Eridan sat down on the stool, brushing back his glossy dyed hair. He was a highblood with sparkling violet eys rimmed with gray and he had long horns shaped like zigzangs and he was wearing a dark blazer with a deep purple button-up shirt underneath and long striped suit pants with fashionsably ironic bowling ball shoes. He took a sip of his authentic mug of pirate rum that was signed by all the members of the Arctic Monkeys, especially Alex Turner.
"Hey, Eridan!" shouted a voice. Eridan looked up. It was… Feferi!
"What’s up Fef?" Eridna asked.
"Nothing." she said shyly.
"Then why the fuck do you come running up to me with your ‘hey Eridan!’ bullshit I mean god damn lady what the fuck do you want."
Feferi looked like a fish out of water.
Just then, Sollux appeared out of nowhere wearig a tight-fitting t shirt with the words “proxiie2 biitch” across the chest and you could see his muscles and his pants were khakis with lots of pockets that reached down past his knees. He was wearing dark green converses with yellow laces tied in a double not (zAN: ppl like 2 tie them together so u gotta be careful!) and he looked like Hank Green (zAN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!) only hotter because he had soft black hair and two sets of curved horns and his glasses weren’t normal, the right lens was red and the left lense was blue.
"God fucking dammit I can’t even sit down to have a pint without your pigass face getting in the way of Fef’s boobs shitting christ I’m going to slap a bitch." Eridan said.
"Well I only wanted to know why you were talking with Feferi because she’s MY girl. Look, we even got matching temporary tatoos and-" just then Eridan slapped Sollux.
Feferi gasped. “Eridan why did you do that!”
"Because I am a man of my word."
"Oh!" said Feferi flirtily. "Then will you marrie me?"
"Hell yes." Eridan said, lighting a cigarrette.
"THAT’S MY WAIFU NOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Sollux. He was still on the floor from being bitch-slaped so hard.
"My waifu now." Erdann said.
"Omfg you guys are fighting over me that’s soo hawt." Feferi said.
"Shut up bitch. I’ll slap you too." Eridan said.
"Rude." Meu said.
"GTFO out of mybar." Sollux said angrily.
"No." Eridan said. "Because it is actually MY bar. I just bought it with pure gold that I got from fighting angels (who were actually calibron lol) with my bear hands and drinking their blood." Eridan flexed his huge musles that were almost as wide around as Snooki’s bum.
Anyway Sollux started to cry because he just lost his girl and his bar and Feferi ad Eridan were now married and he had lots of gold (Eridan I mean).
"Don’t be a pussy, Sollux." Nepeta said appearing behind the bar counter.
Everyone stared at her, including Feferi’s boobs.
Anyway so Eridan kicked Sollux out of the bar and he and Feferi got human-married and at the wedding they kissed licky-style and then they did it right there in the wedding hall and it was so hot. The end.
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