Servant Leadership: A Way of Life
ANG PITO KA HUGOT SA PITO KA TUIG NA PAGTUDLO #TeacherPaMore
Have you ever been in love? How did you know you were in love?
The first time I chose teaching, it wasn’t out of love. When I was in Grade Two, my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I said I wanted to be a teacher. You see my aunt was a teacher. All the women on my mother’s side of the family are teachers. After my class, I would stay in my aunt’s classroom and wait for my parents to fetch me. I would watch her and other teachers teach and it looked like a lot of fun. I was one of those kids who thought going to school was fun.
Kasagaran, abi nimo gugma na pero lingaw-lingaw ra diay.
Pero panagsa, abi nimo lingaw- ra pero gugma na diay. #AyawgKumpyansaBes
Think about your organization or advocacy. Where did your affiliation to that cause start? Our stories are not the same and so you may have it differently. But sometimes, we join organizations or advocate for causes in the beginning because our friends are there or we enjoy the activities that come with it. Am I right?
Fast forward to high school, I thought of becoming a nun in second year and then a writer in my third year but when I got to fourth year, I decided to pursue my first love and what I now refer to as my one true love: Teaching. I shared this before but allow me to add to this story. Some of my family members wanted me to either become a medical doctor or a lawyer. There was even one who told me: Timan-i ning adlawa upat ka tuig gikan karun. Magmahay jud ka nganong nag-maestra ka. To clarify, I have a loving family but like all families, every one had a mind of their own. Long story short, I refused to take the entrance exam for the pre-med course they wanted me to take, I got a scholarship and I enrolled myself in Cebu Normal University and took up Education. My parents respected and supported my choice.
True love is not just something you are willing to choose.
It must be something you are willing to fight for. #MuragPokemonLang
Anything you participate in can start out because it was fun, because your friends are there, because it was the only organization you are slightly interested in. I don’t know your story. But I do know you are not here because it was forced upon you. At some point and if you are to be honest, you are here because you choose to be here. You filled up the forms, you paid the fee and you brought yourself here. Looking back, the moment I chose teaching, I also realized that somehow, I chose me as well. Choosing your advocacy is choosing yourself. When you find your advocacy, you somehow find yourself. It’s like finding a piece of you that you did not even know was missing. I felt more whole. I felt more complete. I felt more me. That’s when I knew… I was in love.
As Father Pedro Arrupe puts it, what you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.
Mumata kag sayo, matulog kag dugay, gahinan nimog load, kwarta, kusog ug oras… Nya muingon ka wala ka nahigugma? #IlaraOks
On the first day of class in college, our professor asked us how many of us present were there because it was our choice and sadly only around a half of the class raised their hands. Without fail, to this day, I ask this question and on an average, I still get this level of response from my students. The reasons could vary from other people choosing this degree program for them or that this is what their parents could afford. In CNU, students in the College of Teacher Education pay only around 3,000 pesos because they are scholars of the government and some are “forced into teaching”. This is painful to me. It hurts to see something so precious in your eyes be taken for granted by others.
Importante sa imoha. Pero panagsa, sa imoha ra diay. Dila sa ilaha. Dili sa iyaha. #SakitSadEt
You see, it is very difficult to be good at what you do if you do not at the very least like what you are doing. And in the teaching profession, this can be very damaging. Imagine entrusting your children, my children, and our children in the care of people who see it as a chore. And somehow, this became my advocacy. I told myself: every student who enters my classroom will leave it with a new found love for teaching. I wanted to teach people to love teaching and be the best teachers they can be. This experience has made me realize that in our pursuit of purpose, it is not enough to ask, “What do I love?” but it is equally important to really consider what hurts you most in the world. As Frederick Buechner beautifully puts it, God calls you to where your deep gladness and the world’s hunger meet.
Masakitan man ko pero di naku kayang talikdan.
Pirmi, person you love. Pwede sad, purpose in life. #IkawAtIkawPaRin
To this day, I feel excited for the first day of class. I am so weird. One of my students once said that I am her favorite teacher because my eyes twinkle when I teach. My students are so weird. And, we are weird together. And I think that is what I am currently doing with my advocacy. I promote weirdness.
I come to class prepared and I demand my kids to come to class prepared as well but when a student arrives late looking all disheveled, I let him enter anyway. I tell him, we will talk about this later.
I require my kids to speak in English during recitation but when a student’s pronunciation falters and her sentence construction fails her in the process, I ask her to share her ideas anyway. I tell her, we will fix that as we go.
I always look serious in the classroom and that is because I am but when I crack corny jokes and throw waley hugot lines, my kids laugh anyway. Then they tell me… Miss, you are hopeless. Asa jud ang hustisya?
In my class, I make sure my students know that excellence is always pursued and I expect nothing less than their very best. I can look at a student in the eye and tell her: I know you and I know you can top the board exam. This freaks them out. And they tell that I am a source of pressure. I have one student who told me recently, I see your face Miss and automatically, I get very nervous about the LET. The challenge for me as a teacher here is to walk my talk. It is very difficult to be consistent especially on the days when the bravest thing that I can do is to get out of bed in the morning. On some days, it is truly very difficult. Because I am human and though teaching is my vocation, I also have a life outside it. But I tell you, this is one of the easier parts of my job.
The greater challenge for me is to make my students feel that they are welcome in my classroom just the way they are and that together we can grow to be better versions of ourselves. I tell them, if they were so perfect then there would be no need for us to come to school. I had a former student who came up to me one afternoon and asked for “motivation”. I thought she was referring to that part of the lesson plan where you provide the students something interesting to do in order to prepare them for the lesson for the day. But then she started crying. She said she wanted to quit student teaching because she felt she was no good and that even her colleagues were vocal about not believing in her capacity to finish. After telling me her story for about half an hour… I told her, are you trying to say that I was wrong to have let you pass in my subjects before? Did you cheat your way from first year to third year? She was startled by my questions and she said of course not. Did you not work hard to get to where you are today? Did you not learn from all your previous classes? Do you think I am the kind of teacher who lets her students pass out of mercy? She smiled. Then I asked again, who is working hard to put you through school? Who is attending your graduation this March? And then she told me about her parents and her lola who will be coming to the city from the province. And she laughed and added, “Bitaw Miss. ngano maminaw man ko ana nila sa? Akong hunahunaon akong pamilya ug ang mga bata na akong tudloan.” This student just finished student teaching yesterday and I told her that I am very proud of her.
To laugh with, to cry with, to be just beside with, a friend that’s all I need. #FriendzoneBeLike
I think that is what it means to be a teacher. What it means to be a servant-leader. It means you journey with your students and the people you serve. You listen. You talk to them. You ask the difficult questions and you give them space to find their answers. Very much, translating vision into action but not insisting on your version of the vision. I think that it is what it means to be a parent as well. You want your kids to be a certain way but at some point, you have to let them go and allow them to be who they want to become. I have kids who tell me that my class is the only class they look forward to on that day or that they may have small grades but they won’t trade a semester’s worth of experiences with me for a higher one. But don’t get me wrong; I have days when I feel overwhelmed at how there is so much work to do in Education that I just don’t know where to begin. I get frustrated also. But for as long as a teacher continues to:
make mistakes with students and come out of it wiser knowing that most breakthroughs require breakdowns;
push students to the edge of what they have defined to be their limitations and enable them to see that they can be better;
work with students to fix what is broken and together find the courage to let go and replace that which can no longer be saved,;
achieve learning outcomes despite insufficient educational facilities and instructional materials knowing that there is always, always a way to fill that gap,
question the status quo when it gets in the way in ensuring that education remains relevant thus recognizing that yes, “ang mga estudyante karun dili na parehos sa estudyante sauna” but that is not always a bad thing;
recognize how every kid has a story to tell and sometimes all they need is someone who will remind them that they have a voice and if they want to, they could change the world; and
come to class with hair on a hasty ponytail and with barely any make-up on because the endless things to do got in the way but speaks with eyes twinkling as if to tell you this is tiring but I still think it is the best job ever.
Then, I remain hopeful. Actually, these are my seven #hugots. I think our collective dream here is to work for a better Philippines, #ParaSaBayan. In my case, I try to do it just one student at a time, one future teacher at a time. But we do not reap the fruits of our labor right away. It takes time. It takes a lot of time. I have days when I think it is foolish to hope. I quote one of my favorite lines in one of my favorite movies, That Thing Called Tadhana… “Para sa mga umibig, nasaktan, ngunit umibig pa rin. You know, tatanga-tanga.”
To hope on and work for a love that does not seem to amount to anything just yet... Let’s be honest. Kapoy. Kapoy kaayo. Kapoy jud kaayo. Pero naa juy kapoy na worth it. #PilipinasAngHirapMoMahalin #PeroHindiKitaSusukuan
Many things in this world can make fools of us. But if I were to be made a fool, I would choose that it be because I loved. Every servant-leadership story is a love story. And servant-leadership as a way of life means that you choose the path of love. It requires that we die to ourselves so we can better serve others and hopefully leave this world a much better place than we first found it. To end, allow me to share this story from a Jesuit named Anthony De Mello. It’s called “The Diamond.”
The wise man had reached the outskirts of the village and settled down under a tree for the night when a villager came running up to him and said, "The stone! The stone! Give me the precious stone!"
"What stone?" asked the wise man.
"Last night God appeared to me in a dream," said the villager, "And told me that if I went to the outskirts of the village at dusk I should find a wise man who would give me a precious stone that would make me rich forever."
The wise man rummaged in his bag and pulled out a stone. "He probably meant this one," he said, as he handed the stone over to the villager. "I found it on a forest path some days ago. You can certainly have it."
The man gazed at the stone in wonder. It was a diamond, probably the largest diamond in the whole world, for it was as large as a person's head.
He took the diamond and walked away. All night he tossed about in bed, unable to sleep. The next day at the crack of dawn he woke the wise man and said, "Give me the wealth that makes it possible for you to give this diamond away so easily."
My dear young leaders, although dying to one’s self, the concept of choosing always to be a servant first, as noble as it sounds may not feel so appealing to many because it sounds like an invitation to martyrdom. I think it is. But what I have discovered is this kind of “death” is life giving. And though our lives may be diamonds but there is a wealth, not of this Earth that makes it easy to give this diamond away. And I go back to that moment when I found Teaching. When I chose teaching, I also realized that somehow, I chose me as well. Choosing it is choosing myself. When I found Teaching, I somehow found myself. It’s like finding a missing piece of me that I did not even know was missing.
I felt more whole. I feel more whole.
I felt more complete. I feel more complete.
I felt more me. I feel more me.
That’s when I knew… I was in love.
*Delivered during the 4th Cebuano Young Leaders Summit held last October 22, 2016 at the RAFI Kool Adventure Camp, Balamban, Cebu.
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