Save Me

I need your love before I fall

[milky-ho]

Cruel Reality

“Ha!” He let out a bitter laugh as he listened to his wife speak. Dongwoo looked at her as she backed up from him. “You think because you’re my wife I won’t care what you do?” He asked her.

“Get away from me,” she warned as he took two steps towards her.

“Kill me like you want to,” he said to her as he cocked his head to the right as if asking her to do it.

“I can’t,” she whispered, fear evident in her voice, “I can’t kill you.”

“Why not?” Dongwoo narrowed his eyes at her.

“I lost my sanity because of you,” she painfully said as she bit her bottom lip. Her fingers tugged at the hem of her shirt as she looked down at her feet, not wanting to make eye contact with her husband.

Dongwoo took two more steps and stood in front of her. He placed his finger under her chin, lifting her face so he could see her eyes. And when he did, he saw empty they were. They no longer sparkled like how they used to before they both crumbled. “You lost your sanity way after I did,” he chuckled which turned into a loud, obnoxious laugh as if what he said was the funniest thing in the world. “You don’t know what it’s like to lose your sanity, wife.”

She let out a dry laugh as she looked at her husband. “What have we done?” She asked with one of the saddest grins he has ever seen in his life. He looked at her and let out a laugh at her.

He wasn’t sure what was happening at the moment as his mind went blank and he stared at his once sane wife. The two knew there was no love to begin with, there was nothing to begin with. This isn’t a fairytale where they would end up in love and end up happily ever after. This was the cruel reality and they had.

[milky-ho]

When

“I gave you everything,” he cried as he fell onto his knees when his legs could no longer support him anymore. “I gave you everything I had!” Chanyeol screamed.

Soo Yun crouched down to the ground and cupped his cheeks, making him look at her. “Look at me, okay?” Her voice was soft as she tried to calm down the hysterical man in front of her. “Everything I am doing is because of you,” she began. “I may hurt you, but I’m doing what’s best for you, Yeol.”

The longer the two looked at each other, the more painful it was for them to take. Soo Yun could feel her heart ripping at the thought of leaving Chanyeol another night. She couldn’t do it. Not when he was like this. She could tell he was too broken to do anything. As for Chanyeol, he didn’t know what to do anymore. He gave everything to the girl in front of him. He gave her his all and she took it, she took it with wide arms.

“What do you want me to do?” His voice cracked in pain as he searched his lovers eyes. “What more can I possibly do, love?” A sad tear slipped from his eye, then followed another until they fell continuously, wetting Soo Yun’s hands.

“You’ve done so much, baby,” she pressed her forehead to his as she gently wiped his tears away with her thumbs. “You have done everything you can for me. It’s my turn to do everything I can for you,” Soo Yun felt her throat burn as she continued to talk. Everything came out in painful breaths as she tried to control her emotions but failed at the end as she wept with Chanyeol who was looking at her with hopeless eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” she sobbed.

Chanyeols arms found their way around her waist, pulling her close to his body. Soo Yun let go of his face and wound her arms around his neck as she sobbed to him.

If anyone saw them, they would have pitied the two. Both lovers crying and it only seemed to be happening to these two that both of them found comfort in one another’s sobbing. Nothing seemed to have pulled the two out, both of their pains growing with each passing second as like a balloon, it’ll pop and be gone. But when exactly are they going to explode?

[milky-ho]

Golden Flower || Snippet

“I gave you everything,” he cried as he fell onto his knees when his legs could no longer support him anymore. “I gave you everything I had!” Chanyeol screamed.

Soo Yun crouched down to the ground and cupped his cheeks, making him look at her. “Look at me, okay?” Her voice was soft as she tried to calm down the hysterical man in front of her. “Everything I am doing is because of you,” she began. “I may hurt you, but I’m doing what’s best for you, Yeol.” The longer the two looked at each other, the more painful it was for them to take. Soo Yun could feel her heart ripping at the thought of leaving Chanyeol another night. She couldn’t do it. Not when he was like this. She could tell he was too broken to do anything. As for Chanyeol, he didn’t know what to do anymore. He gave everything to the girl in front of him. He gave her his all and she took it, she took it with wide and open arms.

“What do you want me to do?” His voice cracked in pain as he searched his lovers eyes. “What more can I possibly do, love?” A sad tear slipped from his eye, then followed another until they fell continuously, wetting Soo Yun’s hands.

“You’ve done so much, baby,” she pressed her forehead to his as she gently wiped his tears away with her thumbs. “You have done everything you can for me. It’s my turn to do everything I can for you,” Soo Yun felt her throat burn as she continued to talk. Everything came out in painful breaths as she tried to control her emotions but failed at the end as she wept with Chanyeol who was looking at her with hopeless eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” she sobbed.

Chanyeol’s arms found their way around her waist, pulling her close to his body. Soo Yun let go of his face and wound her arms around his neck as she sobbed to him.

If anyone saw them, they would have pitied the two. Both lovers crying and it only seemed to be happening to these two that both of them found comfort in one another’s sobbing. Nothing seemed to have pulled the two out, both of their pains growing with each passing second as like a balloon, it’ll pop and be gone. But when exactly are they going to explode?

[milky-ho]

University au with sehun or yixing please and thank youuuu

Sorry for such a late reply! Finals came up so I’ve been slacking with this. /.\  

But here you go, lovee! I hope you like it. The ending is ehhh…. I can post it on AFF too if ya want 

The sound of papers moving filled the quiet library corner where Sehun sat with his glasses sliding down his nose. A frustrated sigh escaped his lips when he realized he lost his notes to his philosophy 101 class. Pushing his glasses up, Sehun glanced at the clock and noticed how he only had 40 minutes before the facility closed.

“You gotta be kidding,” his voice was laced with irritation. He had a test tomorrow and he was screwed. A grunt left his mouth as he packed up his bag, tired of sitting in the library for the last four hours.

“Sehun,” the said man jumped a little at the voice. He turned his head and saw his friend. He scowled before continuing packing his bag and grabbing his phone before he walked past him. “what’s wrong?” he asked Sehun.

“I’m irritated right now,” he told him as they left the building. Sehun shoved his hands in his jacket pocket. “Let’s go back to the dorms, Xing,” he sighed, leading the way.

“You know,” Yixing began, “I am your friend for a reason; so you can tell me what’s happening.”

“Freaking philosophy,” he grumbled. “Do you know how dumb it is?” he asked. Sehun was beyond irritated and frustrated. He reached an all new level of the two feelings within the last four hours.

“Xing- Xing!” the two turned their heads and looked at the girl behind them. Sehun let out a chuckle before looking over at Yixing who had an annoyed expression on his face. “Wait for me, please!”

“Do you want to wait alone?” Sehun took a step, then two then three. “Because you ca-”

“Don’t you dare leave me alone with her, Hun,” Yixing growled. “You little piece of annoying shi–”

“Xing!” She yelled louder, embarrassing the two males. “I want to take you out tonight,” she said to him as she held onto his right arm.

“Only if Sehun goes with me,” he told her. Yixing looked at the male and raised an eyebrow as if to provoke him. “Right, Sehun?”

Sehun wanted to punch the older male in the face the instant his name left his lips. He knew Yixing would never leave him alone if Tiffany was around. “Of course,” he smiled at the two. “Yixing and I would love to go and eat some sushi and-”

“We can go another time then, Xing,” Tiffany sighed sadly.

“I’m sorry, Fany,” Yixing apologized with a small smile on his face showcasing the dimple on his cheek. He bid her a goodbye as she entered the girl’s dorm across the grass.

“‘I’m sorry, Fanny,’” Sehun mocked. “You little ass always involving me in your Tiffany drama,” he mumbled as the two entered the boys dorm. Yixing let out a laugh as the two walked into the elevator.

“She’s too annoying,” Yixing complained, “She showed up after high school ended and I think she expects me to see her as a woman and not a teenage girl.”

Sehun knew the story. He knew all about high school and the irrelevant drama that happened. He helped calm Yixing when she was involved and when she irritated him. Sehun knew why Yixing needed him so much. And as a friend he had to be there. It’s been too long for their relationship to come to an end because Yixing involves him with the little show.

“I know,” he said softly before a laugh left his mouth. “It’s been how many years and she still managed to show up here in college and be able to yell your name like she did back in high school.”

Yixing stepped out of the elevator with Sehun beside him. The two of them walked towards their room at the end of the hallway. Sehun glanced at Yixing and smiled a little, innocent smile at the older male. He pushed his glasses up his nose as Yixing opened the door for him– like he always does.

“Want to go out later?” Yixing asked. “There’s a party later at Kai’s place and he wanted to know if we wanted to go over,” he told him, placing his bag on the floor by his bed.

Sehun looked over at Yixing with an eyebrow raised, as if asking for more information. The older male told him that there would be his Ara there waiting for him which caused him to blush. Yixing knew Sehun liked her, she was a year younger than them, a sophomore whom Sehun had met in the library at the beginning of the semester.

“We can go,” Sehun said reluctantly. He was happy– the happiest person ever. Sehun needed to look nice, he was a nervous high schooler again with his little crush on a girl.

It would be busy at the party, he knew that for a fact, but he didn’t think he wouldn’t have room to move in the fraternity house where Kai was living. Sehun and Lay were quieter than the rest of their friends, but they still partied hard like the others. Sehun looked around and saw Lay just ahead of him with two cups in his hand already. Sehun pushed himself through the crowd to reach the older male who handed him the other red solo cup.

“Drink up,” Lay smirked, “It’s going to be a long night!” He was hyped, he was feeling the party, the rush of adrenaline and the bass dropping in the crowded house. He was excited and it was wearing off on Sehun too because after drinking his first cup, he went out to look for his little sophomore before he missed the chance.

“Hey, man,” Kai greeted with a gummy smile on his lips, he was too intoxicated to really know what was happening when he bumped into Sehun. “She’s outside, told her you would be here soon,” he chuckled as Sehun punched his arm in annoyance. “Go,” Kai urged him, pushing the younger one out of the door and onto the deck where he saw Ara sitting where it was quieter with a cup in her hand.

Sehun made his way over to her and say down beside her. “How’s it going?” He asked, surprising the girl before she turned her head to see the blonde male.

“You scared me,” she said softly with a small laugh following soon after. “It’s okay,” she said quietly. “How’s it going for you?” She looked at his cup and noticed it empty then glanced at his face. He was watching her with soft, gentle eyes making her blush a little bit before she switched cups with him. Sehun knew she wasn’t a drinker, so he held onto her cup while she played with his empty one.

“I’m better,” he breathed out. “I’ve been stressing for the past few hours but I feel better now,” he confessed. He wasn’t shy about saying it, but he was shy about his feelings because Oh Sehun was not bold like that. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you,” he said with a small grin on his face as she looked at him with a small smile that was fighting it’s way to grow.

“You just saw me the other day when we were at the library,” she mumbled as she gently pushed Sehun away from her. Sehun let out a laugh and stood up. He offered his hand to her, which she took gratefully, and pulled her up. She adjusted her cardigan before following him back inside where they were welcomed by the sight of Lay walking across the room as quick as he could with Tiffany following not so far from him.

After Sehun had informed Lay that he was going to leave the party, Sehun told Ara they were going to be going somewhere. Ara and Sehun drove to a quiet, 24 hour coffee shop not too far from the house. The two sat in peace as they enjoyed their sweets and cups of hot cocoa.

“I have one more year before I graduate,” he said to her. “I’ll be off into the real world and working and interning and having bills to pay and being busy and–”

“I’ll still be here,” she said as quiet as ever. “You’ll be gone into the world and I’ll be here still.” She sounded sad to Sehun and when he saw her pick up her fork to continue eating their shared piece of cake, he knew she was bummed because she ate quietly without anything to do with him. She avoided all eye contact with him and he was met with a feeling of guilt for graduating.

“But you can still be by me,” he told her. “I mean, we’re adults and we’re all of age now and there’s nothing wrong with us being together.”

“What?” She said, a little surprised at his words as she looked at him with flushed cheeks and a small smile on her lips. She had hope in her eyes and her heart was drumming too fast in her chest.

“University won’t last forever, but maybe we can last until we find what we truly desire. I like you a lot, Ara, don’t get me wrong, but I know you’re meant for greater things in life and I would like to be with you every step of the way. I would like to see you achieve it all and I can say “That’s my girlfriend right there!” and everyone can be jealous because we’ll be the best.”  

[milky-ho]

Paper Heart || Snippet

Snippet from Chapter 7

(x)

She glanced at the clock and noticed that it was a quarter past one. She had four hours left, but she knew she would be working overtime again. Her boss had a meeting to attend to tomorrow morning and he was preparing his powerpoint while she would do their coffee runs and snack buying (more for her than him.) while he would call her when needed, or she would remind him of another meeting or client on the phone waiting for him. It wasn’t that hard, but on the days when she was running around, she grew tired.

Daeho would be with Chanyeol and most likely Sora when she was at work, but she trusted the two with him, if not, she would’ve placed in a summer program while she was at work, and Aejin couldn’t do that to her younger brother. He was supposed to be having fun and she knew Chanyeol would bring him to do fun things everyday while she was at work, plus, she was saving her vacation days for later, like during his winter break when she could spend the whole three weeks off with him. It was a perk and his Kai hyung would return to him in a few weeks.

Did you know that we’re all made of stardust, Ae? That parts of us come from the stars and that maybe, just maybe, our hearts create a constellation in the sky. But seeing the stars here in Japan seem so different from when I saw them with you back in Korea.  

Aejin opened the door to the apartment and was greeted to the sound of the t.v on  She walked into the living room with her heels in her hand as she saw it was Lion King 1 ½. Aejin couldn’t help but smile because Kai had bought him that movie and even if it was older than Daeho, he still enjoyed it for some reason. He resembled Kai in a way where it was kind of cute but a little weird for her, because he was getting sarcastic and it was annoying for the older girl.

She glanced at the sofa and saw Chanyeol and Daeho sleeping with the blanket covering their bodies. She turned off the t.v. and adjusted Chanyeol and Daeho so they slept more comfortably. Aejin turned the lights off and made her way towards her room where she could change and take a shower.

Is it because you and I are so far from one another that the stars are being pulled apart? Or perhaps it’s because they’re just small specks of light in the sky that we see that seems to become smaller the bigger our skies become, love.

Aejin laid on her bed and thought about Kai. She’s been lonely these days and she felt herself missing him more than she should. She’s waited patiently for so long and she’s beginning to think if it was worth it all. She shook off the thought of her wait and countless letters and short phone calls of waits and proclamation of their love and the promises of returning home and giving her a relationship that she would enjoy instead of feeling rushed and pushed around by other people who tell her it’s a waste of her time.

Closing her eyes, Aejin recalled the day before Kai had left for Japan. Her lips curled up in a smile as she remembered his words that were spoken so softly of him returning to take care of Daeho and her. She recalled how his fingers grazed against her cheek in a loving manner and how his lips were quirked up in a smile and how he planted small kisses on her face as he indulged himself, taking in every feature of her, all of the small things that he’s taken a notice to and so did she. Aejin allowed her mind to take a picture of the man in front of her as she noticed how his eyes were soft and delicate and how light his touches were on her skin.

“I miss you,” she said softly and quietly to no one. Aejin opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling and found her eyes watering from the thoughts that consumed her. She sniffed once and felt her tears fall. Aejin moved from the her position and laid on her side with the blanket covering her body as she silently cried the emptiness from inside of her away. She allowed her tears to fall as she wished to be better tomorrow.

Tonight when I look at the sky, all I see is the moon and a bright star. Do you see it as well? I see you in the beauty of the moon and the star is me, because I’ll be your guardian. The star that will always guard the moon from any other star will be by your side for as long as it shines. I hope that you’re sleeping better than I am tonight, Ae. I can’t sleep without my moon shining next to me, I can’t see the reflection of your love and smile beside me and it’s difficult.

[milky-ho]

Petal

Title: Petal Pairing: Chanyeol x OC Oneshot Summary: Chanyeol likes a girl and tries to find a way to confess to her. 

I felt it the moment she looked at me with her pretty brown eyes and cute, dimpled smile of hers. She had a way to make my heart beat crazy fast in my chest and I was so scared that she might be able to see it. But of course I was being crazy then. It wasn’t until she talked to me for the first time. She asked me a question about where a building was on campus, and coincidentally, I was on my way to the same place she was looking for. When I saw her up close, she took my breath away. She was a true beauty even from a far, anyone could see it.

Months passed and we became closer, mostly because our majors were the same. But I found myself understanding her to a point where we no longer needed to speak in order to communicate. She could look at me and I do the same and we understand what we want, what we need and what we’re saying. We understood each other on an entirely different level than our other friends. There was a bond that we had and it terrified me to no ends, but she made it worth the fear.

“Petal,” I said, calling her the nickname I had been calling her by after a month we met. She looked at with her pretty eyes. “Let’s go out this weekend,” I suggested.

“Dinner?” She asked with a growing smile on her face. “How about a picnic, Chan?” She said my nickname, making my heart skip a beat at how gentle she said it.

“Whatever you want,” I told her. She smiled bigger and nodded her head, beginning to talk about what to pack and how the weather was supposed to be beautiful for them this weekend. She continued to talk forgetting about her book she placed on my small coffee table.

“Channie, do you like anyone?” She asked me as we watched a movie after she finished talking about what we could do this weekend.

I turned my attention to her and I saw how her eyes glittered in curiosity and I saw how she was expecting an answer. I nodded my head and smiled. “Of course, Petal,” I said softly, “I like someone.”

“Really?” Her eyes widened for a second before she looked away. She was hurt? Her voice only sounded like that if she was hurt. Wasn’t it obvious though? I like her, it’s right in front of her, the reason as to why is long, too long for me to list, but I knew I liked my Petal. She had to have known it as well. “Is she pretty?”

I had to hold in my laugh at her question. She was beyond pretty-- beautiful, gorgeous, magnificent, she was a work of art. In my eyes, she was an angel. “She’s so pretty I can’t describe her,” I whispered. She heard me though. My beautiful petal heard me, but she looked hurt-- betrayed in a way. Maybe it’s because she didn’t understand what I was saying to her. “Petal--”

“I’m so happy for you, Chan,” I heard her voice crack a little before she turned her attention back to the screen. A few minutes later I felt her soft, delicate hands hold onto mines. “Do I know this girl that you like?” She asked. I glanced down and saw her small, soft pink lips in a pout.

“You know her very well,” I saw her eyes widened before she tightened her hold on my hand. “You know her inside out.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, trying to think of a girl she was close with. “I can’t think of anyone like that,” she mumbled. She placed her forehead on my arm and I felt those sparks ignite my body. “Blanket, Yeol,” she said quietly. I looked behind us and saw the blanket hanging on back of the sofa. I pulled it over us and she snuggled closer to my body and held onto my hand tighter with her legs pulled up, resting on mines. She was comfortable so I didn’t mind. As long as Petal was comfortable I was too.

“Are you done with the movie?” I asked, grabbing the remote. She nodded her head and gave me a grunt as an answer. “Isn’t today when when the new episode of the drama comes out?”

Her head shot up from my arm then came her snatching the remote from my hand. “Thanks, Chan for reminding me,” she gave me that pretty smile and I swear she knows what it does to me. Orange Marmalade, it’s kind of cute, but that stupid Yeo Jin Goo and what he does to that vampire girl, I think it has Petal wanting me to confess in a spontaneous way.

“Petal,” I glanced in the kitchen where she was and I saw her still preparing the food for our picnic.

She looked up at me and I saw her eyes were wide and pretty and they sparkled. “Hi, Chan. I’m almost done. Just give me another ten minutes,” she said. I would give her the whole day if she needed. “Chanyeol, can you pack the drinks, please?” I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge and took out the drinks and placed them on the counter, letting her pack the food and drinks how she wanted. Petal was excited for the picnic so I was letting her arrange it. She told me where she wanted to go and I was the driver. She cooked all the food and I bought all the ingredients. She was my Petal and my Petal could do anything that she wanted and she was and is capable of anything. She had me wrapped around her fingers and even I knew it. I, Park Chanyeol, knew that Petal could do and say anything to me and it wouldn’t matter at all.

“I’ll be back, Petal,” I told her before disappearing into the depths of my apartment. She hummed a response from the kitchen and began to sing to herself, occupying the silence in the apartment. I went into my room and searched for my camera. We were headed to the beach today and whenever we went out together, I always made sure to take pictures of her, us, the sky. If she was in the frame, I would take a picture. She was worth every snap and every smile of mines. I walked back to the kitchen after grabbing the camera and extra shirts (one for me and one for Petal) for later.

“All set, Chan,” she told me, placing the drinks and food in the container. “You made sure to pack the mat and speakers, right? Everything that we need to go to the beach?” Petal glanced at me as she wondered if I packed it all. She dragged the cooler out of the kitchen and towards the front door where all of our stuff were for the picnic. We had a cooler for food and drinks, my backpack with our towels and sunblocks, her beach bag with everything that Petal needed and she made sure to tuck our phones in ziplock bags just in case they got wet somehow.

“Let’s go then, Petal.”

“What do you see yourself doing in ten years, Chan?" Petal took a bite of a the small cake she had made for us. Her question was random and I wasn't sure how to properly respond to her. But I knew that she was curious-- genuinely curious.

"I see myself married and raising my kids," I replied. "I'll be working as a photographer somewhere with my wife being my inspiration for my pictures. I'll be living in a house that would make her happy and we would have a dog and a lot of land because two kids need a lot of space to roam and explore. We'll have a garden-- a huge one at that. Or maybe a small greenhouse where she can grow her flowers and sing her songs late at night when she needs to get away from the three of us. But in ten years, I can see myself in love with my wife. I can see my future with her from now til eternity." Petal looked at me with a small smile and soft eyes. She looked as if I was already done and ready to settle down. Maybe I was, but I need to tell Petal before the day ends because I'm Park Chanyeol and Park Chanyeol is no coward.

"Really?" She said softly. A kind smile floated on her face. "That's really sweet, Chan." Petal looked through the cooler for some more food that she made earlier and I think it was to keep herself occupied and not thinking about what was being said. "I would like to have a family as well. I want a husband, one is nice and caring. Someone who'll listen to me when I need to rant," she laughed a little and I saw the cute, little dimple form on her left cheek. "I want someone to give me their jacket when it's cold, someone who'll hold my hand when we're walking in a busy street. I want a family guy. One that has a strong backbone, someone who wouldn't be afraid to embarrass himself when our kids need some cheering up. I need someone who'll support my dreams of becoming an editor; one who'll appreciate my art."

"I appreciate your art, Petal," I blurted. She looked at me with wide eyes and I saw that little sparkle. "I appreciate everything that you do," I grabbed onto her small hands and held them tightly in my hands.

"Chanyeol,"she said quietly.

"I really like you, Petal." Her brows furrowed and I saw her eyes grow bigger (if that was possible) before her face relaxed and a smile appeared. Petal was happy. "I was about to die the first time I saw you on campus, Petal," I confessed. Her smile grew wider and I saw her hold back a laugh. I shifted closer to her and she helped meet me halfway. "I'm not kidding. You were breathtakingly beautiful-- and you still are. But you always have a cute smile on your face and it makes me really happy when I see it. Your eyes sparkle in a way that I never knew eyes were able to sparkle. But you can do it. You can do all of these things, Petal, and so much more."

"Park Chanyeol," she looked as if she was about to cry. Her eyes were full of hope and light that only she had. “You took forever,” she sighed as she leaned her head on my arm like she always does. “Everyone kept saying that you liked me and I got so scared when you said you like someone else and it almost killed me,” she whispered. I let out a chuckle because Petal knew all along. Everyone knew and she didn’t believe them. “You are horrible for keeping it from me because Baekhyun told me to not give up because you’re just being an idiot.”

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. Petal let out a small laugh and held onto my arm tighter. “I really do like you, Petal.”

“Why do you call me Petal?” She asked me after we finished eating our food and talking about what we are. “You stopped calling me my name and called me Petal one day.”

Well,” I began, holding her tighter in my arms as we watched the waves hit the sand. “Petals on a flower make the plant seem brighter. They provide life and color to the world. Even if they begin to die, they still have color and Petal, you give my life color. You provide me with color and light and you make it beautiful. You are so fragile like a petal, too, love. Do you know that everytime I hold onto you I’m terrified to break you, Petal.” I felt her fingers interlock with mines and I gave her a small squeeze.

“You’re so cheesy, Park Chanyeol,” she breathed out. “Chan--”

“I will never pluck your petals off so they’ll fall. I would never destroy you, Petal. I don’t think I can ever take you out of the ground because you might not make it to tomorrow. You need your roots and stem to grow. You need the sun and rain to be nourished and the thought of me just taking you out of where you’re meant to be is too much for me to process. Don’t ever think you’ll get hurt by me. I promise you that I can never hurt you like that,” I knew she was hesitating with the entire confession from earlier. I knew that Petal and I were lost together in a garden, and she always told me she was terrified by the thought of being in a relationship. Petal was scared and I could tell by the way she tightened her hold on my hand. She was seeking reassurance from me. “Never will I pick you out of the ground when I know you need to live.”

[milky-ho]

Forever and Always

“You told me not to get too close,” she said softly, her eyes began making her way upwards to the male in front of her. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she watched his reaction. “But you got close to me,” Ching Lan whispered, “Too close.” 

Chen watched as she licked her lips nervously. She was scared and so was he. The confident Chen was terrified by the thought of Ching Lan leaving him. He was scared because he was so close to her that he could feel her heart break with his. 

“I know,” he said softly. “I didn’t know that it would happen, Lan,” He saw her eyes soften at his words and she raised a timid hand up and slowly held onto his hand that was on the desk. Chen felt his heart beat fasten at her touch.

“Do you love me, Chen?” Ching Lan asked him, her long brown hair fell over her shoulders and she saw Chen’s jaw tense then relaxed. She felt his hand give her a squeeze and a smile on his face.  

“Forever and always,” he said softly. “Ching Lan, I can’t leave you. I never wanted to get this close to you for a reason and I knew that you liked me from the beginning,” a chuckle escaped his lips at the fond memories of her flustered face when they would greet each other in the hallways. “I was terrified to love you because you are so perfect. I couldn't ruin a beautiful art piece because I couldn’t afford to.” 

Ching Lan looked at him and smiled at his words. Everyone knew she had taken a liking to Chen. She remembered seeing him in the hallways freshman year of college for the first time then she saw him in her first class: College Algebra. A small laugh escaped her lips as she recalled the time Chen tripped when he first asked her out on a date and how he laughed it off with his awkward smile accompanying it. “Forever and always,” she said softly.  

[milky-ho]

My Way To Love || Snippet

Title: My Way To Love || Snippet Chapter: 1 Pairing: Baekhyunx OC

Park Ahri’s dream was to be able to see the sun rise every morning from the horizon line and to set. She dreamed of seeing the stars up close and being able to see flowers when they break from their buds. Her dream was to love a man before she left. And she wanted to meet him soon, but with those things comes patience. One cannot force love to happen because when it does happen, it’ll be natural.

There was one person who seemed to have what she wanted-- Byun Baekhyun. He had a smile that she enjoyed seeing. Everytime she was out in the courtyard at campus she would always feel inspired. Her fingers would itch to reach into her bag and take out her pale blue, leather sketch book. She always sat on the bench under the shaded tree and she would take cover under the shade from the hot sun during her free periods. No one occupied her spot and she was glad for that, they knew it was her spot and of course, they gave it to her.

Ahri saw him again. He was coming out of the music department of SNU. Ahri moved her dark brown hair out of the way as she looked at the man who was in a white button up shirt with a gray, cashmere sweater over it with a pair of dark skinny jeans with a pair of black high tops. His light brown hair was straight today. He walked beside his friends: Chanyeol, Kai, and Sehun while they went towards the opposite tree where the picnic table was to meet up with their friends.

She saw his smile from where she was. The table wasn’t far from where she resided. She could hear them laugh (probably because they were always loud.) and crack jokes. She looked down at her notes in her lap as she prepared herself for her next class in about an hour and a half. She ate her lunch as she looked at her notes on the history of art.

“Excuse me,” Ahri lifted her head up and saw Suho, one of Baekhyun’s friend standing in front of her with his right hand stretched out to her with a cup of hot cocoa in his hand.

“Yes?” She said softly, looking at the older male in front of her.

Suho smiled at her. “Here,” he said, urging her to take the cup from his hand, “It’s getting colder and I always see you here so I thought that you should get something warm in your body.”

Ahri’s soft brown eyes widened at his words. She took the cup from him then moved her notes out of the way. “Did you want to sit here?” She asked him.

“If you don’t mind,” he said sitting down on the other half of the bench where her things weren't occupying it. “Park Ahri, right?” Suho asked. The girl nodded at his question as she took a sip of the chocolate drink. “I’m Kim Joon Myeon,” he said with a smile that made her own lips stretch into a pretty smile.

“Nice to meet you,” Ahri said, sticking her hand out to him. She knew who he was-- she knew who they all were, but that would be weird if she told him that. That would make her a complete idiot if she said that to him.

“Not today,” Chanyeol said, interfering their interaction by shaking Ahri’s soft, small hand in his. “Park Chanyeol,” he greeted with a wide, pearly smile. Ahri thought he was handsome, as well as Suho, but not as handsome as Baekhyun.

“Park Aejin,” she smiled, showcasing her dimples. She placed her cup of hot cocoa on the bench and packed her backpack with her notebooks and folders. She glanced over to the two males, one standing and the other still sitting on the bench, watching her put her things away.

“Do you want to hang out with us on Friday?” Chanyeol asked her with a smile on his face. It wasn’t as big as the one before. His eyes were filled with anticipation and nervousness as to what her answer would be.

She thought about it for a minute before slowly nodded her head. Suho grinned and stood up from the bench, helping Ahri with her things. Suho took the cocoa and bento from the bench while Chanyeol took her cardigan and began walking towards their group of friends, leaving Aejin to follow along in order to get her belongings.

Suho and Chanyeol nodded at each other while smiling at a certain person in the group who looked at Ahri in awe. Her dark brown, waist length hair flowing in the light breeze, messing up her fringe a little. And how her light pink lips formed a small frown in dissatisfaction. A small chuckle escaped his lips as she fixed her navy blue and white polka dotted, collared dress and her white knitted sweater that was over put over it.. She looked really pretty today-- she looked pretty everyday actually. He looked down to her feet and saw she was in black booties instead of the off white converse that have dirtied from the lack of cleaning. She was a work of art to him. Someone made so perfectly, sculpted with the most care in the world, made out of the finest material anyone can get.

“Hello,” Ahri greeted, bowing to the older males in front of her. A few of them silently snickered as they looked over towards a certain awe struck male. She straightened herself up and looked for Suho and Chanyeol for her items. She saw they had placed them in front of Baekhyun and she couldn’t help but bite her bottom lip, fighting back her smile that threatened to escape. Ahri smiled at the male as she took off her backpack and put on her light jacket she wore.

“You look pretty today,” Baekhyun blurted out, admiring her still as she put on a white, knitted scarf that complimented her fair skin tone.

Ahri blushed at his compliment. “Thanks,” she said shyly, moving her hair out of the scarf. She looked at Chanyeol and Suho before checking the time on her phone. She had twenty minutes left before she had to go to class. If she left now then she should be able to go and have ten minutes to study. “Where should I meet you guys on Friday?” She asked them.

Suho looked at Chanyeol, as if asking if he could answer the question. Chanyeol cleared his throat and answered. “Meet us at the--uh-- sushi restaurant down the street from campus at six,” he said to her with a smile. “We’re all going out that night and we always see you and just thought why not have dinner with you.”

Ahri nodded her head and smiled at the group. “I’ll see you Friday then,” she said, waving goodbye as she made her way across campus.

“We’re going out on Friday?” Kai asked with a smirk on his face. ”With Park Ahri?” He cocked his head towards Baekhyun who was looking down at his phone, pretending to not pay attention to their conversation. “She’s pretty,” Kai said, turning his attention to the girl who was walking way.

“Hot, you mean?” Chanyeol said, admiring her legs from afar. His eyes flickered to Baekhyun and he saw his best friend’s jaw clench in anger. Tao snickered at his reaction and looked away from the pathetic twenty year old.

Park Ahri was pretty, alright-- actually, she was beautiful. It wasn’t only her art that was pretty, but also her smile was. It was a contagious smile. She had these cute dimples that Baekhyun liked and she was in a pair of jeans most of the time with her off-white Converse. Her hair was straight most of the time and her eyes were big and pretty. They weren’t doe-like, no, they were not, they just big and they always had a shimmer of light in them whenever anyone talked to her. She had friends on campus, but she was alone most of the time which puzzled him and everyone else. Baekhyun believed her to be the best artist on campus, maybe he was biased because he liked her, or it could’ve been because her paintings made him feel something like a song did.

[milky-ho]

FanFic Rec.

Just thought I should share a few of my favorite fanfics that I've read. They are in no particular order whatsoever.  For more information regarding fanfics, please go here (or if you are interested in a much longer list).

Artficial Affection - Honestly, this fic made me feel for both Kai and Sehun. But at the end, I thought it was such a plot twist that it got me so hard. It had this angst feel to it, which I enjoy, so if you're into drama and romance, this is the way to go. 

Ludos - I am currently reading this right now and I have to say it's making me squeal. It's not cute, because that doesn't really describe the story, but the plot is really nice so far. The character's are vivid. I'm not all for it when the author changes pov, but he/she does it very smoothly. It is very enjoyable. 

Mr. Byun Baekyun: Untamed. (M)- Baekhyun is hot in this one! He get's me frustrated in this fic, but I cannot say his character in here is portrayed as bad. I really enjoy how the author describes the OC and her emotion with Baekhyun.

Heartbeat (M)- This story is a little cuter in my opinion. The story moves at relatively nice pace, it doesn't rush into it like most fanfics of this kind. Kai is portrayed as a playboy-- once again-- but the OC is confused as to what Kai really is, which make it much more fun to read and it's very comedic in a way. 

In The Prince's Chamber- This one is written in such a romantic way that it is so hard to stop reading. The way the author writes is so pretty that I want to cry. She spends less time on dialogue and more on describing how the character feels and how they stand and how their hearts are. It's breathtaking. 

 My Mother's Love: Her Secret - This fanfic is a work of art. It completely drew me in and it is possibly one of the most dramatic, poetic stories I have read so far. It's beautiful. 

The Little Bumblebee- This fic is so cute. It kept me falling in love with Kai. It is just full of fluff and it's a little realistic. It resembled a real life situation most of the time, but the fluff kept me smiling like an idiot because of how the author wrote it, it's quiet cute with first person since you have Kai's and the OC's. 

The 7th Demon- This fic isn't really cute, they do have their moments here with Baekhyun and the OC, but it is more of a supernatural type of story. The ending is just so-- ugh. I love it. 

Just When I thought I was Over You- It's a little longer of a fic, but I stopped reading halfway because I was done with the plot going on forever. But nonetheless, I came back to it and I do not regret finishing this one. 

Home- Yongguk got me in this one. I loved this fanfic. There were a few plot twist here and there and the action was fantastic. I really enjoyed the fact that she was not a damsel in distress the entire story. 

Come Back Home- The sequel to Home. I am not caught up reading it, but it is just beautiful. The way Eun Ah is in CBH is just all over. It is not a disappointment since I usually am not a fan of sequels, this one is perfect.

In Another Life, I will Love You Again- I am not a big fan when it comes to OTP's but this one is just admirable with how Sehun and Kai's relationship is in this one. 

Irresistibly Wicked- I read this fanfic twice and I am completely, and utterly in love with it. Kai, Sehun and Luhan add so much to the drama and it's so angsty and I love it. 

Betray Me Not- I also read this twice and I cannot help but enjoy it both times. Kai is once again the main character. The romance is not as evident in here than some other ones, but it is still cute and a little dramatic. 

Daddy's Little Girl- Honestly, this one hit my feels with Kai and his teenage daughter. The ending was worth it. The length is not long compared to most, but it is with detail and the effort placed in it is superb. I love the way it flows in a soft way. Some parts are more dramatic and it just ends up being perfect. 

 Jongin's Precious Girl- The spinoff to DLG. I think this one is cute in a way. The love story is simply beautiful and bittersweet. 

Thug Wife- It's worth it. It's  little lengthy, but it is definitely worth the read. It has a little angst in it and it feeds the cravings that may be there. It is a work of art, this one. 

[milky-ho]

Ride or Die

Title: Ride or Die

Pairing: Kai and OC

One-shot 

Summary: Kai and Aejin have been dating for a few years, but when the stress and amount of love build upon each other, the two are reminded that no matter what, they'll fight till the end. 

(x)

The engines roared to life as the crowd watched in anticipation as the woman raised her red cloth in the air. Her arms raised, tugging her shirt up higher showcasing her midriff more than before. Her bleached blonde hair was curled and her short, black skirt rose up her thighs. Her hot pink lips curled up in a smile as she looked at the cars in front of her. The revving of the engine sent shivers down her spine, knowing the racers were waiting for her call. She glanced to her side and saw her friend giving her a smile. She threw the cloth to the ground and stepped out of the way before the fabric touched the ground. The cars sped off, following each other as they began the race. The girl’s looked at each other and grinned, as if knowing the outcome. The blonde moved towards her friend who was looking with big, excited eyes.

“How did I do?” The blonde asked, tossing her hair behind her shoulder.

A laugh escaped her lips as she looked at her friend. “The same as always, Rin.”

“Tao’s racing again, Ae,“ Hyorin said with a smile on her face.

Aejin looked at Hyorin and smiled at her lightly. She moved her long, black hair out of the way as she looked at the group of guys to her left waiting for their friend’s to finish. “And?” Aejin asked, looking at Hyorin who had a grin on her face.

“Your boy is going to win the race again,” she said, turning around to see the cars pass the finish line. A black and orange, Mazda RX-7 crossed the line, zooming past the group of waiting people. “He did it again!” She shouted in excitement, running with the crowd to the car.

Sora stayed back and watched as Kai climbed out of the car. She smiled at him from afar. “He did it again,” she said to herself. Her head turned as she heard the other cars come closer. She saw Tao’s white, Nissan Silvia s14 pull up in front of her. “You did good, Tao,” she said with an encouraging smile.

Tao got out of his car and looked at Sora with a frown. “That bastard beat me again,” he growled, looking at Kai who was making his way towards them. Tao fixed his black leather jacket and cracked his neck a few times.

Aejin laughed at his actions before turning her attention to Kai who had on a black, studded leather jacket with a black tank top on and black skinny jeans. His black hair was gelled up today. He had a smirk on his face as he looked at Aejin who was standing with her smile on her face. Her hands stuffed inside her jacket pocket she wore over her black skirt that reached her mid thigh and covered her white, lace shirt that Kai had bought for her the other day.

“I won,” he said with a proud smile on his face as he wrapped his right arm around her thin waist.

“You did,” she laughed, kissing his cheek. “You’re okay,” Aejin said softly to herself. Kai heard it though. He always hears it and he can’t help but smile at her words. She worried about him all of the time and before every race, she would tell him to be careful, reminding him that she would be waiting for him whether he wins or loses.

“Stop, please,” Tao said in mock disgust, looking away from the couple in front of him.

“Go somewhere else then,” Kai muttered, earning himself a nudge in the rib from Aejin. “Or we can go somewhere else,” he said, looking at his girlfriend who nodded her head.

“We can go and get a late dinner,” she said with hopeful eyes.

Kai let out a low chuckle and nodded his head, agreeing to his girlfriend’s request. She smiled at him and went towards his car with Kai’s arm still wrapped around her waist. “How did you think I did?” He asked her.

“Great as always,” Aejin replied. She looked at Kai and saw his smile growing bigger. She felt the butterflies in her stomach begin to fly a little higher at the sight of his smile she loves. Aejin felt Kai let go of her waist as they neared his car. She walked over to his passenger side while Kai went to the drivers.

The two entered his car and Kai started his engine after Baekhyun and Chanyeol gave him the okay. Kai left the track and went onto the highway as they headed back towards Seoul. The race was held on the outskirts of Seoul where not that many people were at during this time of the night. They had to leave at five so Kai could get his car checked by his team (Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Sehun, Suho and Kyungsoo), so the two missed out on dinner.

“Chinese food?” Kai asked, changing his gear as he exited the highway. A small ‘yes’ was said by Aejin as she looked at Kai. He had one hand on the wheel and the other on the on the clutch.

Aejin fixed his radio to her liking as she placed Kai’s favorite CD in. She thought his taste in music was okay. Not really to her liking. Kai was more into the hip-hop scene than she was. Aejin preferred a more softer beat. But of course, loving someone too much made her listen to his songs even if the lyrics made no sense or they talked about dope half of the time along with having sex with girls every night, she still listened to it with him, occasionally rapping with the artist when she knew parts of the lyrics.

“You scared me today,” Aejin said, lowering the volume of the music after a few minutes of silence. She looked at Kai and saw him look at her for a brief second before looking back to the road. “I say this every time, but I do mean it today,” she confessed. Aejin was always scared for Kai. He was a racer and she knew that at any moment something could go wrong with his car, or another driver might crash into him or when he finishes his brakes might not work. She was always scared for him. Whenever they left for one of his races, she always made sure to tell him good luck and that she loved him whether he won or lost-- but she knew he would win. He always won a race.

“I know,” he quietly said. Kai saw Aejin’s eyes were full of concern and love. He knew she wasn’t scolding him for being reckless, she was saying these words because she would hurt if he hurt, she would cry if he cried. Kai knew Aejin would do anything for him and it hurt his heart that he had the power to do that, but he would do anything for Aejin as well. He wouldn’t leave her for the trophy, heck, he could care less about the trophy or the money he received from winning, Kai would pick Aejin any day. “I didn’t mean to,” he told her.

Aejin shifted in the passenger seat as she looked at Kai. She could tell he was happy about winning, but she couldn’t help but feel her heart hurt because Kai was always rushing on the tracks. He was aiming to win and it scared her to death. “I know you didn’t mean to,” she looked away from him and saw the familiar, bright lights of Seoul welcoming them into the city once again. “I am always terrified when you go out there though, Jongin,” Aejin said softly. Her eyes went back to Kai as he continued to drive. Her fingers began playing with the fabric of her skirt, looking at the male beside her.

Kai pulled to the side of the street when the two reached the Chinese restaurant they always go to for their travels back home. He stopped the engine, allowing the two to sit in silence for a few minutes. He looked at his girlfriend as he rested his arms on the steering wheel. Kai laid his head on his arms, not looking away from the girl. A sigh escaped his lips when he saw her look away from him. “I’m sorry,” he said “It’s been hard on us for the past couple of months, Ae.” Kai saw Aejin’s eyes fill up with tears hearing the words he had to say. “I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing, but I don’t want you to leave me,” he whispered.

“I won’t,” Aejin croaked. She looked at Kai and saw his tired eyes and couldn't help but let her tears fall as she leaned her head against the window. “I won’t ever leave you,” she repeated herself, bringing her sleeves to her face, trying her best to wipe away the tears that continued to fall.

Kai sat up and pulled his girlfriend into his embrace, enveloping her in his arms. He could care less about his shirt getting wet or her makeup running down her face, she needed him like he needed her. Kai knew she was wearing down thin, he knew that she was so close to losing it, but she’s staying and it’s hurting his heart to see her like this. “Kwon Aejin,” he breathed her name out, burying his face in her hair, inhaling her intoxicating scent as if it was his oxygen. She was his oxygen, he needed her to live, to wake up in the morning, to come home to. “You have me losing my mind the way you got me fired up. I don’t know what to do without you.” Kai heard Aejin’s muffled sob against his jacket.

His right hand ran through her soft, straight black hair. His heart was in pain hearing her cries. Aejin shouldn’t be crying, she should be smiling and laughing at a funny story that Kai should be telling her. But the last three months have been harder than usual. It was just a bump in the road. Every couple goes through it, but only a few make it out together.

“I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to you,” she sobbed.

Kai held her tighter, rocking her back in forth. “I know, love,” his voice came out gentle. “I don’t know what to do without you if something happens.”

“It hurts me some days, Jongin,” Aejin said, heart breaking as her mind went into a small hole. She felt herself standing still but her mind was falling. “Don’t let me slip,” she mumbled.

“I told you before, baby girl,” he said, “I grow, you grow with me, go broke, you go broke with me, I love, you love with me.” Kai felt Aejin nod her head. “I won’t let you slip. I’m holding on so tight, love. I don’t think you can slip from me.”

Kai pulled Aejin away from his body and gently wiped away her tears. Kai felt his heart constricting in his chest like a python had wrapped it’s body around the muscle. She was worn down and he could do nothing but watch her bleed from her chest. Is this the price one pays for love? Is this the price one pays to have someone by their side?

“I’ll get you that house you want, Aejin,” Kai said. “I’ll give you the ring you want, the wedding that you want, I’ll get you the life you want, Ae,” he told her, cupping her face in his palms. “Life is just hitting us too hard. It’s hitting me too hard.”

“Ride or die,” she murmured.

Kai smiled at her, his lips quirking up a little. “Ride or die."

[milky-ho]

Three Weeks || Snippet

Title: Three Weeks   Pairing: Exo-m and OC's Chapter 4: Real talk Summary: After a long day, the brothers are sitting in the living room while their wives and children are asleep upstairs. They believe that it's time to sit down after years of not seeing each other. 

Read here as well (x) 

The six brothers gathered around in the living room after their parents had went off to bed while their wives and the two kids were upstairs talking amongst themselves. Xiumin cleared his throat as he looked at his five younger brothers who were still in shock about the news of their father-- with the exception of Tao and Yixing.

“We need to know what to do,” he let out a sigh as he thought about his parents. “We’ve been gone for so long and now we’re here.” Xiumin covered his face with both of his hands as he inhaled.

“What are we supposed to do?” Yi Fan asked as he closed his eyes and tried to think, racking his brain for an answer that may help their family.

“Forget about everything we did,” Chen answered solemnly, making the rest look at him with raised brows. “You expect us to stay here with all of the things we did? Do you really want mama and baba to look at their sons and ask where we went wrong?” Chen let out a dry laugh as he looked at his brothers.

“Real talk then,” Luhan stated. “I’m going to get this off my chest if that’s fine with you guys,” he looked at his brothers, his eyes ignited in flames of anger at the moment. When no one said anything, he took the initiative to begin.  “I didn’t enjoy the pain Yi Fan put mama and baba through when you ran away because of a girl,” he shot the said male a glare. “You left home and you ran away because you thought you would find her, but no, you didn’t find her did you, you dumb ass.”

Yi Fan looked at his older brother with wide eyes. “We said we’d never bring that up again,” he stood up from his seat and looked at Luhan with angry eyes. “I came back, didn’t I?”

“After two weeks of leaving home and going from place to place, following her like a lost puppy because she “promised” that she’d be with you forever,” Chen added to the small feud. Yi Fan let out a scoff at his younger brother. “You weren’t there to see how crazy they went because of you.”

“And after you were done with college, you and Ting Na left us to go to Beijing before moving again and getting married,” Tao fumed.

“Stop,” Yi Fan said. “Just stop talking about me like I was the only one who did bad things to them!” He shouted at them. “You all did something that broke the family and you can’t even say that I was the main cause for this because you know what, after we all lost--”

“Don’t even say anything,” Xiumin warned him, sending him a glare. “Don’t even bring it up at all. That’s something that we promised that would never be brought up again.” Yi Fan looked at his oldest brother and saw the sadness in his eyes. “We are never talking about it again.”

“Fine,” Yi Fan said quietly, dropping the subject. His eyes landed on Luhan who started the blaming game and he sent him a glare. “You’re the dumbest,  piece of shit, Lu,” he said angrily. “You did some stupid things back in the day and because of you mama and baba had to bust your ass out of trouble so many times.”

“You need to quiet yourself down right now,” Luhan growled. “My wife doesn’t know anything about it and she doesn’t need to know from you,” he stood up from the sofa and made his way towards Yi Fan despite the warnings his brothers said to him. He looked at the taller male and shoved him away. Yi Fan looked at his brother with wide eyes at what he did to him.

Before Yi Fan could do anything, Xiumin interviened, pushing the two away from each other. “If you idiots are going to fight, do it outside where no one has to clean up after you two,” he warned them.

“Min Shou,” Xiumin turned around at the sound of his wife’s calm and quiet voice. “Where did you put Min Hoa’s snacks?” She asked as she adjusted her gray, oversized, tee-shirt.

“You look pretty Jie-jie,” Tao commented as he looked at his sister-in-law in her pajamas (which consisted of her tee-shirt and a pair of black boxers which he assumed was also Xiumins.) that earned him a small jab to the stomach from Yixing, telling him to shut his mouth before Xiumin exploded on them again.

“I placed them in the pantry,” Xiumin replied softly as he watched his wife nod her head and made her way over towards the kitchen then returning a few moments later with the container of rice cereal. “Is he okay?” He asked her, before she went back upstairs to the room they were staying in.

“He’s restless,” she smiled at him, “But he’ll sleep soon.”

“I’ll be up soon to put him to bed then,” Xiumin told Li Hua who nodded her head.

“Don’t work yourself up, ai ren,” she said to him before she went up the stairs and into the hallway.

“You idiot,” Chen sighed as he smacked Tao on the back of the head. “You don’t say that to your sister-in-law.”

“Especially when her husband is angry,” Yixing added as he watched his younger brother rub the spot where he was hit.  He shook his head, disappointed at how he acted so casually, especially towards Li Hua, as if they were the best of friends and she wouldn’t get embarrassed at his comment.

“We can’t bring up anything from the past,” Chen said as he rested his elbows on his knees. “Nothing can be talked about from back then.” He eyed Luhan and Yi Fan as the two sent a glare at each other, as if blaming each other.

“We have to think about our family,” Yixing said. “Mama and baba aren’t stable right now and we can’t stress them anymore with our old feuds from lifetimes ago. Baba isn’t the same anymore. He misses us a lot and--”

“Mama and baba cried to me the other week over the phone. Mama was so scared that she’d lose baba after she lost us,” Tao sniffled. The four quiet brothers felt their hearts sink at the thought of their parents crying. They didn’t deserve this and if God was playing a foul game with them, then let them loose, but not with the loss of someone precious. “Mama misses her, too.” Tao began to cry after those words escaped his lips. Yixing brought his head into his chest and began to tell him it was okay, just like he did back in the day.

“They don’t know at all,” Luhan said quietly. His voice drained from it’s usual tone. “I’ve only told Fang Yi after a year of being married to her, she doesn't know anything about what happened,” Luhan’s voice cracked as he began to have a breakdown. His mind began recalling all of the memories from ten years ago. The way she looked that night and how she got drunk and -- Luhan let out a small, frustrated cry.

“Get Fang Yi,” Yixing instructed as Xiumin and Yi Fan tried to calm down Luhan who was close to hyperventilating. Chen got up from the sofa and made his way upstairs as fast as he could and retrieved Fang Yi, informing her of Luhan’s situation.

The two arrived in the living room and immediately, Fang Yi made her way towards her husband, who was lying on the ground in a fetal position. She gently took his hands in hers and called his name, telling him to breathe. The five brothers watched in pain and pity as the second oldest continued to cry for and how his wife was comforting him. Feeling helpless, Xiumin and Yi Fan stepped back from the two.

"Come on, Han," Fang Yi calmly said. "You need to snap out of it. It's over, okay? It's all over, love." She continued to repeat herself as she pulled Luhan into a small hug and began to pat his back in a soothing manner. "Nothing is going to happen, okay? Everything is fine," Fang Yi told him as Luhan began to breathe normally again. She cradled them back and forth and began humming a song that always seemed to calm Luhan down.

She felt her heart constrict the moment his tears began to soak her shirt. She could feel the sweat from his forehead on the crook of her neck and was thankful her hair was down at the moment because it gave Luhan a small curtain to hide from his brothers. "Are you ready to go to sleep now, Han?" She softly asked as she patted his back. Luhan nodded his head. Fang Yi smiled then looked at her brother-in-laws,  motioning them to gently help him up. Yi Fan and Chen helped Fang Yi up as she held onto an unstable Luhan and led him up the stairs with Chen and Yi Fan following behind the two in case something happened. When they made it to their room,  Fang Yi thanked the two before she closed the door.

The six brothers gathered around in the living room after their parents had went off to bed while their wives and the two kids were upstairs talking amongst themselves. Xiumin cleared his throat as he looked at his five younger brothers who were still in shock about the news of their father-- with the exception of Tao and Yixing.

“We need to know what to do,” he let out a sigh as he thought about his parents. “We’ve been gone for so long and now we’re here.” Xiumin covered his face with both of his hands as he inhaled.

“What are we supposed to do?” Yi Fan asked as he closed his eyes and tried to think, racking his brain for an answer that may help their family.

“Forget about everything we did,” Chen answered solemnly, making the rest look at him with raised brows. “You expect us to stay here with all of the things we did? Do you really want mama and baba to look at their sons and ask where we went wrong?” Chen let out a dry laugh as he looked at his brothers.

“Real talk then,” Luhan stated. “I’m going to get this off my chest if that’s fine with you guys,” he looked at his brothers, his eyes ignited in flames of anger at the moment. When no one said anything, he took the initiative to begin.  “I didn’t enjoy the pain Yi Fan put mama and baba through when you ran away because of a girl,” he shot the said male a glare. “You left home and you ran away because you thought you would find her, but no, you didn’t find her did you, you dumb ass.”

Yi Fan looked at his older brother with wide eyes. “We said we’d never bring that up again,” he stood up from his seat and looked at Luhan with angry eyes. “I came back, didn’t I?”

“After two weeks of leaving home and going from place to place, following her like a lost puppy because she “promised” that she’d be with you forever,” Chen added to the small feud. Yi Fan let out a scoff at his younger brother. “You weren’t there to see how crazy they went because of you.”

“And after you were done with college, you and Ting Na left us to go to Beijing before moving again and getting married,” Tao fumed.

“Stop,” Yi Fan said. “Just stop talking about me like I was the only one who did bad things to them!” He shouted at them. “You all did something that broke the family and you can’t even say that I was the main cause for this because you know what, after we all lost--”

“Don’t even say anything,” Xiumin warned him, sending him a glare. “Don’t even bring it up at all. That’s something that we promised that would never be brought up again.” Yi Fan looked at his oldest brother and saw the sadness in his eyes. “We are never talking about it again.”

“Fine,” Yi Fan said quietly, dropping the subject. His eyes landed on Luhan who started the blaming game and he sent him a glare. “You’re the dumbest,  piece of shit, Lu,” he said angrily. “You did some stupid things back in the day and because of you mama and baba had to bust your ass out of trouble so many times.”

“You need to quiet yourself down right now,” Luhan growled. “My wife doesn’t know anything about it and she doesn’t need to know from you,” he stood up from the sofa and made his way towards Yi Fan despite the warnings his brothers said to him. He looked at the taller male and shoved him away. Yi Fan looked at his brother with wide eyes at what he did to him.

Before Yi Fan could do anything, Xiumin interviened, pushing the two away from each other. “If you idiots are going to fight, do it outside where no one has to clean up after you two,” he warned them.

“Min Shou,” Xiumin turned around at the sound of his wife’s calm and quiet voice. “Where did you put Min Hoa’s snacks?” She asked as she adjusted her gray, oversized, tee-shirt.

“You look pretty Jie-jie,” Tao commented as he looked at his sister-in-law in her pajamas (which consisted of her tee-shirt and a pair of black boxers which he assumed was also Xiumins.) that earned him a small jab to the stomach from Yixing, telling him to shut his mouth before Xiumin exploded on them again.

“I placed them in the pantry,” Xiumin replied softly as he watched his wife nod her head and made her way over towards the kitchen then returning a few moments later with the container of rice cereal. “Is he okay?” He asked her, before she went back upstairs to the room they were staying in.

“He’s restless,” she smiled at him, “But he’ll sleep soon.”

“I’ll be up soon to put him to bed then,” Xiumin told Li Hua who nodded her head.

“Don’t work yourself up, ai ren,” she said to him before she went up the stairs and into the hallway.

“You idiot,” Chen sighed as he smacked Tao on the back of the head. “You don’t say that to your sister-in-law.”

“Especially when her husband is angry,” Yixing added as he watched his younger brother rub the spot where he was hit.  He shook his head, disappointed at how he acted so casually, especially towards Li Hua, as if they were the best of friends and she wouldn’t get embarrassed at his comment.

“We can’t bring up anything from the past,” Chen said as he rested his elbows on his knees. “Nothing can be talked about from back then.” He eyed Luhan and Yi Fan as the two sent a glare at each other, as if blaming each other.

“We have to think about our family,” Yixing said. “Mama and baba aren’t stable right now and we can’t stress them anymore with our old feuds from lifetimes ago. Baba isn’t the same anymore. He misses us a lot and--”

“Mama and baba cried to me the other week over the phone. Mama was so scared that she’d lose baba after she lost us,” Tao sniffled. The four quiet brothers felt their hearts sink at the thought of their parents crying. They didn’t deserve this and if God was playing a foul game with them, then let them loose, but not with the loss of someone precious. “Mama misses her, too.” Tao began to cry after those words escaped his lips. Yixing brought his head into his chest and began to tell him it was okay, just like he did back in the day.

“They don’t know at all,” Luhan said quietly. His voice drained from it’s usual tone. “I’ve only told Fang Yi after a year of being married to her, she doesn't know anything about what happened,” Luhan’s voice cracked as he began to have a breakdown. His mind began recalling all of the memories from ten years ago. The way she looked that night and how she got drunk and -- Luhan let out a small, frustrated cry.

“Get Fang Yi,” Yixing instructed as Xiumin and Yi Fan tried to calm down Luhan who was close to hyperventilating. Chen got up from the sofa and made his way upstairs as fast as he could and retrieved Fang Yi, informing her of Luhan’s situation.

The two arrived in the living room and immediately, Fang Yi made her way towards her husband, who was lying on the ground in a fetal position. She gently took his hands in hers and called his name, telling him to breathe. The five brothers watched in pain and pity as the second oldest continued to cry for and how his wife was comforting him. Feeling helpless, Xiumin and Yi Fan stepped back from the two.

"Come on, Han," Fang Yi calmly said. "You need to snap out of it. It's over, okay? It's all over, love." She continued to repeat herself as she pulled Luhan into a small hug and began to pat his back in a soothing manner. "Nothing is going to happen, okay? Everything is fine," Fang Yi told him as Luhan began to breathe normally again. She cradled them back and forth and began humming a song that always seemed to calm Luhan down.

She felt her heart constrict the moment his tears began to soak her shirt. She could feel the sweat from his forehead on the crook of her neck and was thankful her hair was down at the moment because it gave Luhan a small curtain to hide from his brothers. "Are you ready to go to sleep now, Han?" She softly asked as she patted his back. Luhan nodded his head. Fang Yi smiled then looked at her brother-in-laws,  motioning them to gently help him up. Yi Fan and Chen helped Fang Yi up as she held onto an unstable Luhan and led him up the stairs with Chen and Yi Fan following behind the two in case something happened. When they made it to their room,  Fang Yi thanked the two before she closed the door.

Before the two made it to the staircase, they saw their six brothers making their way up the steps. "It's been a long night," Yixing explained. "We're calling it a day."

[milky-ho]

A Soldier's Wife || Snippet

"It was so hard, Jongin," she confessed to him. Her small, fragile hands held onto his bigger and warmer ones. "I was so scared that Ara would cry too much or I wouldn't be good enough for her, but I was wrong,” she sniffed. Aejin looked at her husband and let out a small laugh. He was always going to come home. As long as he was married to her, as long as he was the father of Ara and the brother-in-law of Daeho, he will always come back come to her.

"I am always scared to send you off when you get deployed," she confessed to her husband. He turned his head to her and saw the fear in her eyes. "I get scared when someone knocks on my door, or if I see another man in uniform in the neighborhood. I get scared when Ara cries because you're not here to hear it late at night," Kai saw she was close to tears as she spoke to him of her insecurities. She was so sad and heartbroken that it made Kai's own heart break.

"Why, love?" He asked her. "I'll always be here for you. I'll always come back home so don't cry," he told her, wiping away her tears from her face. She nodded her head as she continued to cry to him. He wondered if this is how all of his family members felt. He knew his mother was scared to lose him, as well as his father, but what about everyone else? Is this how Kris and Tao felt like as well? Is this how Ting Na and Ya Li feel like when their husband's go off to Japan?

Aejin looked at the older male in front of her. She saw his brown eyes sparkling with light-- hope that she will listen to him and of course she would. She would do anything for the man in front of her. "Kim Jongin," she said softly. "It hurts me to see you leave for so long," she said quietly. Her voice was giving up on her as her tears fell from her pretty eyes that Kai fell in love with. He felt the drops of water land on his thumb that hasn't moved from her face.

Kai gave Aejin an encouraging smile as he nodded his head, understanding where she was coming from. He's always scared before his departure. Kai could never sit still when Aejin told him to sleep. He would want to move around and help her out, but he knew her way of copping with him leaving. Kai would sort-of cry in the shower when he's getting ready to leave. He was sad now that he's found a reason to stay in Seoul. But he knew Aejin had Daeho and Daeho is always reliable when it came to his older sister. He was a good kid who was excited for his sister to have a baby. Being the youngest in the house had it's perks, but when he became lonely, he was lonely. He was bored and restless which made Aejin glad some days since she could go out without Kai in town, but other days it was harder.

[milky-ho]

Paper Heart || snippet

The two arrived in Kai’s bachelor pad after receiving their food along with some leftovers from another batch she cooked prior. Aejin took off her heels and stepped into his apartment that was decorated with a minimalist style of style, contrasting to what she had thought it would look like. It was very clean, maybe because he was barely home. Kai led her to the living room and said for her to sit on the sofa while he went to get spoon’s , chopsticks, plates and cups for the drinks they bought at the corner store. Aejin opened the food and placed them neatly on the coffee table while waiting for Kai to return. She looked around his apartment and noticed his bookshelf that stood beside his small, flat screen t.v. and saw his picture frames of him with, who she assumed to be, his family and saw numerous photos of him with three dogs next to him. “Here you go,” Kai said, handing her the utensils sand setting the plates and cups on the table in front of them as he sat down beside her. “Let’s eat,” he grinned at Aejin and opened the drinks and poured them in the cup. Aejin looked at him and smiled, seeing him eating happily as if this is the best meal he has received since his return from Japan. Kai turned his head from the t.v. to see Aejin looking at him, making her look away in embarrassment. She heard him chuckle softly and couldn’t help but enjoy the sound. She took a bite of her food and fell in love with the taste. “It’s good, right?” Kai asked, eating his food and looking at her in curiosity. She nodded her head. “It’s the best,” she said, taking a bit of Kai’s portion. “I can’t believe I’ve never heard of the place before,” she pouted as she continued to eat her food. “It’s been a secret until I told you,” he winked at her playfully before the two erupted in laughter. As the night prolonged, the two laughed to no end with the company of food and drinks. He shared parts of his life and so did Aejin. She found out that Kai had two sisters and his parents lived in Seoul but on the other side of town and he had three dogs that were with his oldest sister currently until he was going to be placed in a permanent residence-- which he hoped would happen soon, but he said he wouldn’t mind being brought back and forth since he has no one to worry about. He talked about how being away from home was and shared stories of Kris and the rest of the guys during their tour. Aejin laughed when she heard of his first thought of Chanyeol: crazy drunk. But of course, anyone who has ever met the giant knew he was the kindest, dorkiest person ever-- someone who could always bring a smile to your face when you’re down. By the time it was four in the morning the drinks have been long gone and the food finished. Aejin tugged her shirt down as she felt the cool air around her midriff. She moved her hair out of the way and rested her head tiredly on a pillow as she watched Kai pick up the trash. Aejin had told him she would help him clean up, but of course, he denied her, telling her it was his apartment and she was his guest. Kai had disappeared and went off towards the right side of the apartment for a minute before coming out with pillows and blankets in his arms. She watched him, wondering what he was doing. Kai looked at her and smiled. “There’s a few spare towels in my bathroom and there’s, I believe, two different face wash you can use to wipe off your makeup,” he told her, continuing to spread the blankets on the floor. “I’ll go and get you some clothes from my closet so you can change into something comfortable before you go to sleep.” Aejin nodded her head and got up from the ground and started walking and went off to the right where she had gone to hours before. She saw the towels on his counter neatly stacked that she didn’t notice before. She looked at his neat bathroom this time, unlike before when she quickly peed and washed her hands before leaving to return back to Kai. Aejin looked at the face wash and realized she uses the same ones as he did. She smiled and tied her long, curled hair back and turned the faucet on, letting the water warm up before she washed her face. When she was done, she patted her face lightly and went out of the bathroom in search for Kai. She entered the living room and saw him knocked out with a blanket over him. He had a white tee-shirt placed on the coffee table. She walked over and took the clothes then returned to the bathroom then returned to the living room, shutting off the lights then slept on the floor with Kai with a different blanket covering her body.

[milky-ho]

Love So Strong

She closed her eyes and imagined a world without him. She imagined a life without him. But she couldn't. She didn't see a life without him by her side. Ahri turned to lay on her right and looked out the crack of the window where she saw the moon glowing brightly. It was almost midnight and she was wondering where the hell Myungsoo was at the moment. He's been gone all night and she wasn't sure if it was a good thing. 

Ahri heard the front door open and she knew it was Myungsoo. She pulled the blanket to cover her head and closed her eyes. Ahri heard the bedroom door open and floor creaked as he stepped into the room. She heard him let out a small noise of disappointment before going into their walk-in closet to change out of the clothing he was wearing for the entire day. He went to their bathroom to take a shower. 

Ahri threw the blanket off of her as she looked at the bathroom door where her husband was and let out a small grunt as she looked at her phone and began to play a game until Myungsoo was done with his shower. Ahri felt a little angry that Myungsoo had been gone the whole night when he had said he's be home before midnight when right now was close to one thirty. 

Myungsoo opened the bathroom door and saw Ahri on her phone. A smile appeared on his face as he dried his hair with his small, royal blue towel around his neck. "Hi, honey," he said, walking towards their closet to get dressed in his black, Calvin Klein boxer briefs. "I thought you were sleeping," he looked at her as he continued to dry his hair. 

"Put lotion on," Ahri told him, "It's cold out and your skin gets dry." She didn't look up from her phone as Myungsoo nodded his head and went to place lotion on his face and chap stick on his lips. 

"Are you mad at me?" He asked her, climbing into bed when he had closed the lights and doors to the bathroom and closet. 

Ahri turned her phone off and turned around to face Myungsoo. She shook her head as her husband intertwined their fingers together-- a habit the two had developed ages ago. "I'm not mad at you," she said softly. 

"Are you sure?" Myungsoo brushed her loose strand of hair out of her face as he looked at her pretty eyes in the dark. He saw the twinkle in them and asked himself why a girl this perfect would ever love him like she does. "Sorry I came home late," he said, giving her hand a soft squeeze. 

"It's okay," she told him, "As long as you're here in bed with me it's fine." Ahri knew her words were partially true. She was, after all, a little angry that he returned late doing god-knows-what, but she knew he would never do anything stupid. 

He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "The guys wanted to drink more so I dropped Sungyeol and Sungjong off then came home," he explained to her.

Ahri nodded her head before closing her eyes. She knew her husband didn't intend to leave her so long. In all honesty, she didn't mean to stay up this late for him. But it felt wrong to sleep without him, even when she had gone out of town for her family's crisis, leaving Myungsoo for only two days, she knew she was off without him. 

"Go to sleep, love," he said quietly. Ahri nodded her head and squeezed his hand before drifting off to sleep. 

[milky-ho]

Love Like No Other || Snippet

“Happy birthday, Guk,” she said, handing him the envelope. Yongguk stood up and took the envelope in his hand and wrapped his arms around his wife, giving her a peck on her lips. “Thank you, love,” he said softly, letting his arms release her from his embrace. He took the card out and read it’s content, a smile forming on his lips as he saw her sweet words of love, encouragement and thanks. He looked up at Hye Ju when he read the last line of the message. She was looking at him with careful eyes at how he would react with the news. “Guk,” she said, “Honey, talk to me.” She took a step towards her husband who had a dumb smile on his face. “Hye Ju,” he said, voice filled with excitement. “When did you find out, baby girl?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “We’re going to be parents, Ju! I’m going to be a dad!” Yongguk lifted his wife up off her feet. Hye Ju wrapped her legs around his waist while her arms were around his neck, Yongguk placed light pecks on her lips, setting her on the countertop. “Last week,” she revealed, “I found out last week that I’m pregnant with our baby.” She noticed Yongguk’s eyes shining brighter and his smile was wider making her heart beat faster than normal. She was happy her husband was taking the news nicely. She knew Yongguk loved kids and had always dreamed about having kids of his own and now, his dream was coming true. Hye Ju was pregnant and they would start their family off nicely.

[milky-ho]

When He Loves

Sirens rang throughout the empty, quiet streets as they neared the house. Sitting on the black, leather sofa, he softly laid his head on the cushioned back, tilting his head so it pointed towards the ceiling with his eyes closed. His lips slightly parted as he waited with his hands neatly in his lap. Tao's light blue sweatshirt clinging onto his toned body and his dark gray sweats gave him the appearance of someone who was going to sleep. A sigh escaped his lips as he felt his heavy heart weigh his entire body deeper into the beaten down sofa. Silently, a smile stretched it’s way onto his face as he began to feel the way his heart began to beat in a painful manner only to have him let out a loud, empty laugh. Tao opened his eyes and felt his tears on the verge of falling. So stupid, he thought to himself as he continued to laugh the pain away. Tao felt the tears leave his face as the sirens got louder and louder. A painful sob escaped his lips when he was too slow to catch it before it could escape his chapped, light pink lips. He heard the sirens stop outside his apartment and knew what was going to happen to him. Painfully, he continued to let out his sobs as the tears continued to flow down his cheeks. He didn’t try to stop his cries as they continued to grow louder and louder as he waited patiently. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not to him that is. He was supposed to go to college and finish his schooling for his masters not this, oh no, not this. Tao felt his heart grew heavier as the seconds passed and he could hear the cracking of it-- the painful cracking of his own heart, the shatters of the fragile glass heart of his that was breaking and continuing to break with every moment given to him. Another laugh escaped his lips as he thought about the events that lead to his. The way his mind became hazy didn’t help the situation at all. The heavy weight in his stomach grew to the point where he could no longer feel anything as his body began to be consumed by the new sensation of numbness. It was a strange, foreign feeling at first, but he learned to deal with it. He heard the pounding on his door and the demands to open. Tao sat up as he began to collect himself. He wasn’t going to do anything. He wasn’t going to do whatever the hell they wanted him to do, they could come right in and take him if they wanted to, and so they did. Tao heard his front door being kicked opened and a group of men came rushing in only to find him on the sofa. “Help me,” Tao said softly, in the most broken voice he owned. His light brown eyes looked at the men in front of him and he saw their looks of pity and sadness etched in their eyes. “I don’t care what happens to me,” he said softly, “Just help me. Help her.” A police officer took a careful step towards Tao. He had a small smile displayed on his face. “Tell us who this her is,” he had made his way to Tao and sat on the sofa beside him. He motioned two of his men to look around the apartment while the other two stayed closer as they looked around the place. “We’re here to help you, okay?” “I didn’t do it!” Tao cried as he sat up right on the sofa. “I didn’t do it,” he turned his head towards the officer and cried harder. “She did it,” he choked on the words coming from his throat and out of his mouth. The words were heavy on his tongue making it almost impossible for him to continue to speak. “Calm down,” the officer softly said, “Take a deep breath in then exhale.” “Sergeant K, we need a medic now,” one of his men said, coming back from the rooms that sat in the right side of the apartment. “She wouldn’t let me do anything,” Tao explained through ragged breaths. “I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t let me,” his hands were trembling in his laps as the officer made his way towards his men who were tending to the girl. “Inform the medics of the situation we have at hand,” he ordered with a stern voice. “Try to stop the bleeding. Check her pulse,” Srg. Kim turned his head towards a hazed Tao who held onto whatever he had left. He could see the fear and worry in his eyes as he watched medics rush in with a stretcher, lifting the pale, weak girl from the tub and onto the stretcher, moving her out of the apartment. Tao watched her with tears spilling out of his eyes as she left the safety of the apartment and into a hospital for the meanwhile. Srg. Kim made his way to Tao who looked like his soul was sucked out of his body and his body, mind and heart were sadly left behind. “Let’s bring you to the precinct, okay?” He looked at Tao who nodded his head absentmindedly. “We’re going to ask some questions about what happened is that okay with you?” “I don’t care,” he replied to him, “Just take me away from here.”

[milky-ho]

I'll Stay Even If It Hurts

I stared at the ceiling as I tried to collect my thoughts that swam over my head for the past week. I closed my eyes allowing myself to be engulfed in darkness. This wasn't a good idea. It's never a good idea when I think late at night. A sigh escaped my lips as I turned to my side. My back faced the bedroom door while I looked out my covered window. I could see the cracks of light coming from the full moon tonight. I inhaled a deep breath of air and found myself suffocating. I laid on my back again and stretched out my left arm, feeling for the presence of Kyungsoo but I was met with an empty space beside me. Of course. He left me. A bitter smile appeared on my face and I couldn't help but let out another sigh. I told him to leave this morning and he did. He grabbed his car keys and left with only his phone and wallet and probably went over to Baekhyun's house. I couldn't help but get angry at him this morning. I've held it in all week and said nothing to him. I've said nothing and allowed him his freedom. But this-- I couldn't hold it back any longer. My sanity broke and it pained me to see him leave. But he had to understand my point because he shouldn't have brought that guy in our apartment. He shouldn't have brought him into our sacred place. He didn't know I found the two cozy on our bed Sunday night after I was out with Sehun for a dinner plan. He didn't know I left and went to Tao’s place. He didn't know I heard him promise that home wrecker that everything will work out at the end. Oh god, how can I be so stupid to still cherish him for so long? My fingers began to tremble as they latched onto his pillow case that rested beside mines. My throat went dry as I began to murmur his name. Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo. The man with large, wide, soft brown eyes and that adorable heart shaped smile of his. Those soft, pink lips that always had its own way of giving me butterflied and being able to do wonders to my skin and heart. How his delicate fingers would grasp onto mines when we walked out together. Oh how his soft voice when he sang me sleep gave me chills that ran up my spine and down to my soul. He was and is everything to me. But he shouldn't be-- he shouldn't matter to me anymore. My whole entire being aches without him beside me tonight. I miss how he'll hold me hand in his smaller, much more delicate, ones and hum me a lullaby to bring me to sleep and how he'll kiss my forehead a good night while he slips into his own slumber; but he's not here. Do Kyungsoo isn't here anymore. I sat up in the king size bed and reached over to my lamp and turned on the light, allowing myself to not feel so consumed in the darkness any longer. I grabbed my phone and made my way into my contacts and found Baekhyun's number. I taped the green call button and brought the device to my right ear and waited 3 rings until he answered. "Hello," his voice was hoarse as he spoke. "Is Kyungsoo over at your house?" I asked, switching my phone to the other ear as I began to nervously chew on my thumb nail. "He was at the bar earlier around nine," Baekhyun said. I heard him shuffle around his bed as he continued to talk to me. "I saw him with Luhan and Minseok before I left." "I see." My voice came out smaller than I thought it would. "I'll call the two then, hyung." "Alright," he yawned. "Don't stress about it so much, okay, Jong?" He was worried and I know he knew what happened. "Thank you, Baek. Good night. Sorry for bothering you so late at night." "Don't worry about it. What are friends for? Besides, tomorrow's Saturday, I can sleep in." He said, chuckling at his words. We said our goodbyes before hanging up on the phone. Minseok and Luhan. These two were more responsible as human beings. But this isn't the way to really hold a person accountable for someone I should be looking out for. I scrolled down to Luhan's name and pressed the button and waited for him to answer. After four rings, I got connected with him. "Jongin," he breathed out. "Lu--" "Something happened to Minseok and Kyungsoo," I could hear his voice tremble as he spoke into the phone. "We were coming out of the bar since Soo began to drink a little bit too much then-- then someone came out of nowhere and pushed Minseok to the wall knock Kyungsoo to the ground and--" "Where are you now?" I asked, getting off of the bed, kicking the blankets off of me. "St. Johns hospital. I'm waiting for them to be done so the doctors can tell me what happened," his usual calm voice cracked as he began to hyperventilate. "I'll be there in 20 minutes, keep calm until I get there, okay?" I didn’t know if I could keep calm after I hung up on the phone with him. My heart felt like it was ripped apart to shreds. My grip on my phone loosened as I felt the fact that I was now on my way to the hospital to meet Kyungsoo. Oh god, could this day get any worse? I made him leave this morning and now I find out that he’s been placed in the hospital because of him getting drunk. What the hell is actually going to happen? The phone landed on the bed with soft clunk as I began to get dressed to go to the hospital. I grabbed a clean, plain white tee-shirt and a light, red and blue striped cardigan and slipped on a pair of loose jeans before I grabbed my keys, phone and wallet then headed out to see how Kyungsoo and Minseok.