I feel like people don’t talk about this enough. You'd know what I mean if you are, or used to be a straight A student. As you progress through school, the subjects get harder. And when you don’t give yourself enough time to fully understand what’s being taught, especially if your school is rushing through everything too fast, then you start falling behind. And I speak from experience when I say that, it hurts when people around you say “you’d be able to keep up if you studied harder “ or “you’re not trying hard enough”. Because it has less to do with how hard you’re trying, but more to do with how much time you have to grasp the concepts. So if you can relate, then don’t worry. Just try your best, that’ll be enough. And I’m proud of you because I know how it feels. 😊
"I don't excuse the actions of this character--" well I do. I kiss them about it directly on the mouth. I think they should have done worse things. I think that would have been funny.
Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.
Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?
Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.
Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?
Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?
Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?
Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out
People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?
Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.
doomed by the narrative but not to death. doomed to survive. doomed to stay alive inside the story. doomed to never escape the narrative, not even through death. you are allowed no exit. there is no way out for you and there never was. you couldn’t die if you wanted to. the narrative has a hold on you and it won’t let go. death is too sweet a doom for you. the story has something much worse in mind. there is no way out.
Kaworu takes more after his dear departed dad this time, but he's the same thoughtful, lonely person on the inside. Hopefully Shinji will be able to see that once he gets used to how he looks!
There's an accompanying fic on my aO3 :)
Looking forward to all the awesome pieces/fics coming in the next week 💜💙
i want to be the protagonist of a studio ghibli movie so that my only real obligations are to romanticize the mundane and fall in love. nothing else matters
“Even though a hedgehog may wish to become close w another hedgehog, the closer they get, the more they injure each other w their spines. It's the same w some humans. The reason he seems so withdrawn is because he's afraid of being hurt.” yeah, ritsuko, indeed. In fact-
Couldn't find a post talking about this so I guess I have to make it myself since both of these stories have me in a chokehold
DUNGEON MESHI AND EVANGELION PARALELLS
Spoilers (all of NGE + End of Evangelion + all of Dungeon Meshi including the manga) below!
1. Monster eating, eldritch shit etc you know the deal, that's just the most basic one
2. The Gays have an important and beloved bath scene in which they kinda hold hands
Also one of the gays is... just not there, for most of the story lol. And also one of them is/becomes not exactly human. Also Marcille holds dead Falin in her hands and brings her back to life, while Shinji holds Kaworu in his hand and does uh. the opposite
3. The most important of all, the story starts with a simple premise of "let's fight the monster of the week", and then slowly but surely turns into... something else lol
It becomes a story about the very nature of life. Evangelion focuses a bit more on the nature of the self, and Dungeon Meshi on the nature of consumption, but both of them are faced with the concept of a world with no pain, no unfulfilled needs. In the end, the separation from others causes pain, but without that, the self cannot even exist, and everything becomes meaningless. Similarly, endless satisfaction becomes dull. We need to need. The very feeling of discomfort, of hunger, of needing something, is the driving force of life. Therefore, escapism is futile. Trying to completely avoid feeling discomfort will end up with you feeling nothing, and feeling nothing is death. It will come at one point, and we must accept that too, but what both these stories tell us is that we desperately need to see the miracle of our beating hearts, of life itself, of the time that we have here. And accept the pain that comes with it. When we stop wasting time and energy feeling sorry for ourselves for being put into this situation without having a say in it, we are finally free to savour it, in all its delicious and fascinating complexity.
