YOU ONLY WANT ME FOR MY BABY SENSORY VIDEOS

They/Xe/It

[messengerofsteel]

I fucking hate this time period all the mortals and peasants throw morsels of bread and small pebbles at me and should “go unholy wench go”

[just-some-normal-jessica-deacti]

a will

everyone's feeling normal and well-adjusted about the hiatus being over don't we

[messengerofsteel]

*an offering of just. a shiny rock.*

GIMME COCOMELON

…tempting but no

[messengerofsteel]

GIVE US TBE FUCKING DANCING FRUITS

NO

[messengerofsteel]

*offering of... mario kart*

ay now this is sick

[messengerofsteel]

YES.

NEVER

[messengerofsteel]

cocoa melon

materwelon

[messengerofsteel]

WE CRAVE THE DANCING FRUITS, O DIVINE ONE

NO

[messengerofsteel]

WE DEMAND THE BABY SENSORY VIDEOS

NEVER

[messengerofsteel]

BABY. SENSORY. VIDEOS.

NO

[messengerofsteel]

BABY SENSORY VIDEOS NOW

where the HELL did you COME FROM

[messengerofsteel]

Oi! Show me the backyard a gan show!

NO

[messengerofsteel]

Does anything come from Latreia and Gwendlyn dating?

I dunnoooooo :3

[messengerofsteel]

*A grackle is staring at them.*

BIRD BOY!!!!

*They run over to the bird.*

HAIIIII

[augury-god-of-torment]

*It flies a few feet before landing and staring at them again. It seems it wants them to follow it.*

[messengerofsteel]

*It followed happily.*

oh FUCK yeah

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Angry yelling can be heard in the distance, as it keeps leading them towards said yelling.*

[messengerofsteel]

???????

*It continued to follow.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Augury can be seen stuck in some type of wooden trap. The grackle lands on top of it.*

[messengerofsteel]

WH

*Xe burst into laughter.*

WHAT THE FUCK?????

[augury-god-of-torment]

SHUT UP AND HELP.

[messengerofsteel]

Ohhh, man, I’d really love to! I would! Buuuutttt…… This is a pretty amusing sight, don’t ya think?

*It teased, almost in a sibling-like manner.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

I WILL HAVE MY HAWKS AND OWLS AND EAGLES TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB IF YOU DO NOT HELP.

[messengerofsteel]

Can birds tear through metal? Genuine question here. I don’t think so? Also I could like throw worms at them or play something to scare them away

[augury-god-of-torment]

FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT.

[messengerofsteel]

That’s like my motto :3

Cmoooonnn, you gotta admit it’s funny. Did you fall for the bread again? You fell for the bread again didn’t you

[augury-god-of-torment]

*A pause.*

THAT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

[messengerofsteel]

*They burst out laughing once more, the mechanical sound filling the air.*

Ohhh man! Jesus, really? Ahhh, okay, okay, how do I get this thing open…

*They kept laughing as they looked for a way to free Augury.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

SHUSH.

*There are a few holes in it that seem like they aren't supposed to be there, and many scratch marks on the inside. There doesn't seem to be any easy way to get it open.*

[messengerofsteel]

fuckin hell

*They summoned an intricate, golden sword and began trying to cut through.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Jesus fucking christ what type of wood is this. It is incredibly hard to cut.*

[messengerofsteel]

WHO THE SHIT MADE THIS

[augury-god-of-torment]

SOME MORTAL I DON'T KNOW.

[messengerofsteel]

CAN YOU FIND THEM AND FUCKING SMITE THEM WHEN I GET YOU OUT

*They kept trying to cut through the wood.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

. I WOULD RATHER NOT.

*It is very slowly giving way.*

[messengerofsteel]

WHY NOTTTT

*They kept cutting at it.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

I WOULD RATHER SMITE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO WON'T STOP SENDING MORTALS AFTER ME FOR A FUCKING BIRD.

[messengerofsteel]

THATS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?!

[augury-god-of-torment]

YEAH.

[messengerofsteel]

for FUCKS SAKEEEE

[augury-god-of-torment]

I SWEAR I AM GOING TO KILL HYMN.

[messengerofsteel]

PLEASE DO.

*They summon an axe and start using it instead of the sword.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*That seems to work a lot better than the sword. They stay clear of it, just in case.*

[messengerofsteel]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*They kept whacking at it until it broke.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*They climb out as soon as it's broken, and the grackle from before lands on their shoulder.*

Thank you.

[messengerofsteel]

hhhhhhhhhYOURE WELCOME

*Their fans were whirring loudly, and they seemed exhausted.*

what the HELL was that thing MADE OF

[augury-god-of-torment]

Some sort of wood, I'd assume.

[messengerofsteel]

strongest goddamn wood I’ve ever seen

[augury-god-of-torment]

Hm.

Whatever it was

Does not matter.

[messengerofsteel]

ANNOYING AS HELL THOUGH

[augury-god-of-torment]

Well,

I assume you may have somewhere else to be?

[messengerofsteel]

errmmmm

*They think, fans still whirring.*

let’s be real people think I’m a FREAK i don’t have much going on

[messengerofsteel]

You can see the future right? Can you tell me about any future god conflicts that may happen?

…i no no wanna

[messengerofsteel]

*A grackle is staring at them.*

BIRD BOY!!!!

*They run over to the bird.*

HAIIIII

[augury-god-of-torment]

*It flies a few feet before landing and staring at them again. It seems it wants them to follow it.*

[messengerofsteel]

*It followed happily.*

oh FUCK yeah

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Angry yelling can be heard in the distance, as it keeps leading them towards said yelling.*

[messengerofsteel]

???????

*It continued to follow.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Augury can be seen stuck in some type of wooden trap. The grackle lands on top of it.*

[messengerofsteel]

WH

*Xe burst into laughter.*

WHAT THE FUCK?????

[augury-god-of-torment]

SHUT UP AND HELP.

[messengerofsteel]

Ohhh, man, I’d really love to! I would! Buuuutttt…… This is a pretty amusing sight, don’t ya think?

*It teased, almost in a sibling-like manner.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

I WILL HAVE MY HAWKS AND OWLS AND EAGLES TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB IF YOU DO NOT HELP.

[messengerofsteel]

Can birds tear through metal? Genuine question here. I don’t think so? Also I could like throw worms at them or play something to scare them away

[augury-god-of-torment]

FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT.

[messengerofsteel]

That’s like my motto :3

Cmoooonnn, you gotta admit it’s funny. Did you fall for the bread again? You fell for the bread again didn’t you

[augury-god-of-torment]

*A pause.*

THAT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

[messengerofsteel]

*They burst out laughing once more, the mechanical sound filling the air.*

Ohhh man! Jesus, really? Ahhh, okay, okay, how do I get this thing open…

*They kept laughing as they looked for a way to free Augury.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

SHUSH.

*There are a few holes in it that seem like they aren't supposed to be there, and many scratch marks on the inside. There doesn't seem to be any easy way to get it open.*

[messengerofsteel]

fuckin hell

*They summoned an intricate, golden sword and began trying to cut through.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Jesus fucking christ what type of wood is this. It is incredibly hard to cut.*

[messengerofsteel]

WHO THE SHIT MADE THIS

[augury-god-of-torment]

SOME MORTAL I DON'T KNOW.

[messengerofsteel]

CAN YOU FIND THEM AND FUCKING SMITE THEM WHEN I GET YOU OUT

*They kept trying to cut through the wood.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

. I WOULD RATHER NOT.

*It is very slowly giving way.*

[messengerofsteel]

WHY NOTTTT

*They kept cutting at it.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

I WOULD RATHER SMITE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO WON'T STOP SENDING MORTALS AFTER ME FOR A FUCKING BIRD.

[messengerofsteel]

THATS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?!

[augury-god-of-torment]

YEAH.

[messengerofsteel]

for FUCKS SAKEEEE

[augury-god-of-torment]

I SWEAR I AM GOING TO KILL HYMN.

[messengerofsteel]

PLEASE DO.

*They summon an axe and start using it instead of the sword.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*That seems to work a lot better than the sword. They stay clear of it, just in case.*

[messengerofsteel]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*They kept whacking at it until it broke.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*They climb out as soon as it's broken, and the grackle from before lands on their shoulder.*

Thank you.

[messengerofsteel]

hhhhhhhhhYOURE WELCOME

*Their fans were whirring loudly, and they seemed exhausted.*

what the HELL was that thing MADE OF

[augury-god-of-torment]

Some sort of wood, I'd assume.

[messengerofsteel]

strongest goddamn wood I’ve ever seen

[augury-god-of-torment]

Hm.

Whatever it was

Does not matter.

[messengerofsteel]

ANNOYING AS HELL THOUGH

[messengerofsteel]

*A grackle is staring at them.*

BIRD BOY!!!!

*They run over to the bird.*

HAIIIII

[augury-god-of-torment]

*It flies a few feet before landing and staring at them again. It seems it wants them to follow it.*

[messengerofsteel]

*It followed happily.*

oh FUCK yeah

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Angry yelling can be heard in the distance, as it keeps leading them towards said yelling.*

[messengerofsteel]

???????

*It continued to follow.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Augury can be seen stuck in some type of wooden trap. The grackle lands on top of it.*

[messengerofsteel]

WH

*Xe burst into laughter.*

WHAT THE FUCK?????

[augury-god-of-torment]

SHUT UP AND HELP.

[messengerofsteel]

Ohhh, man, I’d really love to! I would! Buuuutttt…… This is a pretty amusing sight, don’t ya think?

*It teased, almost in a sibling-like manner.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

I WILL HAVE MY HAWKS AND OWLS AND EAGLES TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB IF YOU DO NOT HELP.

[messengerofsteel]

Can birds tear through metal? Genuine question here. I don’t think so? Also I could like throw worms at them or play something to scare them away

[augury-god-of-torment]

FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT.

[messengerofsteel]

That’s like my motto :3

Cmoooonnn, you gotta admit it’s funny. Did you fall for the bread again? You fell for the bread again didn’t you

[augury-god-of-torment]

*A pause.*

THAT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

[messengerofsteel]

*They burst out laughing once more, the mechanical sound filling the air.*

Ohhh man! Jesus, really? Ahhh, okay, okay, how do I get this thing open…

*They kept laughing as they looked for a way to free Augury.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

SHUSH.

*There are a few holes in it that seem like they aren't supposed to be there, and many scratch marks on the inside. There doesn't seem to be any easy way to get it open.*

[messengerofsteel]

fuckin hell

*They summoned an intricate, golden sword and began trying to cut through.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*Jesus fucking christ what type of wood is this. It is incredibly hard to cut.*

[messengerofsteel]

WHO THE SHIT MADE THIS

[augury-god-of-torment]

SOME MORTAL I DON'T KNOW.

[messengerofsteel]

CAN YOU FIND THEM AND FUCKING SMITE THEM WHEN I GET YOU OUT

*They kept trying to cut through the wood.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

. I WOULD RATHER NOT.

*It is very slowly giving way.*

[messengerofsteel]

WHY NOTTTT

*They kept cutting at it.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

I WOULD RATHER SMITE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO WON'T STOP SENDING MORTALS AFTER ME FOR A FUCKING BIRD.

[messengerofsteel]

THATS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?!

[augury-god-of-torment]

YEAH.

[messengerofsteel]

for FUCKS SAKEEEE

[augury-god-of-torment]

I SWEAR I AM GOING TO KILL HYMN.

[messengerofsteel]

PLEASE DO.

*They summon an axe and start using it instead of the sword.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*That seems to work a lot better than the sword. They stay clear of it, just in case.*

[messengerofsteel]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*They kept whacking at it until it broke.*

[augury-god-of-torment]

*They climb out as soon as it's broken, and the grackle from before lands on their shoulder.*

Thank you.

[messengerofsteel]

hhhhhhhhhYOURE WELCOME

*Their fans were whirring loudly, and they seemed exhausted.*

what the HELL was that thing MADE OF

[augury-god-of-torment]

Some sort of wood, I'd assume.

[messengerofsteel]

strongest goddamn wood I’ve ever seen