Renaissance Hustler

Chronicling the peaks and valleys in the life and career of a noble savage

[micxsic]

Morning ride 🚴 📲 🎥 S/O your artist homies 🎨#old4thward Beat by @kreatev @controllerise #streetart #shotonmoment #Pixel2XL #Pixel2 #teamgoogle (at Old Fourth Ward)

[micxsic]

Morning ride 🚴 📲 🎥 S/O your artist homies 🎨#old4thward Beat by @kreatev @controllerise #streetart #shotonmoment #Pixel2XL #Pixel2 #teamgoogle (at Old Fourth Ward)

[micxsic]

The middle word in LIFE is "IF..." A question? A statement! You have to allow yourself to be worth it. To wonder. To dare. The outcome should never be in doubt. Never worry about WHEN it will happen. It's happening right now. All around you. Happiness is now. Success is right now. Appreciate this moment. Stay productive and creative. #RenaissanceHustler

[micxsic]

“I couldn't help but to rap”

When I’m around other hungry emcee’s flexing they lyrical spit on Atlanta airwaves I get the itch to take heads off! Usually, I suppress that feeling, go home, masturbate and go to sleep. Just kidding. I barely sleep! Watch the entire cipher with all the emcees HERE

[micxsic]

The first day at SXSW 2018 was...

Manageable. Filled with free liquor. Familiar faces. Music. Liquor. Did I mention it was free? This was my first opportunity to really put my new phone the Pixel 2 XL paired with a Moment Ultra Wide fisheye to work!

[micxsic]

"What's Real" #LifeRap Ep. 8 Z. Rich and MICXSIC Also available on Spotify and streaming platforms

[micxsic]

Welcome to the shit show: Shady promoters and thirsty rappers at SXSW

[micxsic]

[micxsic]

Everyone wants to be the plug. I'd rather be the outlet

MICXSIC 

[micxsic]

Did anyone else feel like this waking up to a New Year?

January 1st, 2018. I’m laying in bed. Hungover of course. Proudly, i didn't roll over and waste an hour on on my phone scrolling through Facebook and Instagram. Progress! I’m already doing better with time managment. “Baby steps” i say with a smile. But before i can ooze out of bed like a slug off a tree branch - i start to THINK. Bad idea. I overwhelm myself with all these thoughts of what i “should”. You know, “New Year new YOU!”, shit. I picture Jean Claud Van Johnson pointing at me. I start thinking about tomorrow nights jam session and Sundays grand opening of ‘The Arts’, a new event i’m curating (with an amazing team btw!). Will the turn outs be good? Or will everyone still be tapped out from N.Y.E? BTW, you new-to-towners just spent 10X more on the exact same thing you could do on any given weekday in Atlanta.  Anyways, then i start thinking of all the music i have to make. Videos. Promotional material. Etc. That mental taxation brings on a physical burden that i can only describe as a grogginess or head fog. It feels like your brain is sucking at your eyeballs from inside your skull! 

I almost give in. But, I took a second to separate myself from my mind and body and i noticed what was about to happen if i didn't break the cycle. So, i leaped out of bed and jumped in the shower. I took my damn time too. After i got dressed i turned on Soulection Radio on Apple Music and i did absolutely NOTHING. I sat on my couch. I didn't feel burdened and i didn't allow myself to feel guilty. It felt good. Hours of that allowed me the mental clarity to plan the rest of my week and actually enjoy my day.  What i will take away from this experience is that at the least i need to lay out the 1st thing i need to do the next day the night before (or earlier!). That will get me into the flow of things as early as possible.

Remember: Don’t over burden yourself with your to-do list and long term goals. Take it a step at a time. But hey, if you need a day to relax then DO IT!

[micxsic]

2018 is the year I face my demons and myself

I can no longer hide this from you and I can not carry this burden with me into the new year. I have fought anxiety and clinical depression for years. I was diagnosed in 2012 when I moved to Atlanta but I never disclosed it to anyone. I just accepted it as part of my life as my mother did when I was a child. Her's stemmed from PTSD after being assaulted working as a waitress at the Officers Club on Oceana Naval Base. Mine....I don't know? I've always had a darkness in me. I've never known how to fight it. Only how to live in the muck of it. Performing and hosting on stage is my compromise in expressing myself while giving myself the feeling that I'm doing something "worthwhile with my life".  But I've learned that that in itself is and has been a cop out. It's a form of Resistance as described by author Steven Pressfield in his book ”The War Of Art". I've built extravagant excuses in the form of creating other responsibilities and new work so as to put the most important thing that I should be doing (writing and recording consistently) on the back burner.  It's a double-edged sword for me because while many artists cope with mental illness by channeling that energy through their music, finding the words to express how I feel in the studio has never been easy for me. And that's frustrating. There has been no joy in that. Thus, I have a crippling anxiety when it comes to writing and recording music. So rather then create I'd avoid it all together to avoid the misery. I've wanted to give up. On EVERYTHING.

At the moment I don't  have all the answers as to how to battle through this but I have decided to do wake up accepting that every day will be a fight and every moment is a moment to change my life.  Keeping this bottled up inside has not been healthy and that will stop. I will more transparent in my music and with my friends & supporters through this blog. Morning meditations, mood charting, micro-blogging....little things that I noticed help me when I did do them in 2017 I'll consistently do in the new year and onward. 2018 will be a spiritual interpersonal journey. I’ve always said work is prayer. I just need to focus on the right work and monitor my health.  I’ I'm committing to my craft daily, executing around priorities and pushing through the pain. I'll start with small private victories and encourage others as I go. I want to lead by example and God willing I'll beat this.

Lastly, I just want to say that if anyone reading this battles with anxiety or depression or mental health issues in general -  If you haven't talked to someone or cried for help I understand why. You're embarrassed or ashamed. You have so much pride. I know that pride! And it's good to be strong. Resilient. That anger fuels you and it's what keeps you alive. But my friend, it will also create a wedge between you and your loved ones. You'll take your problems out on others. Eventually, you'll shut yourself off from the world. Then you'll be at the crossroad of choosing life or death. I've weighed those options myself. Today I'm choosing life and I want you to make that choice too and know that you're not alone.

[micxsic]

Don’t let no one hold you back and most importantly DO NOT HOLD YOURSELF BACK! You reap what you sow. You eat what you grow. Start with the end in mind and take that first step. Small victories add up. Start with the personal ones NOT the public ones.

@micxsic

[micxsic]

MICxSIC: The Mc

MC and Bar Exam host looks at the bigger picture

“Persistance will get you there, patience will keep you there”

Humbled and inspired to be a “People to Watch” honoree by Creative Loafing 

Click the photo and check out the article.

[micxsic]

The more you know and what you want, the less things upset you

Bill Murray, Lost in Translation 

[micxsic]

Whats the first thing you should do in the morning and the last thing you should do at night?

If you said Thank God - you're right.

But thats not where i was going with this.

You should think about the BIG picture. Your end goal. If you don't have one then you need one.

If you think too small it might not be enough to motivate you out of bed.  All those necessary little tasks will deter you because it feels like you have to "get up and go to work".  Skip all that and think about your ultimate goal. See yourself there. Doing it. Being it. That should spark a fire underneath your pillow and get you up out of bed. Then executing those little objectives will be just part of the process.  At the end of the day - Don't even think about tomorrow.  Don't think about what you DIDN'T do today. It'll make you restless. In your mind, put yourself in that special place again. Inside the BIG picture. Literally, DREAM in-to-it.

Thank God

Repeat.

[micxsic]

When you get tired, take a break. When you get frustrated, take a breath. When you need hope, call God When you need a friend, call me

MICXSIC

[theparisreview]

I need the pain of loneliness to make my imagination work.

Orhan Pamuk, The Art of Fiction No. 187