[mentalisttraceur]

Profoundly inhuman how modern jobs never stop -- an endless conveyor belt of new tasks. We're meant for seasons and cycles -- bursts and lulls.

[mentalisttraceur]

Honestly? Now that I've laid down enough foundation to reliably feel that I can and will be fully happy and fulfilled even if don't have this or that person in my life, I'm starting to come around to jealousy -- and anger from jealousy -- as wonderful and healthy emotional tools for checking and resetting out-of-balance priorities.

To be clear, most typical behaviors from jealousy are still bad. Valid options are

honestly, non-manipulatively, and non-coercively communicating; and

setting ethically sound boundaries.

But if you can keep your use of those emotions healthy, it turns out they are beautiful, clear signals of over-extension. They're telling you that you're investing at a level that you'd only be happy with if you got more.

And from that lens, it suddenly makes sense why so many people react to jealousy and its anger with accommodation rather than disgusted rejection. Because before words even existed, evolution was using jealousy as a direct chimp-level signal that the other party is willing to walk away if not accommodated.

[mentalisttraceur]

If any of you could do me a favor and just buy from something other than Amazon the next time that you have the opportunity, I'd super appreciate that.

They just inconvenienced me with the typical paternalistic "for your own protection" global account hold because I was trying to buy a gift for a friend in the UK.

This would've been fine if the issue was resolved quickly, but it's now hours after I submitted the required documentation, and it's looking like they won't get to it until tomorrow. By the time this is resolved, the item will have been delayed by a day or more. And in the meantime, I cannot make any Amazon purchases in the US either.

Ridiculous that any of these companies feel like it's remotely acceptable to block your transactions and yet not have a 24/7 team ready to verify documents for account holds.

Customer support lines are of course completely useless. Both the US and the UK lines you have to fight the IVR to force a human escalation. The US at least had someone -- I escalated one supervisor up, if I had time maybe I'd keep trying to escalate, but as is I just got them to record my complaint. The UK line just dropped me with "our phone lines are currently closed" once I forced the human fallback.

Obviously the only way a business improves things is if it feels enough cost for its misbehavior. This is my little contribution in this case. I'll do more when I have time. And if you feel as I feel, if you have the time and the drive, maybe also let them know. For example:

"I am buying from another vendor instead of Amazon today because someone I know had a worse outcome thanks to Amazon UK not reviewing their account hold verification documentation in a timely manner."

And hey, hit me up if you did this. I'll return the favor if a company wrongs you some day. I am willing and able to get on customer support calls and push. Maybe we can even get some kind of long-term collective group going.

[mentalisttraceur]

On the upside.

"Where there's a will, there's a way."

If these past few weeks have taught me anything, it's that I have will enough to create the way.

[mentalisttraceur]

I need Missions. Real shit. With lives at stake.

That Motivates me. That brings out the best in me. I become someone who impresses even me, and no one impresses me. No one.

I put myself into situations. I take risks that most never would -- and I fucking win. I force the world to do better.

And I do it for causes that look like actually helping real people in dire need rather than the interests of power (whether government or organized crime).

Then I sit at a desk and stare at software. I mentor, do code reviews. I help define how we break down work into dev tasks. It's a living.

But I'm only Alive when I'm bending the world to yield for a life that needs the help.

[mentalisttraceur]

if i had to pick someone to handle a situation where my life depends on it, youd be my top choice

[asked 2026-05-05]

This was reinforcing at the time you sent it, but I was like "let's see if we actually save her before you give me the credit".

That still holds. But we've finally gotten far enough along that I don't mind publicly wearing this compliment.

[mentalisttraceur]

Don't ever give up.

Thank you.

Really needed this one these past few days, and will need it more through this next week or two.

Nothing to do with the unhinged anon earlier.

Bigger, actually important things afoot. Maybe I'll share more some day, when the dust settles.

For now, just know, if you're still here, that this gives me strength in a time when someone's life might depend on it.

[mentalisttraceur]

I'm always rooting for you.

Thank you anon. I know. I remember.

[asked 2026-02-10 -- I was holding onto this series of Asks for when I or this blog needed the positivity.]

[mentalisttraceur]

Thank god that Tumblr lets us block and report the senders of anon asks now.

I asked for that feature some time ago, probably a bunch of people did, and they actually added it at some point!

Genuinely grateful @staff

[mentalisttraceur]

Maybe the only thing thay would save you is chemical castration so that you aren't being led by your dick all the time.

Today I learned some people need to hear the following PSA:

It is never okay to send your ex, let alone someone who you only talked with over DMs/texts (that's not yet a Relationship, btw), suggestions that they be better off chemically castrated.

That's what normal people would call fucking freak territory.

[mentalisttraceur]

I think if I were god and I wanted to edit a poly or open person to be monogamous, I would start with ....

The Anons want me so bad that they've started fantasizing about being god to make us exclusive.

[mentalisttraceur]

Sometime one anon and other anons are the same anon.

Also, Hi! Variables Anon!

-Hi!

[asked 2023-03-01]

(Popping this one out from inbox to blog for the historical record linking the two.)

[mentalisttraceur]

It's unfair to the anons that there are so many anons and so little time in the world.

Also, hi

[Asked on 2024-05-16]

"so many anons so little time" has been on my mind lately. (Like 20 Asks in 3 months.)

All shall be answered in due time.

[mentalisttraceur]

Do you feel fufilled living the life that you're living?

Increasingly so. The trendline is towards more fulfillment. But I think my recent Posting spree is a symptom of some kind of under-fulfillment.

The past 3-4 years have been more about healing and improving myself and my tools and gradually building out from there, but now I'm re-adapting to full-time work and there's definitely some under-fulfillment due to how much that costs me one way or another (either I make fulfilling progress on personal goals and look bad/underdeliver at work, or I get enough work done but then my personal goals just sit with nowhere near the progress I can envision).

Whatever. On average it's progress, and there's still moves to make.

[rootingformephistopheles]

I feel it would be good to have a word that's like not ragebait but shamebait, where you can read a post and just go 'ah, this person just wants me to feel ashamed of myself and is not engaging with the issue in a constructive or useful way. I do not have to participate in this actually' and like. move on with your day

[mentalisttraceur]

We should absolutely generalize this concept to anything that is particularly good at invoking shame. Doesn't have to be intentional. Lots of stuff out there propped up by getting people to feel shame.

[mentalisttraceur]

Oh. Oh of course.

The war on Iran will officially end "on schedule", unless Iran does something so severe that it ignites popular support among Americans for escalating.

It will "end" because Trump will just leave, with the war unended if he has to. Iran will be left standing there bewildered, full of stab wounds but still holding its own knife, as Trump just walks away talking about how they won.

The base will believe him.

Iran will be like "lol what? no! ...hello?" Trump will ignore this. Iran will stab someone nearby, probably Israel. Trump will wag his finger about how Iran just got schooled, it would be a shame if the US had to go in again.

Iran will gesture at Hormuz, like "you- you remember I still control this? The ships still aren't getting through unless they pay us."

Trump will ignore this and attack Cuba.

[mentalisttraceur]

There but for the grace of god my ability to wear the problem go I.