Hi, just read your fic and fell in love with it. You are one of my favorite writers and I love how you did justice to Will, but also to every other character. I like when their reactions are based on who they are as individuals and not what reaction they should have to make the plot move forward, if that makes sense, and I think you do that perfectly.
I was wondering, what do you think about Mike’s psychology? I mean, in the show I feel like he is one of the most confusing characters, partly due to bad writing/inconsistencies (and maybe the fact I am so different than him that I can’t relate to him at all, so he remains an enigma for me), but in your fic, what did you have in mind when you wrote him? How does he rationalize his decisions and his relationships with El and Will? Is he conscious of his feelings for Will, even if he doesn’t necessarily categorize it as romantic right away? I have always been curious about how Mike views Will. And also what Mike thinks about his « it’s not my fault you don’t like girls » s3 fight, as well as his confession to El in s4 (with the whole « my life started when I met you » bullshit, like seriously Michael…right in front of Will?).
Most people say he has internalized homophobia (sometimes erasing Will’s own one in the process), and I guess that would be expected for a boy in the 80s, yet at the same time I feel like Mike just has a severe case of comphet and simply never thought loving a boy was an option for him. Having a girlfriend might make him feel « normal », like he finally can fit in, it’s the easy path much less complicated to walk on. And it doesn’t help that he seems to pretty self unaware (focusing on others instead of doing too much introspection) and seems to be an avoidant to some degree (he seems to withdraw when he cares too much, unless the person he cares for is directly in danger/in need of his help, where he can’t pretend anymore).
I don’t think he would mind being in love with a guy if the guy in question is Will, at least not as much as people tend to think he would. I feel like the problem for Mike has more to do with his personal life: his relationship with El has been forced into the romance category from the start, and maybe he feels like breaking up with her (especially after « confessing his love » to her in s4) feels morally wrong because El went through a lot and ultimately he cares for her and doesn’t want to hurt her? Idk.
I’ve never been good at analyzing characters, and reading what other people think helps me a lot to have a better understanding of them (and I value your take on characters a lot).
Anyway, have a good day, and take all the time you need to write your fic (and enjoy life outside of that as well and stay healthy of course, it’s the most important)<3
oh my god first of all THANK YOU so much for this message 😭
this is such a thoughtful question and also such a beautiful compliment bc one of the things i care about most when writing these characters is making sure their reactions come from who they are, not just what i need them to do for the plot, so it feels so good to know that it is being appreciated HEHE
like, i don’t enjoy when characters are moved around like chess pieces just because the story needs them to suffer or fight or confess or whatever, i want the plot to happen because of who they are, of what they fear, what they want, or what they cannot admit yet
and mike (well at least fanon mike) is SUCH an interesting character to me because i do agree that he can feel confusing in the show, but i also think the pieces are there, they just need to be followed emotionally
for me, the way i write mike and will is that their relationship feels inevitable, but not in a way that removes their choice. it is destiny, yes, but destiny created by choice, like, the first time mike asks will to be his friend, and will says yes, that is the first real decision they make toward each other, u know when youre five its like one of the FIRST moments when you truly have RECOLLECTIONS?? like understand 'decision'?? and like both of their first 'significant choice' was about each other, i think thats just so so BEAUTIFULLLL
i always imagine little mike being terrified before kindergarten and telling karen something like, “what if i can’t make friends? im scared, im not brave enough and karen telling him that the bravest people are the ones who are afraid and still do it anyway.
so mike’s first real act of bravery is asking will byers to be his friend
and for will, who is already this very frightened, very careful child because of lonnie, saying yes is also brave. joyce probably told him something gentle like, “you can give people a chance. if someone asks to be your friend, it’s okay to say yes.” and then he does. he says yes to mike
and to me that is the beginning of them. not just as best friends, or future romance, but as two people whose lives become entangled because they chose each other before they understood anything else
that is why mike’s feelings for will are so complicated to me. i don’t write it as “mike consciously fell in love with will, then panicked, then used el to hide from it.” that is not really how i see him, at least not in the earlier seasons
i think what mike feels for will is so natural to him that he does not question it
of course he worries about him differently. of course he notices him. of course he runs after him. of course will’s pain feels unbearable. of course he knows when something is wrong. of course will can calm him down without having to say much. of course mike can feel, instinctively, when will is hurt or in danger, even if he does not fully understand what is happening
because that has always been there
and this is also where i differ a little bit from some fandom readings of mike. i’ve talked about this before on twitter, but i don’t necessarily feel like i need to define mike with one fixed sexuality label for the relationship to make sense. obviously this is all my own headcanon and my own interpretation, because canon has not confirmed anything cleanly, but mike, on the surface, is a straight-presenting white boy from a well-off family. he is the wealthiest one in the party,he comes from the most conventionally “normal” suburban household, even his outcast status is different because, with mike, he is an outcast largely because he chooses nerdiness, because he is into dnd, because he refuses to fit the exact social script
that is not the same as the others
dustin has a visible disability/medical condition that people notice and mock, lucas is a black kid in a predominantly white suburban town, will is gay, and he also presents in a way that people read as gender nonconforming even before they could possibly know anything about his actual sexuality, there is a reason people target will with homophobic language, they are reading something in him, and punishing him for it,
so if mike is queer, the social consequences of that would not hit him in the same way it has hit will. not because it would be easy, obviously, but because mike has not grown up being targeted in the same specific way. he has heard the slurs. he has been near it. but will was the victim of it
and i think that matters!!
so when people say mike has internalised homophobia, i get where that comes from, but for my mike, it’s less “i know i love a boy and i hate myself for it” and more “i never knew loving a boy was an option i was allowed to consider."
especially because it’s will
and that is the important part for me. i don’t think mike would mind being in love with a guy if the guy is will, not necessarily in a “he doesn’t like guys, he ONLY likes will” way, it’s more that, for mike, the gender comes second. the person comes first. it has never been about liking a category, it has always been about loving will
will has always been mike’s normal
that is the tragedy of it, actually for me, before mike has the language for romance, before he has the language for queerness, before he understands what any of it means, will is just part of the shape of his life. will is there. will is supposed to be there. that is how the world is arranged (which why i see as them as inevitable)
then el comes in, and el fits into the category mike has been taught to recognise
girl. girlfriend. romance. this is what love is supposed to look like. this is the path with a name
and because he does love el in his own way, because he cares about her, because she matters to him, it becomes very easy for him to think: okay. this must be it. this must be what i’m supposed to do.
but the problem is that what he has with will has always been older, deeper, stranger, more instinctive. and because it has always existed, he doesn’t know to categorise it, he doesn’t know that something can be so close to you that you stop recognising it as a choice.
so when he and el get together, and he and will begin drifting apart, THAT is when mike starts to feel the wrongness of it
not immediately like “oh my god i’m in love with him”, BUT more like: wait. why does this feel like losing a limb? why does this feel like the world is no longer where i left it??? why does missing will feel different from missing dustin or lucas?? (SEASON 4 CANON YO) why is this ache so specific??? why does el not fill that space??? why does nobody fill that space??
and i think that is when mike starts to realise that what he feels for will is not just friendship in the same way he loves his other friends, it is more intense, more central, more frightening because of how much IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE
so in S3 the garage fight is so brutal because i think mike says “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” because he is cornered, defensive, ashamed, angry, and terrified of what will is making him feel. will is basically saying, “you are leaving me,” and mike cannot handle that accusation because some part of him knows that will is the person he was never supposed to leave
and then season four. oh michael. michael michael michael....
the “my life started the day i found you in the woods” speech is so painful to me because i don’t think mike even realises the full irony of what he is saying. because in his mind, will is so ingrained in his life that he almost becomes invisible as a beginning, will has always been there, will is part of the foundation, will is the thing mike never thought he could lose (im about to put mike through the WRINGER when he thought he'd lost will to henry, pray for my boy yall!!)
so when mike says that to el, i don’t think it means he never loved will or that will does not matter, i think it means mike is trying to perform the answer he thinks will save el, he is being pushed into the role of boyfriend, saviour, the boy who says the right words at the right time. and because el is in danger, because everyone is desperate, because mike’s entire brain is wired around not failing the people he loves, he says what he thinks he has to say
which makes it worse, ofc because mike had told him that asking him to be his friend was the best DECISION in his life but then he said his started the day he MET el in the woods???
and with el, the guilt is very real. because he does love her. he cares about her. she has suffered so much., so the idea of hurting her feels monstrous to him. especially after that confession. because mike is someone who attaches morality to loyalty, if he promised something, if he said something, if someone needs him, then leaving feels like failure
and mike’s deepest fear, in my interpretation, is failure
failing will. failing el. failing the party. failing to be brave. failing to be good
so when his feelings for will become unavoidable, the horror is not simply “oh no, i love a boy.” the horror is: what does this do to el? what does this mean about everything i said? what if i have been hurting will this whole time? what if i choose the person i was always meant to choose and that choice still wounds someone i care about? what if i cannot protect anyone from myself?
that is the psychological knot for me, will was mike’s normal before mike understood the world had rules against it
then el became the “normal” path because that's the literal norm, and then will became the disruption, because mike finally started understanding what loving will might cost
and mike is avoidant until someone is in danger. he can ignore his own feelings for a terrifyingly long time, but the second someone he loves is actively threatened, especially will, all the pretending collapses. that is when you see the real mike. the one who runs. the one who does not think. the one who would throw himself between will and anything
SOOO i really don’t think mike would hate loving will once he truly understands it
i think the thing that would destroy him is realising he has loved will this much for so long and still managed to hurt him
and will HAS ALWAYS been the exception to every rule mike thought he understood.....ANYWAYS this became SO LONG but i hope this makes sense 😭 thank you so much for asking because mike’s brain is genuinely such a fascinating little haunted house to me! yahaha
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