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Lingering Bleus

I've been sleeping with the sapphire comforter your mother gave to you when we moved into 809 on 7th. The navy one that you insisted was yours while I used it as a shell to hide my depression. The deep cerulean that's always losing its plume and no matter how many times it gets washed...will always have that tinge of you lingering in the stitching. Nostalgia of the manipulative blues you used to put out my light. I now resent bleu, and yes that means you too.

merelymac

I do not love you, my dear. Not like I thought I did, I do fear. It began like this Felt I had lost it all Continued to watch it crumble and fall. I clung to you Lost a part of me, needed you. Scared to be alone, feinen you, but I was miserable. Oh how terrible When you lose yourself so damn deeply Man why am I so sleepy Used to go out to shows Hike, take drives on forest roads. Never cared for anyone’s opinion Yeah my fire, far from kindlin But by the time you found me, I was too far gone. An empty shell, just coasting along. You told me I was wrong, That I was right, weak and strong. Your ego, your jealousy, It took control of me Everything, it was all so contradictory How could I have been so weak Too blind to see The signs, yeah they were right in front of me. You were so monstrous When your grip cut the air. Knees limp, eyes rolled, unconscious. It was never fair Said there was only one way to end a fight Yeah I’m sad to say To have died that night, It would have been alright. I do not love you.

merelymac

I wrote this to you. And yet I stayed.