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@metaphoricaugustus
//hey guys! i know i haven't been on in a bit but that was because i got super busy with life and now that things are slowing down a little more, i'm finally back to Gus. i also know i owe a lot of people replies so i promise i'm going to get to them all soon
Grace slowly looked down at the boy’s hand, softly slipping hers into his. She took note of how tiny and skinny hers were compared to his. She slowly looked back up at him, giving his hand a gently squeeze.
She kept a smile presented on her face, liking the way the boy spoke to her, and the way he smiled. It made her almost forget they were sick at all. “No it does not, wish it did.” She spoke softly to him, taking a large breath to steady herself. “Pleasure’s all mine, Augustus.Waters.”
Gus returned the small squeeze and shake of her hand (though his was a bit firmer) before letting his grasp go and letting the fallen hand follow the other into his pocket. He was nodding at her reply (he wished cancer would buzz off too) when he noticed Grace taking a deep breath between sentences that to someone whose lungs didn't suck at being lungs, didn't seem all that difficult to get out.
"Do you need to sit down, Grace?" It wasn't exactly Gus' first experience with someone who suffered from crap lungs and he knew it could take a toll on them.
*pins you against the wall and kisses you* ((Pass it on to the first ten on your dash))
"Grace, hey-"
"Well hello to you too."
"What was that for?"
"Because you’re cute. That’s why."
"Well, thank you. We might not want to mention that to Hazel Grace though."
"Lenore. As in ‘Quoth the Raven nevermore.’ But one on one therapy kinda sucks more. Especially with a therapist." She laughs, "I suppose I did get the better end of the deal." She says softly, not intending for him to hear.
"Ah. You're parents must be really into Poe." he said with a smile. At least it was different and from what he could tell, fit her well. "That much is true, if you don't mind a bunch of teenagers snickering at you if you actually open up." Gus really didn't think all that badly of the support group. He just exaggerated too often. Though he was almost positive he didn't exaggerate hearing Lenore mutter something under her breath. He raised a suspicious brow at it but decided it was better not to say anything until she confessed herself.
Hazel felt suddenly dizzy, like all the air had rushed out of her. She closed her eyes, her grip getting a little tighter. "Augustus?" She breathed.
If Hazel's more than normally bated breath wasn't enough to alarm Augustus, her tightening grip certainly was. "Hazel Grace? Is something wrong?"
He didn’t feel like he could apologize enough despite knowing that he didn’t get a choice to have or not to have cancer. Gus’ breathing became more and more bated as he did his best not to break down in front of Hazel. All he could do was hold her close.
She stayed silent as she pulled him closer to her, breathing in the scent of him. Not matter how hard she tried, Hazel couldn’t stop the tears running down her cheeks. “I love you, Gus. You’re going to be alright. Okay?” She was saying this more for her benefit then his, really. She couldn’t lose him. Not after everything they had been through.
Augustus nodded, trying his damn hardest to accept the words she spoke. But he knew deep down that wasn't true. The cancer was already spreading through his hip to his liver and eventually, it would get his heart. This wasn't okay at all. But he buried his head into the crook of Hazel's neck, trying to absorb all of her in a very lame effort of trying to ignore the cancer and the universe and the giant, metaphoric ticking clock that represented his time left. "Okay, Hazel Grace."
Isaac’s pout slowly, but surely, turned into a sheepish smile. His head ever so slightly tilted upwards, since he remembered that his friend was ever so slightly taller than him. He shook his head a bit, then tried to reposition it to where it was before.
“I know it is. It’s fine, though, it really is. I’m slowly getting used to your constant jokes of darkness.”
Then again, maybe some people did share his sense of humor. Especially Isaac, who was practically a brother to Gus.
"Good, cause there's a lot more where that came from. You won't even see it coming."
Caroline quietly tapped the tips of her finger nails against the basement floor. Her head nestled against her boyfriend’s shoulder. It felt wonderful to be away from the hospital, spending the afternoon with Gus in his home instead of a hospital activity room- it felt almost normal. Almost. Her long sleeve sweater hid deep brown bruises from past IVs, not that she needed to hide the marks from Augustus. It just wasn’t something one would normally see in the outside world.
For once, she wanted a day without misery. A day without death peering over her shoulder. Though it wasn’t death she feared, it was losing her sanity due to the tiny brain tumor that was found a little over a week ago.
The light squeeze interrupted her thoughts. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure. A two hour and thirty minute escape from reality sounds great.”
The moment Caroline spoke up Gus grinned. He could tell she was lost in her thoughts too and he wondered just what it was going through her head. He suspected the usual; something concerning the hospital or the tumor that they'd discovered less than a month ago. But even he didn't think about it for too long because it oddly enough made Gus' head feel like it was going to explode. That and he wasn't all too fond of thinking about his girlfriend's tumor. At first he considered she was being sarcastic with her answer -he remembered reading about the tumor and how it was nicknamed asshole because that's exactly what it turned people into and how, depending on the growth rate, could take effect in personalities sooner than you thought- but then he decided she might just be talking honestly. It had been too long since they'd hung out somewhere outside of a hospital and an escape from their literally sick reality sounded exactly like what they need.
"Take your pick," he told her, grabbing the first few DVDs off of a stack a few feet to his left and passing them towards Caroline while pressing a kiss to her temple.
Arielle gave the boy a small weak smile. “Y—yeah, I’m f—fine. This… T—this happens a—a lot.” She said and looked down at the bruises she had just gotten.
"Are you sure? That doesn’t look too good.." Gus could see bruises here and there, littering her legs. It almost reminded him of his times at Funky Bones when he’d see a kid fall off the bones that weren’t actually bones.
Arielle shied away from him and his putting eyes. She couldn’t tell him. She just couldn’t. “I—I’m okay, a—sir.” She said in a small voice.
"Augustus, not an ax murderer." he corrected the girl, trying to be as friendly and welcoming as possible in hopes that she would tell him what was actually wrong.
"Oh I won’t be doing that, I’m the girl"
"Mayhem the real thing or the one from the commercials. I think I could take him"
"Oh, please. Hazel Grace, the girl who will talk about the ghettoization of breakfast foods for an entire plane ride but won't propose first?"
"Maybe you could use your tank to fend 'em off."
"Hazel, meet Augustus Waters." |
Hazel was wheeled into the emergency room 3 times before they found the thyroid cancer, which took less that 2 days to spread to her lungs once she was hospitalized. Her lungs had filled up with liquid, nearly killing her but they drained it in time. “You’re a lucky one, Hazel,” nurse Emma had said to her as she wheeled her into her new room. “You will have a room mate,” she told her and then whispered in her ear, “He’s quite charming, and cute,” she winked. Hazel sighed, because she knew she looked a hot mess, and if this boy really was what she says, she would have no luck. Plus, she’s dying, why should it matter? “Augustus Waters, meet Hazel,” Emma said, and Hazel looked up from playing with her new nose garments and saw that he really was cute, wait be wasn’t cute, he was hot, she thought.
Augustus Waters had been in the hospital for about half a week now. After he'd been experiencing excruciating pain in his calf and knee for several days beforehand, his parents had brought him in and when the doctors couldn't find anything physically wrong aside from the swelling, they'd tried blood tests and came up with osteosarcoma. The cancer was developed enough that they'd gone right ahead and did surgery three days after the discovery. And now he was waiting for another PET scan. When he had heard the nurse call his name Gus looked up from the book in his lap only to be greeted by another teenager in a wheelchair and for someone who was in the hospital, she looked astonishingly beautiful. Before he even considered it might freak the girl out, Gus swung his leg and a half over the side of the bed and reached a hand out to her. "What's your name?" he asked, crooked grin and all while he ignored the fact that the nurse had just introduced them.
guys, if i ever end up publishing a crappy reply or one that just doesnt give you enough inspiration
tell me
please
and i will fix it and write you a better one
because sometimes i just kinda flop
please dont let my sometimes crappy writing ruin a thread
//sorry i havent been on today. i'm lame and was being lazy but i'm gonna work on my drafts/starters i promised for a bit
"I am so sorry," he swore to her, his own lip quivering. "I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry." Augustus didn’t know what else he could say. Nothing could make this situation any better.
She shook her head, cradling her head in her hands. “Just..” Hazel sighed heavily. “Gus..” She glanced up at him, pulling him closer to her.
He didn't feel like he could apologize enough despite knowing that he didn't get a choice to have or not to have cancer. Gus' breathing became more and more bated as he did his best not to break down in front of Hazel. All he could do was hold her close.
Augustus shook his head, wishing that it actually all was a lie because then he wouldn’t have to see Hazel this upset. “I lit up like a christmas tree, Hazel Grace. They don’t think that I have much longer.”
Hazel bit her lip as she looked at him, shaking her head. “Gus..” She shook her head.
"I am so sorry," he swore to her, his own lip quivering. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." Augustus didn't know what else he could say. Nothing could make this situation any better.
She smiled a little, resting her head against his chest, listening to his heart. “I love you too, Augustus Waters. More than all the stars in the sky.”
Gus let his eyes drift shut, feeling for the first time in a year and a half like the most blessed person in any of the universes. In that moment, his cancer didn't matter. The fact that he knew that everything and everyone he had come to adore would one day be destroyed under the sun couldn't fault the way he felt right then with Hazel Grace.
Hazel bit her lip as tears came to her eyes at the news. “You have to be kidding.. You’re kidding, right?”
Augustus shook his head, wishing that it actually all was a lie because then he wouldn't have to see Hazel this upset. "I lit up like a christmas tree, Hazel Grace. They don't think that I have much longer."
