Sade Olutola

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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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@miksthoughts
—Fyodor Dostoevsky
Do you want to hurt someone so bad?
LOVE THEM. AND THEN LEAVE THEM.
…
It feels likes close to dying. You know the feeling, you’re alive but you’re barely there. You ain’t even hanging.
2023, you started so great and it feels like I was flying, and I landed on a garden with all these flowers but I woke up and it was just a dream.
2022, you are the growing room. But did I ever grew now that you’re almost through?
I need to be aware of a lot of things. There is a lot of growing left to do.
I need to talk to myself. I need to let myself know how I hate this version of her this year. She tried to heal but she keeps hurting herself anyways. She lies to herself, it's as if it's not gonna hurt.
So I guess despite of it all, I still carry so much respect for yah. ‘Coz really, I do. And you know, I love you still, I love you that I was willing to let go of all the memories we had. I know that this is all non sense for yah, but Idc. I did my best. I was thinking you realized that you don’t deserve a piece of love I gave you. So you went and walk away before serious gets serious. You know what I mean? Before I fuckin give you all of me. All of me.
A time when you ate everything you said and fvcking gave him all of you, ALL OF YOU.
The wind, the rain and this coffee shop.
It's either I feel too much or feel nothing at all. But today, I'm heavily feeling so much.
At night, I cry..
I cry sad tears
I cry myself to sleep
I cry for answers from questions unknown
At day, I smile..
I smile for photos
I smile for strangers
I smile for the looks of it
I don't know what I want,
'cause I have an empty heart.
So I guess despite of it all, I still carry so much respect for yah. 'Coz really, I do. And you know, I love you still, I love you that I was willing to let go of all the memories we had. I know that this is all non sense for yah, but Idc. I did my best. I was thinking you realized that you don't deserve a piece of love I gave you. So you went and walk away before serious gets serious. You know what I mean? Before I fuckin give you all of me. All of me.
You are sheet!
LDR WORKS! 💯 But it is not for WEAK people. So thank you, for showing me how weak you are and how fucking strong I am as a person and for proving how good a liar you can be. I realized that I, as a broken crayon can still color. But I was blind to see that I was coloring the wrong page. And you are a missing piece of sheet who people keeps on tucking on the wrong book.
Nasa point ako ng buhay ko na ayoko ng maniwala sa kahit anong sasabihin nila, from I love you to wala na? From broken walls to 10 feet walls.
Or am i thinking too much like i usually do?