the wind was bristling my hair as i stepped on the loudest.
they scarred my whimpered breath as kicked me to the edge.
i touched my chest to feel my beating heart,
Ā Ā Ā Ā because i couldn't feel the pulse on my neck.
i touched them temple to feel if the skin was still warm,
Ā Ā Ā Ā because i couldn't feel it on my hands.
big polar oxygen argued in my throat,
wanting to leave the rotten but i gulped it down.
their remorse gutted the top of my sanity.
they held my legs to reach the edge.
my eyes twisted to see what was in my back,
Ā Ā Ā my lovers, my pleasure, i had overlooked.
the forbidden colors were all i see when looking up the skies.
they tore them open to let the rain dripping my faint.
they couldn't see it.
i could.
Ā Ā Ā Ā i told them and they just couldn't.
they don't know i like rain.
they think i like the warmth sun.
but warm was vermillion because i saw that in the boy i once loved.
he made me jade green crashed down the stairs.
he couldn't make it gold because i was blinded by his coldness.
i'd wonder what did you see when i was seeing the back of your head,
Ā Ā Ā Ā it was never you who looked mine,
Ā Ā Ā Ā when we were walking that blue road.
i wondered too, if someone was doing the same thing like i did.
i wish they'd touch my shoulder so you could see the back of my head,
Ā Ā Ā Ā stopped seeing your color.
but shame on me. i followed your tail and let my color faded.
tell me,
Ā Ā Ā Ā what was it like to be loved by a girl who liked rain?
Ā Ā Ā Ā what was it like to be loved by a girl who waited at the bus stop?
Ā Ā Ā Ā what was it like to be loved by a girl who rushed the morning to be in the same car as you?
Ā Ā Ā what was it like to hear that girl confessed and ran?
Ā Ā Ā what was it like to lose her as a friend?
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā did it hurt lilke she was hurted by the sanity?
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā did you feel the longing like she did when you walked faster and didn't look back?
i blinked and what i saw was void.
i touched my hair that was wet by the rain.
touched the ground that was grass.
Ā Ā Ā Ā was it green or brown, i couldn't find that out.
my hand reached my back and no one was there,
Ā Ā Ā Ā because i was blinded by the fog.
the splash on the window woke me.
golden raiin was pouring outside.
broke the window to touch what it felt like,
Ā Ā Ā Ā to be the lucky one.
eyes looked around the sea of people just to find--what was i looking for?
my eyes kept searching for i didn't know why.
until my sanity thumped the cheeks, telling me to stop.
told me to look up,
where the rainbow was the confetti in red to green hues,
the skies were yellow to blue hues,
became grey when i dropped the glass of blurred jade.
the vermillion dripped all over the marble.
i looked up but i came back to that place again.
where the wind bristled my hair compassionately.
but this time i stood at the edge.
my hand was covered.
and weak.
