How do we determine 'Monsters'?

Mia Castellan / Harry Potter RPer / OC Muse / Semi-selective / not mutuals only / Mun is +21 Secondary blog of Arawynn Thread Tracker

[mia-castellan]

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Mia’s characteristics as Werewolf

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[mia-castellan]

Molly’s expression was kindly, motherly, as she listened to Mia, her hands working quickly and deftly. She had been doing this long enough to be well versed in it. The needles could knit themselves of course but she took a certain pleasure in doing it the muggle way. It also gave her something to do with her hands which was very important, especially when she was worried. 

“Give Potions time. It’s one of those subjects, the more you put into it, the greater the rewards. It’s not instant though, not like charms or transfiguration. I was always best at Charms, top of my year actually.” Molly counselled before recalling with pride the only Outstanding she had gotten. Her marks hadn’t been bad, not by any stretch of the imagination, but an Outstanding had just been beyond her reach in Transfiguration. She knew this because she had spoken to one of the examiners only a few years later and he had recalled her. 

“Defence Against the Dark Arts was always the most exciting one but don’t let that go to your head. That’s when you start to make mistakes and there are consequences to that.”

Mia was glad to have somebody as kind as Mrs. Weasley to talk to. Somebody who was neither her parents nor her teachers but still knew and treated her with kindness. “I’m worried it won’t get much better with Potions. My problem isn’t that I don’t understand the instructions or mess up the brewing out of...incompetence. I get overwhelmed by the smell.”, she admitted.

The Werewolf had tried to talk to Professor Snape about the issue and ask for a way to improve her grades in other ways, but he was adamant about having the potions she brewed during his lessons as major part of her grade. And that he wouldn’t talk about that topic again.

Even though the Gryffindor was still somewhat frustrated about the situation with her Potions Class, she smiled about Mrs. Weasley’s experience she shared. And she nodded with the wisdom the older Witch shared with her. Mia knew she couldn’t let anything go to her head, or she’d have to face the very real danger of being discovered. She had little space for mistakes; a lot less than other children her age.

“I’ll do my best to avoid that.”, she promised.

[mia-castellan]

corda-comminuta​:

Two Monsters in the Circus Arcanus

The admiration and respect for Mia that came to exist within Nagini in that moment were pure and sincere, for it was now becoming more and more apparent to her that neither virtue was born out of ignorance and naivety, that neither virtue was an inappropriate reminder of better times Mia was not strong enough to part with.

“In that case, please don’t let anyone change you, Mia,” Nagini said solemnly. “It’s true that you will have no choice but to adapt if you want to survive in this place, but I don’t want them to taint what lies beneath all that.”

And she made a vow to herself to look out for Mia, for the girl who was the first to treat her with kindness and who had taught her that the kindness she had been directing at her could exist even among people like them.

And she made a vow to herself to help Mia escape on the very day she reached adulthood.

As someone who had not spent her entire life as a member of Circus Arkanus like Nagini herself, Mia would surely be able to survive in the outside world.

A tiny smile appeared on Mia’s face. “I’ll do my best.”, she promised, knowing that anything else would quickly turn out be something where expectations and reality would never be compatible.

“Change always means having to adapt. Though so far, I’ve never had to adapt to a place like this one.”, the Werewolf added with a short glance at her surroundings. In the past, adapting had meant getting used to a new family (usually only for a short time) and then re-adapting to life in the orphanage. So it wasn’t entirely new to her.

“Is there anything else I should better know about what life with this Circus is like? Besides hiding my true thoughts from everyone and especially Skender?”, she continued, hoping to keep the conversation with Nagini up for another bit. The Maledictus seemed to have a kind heart and she wouldn’t mind to escape along with her.

Because Mia knew that - given she was able to get away from the Circus Arcanus somehow - she wouldn’t return to the orphanage. However, surviving on her own would be hard, especially with her lycanthropy and the little education she had been given. Going with somebody else would certainly make it easier.

[mia-castellan]

corda-comminuta​:

Practice for Emergency

Cho nodded, not intending to hurt Mia’s pride when she was obviously keeping a stiff upper lip about her poor health, though the genuine respect she felt remained unaffected.

She rather liked the sight of the other witch smiling; after all, her initial discomfort had not escaped Cho’s notice, and with how brave and just Mia had rather quickly turned out to be, she was even more determined to at least alleviate it. With the return of Him-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Umbridge’s sabotaging them at every step in their attempts at becoming strong enough to face him, the D.A. and Hogwarts in general needed people like her, who were determined to fight tooth and nail to right those wrongs.

When she braced herself for Mia’s Disarming Spell this second time, there was no doubt in her mind that it would connect, and indeed, she visibly struggled not to loose her footing for a moment as her wand was being ripped out of her firm grasp.

“I knew you could do it,” she praised Mia, directing a genuine smile at her. Then, she turned to face Harry. “Did you see that? She caught up with the rest of us so quickly!”

Harry, of course, directed an encouraging smile of his own at Mia, “That was great! Your wand movements are really precise and your teamwork with Cho’s been brilliant from what I can tell. Keep it up!”

Mia was glad that Cho didn’t ask further questions, she would have hated to lie at her. The Ravenclaw was a nice person, the white-haired girl could imagine them being friends - if only her situation was a different one.

After having cast the spell, the Werewolf breathlessly waited for the impact and its result. She was too focused on it to even notice Harry having come to them. To see her training partner lose her wand made a big smile appear on Mia’s face. 

She had cast a successful Disarming Spell! Cho’s praise was a nice bonus, but her joy came from having mastered the new spell.

The Gryffindor whipped around when she suddenly heard Harry’s voice behind herself. A bright pink blush appeared on her face. “Thank you. Cho’s instructions how to improve myself have been really helpful.”, she replied shyly. 

Then Mia turned back to Cho again. “Your turn.”

[mia-castellan]

“Interesting,” Nagini remarked, filing the facts she had been given away, so she could later present them to Tom.

It was rather convenient that the girl was not skilled at reading people, for it would make her by far more susceptible to any manipulation on their part and her family history, too, could prove to be quite useful to their plans if they were to infiltrate the Aurors’ ranks or spy on them in a more general sense.

“I do not doubt that you will be able to apply those skills in the pursuit of something worthy of them and find fulfillment by doing so,” she thus declared. “An… acquaintance of mine would likely be interested in meeting you. He is seeking to employ people with your particular skill set as well.”

Having ensured that she would finish her drink just then and risen from her seat, she said, “Perhaps, we will meet again soon. Until then, I wish you success on your N.E.W.T.s”

And she gave the girl an enigmatic smile.

Mia huffed softly at the woman’s comment. There was nothing interesting about her favourite subjects. There wasn’t any career she could start with only them. And it didn’t yet involve the problems with her health she had to face. However, the Werewolf tried to not show her thoughts; the stranger certainly meant no harm with it.

“I...have my doubts. The few career options involving these subjects expect further N.E.W.T.s I won’t be able to attain.”, the Werewolf replied. She had come to terms with it quite a while ago. And while it still made her sad and angry at times, the Gryffindor knew that she couldn’t change the entire Wizarding World on her own.

As the other woman talked about an acquaintance who’d be interested in meeting her and who was looking for people with her skill set, Mia raised an eyebrow. She was highly skeptically about it. They hadn’t talked about much and the Werewolf didn’t believe that the stranger had already gathered enough to know whether or not she was fit for whatever job that person was offering.

“What does this acquaintance seek people for?”, the Werewolf still asked. She had to admit that there was a certain curiosity running through her. After all, the number of jobs she’d be offered and able to get would be extremely limited.

“Thank you.”, the white-haired Gryffindor replied politely when the other woman bid goodbye. Mia herself still had about half of her drink left, she’d stay for another while - and contemplate this meeting.

[mia-castellan]

“I see,” Cho said quietly. “Thanks for being honest with me. I’m relieved you didn’t wish a jinx like this on Marietta at least and that you understand why I would be siding with my friend here. But you may be right. It’s true that perhaps, Hermione really couldn’t have known what it’s like to have a family with ties to the Ministry. She’s a Muggleborn, right?”

Her tone was perfectly neutral when she pronounced the world Muggleborn. After all, Cho, too, did not approve of the discrimination of witches and wizards born to Muggle families that was common among Slytherins and certain Pureblood families.

And even though it was likely Hermione’s family situation that had caused her to treat Marietta without any semblance of understanding and sympathy, it would not cause Cho to become prejudiced against Muggleborns in their entirety.

Her ability to understand and follow the reasoning of both sides of an argument, after all, had been among the main reasons the Hat had chosen Ravenclaw as her House along with her intellect.

“I’m sorry about your parents, though,” she then said. “It must be difficult for them to navigate our society. I’m very glad, though, that they respect your choices and trust you that much.”

A smile appeared on Mia’s face. “Friendship without honesty isn’t worth much, in my opinion.”, she replied. It was ironic that she said such a thing, considering she was constantly lying and keeping secrets from Cho.

“Yeah, she’s muggle-born. So she doesn’t know what it’s like to work with the Ministry. Or all the ins and outs of the Wizarding World.”, the Gryffindor replied. It wasn’t supposed to be an excuse for what Hermione had done - anybody with a certain amount of empathy should know that such a spell wasn’t something to be used in their situation. 

The thought that Cho could hold prejudices against Hermione didn’t even come to the Werewolf’s mind. She knew the Ravenclaw well enough to know that it wasn’t what she thought like.

As the other girl continued, Mia shook her head with a smile. “There’s nothing you have to be sorry about. But yes, it’s difficult for us every now and then.”, she answered. The white-haired Gryffindor shared her parents’ reservations towards the Ministry. And it was unlikely to change until the Ministry itself changed and stopped crafting discriminatory laws like their Anti-Werewolf-legislation.

Another smile appeared on her face. “I’m glad they trust and respect me that much, too.”, Mia agreed.

[melamemea]

right in the guts. angst sentences.

“It always comes back to this with you, doesn’t it?”

“Why can’t you just learn to let the fuck go.”

“Did it over occur to you that I never wanted this to begin with?”

“Why can’t you just look at me for one god damn second!”

“Let go of my hand.”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Why are you — saying all these things —”

“You know what? I was wrong. You never really meant anything to me. You’re broken, you’re beyond fixing, you’re not something I want to take the time to handle. Simple as that.”

“You’re a god damn mistake, that’s what you are.”

“I never wanted anything to do with you to begin with.”

“This, us, was a fucking mistake and I should have known the second things went further than planned.”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

“If anything, you were a fucking waste of time.”

“I just don’t feel anything anymore.”

“Looking at you I see nothing but something I need to put an end to.”

“Oh? Really? You thought we had a future? What gave you that idea.”

“Is this even going anywhere?”

“Why can’t we just talk about it —”

“Does it ever occur to you that I am done talking? That I am done with reflecting upon my words and action? Can’t you just take a fucking hint that I’m done with you? I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

“We’re through. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“You were broken to begin with.”

“How am I supposed to ‘love you’ when I never had feelings to being with.”

“Haha, I don’t know who gave you THAT idea, but we’re not an item. We never were.”

“I’d like for you to leave now.”

“Just get out. Get out and leave me alone.”

“Why are you — saying all these things??? Where did they come from???”

“If you never were happy to begin with, how come you never told me?! I would have listened, I would have helped —”

“I don’t need, or want help, what I want is for you to get the fuck away from me.”

“You’re damaged goods and I can’t find the patience to take on you as a project.”

“You’re the kind of crazy I don’t want to deal with.”

“Lately you’ve become a burden, and I can’t handle it anymore.”

“If you’d just leave me alone, that’d be great.”

“Oh come on, the second we got to know each other, the due date were already set on us. We were never meant to last forever. Our relationship had a deadline, and now we’re at it; so, what you gonna do?”

“This is all on you.”

“Save your tears. I’m done here.”

[madeperfect-deactivated20221118]

      ❛how  do  you  ENDURE  it?❜  he  asks,  brows  furrowing.  ❛the—  they  always  know  who  i  am.  what  i  have  DONE.  how  do  you  deal  with  who  YOU  are?❜

⋆♚         mia-castellan   ,   STARTER CALL   from HERE

[mia-castellan]

Mia looked over at Malfoy, some sort of half-smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. Before the War, he would most likely never have thought about talking to her. A Gryffindor who on top of that didn’t belong to the circles he moved in - even though she too was a Pure-blood.

How much such a year could change...

“My situation has never been like yours. My part of our family has stayed away from the public eye as much as possible. I hid a major part of myself for basically my entire life. It was hard, I’m not gonna lie to you.

However, having my...condition something that’s known by quite a number of people comes with its own difficulties. Mostly due to old prejudices. Though they are nothing I never had to deal with.”, she replied honestly. Even with a certain softness to her words.

Something else she would have never deemed possible before the War. Back then, Draco Malfoy had been nothing but a spoiled brat and bully to her.

“I also have never been forced to act against my ethics.”, the Werewolf added.

[mia-castellan]

corda-comminuta​:

Two Monsters in the Circus Arcanus

Nagini blinked, not having expected the girl – Mia – to keep conversing with her now that she knew what she truly was, to regard her with something akin to compassion rather than disgust.

“My name is Nagini,” she introduced herself in return, and she couldn’t help but ask, “Why are you still talking to me?”

She wouldn’t have been as surprised, had Mia begun to ask invasive questions about her curse, for information that would entertain and make her feel superior, yet as it was, Nagini couldn’t help but hope that Mia wasn’t simply attempting to make her lower her guard instead, that she had, in fact, meant her earlier words and would prove Nagini wrong about her bleak worldviews.

And before Nagini could prevent such sentiments from forming in her mind, she already found herself fearing that one day, Skender would crush the girl’s mental strength along with her pride and her dignity, and it was in that moment that Nagini decided to teach her how to make Skender believe he had already succeeded.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nagini.”, Mia said with a tiny smile. For the moment, she couldn’t manage a bigger one, but at least it was honest. The woman’s question why she still talked to her surprised the girl, though it fit with what little she knew about her lack of self-confidence.

“I’m a Werewolf. It’s not exactly the same like being a Maledictus, but I know a thing or two about being treated like a monster rather than a human being. I refuse to do the same to anybody else, including you.”, she explained. Her voice was calm, but certain.

There had been many occasions where Mia had wanted to do nothing but hate everyone, lash out at those who hated her so much for simply being different. But in the end, there had always been that tiny voice telling her that she’d actually become what everyone had accused her to be if she gave in to those thoughts.

So she had fought hard to not become full of hatred. It wasn’t easy and had bitten her in the rear a couple times, but she still kept fighting.

[mia-castellan]

corda-comminuta​:

Practice for Emergency

Cho smiled at the other witch approvingly when she copied Harry’s movements, for it was indeed and efficient learning method and proof that Mia was taking Harry’s lessons seriously.

At her words about her poor physical health, however, Cho’s expression turned sympathetic. “I’m very sorry you have been having these kinds of problems,” she said softly. “I think it’s really admirable that you’re here in spite of them, and that you’re still so determined to defend yourself now that You-Know-Who is back. Your wand movements look correct now, by the way, so I’m sure you’ll get the spell right on your second attempt.”

And she readied herself for having the spell cast on her.

“You can cast it now; I’m ready,” Cho encouraged Mia.

She wouldn’t tell her that she had seen Harry enter her field of vision, and that he was now observing Mia; after all, she didn’t know the other witch well enough yet to tell whether being watched made her nervous.

“You don’t need to. I’ve always been sickly - inherited it from my dad.”, Mia said with a soft shake of her head. It wasn’t even a lie, but usually, nobody ever got close to the real reason behind it.

A quick smile flashed over the Werewolf’s face when Cho complimented her. “I’m not the kind of person to sit idle while things are going bad. No matter if it’s simple bullying here at school or something big like You-Know-Who.”, she replied. This streak of hers got the white-haired Gryffindor into trouble every now and then - mostly when she punched or cursed a bully once again - but no amount of detention would ever stop her from doing it.

The comment on her wand movement made a bright smile flash over Mia’s face. Her posture had...relaxed? slumped? a bit during the conversation, but now she got back to the full duel-ready stance. After a moment of collecting her concentration and remembering every tiny bit about the correct wand movements, the Werewolf cast the Disarming Spell.

[myfanwymusings]

TAYLOR SWIFT / FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION)

These lyrics are from Taylor Swift’s 2021 re-recording of her 2008 sophomore album, Fearless. These lyrics may be modified to better fit roleplay purposes. Please note: every track from the new album has been included, except Love Story (Elvira Remix) and Forever & Always (Piano Version) due to their lyrics being duplicates of lyrics already in the album elsewhere.

FEARLESS

There’s something ‘bout the way the street looks when it’s just rained

I’m trying so hard not to get caught up

You’re just so cool

I don’t know how it gets better than this

With you I’d dance In a storm in my best dress

I wanna stay right here

I’m not usually this way

You pull me in and I’m a little more brave

FIFTEEN

Take a deep breath and walk through the doors

Try to stay out of everybody’s way

You know, I haven’t seen you around before

When you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them

When someone tells you they love you, you’re going to believe them

We’ll be outta here as soon as we can

All you wanted was to be wanted

All I wanted was to be wanted

Back then, I swore I was gonna marry him someday

I realized some bigger dreams of mine 

I’ve found time can heal most anything 

I didn’t know who I was supposed to be

I didn’t know who I was supposed to be at fifteen  

LOVE STORY

We were both young when I first saw you

Hello

Stay away from Juliet

I’m begging you, please don’t go

Please don’t go.

Take me somewhere we can be alone

All there’s left to do is run

You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess

It’s a love story, baby just say yes.

Baby, just say yes.

We’re dead if they knew

They’re trying to tell me how to feel 

This love is difficult, but it’s real

Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess

I got tired of waiting 

My faith in you is fading

I’ve been so alone

I keep waiting for you but you never come

Is this in my head?

I don’t know what to think

Marry me, Juliet

You’ll never have to be alone

I love you, and that’s all I really know

I talked to your dad

Go pick out a white dress

HEY STEPHEN

I know looks can be deceiving

I know I saw a light in you

I didn’t say half the things I wanted to 

You might have me believing I don’t always have to be alone

I can’t help it if you look like an angel 

I wanna kiss you in the rain 

Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you 

I can’t help it if there’s no one else

I can’t help myself

I’ve been holding back this feeling, so I got some things to say to you

I never seen nobody shine the way you do 

I’ve seen it all, so I thought

I think you and I should stay the same

Why aren’t you here tonight?

I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose

All those other girls, well, they’re beautiful but would they write a song for you?

WHITE HORSE

Say you’re sorry

That face of an angel comes out just when you need it to 

I honestly believed in you

This ain’t a fairytale 

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down 

Maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes 

I didn’t know to be in love that you had to fight to have the upper hand 

I had so many dreams about you and me 

I’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well 

YOU BELONG WITH ME

She’s going off about something that you said

She doesn’t get your humor like I do 

What you’re looking for has been here the whole time 

Why can’t you see that you belong with me?

I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be 

You’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town 

Hey, isn’t this easy? 

You say you’re fine but I know you better than that 

I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night 

All this time how could you not know?

Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me?

BREATHE (FEAT. COLBIE CALLAIT)

None of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

It’s killing me to see you go after all this time

I don’t know what to be without you around

We know it’s never simple

You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand 

I can’t breathe without you, but I have to

I never wanted this, I never wanna see you hurt

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out 

It’s 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend

TELL ME WHY

You might think I’m bulletproof, but I’m not

You took a swing, I took it hard

Down here from the ground I see who you are

I’m sick and tired of your attitude

I’m feeling like I don’t know you

You tell me that you love me, then cut me down 

You know you got a mean streak

I remember what you said last night

I know, that you see, what you’re doing to me 

You could write a book on how to ruin someone’s perfect day

I’m sick and tired of your reasons

I got no one to believe in

You tell me that you want me, then push me around

Why do you have to make me feel small?

Why do you have to put down my dreams?

YOU’RE NOT SORRY

I’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down

It’s taken me this long, baby, but I’ve figured you out

You’re thinking we’ll be fine again, but not this time around

You don’t have to call anymore 

This is the last straw 

I don’t wanna hurt anymore

You can tell me that you’re sorry but I don’t believe you, baby, like I did before

You’re not sorry

I might believe you if I didn’t know

I could’ve loved you all my life if you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold 

You’ve got your share of secrets and I’m tired of being last to know

You used to shine so bright, but I watched all of it fade

THE WAY I LOVED YOU

I couldn’t ask for anything better

You look beautiful tonight

I feel perfectly fine 

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

It’s 2AM and I’m cursing your name 

I never knew I could feel that much 

You’re so in love that you acted insane

He can’t see the smile I’m faking

My heart’s not breaking cause I’m not feeling anything at all

FOREVER & ALWAYS

Were you just kidding?

I don’t feel welcome anymore

Baby, what happened? 

He still hasn’t called

You feel so low you can’t feel nothing at all

I was there when you said forever and always 

Was I out of line? 

Did I say something way too honest?

I thought I knew you for a minute, now I’m not so sure 

Where is this going?

Did you forget everything?

I don’t think so

You didn’t mean it

THE BEST DAY

I don’t know why all the trees change in the fall

You’re not scared of anything at all

I know I had the best day with you today

How my friends could be so mean?

I don’t know who I’m going to talk to now at school 

I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger 

You’re the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

I know you were on my side even when I was wrong

I didn’t know if you knew

CHANGE

I believe in whatever you do

I’ll do anything to see it through 

These things will change

Can you feel it now? 

These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down

The time will come for us to finally win

So we’ve been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered

It’s hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair

We’re getting stronger

They might be bigger but we’re faster and never scared

There’s something in your eyes says we can beat this 

We never gave in

JUMP THEN FALL

I like the way you sound in the morning

Your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard

All I can think is we should be together

Don’t be afraid to jump then fall

I’m never gonna leave you 

I’ll catch you 

The time is gonna come when you’re so mad you could cry 

I’ll hold you through the night until you smile

Every time you smile, I smile

Every time you shine, I shine

UNTOUCHABLE

I’m reaching out and I just can’t tell you why

I’m caught up in you

When you’re close, I feel like coming undone

Say that we’ll be together 

I won’t wait here all day 

I want to feel you by my side and standing next to me

COME IN WITH THE RAIN

I don’t wanna go there anymore

I know all the steps up to your door but I don’t wanna go there anymore

I’ll leave my window open

I’m too tired at night to call your name

Just know I’m right here hoping that you’ll come in with the rain

I could stand up and sing you a song but I don’t wanna have to go that far 

I’ve got you down, I know you by heart and you don’t even know where I start 

I don’t know what else I can say 

I’m too tired at night for all these games 

SUPERSTAR

This is wrong but I can’t help but feel like there ain’t nothing more right

I can’t help but wish I could see your face 

I knew from the first note played I’d be breaking all my rules to see you

I’m no one special, just another wide-eyed girl who’s desperately in love with you

Loneliness comes around when I’m not dreaming about you 

I knew when I saw your face I’d be counting down the ways to see you 

I’m invisible and everyone knows who you are 

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR

In the heat of the fight I walked away ignoring words that you were saying

This time I’ve had enough

I’m so mad I might tell you that it’s over 

Leave

I’m in love with you

All I need is on the other side of the door 

I keep going back over things we both said 

If you know everything tell me why you couldn’t see when I left, I wanted you to chase after me 

I can’t even look at you 

I don’t need you, but I do

There’s nothing you can say to make this right again, I mean it 

TODAY WAS A FAIRY TALE

Today was a fairy tale

I used to be a damsel in distress

Time slows down whenever you’re around

Can you feel this magic in the air?

I fell in love when I saw you standing there

It’s getting so much clearer 

Nothing made sense 'til the time I saw your face

YOU ALL OVER ME (FEAT. MAREN MORRIS)

I lived, and I learned, had you, got burned

Swore that I’d get out of here

No amount of freedom gets you clean

I’ve still got you all over me  

The best and worst day of June was the one that I met you 

Don’t you wish you had me? 

Every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then 

I watched a part of myself die

MR. PERFECTLY FINE

I’ve been waitin’ for you all my life

Every single day until the end, I will be by your side

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

Hello Mr. “Perfectly fine”, how’s your heart after breaking mine?

It’s wonderful to see that you’re okay

Everything revolves around you

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you’re all the same

'Cause I hear he’s got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I never got past what you put me through but it’s wonderful to see that it never fazed you

WE WERE HAPPY

When it was good, baby, it was good

No one could touch the way we laughed in the dark 

Goodbye’s so much harder 'cause we were happy 

I hate those voices telling me I’m not in love anymore 

THAT’S WHEN (FEAT. KEITH URBAN)

Need some space to think about all of this 

When can I come back? 

All this playing, did you ever think of me?

I’ll be waiting at the front gate

I did you wrong, made mistakes and put you through all of this 

I’ll come back

DON’T YOU

I knew I’d run into you somewhere 

It’s been a while

I didn’t mean to stare 

I’m sure she’ll make you happy 

Don’t smile at me and ask me how I’ve been

Don’t say you’ve missed me if you don’t want me again

You don’t how much I feel I love you still 

Sometimes I really wish that I could hate you 

I swore I wouldn’t do this

BYE BYE BABY

It wasn’t just like a movie 

This is the last time I’ll drive this way again 

I still love you but I can't 

I was so sure of everything we thought we’d always have

Seems like I’m becoming part of your past

There’s so much that I can’t touch

You’re all I want but it’s not enough this time

I can feel you like you’re slipping through my hands 

I’m so scared of how this ends

I want you back but it’s coming down to nothing

[mia-castellan]

Cho braced herself when her partner – Mia Castellan – readied herself and cast the Disarming Charm, though she realized it would not have much of an effect even before it connected.

“That’s why we’re all here for,” she said kindly. “And for a first attempt, this was actually pretty good. I only think your timing was a little off. If you take a closer look at Harry, you should see that he performs the wand movements faster and with a rhythm that is a little different from yours.”

She then waited for Harry to cast the spell on a student, so the pair he was currently instructing would be able to see the correct wand movement, confirming that her assessment had indeed been correct. After all, Cho herself had been unable to cast the spell correctly during her first lesson.

“Would you like to try again?” she then asked. “You weren’t there for our first lesson, right?”

Mia sent Cho a half-smile, thankful for the other’s kindness and patience. When the other explained how to make it better and suggested to watch Harry doing it, the Gryffindor did. His movements were indeed a bit different from hers.

Without actually voicing the spell, Mia repeated the wand movements a couple times in an attempt to replicate what Harry had done. And how he had done it. “I think I’ve got it.”, the Werewolf finally said and faced her training partner again.

“Yes.”, she replied, the ambition to be successful driving her. Though she waited for Cho to signal that she too was ready for another attempt. “Yeah, I needed to go to the Hospital Wing. Happens all the time.”, the white-haired teenager explained. Being upfront with the fact that she got sick all the time had been working pretty good to avoid questions so far.

[mia-castellan]

“You’re right,” Cho agreed. “I shouldn’t have doubted you. You’ve always been different from the rest of them. I- This is not meant as an insult. It’s something I’ve liked about you right from the beginning. Your open-mindedness. How good you are at looking at both sides of an argument. I understand that you’re angry. I don’t agree with Marietta on this either. But don’t you also think what Hermione did is cruel? Marietta only did what her mother expected her to do, she didn’t actually want to harm anyone. Maybe this is a cultural issue…” 

Cho paused, looking a touch pensive, and she didn’t realize that she was practically rambling at this point, that she was spilling each and every thought she had been bottling up from her falling out with Harry until that moment.

“It would have been difficult for me as well, to go against my parents’ wishes,” she continued. “I would have done it because of Cedric, but it would have hurt me a lot. I don’t think British wizards feel that strongly about this unless they are Purebloods, so of course, most of the others wouldn’t understand…” 

“I’m not angry at you that you did. It was an extreme situation.”, Mia replied gently. After all, she had been insecure about Cho’s stance on the entire thing as well. Marietta’s betrayal had caused quite a bit mistrust in their group. A quick grin flashed over her face when the Ravenclaw praised her for being open-minded. It was rooted in her being all too often the target of closed-minded people.

When Cho asked if the Werewolf too thought that Hermione’s curse had been cruel, she allowed herself some time to think through what and how she’d answer. “It was cruel, yes. Hermione should have at least warned us that there was a spell placed on the paper that would be activated when somebody reveals the group. And she should have used a different spell - have the person’s hair turn some bright colour for a while or something like that. Though I understand why she did it.”, the Gryffindor finally said.

She most certainly didn’t feel as much pity for Marietta as she might have if literally anybody else had been hit by that curse.

“Maybe it is - I’m not the right person to tell.”, Mia replied. She probably knew more about the Muggle World than the average Witch, but by far not as much as those who had grown up in that world.

“My parents are Pure-bloods too and while they certainly wouldn’t be happy that I defied Umbridge, they’d still support me. As long as my grades are decent, they trust me to do the right thing. And they aren’t exactly on good terms with the Ministry.”, the Werewolf admitted.

The not being happy came from a very different source than what anybody would probably assume. As a member of the Ministry of Magic who was kind of known for her hatred of Werewolves would certainly do everything within her power to make Mia’s life miserable should she find out what she was.

[mia-castellan]

“I was indeed a Hogwarts student myself,” Nagini replied. “My N.E.W.T. subjects were Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Herbology, and History of Magic.”

She would only hint at the fact that her actual curriculum exceeded that of Hogwarts by far if she concluded that the girl had an open mind that was devoid of silly prejudices.

The girl’s condition combined with her second favorite subject, however, made it far from unlikely. In the end, most outcasts were prepared to do anything for a sense of belonging, for acceptance, and the fact that the girl appeared to be skilled at handling creatures shunned and considered dangerous by most and fond of them increased the odds of her belonging to this majority.

“Defense Against the Dark Arts and Care for Magical Creatures is an interesting combination,” Nagini therefore remarked. “People are so quick to judge what they cannot grasp, yet my intuition tells me that you are different. May I ask what has drawn you to those specific subjects?”

Mia tried to imagine what kind of career involved N.E.W.T.s in the courses the woman had mentioned, but failed to come up with something that required all of them. Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Charms and Transfiguration might hint at Auror or something along those lines. Probably Herbology to grow ingredients for Potions. But how did the other courses fit?

The Gryffindor’s brooding about this was stopped by the woman asking about her own favourite subjects. A quick smile flashed over her face. “Magical Creatures are just easy to interact with. When you know how to read their body language, they’re straightforward about what they like or dislike. People are harder to read.”, she started.

“With Defense Against the Dark Arts...well, my family brought forth a number of Aurors. My dad tried to become one too but didn’t succeed. So I guess it’s kind of inherited.”, she continued, ignoring what else the older woman had said. Though Mia did agree that people were far too quick to judge others.

[mia-castellan]

Nagini gave her a slow nod, hoping she would indeed do as she had said and refrain from acting on her anger and true thoughts. If she was perfectly honest with herself, Nagini wanted the girl to succeed and prove her wrong about what she deemed impossible. It was, after all, true that her life at the circus was bleak and miserable and devoid of any semblance of hope – hope she may have been craving for her entire life, from the moment Skender had told her that a circus freak was all she would ever amount to.

And yet, Nagini remained silent about such thoughts, not wanting to encourage the girl to be reckless and thus unintentionally lead her onto the path of certain failure, and instead locked them away in the recesses of her mind.

At the girl’s question, she took a deep breath, already bracing herself for being regarded with a mix of twisted fascination and justified disgust. 

“I’m a Maledictus,” she explained, “a bearer of a blood curse forcing me to transform into a snake whenever I fall asleep until one day, I can no longer return to my human form.”

Mia did not care about whether or not the other woman approved of what she said. Because for the moment, despite her hopes of gaining her as an ally eventually, she was on her own. And she’d need to act as if everyone might betray her to Skender if she dared to be careless.

When the other explained what she was, the white-haired girl listened carefully. As she finished talking, there was concern and compassion on her face. Being a Werewolf wasn’t easy either with the monthly transformations and all the social excluding, but at least there was no danger of never being able to get her human body back.

“I have never heard of such a curse, to be honest.”, Mia admitted. “What’s your name? I’m Mia.”, she added out of the blue a couple moments later. The white-haired girl had said she wouldn’t see anybody as underbeing and that meant showing the other basic decency - which included introducing herself and asking the other about her name.

[mia-castellan]

Molly nodded her head, agreeing with that being a good idea. It was a difficult enough situation as it was for Mia without falling too far behind with her schoolwork. If she got into the practice of doing it now, then it would make everything easier for her as she grew older. 

“How are you doing with your classes? Have you found what subject you are best as yet?” Molly asked conversationally as she continued with the scarf. it wasn’t going to take her too much longer before it was finished and then she could move on to the jumpers for this year. 

Mia was thankful that Mrs. Weasley did not chide her that she hadn’t thought about bringing homework along before. After all, it was an entirely new situation for her.

“Overall, I’m doing well. I won’t ever get on a broom, Potions will be difficult and I seem to have a talent to kill plants in Herbology, but aside from those three classes, it’s good. My favourite is Defense against the Dark Arts, though Charms and Transfiguration are fascinating too.”, the Gryffindor said. 

She was extremely thankful that Madam Hooch didn’t try to force her on a broomstick. It wasn’t that the Werewolf was afraid of heights - being up on the Astronomy Tower was absolutely no problem for her - but the not having solid ground beneath her feet.

[chosenonetm-deactivated20210503]

@mia-castellan​ ; liked.

     “Excuse me, uh … can I get through here. It looks like this is the only place they have the sugar quills.” And it was obvious that Mia was looking at something else, but it was so crowded. He would’ve reached over her to get them, but he didn’t want to be rude.

[mia-castellan]

Mia had been looking for a treat she could get herself - which was very difficult with her limited budget - when somebody addressed her. It took the Gryffindor a moment to snap out of her calculating and comparing prices.

“Uh yeah of course.”, she replied, stepping closer to the shelf to let her class mate pass through.