Merlin

[merlindefender]

Arthur: Thank you all for coming.

Leon: Of course, sire.

Arthur: and thank you for coming Merlin even though I told you more than once not to.

Merlin: You're most certainly welcome.

[merlindefender]

Gwaine: What are we gonna do?!

Merlin: Blame you.

[merlindefender]

Merlin: Heyyy, you love me no matter what, right?

Arthur, sighing: What did you do now?

[merlindefender]

Merlin: What goes up but never goes down?

Arthur: I don't know.

Merlin: Come on, guess.

Arthur: Fine. The amount of stress you bring to Camelot.

Merlin: ....

Merlin: Well damn.

[merlindefender]

Arthur: Stay here, Merlin.

Merlin: Have you met me? Listening isn't my thing.

Arthur: And getting in trouble is?

Merlin: Pretty much.

[merlindefender]

Arthur: Merlin has a point.

Merlin: Don't agree with me. It makes me uncomfortable.

[merlindefender]

Lancelot: Merlin, how many scars do you have?

Merlin: I'm not sure. I don't keep track.

Arthur: Thirty.

Lancelot: ....

Merlin: ....

[merlindefender]

Merlin: The person I fancy isn't picking up on my hints

Lancelot: What hints have you given them?

Merlin: Well, I think about them a lot

Merlin: And sometimes I even think about talking to them

[merlindefender]

Arthur: How the hell did you break your leg??

Merlin: Do you see those porch stairs?

Arthur: Yes, why?

Merlin: I didn't.

[merlindefender]

Gwaine: You look tired.

Merlin: If one more person tells me I look tired, they're gonna look like they got punched.

Gwaine: Understandable. Have a nice day.

[merlindefender]

Merlin: Any plans for tonight, Leon?

Leon: No.

Merlin: Loser.

[merlindefender]

Arthur: You got a better idea how to do it? I'm totally open.

Merlin: Didn't say that. Just pointing out that this one sucks.

[merlindefender]

Arthur: You ever replay a conversation in your head, and realized you sounded like an idiot?

Merlin: Have you met me?

Arthur: ....

Arthur: Fair point.

[merlindefender]

Arthur: You know, sometimes I don't think you take me seriously.

Merlin: Seriously? There's times you think I do?

[merlindefender]

Merlin: I hope I die brutally in front of you with no way to stop it, so that it haunts you for the rest of your life.

Gwaine: I'm sorry I ate your food! My god!

[merlindefender]

Merlin: I'm going to tell you something cause I really think you need to hear it.

Arthur: Ok..?

Merlin: You're incredibly stupid.

Arthur: ....

[merlindefender]

Arthur: Your problem is that you've got no common sense!

Merlin: I have plenty of common sense!

Merlin: I just choose to ignore it.