Mia Poppe - Family Law Attorney @miapoppe-esq - Tumblr Blog

Breaking Up is Even HARDER to Do…Pre-nups for Same Sex Couples

WE WANT PRE-NUP

On June 24, 2011, the New York State Legislature passed the Marriage Equality Act. The act, which allows marriage by same sex couples, went into effect 30 days later on July 24, 2011.

New York has joined Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire, Vermont, and the District of Columbia in recognizing and permitting same sex marriages.

Under the Act, all of the State rights, protections, and obligations of heterosexual spouses are extended to same sex spouses. Or more accurately, the rights, protections, and obligations are extended to same sex spouses… so long as they remain in New York or another state that recognizes same sex marriages. This last clause is fraught with complexities, both legal and practical.

Many lawyers are advising their LGBT clients to call their lawyer before they call their mother to break the news of a pending marriage. While this may sound like a joke, marriage is not joke—and the complexities that may arise in a same sex marriage are equally serious, if not more so, than the issues that arise in heterosexual marriages.

Fortunately, many issues can be resolved before they arise though the strategic use of a pre-nuptial or post-nuptial agreement. A qualified attorney will be able to assist in preparing a pre or post nuptial agreement for a same sex married couple or a same sex married couple contemplating marriage.

Below are a few issues that you should discuss with a qualified attorney:

1. Portability of marital rights and protections to other states and countries.

2. Adoption of children of the marriage by the non-biological same sex parent.

3. Recognition by the federal government.

4. Tax implications.

5. Long term care options.

6. Estate planning and ancillary probate issues from other states intersecting with probate in New York (probating a will upon the death of one of the parties).

The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC is able to assist you in addressing many of these issues. The Firm also works with professionals in the areas of tax law and long-term care insurance to assist clients with long-term care decisions and estate planning.

More than just Mom & Dad: Legal Tri-Parenting

Just this winter, New York joined Maine, California, and nine other states in declaring that a child can have more than two parents. While this might sound impractical, the decision affects a whole number of different families who have reasons for wanting more than two parents. For example: a man who’d like to remain a legal father even if DNA testing reveals that the child is not genetically his; a terminally ill single parent who’d like to provide a surviving couple for her child, or a gay couple who decides to incorporate their donor/surrogate into their family and lifestyle.

While grandparents, siblings and other relatives can all step in and help when a parent or parents need it, allowing for a third person to be legally labeled a parent gives them different rights and responsibilities, and allows them to step into the child’s life in an entirely different way. Without legal status as a parents, there are all sorts of smaller issues—doctors appointments, school meetings—that can prove tricky to get in to. And of course, many people just want to know that they have real, legal standing at the child’s parent and guardian.

Mia Poppe, a family law expert at Poppe & Associates, spoke about how important it is for all people who feel that they are a parent to the child—and have made the long commitment of caring for said child on a regular basis—to be able to bring their parentage to court.

There are some scientific situations which also allow children to have more than two parents. 3-parent children have also been a medical reality for the past few years. In traditional children, half the DNA comes from the mother and half comes from the father. In specific situations, a third DNA can be inserted into the fetus. When a child is found to have certain diseases located in the mitochondrial DNA, or mDNA, the mDNA can be spliced out and replaced with a “good” DNA, belonging to neither the mother nor the father. The child now contains DNA from three separate “parents,” though the mDNA is not known to have impact on any genetic traits of the child. In this situation as well, a child or parent could go to court to argue for three (or more) legal parents.

With the new medical and legal possibilities, the modern family is growing and becoming more rich and complex. The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates are here to help you manage the complex rulings surrounding this matter—and to make your family whole.

INTERSTATE AND INTERNATIONAL EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION ISSUES.

Marilu Cain, Esq. March 2013

Clients frequently call the Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, inquiring whether, after they are divorced in another state or country, they can go to court in New York State to divide property. The answer, generally, is yes. Nevertheless, a lawyer from The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates would need to analyze the circumstances of each client’s case to be precise.

By statute in New York, following a decree or judgment of divorce in another state or a foreign country, one or both parties can bring an action for equitable distribution in New York. This usually happens when only one party appeared or participated in the divorce action outside of New York (called an “ex parte divorce”). For example, in the past it was not uncommon for one party to move to Nevada and obtain a Nevada divorce, ending the marriage, without resolving “ancillary issues” such as division of property, alimony (maintenance), child support or child custody. Either party could then pursue ancillary relief in New York, provided that New York had “jurisdiction,” or power under the federal and state constitutions, and New York state statutes, to hear the matrimonial action. Jurisdiction is proper in New York if the court finds that the state has sufficient connection with the parties and the marriage to have an interest in ruling on the dispute.

In deciding whether New York jurisdiction is proper over the marriage, the court analyzes such factors as the past and current residence of the parties, their residence during the marriage, and whether the marriage was solemnized in New York, or the conflict between the parties that led to the divorce arose in New York. The equitable distribution claim will be time-barred six years after the granting of the divorce.

GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION OF THE PROPERTY:

When New York takes jurisdiction over an equitable distribution suit, the New York court can divide property no matter where the property is located. The court issues an order which binds the parties with respect to their marital property, including assets held in a foreign country. The courts of the foreign country will usually honor the disposition by the New York court.

Where both parties appear and participate in the matrimonial suit in another state or foreign country (in other words, where the divorce is not ex parte) the other domestic or foreign court will usually divide the property, and when doing so will decide what law, whether the law of New York, or another jurisdiction, should apply to the case. Sometimes parties can simply agree on the law to be applied.

FULL FAITH AND CREDIT / COMITY:

Where the parties jointly divorce in another jurisdiction, but choose to have a New York court

rule on equitable distribution, the foreign court in its judgment or decree should state that it has declined jurisdiction over the property division. Otherwise, under a 2003 decision of the Court of Appeals (the highest court of the state of New York), New York courts will refuse to address the property distribution if that issue could have been presented in the foreign action that decided the divorce.

Where both parties participate in the divorce in another jurisdiction, and the court rules on the ancillary issues, New York will usually decline to address those issues. The decisions of the courts of another state are usually given “full faith and credit” in New York (or whatever state to which the party or parties choose to submit their ancillary claim) under the federal constitution of the United States, and New York will only very rarely disturb the decision of the other state’s courts. Foreign countries are usually given “comity:” their matrimonial decrees will be honored and enforced, unless the foreign decree for some reason seriously offends a significant policy of the state of New York.

The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates is experienced in handling cases involving interstate and international Family Law issues, and will be happy to handle your interstate or international matrimonial dispute, as well as any other aspect of Family Law in which you may be involved.

Five Collateral Benefits Of Divorce

Your divorce is not necessarily the end – It may be your beginning

Recently, during a cardio kickboxing class, I noticed that I can actually land a mean uppercut, followed by a quick, and powerful hook. While in pursuit of a stronger, and more efficient cardiovascular system, I received the collateral benefit of developing real punching skills. Divorce too, has collateral benefits.

While I am a divorce practitioner, I am not “pro divorce”. I believe in marriage, and as a mother of eight, I certainly believe in family. As a New York City divorce attorney, I receive the collateral benefit of seeing that circumstances that came to destroy my clients’ lives, like divorce, can and often are the stairway to their new and improved life. Despite the difficulty of divorce, more often than not, my former clients contact me to provide updates on the collateral benefits of having gone through a divorce. My clients’ cite many collateral benefits achieved in the aftermath of their divorce, following are five (5) benefits often cited by my clients:

(1) Free to be me:

(2) New and fulfilling romantic relationship:

(3) Feeling years younger:

(4) Enjoying parenthood;

(5) New physique, and new wardrobe.

If your marriage was going poorly for a while, divorce allows you to not only leave behind your partner but leave behind your old self: the person that was unhappy, who fought, didn’t feel put together, etc. Being single again opens you up to new experiences, and you might find that it helps you with all sorts of things you didn’t see as directly related to the divorce, like putting together a new wardrobe.

Divorces can be long, tough, and draining, but once they’re over, you may as well reap the collateral benefits of a divorce: a new you.

How to Lose a Guy in 15 Days – Exclusive Occupancy in Same-Sex Divorce Proceedings

“This is not the precedent that I want to set for my community,” stated my client, Dan Ragone (@danragone), the “monied” spouse in a same sex divorce. Honorable Laura Drager of the New York County Supreme Court replied, “You’re not the first.”

In this same sex divorce action, Mia Poppe, Esq. (@miapoppe_esq), of the Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, successfully obtained exclusive occupancy of the marital residence in 15 days.[1]

Less than six years after New York’s passing of The Marriage Equality Act, same sex couples are divorcing and facing the same issues as traditional couples. One of the more commonly faced issues is Exclusive occupancy. Exclusive occupancy (See: Exclusive Occupancy Defined) is a tough and critical part of divorce.

Under New York State law, you can't lock your spouse out, or otherwise prevent him or her from residing in the home. The two tried and true pathways to getting exclusive occupancy are (1) domestic strife or violence, and (2) the establishment of an alternate residence. (Factors Considered in Exclusive Use and Occupancy, Domestic Strife or Violence in Exclusive Occupancy and Alternative Residence in Exclusive Occupancy).

In sum, many couples, for economic reasons, are forced to live together during the entire pendency of their divorce proceedings. In New York, Kings, Queens, or Bronx counties, this likely means living together for 18 months or more, while waiting for either a judge’s signature on a judgment of divorce, or your spouse’s signature on a settlement agreement containing a move-out provision.

Four (4) Steps towards exclusive occupancy in a same sex divorce:

(1) Hire a qualified matrimonial lawyer, with experience in same sex divorces.

(2) Avoid domestic strife or even the appearance of domestic strife.

(3) Understand that settlement means that both parties are settling for less than what they deserve.

(4) If you are the “monied” spouse, be willing to offer payment in exchange for a quick vacancy by your spouse.

Mia Poppe, Esq., and the Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, are able to assist you in addressing the specific issues involved in your same sex divorce matter. Please contact the Firm to schedule a complimentary consultation to discuss your same sex divorce issues.

By Mia Poppe, Esq.

*Attorney Advertisement.

[1] These results are not standard and exclusive occupancy often involves protracted timelines.

Don’t get screwed. Come to Poppe & Associates for the best divorce counsel around.

Just because the marriage didn’t work doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. Check out these adorable divorce selfies from couples who get that not everything is forever. If you need a lawyer to get you from #weddingselfie to #divorceselfie, come on over to the Law Firm of Poppe & Assoc.--we’ll throw in the “Just Divorced” sign for free ;)

#divorceselfies #divorce #wedding #weddingselfie

It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.

Eleanor Roosevelt

10 Tips On How to Choose a Divorce Lawyer

When grappling with a divorce, selecting the right divorce lawyer is crucial in helping you obtain a favorable outcome.

The following are 10 tips to consider when choosing a divorce lawyer.

(1) Decide on your top 2 - 4 desired outcomes and write them down. Before meeting with any lawyer, determine and write down 2-4 desired outcomes desire out of the conclusion of your matrimonial action.

(2) Conduct a basic Internet “Plain English” search on the law regarding each of your outcomes.

A simple Google search can provide you with useful information on key issues to consider during a divorce. Additionally, doing a simple Internet search can give you ideas of topics to discuss while interviewing your potential divorce lawyer.

For example, you can search: "can I have my divorce legal fees paid by my spouse?" or "in a divorce can I keep my house until my kids graduate". You likely will not get a direct hit, but you will gain information that will assist you when you begin interviewing lawyers.

(3) Interview multiple lawyers. Using the information obtained from your online search, and your 2-4 desired outcomes, schedule initial consultations to interview several experienced lawyers. During your consultation with each attorney determine:

(a) Whether they seem to understand the nuances of your case,

(b) Whether there is interpersonal chemistry between you and your potential lawyer,

(d) Whether the attorney has a strong support team.

A word on chemistry: The relationship between a lawyer and client is a very personal and even intimate one. In the course of a divorce, lawyers will get to know, or should know, a lot about their clients. For these reasons make sure to hire a lawyer, who is firstly qualified and experienced, but also someone with whom you feel comfortable sharing your personal details.

(4) Figure out what you can and cannot afford. Don't be shy when it comes to discussing payment terms and amounts. It is also important to remember that your divorce is not a used car purchase; this is not a good time to bargain shop.

(5) Ask for references and or read online reviews. When considering hiring a lawyer, make sure to search for client reviews online to

Frequently, former satisfied clients would offer to discuss their experience with potential clients. While a lawyer cannot disclose client lists, or client information, they can, with express permission, connect potential clients with former clients.

(6) Find a lawyer whose main core practice is matrimonial or family law. In New York, using a generalist may invite more costs.

(7) Refer often to your 2-4 desired outcomes. During your interview and during your representation (once you hire a lawyer), refer often to your desired outcomes to make sure that

(8) Take time to think about it. Retaining a divorce lawyer is a big decision. After meeting with some potential lawyers, don't be afraid of taking time to think about your options before making a final decision.

(9) Consider taking a trusted confidant to meet with the attorneys you interview. Remember, if you bring a third party into your consultation, you are waiving privilege of the discussion held in the presence of that person. Make sure you are comfortable with this third party before you bring them into your consultation.

(10) Trust your gut. In addition to a following a thoughtful rational process, it is essential to trust your gut in making the final decision for selecting a lawyer for your divorce.

#Divorce DivorceLawyer #NYCDivorce #FemaleDivorceAttorney #FemaleAttorney #NewYorkDivoce

Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.

Langston Hughes

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

Langston Hughes

I will not take ‘but’ for an answer.

Langston Hughes

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

Henry David Thoreau

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

Henry David Thoreau

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

Langston Hughes

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

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Thomas Jefferson

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Mia Poppe - Family Law Attorney