breathing the oxygen available.

[memoriesoflove14]

HUMAN-ART!

Amanda

[memoriesoflove14]

[memoriesoflove14]

1 yr

Today is one year since we went on our first date and also the first time we kissed. We done so much in a years time and went so far. I love you so much and im very thankful for meeting you and having you in my life ❤️

[memoriesoflove14]

[memoriesoflove14]

My teddy bear 🐻🐻

[memoriesoflove14]

💩💩💩

[memoriesoflove14]

11 month of good morning

Its been 11 months since i texted you, and also 9 months since we went out. I’m currently listening to No turning back by Claudia Kelly and it brings back all the memories of when we first met. i played this song in repeat in this cold winter time, all alone in my newly moved in room. this songs means a lot for me.  cause it was that song i heard in my head as a background music when i first saw you...

[memoriesoflove14]

Hahahah old times fart!

[memoriesoflove14]

My weekends in London

So this was the end of my Master and you have been my biggest support through this. There are too many selfish boyfriends out there that make their girlfriend get worse at their education but you have been the most understanding and encouraging boyfriend. So much love for you!! I had a terribly wonderful weekend where we first headed to big easy and had a great meal, we died. I wanted to go to jng but im actually more than happy that we never went, you were so right to not take me there. The cuddle of the night was way better 😊. Sunday was so fantastic starting off with chinatown and dimsum. Then we went to oxford street to kill some time before heading to the festival. It was such a wonderful weather to walk around. The moment we went into namco, we were so happy because of the clown machine but namco also got my lungs burning ! We aint gonna forgot that stupid woman saying that it was fake coupons!!! The sight of london was wonderful while heading back home. My last day at uni ended well and you came to pick me up. A surprise was planned which was a musical ive been longing to see!!! Argh i wont forget how scared i was to hope it was the musical tht was the surprise, in case it wasnt!!! The musical was great and we ended the night by eating turkish in the kitchen and some passionate and lovely 2 become 1. Last day was well productive. We headed down chinatown, had some good chicken claws and then to the dentist for babys check up. A hair cut was arranged and the result was nice☺️. Some jamacian food was served, oxtail yummy!!! And some shisha made us mad ddizzzzy and the night was rounded off with another lovely session of 2 become 1. My love for you grows stronger for each days and i cant wait to the day i announce to you that i will be waking up next to your fce everyday, i cant wait to blow away each other to new zealand ❤️❤️❤️

[memoriesoflove14]

You make me crazily happy. There is no one else on this earth that can replace your space in my heart. I love you more and more for each days ❤️

[memoriesoflove14]

[memoriesoflove14]

[memoriesoflove14]

7115

Tonight im spending my time thinking about our beautiful memories we been through together. Words cannot described how happy I have been in the past 7 months or ever since you appeared in my life. I have been on my worst behavior, but still, You showed me unconditional love as you said you would. My family issue in spring putted me through one of the hardest time kn my life, and having the intense studying beside made it even tougher but You have been by my side through thick and thin as you promised. Even though I cry from time to time, You still have put countless smiles on my face, joy in my soul and happiness in my heart. All the promises under the eiffeltower wasnt only words. And all the words in out conversation at the beginning, wasnt only words and games. You were actually geniuine. You have so far proven me them all. I never regret choosing you. If i could turn back time, i would still choose you over and over again, cause with you I feel like im the luckiest girl ever ☺️ I may not be perfect and I have my terrible sides too, which I still punish myself for the bad unacceptable behavior. I will try my best to be the greatest girl you ever had. You are my biggest comfort in this world, my best friend. I love you muchachas! ❤️

[memoriesoflove14]

[memoriesoflove14]

Random night, random thought

Tonight i have the man who sang through my whole life in te headphone. He sings deeply into my heart, makes me catch a breath and think of whats been and what will be. Its been more than 8 months of seeing your face everyday, we are soon hitting the nineth month. Recently i felt we been grown stronger. From this experience, i would say meeting parents are indeed a big step. It takes you to a whole different level of the relationship, which let you stand naked right infront of him, you let him see the inspirating idol of your life, let him breath your childhood air and feel the home you call home. This is something so meaningful that only a few, or if you are extremely lucky, only one will experience. I choosed you to be the lucky one. I dont feel that we are just any couple out there, you are indeed my best friend, my only soulmate and love of my life ❤️

[memoriesoflove14]

Nervous and stressed

Exactly what I expected, but a little bit more intense… Im longing for having you next to me, letting you in to have a deeper look at my life here, my life in this house i grown up in. My nursery school, my playground i used to fight kids at, my secondary school where I fought myself through and ended with good grades, the work place I worked for several years but most importantly, meeting the precious people in my life, such as family and friends and also former workers.

Im scared for life, not because im unsure , im not. Im sure as hell, thats why im scared. Scared that my sureness wont be agreeable with the rest of the people that has an influence on me. I tell myself that i would never do this again. I truely hope, you would be the first and the last i have to go through this with.