Years after leaving for Paradis, in hopes to recover the Founding Titan on this mission, Reiner returns to Marley carrying the weight of war and the memory of you, only to discover that survival had asked you for sacrifices of your own.
He returns to find you wearing another manâs name.
ââ â° â â Contents:
MDNI! 18+, Living Room Sex, Unprotected PinV, Shower Masturbation, AU, Canon Divergence, Aged Up Characters, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Love Triangle, Post War Trauma, Jealousy, Mention of Violence, Mention of War, Slow Burn
âMaybe you came back too late.â
The words remained suspended between the two of you long after they were spoken aloud. For a while, the only thing filling the silence was the distant hum of the city below, the muffled sound of passing traffic, the occasional burst of laughter drifting upward from the streets, the soft rush of wind curling through the balcony railings. The world beyond this moment continued moving forward without hesitation, completely unaware that something fragile and unfinished was unraveling quietly between the two of you.
Reinerâs eyes stayed on yours for one lingering second longer before they finally dropped away.
Not because he wanted to look elsewhere.
Because he needed to.
You noticed the way his jaw tightened faintly afterward, the subtle shift in his throat as he swallowed down whatever reaction threatened to surface first. His fingers remained wrapped loosely around the cigarette resting between them, though the thing had nearly burned itself down unnoticed by now.
And suddenly, painfully, you understood it.
For years, Reiner had imagined this differently.
That was the cruel part.
You could see it written all over him now, in the exhaustion sitting behind his eyes, in the restrained disappointment he was trying and failing to hide beneath composure.
Some part of him had truly believed that after everything, he would return and still find you waiting exactly where he left you.
As if time would pause for people like the two of you.
As if war did not steal years from people faster than they realized.
As if love could survive untouched beneath silence and distance and grief.
The realization made something inside your chest ache sharply.
Slowly, Reiner lifted the cigarette toward his mouth before stopping halfway through the motion. He stared at it for a moment, distant and unfocused, before quietly crushing the ember against the railing instead, the orange glow extinguished instantly.
Smoke curled upward between the two of you, dissolving slowly into the cold night air.
âI used to think about you all the time,â The confession came quietly enough that you almost missed it. "I mean, I'm lying if I say I don't anymore."
Your eyes lifted toward him again.
Reiner still wasnât fully facing you yet. One arm rested against the balcony railing beside him while the other remained lowered at his side, his posture tense in a way that felt less guarded and more exhausted now.
âBefore missions,â he continued after a moment, his voice roughened slightly by memory. âDuring them too.â A quiet, humorless breath left him. âAnd afterward, if I made it back.â
Your chest tightened painfully.
His gaze drifted toward the city lights below, though it was obvious he wasnât really seeing them anymore.
âIâd wonder what you were doing.â His voice softened slightly on the admission. âWhether you were sleeping yet. Whether you were okay.â
The corner of his mouth twitched faintly, though there was no real amusement behind it. âSometimes Iâd try to remember your face before things got bad.â
You felt your breath catch at that.
âAnd every time I thought I wasnât gonna make it backâŠâ His fingers tightened briefly against the railing. âI think part of me kept holding onto the idea that if I survived long enough, Iâd come home to you.â
The honesty in his voice nearly undid you where you stood, because he meant it, every word.
You suddenly wondered how many nights Reiner spent clinging to that thought just to survive another day. How many missions he walked into carrying your memory like something sacred tucked carefully between all the blood and violence and fear.
And maybe that was what hurt most.
Not the fact that he still loved you, but the realization that he never really stopped.
Reiner finally turned toward you then.
Fully this time.
One of his hands lifted slowly before settling against the side of your face, his palm warm against your skin as though he still remembered exactly how to hold you after all these years.
The touch nearly unraveled you on the spot.
Your breathing slowed slightly.
So did his.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. Reinerâs eyes simply searched yours carefully, quietly, like he was trying to find traces of the person he had carried with him through every passing year.
âI thoughtâŠâ He stopped briefly, his thumb brushing faintly against your cheek before continuing. âI thought maybe things would still feel the same when I saw you again.â
The vulnerability in his voice made something inside your chest ache painfully, just hopeful in a way that felt deeply unfair after everything he had survived.
Your eyes dropped briefly before lifting back toward him again, and before you could stop yourself, your hand slowly rose to his wrist, your fingers curling gently around the hand cupping your face. The contact made Reiner go still almost immediately, like even that small touch meant more to him than it should have.
You stared at him quietly for a moment before shaking your head slightly. âIt was never that easy, Rein.â Your voice came out softer than intended. âThere were days I thought you were dead.â
The words visibly landed somewhere deep inside him. You saw it immediately in the way his expression tightened slightly, the way his eyes flickered away for the briefest second before returning to yours again.
âThere were times where nobody heard anything,â you continued quietly. âNo letters. No updates. Nothing.â Your fingers tightened faintly around his wrist without realizing it. âAnd I waited,â you admitted, your voice weakening around the truth. âLonger than I shouldâve.â
Reinerâs eyes lifted toward yours immediately.
You could almost see the hope threatening to rise inside him again despite everything.
âThere were nights where every knock at the door made me think maybe it was you finally coming back.â Your throat tightened painfully. âI kept thinking one day youâd just show up again like nothing happened.â
Something in Reinerâs expression faltered at that.
Not entirely heartbreak.
Something worse.
Longing.
The kind that survives long after itâs supposed to die.
âBut eventuallyâŠâ You swallowed hard. âLife doesnât wait for people forever.â
Silence settled heavily afterward. The space between you had somehow disappeared without either of you noticing.
Reiner stood impossibly closer now, your back shifting, now facing against the railing behind you while one of his hands remained cupped gently against the side of your face. His thumb brushed slowly along your cheek once, almost absentmindedly, though the look in his eyes made it clear there was nothing careless about the touch.
Close enough that you could hear the slight unevenness in his breathing now.
Close enough that every shift of movement felt deliberate.
Then slowly, his other hand found its way to the other side of your face, cupping it. Reinerâs gaze dropped briefly toward your mouth before lifting back to your eyes again, and the caress of his thumb against your skin softened slightly afterward, like touching you again after all these years was undoing him in real time.
Your eyes flickered downward before you could stop yourself.
Toward his mouth.
And the moment you did, Reiner noticed immediately.
You knew he did from the way his breathing caught almost silently afterward.
God.
The tension between you felt unbearable now, thickened by years of unfinished love, unresolved grief, and every version of the two of you that had once existed before life complicated everything beyond repair.
Reinerâs gaze dropped briefly to your lips then slowly returned to your eyes again.
Neither of you moved.
Neither of you stepped back.
It would have been so easy.
That was the terrifying part.
One small movement forward and the years between you would collapse completely.
You could see the restraint wearing thin in his expression now.
The conflict.
The wanting.
The quiet desperation he was trying so hard not to act on.
âTell me not to.â His voice came low enough to almost blend into the night air. The words wrapped themselves tightly around your chest. Your breath caught somewhere between your lungs and never fully returned.
Reinerâs eyes remained fixed on yours, searching them carefully like he was waiting for the smallest sign to pull away.
But you didnât move.
Didnât tell him to stop.
And maybe that alone was speaking for itself.
The city lights blurred faintly behind him now, swallowed entirely by the unbearable awareness of how close he was standing. You could feel the warmth of his body against the cold night air, could hear the unevenness in his breathing every time silence stretched too long between the two of you.
âReinerâŠâ His name left your mouth quietly, almost uncertain.
The sound of it nearly undid him. You saw it immediately in the way his jaw tightened. In the way his eyes closed briefly, like hearing you say his name like that again after all these years hurt more than he expected it to.
âI tried,â you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper now. âI really did.â
His gaze searched yours carefully. âTried what?â
Your throat tightened painfully. âTo move on.â
The words settled heavily between you.
Reiner stared at you for a long moment afterward without speaking. Then, quietly, âI know.â
God.
Something about the way he said it made your chest ache even harder, like he understood far more than you wanted him to.
âBut every time I heard something happened overseasâŠâ Your eyes dropped briefly before lifting back toward his again. âEvery time there was another report about soldiers not coming homeâŠâ Your voice weakened slightly. âIâd still wonder if you were alive.â
Reinerâs expression faltered almost immediately.
âAnd when years passed and nobody heard anything about youâŠâ A shaky breath left you quietly. âPart of me thought maybe waiting was crueler than letting go.â
Reinerâs eyes never left yours. âYou think I didnât try too?â he asked quietly. âThere were missions where I told myself I needed to forget you,â he admitted. âThought maybe itâd make things easier.â
A faint, humorless smile touched the corner of his mouth before disappearing just as quickly.
âIt never worked.â
The confession wrapped itself tightly around your chest. Reiner lowered his head slightly then, close enough now that you could feel the warmth of his breath every time he spoke.
âNo matter where I wasâŠâ His voice softened. âNo matter how bad things gotâŠâ His eyes searched yours again. âYou were always there.â
Reinerâs gaze flickered toward your mouth again, lingering there this time.
Waiting.
Asking.
And God, you wanted it.
That was the worst part.
After everything, after the years, after Colt, after convincing yourself you had survived losing him, you still wanted him close in the same devastating way you always had.
âYou have no idea how many times I imagined this,â he admitted quietly.
Your breath trembled. âReinâŠâ
His forehead nearly brushed yours now. âSo tell me to stop.â
The words came softer this time, you both already knew he wouldnât unless you asked him to. Your eyes closed briefly, and for one terrible second, you almost let it happen, almost let yourself fall back into him completely.
But reality came rushing back all at once.
Colt.
Your marriage.
The years between you.
The life you had already built trying to survive Reinerâs absence.
Your hand pressed lightly against Reinerâs chest before the distance disappeared entirely. âI canât.â
The words came out barely steady. Your breathing shook slightly as you forced yourself to look at him again. âI canât do this to him.â
The words barely left your mouth before the change in Reinerâs expression became visible, the quiet understanding mixed with something so deeply disappointed it made your chest ache.
For a second, neither of you moved. Reinerâs hands remained against your face, warm and steady despite the tension running through him. His thumbs brushed lightly against your skin once, almost instinctively, like he couldnât quite bring himself to let go yet. And honestly, neither could you.
The realization sat painfully inside your chest and Reiner let out a slow breath before lowering his forehead gently against yours. The contact nearly unraveled you completely. Your eyes closed for a brief second on instinct, your fingers tightening slightly around his wrists where you still held them against your face. It shouldâve felt like resistance. It shouldâve been you trying to stop this before it crossed a line neither of you could uncross.
Instead, it felt dangerously close to surrender.
âI figured.â Reiner said quietly, his voice sounded tired now.
That was what made this so impossible.
Reiner stayed there for another lingering second, forehead pressed lightly against yours, breathing unevenly enough that you could feel it every time the silence stretched.
âI swear I wasnât trying to make this harder for you,â he murmured softly.
Your chest tightened painfully. âYou didnât,â you whispered back immediately.
The response came too fast, too honest.
Reinerâs eyes opened slowly then, lifting toward yours from inches away.
âThatâs the problem,â you admitted quietly.
Something in his expression faltered again.
God.
You hated that look.
The one that made him seem less like the decorated soldier everyone respected and more like the same boy you loved years ago before the world ruined both of you differently.
Your fingers loosened slightly against his wrists before one hand slid upward unconsciously, brushing faintly against the back of his hand still cupping your face.
âI tried not to think about you,â you admitted after a while, your voice softer now. âAfter a few years, I thought maybe itâd finally get easier.â
Reiner gave the faintest shake of his head against yours. âDid it?â
A weak laugh almost escaped you then. âNo.â
âI knew it,â he murmured quietly.
You rolled your eyes slightly despite yourself, and somehow that only made the moment feel worse, more intimate, like the years between you suddenly disappeared for one terrifying second.
His thumbs brushed lightly along your cheeks once more before his gaze dropped toward your mouth again.
And God.
There it was again.
That unbearable pull between you.
The distance between your mouths had become almost nonexistent now, the tension so thick it felt impossible to breathe around it, uou could already feel yourself losing.
Then-
âWell,â a voice suddenly cut through the balcony, dry with amusement, âthis looks emotionally catastrophic.â
Both of you jumped apart so fast it was almost embarrassing. Your hands dropped from Reinerâs wrists immediately while Reiner took an abrupt step backward.
Standing near the balcony doorway was Zeke, holding a drink in one hand while staring at both of you with the exhausted expression of someone who had definitely seen far more than he was supposed to.
Silence.
Then Zeke looked between the two of you once.
Twice.
ââŠShould I come back after the unresolved sexual tension kills one of you?â
âOh my God,â you muttered instantly, mortified.
Beside you, Reiner dragged a hand roughly down his face. âZeke.â
You let out an actual laugh before you could stop yourself, the sound slipping out suddenly from somewhere beneath all the tension still crushing your chest. And somehow, that made everything worse, because Reiner looked at you immediately afterward, like hearing you laugh again after all these years nearly undid him more than anything else tonight.
You cleared your throat quickly before turning away first, moving back toward the railing and resting both arms against it like maybe pretending to admire the city would somehow erase what almost happened seconds ago.
Beside you, Reiner followed a second later, positioning himself against the railing too, though the tension radiating off him remained painfully obvious.
Zeke stared at both of you for another long second before he sighed dramatically. âThis balcony suddenly feels very divorced.â
YOUR POV
The apartment had gone quiet by the time you finally stepped out of the bathroom. Warm steam still clung faintly to your skin, following you into the dim bedroom as you adjusted the strap of your nightgown absentmindedly. The exhaustion from the evening lingered heavily in your body now, though it had nothing to do with the party itself.
Your chest still hadnât settled properly since the balcony.
Since Reiner.
God.
Even thinking his name now made something twist painfully inside you.
You exhaled slowly, trying to push the thoughts away before they swallowed you whole again.
The soft light from the living room spilled faintly into the hallway ahead, catching your attention immediately.
You frowned slightly.
Had Colt forgotten to turn it off?
Quietly, you stepped farther into the apartment, and stopped. The sight waiting for you in the living room caught you off guard enough that you almost smiled immediately.
Colt was still awake.
Or at least⊠partially.
He sat stretched across the sofa, clearly having intended to rest âfor a minuteâ before exhaustion won completely. His head leaned back against the cushions, eyes closed, broad shoulders visibly heavy beneath the loose uniform hanging slightly open at the collar. One arm rested along the back of the couch while the other remained on his thigh, fingers relaxed loosely against the fabric of his pants.
His legs were spread comfortably apart in the way tired soldiers always seemed to sit after unbearably long days.
Completely unaware of how unfairly attractive it made him look.
A quiet fondness settled inside your chest almost immediately.
After everything, Colt had always carried exhaustion like this, openly, honestly and without pretending he wasnât worn thin by the weight of things.
And tonight had been long, too long perhaps.
You stared at him for a second longer, your expression softening despite yourself. Part of you genuinely thought he had already fallen asleep sitting there.
Carefully, you walked around the back of the sofa, your fingers brushing lightly against the fabric as you moved closer behind him. Even now, Colt didnât stir immediately, his breathing slow and steady enough that you almost laughed quietly to yourself.
âYouâre gonna wake up sore tomorrow,â you murmured softly, though you doubted he heard you.
Slowly, your hands lifted toward his face. Your palms settled gently against his cheeks from behind, your thumbs brushing faintly along the light stubble there before you leaned down carefully. It was soft and brief, meant to wake him gently more than anything else, but the moment your lips touched his, Colt smiled against them almost immediately.
Your heart melted a little at that.
Still half-asleep, he lifted one arm lazily until his hand found your hair without hesitation, fingers sliding slowly through the strands before settling against the back of your head to keep you there another second longer.
You pulled back just enough to look at him, and Colt finally opened his eyes properly then, warm amusement already sitting there despite the exhaustion clouding them.
âThere you are,â he murmured quietly, his voice rough with sleep.
You smiled faintly at him, hands still resting against his cheeks while his fingers remained tangled loosely in your hair. âYou were supposed to be asleep already.â
âI was trying to wait for you.â The honesty in his tone made your chest soften immediately.
Colt let out a slow breath before finally sitting up properly, his hand slipping carefully from the back of your head down to your wrist. His fingers curled gently around your hand, warm and familiar, before he guided you around the side of the sofa toward him without letting go once. The movement felt unspoken and natural, like the two of you had done this countless times before.
You followed easily, your fingers still loosely intertwined with his as you moved around the couch until you stood directly in front of him. Colt leaned back slightly against the cushions, looking up at you with tired eyes softened by something unbearably affectionate.
God.
He looked exhausted. The kind of exhaustion that settled deep into soldiers after long days filled with too much noise, too many people, too many things expected from them at once. But the moment you stood in front of him, some of that heaviness seemed to ease.
His thumb brushed lightly against the back of your hand before he tugged gently. âCome here.â
Carefully, Colt guided you forward until you were standing between his legs. One of his hands settled against your waist while the other remained holding yours, helping you lower yourself slowly into his lap. The second you straddled him, the thin strap of your nightgown slipped carelessly down your shoulder. Colt noticed immediately. Without a word, he lifted his hand slowly to your shoulder, his fingers brushing lightly against your skin as he slid the strap carefully back into place. The touch sent warmth rushing through your chest. His hand lingered there afterward for one extra second longer than necessary.
âMy beautiful wife,â he murmured quietly.
The words settled somewhere deep inside you.
Your fingers moved instinctively into his hair then, combing slowly through the soft strands near the nape of his neck while Colt leaned into your touch almost immediately, eyes slipping closed for a brief moment.
You stared down at him quietly.
At the tiredness resting beneath his eyes.
At the faint shadows beneath them from sleepless nights and responsibilities neither of you ever talked about enough.
At the softness that only ever really appeared when the two of you were alone like this.
And suddenly, guilt twisted painfully inside your chest again.
Because Colt looked at you with such uncomplicated love.
Such certainty.
His hands settled more securely against your waist now, thumbs brushing absentmindedly along the fabric of your nightgown while his gaze lifted back toward yours again.
âYou okay?â he asked softly.
You smiled faintly, running your fingers through his hair again. âJust tired.â
âMmm.â His eyes studied your face carefully for another second before softening. âToday was a lot.â
That was an understatement. You looked away briefly with a quiet breath before nodding once. âIt was.â
His fingers traced slowly along your waist, soothing and unhurried, like he could already feel the tension still sitting inside your body.
âWe should probably sleep,â you murmured quietly after a moment.
The corner of his mouth twitched slightly. âProbably.â
But neither of you moved. Your fingers continued combing gently through his hair while Colt kept looking up at you with that same warm, exhausted affection that always made your chest ache in the softest way possible.
After a moment, he leaned forward slightly until his forehead rested lightly against your chest, his arms slipping more securely around your waist.
You felt him exhale slowly against you.
âTired,â he mumbled quietly.
You laughed softly under your breath, your hand sliding down to brush gently along the back of his neck. âI can tell.â
âMm. Donât make fun of me.â His voice came quieter now, sleepier. âIâm trying to be romantic.â
âThatâs your romantic face?â
âAbsolutely.â
Another laugh escaped you then, softer this time. You looked down at him quietly, fingers still combing through his hair while Colt stared up at you with that same tired softness slowly beginning to melt into something heavier.
âYou know,â you murmured softly, âfor someone supposedly exhausted, your hands seem pretty awake.â
A quiet laugh escaped him immediately, low and rough from sleep. âCan you blame me?â
His hands slid upward until his fingers hooked lightly beneath the thin straps resting on your shoulders. Your breath caught softly as he dragged them down just enough for the fabric to loosen against your skin. âYou show up looking like this and expect me to behave?â
Your brows lifted slightly despite the heat rising in your chest. âBehave?â you repeated. âYouâre currently holding your wife hostage on the couch.â
âMm.â Colt tilted his head slightly, pretending to consider it. âLegally, I think this counts as affection.â
âThat sounds made up.â
âIt absolutely is.â
There was something so unfairly gentle about him sometimes.
Colt looked at you for a second longer before one of his hands finally slipped down to your thigh, his palm settling there warmly beneath the thin fabric of your nightgown. His thumb moved slowly against your skin, caressing absentmindedly while his gaze stayed fixed on yours, heavy-lidded now with exhaustion and something softer sitting beneath it.
Wanting.
Your breath slowed slightly as his hand traveled higher.
His fingers slipped beneath the fabric entirely this time, dragging slowly upward along your thigh until his palm reached your hip. The movement pushed the material of your nightgown higher alongside it, bunching gradually against your skin as his touch continued upward toward your waist.
The warmth of his hand against your bare skin made your breathing catch quietly.
Colt noticed immediately.
Of course he did.
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth before his other hand joined the first, both palms smoothing slowly along your hips and waist now, dragging the loosened fabric higher with every lingering touch.
The tension between you shifted almost instantly after that.
No longer soft enough to pretend otherwise, his mouth met yours with enough force to pull a quiet breath from your chest immediately. Your hands moved instinctively, sliding quickly to the front of his uniform as your fingers fumbled against the buttons with growing impatience.
Colt kissed you like he already knew exactly how youâd respond to him.
Like he knew every sound you swallowed back against his mouth.
Every shift of your breathing.
Every small movement of your body pressing closer into his.
The loosened fabric of your nightgown slipped farther down your shoulders as his hands traveled upward again, smoothing along your sides before hooking more securely against the material itself.
Your mouth barely separated from his long enough to breathe properly before he pulled the gown upward slowly, his palms dragging against your skin underneath as the fabric lifted higher between the two of you.
Your fingers worked impatiently at the front of his uniform, fumbling with the buckles and straps between kisses until Colt finally helped tug the heavy fabric down from his shoulders himself, letting it loosen enough beneath your hands.
By then, your nightgown had already been abandoned somewhere on the floor beside the couch.
Neither of you cared where.
Coltâs hands moved over your bare skin immediately afterward, warm and familiar as they settled along your waist before sliding lower, gripping your ass firmly enough to pull a quiet breath from your chest.
The look he gave you afterward nearly unraveled you completely.
Heavy-lidded.
Wanting.
Completely focused on you.
His grip tightened slightly against your hips as he lifted you just enough to position you over him properly, the tip of him pressing against you while his eyes stayed fixed on your face the entire time like he didnât want to miss a single reaction.
âJust like that,â he murmured softly.
One of his hands slid along your waist while the other guided your hips down slowly, steady and deliberate as he eased you onto him inch by inch.
The stretch pulled a sharp breath from your chest immediately, your lips parting as your head tipped back for a second, fingers clutching tighter against his shoulders instinctively while your body adjusted to the feeling of him.
Colt let out a low breath at the sight of you like that, his hands holding your hips firmly as he leaned closer again.
âThere you go,â he murmured against your mouth, voice rough with satisfaction. âAtta girl.â
REINER'S POV
The shower is running too hot, but Reiner doesnât bother adjusting it. He stands under the water like heâs trying to outlast something in his own head, one hand planted against the tile wall, fingers spread and pressing hard enough to steady him. The other drags back through his damp hair once in a rough, frustrated motion before falling still again, like he immediately regrets trying to reset himself.
It doesnât help. If anything, it makes it worse, because the second he stops focusing on the physical sensation of the water, everything else comes rushing back.
You.
Earlier.
The way you looked at him.
The way the moment between you lingered just slightly too long, like something passed between you without words and heâs been stuck replaying it ever since, trying to decide if it was real or just something he imagined.
âFuckâŠâ he mutters under his breath, barely audible under the water. Somehow, his free hand found its way down to his length. He massages his cock like as if the pressure alone can force his thoughts into order.
It doesnât. Itâs not just the memory of you, itâs the way his mind keeps rearranging it when he stops resisting.
How close you stood.
How your attention felt like it locked onto him for a second longer than usual.
And then, without meaning to, his thoughts twist it.
Not Colt.
Him.
He sees it differently now, the way his mind betrays him when heâs alone with it. The kind of attention that makes his chest tighten in a way he doesnât immediately have a name for.
Reiner exhales sharply and tilts his head forward into the stream of water, trying to cut the image off before it builds further.
But it doesnât stop.
It never stops cleanly.
His hand presses harder into the tile wall, like heâs grounding himself against something real while his mind keeps constructing things he never asked for. Scenarios he shouldnât be thinking about. Moments that didnât happen, but feel too easy for him to picture anyway.
âDonâtâŠâ he starts again, quieter this time, like heâs warning himself more than commanding anything.
The water keeps running. Steam thickens in the air. His reflection in the glass is blurred and indistinct, which is almost merciful.
His breathing becomes heavier as he strokes his length in a certain rhythm, his imagination doing it's wonders.
But even as he stands there, trying to steady himself at least, thereâs a realization settling in under everything else.
Itâs not just that youâre in his head.
Itâs that the version of you his mind keeps reaching for⊠always seems to end up with him closer than heâs willing to admit.
And thatâs the part he doesnât know how to shut off.
table of contents | masterlist | feudal eldia au | cross posted to ao3
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The first time Reiner shows up looking for you, itâs late in the afternoon after a training session. Heâs taken the time to wash himself first and change into something a bit more presentable. You can smell the lingering masculine aroma of his heated skin beneath the clean scent of soap.
Itâs not a surprise that heâs at your door. The elders have been arranging a series of planned outings for the two of you to be seen together in public. But when he suggests a quiet stroll through the gardens before dinner, you hadnât expected something so impromptu.
The resulting walk starts out unbearably awkward. Neither of you can seem to think of the right thing to say. A chaperone trails you several paces behind, boots crunching in the gravel as you trade inconsequential details about each other that feel embarrassingly shallow.
âUh, youâ,â Reiner begins, rubbing the back of his neck. âYou seem to like, uhm⊠flowers?â
He winces internally. Was that really the best he could come up with? You feel a smile tug at the corner of your mouth.
âYes, Reiner,â you say. âI do like flowers. Like most people, I suppose.â
âI just thoughtâ,â he gestures vaguely to the neat rows of flower beds lining the path. âYou were looking at the roses during the ceremony.â
âAh, yes,â you say with a nod. âTheyâre nice. I prefer the winter blooms, though. Delphinium, crocus, those kinds of flowers.â
Reiner nods dumbly before he remembers he should probably just be honest. âI donât really know that much about flowers.â
You let out a soft laugh that sounds so unlike anything heâs ever heard from you. Reiner almost stops in his tracks, warmth spreading in his chest.
âI gathered as much,â you say, giving him a sidelong glance. âNot exactly required learning for an Inheritor, is it?â
âNot really,â he mutters. âMore familiar with mud than gardens, I guess.â
You tilt your head musingly. âMud has its uses, too. If you know what to do with it.â
Reiner blinks, at a loss. âLike⊠for patching roofs?â he offers lamely.
This time, you laugh outright, finding his attempts surprisingly endearing. Reinerâs heart thumps in his chest.
âI was thinking more along the lines of sculpting or pottery,â you explain. âBut yes, I suppose roofing works, too.â
He chuckles, feeling a bit more at ease now that heâs managed to amuse you, even if itâs at his own expense. The garden is bathed in the warm light of the setting sun, the air carrying the faint scent of freshly-turned earth. Reiner steals a glance at you, trying to work up the nerve to ask something more meaningful.
âSo, uh, do you actually like any of these outings theyâve been planning?â he asks, surprising even himself with the question.
Youâve shown up together to formal family dinners, attended performances on the grounds of the estate. All orchestrated appearances, courtesy of the clan elders for the sake of public interaction. Theyâre not exactly the kind of outings that facilitate any informal discussions between you.
âTo be honest, I find them a bit stifling,â you admit, lowering your voice slightly. âBut itâs necessary, isnât it? For appearances.â
Reiner nods slowly. âYeah. I guess so. Necessary,â he echoes.
You stop and turn to face him. âAnd you? Do you like it?â
Heâs caught off guard by the hint of a challenge in your tone. âIâI donât mind it,â he says after a moment. Then, after seeing the skepticism in your expression, he adds, âI mean, itâs a lot better than sparring with Porco.â
Your lips pull into a smile that youâre trying and failing to temper. You huff out a small laugh through your nose. âI imagine sparring with Porco is less confusing.â
âHonestly? Iâm not sure about that,â Reiner says, pleased that he seems to have broached past the cold distance between you.
Subsequent meetings manage to transpire more smoothly than the first. Youâre continually bemused by the choice of activities Reiner manages to come up with for the two of you to share. He invites you out for a horseback ride through the estate grounds the second time. The fresh air is enjoyable, and the ride acts as a good butter during the natural lulls in their conversation.
Youâre particularly impressed when he chooses to ask if he can join you for archery practice once. When Reiner shows up at the range, clad in a simple yet crisply fitted uniform, you donât know quite what to expect. Heâs all broad shoulders and stern focus, which you assume will make him stubbornly competitive when it comes to a skill that doesnât involve brute strength.
Youâve seen it beforeâthe way soldiers bristle when they realize your aim is more precise than theirs. Itâs practically a sport in itself for you to watch their pride wither under your calm instructions. But Reiner surprises you.
âAre you sure you wanna do this?â you ask as he sets his uniform tunic aside and rolls up his sleeves. âItâs not exactly like throwing a punch.â
He grins, though you notice the telltale signs that heâs nervous. The way his eyes flit a little and his feet canât stay still. âI might as well give it a shot. Iâm already here, arenât I?â
âAlright,â you say, handing him a bow. âLetâs see what youâve got.â
As expected, his first few shots go wide, the arrows thunking into the grass beyond the target. Reiner huffs in frustration but doesnât stomp away or throw down the bow like you half-expected. Instead, he turns to you with a sheepish grin.
âGuess Iâve got a lot to learn.â
You give him a flat look. âArchery requires strength, but you also need patience. A steady hand.â You pause, noticing the way he seems to be shifting his weight uncomfortably under your scrutiny. âA clear mind.â
Reiner furrows his brow. âClear mind, huh? Iâll try,â he murmurs, attempting to adjust his stance.
âHere,â you say, stepping up behind him. Youâre used to this, to guiding people and correcting their posture. But with Reiner, thereâs a strange tension, a coiling in your stomach as you come to stand behind his burly frame.
Heâs stripped down to just his plain white undershirt. The fabric of it is thin enough to display the flexing of his swollen muscles beneath, and the hem clings to the band of his trousers where itâs been carefully tucked in at his comparatively narrow waist. You tell yourself to remember to breathe.
âYour feet are too close together. Widen your stance a little.â
He does as instructed, shifting his heavy boots a bit further apart and drawing your eyes to the backs of his thick, robust thighs. Your throat runs dry as you place your hands lightly on his shoulders.
âRelax,â you say, though perhaps youâre telling yourself as much as him. âYouâre too tense. The bow isnât going to bite you.â
Reiner chuckles at that, and you can practically feel the low, nervous sound vibrating through his chest. âEasier said than done.â
You peer up at the sliver of his strong profile visible to you. Maybe youâve never noticed before, but the line of his jaw could cut glass. Thereâs a whisper of rosiness at the tops of his cheeks. Are you making him bashful? The prospect lights a spark at the base of your belly.
âItâs all about control,â you say, leaning in closer to adjust the angle of his elbow and wrist. You notice the way his breath catches at your contact with his warmth.
He nods like heâs absorbing your words, and perhaps he really is trying to be serious about this, not just pretending. You step back to ease his nerves, in case your closeness is actually affecting his focus. Reiner draws the bowstring again, this time a little slower and more deliberately. When he releases, the arrow flies true, striking just outside the center of the target.
âBetter,â you say with a genuine smile. âYouâre a quick learner.â
âYouâre a good teacher,â he says, turning to look at you almost reverently. âI didnât thinkâI thought this was just something you did for⊠I donât know, appearances. But youâre really good at this.â
At first, he thinks heâs messed up. Your brows lift like youâre taken aback. Reiner swiftly opens his mouth to emphasize his sincerity.
âIâm just good at it because I practiced,â you reply softly. âI wasnât born with perfect aim.â
âRight,â he says. âI get that. I mean, I wasnât born strong either. It was a lot of work. Messing up, getting up, trying again.â
You understand that more than you can put into words. Youâve both put in a lot of work, poured long hours into becoming who you are today. Youâve recognized for a while now that Reinerâs more than just a muscle-bound dolt, ready to nod his head and obey every order his commanding officers bark at him. But now, youâre starting to wonder if maybe youâre a lot more alike than you initially believed.
The sun is beginning to set, casting a golden light over the estate and painting Reinerâs blond hair and peachy skin in a warm wash. You find yourself almost regretting the arrival of the chaperone, who clears her throat and reminds you that dinner will be served soon. Reiner thanks you for teaching him before he heads back toward the wardsâ wing of the estate, leaving you alone and feeling a bit astonished.
The following meeting is one you initiate yourself, a week before the engagement ceremony is set to take place. Reinerâs been nervous plenty of times in his life, but heâs never understood when people said they got butterflies in their stomach. Until, that is, he opens the small, neatly folded message delivered to him from the main estate.
Inside, the note is simple and to the point, written in a precise hand. Join me for tea tomorrow afternoon, east courtyard. Thereâs no flower preamble, no explanation, just your name signed at the bottom. Reiner rereads it over a few times, much to his own embarrassment, before folding the note and carefully rucking it away.
He makes his way through the grounds the next afternoon, winding through cobblestone paths lined with manicured hedges. The air smells faintly of woodsmoke and damp fallen leaves. As he approaches the east courtyard, he finds it quieter than the bustling parts of the estate heâs grown accustomed to.
Here, the trees are just beginning to turn a soft mix of yellow and orange. The courtyard itself is sheltered with ivy-covered walls and a trickling fountain at the center. Youâre already waiting there, seated at a laughably small table near the fountain. Youâre dressed more simply than usual when youâre not in your training attire, your hair loose and tumbling over her shoulders instead of pinned up elaborately.
The sight makes you seem more approachable than heâs perhaps ever seen you, even back when you were children. Reiner pauses a moment, feeling like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. He has to collect himself before he strides forward.
âYou came,â you say, looking up. He canât read your expression, but you sound mildly pleased.
âOf course,â he replies. âThanks for the invitation.â
You nod, gesturing for him to take the seat across from you. The table is already set with delicate porcelain cups and a pot of fragrant tea. You pour for both of you, your movements fluid and practiced. Reiner catches himself staring at your fingers for a second too long, wondering if he can come up with an excuse for you to touch him with them again.
You both take your first sip in silence, listening to the distant sound of birds and the faint rustle of leaves in the breeze. The peacefulness of the courtyard feels tinged with the ever-present tension of the upcoming ceremony. You set your cup down with a sigh.
âI imagine your scheduleâs been quite demanding with preparations for the ceremony on top of all your usual duties,â you say, as if youâve read his mind.
âIt has been,â Reiner admits. Though, the truth is, heâs grateful for the distraction. Busywork keeps his mind off the growing anxiety he feels about the future. His future with you. âI expect itâs been just as hectic for you.â
âYou have no idea,â you say. âThe elders have endless opinions on every detail. I think Iâve been asked about the floral arrangements at least three times today alone.â
Reiner shakes his head with a chuckle. âThat sounds exhausting.â
âIt is,â you agree, absently tracing the handle of your teacup. Your eyes flick up to him with a more serious expression. âReiner, I donât think thereâs any point in playing coy.â
He stiffens and frowns, your meaning lost on him. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, it might as well be official now. After the ceremony next week, everything will be set in stone,â you say bluntly. âWeâll be married.â
You speak steadily despite the swirling unease inside you. But this was what you had invited him here to discuss. Dancing around the inevitability feels ridiculous. Youâre both adults, after all. You ought to be able to talk about it.
âO-oh. Yeah, thatâI guess so,â Reiner stammers, still unsure of what youâre getting at. âDonât worry. I know youâve been preparing for this far longer than I have, but Iâm ready. Or at least, Iâm ready to do what I need to do, you know?â
A flicker of surprise runs through you. You stare at him for a second. Then, you let out a short, quiet giggle. He looks utterly nonplussed by your reaction. All he means to say is that heâs ready to protect you, to protect this clan.
âThatâs nice, Reiner,â you say. âSo, can I take that to mean youâre experienced?â
âExperienced?â he repeats obtusely, studying you. Then, he jolts, eyes wide and face exploding with heat.
âWith women,â you clarify plainly.
âIâI get it,â he says, flapping his hands in front of him.
But you donât stop yet because, frankly, his scandalized reaction is too delightfully amusing. âShould I assume that you arenât, then?â
Reiner flounders hard. He doesnât know why his tongue feels so twisted up. The answer is really quite simple. Heâs had about as much experience as can be expected of a ward of an elite clan. A soldier shouldering the expectations of his familyâwith the little time, energy, and privacy that afforded him.
âIâve had enough,â he manages, though he wonders what exactly is the right answer here. If there even is one, or if the question posed by you was a trap from the beginning.
Your fingers tap out a light rhythm on your lap as you consider his words. Likely, Reiner has been largely too blinded by his singular goal over the years for any substantial relationships. If heâs familiar with any of the steps to this particular dance, you figure heâs got nothing more than a few hurried encounters in shadowed corridors or pitch-black tents.
Which is a shame because you think heâd be rather popular if he only had the time for such pursuits. Decorated soldier, rugged good looks, dreamy eyes.
âIâll be the judge of that,â you decide, crossing one leg over the other.
Reiner glances away, still tinged pink. Heâs struggling to come up with how exactly to handle the strange turn your conversation has taken before it veers into dangerous territory. Before his head fills with thoughts thatâll make it hard for him to look you in the eye again.
Something slides against his calf, and he realizes itâs your foot. Reiner startles, and his knee accidentally bumps into the underside of the table. The resulting clatter of the porcelain ware seems to echo off the walls louder than it should have. His gaze darts around wildly in the desperate hope that there arenât any nosy chaperones spying on them from the hedges.
When he looks back, you smile at him coyly from across the small table, and he feels extremely lame. You must think him pathetic, unable to keep his composure or show due restraint around a noble member of the clan he serves.
âJust not your type, huh?â you say, your smile fading just slightly. Your foot drops away from his leg. âI could have swornâwell, nevermind. Itâs alright.â
Reiner feels his jaw drop. Shit. Heâs really messed up now.
âNo! Thatâs not it,â he says hastily, rising up and leaning over the table a little in his insistence. âYouâyouâre beautiful. Iâm justâŠâ
He trails off, opening and closing his mouth once. Heâs just what? Technically, heâs a Ritter now, even if he still has to remind himself every morning. You stare up at him expectantly.
Reiner takes a deep breath and tries again. âThere are rules. Proprietyâ,â
Youâre not so much thinking as you are acting on impulse when you surge up to cut him off. Reinerâs lips just looked so plush and inviting that before you knew it, you were on your feet and capturing his mouth with yours over the table between you. Teacups and spoons clink against their saucers again as you press your lips to his.
Reiner inhales sharply the moment you connect, eyes wideâbut he doesnât pull away. Maybe, heâs too stunned to move, frozen in place by his shock or the softness of your lips. For a long moment, you donât move either. You just stay there, applying steady pressure, your eyes lightly closed.
When you do move, itâs to take his bottom lip between yours. Reiner chokes back a groan, every nerve ending alight. Even though only your mouths are touching, heâs surprisingly sensitive, shivering at every catch of your supple skin and the hot, wet flick of your tongue tip. He fists his hands at his sides, worried that if he reaches for you, you might slip through his fingers like water.
You take the initiative he doesnât, delving a hand into the shorter hair at the back of his head. Reiner realizes only when you urge him a little closer that heâs just been standing there stiffly. Not wanting you to think him deficient, he finally tilts his head and kisses you back, plucking at your mouth with his lips.
The table edge bites into the fronts of his thighs, but he no longer pays any mind to the rattling and tinkling of the tea set as he drifts the fingertips of one hand to gently rest at your jaw. You take his reciprocation as encouragement and lick your way into his mouth. A shudder racks Reinerâs frame at the sting of your fingers tightening in his hair.
Heâs overcome with the sense that youâre not close enough. He needs to gather you into him, feel your warmth pressed against home without the obstruction of the table. But just as quickly as your lips were on him, you pull away.
Your hair remains in his hair, and his fingers are still on your face as you remain there for a few seconds just looking at each other. You take in his parted lips, flushed and a little puffy as he catches his breath, and the heaviness of his lids over darkened hazel eyes. So, you havenât misread things, but instead of satisfaction, you feel the overwhelming urge to squeeze your legs together at the tight coil of desire forming there.
Reinerâs voice comes out as a low rumble as he murmurs your name. âWhat do you want?â
âHonestly?â you breathe, a wave of boldness swelling inside you. âI want to take you to bed.â
His throat bobs, swallowing his lust. âWe shouldnât.â
You pout, releasing your hold of his hair to drag your fingers over his firm shoulder. âWhy not? Weâre engaged.â
âNot yet,â Reiner points out, covering your hand with his large palm and carefully prying it off. Gently, he lowers it to your side and straightens, gritting his teeth at the slight ache in his lower back. âWeâre not engaged yet.â
Your pout shifts into a frown as you regain your proud posture, haughty mask slipping back into place. It isnât a snub, not really. But it feels like one. You smooth down the front of your blouse and clasp your hands together primly.
âVery well. After weâre engaged, then,â you say.
The words sit for a brief while before they sink in, and Reinerâs pulse quickens.
âThatâs not what Iâ,â he snaps his mouth shut as you lift your eyebrow. To say he doesnât want you would be a lie. He chews the inside of his lip and nods. âAfter weâre engaged.â
Your frown melts into a teasing smirk that makes Reiner squirm. âYouâre far too easy to fluster. Iâll have to remember that.â
He rubs the back of his neck, willing the heat in his face to subside. âIâm not usuallyâŠâ
Thereâs no point in trying to defend himself, so he just trails off instead. Youâve already seen through him entirely, and youâre clearly enjoying it. Before Reiner can attempt a change in subject, the sound of deliberate footsteps crunching on gravel catches your attention.
âI believe itâs time to wrap up,â says a firm voice.
Reiner sighs, turning to face the newcomerâone of your chaperones, an older unmarried aunt with a perpetual air of disapproval. Heâd been wondering when one would rear their head.
âThere are still preparations to attend to,â she says, eyes narrowing at Reiner.
Youâre already a perfect picture of ladylike composure beside him, stepping away from the table. Not a hint of mischief betrays you as you address the chaperone.
âOf course,â you reply smoothly before offering Reiner a small smile. It could almost be read as innocent if not for the glimmer of amusement in your eyes. âThank you for joining me, Reiner.â
Then, you step past him, leaving him to stew in discomfort with the chaperone. Reiner watches you leave, his mind spinning and his lips tingling faintly. The chaperone looks at him exasperatedly, her lips thinning.
synopsis: jack abbot is obsessed with you and he's going to make it everybody else's problem
- or -
5 moments the night shift (and co) observes between you and jack + the 1 they don't
contains: bsf night shift crew!! dana & the pittlings cameo, he fell first AND he fell harder, age gap (reader is in her 20's), suggestive at times, everyone calls reader sweets, no use of y/n, jack is probably ooc but i refuse to believe that man does not yearn deeply and he is written so, and most importantly: NIGHT SHIFT SUPREMACY
note: first fic for the pitt because i think i might have actually read my way through every fic on here and i crave more pls be nice to me :') this started off as a completely different fic and then it became this instead so there's a half written part 2 (and a part 3 âŠ) if anyone really wants it. yes i did write this instead of the giant piles of actual work i have to do i hope you enjoy <3
dividers by @uzmacchiato <3
1. The Crush
Itâs been exactly one week since you joined the night shift. Six days, twenty three hours, and thirty one minutes technically speaking but who was counting.Â
In that time youâd made yourself indispensable. You were one of the most competent nurses to ever walk through the doors of the PTMC. You were practically hard wired to thrive in the absolute chaos of the night. And, best of all, youâd become Shenâs caffeine addicted partner in crime. Five out of your last seven days youâd dragged him into a pre-shift coffee run and he always complied with your demands.Â
The night shift wasnât easy for just anyone to take to. It was hard and yet here you were, doing it all flawlessly. And Jack couldnât look away. Not that heâd ever want to.Â
Itâd taken no time at all, about five hours into your first shift, for him to become borderline obsessed. All it took was one conversation in the ambulance bay just after midnight. A joke cracked under the light of the full moon, one that broke through the stern expression heâd had on with no hesitation at all, for Jack to want to know every single little detail that made up who you were.Â
In a normal way of course.Â
Now here he was. Watching. Eyes following you as you walked into the ED beside Shen, both of you carrying trays piled high with various hot and iced drinks. He canât imagine how much even one of those things cost.Â
Within moments most of the drinks are gone, taken by Ellis and Lena and whoever else had placed their order with the two of you the night before. Jack, for just a moment, regrets not having done so. Not that he even likes the sugary sweet monstrosities you always chug your way through before midnight, always somehow armed with another one to get you through your second half of the night.Â
Heâd pretend though. Especially if it meant youâd stop and smile at him and maybe even talk to him for just a couple seconds about something not medicine related before diving into the mayhem.Â
âHey!â Your voice isnât a hallucination, Jack determines when he sees you walking up to him with a smile.Â
He tries not to look too surprised. Or flustered. Or excited. âHi.â
Nailed it.
âI brought you something.â
Jack thinks he might melt into the floor.Â
You hold out a drink, one clearly meant for him. Itâs green on top and pink on bottom with strawberry slices floating above the ice.Â
âYou didnât have to.â He takes it from you and relishes in the brief moment that his hand touches yours. You need to calm down, he thinks to himself.Â
âI know, I wanted to. Itâs on me.â You say it so easily and Jack thinks now might be a good time to excuse himself and go jump off the roof because he can feel his whole body warming in a way it shouldnât be at the sentiment.Â
Youâd thought of him. Part of him wonders how long youâd been doing that for and if it was for as long as heâd been thinking of you. Day and night. Hour after hour. In ways he definitely shouldnât be.
âI just figured you could use a little caffeine that wasnât the stale black coffee in the break room for once,â You shrug like itâs nothing but it means everything to him. âAs a certified drink specialist I thought you might like this one. Shen said I was crazy for picking it but I spent every minute I was awake looking through the cafe's menu debating and I think I finally narrowed down something to live up to your incredibly high standards.â
Jack had stopped listening as soon as you looked up at him. Wide eyed and a little nervous but with that sweet smile he was maybe just a little bit obsessed with already. âWhat is it?âÂ
Frankly, he didnât really care. Heâd love it no matter what because youâd been the one to hand it to him. Youâd put effort into finding something you thought heâd like and that was more than enough for him.
âAn iced strawberry oat milk matcha. Itâs not too sweet but definitely a step up from a black coffee. I,â You stop yourself for a second, hesitating a little. One look from him though, one that practically begged you to continue, and you kept going. âI see the face you make when you drink it even when itâs fresh so I thought weâd switch it up a little.â
Youâd noticed him. He was one more observation away from imploding. He swirled the drink around to distract himself from the fact and then took a huge gulp.Â
âHoly shit,â His eyes went wide as he took a second to savor the drink. It was good. Really good. He had no clue how youâd figured him out so perfectly. Part of him was hopeful enough to think that you just knew him. Saw him. He took another sip.Â
âYou like it?â You were beaming at him now, satisfied and proud of yourself.Â
He couldnât be more obsessed with you if he tried. He was tempted to propose marriage right then and there. Instead all he said was, âThis is phenomenal.âÂ
Jack couldnât help himself. He looked directly at you and hoped that maybe these abilities of yours to read him perfectly well extended past the drinks and youâd be able to look into his head to see what he really wanted to say. Youâre phenomenal. I like you. Probably more than is healthy. Never leave me, actually.
âOh youâre kidding,â Jack had almost forgotten where he was until Shen walked over, handing you a half drunk iced coffee along with a fresh one for later, just like usual. âHe liked it?âÂ
âJust like I said,â You held up your hand for a high five, which Shen gave you despite dropping his head and groaning. âWhich means youâre buying for me tomorrow.â
Jack rolled his eyes at the sight of the two of you. His smile pushed through the serious facade he was trying to put on. Nothing could ruin his mood right now he was positive of it.
âIs it that surprising?â Jack held his drink a little tighter and held back the urge to take another sip of it. He was seriously already starting to understand your guys' shared obsession with always having some kind of drink on you.
âNo, itâs just,â Shen paused for a moment and it hit him all at once. Abbot was in a good mood. And all itâd taken was a personal delivery straight from you. He was wearing a smile, a genuine one. Best of all, his eyes kept straying back to you. Like you were some kind of magnet pulling him in against his will. Oh yeah, heâs obsessed. âIâm glad you found something you like.â
Jack heard it. The tone. His eyes snapped back to Shen and narrowed the slightest bit. All he did in response was wink at him and take a sip of his first coffee of the night.Â
He could see right through him.
2. The Confession
It had been three days of this and every time Jack saw you he felt the question at the tip of his tongue. And every time something else came out instead. So here he was. Two weeks into your time here and he was obsessed with you. That much he could admit.Â
If he wasnât he wouldnât be lingering by the nurses desk, pretending to look at a stack of papers he was pretty sure were blank. Every few seconds he glances up to where you were deep in a conversation with Ellis and Walsh. The three of you had gotten yourself partnered on the same case and were taking advantage of the fact that your patient was doing perfectly after surgery to actually talk about something normal while you could since you found yourselves with a little downtime.
âYou donât have to hover, you know.â
Jack freezes.Â
He thinks he mightâve actually stopped breathing. He knows exactly what Lenaâs talking about though and heâs determined to lie his way through it.
âWhat?â
Okay, maybe not the best start. He doesnât look up from where heâs pretending to flip through whatever papers were in front of him. Definitely not eavesdropping.Â
âOh, please,â Lena rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair. âSheâs not gonna disappear into thin air. You can get work done and I promise sheâll be there after.â
âI donât know what you mean.â Jack betrays himself when he glances back over in your direction. He smiles to himself when he sees you laugh, a beaming grin on your face. When he looks back towards Lena sheâs already staring at him with her arms crossed.
âI think you just might be the world's worst liar,â Lena leans forward conspiratorially. Her voice drops when she asks, âSo when are you gonna ask her on a date instead of moping around?â
Jack freezes again, âWhat are you talking about?â
âSeriously?â She lets out a disbelieving laugh at his bad attempt at faking innocence. âYouâre worse than a kid with their first crush, itâs a miracle she hasnât noticed yet.â
Okay so maybe she had a point, Jack could admit that much. He remembers the first time heâd seen you here clearly. Heâd felt some kind of pull towards you the moment you entered the PTMC just over a year ago. Itâd been easy to ignore then, though. Youâd just graduated and had been doing an emergency medicine residency program under Dana during the day shift and it was only every now and then heâd be there at the same time too. Yet every time he did happen to work with you, even for a fleeting moment, it was like the entire place shifted a little bit.
Dana had even stopped him one time, so casually that he hadnât even questioned why she was calling him. âYou better watch yourself, Abbot. Thatâs my girl, best one to come through here in ages. Last thing she needs is you distracting her.â
Heâd scoffed at the statement at the time, claiming that it wasnât like that. It had been exactly like that, though. He knew that now. Youâd been easy to avoid when you were on day shift but now you were here all the time and he couldnât imagine not finding every reason he could to stick to your side.Â
âSheâs not one of yours, you know. Sheâs one of mine,â Lenaâs voice brings him out of it. Thereâs an I told you so look on her face that he rolls his eyes at. âIâm just saying, the paperwork will be a lot easier to fill out.â
âArenât you a romantic,â He knows he can trust Lena, though. If it was really a bad idea sheâd tell him so with zero hesitation. So finally, hesitantly, he says, âIâll think about it.â
***
Jack barely needed time to think about it. He had made his choice quickly and it was eating him up inside. It was just past 7 AM and he could hear the day shift and night shift looking for you both. His time with you was running out and fast. It was just the two of you alone in the room, your patient had just miraculously gotten a bed upstairs and youâd been there to ensure a smooth transition. Maybe that was his sign that youâd say yes.Â
He stops you before you can pull the curtain open to let them know the room was now open. He reaches for your hand, grabs your waist, and spins you around to look at him in a single swift move. âWhen can I see you again?âÂ
The question doesnât phase you.
âIn about twelve hours.â You answer him with a teasing smile, choosing to stay just a little bit too close to him instead of stepping back.Â
âYou know what I mean, honey.â
And then you look at him in a way thatâs new. Your smile turns less teasing and falls a bit. It makes you look a little more vulnerable. He watches your eyes flicker across his face and he knows youâre trying to see what heâs really made of. If he really means it. He wants to shout the truth to you in that moment. That he canât get enough of you.
âSay it,â Your voice comes out soft and he wonders briefly if you can read his mind. You step a little bit closer to him. âTell me what you really want from me.â
Jack is painfully aware of the voices and footsteps coming closer. Theyâll walk in any moment now, he knows it. He glances towards the door and when he looks back he can see you about to step away, thinking he wasnât going to tell you the truth. He blurts it out before you can.Â
âEverything.â He says it so easily that it makes your breath hitch a little bit, he can see it happen. âI want to take you on a real date again and then take you home with me because you will not believe how hard it is to sleep without you next to me. When I wake up I want to just lay there looking at you for a little bit wondering how the hell you agreed to all of that. And then I want to do that over and over again until you get sick of me.â
You donât say anything after his confession. A few seconds pass where you just let the words sink in and then, âOnly if your plan includes taking me to that cute little cafe down the street too.âÂ
âWhenever you want.â Jackâs never agreed to anything so fast in his life.
âRight answer,â You finally will yourself to step away and swing the curtain open. Before you walk away you look at him again and the teasing smile is back. âIâll meet you outside in a bit?âÂ
He walks towards you again and heâs really pushing it when he stands so close you can feel the heat of him. âOdds we can sneak out of here before they can stop us?âÂ
âAbbot!â Dana's voice.
You laugh at the way he groans as his head falls onto your shoulder briefly. âNot likely.â
3. The Kiss
Itâd only taken a month for everything the night shift knew about Jack to change. It had also been a month since youâd joined them. The two things had to be related. They just couldnât prove it yet.Â
âHey,â Ellis whispered as she practically ran to where Shen and Lena were deep in a conversation. There was an uneasy look in her eyes as she looked around, as if she was expecting someone to overhear what she was about to say. âIs he being weird?âÂ
They look towards where she had subtly nodded and found Jack. He was in an exam room laughing with a patient as he finished stitching him up. Laughing.Â
Night shift chief attending Dr. Jack Abbot was in a good mood. For the first time maybe ever, as far as they knew. At least publicly in a good mood. He was never like this at work, always opting for serious and stoic with his patients because he needed to be at a job like this.Â
But this was his third patient in a row now that he made easy conversation with. It was a lot more than pleasantries and small talk, it was real conversations. Questions about themselves and their lives and jokes traded back and forth. It was unsettling, frankly.Â
âThank you! I told you something was up with him,â Shen slams a hand down on the counter before looking at Lena and leaning forward the same way Ellis was, mocking concern. â Have we tested him for any substance use lately?âÂ
âAlright drama queens,â Lena rolls her eyes at them and leans back in her chair. âWhy canât he just be having a good night?âÂ
Ellis shakes her head at that, nose scrunching as she disagrees, âNo, I think he might actually be physically incapable of that.âÂ
âWell what do you think it is then?âÂ
âI think he got laid,â She says it confidently and with zero hesitation at all. Shen chokes on his drink and Lenaâs eyes go wide as saucers. âWhat? Heâs all glowy and shit, there is literally no other explanation?â
âExplanation for what?â Your voice comes out of nowhere and Ellis and Shen nearly jump out of their skin.Â
âFor,â Ellis recovers faster and quickly glances at Lena and Shen, neither of which provide any help. âFor why Shenâs guy in south 18 is really concussed.â
âOh heâs having an affair with his neighbor for sure,â You set your tablet down and swipe your badge along the card reader at one of the computers. âThis guy shows up with his pants backwards, shirt inside out, and his left shoe missing and he expects us to believe he just tripped while on a late night walk?â
Itâs at that moment that Shen notices it. Thereâs no iced coffee in your usual place. Itâs always right there, tucked in the corner of the desk Lena sits behind. You always reach for it every time youâre nearby, itâs how you make your way through it faster than almost anyone else. He watches carefully as you reach in that exact direction subconsciously before pulling your hand back. Empty.
âWhereâs your drink?â He blurts the question out suddenly and you glance up at him.
âWhat?â
âYour drink,â He glances at Ellis and Lena and they can see the real question in his eyes. âYou always leave it right there. Itâs barely nine, thereâs no way youâve had enough downtime to finish it already.â
âOh,â You go back to the computer screen and shrug. âI just woke up late, didnât have time to stop.â
âRight,â Shenâs eyes narrow at you but he doesnât say anything else. Thatâs when he notices Jack leave his patient's room and walk in the direction of the break room. âHey, my second one is in the fridge if you want it?â
You sit up instantly and immediately a little bit of life fills you again. So maybe you both had a little bit of an addiction. âSeriously?âÂ
âYeah, donât worry about it.â And thatâs all he has to say before youâre making a beeline to the break room, steps faltering just the slightest bit when you see Jack disappear through the door. Then you glance back at them, smile, and disappear in the same direction.
âNo,â Shen shakes his head immediately. âIt's a coincidence. Thereâs no way.â
âAnd what makes you so sure?â Lena, admittedly, is invested now.Â
âUh, because Sweets is my best friend in the whole wide world and would have told me obviously,â He rolls his eyes like it's obvious. âPlus thereâs no way Abbot would admit how deep he is in his feelings already. Heâs due for at least another couple weeks of yearning from afar.â
âI donât know, he mightâve,â Lena shrugs as she recalls all the little things sheâs witnessed the last few weeks. âThis is intense, even for him.â
âBesides, look who weâre talking about,â Ellis points out the fact that they all know is right. You were sunshine personified. The piece they didnât even realise the night shift was missing. And it was just like Jack Abbot to want you all to himself. âHeâd be crazy if he didnât.â
âWait,â Lena pieces it together first. The missing coffee. The good moods. The hesitation before your smile, the one that was just a little bit different than usual. Softer. âDidnât they walk in together today?â
Thereâs a moment of silence as they all realize the same thing at the same time.
âFirst one to find out pays for the others drinks for the next two weeks?â
âDeal.â
âYouâre on.â
***
âYouâre insane.âÂ
Jack only grins at you as he locks the door of the supply closet behind him. He wastes no time at all and immediately wraps you up in his arms, skipping all formalities and letting his mouth fall to your neck. âI thought thatâs why you liked meâÂ
He knows now how easy you are to distract. One glance at you and how your eyes have fluttered shut already confirms that. You let out a content little sigh as you pull him closer to you, âAmong other reasons.â
The noise that fills the pitt disappears and suddenly all you know is Jack. His hands wandering underneath your shirt. His mouth on every bit of skin he can reach. The way he cages you in between his body and the shelf behind you and holds you like heâs afraid youâll disappear.
âJack seriously,â It takes every bit of your self control to pull yourself back and attempt to look at him for real. âWe canât do this here.â
âWe're alone, honey. No one has to know,â He doesnât even look at you, eyes trained on your lips instead. He slips your scrub top over your head leaving you in just the thin, see-through, white undershirt. You're both quickly losing all sense of rationality.Â
âSomeoneâs gonna come looking for usâ
âI'm their boss, I'll make them go away,â One of his hands tangles in your hair this time and he pulls your head back so he can look into your eyes. Blown out pupils, breaths falling heavy, lips swollen from how youâd been biting them in an effort to keep quiet. He groans a little bit at the sight. âJust this once, baby, I swear,â He kisses you. Really kisses you. Long and slow and deep. Enough to make your thoughts go blurry and your knees weak. He pulls away the slightest bit and smirks when you chase the feeling of him. âPromise.â
âYou know, somehow I donât believe you.â He laughs then, pretending he doesnât notice you start to push his own shirt up little by little. Your hands are cold on the warm, bare skin of his chest and he shivers a little bit, smiling even wider. He's addicted to you, he thinks.
âCan you blame me?â Another kiss, this time picking up where he left off before. âYouâre perfect.â
Someone pulls on the door seconds later, just as his hands start wandering lower.Â
âWhy is this door locked!âÂ
You slip your scrub shirt back on in record time and Jack pushes you behind him when he goes to open the door as Ellis starts pounding on it. âI swear to god I -â
She doesnât see you when he opens it. Not at first.Â
âCan I help you?â Jack asks the question like nothing is wrong in the slightest.Â
Ellis looks around for a second, trying to determine if anyone else was seeing this or if she had finally entered a state of hallucination. âI just need -â
Thatâs when she sees you. Tucked behind Jack, clothes a little crooked on your body and a little more disheveled than before. Youâre smiling at her, only the slightest bit shy but mostly looking a little pleased. âI - hi?âÂ
She doesnât know what else to say to you.Â
âHi,â You smile at her and step around Jack. âWhat did you need to grab?â
âI just - I just need a suture kit.â
You grab one off the shelf next to you and step around Jack, stopping for just a second to shoot him a smile. She watches him return the smile, absolutely noticing the way he reaches for you. His fingers barely skim against you when you step just a little too close to him, like even that feather light touch will get him through the rest of the night. You turn back towards her like nothing happened. âDo you want any help?â
âUh, yeah. Sure.â Ellis tries not to stare when Jack grabs your hand for real, pulling you back and kissing you again, modestly this time. On your forehead as he whispers something to you that she canât hear.Â
Itâs not until youâve walked further away from the storage closet that she leans a little closer to you. âHey, are you twoâŠyou know?âÂ
You laugh a little bit at the question. âDating? I thought it was kinda obvious after that.âÂ
âI didnât want to assume.â Ellis laughs along with you and shakes her head, leading you in the direction of one of the rooms. Then she notices Shen and Lena out of the corner of her eye again and stops. âHey, can you get started? I need to check with Lena about some lab results real quick.âÂ
âYeah, go for it! Take your time.â
Ellis watches you pull the curtain of the room closed. Then she waits until Jack has disappeared into another room on the other side of the ED, the most smug looking grin on his face, before she practically runs to the nurses desk. âTheyâre dating, I told you so.âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
âAnd weâre just supposed to believe you? How do you know?âÂ
âI asked,â She pauses for a moment before leaning closer. âAnd I found them both in the supply closet with the door locked, you connect the dots.âÂ
Shenâs face scrunches in disgust. âEw.âÂ
Lena on the other hand only lets out a sigh. âWeâre gonna have to keep an eye on them aren't we?âÂ
âProbably.â Ellis looks incredibly pleased as she starts walking back to the room youâd gone into. âIâll send you guys my drink order before next shift.â
4. The Reveal
The day shift doesnât usually notice when the night shift starts to trickle in. You remember it clearly, the way it feels like every single person with every single ailment known to mankind seems to congregate in the pitt all at once right before itâs time for shift change. Thatâs something you donât miss. By the time you guys come in it feels settled. Or maybe you all just like to think so.Â
Either way, they definitely donât notice when you and Jack walk in together, your bag slung over his shoulder. Theyâre too distracted by the drinks Shen and Lena walked in with, relegated to delivery service after losing some bet to Ellis.Â
All the noise is forgotten quickly. This, the rare quiet moment in the staff locker room where it feels like the whole world comes to a stand still, is Jackâs time to breathe. He watches you throw all your things into his locker, somehow getting to the point of sharing custody of one now in the last couple of weeks.Â
He knows youâre saying something. He can hear the sound of your voice but youâre also tying your hair up so itâs out of your way for the night and he loses all ability to think straight. Some kind of pavlovian response overtakes him and this feeling fills him up inside and suddenly he canât help himself.Â
He stands up and it's like his hands move on their own without him meaning for them to. They set themselves firmly on your hips and pull them back, completely flush against him. He bunches the scrub top up and settles his hands underneath the long sleeve shirt youâre wearing under it. Your skin is warm under them and the little noise he lets out is perfectly content.Â
âCan I help you?â He can hear the smile youâre wearing when you ask the question and he can picture it perfectly.Â
âNo,â Jack shakes his head a little and kisses your cheek. It lingers for a second before he starts moving down the expanse of your neck. âIâm fine. What were you saying?âÂ
âYou're so needy, you know that?âÂ
âAre you complaining?â He doesnât get a response from you. Instead your arms settle over his and you relax into his hold. He smirks. âThatâs what I thought.âÂ
You donât get very long to escape into the moment.Â
âThere you are. Robbyâs looking for - woah,â The exhausted look on Santos' face turns into a shit-eating grin in a fraction of a second. âWhatâs going on here?â
Jack frowns when you wiggle out of his hold to turn to look at her.Â
âHey,â You smile at her like she hadnât just seen what she clearly just did. She shares a look with both Javadi and Whitaker whoâd walked in with her. âHow was your shift?â
âUh, I'm sorry,â Javadi laughs in disbelief a little as she looks between the two of you. You, smiling brightly at her in the way she misses seeing so much on the day shift, and Jack, who looks like heâs never hated three people more. Sheâs pretty sure heâs committing their murders in his head. âWhat is this? When did this happen?â
Jack all of a sudden feels protective in that moment. Over your relationship that very much fuels his will to live and over you. Part of him is surprised you hadnât told them yet. The first friends youâd made here, probably some of your closest, clearly had no idea about you and him. Then he remembers your opposite schedules and the constant cycle of work and being completely enveloped by the so-called honeymoon phase of your relationship he thinks might actually never end.
âWait, did I not tell you guys?â Youâre trying your hardest to trace back every moment of the last few weeks. Jack takes it upon himself to hand you your drink and grab his before shutting his locker, taking a second to just listen. One of his arms wraps around your waist again.
âYou did not, sweets,â Santos shakes her head and speaks slowly, trying to push through her absolute shock at this revelation. And trying very hard not to stare at the casual display of affection from Jack Abbot of all people.
Whitaker is the one who recalls the last real interaction youâd had with them fastest. Somehow heâs the least surprised. âYou spent all of breakfast the other day telling us about that kid you patched up with Ellis. The one who slipped off the fire escape trying to sneak into his girlfriend's room."
âYou told Mel, Samira, and Langdon," Jack says it in between sips of his matcha like itâs nothing. âWhen you had them over for dinner at yours your last night off. You sent me a picture of their reactions.â
âRight!â You try your hardest to hold in a laugh at the recollection. Samira had shouted into a pillow. Mel had asked a lot of questions, incredibly excitedly. Frank had decided he needed to take a walk to process and stood on your balcony for ten minutes. âI guess I forgot, everything kinda blurs together. They didnât tell you?âÂ
âSweets, I think you told the three least nosy people in the ED,â Santos makes a mental note to yell at all of them for keeping this from everyone else. âOf course they didnât.â
Then your attention slips from Jack completely when Javadi prompts Whitaker to tell you about something that happened earlier. He stops listening completely, now perfectly distracted by the excited look in your eyes and the way you smile at them. And okay so maybe heâs a little bit clingy.Â
Jack wraps himself around you from behind again, arms now fully circling your waist. He does not hesitate in the slightest to pull you flush against him again either. He does exercise a little bit of self control though. Thereâs no kiss this time. Instead he let out a soft sigh and let his head fall onto your shoulder, chin resting against it silently as you talk.
He doesnât notice the way Javadi covers her mouth with one hand to hold back the comment she wants to make out loud. Instead she points at the sight as subtly as she can and mouths âoh my god!â you only grin at her. You roll your eyes, pretending to be annoyed at Jackâs display, but you settle back into him anyway.
He also doesnât notice the way Whitaker stares at him, eyes narrowed in his direction and head tipped to the side curiously, debating to himself whether or not Jack was actually in the room with them. Physically or mentally.
Santos, ever curious, is the one who finally cracks and breaks him out of his self induced trance. âOkay, I have to know. How did this even -â
âHey!â Ellis cuts in before she can even ask the question all the way. She pops her head in the door, eyes skipping past everyone until they land on you and Jack. She doesnât look phased by the sight in the slightest. She nods at you with a smile in greeting before looking at Jack. âIf you donât get out there in the next five seconds for hand-offs, Robby might just track down a guillotine and use it on you.â
âAlright, alright,â Jack rolls his eyes and takes his time standing up straight again. He lingers for as long as humanly possible. Another kiss, to your forehead this time, before he very begrudgingly lets you go one arm at a time. âIâll see you out there.â
Jack keeps holding your hand as he walks out of the room, not letting a single second go to waste. He holds on until he takes a step too far and lets it fall out of his own. An absolutely devastating moment in his eyes.Â
âLater, kids.â He just barely glances at Whitaker, Javadi, and Santos, saluting them with two fingers before taking another sip of his drink and walking out of the locker room with Ellis, who hands him a tablet.
The silence sinks in around you. In those few moments your friends realize that Abbotâs whole little display is evidently very much normal for the night shift. And then -Â Â
âSince when does Abbot drink matcha?â
5. The Declaration
It was bordering on 2 AM when the trauma came in. A young girl, whoâd just wanted some pancakes and coffee while pulling an all nighter studying for her upcoming SAT exam. Sheâd been hit by a drunk driver on her way home from the diner and was in rough shape.
The room was already tense. Sheâd coded in the ambulance and theyâd only just managed to get her stable. Every single one of you held your breath as you all did everything in your power to try to save her.Â
It was really with no hesitation that everyone else took a backseat to you and Jack moving easily around each other. The two of you were the girls best bet at surviving, a well oiled machine at this point. In every sense of the phrase. You could anticipate what he was about to do before he even said it. All heâd have to do is give you a look and you just knew, youâd hand him whatever he needed, or ask someone else if your hands were full, and you were right every single time.Â
âHonestly I think the rest of us can go home,â Walsh, whoâd been paged to consult and make sure the girl was stable enough for surgery, said from where she stood on the other side of the hospital bed from you and Jack. She was watching closely and honestly, was more than a little impressed. Especially when you pointed something out to Jack that heâd missed right before she could. âOur sweet little angel face over there has this whole place locked down.â
âIncluding Abbot,â Shen watches from beside Walsh, looking on curiously at the silent understanding between the two of you. âItâs like they have some freaky mind meld thing going on.â
âYou think its contagious?â Walsh puts up her side of the bed railing, seeing that Jack was just about done.Â
âHopefully not,â Shen makes a face at the thought. âI'm more than happy letting her be the one to keep him too busy to yell at the rest of us.âÂ
Neither one of you notice their conversation in the slightest, too involved in each other even in a trauma room. Itâs almost unsettling. The small little smiles and the bedroom eyes and whispered comments passed between the two of you. The way Jack pauses for just the briefest moment mid procedure to turn and send you a wink that makes you roll your eyes and grin back at him.Â
Walsh watches the whole interaction, positive the two of you have forgotten everyone else is the room. âThis can't possibly be normal. Are they like this their whole shifts?âÂ
Shen thinks for a moment before shaking his head, âItâs usually worse. Boarding on an HR violation is their normal.âÂ
A moment passes where Walsh realizes that yeah, that kinda tracks considering the moments sheâs been witness to up until this point. Then, to Shenâs horror, she smiles. âHey, do you wanna see something funny?âÂ
His eyes narrow at her but ultimately his curiosity gets the better of him. âIâm not taking responsibility for your funeral expenses if this goes badly.âÂ
That only makes her smile wider.
Walsh maneuvers her way to your other side, taking the place of one of the other nurses that was there. Shenâs eyes go wide when she looks at him again. She speaks before he can shake his head to stop her, breaking you and Jack out of the little bubble youâd put yourselves in.
âYou know youâre really good at this, Sweets,â Walsh grins when you look over at her instead and Jack hesitates for just a second. âWhen can I steal you to help me in the OR? Youâd be amazing in there.â
âAnytime,â You meet her smile easily. âIâm always down for a change in scenery.âÂ
âPerfect,â She smirks a little at your answer. âName a day and time and I'll steal you all for myself.â
âDone,â The other side of the railing snaps up, maybe a little more harsh than it needs to be. Jack looks up, not a hint of the smile heâd been using with you left when he looks at Walsh. âYou can go now.â
Walsh looks more than pleased by his reaction. She looks at Shen whoâs trying his absolute hardest not to laugh giddily at what he just witnessed.Â
âDown, boy,â She unlocks the wheels of the hospital bed and smirks even wider when Jack removes his gloves and loops his fingers into the hem of your scrub top, pulling you back into his side. Itâs completely subconscious, she realizes, when neither one of you seems to even notice it happens. âEven when I steal her from you for my OR youâll still get to take her home at the end of the night.â
âWait, hang on, thatâs where I draw the line,â Shen unlocks the wheels on the other side and starts wheeling the bed out with her. âYou are not taking our best nurse all for yourself. Especially not when sheâs the one who also brings us our caffeine every shift.âÂ
âYou know, youâre only giving me more reasons to steal her.âÂ
Neither one of them notices that you donât follow. Instead, the room empties out and then itâs just you and Jack. The silence settles between you as Jack unties the back of your surgical gown. When you turn to face him again he speaks softly.
âYou could go, you know. To the OR. If you wanted to.â Jack says it before you can say anything about it. âWalsh is right, youâd be a natural up there.âÂ
âJack -âÂ
âYou donât have to stay here forever. I mean, Shen is also right. Weâd miss you down here. It hasnât even been a couple months yet and it feels like you were made to be here with m- with everyone -âÂ
âJack -âÂ
âEven if you just wanted to try it out. I think you should. I mean itâs-â
You kiss him. Not in the storage closet or the locker room or in an on call room or behind a curtain like usual. Right there in the middle of a trauma room, windows wide open and the ED buzzing all around you.Â
Jack melts into you immediately. Hands moving to your hips to pull you closer before one moves to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. A small groan leaves him when you pull away, the sweetest, most innocent smile on your lips.
âYou talk too much,â A moment passes where you just stare at him, making sure heâs really listening to what youâre saying. âIâm not leaving the ED,â and then you add a little quieter, a little more shy, âYouâre here.â
âI love you.â
Jack doesnât know what possesses him to say it out loud here and now of all places for the very first time. But he feels it and he acknowledges it and thereâs no way he can hold it in after that. Thereâs a need that settles deep in his bones and he knows heâs never going to want anything less than you right there with him always. Forever. He doesnât know how heâd survive otherwise.Â
It takes a moment for what he said to sink in. You can see the intensity in his eyes, how much he feels it and means it. You really wish you were anywhere but the ED right now. Maybe if you wished really really hard you could somehow will everyone and everything to slow down long enough for you to sneak away with Jack for just a little bit.Â
Jack Abbot who loves you. The knowledge of that fact makes you feel warm all over.Â
âI love you too.âÂ
+1. The Move
Jack is obsessed. He knows that for sure now.Â
With the way you kiss him and how you look at him after. With the way you let him be as attached to you as he needs to be at any given moment and you donât mind at all. With the way you hold his hand and pretend not to notice when he moves his fingers to rest on your pulse point out of instinct. And especially with moments like these.Â
Itâs pushing ten am and the two of you have only just left the hospital. A morning rush hour pileup meant that not only was there an influx of traumaâs coming in right before 7 but also that a good chunk of the staff were stuck behind the backed up traffic.Â
Despite the fifteen hour shift, youâre still happily nodding your head along to the soft music that fills Jackâs car. He watches you out of the corner of his eye. Youâre mumbling the words to the song playing and taking sips out of the drink heâd just bought you, your third one of the day. His drink is sitting the cup holder. His second one, your habits had rubbed off on him.
The song switches once and then twice. By the time it switches a third time heâs watching you frown as you reach the bottom of your drink.Â
âHoney, donât take this the wrong way,â He looks at you for a moment before looking back at the road. âBut I think you might have a problem.âÂ
âI do not!â You feign offense and turn towards him in your seat. âGod forbid I treat myself to something nice after a long day.âÂ
âWhat were the other two for then?âÂ
âA treat for going to work and a pick me up for halfway, clearly.â
âClearly.â Jack shakes his head as stops at a light. Silently, he drops one hand from the wheel and sets it palm side up on the center console. Almost immediately youâre placing your hand in his, the exact way he was craving.Â
The light turns green and he makes the split second decision then. He turns right, the direction thatâll let him turn around to head towards his place, instead of continuing straight, the direction that would take him to yours.Â
You watch as he does so, driving further and further away from your apartment. âJack, what are you doing?âÂ
He kisses the back of your hand. âTaking you back to mine since youâre clearly not planning on sleeping after all that caffeine.âÂ
âOkay, one,â You turn to face him again, even while heâs driving. âIâve built up a tolerance. This is nothing. And two, I've been out of clean clothes for like a week. I can only wash the ones I have there so many times.â
âSo steal some of mine.â Jack shrugs and maybe the thought of you in his clothes is a little bit for him too.
âBad idea, cause then neither of us will ever have clean clothes again.â
âIâll buy you new ones then.â
âNot if I donât let you.â
âGood luck stopping me.âÂ
Heâs winning and you both know it. So instead you say, âI have to stay at my place sometimes, whatâs the point of even having it if I give in and always let you win these fun little arguments.â
The stop is sudden. Jack pulls over into the first empty spot he sees on the side of the road and turns to face you fully before you can ask him what heâs doing.
âYou know what, honey? Youâre right,â He leans towards you, fully leaning on the center console until heâs close enough to kiss you if he really wanted to. âThereâs really no point in you paying for an apartment youâre barely ever in so I think itâs the perfect time for you to let me move you in with me.â
For a second youâre not sure if you heard him right. Maybe he was right and the cocktail of caffeine and sleep deprivation was finally making you imagine things. âWhat?âÂ
âMove in with me.âÂ
So you definitely heard him right.Â
âYouâre not serious.â
âWhat makes you think Iâm not?â
âItâs barely been three months,â You shake your head as if that should explain everything. âAnd we havenât even technically been dating for that entire time.â
âWhat can I say, I know what I want,â Youâre still looking at him in disbelief so Jack takes your hand again and he sounds more serious when he says it plainly. âWhat I want is you. Every morning, every night, every shift, every minute youâll let me. If youâll have me.â
âItâs too fast.â Youâre only trying to convince yourself at this point.
Jack smiles at you, softer than before. âYouâre forgetting Iâve been pining over you for more than a year now.âÂ
You catch the implication immediately. It went way further back than just three months. All the way back to the day you walked through the doors of the PTMC halfway through him going through shift change. Heâd lingered a lot longer than necessary and you had thought it was just normal for him.Â
âYouâre crazy.âÂ
âThatâs why you love me.â
And heâs right. Itâs the reason why you finally give in. âWill you at least let me split the rent with you?â
âI own the place.â Jack shrugs and you know for a fact that heâs not sorry in the slightest.Â
âMortgage then.â
âAlready paid off.â
âBills?â
âPaid in advance for the next three months.â
âGroceries?â
âNot a chance.â
â50 50?â
â90 10.â
You huff a little and pout at him. He doesnât fall for it, only pausing for a second to kiss the look off your face. âAre you ever going to let me win one of these arguments?â
âNot unless itâs in your best interest.â
âYouâre insufferable.â
âAnd you love me for that too.âÂ
Jack finally thinks for a moment and thatâs when his eyes land on the drinks in the cupholder between the two of you, his half full one and your empty one. âHow about I let you pay for my drink every time we stop for one?â
You light up at his proposition. âWill you let me pay for mine?â
âOnly after the first one. First one Iâm paying for,â He leans in a little bit closer, knowing heâs got you on his side now. âConsider it a compromise.â
âWorks for me.â
âYou can pay for Shenâs too,â He adds quickly before you can agree. âI refuse to fund his addiction, heâs worse than you.â
âDeal.â That makes you laugh and you finally lean in and kiss him, sealing everything in place.Â
He can taste the sugary vanilla drink that still lingers on your tongue and it makes him smile against your lips. âWill you let me take you to our home now?â
âOkay,â You kiss him again. You really canât help it. âTake me to our place.â
synopsis: a kid calls Jean your "husband" and that's all he can think of for the rest of the night.
pairing: jean kirschtein x fem! reader
word count: 3.6k
c.w: modern au!, trost is a modern city, fem! reader, making out outside, smut, shower s-x, p in v, lots of sweet talk, a little bit of dirty talk, disgusting fluff mixed with some smut.
Your heart was going was to burst out of your chest.
Youâre not sure how to put it into words, the way he crouched down when you told him that your heels were hurting your feet, his big and warm hands working their way around your ankles to massage them. Or the way he looks up when you put your hand on top of his head, heat crawling up your neck when your eyes meet his.Â
Jean Kirtstein, the man who asked you to be his girlfriend a year and a half ago, was the text-book definition of the perfect man. An attentive lover, someone who pays attention to what you do or say â husband material. You would be lying if you said you didnât think of marrying him six months into your relationship, but you knew it would be too soon to bring it up and you would hate to freak out the man.Â
Even then, what would you say? You treat me better than half of the men I have been with, and so now I need to marry you.Â
Yeah, that would sound absolutely insane.
Tonight was no different, you could feel the love pouring out of him with every move he made. The arm wrapped around your shoulders, the hand squeezing your arm to make sure that you were warm. Trost was known to be a rather cold city, especially at night, but it never stopped you from having your date nights.Â
âWhat are we watching next?â Jean leans down to stare at your phone with you. You were scrolling through the long movie list you had made together, reading carefully through the movie titles.
âWe can do⊠Beautiful Boy? We havenât watched it yet, surprisingly.â You look up at your boyfriend and he nods.Â
âOkay, Beautiful Boy.â
âOh, Iâm gonna ugly-cry thoughâŠâÂ
Jean lets out a laugh before pressing his lips to the side of your head, pulling you closer to him. âNot the first time Iâve seen you cry.â
You roll your eyes before shoving your phone back in the pocket of your long coat. âYouâre lucky I love you.â
âOh you do?â Jean smirks, a dangerous glint in his eyes. âI wouldâve never guessed.â
But before you could come up with your own smart retort, a rather loud bang interrupts your moment. It pulls you back to reality for a moment, and you find yourself holding onto your boyfriendâs arm.
âWhat was that?â You whisper, too nervous to step closer to the sound.Â
Jean immediately goes into protective mode, gently pushes you to hide behind him.
âWho is there?!â He yells out, all protective and serious as his eyes scan for potential danger. You wouldâve run away, had it not been the alleyway that leads directly towards your apartment building.Â
Another soft, wet sound comes from the alleyway, but this time Jean squints as he takes a closer look at what was happening.Â
Orange, white, a little bit of blackâŠ.white, and then orange again. Fur. There is fur everywhere, and multiple pairs of bright eyes stare directly into yours and Jeanâs souls.Â
Cats were gathered around the dumpster, only distracted for a moment by your presence before diving back into their food. You step from around Jean and towards the animals, your voice careful and concerned.
âI hope theyâre not eating something spoiled.âÂ
And as if they could understand what you were saying, their gaze immediately shifts towards something in the sky.
Or more like someone.
âMiss! Watch out!â A childâs voice can be heard from above, and you look up at the third floor window.Â
Two kids â a boy and a girl, had their heads sticking out of the window. The light was very bright from where they were looking, and you assumed that they were probably in the kitchen.Â
âOh,â you place a hand on your chest as you realize what was happening, and you turn to Jean with what he can only describe as the biggest smile on your face. âLook, I think theyâre feeding them.â
Jean approaches you with a warm smile, reaching his hand towards your face where he gently holds your jaw before leaning down to kiss your forehead. His carefulness makes butterflies dance in your stomach, and you move closer to him as the two of you watch the cats eat.
âMommy says we canât go out and feed them at night.â Itâs the boy who speaks up this time, his words laced with disappointment. Jean is quick to respond to him.
âYour mommy is right, itâs dangerous at night.â
âBut youâre outside at night.â The pout is so evident in his voice that it makes you chuckle.
His sister hisses at him, quickly correcting him. âTheyâre grown ups, dummy! Grown ups can walk outside at night!âÂ
âThen I wanna be a grown up some day!â The boy exclaims loudly, before tossing another piece of meat down to the cats.Â
It seems that this was a regular occurrence, as the cats look fairly healthy and are full after a couple of bites. The kids bid them goodbye very loudly, and then you hear a loud shush coming from inside their apartment.
âItâs way past your bedtime!âÂ
âBut mommy! Itâs the weekend!â
âAnd I let you feed the cats, now itâs time to sleep.â
âI wanna say byebye to the nice lady and her husband!â
That elicits a chuckle from you and a surprised sound from Jean who looks down at you. âAm I just an accessory now?â
You wrap your arms around his middle. âA nice accessory.â
âByebye!â Both kids wave at you, and you and Jean wave back as you watch them retreat inside.Â
âGoodnight!â You exclaim loud enough for both of them to hear, and their giggles echo through the night before the window closes and the rest of the conversation is muffled.
You stand there, your arms still wrapped around Jean before you feel his eyes on you, warm and adoring.
âWhat?â You can feel your cheeks warming up under his gaze, his firm body feeling extra nice against yours.Â
âHusband, huh?â He tucks a hair strand behind your ear, taking in your flustered look. âI like that. Do you?â
The question comes out soft, careful â this was Jeanâs way of testing the waters, the relationship in itself. He wanted to make sure that you two were on the same page, that the past year and a half of you two being together has been just as amazing to you, as it has been fulfilling to him. He cradles your face with his hand, his thumb brushing against your warm cheek as you gaze at him lovingly.Â
âI love it.âÂ
Your words hang in the air for a few moments, surrounded by the silence of the night and your mixed breaths. Your chest feels tight, eyes brimming with tears because this was so incredibly overwhelming yet steadying. Because this was Jean, this wasnât the man who had stood you up or the one who made you pay despite being the one to invite you on a date, or the one who expected sex after one date.
This was Jean, and not your ex-boyfriend who had told you that he wasnât ready for commitment after being in a relationship for a year, nor was he the man who ghosted you after three dates.
You tilt your head, melting against his touch and allowing him to take the lead from here.Â
And soon enough, he leans down and captures your lips with his in what starts out as a gentle kiss. A couple of pecks turned into deeper kisses, and in no time you were burying your hands in his hair, fingers pulling at his mullet. The action elicits a soft sound from the taller man who pushes you up against the nearest wall, not before stumbling a bit and giggling against each otherâs lips.
âWouldâve been bad if you fell.â He whispers in between kisses, his hand resting on the back of your head whilst the other grips your hip. You can feel the self-restraint slipping with each kiss, and it makes your body feel warm as you smile against his lips.
âYou wouldâve fallen with me so I donât get embarrassed.â You tease him, your finger poking at his cheek and he chuckles, his hand falling from your head. He was now fully gripping your hips, caging you between the wall and his body.
âMmm, my girl knows me so well.â He nudges your nose with his, smiling at your euphoric giggles. His lips attach against your cheek, then your jaw and down to your neck as you gasp in between giggles.
âJean!âÂ
âMy girl, my wife,â he says the petname with so much pride, so much possessiveness that you couldâve sworn you felt your heart was about to explode.Â
âI have a feeling you like the sound of that,â you tease the man, brushing his hair away from his face before holding it in your hands. âYour face feels warm.â
âI love it,â he kisses the palm of your hand, before melting against your touch. âYou have no idea.â
âOh I think I do.â You whisper with a shy smile, your thumb brushing against his cheek. âMy husband.âÂ
Jeanâs eyes widen for a moment, a strong feeling washes over him before he squeezes his eyes shut. He takes the hand that is holding his face before kissing it â its palm, its knuckles, repeatedly and so lovesick that you could feel your heart in your throat.Â
And then he opens his eyes, and his stomach flips at the way youâre looking at him. All flushed, almost drunk off his love for you. You were breathing hard, chest heaving as you stared at him as if he held the key to all of your secrets. Like he was the answer to all of your problems, as if existing without him was the worst and most unforgivable sin.Â
He pauses. Because telling you what he was thinking would ruin it, saying out loud that he was thinking of a million ways to have a conversation with your family about proposing to you would ruin the surprise. Because revealing that he had been saving up for a ring for the past six months would make you worry about him, about whether or not he was using his own salary for himself.Â
Jean knows you like the back of his hand. And he knows that if he were to propose tomorrow, with a paper ring and a shoebox for a house, you would accept.
But he would never do that â you were his princess, his sweetheart, his love. He was going to make you live out the fairytale of your dreams.Â
â
It should be illegal to be this attracted to your partner.
Jeanâs eyes have been devouring your body ever since you got home, watching you walk around your shared bedroom then head for the bathroom. He leans against the doorframe as you remove your make-up, getting ready for the night as you grab a towel and your skincare products. Sensing his presence, you look at your boyfriend and smile.
âWhat?â you step closer to the shower before turning on the faucet. Jean quietly moves behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle.
âI can scrub your back?â He whispers against your cheek, groaning loudly when the smell of your perfume hits his nostrils. You giggle, a bit taken aback by his boldness.Â
âYou never just scrub my back.â You point out, and the taller man playfully bites down on your earlobe.
âDid I say just scrub your back?â His hands sneakily find their way on your bare thighs, traveling their way up and under the fabric of your dress. âScrub your back, wash your hairââÂ
Your hands rest on his toned forearms, smiling to yourself when you feel him squeeze your thighs.Â
âSoap my body too?âÂ
This elicits another groan from Jean, and he swiftly reaches for the zipper of your dress. âAlright, letâs take it off.â
You canât help but laugh at the urgency in his voice, but youâre also deeply flustered by how easy it is to make his self control crumble.Â
âDonât forget yourself,â you mutter as he finishes unzipping your dress, taking a step back so you can step out of it and stand in front of him wearing only panties. With deliberate slowness, you undo the clasp of his belt and let it slide free. You thread it carefully through your fingers before gently yanking Jean towards you.Â
You continue to lift the leather belt through its loops, your other hand undoing the buttons of his white blouse. You let the belt drop to the floor, the sound of metal clanking against the tiles echoing through the bathroom, then you move closer to the man until your boobs are pressed against his bare chest.Â
The air is charged as you wrap your arms around his neck, a bashful smile dancing on your lips. âI wanna see all of you as well.âÂ
Whatever self-restraint Jean had is long gone the moment he feels your skin against his. His lips crash against yours, messy and hurried as he swallows your sounds with his mouth. His big, warm hands grope your ass cheeks as you press your groin against his, gasping against his lips when you feel the growing bulge against your stomach.Â
You open your eyes, half-lidded and glossed over as you pull away from the kiss to catch your breath. But Jean captures your lips again, and you gasp when he pushes you up against the cold shower glass.Â
âI know baby,â your stomach twists at his tone â teasing yet mocking, and you pout at the man when you notice his playful smile. âLook at your nipples, theyâre hard.âÂ
He wastes no time in touching you, his thumb roughly grazing over the sensitive bud. Your back arches at the touch, your hand resting on his chest to make a small distance between the two of you.
âThe waterâs running.âÂ
With a soft push, you put a little distance between the two of you before easing the glass door aside, Jeanâs gaze following you. You step under the running water, making sure that your back was facing Jean as your fingers slide under the edge of your underwear. Looking over your shoulder, you send Jean a smile as you gradually work your underwear down and over your hips.Â
Once fully naked, you hear rustling coming from outside of the shower and smile to yourself as you see Jean yanking his blouse off his body then practically jumping out of his pants and boxers.Â
You gasp as you feel his hands on your boobs, shamelessly groping and fondling them as you reach for the body wash. You hum in response, pushing your ass back so that it grazes his now fully erect cock. Immediately, Jean folds against you as he rests his forehead against your shoulder.Â
âAre you okay baby?â you ask and Jean can tell youâre finding this way too amusing.Â
âMmmm,â is all he can say as he pushes his cock against your ass, his hand sliding down from your boob down to your stomach. It rests on your pubic bone, and the tall man can tell that youâre slowly losing patience as well just from the way your body was reacting to him.Â
You shudder at the feeling, hips bucking up. You wish he could just fuck you stupid, but a part of you was enjoying the build up a little too much.Â
âWas just thinking,â his chin is now propped on your shoulder, eyes staring down at your boobs and the rest of your body. âAbout how bad I want to fuck you.âÂ
You sigh, cheeks flaring up at his dirty confession. Your hand reaches behind you to cradle his face, and you turn your head to look at him. âHow bad do you want to fuck me, Jean?âÂ
Pressing his forehead against yours, Jean carefully nudges the tip of his cock against your wet folds. Itâs a euphoric feeling despite the lack of penetration, and he basks in the way your face contorts and twists when he swipes the tip of his cock over your clit.
âTil you feel it in your stomach, baby.âÂ
You bite down on your lip, sighing at his words. âPlease.â
The first thrust feels like you have been sent to heaven and back. It feels good, comforting, your warm walls hugging his cock so tight that Jean curses under his breath and bites down on your shoulder to suppress his own noises.
âFuuuck, youâre so tight. Donât I fuck you enough, huh? Howâs this pussy still so fucking tight?â
You can only moan in response as you start to fuck yourself back against him, a gutteral sound escaping Jean as he watches your ass recoil with each thrust. He only lets you do the work for a couple of moments before his hand hooks under your leg, lifting it up as he starts to fuck you hard.Â
You gasp, holding yourself up against the wall as your eyes roll back.Â
The obscene sound of his cock pumping in and out of you fills the bathroom, the large vein that wraps around his dick dragging against your folds with each thrust. And he reaches so deep inside you that it elicits an embarrassing moan out of you, one that has you covering your mouth.
âDonât hide from me,â Jean quickly removes your hand from over your mouth, his pace quickening. The tip of his cock reaches spots inside you that your own fingers canât, and you quickly figure out that holding up your leg allows him to reach even deeper if possible.Â
The light-brown-haired male can no longer hide his own sounds, as the lewd sound of his hips violently slamming against yours were the only thing to reach his ears. The feeling of your tight pussy is the one thing that he can feel in his entire body, and he makes it his mission to make you cum as hard as you can.
âFuck, youâre taking me so well.âÂ
He holds you up well, making sure that you were balancing yourself well as he continues to fuck you with your leg in the air. Your leg starts shaking when the tip of his cock grazes that spot, and so he frees your leg before wrapping his arms around your body. With embarrassing ease, Jean manhandles you so that you are pressed face first against the glass door of the shower.
âWhat Iâd take to see what you look like right now,â he mumbles against your ear, his cock buried deep inside your pussy. He starts to fuck you again, this time going so deep that you could almost feel him in your stomach.
It makes your eyes roll back, your cheeks stinging from the heat as your body gives out and lets him take full control. You rest your forehead against the glass when the pleasure becomes mind-numbing, your hands reaching behind you to grip his forearms as he continues to fuck you so good.
âOh my god Jean, oh my godââ
âDonât stop?â His voice was strained, he was close too.
âPlease!â
Saying the magic word always got you what you wanted. Jeanâs hips are relentless as he continues to slam the tip of his cock exactly how you liked. Coupled with his hands gripping your hips so possessively, your orgasm hits you like a train.Â
Your body shakes, goosebumps forming all over your skin as your pussy gushes on his cock. And you canât stop cumming, Jeanâs cock keeps fucking into you as he chases his own release and mutters filthy words of praise against your hair.
âMy perfect woman, my pretty wife taking my cock like a fucking champ.â His moan is long and drawn and you cry out even more when you feel his hand go around your body to rub at your poor and neglected clit. âYouâre so fucking good for me, youâre gonna cum for me again. Right?â His teeth sink into your earlobe and you sigh, your body temperature rising as you nod.
âYeah!âÂ
âGood girl.âÂ
Jean gives one final slam of his hips before heâs emptying himself inside your pussy, cock nestled between your tight and warm walls. You take a moment to catch your breath, your body still twitching and recovering from what just happened.
You tell your boyfriend that you two need to hurry and wash up before the warm water runs out, and he jumps in action as he scrubs both your body and his, rinsing with water before stepping out to grab towels for the two of you.
By the time he returns with a warm towel, youâre trembling from the cold.
âSorry I took too long.â You shake your head, letting him wrap the towel around your body.Â
âItâs okay,â you smile as you kiss his cheek. âCover yourself or youâll get sick.âÂ
Jean kisses your forehead before patting your butt. âGo get dressed, you look like a poodle.â
You feign being offended as you gasp. âTake it back!â
âThought you liked me for my honesty!â
You shout from the bedroom. âNo! I liked you because you were tall and handsome!âÂ
You hear Jean make the same noise you made earlier. âMy girlfriend is shallow?!â
âBetter break up with me.â you say playfully and Jean pops his head from the bathroom, his face all serious.Â
âNot even the devil could convince me to do it.â
âŠSouthern!Handyman!Reiner Braun x Bimbo!fem!reader âŠ
âż Contents: porn with a bit of plot , readers hair is curly , she has full lips, reader is a Bimbo.. just reiterating that , sex between strangers , fingering , oral (female receiving) , mentions of creaming and squirting , pnv sex , unprotected sex , creampie , spanking , mirror sex , light spit kink
âż Note from Winter: I'm sorry this, as usual, took absolutely forever to get done, but I hope you guys enjoy it! âĄ
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It was early on a Thursday morning.
The second you opened your eyes, you were greeted by the warmth of the yellow sunlight that beamed into the large bedroom window through the white, lace curtains before illuminating the blush colored walls.
The birds were chirping happily outside, one of them perched on the dark balcony railing as it sang to the others.
You sigh, sitting up, feeling the plush mattress dip beneath the shift in your weight before throwing the quilted comforter off of your lap. Just as you're about to get up, you hear your phone ding, the sudden noise interrupting the peaceful morning making you jump softly.
When you look at the screen, it shows a notification that the bookshelf you'd ordered weeks ago had finally arrived. You excitedly got out of bed, making your way to the bathroom quickly to ready yourself for the day.
Once you'd gotten ready your body was covered by your favorite pink dress and your hair was adorned by a white scarf that pushed your curly hair back from your face, instead allowing it to fall down your back except for the two strands you kept out in the front.
You looked in the large mirror, admiring your appearance before leaning forward a bit to look at yourself closer, applying a layer of lip-gloss to your full lips and decorating your ears with the large hoop earrings.
"Pretty." You says happily in your mind, giving yourself one last look over before grabbing your phone from the bed and making your way down the marble-tiled hall to the curved staircase that welcomed you to the vast entryway of your beautiful home.
The crystal chandelier above scattered tiny rainbows onto the marble floors as the sunlight bounced off each swaying piece of glass.
You rush to the dark wooded double front doors, opening them happily to be welcomed by the large box you'd been waiting oh so impatiently for.
You grab the box in a tight hug, attempting to move it only for it not to budge an inch. You release it with a sigh and a pout of your lips, placing your hands on your hips.
"Who knew a bookshelf could be so heavy.." you mutter to yourself, thinking about how you were going to get this box inside.
You walk back into the house, grabbing the phone you'd tossed onto the couch, staring at the search bar for a moment before typing "people who can move heavy things and fix things near me".
"Handyman.. that's what it's called.." you say softly, scrolling down the recommended pages as it pops up.
"Braun's Handyman Services..", you read out as you click on it. "hm.. says he's only ten minutes away, so.." You shrug before tapping on the link and getting the phone number.
You text the number, plopping down on the soft couch after sending the text.
Right on time, you see a truck pull into your driveway, a man getting out, a very handsome man in fact.
His blonde hair was short and his frame was quite tall and muscular, like he was crafted to be in a museum. He was dressed in a nice fitting white t-shirt and jeans that fit him just right.
You watch him walk up to the door, so lost in your admiration of his appearance that he had to knock quite a few times before it registered in your occupied mind that you should probably go open it for him.
"Oh!" you exclaim softly, rushing to the door, swinging it open with an awkward laugh.
"Sorry.. almost forgot I needed to open the door.. I like heard you knocking but my brain was like "what's that noise??" you say, rambling a bit as you looked up at his welcoming face, a gentle smile plastered on his lips as he looked down at you, his eyes almost like honey as the sun shined into them.
"That's quite alright ma'am.. this the box you were referrin' to in your text?" He says almost like he was trying not to laugh as he looks down at the unusual text you'd sent to the number on the website.
It included a picture of the box and no other words other than, "Big heavy box, help please. :)"
You nod, "Mhm, it's a bookshelf. I tried to move it but it's heavier than I thought it'd be.. didn't budge an inch."
You move out of his way, retreating back into the house, turning to see him lift the box as if it weighed nothing, putting it on his shoulder and walking inside.
"Anywhere in particular you want it?" He asks as he stands there with the box.
"Yeah, just right over there by the swan.. goose?.. statue.. I always get those confused.." you say waving your hand dismissively at the expensive decoration.
He looks over to the corner, with the fancy glass table and chair, noticing the large open space next to the statue and he gives a small chuckle as he makes his way over, placing the box down gently.
"Swan's a good guess." He says, laying the box flat on the floor and pulling the box cutter from his tool belt after he removes it from his waist and lays it out on the floor.
He carefully slices the box open and begins to pull out the pieces of finely carved bookshelf, the outer panels of it were decorated by fancy lines and intricate designs carved into the costly wood.
"This is a nice bookshelf." He comments on the intricate design, brushing his fingers over it softly.
"Thank you, I designed it myself.. wanted it to look like those fancy bookshelves in rich people's houses that are filled with all those old-fashioned, expensive books they never read."
He looks at the instruction book before grabbing two pieces beginning to screw them together.
"You read yours?" He asks without looking over at you as you'd made yourself comfortable on the fluffy white rug, watching him. You sit on your knees, smoothing out the short dress, placing your hands in your lap politely.
Your eyes are focused on his forearms, noticing the veins that protruded down to the top of his strong hands as he held the piece of wood in place.
"..No." You say softly in response to him. You hear him scoff, a smirk on his lips as he reaches for more screws, amused by your answer.
"Oh! I bought separate knobs for the cabinets at the bottom too.." You say excitedly moving to the table across the room to grab the bag with the knobs in it before hurrying back and handing it to him.
"They're sparkly." You say happily, watching him move the bag, watching the knobs glitter dramatically in the light.
"Well you've got a good eye for design. You always this passionate about furniture?"
"Only when it's pretty and I can get a handsome man to come put it together for me." You say, voice as sweet as sugar.
He stills his screwing for a second, looking up at you before looking back at the shelf, continuing.
"That so?"
"Mhm." you nod watching him continue to put together the tall bookshelf with ease, like he'd put this custom piece together time and time again before.
"You're quite bold, Miss Y/N."
"Was that bold? Oh.. I was just being honest. Whoops."
"Nothing wrong with honesty." He reassures warmly.
Another 20 minutes go by, and you and Reiner continue your small talk, conversation paused by a few short moments of comfortable silence.
He finishes the bookshelf, wiping it off carefully before placing the screwdriver back in his toolbelt.
"All finished, ma'am."
You stand and clap your hands together happily.
"Oh my.. it's so much prettier than I imagined!" You exclaim happily, trailing your eyes over the shelves, all the way down to the glittery handles you had him put on it instead of the dull, boring ones it came with.
"You wanna test it out? See how well it holds?" He says, his voice tearing your gaze away from the bookshelf as you turn to look at him, a look of confusion on your face."
"You mean like.. sit on it?"
He looks at you slightly dumbfounded, blinking slowly.
"Uhh.. well I meant the books. Like you can put your books on it now."
You feel heat flood your cheeks for a moment as you move to start gathering the books that sat on the floor.
"Oh! Right, duh.. I was just kidding."
He laughs softly, crossing his arms as he stands back watching you place the books on the shelves before placing some other items on top and in the drawers at the bottom.
"You know.. you're really something else." He says.
Once you finish you step back, admiring the shelf now filled with your books.
"It's beautiful. Thank you." You cheerily give him your gratitude, smile plastered on your face.
"It's no problem at all, Miss. Is there anything else you wanted me to look at while I'm here?"
You turn to him, crossing your arms, thinking.
"Hm.. well I bought a new chandelier for my bedroom but.. I wanna paint my walls before I put that up so.. oh! My coffee maker.. it's messed up.. like really messed up. I think it might be like possessed or something." You say waving your hand dismissively as you make your way to the kitchen.
"A possessed coffee maker?" He says, following behind you, walking into the large, open kitchen and to the coffee maker.
"Yeah it like.. growls at me or like a hissing.. it's creepy. really.."
He turns it on hearing the noise you were referring to before he pulls it forward a bit taking the back off of it.
"Have you been cleaning it?" He asks, looking at the back of it.
"Wait.. you have to clean it?? Like yourself? I thought that's what the hot water was doing.." You say, glossy lips slightly pouted, genuine confusion on your face.
"No ma'am.. the hot water is just for brewin' the coffee. I suppose that's what's wrong with it so I'll just clean it for you, should be good as new, alright? Got any vinegar?"
"Yeah.. strange choice of drink though.. I have other stuff.." you say softly, slight disgust on your face as you move to the cabinet to pull out the vinegar giving it to him.
"It's for the machine." He says as he takes it from you.
"Oh."
He rinses out the coffee maker with vinegar after realigning the tube that had popped out of place.
When he turns it back on the noise is gone, machine running smoothly.
"Wow! That's all I had to do? You're like a magician."
"I don't know about all that.. she just needed a good vinegar rinse.. might wanna let it run a couple more times before drinking any coffee from it though. Just to make sure all the vinegar taste is gone."
You figured he'd be getting ready to go soon but you really didn't want him to, hurriedly thinking of something to say to him.
"Uhh.. if you want.. I can make you a cup of coffee that won't taste like poison.. or I have lemonade, sweet tea, water... snacks.. lotta stuff.. I have goldfish.. they're cute.."
He picked up on you trying to stall him from leaving and decided he'd take the bait.
"Sweet tea is fine, I think I'll hold off on the goldfish though."
You smile happily, moving swiftly to grab a cup, putting him a bit of ice in it before opening the fridge, pouring him a glass of tea.
"Here you go."
He takes the cup from you giving a nod.
"Thank you."
You give him a timid smile in return. "No problem.. least I could do after you put together my bookshelf.. and fixed my coffee maker."
"So have you always been good at screwing things?" You ask hopping up to sit on top of the marble island in the middle of the kitchen before you look back at him.
He's standing there looking at you, the cup paused at his lips.
"Oh.. fuck.. I mean like have you always been good with your hands? I mean like fixing things with like screws and your hands and stuff.. not like that kind of.. screwing.." You ask, quickly trying to fix what you said.
He swallows the tea, sitting the cup on the counter he was leaned against before crossing his arms with an amused look in his eyes.
"Well.. that was somethin'."
You mentally facepalm. "Sorry.."
He smiles and waves his hand.
"I'm just teasing, no apology necessary." He says making you relax a bit before he continue speaking.
"I suppose I always had a thing for it. Started by taking things apart and puttin' em back together when I was a kid. Bicycles, music boxes.. stuff like that."
"That's impressive, I could never do something like that. I'm not exactly good with tools and such."
"What are you good at? Other than accidental innuendos?" He asks.
"You're not gonna let that go, huh? Hm.. well.. I'm good at design.. making things look pretty.. oh and shopping.. I'm really really good at that."
He looks around the kitchen, the living room visible from where he stands.
"I see. It's quite beautiful in here. Looks like a palace for a pretty little princess." He says, his eyes moving to you, not missing how pretty and soft you looked.
The way he looks at you makes your heart flutter softly before you look around, proud of the way your house turned out.
"Thank you.. I put a lot of time into it.."
"I can tell.. got your kinda vibe to it. Soft. Feminine."
"Suppose that is my vibe huh? I really hope I'm not keeping you up.. I know you probably have other houses to get to.." You say a bit of disappointment in your voice.
"Nah.. I'm actually not even supposed to be working today.. I just took this one when I saw the message come through. Feeling it'd be worth it, I suppose."
"Was it?" You ask looking at him as you sit on the countertop, drinking from your own cup.
"Definitely, never quite met anyone like you, ma'am."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
He smiles, finishing the cup of tea.
"Well. I suppose I should get outta your hair.." He says, his gaze pointed downward at the cup, thumb brushing against the decorated glass.
You pout a bit feeling your heart sink at the words.
"Do you have to go? I can find something else to break to make you stay.."
He looks at you, raising an eyebrow with a playful grin.
"Really? Gonna tear up all your pretty stuff just to keep me here?"
"If it'll work.. I'm really good at breaking stuff.. wouldn't take long."
He looks at your legs, thighs peeking from the bottom on the dress as the sweet smell of your perfume flutters through the air, filling his nose.
"You know.. you're a dangerous kinda woman.."
"How's that? I don't have any weapons or anything. Do you think I'm trying to keep you here to hurt you?"
He laughs are the look of genuine fear on your face, shaking his head.
"Not what I meant, ma'am. Just mean you got me over here to fix your bookshelf.. your coffee maker.. can't help but wonder what else you'll tempt me into puttin' my hands on.."
You look down at the dress, fingertips coming up to play gently with the edge of it that lays across your thighs, honestly a bit relieved that he didn't think you'd try and hurt him.
"Oh.." You look down at your hands that are rested in your lap.
From your peripheral you can see him beginning to move closer to you, the slow sound of his boots hitting the tiled floor almost sounded thunderous, a noise that for whatever reason sent butterflies straight through your stomach, a feeling of warmth following close behind.
He stops in front of you and although you don't look up, you feel him standing there, tall and broad. His presence makes you feel smaller, it's intimidating.
He sits the cup on the countertop next to you, the sudden clink of the glass startles you a bit and you look up at him.
"You alright, darlin'?" He asks calmly, his voice softer than it was just moments ago.
You nod, eyes drifting around his face, taking in his features as you see him for the first time this close. You notice the tiny scar near his eyebrow, the definition in his cheekbones, the arch in his nose, the few light freckles scattered scarcely across his cheeks, more so on the right half of his face than the other, and you notice the mesmerizing golden flecks in his irises as the sunlight bounces off of them.
"I'm alright." You finally respond softly, the tension between you two made your body feel ten times heavier, like you could no longer move. Your heart raced and you feel like maybe you should move but you really didn't want to.
"Don't get all timid on me now.. you were the one asking if I was good at screwin'. If that's not flirtin' I'm not sure what is, princess."
You can't help the smile that ran across your face as he brought up the comment you'd made again.
"I didn't mean.. I mean..," you voice trails off slightly, "..you didn't say no."
He lets out an amused scoff and grins playfully in return, "No.. I didn't."
A quiet moment follows. It was heavy but not in the uncomfortable way. Heavy in a way that made it feel like with each breath you took it somehow became harder to breathe. It was intense, a feeling you hadn't felt in a while, or maybe ever.
You weren't sure if the feeling was purely from the heat of the moment, the nerves, or from the way he was looking at you like he was already fantasizing about the way you'd taste if he buried his face between your thighs.
You tilt you head, giving him an innocent smile as you spoke.
"So.. is that like a yes.. a maybe?"
He takes a step even closer, the rough fabric of his jeans brushing against your knees as his hand comes up to pull lightly on the curl you left out, watching it bounce back into place.
"What do you think it is?"
While you want to think of a clever reply to give him, his close proximity takes over your brain filling your every thought with how intense the situation feels, how nervous he makes you, how much you want to take his hands and just put them right where you want them, the way he'd look at you when he slid in.
"Uhh.. I.. don't know but if you're trying to make me feel like I'm gonna explode then.. mission accomplished." You say, those words being the best response you could come up with in the moment.
He gives a chuckle in response, his finger still toying with the curl despite the fact that his gaze remained focused on your face.
"Explode? I haven't even touched you yet, baby?"
His hand comes down from your hair, his gaze finally moving down to the part of your thighs that's not covered by the dress as his fingers brush against your skin softly.
"I know.. crazy right?" You reply awkwardly, barely louder than a whisper.
"You gonna let me touch you?"
Your eyes move down to where his fingers touch you, watching as he grabs your thigh, squeezing it softly as his thumb rubs back and forth over the smooth skin.
"Mhm. I mean.. if it wouldn't you know be bad.. or get you into trouble.." Your voice softly begins to trail off, your heart beating like crazy.
"Darlin' I think it's already too late to worry about "trouble"."
"Right.." you say, fingers playing with the edge of your dress, unsure of what else to do with them.
He flattens his hand on your thigh, palm brushing higher up your leg until his fingertips just barely slip under the hem of you dress. His palm runs down between your thighs making your legs clamp shut, trapping his hand there.
He watches as your thighs squeeze his hand, not pulling it from between them.
"Want me to stop?" He asks, looking back up at you, meeting your gaze that lingered on him. "I'll step back.. just say the word."
Feeling as if your voice would fail you if you opened your mouth, you shake your head, not wanting him to stop.
"Alright then.. just relax for me." He says, voice lowering as he leans in, breath brushing over your neck as his lips just barely touch you.
Your thighs stay closed around his hand but he doesn't try to force them apart. Instead, you heard his voice, deep and smooth near your ear again.
"Relax.." He repeats.
The sound of his voice makes your legs relax, parting just enough for him to be able to move his hand.
He smirks against your skin, planting a soft kiss to your neck after he murmurs in soft praise, "There she is..".
He lets his hand trail up higher, heat from his palm spreading at your inner thigh as he squeezes it softly. He pushed higher slowly, giving you enough time to stop him if you want.
You don't, impatiently waiting for his hand to reach where you'd be craving it since the moment he walked in.
His fingers gently brush over the cloth of your panties covering your pussy, slipping further back slowly from your clit before he brings them back forward, earning a soft sigh of pleasure from your lips.
"Still okay?" He asks, lips parting from your neck just enough for him to speak.
You nod and he slides his hand into the top of your panties, feeling you bare against his fingers, you part your legs letting his fingers slip between your folds.
"Can't hear you." He mutters, sliding his middle finger inside slowly, paying close attention to the warmth of your walls spreading down his finger.
"Mm.. yes.. I'm okay.."
"Good girl."
He pulls his finger back out, circling the now wet digits around your hole before sinking it back in, slowly adding his ring finger along with it, feeling you stretch around them.
You bring your hand up to his shoulder, gripping the t-shirt lightly; your other hand moved to the back of his hair, fingers threading through the short locks as his continuing licking and kissing your neck, tongue brushing along your skin every now and then as his slightly parted lips pressed kisses at your neck.
"Oh, now you wanna touch me?" He grins, his fingers pushing deeper inside you, curling to hit that spot before he drags them back out and up to your clit, spreading the heat from your juices around the sensitive bud just to slide them back down and inside you once again.
You moan, gasping softly as your fingers curled in his hair making him chuckle at your response.
He kisses up your neck, to your jawline and your cheek before he softly captures your parted lips with his.
He sucks your bottom lip gently, biting it before pulling back just enough to come in again, your lips pressing together in a few soft, slow kisses.
He doesn't stop the movement of his hand, the veins in his forearm becoming more prominent as his fingers pump in and out of your cunt.
Each quiet moan is captured by his lips. He lets out a soft groan of his own, loving the way you sit there in the pretty dress with your legs spread letting him finger you like this. The smell of your sweet perfume and the taste of your strawberry flavored chapstick make his head spin like crazy.
He quickens the movement of his thick fingers just to pull them out and up to the clit, spreading the warmth. He does this over and over again, pulling soft moans from your mouth each time his fingers brush past the sensitive bud before sinking back inside you.
Your lips part softly, unable to keep up with his as his fingers move. He can't help but grin, feeling your fingers tighten their grip on his shirt. He moves his lips to your cheek and back down to your neck, trialing soft kisses.
Your soft moans near his ear sound like the most beautiful melody, sending chills down his spine.
"Fuck.. you sound so pretty.."
He pulls his fingers from you slowly, standing back straight again as he brings them to his lips. Your eyes focus on his, pleasure still written all over your face as your eyes move down to his lips, watching him take the messy fingers into his mouth.
The taste of your warm juices on his fingers makes his already hardening cock twitch against the rough fabric of the jeans.
You feel your stomach tighten as you watch him, anticipation feeling the air as he slowly pulls his fingers from his lips, swallowing the taste of you.
You mouth slightly waters at the sight, his lips glistening slightly from a mixture of your cream and his own saliva.
Your hands run up his chest, feeling the firmness of his muscles before they curl in the soft material of his shirt, allowing you to tug at him, silently asking him to come closer.
He takes a step toward you, standing right in front of the countertop with your legs spread to each side of his.
He looks down at you, gaze full of want as he feels your hand run upwards over his chest and to his broad shoulders as he plants his hands on your hips, fingers rubbing over the dress softly.
Your hands finally make their way up into the back of his hair, slightly scratching at his scalp as you pull his lips down to yours, kissing him softly before sucking his bottom lip, tasting yourself.
You hum at the flavor on his lips as he brings his tongue out to meet yours, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss.
His hands reach down to your ass, pulling you even closer to the edge of the counter, your body closer to his.
He brings his hands down to your thighs, his hands rough compared to your soft skin as his runs them up beneath your dress, hooking his fingers into your panties.
"Lift up." he says, pulling back from your lips.
You lift yourself from the counter just enough for him to pull your panties down letting you slip your feet from them.
As he holds the material he looks at them, fabric in the middle slightly darker from your arousal as he smirks, bunching them up in his hand before stuffing them in his pocket.
"Hm. You won't mind if I keep these, right?" His voice more so telling you you won't mind rather than asking.
He runs his hands back down the outside of your legs, reaching down to your ankles as he pulls your legs upward swiftly, making you fall back to your elbows on to wide island with a giggle from the unexpected, quick shift in position.
"Reiner.." you say softly, watching him take your foot in his large hand, bringing your leg up as he turns his head to the side to gently kiss at the skin just above your diamond anklet.
"Mhm?" He hums quietly, not stopping the soft kisses he continues to plant up your leg slowly, eventually reaching your calf, then your thigh.
He spreads your legs open, the fabric of the dress lifted just enough to give him a view of your wet cunt.
"Your pussy's so pretty.." He says just before leaning down, his mouth right above you.
"Can I?" He asks, breath fanning out over your cunt, making your hole clench around nothing.
"Yes.." you tell him in an airy, soft tone.
He doesn't waste another second, bringing his hands up, thumbs spreading open your lips before he drags his tongue over your pussy, flicking the tip of it over your clit slowly, making your legs jump.
He grins, twirling his tongue over your clit and sucking it gently between his soft lips before he releases with a soft pop.
"Mm.. you taste just as damn good as you look.." He mutters, warm air fanning out over your soaked cunt providing a cool sensation that's soon replaced by his eager tongue.
His hands move to the backs of your thighs, pushing you spread legs higher giving him better access to your pussy before he dips his tongue in your warm hole feeling the walls quickly clench around his tongue.
He pulls his tongue back out, dragging it flat back up to your clit, feeling your slippery folds part underneath welcoming his tongue between them as it travels back to your clit, circling it before moving back down and sinking into you once again.
You breath comes out in a soft gasp, lips parting as your legs twitch beneath the strong grasp of his rough hands.
He lets out a low hum in satisfaction as he eats you out hungrily, licking, sucking, and slurping at your pussy.
He brings one of his hands down from your thigh, sinking his middle finger into your welcoming hole once again, dragging it out to the tip just to sink his ring finger in alongside it. He pulls back just enough to watch his fingers slide in and out of your walls, juices coating the digits heavily.
He's entranced by your soaked pussy and the creamy streaks it leaves on his fingers. The lewd, wet noises your walls make each time he retracts his fingers and your soft, whimpering moans are music to his ears.
He brings his other hand up to plant it flat on top of your mound, thumb pressing into your clit, massaging slow, deep circles over it while his fingers continue to slip in and out of your pussy. He's spreading them when he pushes them deep to stretch your hot, plush walls around them, twisting his wrist to curl the tips of them up into that spot inside you as he watches cream gush out a bit with each outward drag.
"Shit.. could get addicted to this pussy.." He mutters more to himself than to you before sliding his fingers out leaving you feeling empty as he sucks them clean.
He stands back up, seeing you lying on the elegant countertop with your legs parted still, a look of need and lust in your eyes.
He leans down over you, one hand holding his broad form over you, the other slipping beneath the dress, making it's way up to your waist.
You bring your hands up, gentle touch brushing along his cheeks as you pull him down your lips. It's a soft kiss to begin with, lips coming together gently and parting repeatedly before his hold on your waist tightens, tongue slipping past your lips to feed you the taste of yourself as your own slid alongside his.
He pulls back just enough to speak, "Please let me have you.."
His deep, smooth voice brings that fluttery feeling back to your stomach as you nod softly, voice quiet, "Okay.."
He gives you one last quick kiss before standing straight, lifting you with him. His hands grip your ass, keeping your legs wrapped around him as he makes his way over to the couch, sitting you down, letting your manicured feet hit the furry white rug below softly.
"Got somethin' to put down, darlin'? Wouldn't wanna mess up your pretty lil couch." He asks looking down at you, bringing his hands down to his belt, keeping his eyes focused on you. His gaze and the realization of what was about to happen makes a sudden wave of nerves rush over you.
"It's a.. uhh.. a blanket.. I can wash it.." You say, pointing to the end of the long couch, to an ottoman filled with blankets.
He follows where you motion after unzipping his jeans, pulling a large, thick blanket from the chest before laying it out on the couch.
He stands in front of it, nodding to motion you closer to him.
When you step up to him slowly, his hands quickly come to your hips yanking you closer to him as his hands bunch up the material of the dress.
"Let's get this off.." He says lifting the fabric over your head and tossing it aside.
You stand there in just your bra as he moves, swiftly taking his own shirt off and bringing his hands back to his pants, pushing his jeans down and bringing the boxers down with them.
Your eyes can't help but move down his body, noticing the defined muscles in his arms and chest, the way his abs lead down to the deep v-lines and the blonde patch of hair trailing all the way down to the base of his fat cock that hung slightly just from the weight of it.
He watches your eyes run over his body with a bit of a cocky smirk as he takes a seat on the blanket, legs spread apart. He throws one arm across the back of the couch as his other hand comes to the base of his heavy cock, holding it at attention.
"Come ride me, pretty girl."
You make your way to his lap, straddling him before you start to sink yourself down on his cock, feeling the girthy length spreading you open wider than his fingers did.
You hands run from his chest to his shoulders as you move all the way down, his cock creating a feeling of fullness in your lower belly.
As you make your way down he lets out a deep sigh, hands running from your hips and up your back to undo your bra, freeing your breasts.
"That's a good girl.." He praises, pulling you forward, making his cock hit your spot deep pulling a gasp from your lips as he latches his mouth onto your nipple, sucking the bud gently in between swirling his tongue around it.
He wraps his strong arms around you tight, stopping you from being able to move as his cock stayed nestled deep inside you, fat, leaky tip pressing against your cervix. His mouth switched back and forth, sucking and licking at your hard nipples.
He starts to move his hips, rocking them and rubbing the sensitive head of his cock against your cervix the pressure intense but so good at the same time.
He begins to feel your pussy grow wetter at the deep stimulation, making his eyebrows furrow as he continues lapping at your tits. In between the attention he's giving you he lets out deep, airy sighs, "Fuck..ahh.."
His grip on your body loosens, allowing you to straighten up a bit as he brings his hands to your waist just beneath your ribs. He starts slowly sliding you up and down his cock, veins trailing down from his flexing biceps protruding as he moves you with ease.
His eyes move down to the wet mess you left behind at the base of his cock and all in his happy trail while he was planted deep in your pussy. The sight of it along with the warmth and your cunt steadily leaving more and more creamy streaks and rings up and down his dick.
"Shit.. makin' a fuckin' mess baby.." He moans, feeling you plant your hands on his tensed abs as you rock yourself on his cock, rolling your hips as his hands move down to your ass gripping it harshly as his head leans back against the couch, his cheeks flushed and hot, lips parted while he enjoys the feeling of you riding him.
He licks his lips, biting his bottom lip softly, quieting his moan for just a moment as his heavy hand slaps down on your ass, immediately squeezing the same spot, making you moan louder, whimpering at the stinging sensation.
"Reiner.." you moan loudly as he does it again bringing one of his hands up to wrap his hand around your throat, pressure from his fingers immediately making your moans grow silent, the only sounds in the room now being his deep groans and huffs of air and the wet, squelching of your leaking cunt around his dick.
His hand spanks your ass again, even harder this time. There's a sadistic gleam in his eyes knowing damn well it'd make you wanna cry out but the grip on your neck stops you from being able to do so.
You're body jerks forward pulling off his dick a bit just for him to snap his own back up, pushing his cock deeper again.
Your eyebrows furrow, mind feeling as if it was melting in this moment, lips parted, as saliva dripped from your bottom lip while your eyes focused on his. His gaze darkens as he lets his tongue slip past his lips to catch it before yanking you forward to catch your lips in a messy kiss, as he pushes you back slowly, a string of spit keeps you connected before he brings you back in, sucking it gently from your bottom lip.
When he finally releases your throat, your body falls against his as you let out a soft gasp for air. Your lips attach to his neck as your eyes close, feeling him fuck up into you rhythmically.
The view over your shoulder allows him to get a glimpse of your reflection in the large, arched mirror on the wall. His hand comes up to the back of your head, holding you against him as he watches his dick pump in and out of your messy cunt.
His hand spreads your cheeks apart more, white trails of cream running down his heavy balls.
"Shit." He hisses out, focusing on the sight, loving the way you move and the way the curve of your spine looks while he fucks you.
The longer he watches the quicker his breathing becomes, stomach tightening as he feels your teeth bite down into his neck, strings of sweet moaning rushing to his ears as your cunt drips and squirts against him, running down his dick, pelvis and balls to the blanket below, pussy clamping down around his cock as you cum.
The feeling of your pussy spasming around him immediately making his own orgasm follow yours, his hips slow down to jerky thrusts as your pussy milks hot ropes of cum from his shaft.
Feeling him fill up your cunt with the thick liquid makes you start to slip yourself up and down his cock slow. Your unexpected movement makes him let out a moan.
He watches his cum gush out your pussy around his dick in the mirror. He sucks in a sharp breath, his hands gripping your ass painfully hard.
"Fuck. Fuck.. baby.. shit.." He hisses, voice now coming out in overstimulated moans, watching his cum dripping down over his balls further making the blanket beneath you two messier.
You release the bite you had on his neck as you stop moving keeping his soft cock buried inside you while you both catch your breath.
When you pull back, you see the intense red, bite mark on his skin.
"Sorry.." you mutter softly.
He turns his head to look up at you, giving you a tired smile.
"It's just fine, princess."
You both sit there for a minute, the blanket an absolute mess before he stands with you still wrapped around him. He places you down on the rug gently, making sure your okay standing before you both get cleaned up, You grab the blanket throwing it in the wash on the way.
Once dressed you both make your way back to the living room and he brings his hand up to pull down a curl that's just slightly outta place.
"Suppose I should be gettin' outta here, miss.. errands to run, early work day tomorrow."
"Gonna make time to come see me again? I'll break something if I have to." You say lightheartedly with a sweet smile.
"Tell you what, just shoot me another text, maybe another "Big heavy box, help please." He says teasing you, "And I'll be on my way, no breaking necessary."
"Anytime?"
"Anytime." He reassures.
You give him a small nod swaying softly as he gives you a small nod in return, smirk on his face before he turns to the door, placing his hand on the doorknob, opening it.
"Have a good day, miss y/n."
He says, looking at you once more before pulling the door closed behind him.
⥠Thank you for reading! I hope it was at least somewhat worth the wait! âĄ
18+ SMUT!
personal trainer!sanemi shinazugawa x reader - ao3
synopsis: sanemiâs workout plan? stretches, strength training, and fucking you until you forget how to stand (w.c: 18k)
tags: filthy smut, slow burn porn w/ plot, praise kink, degradation kink, overstimulation, throat fucking, handjob, messy blowjob, spit play, missionary, doggy style, hair pulling, light choking, cum on stomach, creampie, bath play, size kink?, um crying from pleasure, princess kink, praise + roughness, possessive sanemi, overstimmed reader, gentle aftercare
notes: ok well this is my first sanemi fic but i wanted him carnal asf. im sorry yall. i tried my bestest. feel free to hit me if i got his char wrong
the app was supposed to be easy. click a few buttons, fill out your goals, choose your trainer preferences. your coworker swore by itâsaid she got paired with a girl who matched her body type and pushed her just enough. it sounded perfect for you. you didnât want to get shredded, just toned, feel stronger in your own skin.
the profile you matched with had said female, background in yoga and light strength. exactly what you thought you needed.
except when you show up at the gym, duffel bag clutched in one hand, scanning the rows of treadmills and squat racks, it isnât a yoga girl who walks toward you.
itâs himâ well like itâs a him..
white hair, sharp and a little wild, pale scarred skin. his arms look like they could snap barbells for fun. ripped doesnât even begin to cover itâheâs built like a wall, 5â10, shoulders broad enough to make you feel small just standing there. and those pale purple eyes lock onto yours in a way that feels⊠dangerous. good lawd.
he stops in front of you, towel slung around his neck, voice low and amused, âsystem mustâve glitched. you were expecting someone else.â itâs not really a question. you blink up at him, thrown off. âuh⊠yeah. i thought i matched with a woman.â
his jaw tics, gaze skimming the busy gym around you before settling back. he mutters, almost under his breath, â... dangerous.â
you tilt your head, not sure what he means, but the words make something in your chest skip, âiâuhâitâs fine,â you say quickly, a little too quickly, because youâre already embarrassingly attracted to him. âi mean⊠youâre already here. i can still pay you for the session, even ifââ
he cuts you off with a sharp shake of his head. âare you sure? i donât wanna make you uncomfortable.â his tone is serious, no teasing in it, like heâs actually concerned about the idea of you being stuck with him.
you swallow, heat creeping up the back of your neck. âno, youâre fine.â
he studies you for a long moment, and you can feel your pulse in your ears. he shifts his weight, scratches at the back of his neck before finally sticking a hand out. âshinazugawa. sanemi.â his voice is rough but not unfriendly, and his palm is wide, calloused, warm when you put your hand in his.
you almost forget to say your own name, tongue tripping over it when you finally do. his grip is firm but careful, like heâs holding himself back, and when he lets go you already miss the contact more than you should.
âi specialize in strength training,â he says, like heâs reciting off a checklist. âpowerlifting. endurance. i do some conditioning too.â
you blink at him, not sure how to respond. powerlifting sounds like the opposite of what you were aiming for. still, you manage a small, âoh. okay. good, uh⊠good to know.â
he quirks a brow, clearly catching your hesitation, but doesnât comment.
you tuck your hands behind your back, trying to recover. âmy goalâs just to⊠tone up, i guess. build a little muscle, but nothing crazy. i just want to feel better about myself. stronger. not, you knowâŠâ you glance at his arms before you can stop yourself. ââŠnot like that.â
it slips out before you can catch it, and you wish you could snatch the words back. no offense. no offense. no offense. please donât choke me out with those muscles. or do..?
sanemiâs lips twitch, a small, sharp laugh breaking through. âdonât worry. iâm not gonna stick you under a barbell your first day. tone, huh? yeah, we can work with that.â the sound of his laugh lingers, husky and a little mocking, but not cruel. it makes your stomach do an unsteady flip, and you busy yourself nodding, trying to look anywhere but at the way his shirt clings to his chest.
his laugh fades but the smirk doesnât, lingering like he knows more than heâs letting on. you hate that it makes your chest feel warm, like heâs already got the upper hand. âalright,â he says finally, eyes flicking over you in a quick, assessing sweep. itâs not sleazyâmore professional than anythingâbut it still makes your skin prickle, like heâs actually mapping your body, âif toneâs the goal, weâll start simple. bodyweight, form checks, nothing heavy yet.â
you nod too fast, blurting, âsounds good,â when really all you can think about is the way his shirt strains against his shoulders. he tilts his head, one corner of his mouth lifting again. âyou sure youâre good with me? we can reschedule, get you with who you wanted.â
the question sounds casual, but thereâs something in his eyesâtesting you. your eyes scan him âiâm fine,â you say, though it comes out breathy. you clear your throat. âreally. iâm fine.â
he hums, like he doesnât quite believe you, but accepts it anyway. he gestures toward the open mats by the mirrors, a lazy sweep of his arm that makes his bicep flex in a way you pretend not to notice.
âwarmups first. letâs see what weâre working with.â
you sling your duffel onto a bench, heart pounding harder than it should for something as innocent as stretching. you follow him to the mats, trying not to watch the way his shoulders move under that tank top. the mirror doesnât helpâit doubles everything, forces you to see how small you look next to him. still, once youâre both down on the floor, the nerves start to ease. heâs just a guy, after all. a really hot guy, yeah, but still just⊠a trainer. câmon now donât be weird.
he runs you through some simple stretches, demoing each one before nodding for you to copy. arms up, bend forward, twist at the waist. you match his pace, your muscles loosening, the rhythm of it grounding you.
âso,â you say between a hamstring stretch and a quad pull, âdo they really do pizza fridays here? my coworker said it was a thing.â
sanemi snorts, pushing into a lunge. âpizza? yeah, iâve seen the signs. dumbest shit ever. why would a gym hand out pizza?â he shakes his head, a sharp laugh under his breath. âmight as well throw in free beer, too.â
you laugh, the sound surprising even yourself with how easy it comes. âguess itâs one way to guarantee repeat business.â
his mouth quirks again, and for the first time, the smirk doesnât feel like itâs at your expense. âmaybe. never touched the stuff though. no clue if itâs even good.â
the banter feels easy, almost normal. your chest doesnât feel as tight anymore, your legs donât shake just because heâs standing close. itâs strangeâyouâre still aware of him, the size, the scars, the sheer presenceâbut itâs not overwhelming anymore.
âsee?â he mutters, rolling his shoulder as you both switch sides. ânot so bad, right?â you grin, bent over one knee. âdepends. you gonna make me regret this later?â his laugh rumbles, low and sharp. âmaybe.â
he claps his hands once, sharp enough to draw a few glances from people nearby. âalright. warmupâs done. time to see what you can actually do.â
your stomach flips again, but he doesnât give you time to dwell. he drops into a push-up, perfect form, arms locking and unlocking in steady rhythm. his voice is muffled against the floor, âgive me five. show me your form.â
you blink down at him, half horrified. âpush-ups? already?â
âdonât whine,â he shoots back, not even winded as he hits ten before popping back onto his feet like it was nothing. âfive. thatâs all.â
you lower yourself to the mat, trying to remember how your gym teacher explained this in middle school. hands planted, back as straight as you can manage, you dip down once, twice, three timesâthen collapse on the fourth with an undignified huff.
sanemi snorts. not unkind, but loud enough that your face goes hot. ânot bad,â he says, crouching beside you. âspine needs to be straighter, though. like this.â
his palm flattens between your shoulder blades, the heat of it surprising even through your shirt. he presses lightly, guiding, while his other hand brushes the curve of your hip to shift your angle. âthere. feel that? tighter. keep your core up.â
you manage a shaky nod, heart hammering for a reason that has nothing to do with exercise.
âdonât look at me,â he adds, a faint grin tugging his mouth as you immediately glance at him. âfloor. always floor.â
âbossy,â you mutter, biting down a smile as you reset your position.
âbetter than letting you blow your back out on day one,â he shoots back, voice rough but faintly amused. you push through the last two reps, arms trembling, and collapse on the mat with a groan.
sanemi crouches again, forearms braced on his knees, eyeing you with something like approval. ânot bad for a start. weâll work on endurance. core strength first, tone second. youâll thank me later.â
you blow out a breath, hair sticking to your forehead. âif i can move tomorrow.â
âyouâll move,â he says with certainty, standing and offering his hand to pull you up. âwhether youâll like me tomorrowâthatâs another story.â
he doesnât waste a second after pulling you back onto your feet. before you can even catch your breath, heâs launching into what sounds like a memorized scriptâsafety precautions, injury prevention, hydration, warm-down routines.
âformâs everything,â he says, pacing a little in front of you as if heâs giving a lecture. âyou do it wrong, youâre out with a busted joint or slipped disc, and all your workâs wasted. always start light, test the range, build up. you push past what your bodyâs ready for? congratulationsâyouâre fucked for six weeks minimum.â
you blink at him, a little startled at the bluntness. ââŠinspirational.â
he huffs, but the corner of his mouth twitches. âiâm not here to make it sound pretty. iâm here to make sure you donât wreck yourself.â
you nod, pretending to take it all in while your eyes canât help flicking to the curve of his jaw, the way a vein runs down his bicep as he gestures. he catches you drifting and snaps his fingers once. âhey. you listening?â
âyeah, yeah,â you say quickly, scrambling to sound engaged. âhydration, form, donât wreck myself. got it.â
he squints at you but lets it slide. âso⊠how many clients do you usually take on?â you ask, trying to steer the spotlight away from yourself. âdepends,â he shrugs. âi donât do group stuff. just one-on-one. keeps it clean. i hate people screwing around with machines when they donât know what theyâre doing.â
âyou sound like you really love your job,â you tease.
he gives a dry laugh, shaking his head. âloveâs a strong word. but i know what iâm doing, and i donât half-ass it. thatâs enough.â
you hum, stretching your arms overhead again, partly to ease the ache, partly to stop staring at him head-on. âso what do you do if a client bails? like, quits halfway?â
âthey always come back.â his answer is immediate, âmaybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but they always come back when they realize coasting doesnât work. everybody wants results. nobody wants the grind. i just wait âem out.â thereâs something in the conviction of his voice that makes your skin prickle again, like heâs talking about more than workouts, âthat sounded kind of ominous,â you joke, forcing a laugh. he only smirks, not bothering to deny it.
after an hour of form checks, pushups that left your arms jelly, and his endless rambling about proper hydration and rest days, you finally drop onto the bench with your duffel. your body feels wrung out but light, like maybe you actually accomplished something. sanemi stands over you, towel slung across his shoulder, barely winded like he didnât just demo every exercise twice.
âgood work,â he says, and the words sound rare coming from him. âfirst sessions usually suck. you did fine.â â âfine,â you echo, blowing a strand of hair off your face. âthatâs a generous grade.â
he huffs, and then, out of nowhere, âcâmon. iâll buy you a smoothie. post-workout.â
you blink. âoh, uh, thatâs nice, but you donât have toââ
âi didnât say i had to,â he cuts in, already grabbing his bag. âdonât even worry about it. place across the street does decent ones. protein, fruit, all that shit.â but before you can argue, youâre already following him out, the gymâs heavy doors swinging behind you. takes one good lookâ left and rightâ then drags you across the way.
the smoothie bar is small, crowded with bright posters of bananas and kale. you order something safe, and he orders something that sounds like it belongs in a bodybuilderâs diet, extra protein on top of protein.
you sit across from him, plastic cup sweating between your palms. it feels weirdly casual, not trainer-client anymore.
âso,â you say after a sip, âwhat got you into all this? the gym life.â
sanemi leans back, rolling the straw between his teeth before answering. âfamily stuff. i was always the angry kid, i guess? gym gave me somewhere to dump it. turned out i was good at it, so i stayed.â
you nod, listening, curious, âmy brotherâs into it now,â he adds, and thereâs a flicker of pride under his rough tone. âkidâs in high school. iâve been training him to powerlift. it keeps him out of trouble, gives him focus. gives me something to do.â
âthatâs⊠actually really sweet,â you say before you can stop yourself. he groans, scrubbing a hand through his hair. âdonât call it that. heâs a pain in my ass most days.â
you smile into your smoothie, hiding it with the straw. âstill. sounds like you care.â he doesnât answer right away, just gives you a look across the table.Â
the smoothie cups end up empty quicker than you expect, conversation tapering into a comfortable lull. when you both step back outside, the air is cooler, carrying the faint tang of car exhaust and fried food from a place down the block. you sling your duffel over your shoulder, adjusting the strap as you walk side by side.
sanemi doesnât talk at first, just shoves one hand into his pocket, the other holding his phone. then, he stops and holds it out toward you. âhere. take my number.â you blink at him. âyour number?â he clears his throat, âyeah. if you want it,â he says, tone blunt but not unkind. âsessions, questions, whatever. easier than going through that app.â
you hesitate for a beat, then unlock your phone and pass it to him. he types fast, saves himself in your contacts with nothing but sanemi in all caps, and hands it back rather quickly. you brush it off.
âyâknow what,â he adds, rolling his shoulders like heâs brushing something off himself, âdonât worry about charging me. weâll just do this whole thing until you feel better âbout yourself.â
your brows lift. âwhat, like⊠free?â â âdonât make a big deal out of it,â he mutters, already looking ahead as he starts walking again. âyouâll stick with it longer if youâre not stressing over money. consider it⊠investment.â
the word hangs in the air between you, heavier than it should. you clutch your phone tighter, his name glowing back at you on the screen, and canât help the flutter that sparks in your chest.
â
the next morning, you wake up and immediately regret every life choice that led you here. your thighs are on fire, your arms feel like bricks, and your stomach aches every time you shift like someone slipped weights under your ribs overnight. it takes a good five minutes just to roll to the edge of the bed, groaning into your pillow.
half buried under your blanket, you reach for your phone and scroll down to the new contact sitting there in all caps: SANEMI. your thumb hovers for a second before you type.
you: i canât move.
you: is this normal?
it takes him only a minute to respond.
sanemi: welcome to the club.
sanemi: sore means itâs working. but donât die. and drink water.
you snort, immediately regretting it as your abs cramp.
you: donât die?? very reassuring.
sanemi: youâll live.
sanemi: whenâs your next free slot? weâll go again.
you stare at the screen, part exasperated, part weirdly eager, and type out your schedule. session booked.
â
the weeks fall into a pattern after that.
the gym becomes a place you donât dread anymore. its rubber mats, chalk-dusted air, and faint smell of disinfectant settle into something almost comforting. and always, sanemi is thereâwhite hair a little messy, tank tops showing scars you try not to stare at too long(and fail each passing time), towel looped casually around his neck. he swears that cooling towel really works.
the workouts vary but the rhythm stays the same.
squats with him crouched nearby, sharp eyes locked on your knees, his hand occasionally brushing your arm when he adjusts your stance. planks with him dropping down beside you, counting seconds in that low, steady voice until your arms tremble and give out. bodyweight circuits where he paces behind you, tossing out corrections and encouragement in the same breath.
between sets, you talk. small things at first: about the music blaring overhead (âthis song fucking sucksâ âitâs sabrina carpenter sanemi.â âand what does that got to do with what i just said?!â), about your job, about the way pizza fridays really are a thing at the gym.
eventually, the talks deepen. he mentions his younger brother again, how heâs been training him for powerlifting in their garage, how the kid complains through every rep. you in turn tease him, call him a supportive big brother, and he groans, muttering for you to shut up while the faintest smile tugs at his mouth. even though he agrees. sometimes he laughsâshort, sharp, like he doesnât mean to let it out. you find yourself waiting for those moments, the way his eyes soften just a little when they meet yours in the mirror.
by the third week, youâre not counting down minutes until the session ends. Â
the session winds down with you both on the mats, stretching out tired muscles, the mirrors catching every angle of you beside him. the gym is quieter now, most of the morning crowd cleared out, leaving only the low hum of treadmills and the faint clatter of a barbell being racked somewhere in the back. the air smells of rubber mats and faint citrus from the spray bottles lined along the wall.
âwell, congrats,â sanemi says suddenly, breaking the quiet. he tosses his towel over one shoulder, the ends damp with sweat. âbeen at this a month now. youâre doing great.â
you glance up at him, surprised, because he doesnât hand out praise like candy. his face is serious, thoughâsharp lines softened just a little around his mouth, pale eyes holding steady on you. âreally?â you ask, sitting up straighter, hair sticking damply to your neck.
âyeah.â his voice is blunt, but his expression doesnât quite match the roughness. âyour formâs cleaner. reps go smoother. youâre not whining half as much.â you huff, rolling your eyes, but the twitch of a smile breaks through before you can help it. he smirks in return, but it doesnât last longâhis gaze shifts, trailing downward in a way that feels less like a trainer and more like a man looking at you.
itâs subtle at first. the curve of your shoulders, the line of your waist where your shirt clings, the strength starting to show in your thighs. but then it lingers. his jaw tightens, like he realizes too late how long heâs been staring.
you feel the weight of it, heat creeping up your neck. he clears his throat, jerks his gaze away toward the wall. âsorry. habit. just⊠checking progress.â the apology sounds gruff, but the tips of his ears are faintly pink. you tug at your shoelace, trying to ground yourself. âprogress, huh?â
his eyes flick back to you for the briefest moment, softer this time, before he looks away again. âyouâre stronger. and it shows.â the words come out low, almost reluctant, like heâs not used to complimenting people. but thereâs no mistaking the honesty in his expressionâthe way his brow eases, the tension in his mouth slackens, just for a second.
the silence that follows isnât awkward, exactly. itâs charged, a silence that hums like static under your skin. then, you laugh a little too bright, a weak little spark trying to make sense of the static between you. âthanks,â you say, fingers smoothing sweat from your knee like you can iron out the heat crawling up your neck. âi got it. iâuhâappreciate it.â
he nods, eyes flicking to the clock, the towel sliding to his other shoulder. âheads up,â he says, voice rough like gravel, âiâll be out next week. reunion. i wonât be around for about a week.â
your head perks up. âoh, fun. what are you doing for it?â he sighs, not at you, but at the thought of it. âold crew,â he says, mouth tipping like the word as if he didnât want to say it. âweâre meeting at some resort. my friend tengen picked it. he said it was flashy enough. whatever that really means.â
you grin. âthat sounds fun. sun, nap, tans, maybe run up his credit card. iâm jealous.â sanemi chuckles at your suggestion, âyeah,â he says, then breathes out like fun is heavier than it should be. âitâll be fine until they start bugging me about my relationship.â
you angle toward him, elbows on your knees, soreness forgotten. âoh? and what about it?â his look lands on you, sharp at first, then softening like he changes his mind, well iâm glad you asked shinobu. âthatâs the thing,â he says, a dry little laugh cutting off at the edge, âi donât have one. they wonât let it go.â
you widen your eyes. ânot even a secret girlfriend you donât reveal to anyone?!â his mouth crooks. âum⊠does a barbell count?â â âuh yeah, if youâre a loser. of course.â you say, and he laughs for real, short and warm.
he fiddles with the edge of his tank, thumb dragging the fabric once, eyes taking a slow path along your face before he sets them back on yours. âthey all paired off,â he says. âhouses, cats and dogs,holiday cards. they see me and think iâm missing a piece.â
you tilt your head. âare you?â he chews on that, jaw working, not irritated, just honest. âdepends on the day. i like my quiet. i like not explaining myself.â a small shrug. âthen they ask if iâm lonely, and now iâm thinking about it.â
âclassic,â you murmur. then you nudge your sneaker lightly into his. âyou could lie,â you say. âtell them youâre in a committed relationship with leg day.â
âtheyâd buy it,â he deadpans. âor,â you say, pretending to examine the frayed lace on your shoe, âyou could tell them youâre seeing someone. mysterious, charming, has excellent taste in pop.â
he groans. âyou and that sabrina song.â
âitâs catchy.â
âit sucks.â
âyouâre grumpy.â
âyouâre biased. i bet you donât even like espresso!â
you smile. âokay, serious question. if you could make them understand one thing about you that isnât a relationship status, what would it be?â his gaze sharpens the way it does when he lines up your knees over your toes. âthat iâm not wasting time,â he says. âiâm building something even if it doesnât look like theirs.â a beat, quiet and true. âthat iâm not behind.â
you nod, a soft hum catching in your chest. âyou arenât.â he searches your face like heâs checking your balance, like truth has a posture and he wants to see if youâre keeping it. the purple in his eyes warms at the edges. âwhat about you,â he asks, lower now, curiosity slipping in, âpeople bug you about all that?â
âall the time,â you say. âfamily chats, coworkers, the algorithm. everybodyâs got a countdown theyâre trying to hand me.â
âyeah,â he says, like he knows the sound of that pressure. âif it helps,â you add, feeling braver than a minute ago, âyou can tell them youâre seeing someoneâ you can name drop me if you want. it keeps you booked, it keeps you busy, it looks like a relationship on paper, just, you know, no kissing.â
his look drifts down your mouth and back up like he didnât mean to take the long way. âalmost,â he says, and the word sits between you, warm as the lights humming over the racks. you clear your throat âtext me when you land,â you say, and the ask comes out natural. âso i know you didnât get kidnapped by a bachelorette party.â
ânot my scene,â he says, quick. âprove it,â you tease just as quick.
his phone is already in his hand, the glow skimming his knuckles. âiâll send a picture,â he says. âno women. maybe a pool, maybe a drink.â
âwith the tiny umbrella.â
âyâknow whatâ sure, lady.â he agrees, still watching you. he thinks as you speak a bit more, making mental notes. a little note that says send her the picture, donât forget the umbrella, book the next session, remember the way she looked right now when the gym went quiet and the air smelled like lemon and rubber, and you shift your weight on the mat, feeling the day inside your muscles, feeling the week stretching out in front of you, the promise of a photo, the next appointment blinking to be set, the doorâs metal bar cool under your palm when you push it open into the bright outside where the sky sits high and wide and waiting
â
you clock in, grind through the morning, and blink your way to lunch a few minutes late. by the time the sun shifts in the windows, your shift is over. the only thing left is the ride home. your phone buzzes while youâre still in the parking lot, sun slipping low across the hood of your car. you donât even have to check who it is.
sanemi: boarding.
sanemi: this place smells like hand sanitizer and slight ass.
you snort. your reflection in the screen grins back at you.
you: send proof�
you: and i want the tiny umbrella when you land.
a beat, then a photo drops in. aisle seat, his knee in black joggers, a blurry wing through the oval window. his forearm takes up half the frame, veins and pale scars, the corner of a safety card peeking in like a photobomb.
sanemi: happy?
you: deeply moved. thank you big guy
sanemi: yw
he doesnât message you for a couple hours. assuming he was already on board flying. youâre halfway through a shower when it buzzes again across the sink. dripping and wrapped in a towel, fly out of the shower to swipe and answer it.
a room photo. big resort bed, too many pillows, white sheets pulled tight. thereâs a balcony door cracked open to blue water and a slice of sky. his bag sits on a chair, black and beat up, one strap hanging. his shoes are kicked half under the desk like he walked out of them mid-thought. the mirror catches him a little at the edge, shirt clinging from travel, hair a mess. he didnât mean to catch himself like that. he sent it anyway.
sanemi: not bad. no tiny umbrella yet.
you: oh my god that bed looks so comfyy
another photo, closer, his hand holding a plastic cup near the balcony. there is, in fact, a tiny purple umbrella jammed next to a lime wedge. the ocean blurs behind it. his thumb takes up the bottom of the frame.
sanemi: congratulations. you win.
you: i always do. also nice thumb
three dots. then:
sanemi: stfu
sanemi: tell me what to order for dinner so you stop bullying my thumb
you drop onto your bed and kick your feet like a child.
you: show me menu
he does
sanemi: i might wing it.
you: that grilled plate with the pineapple thing
twenty minutes. you scroll, you half-start a show, you donât watch it. then your phone lights up in a tiny burst.
plate pic. grilled fish, char lines perfect, pineapple salsa scattered like confetti. another pic, hand hovering over a bowl of something green with chips stuck in at odd angles. the last one is a crime scene close-up of a churro torn in half with chocolate dripping. the angle is ugly. it makes you laugh harder.
you: i mean it looks good but ngl your photo skills are kinda ass!
sanemi: fuck off. the contract didnât come with âmake sure you can take photos wellâÂ
a bit later a blurry video lands. two seconds long. his wrist flicks past the camera, a sparkly beaded bracelet spelling something you canât make out. thereâs laughter in the background, someone yelling his name, the beat of a poolside song that sounds like last summer and sunscreen. you replay it three times like a creep.
you: itâs so cute what the heck!
another message arrives almost on top of that one.
sanemi: they asked about my love life.
you: and you said
sanemi: i said iâm training someone mean who likes pop music and bullies me
you: mean?
sanemi: extremely.
you: do they approve of your fake relationship with leg day
sanemi: tengen asked if leg day treats me right.
you: and?
sanemi: i said it ruins me and i keep going back. #toxic
â
you spend the week traveling in small circles. work, errands, laundry half folded on the couch. the microwave beeps at midnight, the neighborâs dog cries at the mailman, and your shoes leave the same crescent of dust by the door. you keep your phone faceup on the counter like a lighthouse.
he pings when he can. bad wifi, busy schedule, the ocean chewing up his reception.
sanemi: poolâs loud
you: sunscreen on your ears pls
sanemi: not a child
you: famous last words before sunburn
a photo lands at lunch on day two. a palm leaf shadow cut across concrete, his foot at the edge of the frame, bracelet glittering. tengenâs laugh bleeds in from somewhere off screen. in the evenings you do band walks in your living room. you shuffle past the couch, past the wilted plant that you've been meaning to throw out, past your reflection in the dark tv. you hear his voice anyway. chin up. tuck your ribs. breathe.
you: i did twenty minutes
sanemi: do twenty five tomorrow
midweek your coworker drags you to a cheap diner. the vinyl seat squeaks, and the waitress calls you honey. you tell her about the trainer who hates your pop playlist and sends you pictures of food like a dad on a field trip. you were teased endlessly about if hes hot or not. you had to show them a photo of him in the app when the questions piled up. your coworker who had originally suggested you the app is now jealous of you (jokingly of course.)
that night another message. a plate of neon shaved ice, two spoons stuck like flags. the caption is just:
sanemi: sugar
morning comes rough and soft. you pack your lunch, and let the kettle sing. he texts between sets of whatever reunion nonsense theyâre doing.
sanemi: they made me play volleyball
you: did you win
sanemi: i broke a bracelet
you: of course u broke a bracelet. smhÂ
sanemi: stfu. but i did win. of course i did.
on thursday the sky opens for ten minutes and throws water at your windshield. you sit in your car and watch it bead, thinking of the balcony door he keeps cracking open in his photos like a habit. you type and erase, type and erase, then send something safe about protein powder flavors. he replies with something saltier about all of them tasting like drywall. your ears feel warm from how stupid you felt.Â
that night he texts again, late. the notification lights your ceiling.
sanemi: need an opinion
you: on what
sanemi: which photo looks less stupid
two images blink in. both catch him clean and careless. in the first heâs near the balcony, shirt soft and worn in, hair pushed back by a damp hand. the ocean is a smear of blue behind him and thereâs a crease at the corner of his mouth like a smile thought about showing up and changed its mind. in the second heâs by the resort walkway at golden hour. the light turns his scars to pale threads and warms his eyes to molten lavender. his jaw looks unfair. the bracelet is on his wrist. he forgot to hate it.
you stare too long and then pretend you didnât.
you: both are good but the second one is so cunty actually
sanemi: omfg. english pls
you: the light loves you. send that one
sanemi: why do i need one at all
you: because i said so
sanemi: hilarious. they want me to post shit tengen makes everyone do it. updates, proof of life, blah blah
you: okay then. second pic. caption it something minimal so they think youâre mysterious
sanemi: like what
you: âsunset is fineâ or âresort is loudâ
sanemi: that shit sounds so stupid.
you: then âhad fishâ
sanemi: ??
â
the gym smells like lemon spray and rubber again, which feels weirdly like home now. the front desk girl waves without looking up from her tablet. the music is a playlist you recognize. you step onto the mats and then he is there, like he walked out of the mirror and into your lane. he looks travel-clean. hair damp like he shoved water through it in the locker room, shirt soft and dark, the bracelet gone, a faint mark left on the skin where it had hugged. he wears the week on him in small ways you canât name until you are closer. he definitely got tanner too. sexy papa.Â
âhey,â he says, voice a little lower than usual, âyou alive.â â âbarely,â you say, smiling anyway. âhow was it?â
the corner of his mouth lifts. âloud. expensive. dumb bracelets.â
âproof of life?â you ask. he reaches into his bag and flips you a tiny cocktail umbrella, folded closed. purple. same shade as the last one. it arcs once and lands in your palm.
âi hate that i knew youâd like that,â he says. âyouâre evolving,â you say, tucking it into your phone case.
he nods at the mirror. âwarm up. show me what survived.âÂ
you stretch. shoulders, hamstrings, the long line down your calves. he watches like he always does, attention clean and exact, correcting with a tap of two fingers at your hip, a palm hovering near your shoulder blade without touching. it all feels normal and not normal at once.
âyou post the photo?â you ask, breath steadying. he huffs a laugh. âtengen posted it for me. apparently i donât move fast enough.â
âit was a good one,â you say, not looking at him, which is the same as looking at him too hard. âyou picked it,â he says, like that explains the numbers stacked under the picture you didnât let yourself count. âokay. bodyweight circuit. two rounds. slow. then we talk schedule.â
you move. the first squat feels clumsy and then your body remembers the map. planks shake the rust out. lunges mark the floor in a neat path you follow back. he counts lazy and precise.
between sets you trade small things. you tell him about the thrift jacket and the lemon ice. he tells you about his best friend obanai almost killing him with a volleyball, and a drink that tasted like melted candy. however, he admits the bracelet wasnât the worst part.
second round finishes and you sit on the mat to breathe. the gym has thinned out; the big fans overhead click like slow clocks. âyou kept up,â he says, and his mouth doesnât fight the compliment this time. âgood. weâll add weight again by the end of the week.â
âmean,â you say. âeffective,â he counters, and itâs almost a shared smile. he grabs his bag and digs out a printout. the grid is neat, days across the top, exercises down the side, notes in his blunt, impatient handwriting. âthree days on, one day off,â he says. âlight conditioning on your off day if youâre bored. donât text me at 2 a.m. to tell me youâre bored.â
âno promises,â you say, folding the paper. âcoach.â
âdonât start,â he says, but he doesnât look mad. âsame time wednesday?â
âyeah,â you say, and the word sits warm. you slide the tiny umbrella deeper into your phone case, and when you stand he is already reaching out a hand to pull you up by the wrist like this is just what he does now, and your skin goes electric at the touch you pretend is nothing while the mirrors throw you both back at you.Â
youâre still rolling the tiny purple umbrella between your fingers when he clears his throat, eyes cutting to the side like heâs aiming around you. the gymâs fans keep clicking, slow as breathing. âhey,â he says, casual like heâs testing a weight before he racks it, âthereâs a movie i wanted to see later.â a beat. âtonight.â
you blink, then try to play it cool and fail immediately. âwhich one?â he names it, the exact one youâve had shoved in your notes app for weeks. your mouth jumps before your patience does. âshut up. that one?â
his brow ticks, amused. âthat one.â heat rushes up your neck, sweet and a little dizzy. âi wanted to see it,â you say, softer than you mean to. âi just⊠didnât have anyone to go with.â
he looks at you properly then, like heâs re-measuring your stance. âyou do now.â it comes out rough, plain, not a line, just a fact he decided to put in the air.
âokay,â you say, too fast, then you try to fix your voice and it comes out breathy. âi mean, yeah. of course. letâs go.â
the corner of his mouth edges upward like heâs working against it. a light shrug, shoulders cut clean under the soft shirt. âcool.â he taps his phone against his thigh. âshowtimeâs at seven-twenty. iâll grab seats if youâre actually in.â
âiâm in,â you say, and your hands suddenly donât know where to live. you tuck hair behind your ear, then you tuck it again, then you are extremely interested in the tiny umbrella now living in your phone case. âuhâshould we meet there?â
âyeah,â he says. âtext me when youâre close. iâll be in the lobby, probably judging the popcorn.â
âyou donât like popcorn?â
âi like not getting kernels murdered between my teeth.â a ghost of a grin. âget the big one, though. iâll help.â
you nod too much. you hate that he notices and you love that he notices. the fans hum. the mirror throws you both back, a little flushed, a little off balance. he adjusts the strap on his bag and itâs nothing, itâs routine, and somehow it feels like a step.
âgo stretch your calves before you stiffen up,â he says, sliding back into trainer without losing whatever this is. âwear something you can sit in for two hours without cursing me.â
âcopy,â you say, all blush and yes. âiâll, um, see you there.â
âyeah,â he answers, eyes catching yours long enough to spark that small, charged sting under your skin. âsee you.â
â.Â
you show up early on purpose and circle the lot once to kill nerves. comfy shoes that donât pinch, soft pants that sit right on your hips, a loose tee layered under a zip hoodie that still smells like your detergent and your choice of perfume. you swipe lip balm on in the car and tell yourself not to overdo it. itâs a movie, not a wedding.
the lobby is cold in that way only theaters are, all ice air and neon. the carpet is some violent pattern that hides spills. the popcorn machine hums behind the chatter. you text him that youâre here and look up just as the doors slide open.
he walks in. black joggers that taper neat at the ankle, clean sneakers, a white and green jacket zipped halfway over a dark tee. the lights catch on the jacketâs green stripes and make his eyes look lighter, almost washed lavender. hair pushed back with water, a few pieces refusing to behave. travel is gone off him now. he looks like your city again, sharpened and steady.
âhey,â he says, voice under the lobby noise. he takes you in top to bottom like heâs memorizing a new warmup for you. the pause is brief and not brief at all. his mouth tilts. âthose pants,â he says, blunt as always, âmake your ass look good.â
your brain short circuits for a heartbeat. heat spikes up your neck. you laugh because your body needs somewhere to put it. âsanemi.â he doesnât blink. a slow half-grin, no apology in it. âwhat. you asked for honesty the first week.â his gaze drifts and returns, heavier now, but his tone stays even. âiâm being honest.â
ânoted,â you manage, smoothing a palm down the thigh that suddenly feels like it belongs to a different person. âyou look⊠handsome.â
his brow ticks like you surprised him and pleased him in the same second. he pretends to study the showtimes as if they are complex math. âfigured the jacket would keep me from freezing to death.â
âsmart,â you say, then ruin it by adding, âit looks really good on you,â and the word really sticks like caramel.
he cuts his eyes back to you and that almost-smile lives a little longer. âpopcorn?â he asks. âlarge. iâll help so you donât drown in it.â
you nod, too quick. the cashier slides a tub across, hot and absurd. you both reach at once and your fingers brush, a clean static that snaps up your arm. he pretends it didnât happen, or maybe he puts it away for later. you canât tell. you follow him toward the ticket taker, the jacket green bright in your periphery, the theater doors heavy and dark ahead, the cold air curling at your ankles like a cat getting you used to the idea of sitting close.
the auditorium is empty except for the two of you. rows of dark seats like ribs, screen washed pale with trailers. the air is cold enough to make your ankles goosebump under your sweatpants. he chooses the back middle like a little kid, drops into the seat with his knees wide and the tub of popcorn balanced between you.
the lights fall slow. you trade whispers at first, then normal voices, then laughter that doesnât have to hide because no one turns to shush you. your shoulders knock once and again. the screen throws blue and then gold across his face, catching in the pale of his eyes so they look almost silver.
âthat stunt was fake as hell,â he murmurs during a chase, and you gasp loud on purpose. âexcuse me, sir, that was art.â
âthat was wires,â he says, stealing a handful of popcorn. a kernel clings to his lip and you try not to stare. you fail. he flicks it away, eyes cutting to you. âwhat.â
ânothing,â you say, smiling into your drink. âyouâve got opinions.â
âcorrect ones.â
when the score swells, he leans forward, elbows on knees, absorbed in the movie. you see this, and giggled to yourself, something warm settle in your chest. when the comedy lands, you both giggle like youâre not supposed to, trading lines back and forth, building dumb little riffs that make the scene funnier than it is. when the quiet parts come, he sits back again and you feel the space between your thighs and his go aware. the popcorn tub becomes a negotiation. your fingers brush. once, twice. neither of you move away.
halfway through, a jump scare you absolutely saw coming still gets you. your hand shoots to his forearm before you can think, palm landing on warm muscle and the smooth line of an old scar. he turns his head, not his arm, and the look he gives you is quick and sharp. you whisper, âshut up,â before he can say anything. he huffs a soft laugh that you feel more than hear.
there are moments you forget to watch. his profile is a clean line in the light, the green on his jacket catching when the screen goes bright. he tilts the tub toward you without looking, like he already knows youâre reaching. your thigh touches his for a whole minute and neither of you mention it. your voice gets loud on a joke and he laughs harder just to make it worse. you swat his shoulder. he bumps yours back, gentle, then pretends to be fascinated by the plot again.
near the end, a scene lands that you both love for different reasons. you turn to tell him your reason and he is already turning to tell you his, and your words tangle for a second in the dark like you walked into each other in a doorway. you grin first. he grins back, small and clean, and the world on the screen blurs at the edge until the music pulls you under again.
credits start to crawl. the house lights stay low. neither of you stands right away. he taps the empty tub lightly with a knuckle, like a gavel, and says, âverdict?â
âi loved it,â you say. âeven the fake stunt.â
âespecially the fake stunt,â he corrects, eyes on you, voice warm with something that wasnât there when you walked in.Â
as you both make your way to the front he excuses himself to the bathroom and you hover by the lobby poster wall, reading taglines you already forgot. the theater is mostly empty now; the neon hums, soda fountains hiss, a carpet-stained arcade game blinks like a tired eye. you text him a stupid line about the fake stunt and pocket your phone.
a group of guys spills out of theater three, loud in the careless way. they clock you standing alone and alter course like itâs nothing. one of them grins too wide. another adjusts a cap that doesnât fit his head. the tallest leans an elbow against the poster frame near your shoulder.
âyou here by yourself?â cap asks.
you smile because thatâs what you were taught, small and neat, and keep your tone light. âwaiting on someone.â â âwe can wait with you,â the tall one says, not a question. his friends laugh like theyâve already decided this is charming.
you nod like youâre indulging a bit, eyes skimming the doors, the bathrooms, the concession counter. pulse steady, breath even. you donât want to make a scene. you donât want to be rude. you donât want to be here.
âwhatâd you see?â wide-grin asks, leaning in too close to read the title off your face.
âthe good one,â you say, joking on autopilot. it buys you a sliver of space but not enough.
âwe could show you a better one,â cap says, and his laugh is the kind that needs an audience.
âbabe,â a voice cuts in, low and near your ear, âyou ready to go?â
you donât have to turn to know itâs him. the guys do. they straighten like a teacher walked in. sanemi steps into the small circle they made around you without touching anyone, jacket still bright white and green under the neon. his eyes arenât loud. they donât need to be. he looks at you first.
âyeah,â you say, letting the relief slide into the word like a hand into a pocket. âready.â
âmy bad, man,â tall says, hands up half an inch. âdidnât know she was with you.â
ânow you do,â sanemi answers, evenly. he shifts so youâre at his side without making it obvious that he did that on purpose. the group mutters apologies that bump into each other and peel off toward the doors.
the lobby breathes again and you do too. he angles his face down, eyes skimming your expression like heâs evaluating you over something.
âyou good?â he asks, softer now. âyeah,â you say, and itâs mostly true. âthanks.â his jaw works once like heâs swallowing something sharp. âdonât thank me.â then his voice tips wry to lighten it. âcâmon. before i start a fight.â
you fall into step beside him, tiny umbrella a small weight in your phone, the arcade gameâs tired blinking chasing you both toward the night air and the parking lot glow where the world widens out again
â
a few weeks slide by like good reps. you get bolder without announcing it. leggings that hug a little closer, tops that skim your waist instead of hiding it. nothing loud. just small edits you pretend are for comfort. he never comments right away. he adjusts your stance, counts your seconds, taps two fingers at your hip to keep your line. later, when youâre wiping down a bench, he says it as you barely catch it. â--color suits you.â it lands warmer than it should.
photos trade places in your phones. you send a mirror snap before a session, he'll either heart it or leave you on read. later he replies with the gymâs empty morning in cool blue light, a stack of plates, his hand in frame like an accident. you send a coffee pic that catches your mouth at the edge. he sends his lunch with an aggressive amount of protein.
you: hows work
sanemi: its boring. i rather kms
you: rude. meet me after for not-rude food
sanemi: ohagi cart then. seven thirty
dinners start sneaking into the schedule. ohagi cart first, sweet rice and red bean pressed into neat shapes, powdered fingers and soft bites you trade without thinking. a week later itâs tacos from a truck where the lime juice runs down your wrists and he watches you laugh at yourself before handing you a napkin with the quiet he uses to rack weights. another night itâs a diner where the waitress calls you both sweetie and he pretends not to hear it while you steal his fries.
at the gym the space between you keeps learning you. when you squat, he no longer hovers at the edge of reach. he spots you close and his palm skims your ribs when you wobble and neither of you flinch. when you plank, he drops beside you and counts too slowly on purpose. you kick his ankle. he'll feign like it hurts him until you actually push him down.
plans start sounding less like errands. a night market. a bookstore with a cat that ignores both of you. a late grocery run where he carries the heavy bag without asking and you bother him about which protein drinks he liked (again). a walk after one session where you circle the block twice because neither of you says goodbye fast enough and the air feels good.
on a thursday he texts a photo of his brother pulling a deadlift in their garage, sneakers crooked, wrist wrapped, pride loud in the background you canât see. kidâs getting there. you send back a voice note cheering a soft 'go genya!!'. he writes: he said thanks and shut up and you can hear his laugh in the words.
by the time the month flips, your camera roll is a map of where youâve been together without trying to name it. bowls and tickets and streetlights on wet pavement. his jacket green and white in three different images. your hand on a paper cup with his thumb barely in frame like he forgot to get out of the way again. the texts sit under it all.
sanemi: saturday dinner. real one. sit-down. no truck
you: i have a dress that you may like
sanemi: try it
you look at your closet like it is a starting line and feel the same sweet, light dizziness you felt in a dark theater when a fake stunt made him speak and your hand found his arm.Â
â
and so saturday comes.
you text him your address and he texts back a simple got it that feels bigger than it reads. maybe you're just so nervous. hes sexy. hes hot. he flirts with you. he has the same interest as you. the afternoon stretches slow. you shower, lotion, pick a dress you havenât had an excuse to wearâsoft, easy to sit in, skims your waist, falls sweet over your hips. nothing loud. a little gloss. the good perfume, one spritz at the back of your neck because youâre not trying too hard, except you are. you layer it with a lotion on your elbow and shoulder.
you stand in your entryway pretending to look for your keys when the knock comes. two taps. your stomach drops and then lifts instantaneously.
when you open the door, he goes completely still.
he had said heâd keep it simpleâdark tee, black jeans, jacket slung over his forearm, clean sneakersâbut the look on his face knocks the breath out of you harder than any set. his eyes sweep once, slow, and catch. the quiet whistles out of him.
âdamn,â he says, honest as a slap. âthose pants are no match.â his mouth crooks, praised and a little wrecked. âyou lookââ he huffs a laugh at himself, shakes his head like words are heavy. âyeah. you look like that.â
you blush so hot your ears go fizzy. you make a sound that isnât a word and try to hide it as a laugh. âoh my god. stop,â you say, which is the worst lie youâve told today.
âwhy would i do that,â he asks, voice gone quieter. he reaches, slow enough for you to step back if you want. but you donât. his fingers find your hand, warm and sure, and he lifts it. he bends and presses his mouth to your knucklesâlight, careful, lazy. so achingly tender.
your heart bangs against your ribs hard enough to make you sway. fuck.
his eyes flick up while his mouth is still close to your skin, like he wants to check if youâre breathing. you are. barely. he straightens, still holding your hand for a beat longer than necessary, thumb brushing once at the base of your fingers in a touch so small it feels enormous.
âready?â he asks, rougher now, like that single kiss gave way to something tender and heâs pretending it didnât.Â
âyeah,â you say, except your voice comes out thinner and sweeter than usual, the kind you donât hear yourself use. you grab your keys, phone, the tiny umbrella tucked into your case flashing purple for luck. you lock the door with your free hand, and he is still there, broad in your narrow hallway, smelling clean and warm, looking at you like youâve already stepped into a different kind of night.
âelevator or stairs?â he asks, teasing light.
âwhichever gets us out there faster,â you say, and your pulse answers the question for you while he guides you toward the hall, your fingers still tingling where his mouth had been, the evening opening in front of you like a door thatâs finally, finally been unlocked
he opens the passenger door for you. the car smells faintly like clean soap and something warm you canât place. rock hums low from the radio, guitar a lazy snarl under the dashboard lights. he waits until your seatbelt clicks, then rounds to his side and slides in, palm easy on the wheel.
âtoo loud?â he asks, already dialing the volume down so the music settles into thebackground. âitâs good,â you say, looking out at the streetlights smearing the glass. âwhat is it.â â âold playlist,â he says. âstuff that didnât get annoying.â a small glance over, a quick sweep that lands and lingers. âyou look good.â
you pretend to study the passing storefronts so your mouth doesnât give you away. âyou already said.â
âwell, saying again,â he answers, softer now, like the song asked him to.
you talk about nothing and everything again. the neighborâs dog that ran into the fire hydrant. his brotherâs latest deadlift number. which leggings would look good on you. best yelp restaurant. best movie, you name it.
he turns down a side street you donât usually take. the buildings go newer, shinier, the sidewalks wider. a line of people waits outside a place with soft gold letters and a host stand that looks like a jewelry counter. your brows jump.
âweâre not going there,â you say, respectful disbelief in your voice. âthat place is booked out for the year.â
he pulls right up to the curb, puts the car in park, and cuts the engine. your eyes widen. "how in the hell did you manage to snag a spot?"--- âoh shut up,â he says, laughing, the sound low and pleased. âmy friendâs the chef.â
you turn to him too fast and then slower because youâre trying to be a person. âyou have a friend who can do this.â
âkyojuro,â he says,. âhe loves food. he got a michelin star recently.â he slides out, comes around, and opens your door again. âcome on. before he decides we didnât end up coming.â
the night air is soft on your knees as you step out. inside the restaurant, light pours like honey, quiet voices layered with the soft clink of glass. the host recognizes him and smiles like youâre expected. sanemi rests a hand at the small of your back for just a second as you follow, heat through fabric, a guide more than a claim. your heart does its stupid sprint anyway.
âreservation for shinazugawa,â he says. the words fit his mouth like a suit. the host beams and gestures you down a private room for 2. you sit. he sits. the rock from the car still ghosts your ears, and over it you can hear the quiet rush of your own pulse meeting the hum of a room that has already decided tonight is going to be good.
the host slides a door open and the city noise flattens to a soft hum behind glass. the room is small and warm, a low table washed in honey light, two settings, linen that feels like you were one of the 1%. you sit across from each other at first and then drift closer by instinct, chairs angled, knees almost friendly under the table.
thereâs a single candle that smells like rice steam and cedar. condensation pearls on a carafe of water. the menus are weighty, thick paper that makes a clean sound when you lift the corner. you lean in to share one, shoulders touching for a beat before either of you pretends to adjust.
âitâs a set,â he murmurs, chin tipping toward the page. âchef changes pieces every week.â his voice has that low glide it gets when he actually likes something.
âwhatâs calling you,â you ask, and your breath stirs the edge of the menu where his fingers rest. his hands look different here, calmer. he traces a line down the descriptions like he is already tasting them.
âthis,â he says, tapping a course that mentions smoke and stone. âand the cold to hot one.â he glances at you. âyou like citrus, right.â you nod
the server appears and disappears. warm towel, cool towel, a shy little dish of toasted sesame to crush between your fingers. you both roll the scent over your mouths and grin. when the server asks about allergies, he lets you answer first and you feel him listen.
âweâll do the tasting,â he says, after, casual like he didnât just buy you a tiny world. âand whatever pairing is not annoying.â
âtea,â you suggest. âor something floral. nothing that fights.â
âtea,â he decides, quick. his knee bumps yours under the table and neither of you move it.
you talk while the first small thing is being built somewhere out of sight. not about work. not about macros. little things. his little brother. your tiktok you sent him. the way the candle smells like your grandmotherâs kitchen when winter was loud. he watches your mouth while you speak and you pretend you donât notice because it makes your tongue clumsy.
âyou nervous,â he asks âa little,â you tell him. âbut in a good way.â
the door slides open again and the first plates arrive like punctuation. your shoulders are still angled together, the menu still open and shared beside your wrists, the candle throwing soft gold at the inside of his throat, and the night steadies itself around this small table where everything feels a little heightened and a little easy at the same time
âgo ahead,â he says, chin tipping, voice softer for the small room. you lift one of the bites with its tiny spoon and hold it up without thinking, angled toward him. the light is dim enough that the space between you feels private, face to face but blurred at the edges.
he leans in. his mouth closes around the spoon with a quiet clink, careful, the heat of his breath warming the space between your fingers and the handle. when you pull back, his breath brushes your knuckle. he swallows, eyes on yours like heâs waiting to see if youâll spook.
âgood?â you whisper.
âyeah,â he says, low. âgive me yours.â it comes out like a tease and a test. you take the second bite for yourself, citrus bright and a little smoky, and your eyes flutter without permission. his mouth tilts like he caught it. he takes the tiny spoon from your fingers then, turns the next plate, and holds one up for you the same way. you lean in because now itâs your turn.
the server slips out as quietly as they came. the candle leans, the room breathes, and the two of you sit a little closer than before, sharing plates and the small, charged hush that comes from talking softer than you need to.
another plate arrives built for fingers. neat bites lined up. you pick one up and raise a brow. âcareful,â you murmur, because it glistens. âmessy.â
âi can take it,â he says, which is not subtle, and his eyes say he knows it isnât. you feed him again. he opens for you, slow, and when he closes down this time the pad of his tongue skims the tip of your finger to catch a run of sauce. it is quick and it is not an accident. heat pricks the back of your neck.
âgood?â you ask, pretending your breath is normal.
his gaze flickers to your mouth. âyeah.â his voice roughens. âyour turn.â
he brings a bite to your lips and holds it steady, patient. you lean in, teeth catching, and the edge slips. you steady it with a hand around his wrist, and when you lick a smear of citrus from the side, your lips kiss the inside of his thumb. the touch is light, honey-sweet. his inhale stutters, barely there, but you feel it in the place where your fingers circle him.
âsorry,â you whisper, not sorry at all.
âdonât be,â he says, and bites down softly on his bottom lip like heâs keeping something inside. you watch the imprint bloom and your stomach drops a floor.
he feeds you another. you take it cleaner and still manage to chase a glossed edge with the tip of your tongue because now itâs a game. his hand doesnât move. the corner of his mouth does. youâre close enough to see the pale scar that interrupts his upper lip and the faint, unfair pink of it when he relaxes.
âyou always this neat,â he asks under his breath.
âno,â you say, and thatâs the truth. your thumb glides over a stray grain of salt at his knuckle. âyouâre making me try.â
he huffs, not a laugh, a sound lower. âkeep trying.â his fingers brush your wrist when he passes you the next piece.
a softer course lands, something youâre meant to break together. you both reach, hands overlapping, and the delicate shell snaps with a sweet crack. you look up out of reflex, and he is already looking, eyes half-lidded like heâs watching heat rise. you thumb a gloss of filling from the corner of your mouth and he tracks the motion, tongue darting out to wet his own bottom lip like his body answered a question you hadnât asked yet.
âyou missed a spot,â he says, voice thinner than before. he leans in and lifts his napkin, clean and careful, swiping the edge of your lip. he doesnât have to use his thumb after. but he does. his skin is warm, a touch that lasts exactly one heart count longer than it needs to. you catch the pad of it in a quick kiss before you can stop yourself.
he stills. then breathes out through his nose, slow, âtea?â you say, too lightly, because your pulse is loud. âbefore i start committing crimes.â
he nods for tea and the room resets, steam curling like breath. the plates get smaller, sweeter. you steal a sugared berry with your fingers and hold it out. he leans in and takes it slow, teeth grazing your skin, tongue chasing a grain of sugar.
âcareful,â you murmur. âsticky.â
âi like sticky,â he says, quiet and filthy. his eyes donât leave your mouth. you laugh to break it and donât break it at all. the server glides in and out, refilling water, whisking matcha. you trade one more bite and your lips brush the pad of his thumb again. this time he doesnât pretend itâs an accident.
âyou missed,â he says, voice almost a breath, and brings his thumb to your bottom lip to show you where. you close around it without thinking, a press, a hum, nothing polite. his breath skates across your cheekbone.
âsanemi,â you warn, but itâs not a warning and both of you know it.
he leans in like the candle pulled him. his shoulder nudges yours, his knee presses to the side of your thigh under the table. his mouth finds the shell of your ear where the perfume sits warm. âkeep doing that,â he whispers, words a scrape that sinks straight down your spine, âand iâm going to take you home and make you say please.â
your chest squeezes. your pulse trips hard enough to send a ripple through the tea. you set the cup down before you wear it. he doesnât move away. you can feel the smile in his voice when he adds, softer, âsay you understand.â
âi understand,â you breathe, throat a little raw.
he sits back like he just finished a set, satisfied. âgood,â he says, normal volume again, eyes bright. âfinish your tea.â
and you do
you drain the last of the tea because he told you to. the server ghosts in with a leather folder, and heâs already tucking his card inside before you can reach. you stand; the room tilts a degree warmer; the candle breath lingers on your clothes.
the sliding door opens to a corridor hushed and plush underfoot. the city sits outside the glass like a quiet aquarium. youâre aware of everything at onceâyour palms a little damp, the soft cling of your dress at the back of your knees, the thrum low in your belly that makes you feel both light and clumsy. he walks half a step closer than necessary, hand on the small of your back.
turning the corner, you almost run into himâbright hair, broad grin, warmth that arrives before the man does. âsanemi!â kyojuro booms, voice a sunburst. his presence fills the hall like incense.
sanemiâs mouth tilts. âoi. working, are you?â kyojuroâs eyes sweep once, landing on you with instant curiosity and something gentler under it. before he can aim a question, sanemi says it clean, no hesitation: âthis is my date.â
you feel the word land in your body like a stone dropped into waterâshock, rings, a settling you didnât realize you were waiting for. kyojuro goes stunned-bright, then delighted. he claps sanemi on the back hard enough to make the jacket shift. âexcellent! proud of you!â itâs too loud. he turns to you, softer. âweâll take good care of you any time youâre here.â
heat climbs your throat; you smile because anything else would fall apart. âthank you,â you manage. âback to the fires!â kyojuro announces, already backing toward the kitchen door like he's guy fieri. he throws you both one more beam of approval and vanishes in a wash of light and stainless noise.
the hall goes quiet again. your pulse does not. sanemi angles closer, hand hovering at the small of your back once more before settling there for one steady second, warm through the fabric. âcâmon,â he says, low, guiding you toward the lobby. the carpetâs nap strokes your ankles, the perfume of cedar and char trails after you, the city hums louder the nearer you get to the door. you are acutely aware of your breathing, of the way your thighs brush when you walk, of the tiny tremor hiding in your fingers when you hook them into his elbow for balance you donât actually need. he glances down at thatâat youâand something satisfied sparks in his eyes like heâs reading every line your body is writing.
the host nods you past with a knowing smile. outside the glass the night is slick and soft, all reflections and tail lights, the kind of air that cools your skin and does nothing for the heat underneath. he holds the door; the city exhales on your face; your heartbeat answers it, quick and useless and wanting
the sidewalk is washed in soft gold. families drift past with paper bags and strollers, couples fold into each other, the whole street humming like a warm hive. you and him walk close, your reflections trailing in the restaurant windows. the night air cools your cheeks and does nothing for the heat in your chest. you can feel your pulse in your wrists, in your mouth, in the place where his hand might land if he reached.
his car waits under a halo of a streetlamp. he opens the passenger door and the dome light blooms pale. you move to sit, then his fingers catch lightly at your wrist and guide you back up. a small tug, steady and sure. time slips thin for a second.
âhey,â he says, quietly. his eyes search your face and then soften into a decision. you feel it before it happens.
he leans in and kisses you.
it is careful and deepening at the edges. his mouth is warm and sure, tasting faintly of tea and sugar, the breath between you sweet and steady. your hands find his jacket without thinking. his free hand slides to your waist, a fit like it was always supposed to be there, fingers spanning the fabric, holding and not holding at once.
your heart goes wild. a quick patter against his chest when you lean closer, the drum of it echoing in your throat. you feel his answer, the rhythm under your palms, steadier but no less loud. the street keeps moving around you and somehow it all dims to the circle of light and the scent of cologne and your perfume waking up on your skin.
he breaks just enough to breathe, lips still close to yours, smile pressed small and crooked. âbeen wanting to do that all night,â he admits, almost a whisper. âme too,â you say, and it sounds like a promise.
he kisses you again, softer. when he draws back this time, his forehead rests against yours for a beat. you can feel the hitch of his breath and the tiny laugh caught in it like you surprised him with your yes.
âget in,â he murmurs, voice low, thumb tracing a slow line at your waist that makes your knees feel jelly. âbefore i keep you standing here and the families call security.â
you slide into the seat with your pulse still bright in your ears. he closes the door gently, the glass catching a last look at his mouth as he rounds the hood. when he settles behind the wheel, you both sit in the soft quiet for a half second, smiling.
streetlight maps flicker across the windshield as he pulls away from the curb. the radio murmurs low. your mouth still tastes like him and sugar. he drives one-handed for a block, the other resting easy on the console like itâs waiting.
âwhat do you want to do,â he asks, not casual exactly, more like heâs lining up a lift and wants your count. his eyes stay on the road. you can feel him listening.
you breathe out a laugh that shakes a little. âwe could go to yours,â you say, brave before you can talk yourself out of it. âor mine.â a beat. âiâm good with either.â
his mouth tips, pleased and a little undone. âiâd love to.â then, like he is choosing the simplest path, âcome to mine.â
the light turns green. his hand leaves the console and lands on your thigh, warm through the dress, fingers spreading like he is checking form. he doesnât look away from the road when he says it. âpretty sure iâve hinted it already,â his thumb tracing a small arc that makes your breath catch, âbut iâm into you.â
your pulse goes bright. âyeah?â it comes out softer than you planned.
âyeah.â his grip is gentle, sure. âbeen into you since you told me that stunt was art.â a quick grin. âand since before that.â
you lay your hand over his, press him closer. the city slides by in little squares of light. your knee leans into his fingers. his thumb keeps that steady, absentminded stroke like heâs memorizing you for later.
â
he pulls into a marked spot like heâs done it a thousand times, kills the engine, and your breath has nowhere to hide. outside, the lot is quiet, lights turning the pavement soft gold. he gets out first and is already opening the passenger door by the time you reach for the handle. that little care undoes you more than the kiss did.
his hand finds yours for the walk in. the building smells faintly like laundry and rain. the elevator hums. your fingers stay laced until he needs them to punch his floor and then he takes them back like he didnât want to let go. at his door he keys in, shoulder easy, and the lock clicks. the place opens warm. a candle that smells like cedar and soap, a couch that has clearly held him after long days, a tidy stack of weights near a bookshelf like he canât help himself. framed photos on a low console: his brother grinning with a crooked barbell, a group shot of loud men at a beach, one older photo of a woman smiling with her hand on his shoulder. throw pillows in a polite pattern. a small fern that is thriving against all odds.
âitâs nice,â you say, stepping out of your shoes at the entry. the rug is soft. your toes thank you.
he toes his sneakers off beside yours, shrugs out of his jacket, and drapes it over a chair. thereâs a tiny pink floral embroidery on one of the pillows that gives the game away and you bite a grin.
âyour mom helped,â you tease, soft so it lands kind.
he snorts, caught. âyeah yeah. i told her it sucked and kept it anyway.â a hand to the back of his neck, sheepish in a way you donât get to see at the gym. âshe brought a box and messed with it till it looks like this. i went out when she did it.â
âshe did good,â you say, running a finger over the neat stitch on the pillow. âdonât tell her i said that. sheâll get ideas.â
âtoo late,â he says, but heâs smiling. âwater? tea? something cold?â
âwaterâs good,â you say, taking in the tiny details while he moves in the kitchen. the quiet hum of the fridge. the way he opens cabinets without looking. the soft slide of a drawer. your heart finally starts to slow and then spikes again when he comes back, two glasses in one hand, the other landing with easy familiarity at the small of your back as he guides you toward the couch.
you sip water because your mouth forgot how to be normal. he tips his glass toward yours in a quiet clink and settles deeper, arm along the back of the couch, wrist a breath from your shoulder.
âso⊠kyojuro,â you start, curiosity finally catching up. âwhatâs his deal besides being the human version of a sunrise.â
sanemi huffs, fond despite himself. âchildhood friend. comes from money. loud as hell. half deaf from being an idiot around fireworks as a kid.â his mouth kicks up. âchef now. real good.â
âthat tracks,â you say, smiling into the rim of your glass. âhe looked proud.â
âhe was prouder of the food,â sanemi mutters, then relents with a shrug. âyeah. heâs⊠good people.â
you ask little things and he indulges you, the rough edges of his voice going rounded while he talks: summer bikes, scraped knees, stealing fruit from a neighborâs tree, getting caught, getting fed anyway. you listen, turned toward him without noticing, knee drawing up onto the cushion, dress slipping warm over your thigh. somewhere in the middle of a story about a busted car stereo and a beach, you realize youâve both drifted closer, easy as breathing.
when the story runs out, the silence that lands isnât empty. his arm is still along the couch back, hand near your shoulder. your knee touches his. itâs a soft, steady contact that feels like a question mostly answered.
you glance at his mouth. he sees it. the corner of his lip pulls slow, pleased, dangerous. he leans in a fraction, breath skimming your cheek. âwhat game are we playing?â he asks, low, amused, like he already knows and wants you to say it anyway.
your heart jumps. âiââ you whisper. he closes the last inch and kisses you, unhurried but sure, mouth fitting yours like it remembered how from the car and wanted more. his hand slides from the couch to cradle the side of your neck, thumb a slow stroke under your jaw that asks and answers at the same time. you make a sound you didnât plan. he swallows.
when he breaks for breath, he stays close, forehead tipping to yours. âagain?â he murmurs, like heâs checking your form and your pulse at once. âagain,â you breathe.
his thumb still strokes under your jaw when he pulls back from your mouth, just enough to look at you. the lamp light catches his eyes in that way that always makes you forget to breathe. heâs close enough that you can taste his words when he says them.
âyou know how hard it was not to drag you out of that restaurant,â he mutters, like a confession slipped raw. âthat dressââ his eyes travel down and back up slow, purposeful, ââwas unfair. had me chewinâ my cheek just to keep my hands still.â
you start to laugh, nervous, but he tilts your chin higher and his smile cuts sharp. âdonât laugh. i mean it. you walked in looking like you knew iâd lose my head over you.â
your skin heats all the way down your throat. âi didnâtââ
âyeah, you did,â he interrupts softly, but thereâs no sting in it. âand you were right.â he kisses you again, quick, then pulls back before you can chase him. âyouâre driving me crazy.â
his hand leaves your jaw, drifts down the line of your throat, and rests heavy but careful over your sternum, right where your heart drums. âhear that? i put that there. thatâs mine tonight.â
he pauses then, eyes flicking back up to yours, serious under all the roughness. âcan i say what i want? call you what i want? iâll stop if you donât like it.â
your breath catches. âyes,â you whisper, shaky but sure. âi want you to.â
the crooked grin that breaks over his mouth looks half-wild, half-relieved. he leans in close again, his voice right at your ear, low and burning. âgood girl.â
your whole body goes taut, your fingers fisting in his shirt before you can think better of it.
he feels it. he hears it. his laugh is a rumble against your jaw, not mocking, just thrilled. âyeah. that. i could get drunk off that sound.â
he kisses the side of your throat, not biting, just pressing his mouth there, marking his spot. âyou make me want to ruin every other dress you own,â he mumbles, his restraint clear in how slowly his hands are moving, every touch placed, nothing rushed.
his mouth lingers at your throat, lips brushing your pulse like heâs testing how fast it can go. you tip your head back, helpless, and thatâs when his hands shiftâone firm at your hip, the other sliding beneath your knees.
âup,â he says, almost a growl, and before you can answer heâs lifting you. itâs so easy for him it makes your chest cave in. your gasp breaks against his shoulder as your arms instinctively loop around his neck.
âyou weigh nothing,â he mutters into your hair, like heâs scolding you and worshipping you in the same breath. âyou think i donât notice how light you are in my arms? i could carry you like this all night.â
you press your face against his collarbone, dizzy from the steadiness of his stride as he walks you down the short hall. the world tilts with the sway of each step, your heart hammering in sync with his.
he nudges his bedroom door open with his foot, the faint smell of a masculine lotion trailing in. the bed is wide, sheets dark and smoothed, a single pillow crooked from earlier. he lowers you onto it with deliberate care, like setting something precious down.
but he doesnât climb on top of you yet. he stays standing, fingers hooked at his waistband, eyes roaming every inch of you laid out in the dress heâs been thinking about since dinner. the look on his face is more sinful than hungryâthough the hunger is there, tight at the corners of his mouth.
âyou donât even know,â he says, voice low, roughened. âyou donât know what you did to me in that dress. had me bitinâ my tongue all night just so i wouldnât embarrass myself.â
his hand drags over his jaw, frustrated and awed at once. then he catches your gaze again, sharp and direct. âsay it back,â he tells you, softer now. âtell me you knew what you were doing.â
your lips part, breath shaky. âi⊠mightâve known,â you admit.
he exhales like that was the only answer he wanted. then finally, finally, he lowers onto the bed, bracing on one arm beside your head, the other hand cupping your cheek. âgood girl,â he whispers again, kissing you slow, the praise heavy and molten between every press of his mouth.
he props himself above you, thumb dragging slow over the neckline, tugging the fabric just enough to make you feel the stretch. his eyes burn over every inch the dress clings to.
âyou know whatâs killing me?â he rasps, nose brushing your temple as his voice drops into your skin. âthisââ his fingers pinch a fold at your shoulder strap, ââthis damn dress. the way it hugs you. the way you sat across from me in that little booth like you didnât notice me staring at every inch of you.â
your breath stutters when he trails his hand lower, palm flattening over your waist. âyou wore it knowing iâd lose it, didnât you,â he pushes, mouth brushing the corner of your lips.
you shake your head, trying for denial, but it comes out weak. âi didnâtââ
âliar,â he murmurs, grinning against your mouth, hungry but patient. âdonât care. i love it. love the way you look in it. love the way you make me want to tear it off.â
his hands shift lower, tugging at the hem. you catch his wrists, trying to slow him, breathless. âsanemiââ
he freezes for a beat, watching your face, eyes sharp. âyou fighting me?â he asks, and the grin that spreads is sharp-edged, full of thrill. âyou think thatâs gonna stop me?â
you try to hold your ground, pushing lightly at his forearms. he doesnât push harderâhe waits, shoulders taut, eyes fixed on yours.
âevery time you push back,â he growls, voice shaking with control, âyou just make me want you more.â
his mouth crashes back onto yours, kiss deeper now, almost ragged. your grip on his arms falters, melts, and he uses the chance to work the dress higher, inch by inch, whispering between kisses: âso beautiful. every damn part of you. iâll say it a hundred times if i have to.â
the fabric slides, slow, over your hips, your ribs, your shouldersâeach inch leaving you more undone. he pulls back just enough to watch, lavender eyes molten as the straps slip down your arms.
âthatâs it,â he murmurs, low and wrecked. âlet me see you..â
he finally dips lower, tongue dragging a deliberate stripe just shy of your center, and your whole body jolts. he laughs under his breath, the sound low and smug against your skin. âfuck, youâre jumpy,â he mutters, kissing the spot he just teased. âgonna make a mess on my face before iâve even started.â
his thumbs press deeper into your hips, steadying you as he shifts closer, broad shoulders clasped against your thighs until you canât close them even if you wanted to. he licks you slow, one long stroke that makes your head tip back, and then he does it again, firmer, savoring the way you gasp for him.
âsweet,â he groans, voice breaking against you. âtastes even better than i thought you would.â
your hand knots in his hair, tugging without meaning to, and instead of pulling back he moans into you, the vibration running straight through your belly. the sound tears a helpless whimper from you and he grins, feral and pleased.
âthatâs it,â he says, nose bumping your clit as he speaks, hot breath spilling over you. âkeep talkinâ to me like that. let me hear every fuckinâ sound.â
his mouth closes around your clit in a sudden, wet pull, and your hips buck before you can stop them. he pins you down with a growl, one hand leaving your hip just long enough to slide under, dragging you closer to his mouth like he canât get enough. his tongue circles tight and fast, then slows, then speeds again, unpredictable and devastating.
youâre babbling his name now, thighs trembling against his jaw, but he just eats it up, literally, groaning like your arousal is feeding him. âyeah, pretty,â he praises, voice ragged, tongue pressing harder. âso fuckinâ good for me. donât stopâgive me all of it.â
your back arches off the seat, body strung taut as the tension spirals higher and higher, and he doesnât let up. doesnât give you an inch. his mouth is locked on you, relentless, until youâre shaking, crying out brokenly, and the orgasm rips through you so hard it leaves you clinging to his hair, thighs closing around his ears.
he stays with you, licking you through it, groaning at every shudder like itâs his own pleasure. when you finally sag back, gasping, he pulls away just enough to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, grinning up at you with wild, hazy eyes.
âfuck,â he says, voice rough, lips shining. âlook at you. prettiest fuckinâ thing iâve ever seen.â
he drags his mouth higher, leaving hot, messy kisses up your belly, over the fabric of your dress still bunched at your waist. his hand stays between your legs, two fingers stroking lazy, steady circles through your slick folds until your hips are jerking against his palm. âyouâre fuckinâ soaked,â he mutters against your ribs, tongue flicking over your skin before he bites. âall that just from my mouth? youâve been dying for me to ruin you, huh.â
you whimper, the sound spilling out before you can stop it, and his grin sharpens against your skin. he slides a finger inside you, slow but unrelenting, watching your face as you clutch at his shoulders.
âhear that?â he asks, voice low, ear tilted toward the obscene sound of your body taking him in. âtight little cunt begging for more.â another finger joins the first and you gasp, back arching. he kisses your sternum, then your collarbone, dragging his teeth along the line.
âsanemiââ his name cracks on your tongue, and he laughs, curling his fingers until youâre clenching down so hard your thighs tremble.
âsay it again,â he orders, fucking you slow with his hand. âsay my fuckinâ name when you fall apart.â you moan it for him, shameless now, hips grinding into his hand as his mouth climbs higher, finally catching yours in a kiss thatâs all teeth and heat, nothing sweet about it.
he breaks it only to murmur against your lips, rough and sure, âi like things rough. iâm gonna fuck you till your legs give out. you think you can handle that?â your whole body shudders, and the yes that comes out is a breathless moan, your walls clenching tight around his fingers.
âgood girl,â he growls. his mouth is still on yours, hot and hungry, when he pulls back just enough to mutter, âbeen watchinâ you at the gym, yâknow. all that work youâve been puttinâ in.â his fingers never stop moving inside you, dragging slick and tight, thumb teasing over your clit until youâre whimpering against him. âfuckinâ proud of you. strong, pretty thing⊠look at you now.â
he shifts back, yanks his shirt over his head in one rough motion, tossing it aside. your eyes canât help but roam â broad shoulders, scars cutting across muscle, chest rising hard and fast with every breath. he smirks when he sees the way youâre staring, veins standing out down his arms as he hooks his thumb into the waistband of his joggers.
âcâmon,â he says, voice rough, dragging the fabric down just enough to free his cock. thick, flushed, already heavy in his hand. he strokes once, lazy, then grabs your wrist and brings your palm to him. âyou worked for this too. go on. feel how bad you got me.â
your fingers curl instinctively, wrapping around him, and the hiss that leaves his throat is filthy. you stroke him, slow, testing, and your lips part as the reality of his size sets in.
âsanemi⊠youâre huge,â you breathe, awe and heat tangled in your voice. âi didnât thinkââ he cuts you off with a sharp grin, hand covering yours, guiding your strokes tighter, faster. âyeah? well, itâs all yours. every fuckinâ inch.â his forehead tips to yours, his voice dropping lower, rougher. âuse it how you like. iâll give it to you however you want it.â
your thumb swipes over the leaking tip and he groans, hips twitching against your grip, eyes fluttering closed. âfuckâjust like that. strong hands. knew youâd look good strokinâ me off.â
the way he praises you â raw, unfiltered â makes your belly clench, heat pooling low and heavy, the thought of what comes next making you wetter around nothing. your hand works him slow at first, testing his weight, then faster when his hips twitch and his breath turns ragged. his cock is hot and heavy in your palm, veins thick under your grip, precum already slicking your fingers. every time your thumb circles the head he groans low, the sound punching out of him like he couldnât hold it in if he tried.
âfuck, youâre good at that,â he pants, head tipping back, jaw tight. âlook at youâmy strong little slut jerkinâ me off like you own it.â
the praise makes your thighs clench, and before you even realize it, youâre leaning down, lips parting, the taste of salt and heat already on your tongue. you press a messy kiss to the tip, licking the bead of precum from him, and his whole body jolts.
âshit,â he groans, fist clenching in the fabric bunched at your waist. âyou tryna kill me? fuckinâ knew youâd be filthy for me.â
you take him in deeper, your spit mixing with the slick already there, and the wet sounds echo loud in the room. his hand fists in your hair, just holding, eyes glued to the way your lips stretch around him.
you gag once when he hits the back of your throat, and the noise makes his hips buck. âyeah, thatâs it. fuckâmessy little thing, droolinâ all over me. look so good with my cock down your throat.â
spit dribbles down your chin, coating your hand as you stroke what you canât fit, pumping him in time with the way you swallow around him. the gurgling sounds fill the air, obscene, and heâs watching every second, chest heaving, abs tight.
âgood slut,â he rasps, hips rolling shallow into your mouth. âmakinâ me lose my fuckinâ mind. keep goinâ, pretty. donât stop.â
his thighs tense under your hands, his whole body writhing with every wet glide of your mouth. eyes watering, spit stringing from your lips when you pull back to breathe. he groans at the sight, yanking you back down, voice breaking.
âfuckâlook at this mess youâre makinâ.â
his grip tightens in your hair, knuckles white, eyes blown wide as he stares down at you. his voice comes out shredded, almost a plea.
âcan iââ his chest heaves, words catching on a groan, ââcan i fuck your throat?â
your stomach flips, heat crawling up your spine, and you nod fast, saliva still dripping down your chin. your voice is a whisper against the wet head of his cock. âyes. fuckâyes, sanemi. do it.â
his jaw locks, pupils blown, like heâs barely hanging on. âgood girl,â he rasps, thumb stroking over your cheek before he angles your face up. âopen wide for me.â
you do, lips stretched, tongue out, thankful to the gods your uvula was removed years ago because the second he pushes forward, thick and heavy, he sinks all the way in. thereâs no gag, just the stretch, the slick slide, and the obscene sound of him burying himself in your throat.
he groans like itâs breaking him, head thrown back, every muscle in his chest and stomach tightening. âfuckâholy shit. youâre takinâ me so deep. throatâs squeezinâ me like you were made for it.â
his hips start moving, shallow at first, then harder, fucking your mouth with sharp, desperate thrusts. each time his cock drags out and pushes back in, your spit strings and gurgles, loud and messy, coating your chin and soaking down his length.
your hands clutch at his thighs, nails digging into hard muscle, and the sight of youâtearstreaked, spit-drunk, lips swollen around himâmakes his moans unravel into broken curses. âfuck, fuck, fuckâyou look so good like this. my filthy little slut lettinâ me use your throat. jesus, iâmââ
he grips your hair tighter, controlling the pace, hips snapping as his cock slides in and out of the wet heat of your throat, slick and obscene. you moan around him, vibrations making his knees almost buckle.
âshit, keep doinâ that,â he groans, hips stuttering, eyes rolling back. âyouâre gonna make me lose itâfuckâyouâre perfect, takinâ me all the way down like that.â
your throat spasms around him, swallowing him deeper, and he lets out a guttural moan, hips jerking uncontrollably now, completely unraveling in your mouth.
his moans break ragged as his hips snap one last time, cock buried deep in your throat. hot ropes of cum spill straight down and you swallow fast, messy, grateful you can take it all. he groans at the sight of your throat working for him, curses spilling through clenched teeth, âfuckâswallow itâgood girl, take all of it.â
when he finally pulls out, a string of spit and cum stretches from your lips to the flushed head before breaking. you gulp down the last of him and lick your swollen lips, eyes glassy. he stares like youâve wrecked him, chest heaving, before heâs grabbing you under the arms and hauling you up against his body.
âgood fuckinâ girl,â he pants, voice rough with awe. âjesusâyouâre perfect.â
you barely have time to catch your breath before heâs lifting you clean off your knees, carrying you like you weigh nothing yet again. his eyes spot the bed and drops down into it with you straddling him, still dizzy from the way he used your throat.
your thighs spread over his, your body pressed tight to his scarred chest. his cock, still wet and heavy, slips right between your slick thighs as you settle down. the head drags against your folds and both of you groan at the same time, the sound filthy, needy.
you grind down instinctively, the length of him sliding along your soaked slit, catching at your clit each pass. his big hands clamp to your ass, guiding you back and forth, groaning every time the tip nudges higher.
âthatâs it,â he mutters, forehead pressed to yours, eyes wild and hazy. âfuckinâ knew youâd ride me like this. so wetâalready makinâ a mess on my cock.â
you whimper, rocking faster, smearing your slick all over him, thighs trembling as he praises you with every breath.
âlook at you,â he groans, kissing your jaw, your cheek, your ear, filthy and sweet all at once. âso pretty sittinâ on me. good girlâmy good girlâgonna let me fuck you stupid next, huh?â
his cock keeps slipping and sliding between your thighs, soaking in your heat, teasing your entrance with every pass until youâre clinging to him, flushed and whining into his shoulder while he murmurs every filthy piece of praise he can think of.
âstrong. gorgeous. filthy. â he rocks you harder, voice breaking. âuse me. ruin me. take every fuckinâ inch when youâre ready.â
you shift your hips just right, and the next slide of his cock isnât between your thighs but pushing inside you, stretching you open until you can barely breathe. the sound that rips from your throat is half a moan, half a sob, nails clawing at his shoulders as you sink all the way down.
âfuck,â he groans, head falling back, jaw locked tight. âtight as hellâfuckinâ knew youâd feel like this.â
the stretch has your legs shaking, your body trembling, but the second you adjust, youâre moving, bouncing on his cock fast and sloppy, desperate to chase the ache blooming low in your stomach.
âwhoa, whoaââ his hands shoot to your hips, gripping bruises into your skin. âslow the fuck down, sweetheartâyouâre gonna make me cum in thirty seconds.â
but you canât stop, thighs burning as you ride him hard, babbling nonsense into his chest. âs-so bigâsanemiâitâs too muchâitâs too muchâoh my godââ
your voice cracks into broken little sobs, but your body wonât let up, clenching around him, pulling him deeper with every drop of your hips. your head tips back, mouth open and eyes glassy, tears pricking at the corners from the sheer overwhelming stretch.
âshhh,â he rasps, wrapping an arm tight around your waist, pinning you down so he can slow the pace. his thrusts turn harsh, deep, dragging every inch of him inside you slow enough youâre crying with the pressure. âthere you go. breathe, baby. let me fuckinâ take care of you.â
he kisses your wet cheek, even as his hips roll up into you with punishing depth. âi know itâs a lot. know youâre stuffed full. look at youâbabblinâ like a fucked-out mess already.â
your nails dig into his chest, your voice a wrecked whine against his ear. âsa..nemiâtoo muchâi canâtââ
his growl vibrates against your throat as he sucks a bruise there. âyes you can. youâre takinâ it. takinâ all of me like a good slut. fuckinâ perfect on my cock. cry for me, babyâlemme see how pretty you look when you break.â
his grip on your hips tightens suddenly, and before you can blink heâs got you lifted, flipped, and pinned flat to the pillow below. your back hits the sheets, warm from his body; he stays between your thighs, cock still buried to the hilt, never letting you go. the change in angle has you gasping, legs already trembling.
âmine,â he growls, voice low and hoarse against your ear. âiâm the only man youâll ever remember beinâ with after iâm done with you.â
he drags your ankles up, sets them high on his shoulders, palms sliding down your calves as he folds you in half beneath him. the stretch makes you whimper, nails raking his arms, but he just shushes you with a rough kiss, tongue sliding against yours as he rolls his hips slow once, then again, deep enough to make you see stars.
âfuck.â he mutters softly, eyes dark as his free hand slides from your knee up over your belly, between your breasts, until it finds your throat. his fingers curl there, not squeezing, just holding, thumb stroking the hollow as if to remind you heâs in control, youâre safe. âright here. iâve got you.â
then he starts to move, hard and steady, each thrust deeper, driving you into the sheets beneath until youâre clawing at it. the new angle hits that spot over and over, your body jerking with each stroke, tears spilling from the corners of your eyes.
âthatâs it,â he murmurs, watching your face, thumb still on your throat. âtake it. let me fuck you the way youâve been begginâ for. gonna push you past it. gonna make you come again and again âtil you forget your own name.â
your moans turn to broken little cries, your body arching off the bed, clenching around him so hard it makes him snarl. he keeps going, sweat dripping down his temples, eyes locked on yours as your legs tremble against his shoulders.
âlook at you,â he grits out, thrusting harder. âshakinâ⊠still takinâ me. such a good fuckinâ girl. you like this? like me stretchinâ you open, stuffinâ you full?â
you nod, words lost, only a wrecked whimper spilling out. his hand squeezes your throat just enough to make you gasp, thumb tilting your chin so youâre forced to look at him.
âsay it,â he demands, hips snapping. âtell me you like it. tell me youâre mine.â
the world goes white at the edges, the deep drag of his cock and the weight of his hand on your throat tipping you into another wave, pleasure so sharp itâs almost pain. he groans, hips grinding deep as your walls flutter around him, and his voice drops to a rough whisper, âgood girl⊠come for me again. iâve got you. right here.â
he pulls out with a sharp groan, fisting his cock tight and stroking fast until hot ropes spill across your stomach, sticky warmth marking you as his. his chest heaves, muscles trembling as he jerks the last drops out, groaning at the sight of your skin painted with him.
youâre shaking beneath him, eyes glassy, sounds breaking out of you without form. âit feels so good,â you babble, voice torn between moans and whimpers, thighs trembling around nothing. âoh my godâânemiâit feels so fucking good.â
his expression softens for a blink, pride cutting through the rough haze. he cups your cheek with one messy hand, leaning down to kiss your temple. âmy beautiful princess,â he murmurs against your skin, his voice ragged but full of awe. âtook me so well. so fuckinâwell.â
but heâs not done. before you can catch your breath, he flips you over, pressing you down into the softness of the covers. your ass is lifted in an instant, his hands firm on your hips as he lines himself up again.
ânot finished with you yet,â he growls, dragging the head of his cock through your slick folds before pushing back inside in one deep, ruthless thrust.
you cry out, body arching, already too sensitive, clenching around him so hard he snarls. his hand tangles in your hair, yanking gently but firmly, pulling your head back until your eyes meet his upside-down.
âlook at me,â he orders, voice low and dangerous, hips snapping against you with obscene force. âkeep your eyes on me while i fuck you.â
your back bows, every thrust sending shockwaves through your overstimmed body. your arms shake where they brace against the headboard, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as his cock drives deep, relentless.
âgood girl,â he pants, yanking your hair a little tighter, curving your spine just the way he wants. âthatâs it, princessâlet me see your pretty face while i ruin you again.â
the slapping rhythm of his hips against your ass fills the room, his grunts hot in your ear each time he leans closer, every thrust dragging you higher into the haze.
âyou feel that?â he growls, his hand sliding from your hair to the base of your throat, holding you upright while he pounds into you. âyouâre mine. every inch of this perfect bodyâmine.â
your voice breaks, pleading and moaning his name, but he only fucks you harder, lips curling into a feral grin as you fall apart for him all over again. your voice is wrecked, breaking on his name with every thrust. âsâsanemiâoh godââ itâs all you can get out, the sound high and desperate, and it makes his hips stutter, his grip tighten on your hair.
âfuckââ his voice is ragged, torn from his chest. âwhere do you want it, huh? tell me where you want me to cum.â
you try, you really do, but your brainâs gone static, your body trembling too hard around him. the words wonât come, only a whimper, a moan that melts into his name again.
his jaw clenches, eyes squeezing shut as his pace falters, hips grinding deep as he loses it. âshitâtoo lateââ
with a guttural groan, he buries himself to the hilt and cums inside you, hot and thick, filling you until it spills over, his forehead pressed against yours as his body shudders through it.
he doesnât move right away, just breathes hard, chest heaving against your back, then eases you down, soft now, protective. his hands find your face, tilting you toward him, his lips capturing yours in a messy, desperate kiss.
you kiss him back, clinging, tasting the salt of his sweat and the faint copper of his bitten lip, the world still buzzing around you.
âmy girl,â he pants against your mouth, kissing you again, slower this time. âperfect. youâre fuckinâ perfect.â
his thrusts slow, tapering off until heâs just holding you, kissing you like he canât quite let go. when he finally eases out, his spend slips warm between your thighs, and he presses a palm to your lower belly like heâs grounding you.
youâre trembling under him, voice thin and wrecked when you whisper, âsanemiâŠâ
he kisses your forehead, softer than you thought he was capable of, and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. âeasy,â he murmurs, thumb stroking your cheek. âyou did so fuckinâ good for me.â
he sits back, still breathing hard, watching you struggle to settle. the rough edge in his expression fades, something gentler cutting through as he cups your jaw. âhow about a bath, huh? hot waterâll help your muscles. and iâm not leavinâ you a mess like this.â
your lashes flutter, exhaustion tugging at you, and you manage a small, broken smile. âyes, please,â you breathe, weak and sweet, like you can barely get the words out.
his chest tightens at the sound, and his grin softens into something real. âthatâs my girl,â he says, kissing your temple again.
he scoops you up easily, one arm under your knees, the other around your back, carrying you bridal-style toward the bathroom. youâre limp against him, cheek pressed to his chest, and heâs careful with every step, lowering you like youâre made of glass.
when he sets you down on the edge of the tub, he smilesâno smirk, no wicked edge, just kind, open pride. âiâll run it warm.â
he kneels in front of the tub, one hand on the tap, the other slipping right back between your thighs like he never left. the water starts to run, steam curling up, but your attentionâs already snagged on the way his fingers slide into you, slow and deep, pushing past the mess he left inside.
you whimper, knees parting wider on instinct, and he groans low in his chest. âfuckâlook at that. still so wet for me. still takinâ me so good.â his eyes flick up to your face, watching your mouth fall open, the little tremble of your lashes.
âsanemi,â you breathe, giggling through a moan, your body jerking when his thumb brushes your clit. âyouâre supposed to be running the bath.â
âi am,â he argues, though his voice is wrecked, rough around the edges. he curls his fingers just right and your laugh catches into a gasp. âiâm multitasking.â
you slap weakly at his shoulder, dissolving into another moan when he pushes deeper. âyouâre unbelievable.â
he leans in and kisses your thigh, his stubble scratching warmly against your skin. âyeah, well, i canât keep my fuckinâ hands off you.â his mouth presses higher, lips catching at the sensitive skin near your hip. âsorry, princess. youâre just too good. i lose my head every time i touch you.â
your giggles melt into whines, your hips grinding helplessly against his hand. âgodânemiââ
âthatâs it,â he praises, curling his fingers faster, his breath hot against your skin. âpretty little thingâstill flutterinâ around me. canât stop even if i tried.â
he kisses your stomach as his pace quickens, eyes heavy with hunger and devotion both. âlet me hear you, baby.â
the bath keeps filling, water sloshing, but all you can hear is his voice, his praise, the wet sound of his fingers working you open again.
18+ SMUT!
personal trainer!sanemi shinazugawa x reader - ao3
synopsis: sanemiâs workout plan? stretches, strength training, and fucking you until you forget how to stand (w.c: 18k)
tags: filthy smut, slow burn porn w/ plot, praise kink, degradation kink, overstimulation, throat fucking, handjob, messy blowjob, spit play, missionary, doggy style, hair pulling, light choking, cum on stomach, creampie, bath play, size kink?, um crying from pleasure, princess kink, praise + roughness, possessive sanemi, overstimmed reader, gentle aftercare
notes: ok well this is my first sanemi fic but i wanted him carnal asf. im sorry yall. i tried my bestest. feel free to hit me if i got his char wrong
the app was supposed to be easy. click a few buttons, fill out your goals, choose your trainer preferences. your coworker swore by itâsaid she got paired with a girl who matched her body type and pushed her just enough. it sounded perfect for you. you didnât want to get shredded, just toned, feel stronger in your own skin.
the profile you matched with had said female, background in yoga and light strength. exactly what you thought you needed.
except when you show up at the gym, duffel bag clutched in one hand, scanning the rows of treadmills and squat racks, it isnât a yoga girl who walks toward you.
itâs himâ well like itâs a him..
white hair, sharp and a little wild, pale scarred skin. his arms look like they could snap barbells for fun. ripped doesnât even begin to cover itâheâs built like a wall, 5â10, shoulders broad enough to make you feel small just standing there. and those pale purple eyes lock onto yours in a way that feels⊠dangerous. good lawd.
he stops in front of you, towel slung around his neck, voice low and amused, âsystem mustâve glitched. you were expecting someone else.â itâs not really a question. you blink up at him, thrown off. âuh⊠yeah. i thought i matched with a woman.â
his jaw tics, gaze skimming the busy gym around you before settling back. he mutters, almost under his breath, â... dangerous.â
you tilt your head, not sure what he means, but the words make something in your chest skip, âiâuhâitâs fine,â you say quickly, a little too quickly, because youâre already embarrassingly attracted to him. âi mean⊠youâre already here. i can still pay you for the session, even ifââ
he cuts you off with a sharp shake of his head. âare you sure? i donât wanna make you uncomfortable.â his tone is serious, no teasing in it, like heâs actually concerned about the idea of you being stuck with him.
you swallow, heat creeping up the back of your neck. âno, youâre fine.â
he studies you for a long moment, and you can feel your pulse in your ears. he shifts his weight, scratches at the back of his neck before finally sticking a hand out. âshinazugawa. sanemi.â his voice is rough but not unfriendly, and his palm is wide, calloused, warm when you put your hand in his.
you almost forget to say your own name, tongue tripping over it when you finally do. his grip is firm but careful, like heâs holding himself back, and when he lets go you already miss the contact more than you should.
âi specialize in strength training,â he says, like heâs reciting off a checklist. âpowerlifting. endurance. i do some conditioning too.â
you blink at him, not sure how to respond. powerlifting sounds like the opposite of what you were aiming for. still, you manage a small, âoh. okay. good, uh⊠good to know.â
he quirks a brow, clearly catching your hesitation, but doesnât comment.
you tuck your hands behind your back, trying to recover. âmy goalâs just to⊠tone up, i guess. build a little muscle, but nothing crazy. i just want to feel better about myself. stronger. not, you knowâŠâ you glance at his arms before you can stop yourself. ââŠnot like that.â
it slips out before you can catch it, and you wish you could snatch the words back. no offense. no offense. no offense. please donât choke me out with those muscles. or do..?
sanemiâs lips twitch, a small, sharp laugh breaking through. âdonât worry. iâm not gonna stick you under a barbell your first day. tone, huh? yeah, we can work with that.â the sound of his laugh lingers, husky and a little mocking, but not cruel. it makes your stomach do an unsteady flip, and you busy yourself nodding, trying to look anywhere but at the way his shirt clings to his chest.
his laugh fades but the smirk doesnât, lingering like he knows more than heâs letting on. you hate that it makes your chest feel warm, like heâs already got the upper hand. âalright,â he says finally, eyes flicking over you in a quick, assessing sweep. itâs not sleazyâmore professional than anythingâbut it still makes your skin prickle, like heâs actually mapping your body, âif toneâs the goal, weâll start simple. bodyweight, form checks, nothing heavy yet.â
you nod too fast, blurting, âsounds good,â when really all you can think about is the way his shirt strains against his shoulders. he tilts his head, one corner of his mouth lifting again. âyou sure youâre good with me? we can reschedule, get you with who you wanted.â
the question sounds casual, but thereâs something in his eyesâtesting you. your eyes scan him âiâm fine,â you say, though it comes out breathy. you clear your throat. âreally. iâm fine.â
he hums, like he doesnât quite believe you, but accepts it anyway. he gestures toward the open mats by the mirrors, a lazy sweep of his arm that makes his bicep flex in a way you pretend not to notice.
âwarmups first. letâs see what weâre working with.â
you sling your duffel onto a bench, heart pounding harder than it should for something as innocent as stretching. you follow him to the mats, trying not to watch the way his shoulders move under that tank top. the mirror doesnât helpâit doubles everything, forces you to see how small you look next to him. still, once youâre both down on the floor, the nerves start to ease. heâs just a guy, after all. a really hot guy, yeah, but still just⊠a trainer. câmon now donât be weird.
he runs you through some simple stretches, demoing each one before nodding for you to copy. arms up, bend forward, twist at the waist. you match his pace, your muscles loosening, the rhythm of it grounding you.
âso,â you say between a hamstring stretch and a quad pull, âdo they really do pizza fridays here? my coworker said it was a thing.â
sanemi snorts, pushing into a lunge. âpizza? yeah, iâve seen the signs. dumbest shit ever. why would a gym hand out pizza?â he shakes his head, a sharp laugh under his breath. âmight as well throw in free beer, too.â
you laugh, the sound surprising even yourself with how easy it comes. âguess itâs one way to guarantee repeat business.â
his mouth quirks again, and for the first time, the smirk doesnât feel like itâs at your expense. âmaybe. never touched the stuff though. no clue if itâs even good.â
the banter feels easy, almost normal. your chest doesnât feel as tight anymore, your legs donât shake just because heâs standing close. itâs strangeâyouâre still aware of him, the size, the scars, the sheer presenceâbut itâs not overwhelming anymore.
âsee?â he mutters, rolling his shoulder as you both switch sides. ânot so bad, right?â you grin, bent over one knee. âdepends. you gonna make me regret this later?â his laugh rumbles, low and sharp. âmaybe.â
he claps his hands once, sharp enough to draw a few glances from people nearby. âalright. warmupâs done. time to see what you can actually do.â
your stomach flips again, but he doesnât give you time to dwell. he drops into a push-up, perfect form, arms locking and unlocking in steady rhythm. his voice is muffled against the floor, âgive me five. show me your form.â
you blink down at him, half horrified. âpush-ups? already?â
âdonât whine,â he shoots back, not even winded as he hits ten before popping back onto his feet like it was nothing. âfive. thatâs all.â
you lower yourself to the mat, trying to remember how your gym teacher explained this in middle school. hands planted, back as straight as you can manage, you dip down once, twice, three timesâthen collapse on the fourth with an undignified huff.
sanemi snorts. not unkind, but loud enough that your face goes hot. ânot bad,â he says, crouching beside you. âspine needs to be straighter, though. like this.â
his palm flattens between your shoulder blades, the heat of it surprising even through your shirt. he presses lightly, guiding, while his other hand brushes the curve of your hip to shift your angle. âthere. feel that? tighter. keep your core up.â
you manage a shaky nod, heart hammering for a reason that has nothing to do with exercise.
âdonât look at me,â he adds, a faint grin tugging his mouth as you immediately glance at him. âfloor. always floor.â
âbossy,â you mutter, biting down a smile as you reset your position.
âbetter than letting you blow your back out on day one,â he shoots back, voice rough but faintly amused. you push through the last two reps, arms trembling, and collapse on the mat with a groan.
sanemi crouches again, forearms braced on his knees, eyeing you with something like approval. ânot bad for a start. weâll work on endurance. core strength first, tone second. youâll thank me later.â
you blow out a breath, hair sticking to your forehead. âif i can move tomorrow.â
âyouâll move,â he says with certainty, standing and offering his hand to pull you up. âwhether youâll like me tomorrowâthatâs another story.â
he doesnât waste a second after pulling you back onto your feet. before you can even catch your breath, heâs launching into what sounds like a memorized scriptâsafety precautions, injury prevention, hydration, warm-down routines.
âformâs everything,â he says, pacing a little in front of you as if heâs giving a lecture. âyou do it wrong, youâre out with a busted joint or slipped disc, and all your workâs wasted. always start light, test the range, build up. you push past what your bodyâs ready for? congratulationsâyouâre fucked for six weeks minimum.â
you blink at him, a little startled at the bluntness. ââŠinspirational.â
he huffs, but the corner of his mouth twitches. âiâm not here to make it sound pretty. iâm here to make sure you donât wreck yourself.â
you nod, pretending to take it all in while your eyes canât help flicking to the curve of his jaw, the way a vein runs down his bicep as he gestures. he catches you drifting and snaps his fingers once. âhey. you listening?â
âyeah, yeah,â you say quickly, scrambling to sound engaged. âhydration, form, donât wreck myself. got it.â
he squints at you but lets it slide. âso⊠how many clients do you usually take on?â you ask, trying to steer the spotlight away from yourself. âdepends,â he shrugs. âi donât do group stuff. just one-on-one. keeps it clean. i hate people screwing around with machines when they donât know what theyâre doing.â
âyou sound like you really love your job,â you tease.
he gives a dry laugh, shaking his head. âloveâs a strong word. but i know what iâm doing, and i donât half-ass it. thatâs enough.â
you hum, stretching your arms overhead again, partly to ease the ache, partly to stop staring at him head-on. âso what do you do if a client bails? like, quits halfway?â
âthey always come back.â his answer is immediate, âmaybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but they always come back when they realize coasting doesnât work. everybody wants results. nobody wants the grind. i just wait âem out.â thereâs something in the conviction of his voice that makes your skin prickle again, like heâs talking about more than workouts, âthat sounded kind of ominous,â you joke, forcing a laugh. he only smirks, not bothering to deny it.
after an hour of form checks, pushups that left your arms jelly, and his endless rambling about proper hydration and rest days, you finally drop onto the bench with your duffel. your body feels wrung out but light, like maybe you actually accomplished something. sanemi stands over you, towel slung across his shoulder, barely winded like he didnât just demo every exercise twice.
âgood work,â he says, and the words sound rare coming from him. âfirst sessions usually suck. you did fine.â â âfine,â you echo, blowing a strand of hair off your face. âthatâs a generous grade.â
he huffs, and then, out of nowhere, âcâmon. iâll buy you a smoothie. post-workout.â
you blink. âoh, uh, thatâs nice, but you donât have toââ
âi didnât say i had to,â he cuts in, already grabbing his bag. âdonât even worry about it. place across the street does decent ones. protein, fruit, all that shit.â but before you can argue, youâre already following him out, the gymâs heavy doors swinging behind you. takes one good lookâ left and rightâ then drags you across the way.
the smoothie bar is small, crowded with bright posters of bananas and kale. you order something safe, and he orders something that sounds like it belongs in a bodybuilderâs diet, extra protein on top of protein.
you sit across from him, plastic cup sweating between your palms. it feels weirdly casual, not trainer-client anymore.
âso,â you say after a sip, âwhat got you into all this? the gym life.â
sanemi leans back, rolling the straw between his teeth before answering. âfamily stuff. i was always the angry kid, i guess? gym gave me somewhere to dump it. turned out i was good at it, so i stayed.â
you nod, listening, curious, âmy brotherâs into it now,â he adds, and thereâs a flicker of pride under his rough tone. âkidâs in high school. iâve been training him to powerlift. it keeps him out of trouble, gives him focus. gives me something to do.â
âthatâs⊠actually really sweet,â you say before you can stop yourself. he groans, scrubbing a hand through his hair. âdonât call it that. heâs a pain in my ass most days.â
you smile into your smoothie, hiding it with the straw. âstill. sounds like you care.â he doesnât answer right away, just gives you a look across the table.Â
the smoothie cups end up empty quicker than you expect, conversation tapering into a comfortable lull. when you both step back outside, the air is cooler, carrying the faint tang of car exhaust and fried food from a place down the block. you sling your duffel over your shoulder, adjusting the strap as you walk side by side.
sanemi doesnât talk at first, just shoves one hand into his pocket, the other holding his phone. then, he stops and holds it out toward you. âhere. take my number.â you blink at him. âyour number?â he clears his throat, âyeah. if you want it,â he says, tone blunt but not unkind. âsessions, questions, whatever. easier than going through that app.â
you hesitate for a beat, then unlock your phone and pass it to him. he types fast, saves himself in your contacts with nothing but sanemi in all caps, and hands it back rather quickly. you brush it off.
âyâknow what,â he adds, rolling his shoulders like heâs brushing something off himself, âdonât worry about charging me. weâll just do this whole thing until you feel better âbout yourself.â
your brows lift. âwhat, like⊠free?â â âdonât make a big deal out of it,â he mutters, already looking ahead as he starts walking again. âyouâll stick with it longer if youâre not stressing over money. consider it⊠investment.â
the word hangs in the air between you, heavier than it should. you clutch your phone tighter, his name glowing back at you on the screen, and canât help the flutter that sparks in your chest.
â
the next morning, you wake up and immediately regret every life choice that led you here. your thighs are on fire, your arms feel like bricks, and your stomach aches every time you shift like someone slipped weights under your ribs overnight. it takes a good five minutes just to roll to the edge of the bed, groaning into your pillow.
half buried under your blanket, you reach for your phone and scroll down to the new contact sitting there in all caps: SANEMI. your thumb hovers for a second before you type.
you: i canât move.
you: is this normal?
it takes him only a minute to respond.
sanemi: welcome to the club.
sanemi: sore means itâs working. but donât die. and drink water.
you snort, immediately regretting it as your abs cramp.
you: donât die?? very reassuring.
sanemi: youâll live.
sanemi: whenâs your next free slot? weâll go again.
you stare at the screen, part exasperated, part weirdly eager, and type out your schedule. session booked.
â
the weeks fall into a pattern after that.
the gym becomes a place you donât dread anymore. its rubber mats, chalk-dusted air, and faint smell of disinfectant settle into something almost comforting. and always, sanemi is thereâwhite hair a little messy, tank tops showing scars you try not to stare at too long(and fail each passing time), towel looped casually around his neck. he swears that cooling towel really works.
the workouts vary but the rhythm stays the same.
squats with him crouched nearby, sharp eyes locked on your knees, his hand occasionally brushing your arm when he adjusts your stance. planks with him dropping down beside you, counting seconds in that low, steady voice until your arms tremble and give out. bodyweight circuits where he paces behind you, tossing out corrections and encouragement in the same breath.
between sets, you talk. small things at first: about the music blaring overhead (âthis song fucking sucksâ âitâs sabrina carpenter sanemi.â âand what does that got to do with what i just said?!â), about your job, about the way pizza fridays really are a thing at the gym.
eventually, the talks deepen. he mentions his younger brother again, how heâs been training him for powerlifting in their garage, how the kid complains through every rep. you in turn tease him, call him a supportive big brother, and he groans, muttering for you to shut up while the faintest smile tugs at his mouth. even though he agrees. sometimes he laughsâshort, sharp, like he doesnât mean to let it out. you find yourself waiting for those moments, the way his eyes soften just a little when they meet yours in the mirror.
by the third week, youâre not counting down minutes until the session ends. Â
the session winds down with you both on the mats, stretching out tired muscles, the mirrors catching every angle of you beside him. the gym is quieter now, most of the morning crowd cleared out, leaving only the low hum of treadmills and the faint clatter of a barbell being racked somewhere in the back. the air smells of rubber mats and faint citrus from the spray bottles lined along the wall.
âwell, congrats,â sanemi says suddenly, breaking the quiet. he tosses his towel over one shoulder, the ends damp with sweat. âbeen at this a month now. youâre doing great.â
you glance up at him, surprised, because he doesnât hand out praise like candy. his face is serious, thoughâsharp lines softened just a little around his mouth, pale eyes holding steady on you. âreally?â you ask, sitting up straighter, hair sticking damply to your neck.
âyeah.â his voice is blunt, but his expression doesnât quite match the roughness. âyour formâs cleaner. reps go smoother. youâre not whining half as much.â you huff, rolling your eyes, but the twitch of a smile breaks through before you can help it. he smirks in return, but it doesnât last longâhis gaze shifts, trailing downward in a way that feels less like a trainer and more like a man looking at you.
itâs subtle at first. the curve of your shoulders, the line of your waist where your shirt clings, the strength starting to show in your thighs. but then it lingers. his jaw tightens, like he realizes too late how long heâs been staring.
you feel the weight of it, heat creeping up your neck. he clears his throat, jerks his gaze away toward the wall. âsorry. habit. just⊠checking progress.â the apology sounds gruff, but the tips of his ears are faintly pink. you tug at your shoelace, trying to ground yourself. âprogress, huh?â
his eyes flick back to you for the briefest moment, softer this time, before he looks away again. âyouâre stronger. and it shows.â the words come out low, almost reluctant, like heâs not used to complimenting people. but thereâs no mistaking the honesty in his expressionâthe way his brow eases, the tension in his mouth slackens, just for a second.
the silence that follows isnât awkward, exactly. itâs charged, a silence that hums like static under your skin. then, you laugh a little too bright, a weak little spark trying to make sense of the static between you. âthanks,â you say, fingers smoothing sweat from your knee like you can iron out the heat crawling up your neck. âi got it. iâuhâappreciate it.â
he nods, eyes flicking to the clock, the towel sliding to his other shoulder. âheads up,â he says, voice rough like gravel, âiâll be out next week. reunion. i wonât be around for about a week.â
your head perks up. âoh, fun. what are you doing for it?â he sighs, not at you, but at the thought of it. âold crew,â he says, mouth tipping like the word as if he didnât want to say it. âweâre meeting at some resort. my friend tengen picked it. he said it was flashy enough. whatever that really means.â
you grin. âthat sounds fun. sun, nap, tans, maybe run up his credit card. iâm jealous.â sanemi chuckles at your suggestion, âyeah,â he says, then breathes out like fun is heavier than it should be. âitâll be fine until they start bugging me about my relationship.â
you angle toward him, elbows on your knees, soreness forgotten. âoh? and what about it?â his look lands on you, sharp at first, then softening like he changes his mind, well iâm glad you asked shinobu. âthatâs the thing,â he says, a dry little laugh cutting off at the edge, âi donât have one. they wonât let it go.â
you widen your eyes. ânot even a secret girlfriend you donât reveal to anyone?!â his mouth crooks. âum⊠does a barbell count?â â âuh yeah, if youâre a loser. of course.â you say, and he laughs for real, short and warm.
he fiddles with the edge of his tank, thumb dragging the fabric once, eyes taking a slow path along your face before he sets them back on yours. âthey all paired off,â he says. âhouses, cats and dogs,holiday cards. they see me and think iâm missing a piece.â
you tilt your head. âare you?â he chews on that, jaw working, not irritated, just honest. âdepends on the day. i like my quiet. i like not explaining myself.â a small shrug. âthen they ask if iâm lonely, and now iâm thinking about it.â
âclassic,â you murmur. then you nudge your sneaker lightly into his. âyou could lie,â you say. âtell them youâre in a committed relationship with leg day.â
âtheyâd buy it,â he deadpans. âor,â you say, pretending to examine the frayed lace on your shoe, âyou could tell them youâre seeing someone. mysterious, charming, has excellent taste in pop.â
he groans. âyou and that sabrina song.â
âitâs catchy.â
âit sucks.â
âyouâre grumpy.â
âyouâre biased. i bet you donât even like espresso!â
you smile. âokay, serious question. if you could make them understand one thing about you that isnât a relationship status, what would it be?â his gaze sharpens the way it does when he lines up your knees over your toes. âthat iâm not wasting time,â he says. âiâm building something even if it doesnât look like theirs.â a beat, quiet and true. âthat iâm not behind.â
you nod, a soft hum catching in your chest. âyou arenât.â he searches your face like heâs checking your balance, like truth has a posture and he wants to see if youâre keeping it. the purple in his eyes warms at the edges. âwhat about you,â he asks, lower now, curiosity slipping in, âpeople bug you about all that?â
âall the time,â you say. âfamily chats, coworkers, the algorithm. everybodyâs got a countdown theyâre trying to hand me.â
âyeah,â he says, like he knows the sound of that pressure. âif it helps,â you add, feeling braver than a minute ago, âyou can tell them youâre seeing someoneâ you can name drop me if you want. it keeps you booked, it keeps you busy, it looks like a relationship on paper, just, you know, no kissing.â
his look drifts down your mouth and back up like he didnât mean to take the long way. âalmost,â he says, and the word sits between you, warm as the lights humming over the racks. you clear your throat âtext me when you land,â you say, and the ask comes out natural. âso i know you didnât get kidnapped by a bachelorette party.â
ânot my scene,â he says, quick. âprove it,â you tease just as quick.
his phone is already in his hand, the glow skimming his knuckles. âiâll send a picture,â he says. âno women. maybe a pool, maybe a drink.â
âwith the tiny umbrella.â
âyâknow whatâ sure, lady.â he agrees, still watching you. he thinks as you speak a bit more, making mental notes. a little note that says send her the picture, donât forget the umbrella, book the next session, remember the way she looked right now when the gym went quiet and the air smelled like lemon and rubber, and you shift your weight on the mat, feeling the day inside your muscles, feeling the week stretching out in front of you, the promise of a photo, the next appointment blinking to be set, the doorâs metal bar cool under your palm when you push it open into the bright outside where the sky sits high and wide and waiting
â
you clock in, grind through the morning, and blink your way to lunch a few minutes late. by the time the sun shifts in the windows, your shift is over. the only thing left is the ride home. your phone buzzes while youâre still in the parking lot, sun slipping low across the hood of your car. you donât even have to check who it is.
sanemi: boarding.
sanemi: this place smells like hand sanitizer and slight ass.
you snort. your reflection in the screen grins back at you.
you: send proof�
you: and i want the tiny umbrella when you land.
a beat, then a photo drops in. aisle seat, his knee in black joggers, a blurry wing through the oval window. his forearm takes up half the frame, veins and pale scars, the corner of a safety card peeking in like a photobomb.
sanemi: happy?
you: deeply moved. thank you big guy
sanemi: yw
he doesnât message you for a couple hours. assuming he was already on board flying. youâre halfway through a shower when it buzzes again across the sink. dripping and wrapped in a towel, fly out of the shower to swipe and answer it.
a room photo. big resort bed, too many pillows, white sheets pulled tight. thereâs a balcony door cracked open to blue water and a slice of sky. his bag sits on a chair, black and beat up, one strap hanging. his shoes are kicked half under the desk like he walked out of them mid-thought. the mirror catches him a little at the edge, shirt clinging from travel, hair a mess. he didnât mean to catch himself like that. he sent it anyway.
sanemi: not bad. no tiny umbrella yet.
you: oh my god that bed looks so comfyy
another photo, closer, his hand holding a plastic cup near the balcony. there is, in fact, a tiny purple umbrella jammed next to a lime wedge. the ocean blurs behind it. his thumb takes up the bottom of the frame.
sanemi: congratulations. you win.
you: i always do. also nice thumb
three dots. then:
sanemi: stfu
sanemi: tell me what to order for dinner so you stop bullying my thumb
you drop onto your bed and kick your feet like a child.
you: show me menu
he does
sanemi: i might wing it.
you: that grilled plate with the pineapple thing
twenty minutes. you scroll, you half-start a show, you donât watch it. then your phone lights up in a tiny burst.
plate pic. grilled fish, char lines perfect, pineapple salsa scattered like confetti. another pic, hand hovering over a bowl of something green with chips stuck in at odd angles. the last one is a crime scene close-up of a churro torn in half with chocolate dripping. the angle is ugly. it makes you laugh harder.
you: i mean it looks good but ngl your photo skills are kinda ass!
sanemi: fuck off. the contract didnât come with âmake sure you can take photos wellâÂ
a bit later a blurry video lands. two seconds long. his wrist flicks past the camera, a sparkly beaded bracelet spelling something you canât make out. thereâs laughter in the background, someone yelling his name, the beat of a poolside song that sounds like last summer and sunscreen. you replay it three times like a creep.
you: itâs so cute what the heck!
another message arrives almost on top of that one.
sanemi: they asked about my love life.
you: and you said
sanemi: i said iâm training someone mean who likes pop music and bullies me
you: mean?
sanemi: extremely.
you: do they approve of your fake relationship with leg day
sanemi: tengen asked if leg day treats me right.
you: and?
sanemi: i said it ruins me and i keep going back. #toxic
â
you spend the week traveling in small circles. work, errands, laundry half folded on the couch. the microwave beeps at midnight, the neighborâs dog cries at the mailman, and your shoes leave the same crescent of dust by the door. you keep your phone faceup on the counter like a lighthouse.
he pings when he can. bad wifi, busy schedule, the ocean chewing up his reception.
sanemi: poolâs loud
you: sunscreen on your ears pls
sanemi: not a child
you: famous last words before sunburn
a photo lands at lunch on day two. a palm leaf shadow cut across concrete, his foot at the edge of the frame, bracelet glittering. tengenâs laugh bleeds in from somewhere off screen. in the evenings you do band walks in your living room. you shuffle past the couch, past the wilted plant that you've been meaning to throw out, past your reflection in the dark tv. you hear his voice anyway. chin up. tuck your ribs. breathe.
you: i did twenty minutes
sanemi: do twenty five tomorrow
midweek your coworker drags you to a cheap diner. the vinyl seat squeaks, and the waitress calls you honey. you tell her about the trainer who hates your pop playlist and sends you pictures of food like a dad on a field trip. you were teased endlessly about if hes hot or not. you had to show them a photo of him in the app when the questions piled up. your coworker who had originally suggested you the app is now jealous of you (jokingly of course.)
that night another message. a plate of neon shaved ice, two spoons stuck like flags. the caption is just:
sanemi: sugar
morning comes rough and soft. you pack your lunch, and let the kettle sing. he texts between sets of whatever reunion nonsense theyâre doing.
sanemi: they made me play volleyball
you: did you win
sanemi: i broke a bracelet
you: of course u broke a bracelet. smhÂ
sanemi: stfu. but i did win. of course i did.
on thursday the sky opens for ten minutes and throws water at your windshield. you sit in your car and watch it bead, thinking of the balcony door he keeps cracking open in his photos like a habit. you type and erase, type and erase, then send something safe about protein powder flavors. he replies with something saltier about all of them tasting like drywall. your ears feel warm from how stupid you felt.Â
that night he texts again, late. the notification lights your ceiling.
sanemi: need an opinion
you: on what
sanemi: which photo looks less stupid
two images blink in. both catch him clean and careless. in the first heâs near the balcony, shirt soft and worn in, hair pushed back by a damp hand. the ocean is a smear of blue behind him and thereâs a crease at the corner of his mouth like a smile thought about showing up and changed its mind. in the second heâs by the resort walkway at golden hour. the light turns his scars to pale threads and warms his eyes to molten lavender. his jaw looks unfair. the bracelet is on his wrist. he forgot to hate it.
you stare too long and then pretend you didnât.
you: both are good but the second one is so cunty actually
sanemi: omfg. english pls
you: the light loves you. send that one
sanemi: why do i need one at all
you: because i said so
sanemi: hilarious. they want me to post shit tengen makes everyone do it. updates, proof of life, blah blah
you: okay then. second pic. caption it something minimal so they think youâre mysterious
sanemi: like what
you: âsunset is fineâ or âresort is loudâ
sanemi: that shit sounds so stupid.
you: then âhad fishâ
sanemi: ??
â
the gym smells like lemon spray and rubber again, which feels weirdly like home now. the front desk girl waves without looking up from her tablet. the music is a playlist you recognize. you step onto the mats and then he is there, like he walked out of the mirror and into your lane. he looks travel-clean. hair damp like he shoved water through it in the locker room, shirt soft and dark, the bracelet gone, a faint mark left on the skin where it had hugged. he wears the week on him in small ways you canât name until you are closer. he definitely got tanner too. sexy papa.Â
âhey,â he says, voice a little lower than usual, âyou alive.â â âbarely,â you say, smiling anyway. âhow was it?â
the corner of his mouth lifts. âloud. expensive. dumb bracelets.â
âproof of life?â you ask. he reaches into his bag and flips you a tiny cocktail umbrella, folded closed. purple. same shade as the last one. it arcs once and lands in your palm.
âi hate that i knew youâd like that,â he says. âyouâre evolving,â you say, tucking it into your phone case.
he nods at the mirror. âwarm up. show me what survived.âÂ
you stretch. shoulders, hamstrings, the long line down your calves. he watches like he always does, attention clean and exact, correcting with a tap of two fingers at your hip, a palm hovering near your shoulder blade without touching. it all feels normal and not normal at once.
âyou post the photo?â you ask, breath steadying. he huffs a laugh. âtengen posted it for me. apparently i donât move fast enough.â
âit was a good one,â you say, not looking at him, which is the same as looking at him too hard. âyou picked it,â he says, like that explains the numbers stacked under the picture you didnât let yourself count. âokay. bodyweight circuit. two rounds. slow. then we talk schedule.â
you move. the first squat feels clumsy and then your body remembers the map. planks shake the rust out. lunges mark the floor in a neat path you follow back. he counts lazy and precise.
between sets you trade small things. you tell him about the thrift jacket and the lemon ice. he tells you about his best friend obanai almost killing him with a volleyball, and a drink that tasted like melted candy. however, he admits the bracelet wasnât the worst part.
second round finishes and you sit on the mat to breathe. the gym has thinned out; the big fans overhead click like slow clocks. âyou kept up,â he says, and his mouth doesnât fight the compliment this time. âgood. weâll add weight again by the end of the week.â
âmean,â you say. âeffective,â he counters, and itâs almost a shared smile. he grabs his bag and digs out a printout. the grid is neat, days across the top, exercises down the side, notes in his blunt, impatient handwriting. âthree days on, one day off,â he says. âlight conditioning on your off day if youâre bored. donât text me at 2 a.m. to tell me youâre bored.â
âno promises,â you say, folding the paper. âcoach.â
âdonât start,â he says, but he doesnât look mad. âsame time wednesday?â
âyeah,â you say, and the word sits warm. you slide the tiny umbrella deeper into your phone case, and when you stand he is already reaching out a hand to pull you up by the wrist like this is just what he does now, and your skin goes electric at the touch you pretend is nothing while the mirrors throw you both back at you.Â
youâre still rolling the tiny purple umbrella between your fingers when he clears his throat, eyes cutting to the side like heâs aiming around you. the gymâs fans keep clicking, slow as breathing. âhey,â he says, casual like heâs testing a weight before he racks it, âthereâs a movie i wanted to see later.â a beat. âtonight.â
you blink, then try to play it cool and fail immediately. âwhich one?â he names it, the exact one youâve had shoved in your notes app for weeks. your mouth jumps before your patience does. âshut up. that one?â
his brow ticks, amused. âthat one.â heat rushes up your neck, sweet and a little dizzy. âi wanted to see it,â you say, softer than you mean to. âi just⊠didnât have anyone to go with.â
he looks at you properly then, like heâs re-measuring your stance. âyou do now.â it comes out rough, plain, not a line, just a fact he decided to put in the air.
âokay,â you say, too fast, then you try to fix your voice and it comes out breathy. âi mean, yeah. of course. letâs go.â
the corner of his mouth edges upward like heâs working against it. a light shrug, shoulders cut clean under the soft shirt. âcool.â he taps his phone against his thigh. âshowtimeâs at seven-twenty. iâll grab seats if youâre actually in.â
âiâm in,â you say, and your hands suddenly donât know where to live. you tuck hair behind your ear, then you tuck it again, then you are extremely interested in the tiny umbrella now living in your phone case. âuhâshould we meet there?â
âyeah,â he says. âtext me when youâre close. iâll be in the lobby, probably judging the popcorn.â
âyou donât like popcorn?â
âi like not getting kernels murdered between my teeth.â a ghost of a grin. âget the big one, though. iâll help.â
you nod too much. you hate that he notices and you love that he notices. the fans hum. the mirror throws you both back, a little flushed, a little off balance. he adjusts the strap on his bag and itâs nothing, itâs routine, and somehow it feels like a step.
âgo stretch your calves before you stiffen up,â he says, sliding back into trainer without losing whatever this is. âwear something you can sit in for two hours without cursing me.â
âcopy,â you say, all blush and yes. âiâll, um, see you there.â
âyeah,â he answers, eyes catching yours long enough to spark that small, charged sting under your skin. âsee you.â
â.Â
you show up early on purpose and circle the lot once to kill nerves. comfy shoes that donât pinch, soft pants that sit right on your hips, a loose tee layered under a zip hoodie that still smells like your detergent and your choice of perfume. you swipe lip balm on in the car and tell yourself not to overdo it. itâs a movie, not a wedding.
the lobby is cold in that way only theaters are, all ice air and neon. the carpet is some violent pattern that hides spills. the popcorn machine hums behind the chatter. you text him that youâre here and look up just as the doors slide open.
he walks in. black joggers that taper neat at the ankle, clean sneakers, a white and green jacket zipped halfway over a dark tee. the lights catch on the jacketâs green stripes and make his eyes look lighter, almost washed lavender. hair pushed back with water, a few pieces refusing to behave. travel is gone off him now. he looks like your city again, sharpened and steady.
âhey,â he says, voice under the lobby noise. he takes you in top to bottom like heâs memorizing a new warmup for you. the pause is brief and not brief at all. his mouth tilts. âthose pants,â he says, blunt as always, âmake your ass look good.â
your brain short circuits for a heartbeat. heat spikes up your neck. you laugh because your body needs somewhere to put it. âsanemi.â he doesnât blink. a slow half-grin, no apology in it. âwhat. you asked for honesty the first week.â his gaze drifts and returns, heavier now, but his tone stays even. âiâm being honest.â
ânoted,â you manage, smoothing a palm down the thigh that suddenly feels like it belongs to a different person. âyou look⊠handsome.â
his brow ticks like you surprised him and pleased him in the same second. he pretends to study the showtimes as if they are complex math. âfigured the jacket would keep me from freezing to death.â
âsmart,â you say, then ruin it by adding, âit looks really good on you,â and the word really sticks like caramel.
he cuts his eyes back to you and that almost-smile lives a little longer. âpopcorn?â he asks. âlarge. iâll help so you donât drown in it.â
you nod, too quick. the cashier slides a tub across, hot and absurd. you both reach at once and your fingers brush, a clean static that snaps up your arm. he pretends it didnât happen, or maybe he puts it away for later. you canât tell. you follow him toward the ticket taker, the jacket green bright in your periphery, the theater doors heavy and dark ahead, the cold air curling at your ankles like a cat getting you used to the idea of sitting close.
the auditorium is empty except for the two of you. rows of dark seats like ribs, screen washed pale with trailers. the air is cold enough to make your ankles goosebump under your sweatpants. he chooses the back middle like a little kid, drops into the seat with his knees wide and the tub of popcorn balanced between you.
the lights fall slow. you trade whispers at first, then normal voices, then laughter that doesnât have to hide because no one turns to shush you. your shoulders knock once and again. the screen throws blue and then gold across his face, catching in the pale of his eyes so they look almost silver.
âthat stunt was fake as hell,â he murmurs during a chase, and you gasp loud on purpose. âexcuse me, sir, that was art.â
âthat was wires,â he says, stealing a handful of popcorn. a kernel clings to his lip and you try not to stare. you fail. he flicks it away, eyes cutting to you. âwhat.â
ânothing,â you say, smiling into your drink. âyouâve got opinions.â
âcorrect ones.â
when the score swells, he leans forward, elbows on knees, absorbed in the movie. you see this, and giggled to yourself, something warm settle in your chest. when the comedy lands, you both giggle like youâre not supposed to, trading lines back and forth, building dumb little riffs that make the scene funnier than it is. when the quiet parts come, he sits back again and you feel the space between your thighs and his go aware. the popcorn tub becomes a negotiation. your fingers brush. once, twice. neither of you move away.
halfway through, a jump scare you absolutely saw coming still gets you. your hand shoots to his forearm before you can think, palm landing on warm muscle and the smooth line of an old scar. he turns his head, not his arm, and the look he gives you is quick and sharp. you whisper, âshut up,â before he can say anything. he huffs a soft laugh that you feel more than hear.
there are moments you forget to watch. his profile is a clean line in the light, the green on his jacket catching when the screen goes bright. he tilts the tub toward you without looking, like he already knows youâre reaching. your thigh touches his for a whole minute and neither of you mention it. your voice gets loud on a joke and he laughs harder just to make it worse. you swat his shoulder. he bumps yours back, gentle, then pretends to be fascinated by the plot again.
near the end, a scene lands that you both love for different reasons. you turn to tell him your reason and he is already turning to tell you his, and your words tangle for a second in the dark like you walked into each other in a doorway. you grin first. he grins back, small and clean, and the world on the screen blurs at the edge until the music pulls you under again.
credits start to crawl. the house lights stay low. neither of you stands right away. he taps the empty tub lightly with a knuckle, like a gavel, and says, âverdict?â
âi loved it,â you say. âeven the fake stunt.â
âespecially the fake stunt,â he corrects, eyes on you, voice warm with something that wasnât there when you walked in.Â
as you both make your way to the front he excuses himself to the bathroom and you hover by the lobby poster wall, reading taglines you already forgot. the theater is mostly empty now; the neon hums, soda fountains hiss, a carpet-stained arcade game blinks like a tired eye. you text him a stupid line about the fake stunt and pocket your phone.
a group of guys spills out of theater three, loud in the careless way. they clock you standing alone and alter course like itâs nothing. one of them grins too wide. another adjusts a cap that doesnât fit his head. the tallest leans an elbow against the poster frame near your shoulder.
âyou here by yourself?â cap asks.
you smile because thatâs what you were taught, small and neat, and keep your tone light. âwaiting on someone.â â âwe can wait with you,â the tall one says, not a question. his friends laugh like theyâve already decided this is charming.
you nod like youâre indulging a bit, eyes skimming the doors, the bathrooms, the concession counter. pulse steady, breath even. you donât want to make a scene. you donât want to be rude. you donât want to be here.
âwhatâd you see?â wide-grin asks, leaning in too close to read the title off your face.
âthe good one,â you say, joking on autopilot. it buys you a sliver of space but not enough.
âwe could show you a better one,â cap says, and his laugh is the kind that needs an audience.
âbabe,â a voice cuts in, low and near your ear, âyou ready to go?â
you donât have to turn to know itâs him. the guys do. they straighten like a teacher walked in. sanemi steps into the small circle they made around you without touching anyone, jacket still bright white and green under the neon. his eyes arenât loud. they donât need to be. he looks at you first.
âyeah,â you say, letting the relief slide into the word like a hand into a pocket. âready.â
âmy bad, man,â tall says, hands up half an inch. âdidnât know she was with you.â
ânow you do,â sanemi answers, evenly. he shifts so youâre at his side without making it obvious that he did that on purpose. the group mutters apologies that bump into each other and peel off toward the doors.
the lobby breathes again and you do too. he angles his face down, eyes skimming your expression like heâs evaluating you over something.
âyou good?â he asks, softer now. âyeah,â you say, and itâs mostly true. âthanks.â his jaw works once like heâs swallowing something sharp. âdonât thank me.â then his voice tips wry to lighten it. âcâmon. before i start a fight.â
you fall into step beside him, tiny umbrella a small weight in your phone, the arcade gameâs tired blinking chasing you both toward the night air and the parking lot glow where the world widens out again
â
a few weeks slide by like good reps. you get bolder without announcing it. leggings that hug a little closer, tops that skim your waist instead of hiding it. nothing loud. just small edits you pretend are for comfort. he never comments right away. he adjusts your stance, counts your seconds, taps two fingers at your hip to keep your line. later, when youâre wiping down a bench, he says it as you barely catch it. â--color suits you.â it lands warmer than it should.
photos trade places in your phones. you send a mirror snap before a session, he'll either heart it or leave you on read. later he replies with the gymâs empty morning in cool blue light, a stack of plates, his hand in frame like an accident. you send a coffee pic that catches your mouth at the edge. he sends his lunch with an aggressive amount of protein.
you: hows work
sanemi: its boring. i rather kms
you: rude. meet me after for not-rude food
sanemi: ohagi cart then. seven thirty
dinners start sneaking into the schedule. ohagi cart first, sweet rice and red bean pressed into neat shapes, powdered fingers and soft bites you trade without thinking. a week later itâs tacos from a truck where the lime juice runs down your wrists and he watches you laugh at yourself before handing you a napkin with the quiet he uses to rack weights. another night itâs a diner where the waitress calls you both sweetie and he pretends not to hear it while you steal his fries.
at the gym the space between you keeps learning you. when you squat, he no longer hovers at the edge of reach. he spots you close and his palm skims your ribs when you wobble and neither of you flinch. when you plank, he drops beside you and counts too slowly on purpose. you kick his ankle. he'll feign like it hurts him until you actually push him down.
plans start sounding less like errands. a night market. a bookstore with a cat that ignores both of you. a late grocery run where he carries the heavy bag without asking and you bother him about which protein drinks he liked (again). a walk after one session where you circle the block twice because neither of you says goodbye fast enough and the air feels good.
on a thursday he texts a photo of his brother pulling a deadlift in their garage, sneakers crooked, wrist wrapped, pride loud in the background you canât see. kidâs getting there. you send back a voice note cheering a soft 'go genya!!'. he writes: he said thanks and shut up and you can hear his laugh in the words.
by the time the month flips, your camera roll is a map of where youâve been together without trying to name it. bowls and tickets and streetlights on wet pavement. his jacket green and white in three different images. your hand on a paper cup with his thumb barely in frame like he forgot to get out of the way again. the texts sit under it all.
sanemi: saturday dinner. real one. sit-down. no truck
you: i have a dress that you may like
sanemi: try it
you look at your closet like it is a starting line and feel the same sweet, light dizziness you felt in a dark theater when a fake stunt made him speak and your hand found his arm.Â
â
and so saturday comes.
you text him your address and he texts back a simple got it that feels bigger than it reads. maybe you're just so nervous. hes sexy. hes hot. he flirts with you. he has the same interest as you. the afternoon stretches slow. you shower, lotion, pick a dress you havenât had an excuse to wearâsoft, easy to sit in, skims your waist, falls sweet over your hips. nothing loud. a little gloss. the good perfume, one spritz at the back of your neck because youâre not trying too hard, except you are. you layer it with a lotion on your elbow and shoulder.
you stand in your entryway pretending to look for your keys when the knock comes. two taps. your stomach drops and then lifts instantaneously.
when you open the door, he goes completely still.
he had said heâd keep it simpleâdark tee, black jeans, jacket slung over his forearm, clean sneakersâbut the look on his face knocks the breath out of you harder than any set. his eyes sweep once, slow, and catch. the quiet whistles out of him.
âdamn,â he says, honest as a slap. âthose pants are no match.â his mouth crooks, praised and a little wrecked. âyou lookââ he huffs a laugh at himself, shakes his head like words are heavy. âyeah. you look like that.â
you blush so hot your ears go fizzy. you make a sound that isnât a word and try to hide it as a laugh. âoh my god. stop,â you say, which is the worst lie youâve told today.
âwhy would i do that,â he asks, voice gone quieter. he reaches, slow enough for you to step back if you want. but you donât. his fingers find your hand, warm and sure, and he lifts it. he bends and presses his mouth to your knucklesâlight, careful, lazy. so achingly tender.
your heart bangs against your ribs hard enough to make you sway. fuck.
his eyes flick up while his mouth is still close to your skin, like he wants to check if youâre breathing. you are. barely. he straightens, still holding your hand for a beat longer than necessary, thumb brushing once at the base of your fingers in a touch so small it feels enormous.
âready?â he asks, rougher now, like that single kiss gave way to something tender and heâs pretending it didnât.Â
âyeah,â you say, except your voice comes out thinner and sweeter than usual, the kind you donât hear yourself use. you grab your keys, phone, the tiny umbrella tucked into your case flashing purple for luck. you lock the door with your free hand, and he is still there, broad in your narrow hallway, smelling clean and warm, looking at you like youâve already stepped into a different kind of night.
âelevator or stairs?â he asks, teasing light.
âwhichever gets us out there faster,â you say, and your pulse answers the question for you while he guides you toward the hall, your fingers still tingling where his mouth had been, the evening opening in front of you like a door thatâs finally, finally been unlocked
he opens the passenger door for you. the car smells faintly like clean soap and something warm you canât place. rock hums low from the radio, guitar a lazy snarl under the dashboard lights. he waits until your seatbelt clicks, then rounds to his side and slides in, palm easy on the wheel.
âtoo loud?â he asks, already dialing the volume down so the music settles into thebackground. âitâs good,â you say, looking out at the streetlights smearing the glass. âwhat is it.â â âold playlist,â he says. âstuff that didnât get annoying.â a small glance over, a quick sweep that lands and lingers. âyou look good.â
you pretend to study the passing storefronts so your mouth doesnât give you away. âyou already said.â
âwell, saying again,â he answers, softer now, like the song asked him to.
you talk about nothing and everything again. the neighborâs dog that ran into the fire hydrant. his brotherâs latest deadlift number. which leggings would look good on you. best yelp restaurant. best movie, you name it.
he turns down a side street you donât usually take. the buildings go newer, shinier, the sidewalks wider. a line of people waits outside a place with soft gold letters and a host stand that looks like a jewelry counter. your brows jump.
âweâre not going there,â you say, respectful disbelief in your voice. âthat place is booked out for the year.â
he pulls right up to the curb, puts the car in park, and cuts the engine. your eyes widen. "how in the hell did you manage to snag a spot?"--- âoh shut up,â he says, laughing, the sound low and pleased. âmy friendâs the chef.â
you turn to him too fast and then slower because youâre trying to be a person. âyou have a friend who can do this.â
âkyojuro,â he says,. âhe loves food. he got a michelin star recently.â he slides out, comes around, and opens your door again. âcome on. before he decides we didnât end up coming.â
the night air is soft on your knees as you step out. inside the restaurant, light pours like honey, quiet voices layered with the soft clink of glass. the host recognizes him and smiles like youâre expected. sanemi rests a hand at the small of your back for just a second as you follow, heat through fabric, a guide more than a claim. your heart does its stupid sprint anyway.
âreservation for shinazugawa,â he says. the words fit his mouth like a suit. the host beams and gestures you down a private room for 2. you sit. he sits. the rock from the car still ghosts your ears, and over it you can hear the quiet rush of your own pulse meeting the hum of a room that has already decided tonight is going to be good.
the host slides a door open and the city noise flattens to a soft hum behind glass. the room is small and warm, a low table washed in honey light, two settings, linen that feels like you were one of the 1%. you sit across from each other at first and then drift closer by instinct, chairs angled, knees almost friendly under the table.
thereâs a single candle that smells like rice steam and cedar. condensation pearls on a carafe of water. the menus are weighty, thick paper that makes a clean sound when you lift the corner. you lean in to share one, shoulders touching for a beat before either of you pretends to adjust.
âitâs a set,â he murmurs, chin tipping toward the page. âchef changes pieces every week.â his voice has that low glide it gets when he actually likes something.
âwhatâs calling you,â you ask, and your breath stirs the edge of the menu where his fingers rest. his hands look different here, calmer. he traces a line down the descriptions like he is already tasting them.
âthis,â he says, tapping a course that mentions smoke and stone. âand the cold to hot one.â he glances at you. âyou like citrus, right.â you nod
the server appears and disappears. warm towel, cool towel, a shy little dish of toasted sesame to crush between your fingers. you both roll the scent over your mouths and grin. when the server asks about allergies, he lets you answer first and you feel him listen.
âweâll do the tasting,â he says, after, casual like he didnât just buy you a tiny world. âand whatever pairing is not annoying.â
âtea,â you suggest. âor something floral. nothing that fights.â
âtea,â he decides, quick. his knee bumps yours under the table and neither of you move it.
you talk while the first small thing is being built somewhere out of sight. not about work. not about macros. little things. his little brother. your tiktok you sent him. the way the candle smells like your grandmotherâs kitchen when winter was loud. he watches your mouth while you speak and you pretend you donât notice because it makes your tongue clumsy.
âyou nervous,â he asks âa little,â you tell him. âbut in a good way.â
the door slides open again and the first plates arrive like punctuation. your shoulders are still angled together, the menu still open and shared beside your wrists, the candle throwing soft gold at the inside of his throat, and the night steadies itself around this small table where everything feels a little heightened and a little easy at the same time
âgo ahead,â he says, chin tipping, voice softer for the small room. you lift one of the bites with its tiny spoon and hold it up without thinking, angled toward him. the light is dim enough that the space between you feels private, face to face but blurred at the edges.
he leans in. his mouth closes around the spoon with a quiet clink, careful, the heat of his breath warming the space between your fingers and the handle. when you pull back, his breath brushes your knuckle. he swallows, eyes on yours like heâs waiting to see if youâll spook.
âgood?â you whisper.
âyeah,â he says, low. âgive me yours.â it comes out like a tease and a test. you take the second bite for yourself, citrus bright and a little smoky, and your eyes flutter without permission. his mouth tilts like he caught it. he takes the tiny spoon from your fingers then, turns the next plate, and holds one up for you the same way. you lean in because now itâs your turn.
the server slips out as quietly as they came. the candle leans, the room breathes, and the two of you sit a little closer than before, sharing plates and the small, charged hush that comes from talking softer than you need to.
another plate arrives built for fingers. neat bites lined up. you pick one up and raise a brow. âcareful,â you murmur, because it glistens. âmessy.â
âi can take it,â he says, which is not subtle, and his eyes say he knows it isnât. you feed him again. he opens for you, slow, and when he closes down this time the pad of his tongue skims the tip of your finger to catch a run of sauce. it is quick and it is not an accident. heat pricks the back of your neck.
âgood?â you ask, pretending your breath is normal.
his gaze flickers to your mouth. âyeah.â his voice roughens. âyour turn.â
he brings a bite to your lips and holds it steady, patient. you lean in, teeth catching, and the edge slips. you steady it with a hand around his wrist, and when you lick a smear of citrus from the side, your lips kiss the inside of his thumb. the touch is light, honey-sweet. his inhale stutters, barely there, but you feel it in the place where your fingers circle him.
âsorry,â you whisper, not sorry at all.
âdonât be,â he says, and bites down softly on his bottom lip like heâs keeping something inside. you watch the imprint bloom and your stomach drops a floor.
he feeds you another. you take it cleaner and still manage to chase a glossed edge with the tip of your tongue because now itâs a game. his hand doesnât move. the corner of his mouth does. youâre close enough to see the pale scar that interrupts his upper lip and the faint, unfair pink of it when he relaxes.
âyou always this neat,â he asks under his breath.
âno,â you say, and thatâs the truth. your thumb glides over a stray grain of salt at his knuckle. âyouâre making me try.â
he huffs, not a laugh, a sound lower. âkeep trying.â his fingers brush your wrist when he passes you the next piece.
a softer course lands, something youâre meant to break together. you both reach, hands overlapping, and the delicate shell snaps with a sweet crack. you look up out of reflex, and he is already looking, eyes half-lidded like heâs watching heat rise. you thumb a gloss of filling from the corner of your mouth and he tracks the motion, tongue darting out to wet his own bottom lip like his body answered a question you hadnât asked yet.
âyou missed a spot,â he says, voice thinner than before. he leans in and lifts his napkin, clean and careful, swiping the edge of your lip. he doesnât have to use his thumb after. but he does. his skin is warm, a touch that lasts exactly one heart count longer than it needs to. you catch the pad of it in a quick kiss before you can stop yourself.
he stills. then breathes out through his nose, slow, âtea?â you say, too lightly, because your pulse is loud. âbefore i start committing crimes.â
he nods for tea and the room resets, steam curling like breath. the plates get smaller, sweeter. you steal a sugared berry with your fingers and hold it out. he leans in and takes it slow, teeth grazing your skin, tongue chasing a grain of sugar.
âcareful,â you murmur. âsticky.â
âi like sticky,â he says, quiet and filthy. his eyes donât leave your mouth. you laugh to break it and donât break it at all. the server glides in and out, refilling water, whisking matcha. you trade one more bite and your lips brush the pad of his thumb again. this time he doesnât pretend itâs an accident.
âyou missed,â he says, voice almost a breath, and brings his thumb to your bottom lip to show you where. you close around it without thinking, a press, a hum, nothing polite. his breath skates across your cheekbone.
âsanemi,â you warn, but itâs not a warning and both of you know it.
he leans in like the candle pulled him. his shoulder nudges yours, his knee presses to the side of your thigh under the table. his mouth finds the shell of your ear where the perfume sits warm. âkeep doing that,â he whispers, words a scrape that sinks straight down your spine, âand iâm going to take you home and make you say please.â
your chest squeezes. your pulse trips hard enough to send a ripple through the tea. you set the cup down before you wear it. he doesnât move away. you can feel the smile in his voice when he adds, softer, âsay you understand.â
âi understand,â you breathe, throat a little raw.
he sits back like he just finished a set, satisfied. âgood,â he says, normal volume again, eyes bright. âfinish your tea.â
and you do
you drain the last of the tea because he told you to. the server ghosts in with a leather folder, and heâs already tucking his card inside before you can reach. you stand; the room tilts a degree warmer; the candle breath lingers on your clothes.
the sliding door opens to a corridor hushed and plush underfoot. the city sits outside the glass like a quiet aquarium. youâre aware of everything at onceâyour palms a little damp, the soft cling of your dress at the back of your knees, the thrum low in your belly that makes you feel both light and clumsy. he walks half a step closer than necessary, hand on the small of your back.
turning the corner, you almost run into himâbright hair, broad grin, warmth that arrives before the man does. âsanemi!â kyojuro booms, voice a sunburst. his presence fills the hall like incense.
sanemiâs mouth tilts. âoi. working, are you?â kyojuroâs eyes sweep once, landing on you with instant curiosity and something gentler under it. before he can aim a question, sanemi says it clean, no hesitation: âthis is my date.â
you feel the word land in your body like a stone dropped into waterâshock, rings, a settling you didnât realize you were waiting for. kyojuro goes stunned-bright, then delighted. he claps sanemi on the back hard enough to make the jacket shift. âexcellent! proud of you!â itâs too loud. he turns to you, softer. âweâll take good care of you any time youâre here.â
heat climbs your throat; you smile because anything else would fall apart. âthank you,â you manage. âback to the fires!â kyojuro announces, already backing toward the kitchen door like he's guy fieri. he throws you both one more beam of approval and vanishes in a wash of light and stainless noise.
the hall goes quiet again. your pulse does not. sanemi angles closer, hand hovering at the small of your back once more before settling there for one steady second, warm through the fabric. âcâmon,â he says, low, guiding you toward the lobby. the carpetâs nap strokes your ankles, the perfume of cedar and char trails after you, the city hums louder the nearer you get to the door. you are acutely aware of your breathing, of the way your thighs brush when you walk, of the tiny tremor hiding in your fingers when you hook them into his elbow for balance you donât actually need. he glances down at thatâat youâand something satisfied sparks in his eyes like heâs reading every line your body is writing.
the host nods you past with a knowing smile. outside the glass the night is slick and soft, all reflections and tail lights, the kind of air that cools your skin and does nothing for the heat underneath. he holds the door; the city exhales on your face; your heartbeat answers it, quick and useless and wanting
the sidewalk is washed in soft gold. families drift past with paper bags and strollers, couples fold into each other, the whole street humming like a warm hive. you and him walk close, your reflections trailing in the restaurant windows. the night air cools your cheeks and does nothing for the heat in your chest. you can feel your pulse in your wrists, in your mouth, in the place where his hand might land if he reached.
his car waits under a halo of a streetlamp. he opens the passenger door and the dome light blooms pale. you move to sit, then his fingers catch lightly at your wrist and guide you back up. a small tug, steady and sure. time slips thin for a second.
âhey,â he says, quietly. his eyes search your face and then soften into a decision. you feel it before it happens.
he leans in and kisses you.
it is careful and deepening at the edges. his mouth is warm and sure, tasting faintly of tea and sugar, the breath between you sweet and steady. your hands find his jacket without thinking. his free hand slides to your waist, a fit like it was always supposed to be there, fingers spanning the fabric, holding and not holding at once.
your heart goes wild. a quick patter against his chest when you lean closer, the drum of it echoing in your throat. you feel his answer, the rhythm under your palms, steadier but no less loud. the street keeps moving around you and somehow it all dims to the circle of light and the scent of cologne and your perfume waking up on your skin.
he breaks just enough to breathe, lips still close to yours, smile pressed small and crooked. âbeen wanting to do that all night,â he admits, almost a whisper. âme too,â you say, and it sounds like a promise.
he kisses you again, softer. when he draws back this time, his forehead rests against yours for a beat. you can feel the hitch of his breath and the tiny laugh caught in it like you surprised him with your yes.
âget in,â he murmurs, voice low, thumb tracing a slow line at your waist that makes your knees feel jelly. âbefore i keep you standing here and the families call security.â
you slide into the seat with your pulse still bright in your ears. he closes the door gently, the glass catching a last look at his mouth as he rounds the hood. when he settles behind the wheel, you both sit in the soft quiet for a half second, smiling.
streetlight maps flicker across the windshield as he pulls away from the curb. the radio murmurs low. your mouth still tastes like him and sugar. he drives one-handed for a block, the other resting easy on the console like itâs waiting.
âwhat do you want to do,â he asks, not casual exactly, more like heâs lining up a lift and wants your count. his eyes stay on the road. you can feel him listening.
you breathe out a laugh that shakes a little. âwe could go to yours,â you say, brave before you can talk yourself out of it. âor mine.â a beat. âiâm good with either.â
his mouth tips, pleased and a little undone. âiâd love to.â then, like he is choosing the simplest path, âcome to mine.â
the light turns green. his hand leaves the console and lands on your thigh, warm through the dress, fingers spreading like he is checking form. he doesnât look away from the road when he says it. âpretty sure iâve hinted it already,â his thumb tracing a small arc that makes your breath catch, âbut iâm into you.â
your pulse goes bright. âyeah?â it comes out softer than you planned.
âyeah.â his grip is gentle, sure. âbeen into you since you told me that stunt was art.â a quick grin. âand since before that.â
you lay your hand over his, press him closer. the city slides by in little squares of light. your knee leans into his fingers. his thumb keeps that steady, absentminded stroke like heâs memorizing you for later.
â
he pulls into a marked spot like heâs done it a thousand times, kills the engine, and your breath has nowhere to hide. outside, the lot is quiet, lights turning the pavement soft gold. he gets out first and is already opening the passenger door by the time you reach for the handle. that little care undoes you more than the kiss did.
his hand finds yours for the walk in. the building smells faintly like laundry and rain. the elevator hums. your fingers stay laced until he needs them to punch his floor and then he takes them back like he didnât want to let go. at his door he keys in, shoulder easy, and the lock clicks. the place opens warm. a candle that smells like cedar and soap, a couch that has clearly held him after long days, a tidy stack of weights near a bookshelf like he canât help himself. framed photos on a low console: his brother grinning with a crooked barbell, a group shot of loud men at a beach, one older photo of a woman smiling with her hand on his shoulder. throw pillows in a polite pattern. a small fern that is thriving against all odds.
âitâs nice,â you say, stepping out of your shoes at the entry. the rug is soft. your toes thank you.
he toes his sneakers off beside yours, shrugs out of his jacket, and drapes it over a chair. thereâs a tiny pink floral embroidery on one of the pillows that gives the game away and you bite a grin.
âyour mom helped,â you tease, soft so it lands kind.
he snorts, caught. âyeah yeah. i told her it sucked and kept it anyway.â a hand to the back of his neck, sheepish in a way you donât get to see at the gym. âshe brought a box and messed with it till it looks like this. i went out when she did it.â
âshe did good,â you say, running a finger over the neat stitch on the pillow. âdonât tell her i said that. sheâll get ideas.â
âtoo late,â he says, but heâs smiling. âwater? tea? something cold?â
âwaterâs good,â you say, taking in the tiny details while he moves in the kitchen. the quiet hum of the fridge. the way he opens cabinets without looking. the soft slide of a drawer. your heart finally starts to slow and then spikes again when he comes back, two glasses in one hand, the other landing with easy familiarity at the small of your back as he guides you toward the couch.
you sip water because your mouth forgot how to be normal. he tips his glass toward yours in a quiet clink and settles deeper, arm along the back of the couch, wrist a breath from your shoulder.
âso⊠kyojuro,â you start, curiosity finally catching up. âwhatâs his deal besides being the human version of a sunrise.â
sanemi huffs, fond despite himself. âchildhood friend. comes from money. loud as hell. half deaf from being an idiot around fireworks as a kid.â his mouth kicks up. âchef now. real good.â
âthat tracks,â you say, smiling into the rim of your glass. âhe looked proud.â
âhe was prouder of the food,â sanemi mutters, then relents with a shrug. âyeah. heâs⊠good people.â
you ask little things and he indulges you, the rough edges of his voice going rounded while he talks: summer bikes, scraped knees, stealing fruit from a neighborâs tree, getting caught, getting fed anyway. you listen, turned toward him without noticing, knee drawing up onto the cushion, dress slipping warm over your thigh. somewhere in the middle of a story about a busted car stereo and a beach, you realize youâve both drifted closer, easy as breathing.
when the story runs out, the silence that lands isnât empty. his arm is still along the couch back, hand near your shoulder. your knee touches his. itâs a soft, steady contact that feels like a question mostly answered.
you glance at his mouth. he sees it. the corner of his lip pulls slow, pleased, dangerous. he leans in a fraction, breath skimming your cheek. âwhat game are we playing?â he asks, low, amused, like he already knows and wants you to say it anyway.
your heart jumps. âiââ you whisper. he closes the last inch and kisses you, unhurried but sure, mouth fitting yours like it remembered how from the car and wanted more. his hand slides from the couch to cradle the side of your neck, thumb a slow stroke under your jaw that asks and answers at the same time. you make a sound you didnât plan. he swallows.
when he breaks for breath, he stays close, forehead tipping to yours. âagain?â he murmurs, like heâs checking your form and your pulse at once. âagain,â you breathe.
his thumb still strokes under your jaw when he pulls back from your mouth, just enough to look at you. the lamp light catches his eyes in that way that always makes you forget to breathe. heâs close enough that you can taste his words when he says them.
âyou know how hard it was not to drag you out of that restaurant,â he mutters, like a confession slipped raw. âthat dressââ his eyes travel down and back up slow, purposeful, ââwas unfair. had me chewinâ my cheek just to keep my hands still.â
you start to laugh, nervous, but he tilts your chin higher and his smile cuts sharp. âdonât laugh. i mean it. you walked in looking like you knew iâd lose my head over you.â
your skin heats all the way down your throat. âi didnâtââ
âyeah, you did,â he interrupts softly, but thereâs no sting in it. âand you were right.â he kisses you again, quick, then pulls back before you can chase him. âyouâre driving me crazy.â
his hand leaves your jaw, drifts down the line of your throat, and rests heavy but careful over your sternum, right where your heart drums. âhear that? i put that there. thatâs mine tonight.â
he pauses then, eyes flicking back up to yours, serious under all the roughness. âcan i say what i want? call you what i want? iâll stop if you donât like it.â
your breath catches. âyes,â you whisper, shaky but sure. âi want you to.â
the crooked grin that breaks over his mouth looks half-wild, half-relieved. he leans in close again, his voice right at your ear, low and burning. âgood girl.â
your whole body goes taut, your fingers fisting in his shirt before you can think better of it.
he feels it. he hears it. his laugh is a rumble against your jaw, not mocking, just thrilled. âyeah. that. i could get drunk off that sound.â
he kisses the side of your throat, not biting, just pressing his mouth there, marking his spot. âyou make me want to ruin every other dress you own,â he mumbles, his restraint clear in how slowly his hands are moving, every touch placed, nothing rushed.
his mouth lingers at your throat, lips brushing your pulse like heâs testing how fast it can go. you tip your head back, helpless, and thatâs when his hands shiftâone firm at your hip, the other sliding beneath your knees.
âup,â he says, almost a growl, and before you can answer heâs lifting you. itâs so easy for him it makes your chest cave in. your gasp breaks against his shoulder as your arms instinctively loop around his neck.
âyou weigh nothing,â he mutters into your hair, like heâs scolding you and worshipping you in the same breath. âyou think i donât notice how light you are in my arms? i could carry you like this all night.â
you press your face against his collarbone, dizzy from the steadiness of his stride as he walks you down the short hall. the world tilts with the sway of each step, your heart hammering in sync with his.
he nudges his bedroom door open with his foot, the faint smell of a masculine lotion trailing in. the bed is wide, sheets dark and smoothed, a single pillow crooked from earlier. he lowers you onto it with deliberate care, like setting something precious down.
but he doesnât climb on top of you yet. he stays standing, fingers hooked at his waistband, eyes roaming every inch of you laid out in the dress heâs been thinking about since dinner. the look on his face is more sinful than hungryâthough the hunger is there, tight at the corners of his mouth.
âyou donât even know,â he says, voice low, roughened. âyou donât know what you did to me in that dress. had me bitinâ my tongue all night just so i wouldnât embarrass myself.â
his hand drags over his jaw, frustrated and awed at once. then he catches your gaze again, sharp and direct. âsay it back,â he tells you, softer now. âtell me you knew what you were doing.â
your lips part, breath shaky. âi⊠mightâve known,â you admit.
he exhales like that was the only answer he wanted. then finally, finally, he lowers onto the bed, bracing on one arm beside your head, the other hand cupping your cheek. âgood girl,â he whispers again, kissing you slow, the praise heavy and molten between every press of his mouth.
he props himself above you, thumb dragging slow over the neckline, tugging the fabric just enough to make you feel the stretch. his eyes burn over every inch the dress clings to.
âyou know whatâs killing me?â he rasps, nose brushing your temple as his voice drops into your skin. âthisââ his fingers pinch a fold at your shoulder strap, ââthis damn dress. the way it hugs you. the way you sat across from me in that little booth like you didnât notice me staring at every inch of you.â
your breath stutters when he trails his hand lower, palm flattening over your waist. âyou wore it knowing iâd lose it, didnât you,â he pushes, mouth brushing the corner of your lips.
you shake your head, trying for denial, but it comes out weak. âi didnâtââ
âliar,â he murmurs, grinning against your mouth, hungry but patient. âdonât care. i love it. love the way you look in it. love the way you make me want to tear it off.â
his hands shift lower, tugging at the hem. you catch his wrists, trying to slow him, breathless. âsanemiââ
he freezes for a beat, watching your face, eyes sharp. âyou fighting me?â he asks, and the grin that spreads is sharp-edged, full of thrill. âyou think thatâs gonna stop me?â
you try to hold your ground, pushing lightly at his forearms. he doesnât push harderâhe waits, shoulders taut, eyes fixed on yours.
âevery time you push back,â he growls, voice shaking with control, âyou just make me want you more.â
his mouth crashes back onto yours, kiss deeper now, almost ragged. your grip on his arms falters, melts, and he uses the chance to work the dress higher, inch by inch, whispering between kisses: âso beautiful. every damn part of you. iâll say it a hundred times if i have to.â
the fabric slides, slow, over your hips, your ribs, your shouldersâeach inch leaving you more undone. he pulls back just enough to watch, lavender eyes molten as the straps slip down your arms.
âthatâs it,â he murmurs, low and wrecked. âlet me see you..â
he finally dips lower, tongue dragging a deliberate stripe just shy of your center, and your whole body jolts. he laughs under his breath, the sound low and smug against your skin. âfuck, youâre jumpy,â he mutters, kissing the spot he just teased. âgonna make a mess on my face before iâve even started.â
his thumbs press deeper into your hips, steadying you as he shifts closer, broad shoulders clasped against your thighs until you canât close them even if you wanted to. he licks you slow, one long stroke that makes your head tip back, and then he does it again, firmer, savoring the way you gasp for him.
âsweet,â he groans, voice breaking against you. âtastes even better than i thought you would.â
your hand knots in his hair, tugging without meaning to, and instead of pulling back he moans into you, the vibration running straight through your belly. the sound tears a helpless whimper from you and he grins, feral and pleased.
âthatâs it,â he says, nose bumping your clit as he speaks, hot breath spilling over you. âkeep talkinâ to me like that. let me hear every fuckinâ sound.â
his mouth closes around your clit in a sudden, wet pull, and your hips buck before you can stop them. he pins you down with a growl, one hand leaving your hip just long enough to slide under, dragging you closer to his mouth like he canât get enough. his tongue circles tight and fast, then slows, then speeds again, unpredictable and devastating.
youâre babbling his name now, thighs trembling against his jaw, but he just eats it up, literally, groaning like your arousal is feeding him. âyeah, pretty,â he praises, voice ragged, tongue pressing harder. âso fuckinâ good for me. donât stopâgive me all of it.â
your back arches off the seat, body strung taut as the tension spirals higher and higher, and he doesnât let up. doesnât give you an inch. his mouth is locked on you, relentless, until youâre shaking, crying out brokenly, and the orgasm rips through you so hard it leaves you clinging to his hair, thighs closing around his ears.
he stays with you, licking you through it, groaning at every shudder like itâs his own pleasure. when you finally sag back, gasping, he pulls away just enough to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, grinning up at you with wild, hazy eyes.
âfuck,â he says, voice rough, lips shining. âlook at you. prettiest fuckinâ thing iâve ever seen.â
he drags his mouth higher, leaving hot, messy kisses up your belly, over the fabric of your dress still bunched at your waist. his hand stays between your legs, two fingers stroking lazy, steady circles through your slick folds until your hips are jerking against his palm. âyouâre fuckinâ soaked,â he mutters against your ribs, tongue flicking over your skin before he bites. âall that just from my mouth? youâve been dying for me to ruin you, huh.â
you whimper, the sound spilling out before you can stop it, and his grin sharpens against your skin. he slides a finger inside you, slow but unrelenting, watching your face as you clutch at his shoulders.
âhear that?â he asks, voice low, ear tilted toward the obscene sound of your body taking him in. âtight little cunt begging for more.â another finger joins the first and you gasp, back arching. he kisses your sternum, then your collarbone, dragging his teeth along the line.
âsanemiââ his name cracks on your tongue, and he laughs, curling his fingers until youâre clenching down so hard your thighs tremble.
âsay it again,â he orders, fucking you slow with his hand. âsay my fuckinâ name when you fall apart.â you moan it for him, shameless now, hips grinding into his hand as his mouth climbs higher, finally catching yours in a kiss thatâs all teeth and heat, nothing sweet about it.
he breaks it only to murmur against your lips, rough and sure, âi like things rough. iâm gonna fuck you till your legs give out. you think you can handle that?â your whole body shudders, and the yes that comes out is a breathless moan, your walls clenching tight around his fingers.
âgood girl,â he growls. his mouth is still on yours, hot and hungry, when he pulls back just enough to mutter, âbeen watchinâ you at the gym, yâknow. all that work youâve been puttinâ in.â his fingers never stop moving inside you, dragging slick and tight, thumb teasing over your clit until youâre whimpering against him. âfuckinâ proud of you. strong, pretty thing⊠look at you now.â
he shifts back, yanks his shirt over his head in one rough motion, tossing it aside. your eyes canât help but roam â broad shoulders, scars cutting across muscle, chest rising hard and fast with every breath. he smirks when he sees the way youâre staring, veins standing out down his arms as he hooks his thumb into the waistband of his joggers.
âcâmon,â he says, voice rough, dragging the fabric down just enough to free his cock. thick, flushed, already heavy in his hand. he strokes once, lazy, then grabs your wrist and brings your palm to him. âyou worked for this too. go on. feel how bad you got me.â
your fingers curl instinctively, wrapping around him, and the hiss that leaves his throat is filthy. you stroke him, slow, testing, and your lips part as the reality of his size sets in.
âsanemi⊠youâre huge,â you breathe, awe and heat tangled in your voice. âi didnât thinkââ he cuts you off with a sharp grin, hand covering yours, guiding your strokes tighter, faster. âyeah? well, itâs all yours. every fuckinâ inch.â his forehead tips to yours, his voice dropping lower, rougher. âuse it how you like. iâll give it to you however you want it.â
your thumb swipes over the leaking tip and he groans, hips twitching against your grip, eyes fluttering closed. âfuckâjust like that. strong hands. knew youâd look good strokinâ me off.â
the way he praises you â raw, unfiltered â makes your belly clench, heat pooling low and heavy, the thought of what comes next making you wetter around nothing. your hand works him slow at first, testing his weight, then faster when his hips twitch and his breath turns ragged. his cock is hot and heavy in your palm, veins thick under your grip, precum already slicking your fingers. every time your thumb circles the head he groans low, the sound punching out of him like he couldnât hold it in if he tried.
âfuck, youâre good at that,â he pants, head tipping back, jaw tight. âlook at youâmy strong little slut jerkinâ me off like you own it.â
the praise makes your thighs clench, and before you even realize it, youâre leaning down, lips parting, the taste of salt and heat already on your tongue. you press a messy kiss to the tip, licking the bead of precum from him, and his whole body jolts.
âshit,â he groans, fist clenching in the fabric bunched at your waist. âyou tryna kill me? fuckinâ knew youâd be filthy for me.â
you take him in deeper, your spit mixing with the slick already there, and the wet sounds echo loud in the room. his hand fists in your hair, just holding, eyes glued to the way your lips stretch around him.
you gag once when he hits the back of your throat, and the noise makes his hips buck. âyeah, thatâs it. fuckâmessy little thing, droolinâ all over me. look so good with my cock down your throat.â
spit dribbles down your chin, coating your hand as you stroke what you canât fit, pumping him in time with the way you swallow around him. the gurgling sounds fill the air, obscene, and heâs watching every second, chest heaving, abs tight.
âgood slut,â he rasps, hips rolling shallow into your mouth. âmakinâ me lose my fuckinâ mind. keep goinâ, pretty. donât stop.â
his thighs tense under your hands, his whole body writhing with every wet glide of your mouth. eyes watering, spit stringing from your lips when you pull back to breathe. he groans at the sight, yanking you back down, voice breaking.
âfuckâlook at this mess youâre makinâ.â
his grip tightens in your hair, knuckles white, eyes blown wide as he stares down at you. his voice comes out shredded, almost a plea.
âcan iââ his chest heaves, words catching on a groan, ââcan i fuck your throat?â
your stomach flips, heat crawling up your spine, and you nod fast, saliva still dripping down your chin. your voice is a whisper against the wet head of his cock. âyes. fuckâyes, sanemi. do it.â
his jaw locks, pupils blown, like heâs barely hanging on. âgood girl,â he rasps, thumb stroking over your cheek before he angles your face up. âopen wide for me.â
you do, lips stretched, tongue out, thankful to the gods your uvula was removed years ago because the second he pushes forward, thick and heavy, he sinks all the way in. thereâs no gag, just the stretch, the slick slide, and the obscene sound of him burying himself in your throat.
he groans like itâs breaking him, head thrown back, every muscle in his chest and stomach tightening. âfuckâholy shit. youâre takinâ me so deep. throatâs squeezinâ me like you were made for it.â
his hips start moving, shallow at first, then harder, fucking your mouth with sharp, desperate thrusts. each time his cock drags out and pushes back in, your spit strings and gurgles, loud and messy, coating your chin and soaking down his length.
your hands clutch at his thighs, nails digging into hard muscle, and the sight of youâtearstreaked, spit-drunk, lips swollen around himâmakes his moans unravel into broken curses. âfuck, fuck, fuckâyou look so good like this. my filthy little slut lettinâ me use your throat. jesus, iâmââ
he grips your hair tighter, controlling the pace, hips snapping as his cock slides in and out of the wet heat of your throat, slick and obscene. you moan around him, vibrations making his knees almost buckle.
âshit, keep doinâ that,â he groans, hips stuttering, eyes rolling back. âyouâre gonna make me lose itâfuckâyouâre perfect, takinâ me all the way down like that.â
your throat spasms around him, swallowing him deeper, and he lets out a guttural moan, hips jerking uncontrollably now, completely unraveling in your mouth.
his moans break ragged as his hips snap one last time, cock buried deep in your throat. hot ropes of cum spill straight down and you swallow fast, messy, grateful you can take it all. he groans at the sight of your throat working for him, curses spilling through clenched teeth, âfuckâswallow itâgood girl, take all of it.â
when he finally pulls out, a string of spit and cum stretches from your lips to the flushed head before breaking. you gulp down the last of him and lick your swollen lips, eyes glassy. he stares like youâve wrecked him, chest heaving, before heâs grabbing you under the arms and hauling you up against his body.
âgood fuckinâ girl,â he pants, voice rough with awe. âjesusâyouâre perfect.â
you barely have time to catch your breath before heâs lifting you clean off your knees, carrying you like you weigh nothing yet again. his eyes spot the bed and drops down into it with you straddling him, still dizzy from the way he used your throat.
your thighs spread over his, your body pressed tight to his scarred chest. his cock, still wet and heavy, slips right between your slick thighs as you settle down. the head drags against your folds and both of you groan at the same time, the sound filthy, needy.
you grind down instinctively, the length of him sliding along your soaked slit, catching at your clit each pass. his big hands clamp to your ass, guiding you back and forth, groaning every time the tip nudges higher.
âthatâs it,â he mutters, forehead pressed to yours, eyes wild and hazy. âfuckinâ knew youâd ride me like this. so wetâalready makinâ a mess on my cock.â
you whimper, rocking faster, smearing your slick all over him, thighs trembling as he praises you with every breath.
âlook at you,â he groans, kissing your jaw, your cheek, your ear, filthy and sweet all at once. âso pretty sittinâ on me. good girlâmy good girlâgonna let me fuck you stupid next, huh?â
his cock keeps slipping and sliding between your thighs, soaking in your heat, teasing your entrance with every pass until youâre clinging to him, flushed and whining into his shoulder while he murmurs every filthy piece of praise he can think of.
âstrong. gorgeous. filthy. â he rocks you harder, voice breaking. âuse me. ruin me. take every fuckinâ inch when youâre ready.â
you shift your hips just right, and the next slide of his cock isnât between your thighs but pushing inside you, stretching you open until you can barely breathe. the sound that rips from your throat is half a moan, half a sob, nails clawing at his shoulders as you sink all the way down.
âfuck,â he groans, head falling back, jaw locked tight. âtight as hellâfuckinâ knew youâd feel like this.â
the stretch has your legs shaking, your body trembling, but the second you adjust, youâre moving, bouncing on his cock fast and sloppy, desperate to chase the ache blooming low in your stomach.
âwhoa, whoaââ his hands shoot to your hips, gripping bruises into your skin. âslow the fuck down, sweetheartâyouâre gonna make me cum in thirty seconds.â
but you canât stop, thighs burning as you ride him hard, babbling nonsense into his chest. âs-so bigâsanemiâitâs too muchâitâs too muchâoh my godââ
your voice cracks into broken little sobs, but your body wonât let up, clenching around him, pulling him deeper with every drop of your hips. your head tips back, mouth open and eyes glassy, tears pricking at the corners from the sheer overwhelming stretch.
âshhh,â he rasps, wrapping an arm tight around your waist, pinning you down so he can slow the pace. his thrusts turn harsh, deep, dragging every inch of him inside you slow enough youâre crying with the pressure. âthere you go. breathe, baby. let me fuckinâ take care of you.â
he kisses your wet cheek, even as his hips roll up into you with punishing depth. âi know itâs a lot. know youâre stuffed full. look at youâbabblinâ like a fucked-out mess already.â
your nails dig into his chest, your voice a wrecked whine against his ear. âsa..nemiâtoo muchâi canâtââ
his growl vibrates against your throat as he sucks a bruise there. âyes you can. youâre takinâ it. takinâ all of me like a good slut. fuckinâ perfect on my cock. cry for me, babyâlemme see how pretty you look when you break.â
his grip on your hips tightens suddenly, and before you can blink heâs got you lifted, flipped, and pinned flat to the pillow below. your back hits the sheets, warm from his body; he stays between your thighs, cock still buried to the hilt, never letting you go. the change in angle has you gasping, legs already trembling.
âmine,â he growls, voice low and hoarse against your ear. âiâm the only man youâll ever remember beinâ with after iâm done with you.â
he drags your ankles up, sets them high on his shoulders, palms sliding down your calves as he folds you in half beneath him. the stretch makes you whimper, nails raking his arms, but he just shushes you with a rough kiss, tongue sliding against yours as he rolls his hips slow once, then again, deep enough to make you see stars.
âfuck.â he mutters softly, eyes dark as his free hand slides from your knee up over your belly, between your breasts, until it finds your throat. his fingers curl there, not squeezing, just holding, thumb stroking the hollow as if to remind you heâs in control, youâre safe. âright here. iâve got you.â
then he starts to move, hard and steady, each thrust deeper, driving you into the sheets beneath until youâre clawing at it. the new angle hits that spot over and over, your body jerking with each stroke, tears spilling from the corners of your eyes.
âthatâs it,â he murmurs, watching your face, thumb still on your throat. âtake it. let me fuck you the way youâve been begginâ for. gonna push you past it. gonna make you come again and again âtil you forget your own name.â
your moans turn to broken little cries, your body arching off the bed, clenching around him so hard it makes him snarl. he keeps going, sweat dripping down his temples, eyes locked on yours as your legs tremble against his shoulders.
âlook at you,â he grits out, thrusting harder. âshakinâ⊠still takinâ me. such a good fuckinâ girl. you like this? like me stretchinâ you open, stuffinâ you full?â
you nod, words lost, only a wrecked whimper spilling out. his hand squeezes your throat just enough to make you gasp, thumb tilting your chin so youâre forced to look at him.
âsay it,â he demands, hips snapping. âtell me you like it. tell me youâre mine.â
the world goes white at the edges, the deep drag of his cock and the weight of his hand on your throat tipping you into another wave, pleasure so sharp itâs almost pain. he groans, hips grinding deep as your walls flutter around him, and his voice drops to a rough whisper, âgood girl⊠come for me again. iâve got you. right here.â
he pulls out with a sharp groan, fisting his cock tight and stroking fast until hot ropes spill across your stomach, sticky warmth marking you as his. his chest heaves, muscles trembling as he jerks the last drops out, groaning at the sight of your skin painted with him.
youâre shaking beneath him, eyes glassy, sounds breaking out of you without form. âit feels so good,â you babble, voice torn between moans and whimpers, thighs trembling around nothing. âoh my godâânemiâit feels so fucking good.â
his expression softens for a blink, pride cutting through the rough haze. he cups your cheek with one messy hand, leaning down to kiss your temple. âmy beautiful princess,â he murmurs against your skin, his voice ragged but full of awe. âtook me so well. so fuckinâwell.â
but heâs not done. before you can catch your breath, he flips you over, pressing you down into the softness of the covers. your ass is lifted in an instant, his hands firm on your hips as he lines himself up again.
ânot finished with you yet,â he growls, dragging the head of his cock through your slick folds before pushing back inside in one deep, ruthless thrust.
you cry out, body arching, already too sensitive, clenching around him so hard he snarls. his hand tangles in your hair, yanking gently but firmly, pulling your head back until your eyes meet his upside-down.
âlook at me,â he orders, voice low and dangerous, hips snapping against you with obscene force. âkeep your eyes on me while i fuck you.â
your back bows, every thrust sending shockwaves through your overstimmed body. your arms shake where they brace against the headboard, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as his cock drives deep, relentless.
âgood girl,â he pants, yanking your hair a little tighter, curving your spine just the way he wants. âthatâs it, princessâlet me see your pretty face while i ruin you again.â
the slapping rhythm of his hips against your ass fills the room, his grunts hot in your ear each time he leans closer, every thrust dragging you higher into the haze.
âyou feel that?â he growls, his hand sliding from your hair to the base of your throat, holding you upright while he pounds into you. âyouâre mine. every inch of this perfect bodyâmine.â
your voice breaks, pleading and moaning his name, but he only fucks you harder, lips curling into a feral grin as you fall apart for him all over again. your voice is wrecked, breaking on his name with every thrust. âsâsanemiâoh godââ itâs all you can get out, the sound high and desperate, and it makes his hips stutter, his grip tighten on your hair.
âfuckââ his voice is ragged, torn from his chest. âwhere do you want it, huh? tell me where you want me to cum.â
you try, you really do, but your brainâs gone static, your body trembling too hard around him. the words wonât come, only a whimper, a moan that melts into his name again.
his jaw clenches, eyes squeezing shut as his pace falters, hips grinding deep as he loses it. âshitâtoo lateââ
with a guttural groan, he buries himself to the hilt and cums inside you, hot and thick, filling you until it spills over, his forehead pressed against yours as his body shudders through it.
he doesnât move right away, just breathes hard, chest heaving against your back, then eases you down, soft now, protective. his hands find your face, tilting you toward him, his lips capturing yours in a messy, desperate kiss.
you kiss him back, clinging, tasting the salt of his sweat and the faint copper of his bitten lip, the world still buzzing around you.
âmy girl,â he pants against your mouth, kissing you again, slower this time. âperfect. youâre fuckinâ perfect.â
his thrusts slow, tapering off until heâs just holding you, kissing you like he canât quite let go. when he finally eases out, his spend slips warm between your thighs, and he presses a palm to your lower belly like heâs grounding you.
youâre trembling under him, voice thin and wrecked when you whisper, âsanemiâŠâ
he kisses your forehead, softer than you thought he was capable of, and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. âeasy,â he murmurs, thumb stroking your cheek. âyou did so fuckinâ good for me.â
he sits back, still breathing hard, watching you struggle to settle. the rough edge in his expression fades, something gentler cutting through as he cups your jaw. âhow about a bath, huh? hot waterâll help your muscles. and iâm not leavinâ you a mess like this.â
your lashes flutter, exhaustion tugging at you, and you manage a small, broken smile. âyes, please,â you breathe, weak and sweet, like you can barely get the words out.
his chest tightens at the sound, and his grin softens into something real. âthatâs my girl,â he says, kissing your temple again.
he scoops you up easily, one arm under your knees, the other around your back, carrying you bridal-style toward the bathroom. youâre limp against him, cheek pressed to his chest, and heâs careful with every step, lowering you like youâre made of glass.
when he sets you down on the edge of the tub, he smilesâno smirk, no wicked edge, just kind, open pride. âiâll run it warm.â
he kneels in front of the tub, one hand on the tap, the other slipping right back between your thighs like he never left. the water starts to run, steam curling up, but your attentionâs already snagged on the way his fingers slide into you, slow and deep, pushing past the mess he left inside.
you whimper, knees parting wider on instinct, and he groans low in his chest. âfuckâlook at that. still so wet for me. still takinâ me so good.â his eyes flick up to your face, watching your mouth fall open, the little tremble of your lashes.
âsanemi,â you breathe, giggling through a moan, your body jerking when his thumb brushes your clit. âyouâre supposed to be running the bath.â
âi am,â he argues, though his voice is wrecked, rough around the edges. he curls his fingers just right and your laugh catches into a gasp. âiâm multitasking.â
you slap weakly at his shoulder, dissolving into another moan when he pushes deeper. âyouâre unbelievable.â
he leans in and kisses your thigh, his stubble scratching warmly against your skin. âyeah, well, i canât keep my fuckinâ hands off you.â his mouth presses higher, lips catching at the sensitive skin near your hip. âsorry, princess. youâre just too good. i lose my head every time i touch you.â
your giggles melt into whines, your hips grinding helplessly against his hand. âgodânemiââ
âthatâs it,â he praises, curling his fingers faster, his breath hot against your skin. âpretty little thingâstill flutterinâ around me. canât stop even if i tried.â
he kisses your stomach as his pace quickens, eyes heavy with hunger and devotion both. âlet me hear you, baby.â
the bath keeps filling, water sloshing, but all you can hear is his voice, his praise, the wet sound of his fingers working you open again.
NEXT CHAPTER SOON! :)
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