i need sakura nyan to know i would give my life for him. anything he asks for, shall be given to him. food? affection? a functioning home with a heater and ample space for recreational activities? endo's head on a stick? served on a platter.
What if it doesn't have to be like this? What if this tightrope isn't the only path for me? What if there wasn't the tension, ragged breaths... and the fear of falling? What if there's a place where I can stand freely? ー
I've been writing a fic (In Which I Stab Sakura Just A Bit Worse) about him and as a result I've had to pretty much create my own backstory for him. Here are my thoughts on best boi:
I think his parents are alive and are technically still his guardians but they told him to get lost—basically kicking him out without making it public
His parents come from a pretty traditional family that puts a high value on customs, but Sakura was always excluded because he brings down their reputation
They used to lock him away when they had guests over, and he wasn't allowed to play games or read or anything. He hates having nothing to do because of this.
His name is feminine because the doctors though he would be a girl before he was born
Growing up, his family was desperate to pass him off as normal at the cost of his health. They turned to doctors in order to "fix" his abnormalities permanently, which caused Sakura medical trauma
Then they turned to hair dye and colored contacts even though he was still very young, which would cause horrible reactions due to his sensitive skin.
They would make him wear hats and sunglasses out of shame, which is why he hates them now even though they would technically make his life easier
His parents eventually gave up and threw him away
Some people would react with fascination at his appearance instead of disgust, and would harass him and touch him like he was a doll—this he hates worse than the hatred
He was a very violent kid as a result of all this, so he got kicked out of a lot of schools, as they all naturally took the side of the more "normal" looking kids, especially when they get injured so bad
He used to watch dancers perform in festivals and admired them, which is why his fighting style is so flexible
He has an unhealthy reliance on violence as a mean to cope, and otherwise has no future plans and was barred from having interests he could have enjoyed from society around him—tbh I just really think he would have enjoyed dancing if he was allowed to exist in the world happy and free
Feel free to add on! One day I hope for a full canon backstory 🥺
I believe Sakura is actually a really kind person, despite what he shows outside. His temperance is a high wall he built around himself and violence is his response and only way he beat his bullies
People around him have probably failed him many times, that’s why he only relies on himself
When he met people who actually wanna be his friends, he got confused since all he’s ever known is rejection and it’s hard for him to believe that someone could like him without any agendas
Has abandonment issues, which possibly leads him to feel like he ‘owes’ something to the people who wanna be his friends, because if he can provide something to them, it’s less likely that they’ll leave him
That could also be why he seems to react so strongly when ‘failing’ his friends. That and also the fact that he doesn’t wanna become ‘a burden’ to anyone
Due to his past, Sakura is obviously very socially awkward. He hasn’t had any normal interactions with others, that’s why he doesn’t recognize sarcasm or jokes or know how to have small talk
Although he does have some insecurities, Sakura knows and trusts himself quite well, that’s why his faith isn’t easy to break and he’s a highly reliable individual
Has a strong sense of justice and hates those who hurt others for fun, a trait that also stems from his own experiences
Though reluctant to admit it, he does seem to protect others also because there’s probably some part deep within him that wishes someone would’ve been there for him when he suffered
Based on the fact that he wondered how warm a human body is, he probably hasn’t received a hug like, never
Good news is that once gaining his trust, he becomes extremely loyal
Is seriously touch-starved, though he definitely has to learn how to let someone come close to him and touch him
Cares very deeply of those around him. Might show that with funny words while blushing, but mostly gestures
These were transcribed by me directly from the CD booklet included with the OST; I reviewed them carefully to make sure there aren't any mistakes. Please enjoy!
Upheaval
High in the sky
The crows are calling and their wings unfold
And now, they fly in circles like they've found a prey to hold
Staring cold
A bell resounds
A blasting welcome portrays in its sound
I wonder now
What kinda mighty foes will come around
Zest's unbound
The curtain unveils a sight
I'm unleashing the rage, igniting a fight
Position I chase, will be mine
Through the gate, move on with my fist
I'm set to face all foes, no twist
My unshaken resolve, unwavering rock
The sight I pursue's kept away for the strongest one to unlock
Rise to the top
Feeling the stares and piercing gazes
I'm surrounded here
And I don't care
I love the tension, pitch-black atmosphere, drawing near
Only might will hold its weight in our realm
Are you weaklings or are you strong?
Heartbeat uncontrolled, racing on
I'll be so ruthless with all foes I'll face
The curtain unveils a sight
I'm unleashing the rage, igniting a fight
Position I chase, aim assigned
Through the gate, move on with my fist
I'm set to face all foes, no twist
For my goal, that is above all
<<Watch out, stay on guard>>
I'll face and conquer my rival
<<Watch out, stay on guard>>
Today's bound to an upheaval
A Starting Sign
The wind of ease would calmly blow
onto days I knew nothing of
A battle fought for someone else
comprehension's still on pause
But emotions deep inside would change
as sound was heard
Unimagined movement
now, I cannot be conquered
There is someone needing my strength
There's someone I must now protect
It's getting hotter now, this fighting spirit burns
The soul would shake, and emotions turn
I stand and stare into this foe in front of me
Blaze in your fist every meaning of the fight
A starting sign
Denounced and praised
Higher I'll Go
Every enemy in front of me I'll strike down
In position for the fight, I feel the time stop
Fire's burning from the soul, to the sky
And that's the cue to advance, let this ignite
Shall we begin it now, our show time
You wanna see how the fight ends
Like I'm distorting space, speed defines
Attack of the fist forming gusts of wind, now break away
This hurricane
Even in mid-day, dark interference
With no choice of home and appearance
This is me, what's wrong with that
What you keep calling "normal," I don't know what you mean
My true worth I now must feel
Gotta prove it's fine to be what reveals
Walking in my isolation
I'll be doing this my way, no room for your disruption
Way stronger, higher I'll go
I'll live the life I must know
Fist clenched with this heavy load
Like it's cracking open the world, here comes my blow
All denial and refusal and rejection
Discontinuation of retaliation
Solitude has taken feelings astray
Affection for tenderness would fade away
Shout it out!
So, get up!
This is my Way
This is the Way
Even in mid-day, dark interference
With no choice of home and appearance
This is me, what's wrong with that
What you keep calling "normal," I don't know what you mean
My true worth I now must feel
Gotta prove it's fine to be what reveals
Walking in my isolation
I'll be doing this my way, no room for your disruption
Way stronger, higher I'll go
I'll live the life I must know
Fist clenched with this heavy load
Like it's cracking open the world, here comes my blow
Way stronger, higher I'll go
Hey! Then I'll live the life I'm owed
Stronger
When I wanted to seize my freedom
It may've already broken
But I don't wanna cease
Only wished I'd neared the dream my heart has spoken
Unfolding disarray
I couldn't understand what I should have done
The colors fade away
Why does my heart keep on becoming so cold?
The rain, pouring down from the dark
Didn't care, kept walking on the path embarked
And focusing hard on the place I wanna reach
I even broke and lost what's dear to me
It is so bleak and iced
Lone, I can't suffice
To become stronger for somebody
Allies together, aligned with me
Always remember
Protecting someone
Allies together
Remember that
Remember that
At last, found my treasure
But it's unfilled, void of what I pursued
I noticed my heart is so dried
All the memories I cherish cracked inside
It felt unfulfilled, like there was a missing part
Although it's been so close, here from the start
It is so warm around
Lone, I feel the bounds
To become stronger for somebody
Allies together, aligned with me
Always remember
Protecting someone
Allies together
Remember that
Remember that
The rain subsides
Here come the bright skies
Call My Name
Stand clear, volatile, our faces glaring near
Why do you stand here?
Show what is deep inside, and rooted all throughout
Your conviction, unbending, firm and loud
With determination, make your move
The way of life abiding essence
Turns doubt into belief
Move, show no fear
This burning soul shall surface, keep focus
Welcoming new strengths outnumbers
Just filling in the gaps
Those powers couldn't mean nothing at all
Come and call my name
Screech of the bones sound,
Teeth, you bite down
Fist clenched, and drenched in sweat, firm-body strike down
Spectators overpowered
Temperatures rise in the room
They collide, boom!
Smirking as they fight now
Being strong, full of power, brings a certain thrill
But a dose of, oh, anything uncool can bring me down with chills
Carrying out intentions ain't no drill
Taking lies, repainted on with truth
Let go, don't accept that impulse with no proof
If you don't know how to control your stance
Let's keep it going until you understand
A fist you're clenching through deception
Has no meaning or use
One blow with truth beats sentences
Confession, no fiction
In this palm resides pain and woes
Find answers through what guides
Crashed down, look up, receive winds in these skies
The way of life abiding essence
Turns doubt into belief
Move, show no fear
This burning soul shall surface, keep focus
Welcoming new strengths outnumbers
Just filling in the gaps
Those powers couldn't mean nothing at all
Come and call my name
Screech of the bones sound,
Teeth, you bite down
Fist clenched, and drenched in sweat, firm-body strike down
Spectators overpowered
Temperatures rise in the room
They collide, boom!
Smirking as they fight now
“I should think visiting this place once was enough.”
The darkness before my eyes brightened faintly, and a familiar face came into view. Sung Hyunjae was looking down at me.
Read Chapter 256: Tea Time now!
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“…Thank you.”
Noah spoke quietly. He was smiling, but his expression was far from bright.
“But I’m not that good a person. You’re a good person, Yoojin-ssi, so that’s why you think of me like that. You’ve accepted my childishness.”
Read Chapter 255: Mu Of Médecin (5) now!
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