Series Summary: In the fall of 1984, Dove Jones gets roped into helping babysit a gaggle of thirteen year olds with Steve Harrington after she gave her new friend, Max Mayfield, a ride to the old junkyard. She becomes tied into the hell that lies beneath Hawkins and along the way, finds love with Hawkins former King. Together, they experience love, loss, and learn to navigate young adulthood while fighting monsters and the end of the world. But they might be more intertwined with each other and the monsters than they ever expected.
Series CW/TW: slowish burn (you'll understand why I say ish), mutual pining, found family, death, violence, fluff, Panic Attacks, grief, mature themes, smut, crude language.
Authors note: I love to write for fun and I will be taking season five into my hands because canon is MY BITCH. anyway, I think Steve Harrington did deserve a love story with someone who is just as willing to give up their life for others as he is so I wrote this. There will be spelling and grammar errors but eh, who cares, not like this is gonna blow up lol.
ao3 link!
Chapter 1: Lizard Dogs
Chapter 2: The Snowball Dance
Chapter 3: In-betweens
Chapter 4: The Graduation Party
Chapter 5: American Heroes
Chapter 6: Crack the Code
Chapter 7: The Fall of the Wannabe American Hero's
Guys letâs talk about Steve and dove please I beg of you send me asks, comment, please I canât keep bothering my one friend who knows about my fanfic about them sheâs TIRED
summary: Max falls into the curse, but Dove will do anything to save her. And Steve will do anything to save Dove.
warnings: SMUT!!!! Trauma, parental death, scary thoughts, normal ST horror, lmk if I need to add anything else!!
authors note: WE"RE ALL CAUGHT UP ON THIS STORY ON A03. Also I recommend maybe going back and rereading if you can cause somethings have been changed for consistency sake and my sanity!
Chapter 20 | ao3 link
Chapter 21: Aphasia
The trees roll past the Beamer in a blur as something curls around the group in the car. Itâs thick and suffocating, making everyone dizzy as their minds keep rolling over different scenarios and possibilities.Â
Steveâs eyes keep bouncing over to Dove and then to the rearview to look at Max. Road, Dove, Max. Road, Dove, Max. Itâs a constant loop. He runs his hand over his mouth to keep himself from biting it raw.Â
Doveâs knees are drawn up in the seat, holding them to her chest. Her head lulled against the cool glass of the window. Sheâs not really looking at anything but her eyes are stuck in the same spot. Theyâre tearing up from not blinking as often as she should but sheâs not really thinking about that. Sheâs thinking about that tear, the red flicker and how she felt drawn to it. Like she had been drawn to Eddie Munsonâs trailer door the day before.Â
Itâs itching up her throat again as her mind goes over it over and over again. She tries to push it down, stuff it under her mask but the car starts to feel smaller and smaller. Only when Max tells them to turn right into Roane Hill Cemetery is she able to swallow it thickly. Because she canât make this about her. Not when Max's life is on the line.Â
Steve takes the curve around the sign, and Dove feels her throat start getting tighter for another reason. She hasnât been to the cemetery since July, since her motherâs funeral. When the car parks, Max jumps out, storming off as Lucas yells after her.
They take off a little deeper into the cemetery, Lucas talking as Max continues to walk away, Dove opens the passenger door and starts to look in the direction of her momâs grave. Itâs just over a small clearing, near the middle, right next to her dadâs.
In the distance, she can hear Lucas telling Max he doesnât want a letter. Then closer, covering their conversation, she hears Steve open the driverâs door. Doveâs taken a few steps away from the car, toward the clearing.
âHey,â Steve says, gently placing a hand on her back. He knows whatâs just past the clearing. âDo you⊠do you want to go over there?â
Dove sucks in a breath, shrugging her shoulders. âIâm⊠Iâm thinking about it.â
Steve nods. âOkay, okay, letâs go over there. Iâll go with youââ
âNo, IâI should go over there alone, I want to talk to herââ
âHoney, I donât know if you should go alone. I mean, thank God Lucas went with Max, causeââ
âI have to do this alone, Steve,â Dove says, turning to him fully.Â
A breeze cuts through the clearing, the late afternoon air carrying the smell of honeysuckle. Doveâs hair blows in her face, and Steve reaches out and brushes it behind her ear.
âI donât want anything to happen to you,â Steve admits softly. âI donâtâI donât know what Iâd doââ
Dove leans forward, pushing up on her toes and placing her lips on his. The kiss is soft, her hand cupping his cheek gently, with the intention for it to ease his mind. And hers.
When she pulls back, he chases her lips, following her before settling back on his heels.
âThatâs not fair,â he murmurs, but thereâs no real complaint as his lips turn up ever so slightly.
âIâll be just a few minutes, I swear. When Max finishes, come and get me,â Dove says, her thumb rubbing over the stubble on his cheek before dropping her hand.Â
Steve takes a second to look over her face before conceding. He leans forward, both hands cupping her jaw and placing a kiss on her forehead. He keeps his lips there longer than he usually would before he turns back to the car. Leaving Dove by herself and looking toward her parentâs graves.
The grass thatâs still a little dead crunches under her feet as she approaches the two headstones. Itâs solemn and eerie now. A chill settles up her spine. Her mind flashes with the memory of her saying Veronicaâs name in that comms room, the fear in her eyes when she saw her daughter behind the glass, and then the ringing of the shot that killed her.Â
She feels that dark voice, the one she pushed to a far corner of her brain creep out just a bit more. The guilt and shame crawling up her throat, beginning to choke her.
âHi, Mom,â her voice shakes, and a tear falls out of her eye that she wipes away quickly. âNo, Dad, Iâm not crying.â
She chuckles lightly at her own joke, and she hopes her dad wouldâve laughed too.
âUm,â she looks down at her hands, pulling on her fingers slightly as she takes in another shaky breath. âMom, me and Steve are together now. I, uh, know how much you liked him, and even though you didnât directly say itââ she laughs lightlyâ âI think youâd be happy for me.â
Another breeze passes through the cemetery. She tucks her hair behind both her ears and stands in silence, wiping heavy tears from her cheeks.Â
She sucks in a breath, trying to gain composure, trying to cling on to the last bit of her that feels like her. She doesnât want to go back to where she was, she was feeling better. She was handling it. But all her resolve crumbles as the memory of last summer flashes through her brain again.Â
She remembered the way she felt bound to that chair, watching them torture Steve and Robin, feeling that generals hands on her. She shouldnât have survived that night. She shouldnât have walked out of that mall at all.Â
âIâm sorry, Mama, I shouldnât have said your name that day. If I hadnât, you would still be here, but IâI didnât know what I was doing. I was just trying to keep everyone safe. And I tried, and tried but you still died, Billy died, Hopper died. Everything feels so wrong without you here. I shouldâve tried harder, shouldâve run in there to save you andâand now I've lost both of you guys. Itâs all my fault mama, I shouldnâtâI donât.âÂ
She feels like the ground is sinking below her, trying to consume her. Maybe it will, maybe it will finally take her instead of her mom. She wasnât trying to find out secrets she shouldnât. She wasnât snooping and being dumb. Why did she have to die for her daughter's mistakes?Â
âI canât face Anna, or Stephen, or even Grandma. Because I know what happened and I know what I did and it just sucks, Mama. It sucks so fucking much.â
She doesnât even bother wiping the tears coming out of her eyes anymore as she falls to her knees, a hand rising and settling on top of the grave.
âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry,â she whispers.
It takes a full minute for her to get past the point of almost hyperventilating. Her chest still is pressing in on herself and she starts to go numb from it. Finally it settles to a point where she can talk.Â
âI keep having these dreams, or visions, or something, and I thought they were from when we were in the hospital with Dad, but⊠why did we move to Hawkins from New York? I⊠I donât really remember it. I didnât remember any of this until Friday night, and⊠I wish you were here so I could ask you about itâŠâ
Another breeze passes throughâbut this oneâs different. It doesnât carry that same honeysuckle smell. Itâs stale and brings the promise of rain. A storm, charged with lightning and destruction. But the rest of the week calls for good weatherâDove saw it on the news at the Wheelers. And then she remembers that breeze, that change, in the basement of the station, then again at Dustinâs house.Â
She turns her head back to her friends, but everythingâs fine. She sees Steve sitting on the hood of the Beemer, watching Max. Dustinâs propped against the passenger door, fiddling with his walkie, and Lucasâs arms are crossed as he also watches Max just up the hill.
Dove feels a gentler breeze, this one more like early Indiana spring. It ruffles her hair and tickles her cheeks. Giving a sense of normalcy and calm to the edge of the storm clouding her mind. Slowly, she turns back to the grave stones.Â
âI just donât know why I donât remember these⊠visions. You were there, Mom, in the first one. We⊠we talked about how what I was doing was going to help Dad, and I⊠I donât understand why. I just wish I could talk to you.â
Some time must pass as Dove recounts all the visions to her mom, because her knees are starting to hurt from being folded under her. Sheâs picking at a blade of grass from under her as she tries to talk through the memories out loud.
She was at Hawkins Lab. Her parents brought her there. What she was doing was supposed to be helping her dad. Prick her skin, drip something into her, make her sleepy. There were other people there. The little boy. His parents. The doctor. The blonde man. She remembers yelling, blood, fear, so much fear. And then warmth.Â
It all goes away after that. To a point she has physical memories, what sheâs been shown where she can remember what she saw, like watching a movie. But then it just becomes that. Flashes and feelings.Â
The one feeling she can recall the most now is that feeling of fear. It twists in her stomach and crawls up her spin. She can feel it behind her eyes like sheâs being forced to watch something she doesnât want to. It then rings her ears, like someone is telling her things she wants to block out. Itâs all so strange.Â
But Dove tries to keep her focus on her momâs grave, that memory of fear twisting into that darkness taking over her mind. It contorts with the guilt and it slinks out of that corner she shoved it to, winning the internal fight by gaining more ground.Â
Just across the clearing, Steve checks his watch again. His eyes have been bouncing back and forth between the two girls. Dove he can watch breathe and the movement of her talking and wiping a tear. He lingers on her before turning his eyes back to Max, who he had been trying to keep most of his attention on. What he thought would take about five minutes had stretched to tenâŠand now they were closing in on fifteen.Â
And sheâs so still sitting up at the top of that hill, and it might be the distance but he canât see her moving like Dove is. No bounce of her shoulders like if she was talking. It eats at him to check on her, make sure sheâs okay. And when another breeze passes through, something in it stinks and Steve decides itâs time to call it.Â
âAll right, itâs been long enough,â he says, pushing off the car and making his way up the hill, throwing one more look to Dove over his shoulder.
âSteve, just give her some time,â Lucas tries to reason.
âI have, alright, Sinclair?â Steve continues up the hill, body half-turned toward him as he moves up, then he begins walking backward. âIâm calling itâher and Dove. If Mayfield wants to lawyer up, she can.â
He jogs the rest of the way as he calls out, âMax! Time to giddy up, yeah?â
But when he looks down at her, his stomach drops. Her eyes are glazed completely over. The blue completely clouded. He says her name again and again, grabbing her shoulder and shaking it, but she doesnât come out of it.Â
His stomach sinks and nose stings as he fears for the worse. He keeps shaking her shoulder before letting go and clapping in her face. Â
âWake up! Max, please, wake upâhey!â
Down the hill, Lucas and Dustin look up, hearing Steveâs voice raise.Â
Beginning to move up the hill, Lucas mutters, âSomethingâs wrong.â
The next few minutes are a blur. Once up the hill and onto the plateau, theyâre all shaking Maxâs shoulders and saying her name until Steve grabs Dustin by the front of his sweatshirt.Â
âHenderson, go get Dove! Call Nancy and Robin! Go get âem! Go get Dove!â Steve yells frantically, pushing Dustin away and then turning back to Max, holding her face with one hand and shaking her shoulder as he says, âWake up, Max, come on!â
Dustin rolls off the platform of Billyâs grave, tumbling down the hill toward the car and screaming, âDove! Dove, help! Itâs Max! Dove!â
Dove rises from her spot on the ground at the call of her name and sees Dustin barreling toward the Beamer. She stumbles as she stands, taking off toward him, and as she gets closer, she sees Steve and Lucas at the top of the hill, yelling Maxâs name in her face.
âGo help them! Iâm calling Nancy and Robin!â Dustin yells as he reaches inside the open car window for his walkie.
Dove takes off up the hill, stumbling as she yells, âMax!â
And there, right behind Max, is the tearâthe bend of a shadow that isnât thereâ a tear in reality. Dove doesnât need to think about the decision to run into it. A reason, an excuse, proof. A lot of things come to her mind as she goes head first into danger, hoping itâll save Max.Â
While she keeps moving in, running toward the tear and making it through: entering the dark, horror-movie realm of the cemetery, her body doesnât. In the real world, she locks up, stopping right behind Steve, eyes clouded over and her consciousness completely gone. She stands like a statue.Â
âDove,â Steve says, turning back to her, but then his face drops. âNo, no, no, baby, come on, donât do this, Dove, Dove!â
He looks toward Max again, and then back to Dove, and then down to Dustin in the car, yelling, âHurry!â
Dove is sprinting through the cemetery, following the sounds of what she hopes are Maxâs feet thudding.Â
âMax! Max!â she yells out into the dark.Â
Then she hears a deep voice echoing through the cemetery saying, âYou cannot hide from me, Maxine.â
Dove sprints faster, finally spotting red hair hiding just across the way behind a grave. Her gaze is turned toward somethingâor rather, someone.
Coming out of the fog, a tall figure appears, skin scorched and red. Itâs awful, horrifying, worse than Dove imagined it would look like. But then again, when they said wizard she only thought of Merlin in Fantasia but wearing black.Â
Maxâs chest rises quickly as she tries to hide again, but then heâs walking closer to her, and then Dove does something she knows is stupid.Â
Proof, a reason, a purpose.Â
âMax, run!â she yells. She yells it so loud that it draws Vecnaâs attention away from Max and to her.
He stops walking dead in his tracks. âDove?â
Her blood runs cold as the gravelly voice says her name, but sheâs relieved as she watches Max get up and sprint away fast.
Doveâs eyes widen as Vecna begins to approach her, walking faster than he had with Max, and then she begins to run in the same direction Max had.
She outran the creature better than she thought she could and catches up with Max, the two of them hugging tightly before Dove looks over her face. She cradles her cheeks and pushes the bits of pieces that fell out of her pony tail away as she checks for cuts and bruises. Something shifts and they both turn, looking around them, back to back, as they try to find a way out.
âLucas! Dustin! Steve! Help!â Max begins to yell, spinning around frantically, as Dove then sees Vecna start approaching them.
âMax, Max, you gotta go, you gottaââ And as she says this, turning to pull them away, the cemetery fades and a vast red hellscape appears.
âOh, fuck that,â Dove says, but Vecna is approaching quickly. And as the thunder rumbles and the red fog thickens, Dove pushes Max toward it. âGo, Iâll distract him.â
âNo! No, Iâm not leaving you,â Max says, not letting go of Doveâs hand.
âMax, Iâll be close behind, just go,â Dove says, lying through her teeth, trying to pry her hand off hers.Â
Proof, a reason, a purpose.Â
âNo!â
âMax! Go!â
âWhatâs her favorite song?!â Dustin yells at Lucas after dumping the contents of Maxâs backpack on the ground.
The boys frantically look through the tapes dumped on the ground after Dustin hastily explained what he learned from Nancy and Robin.
Steve turns back to Dove, whoâs frighteningly still. Heâs fighting every fiber of his being to help her, but he looks back to Max and hears Dove in his head telling him to make sure sheâs okay first andâ
Doveâs body moves slightly, like itâs losing balance, swaying, and Steve leaves his spot to steady her. âDove, Dove, hey, come on, come on, wake up please.â
Dove stands in front of the red fog, watching Max as she disappears, and hears a voice behind her say, âWhat are you doing in here, Dove?â
Itâs deep and menacing and it shakes her to her core. Her breathing picks up as she feels him get closer, and closer, that thudding in her head, that feeling sheâs been having for days now just right behind her. Now with a voice and an actual presence.Â
Dove turns slowly, facing the terrifying being. âLet her go.â
âHow did you get in here?â
Dove shivers as he gets closer, her nose tingling in fear, but she keeps a stoic face. âLet her go.â
âYou shouldnât be here. Itâs not time for you yet,â Vecna says, voice deeper than before as he extends a hand, quickly wrapping it around Doveâs throat.
Shit, not again.
Doveâs body collapses in the material world, and Steve barely has time to catch her as he yells out, âWhoa, hey, no, no, no! Wake up, Dove!â
Dove pushes against the hand, the one much more human than the other, clutching her throat. She chokes as she tries to breathe and spits out, âYouâre such a little bitch, Vecna.â
He turns his head, bringing her face closer to his. Up close, Dove can see something reflecting in his eyes. Darkness, a feeling, creeping up her throat alongside the grip of his hand. And then recognition. She sees something there sheâs seen before.Â
He turns his head. âThatâs not my name.â
âDove, Dove, wake up!â
Dove gasps, because before she could find out more, sheâs sucked back into her body. Steveâs holding her, one arm wrapped around her shoulders, the other pushing her forehead into his. Heâs shaking and whispering her name.Â
âOh, thank God, thank God,â Steve breathes, hugging Dove tightly to him, but sheâs pushing him off and looking behind Max again for that same tearâbut itâs gone.
âI had him, Steve, I had him, why did you do that? Why didââ
âWhatâs Maxâs favorite song?!â Dustin yells as he holds up more tapes, but his question is answered asLucas finally finds Kate Bushâs âRunning Up That Hillâ and puts it into her Walkman.
The four of them sit and watch, and as the chorus of the song approaches, Max begins to rise up into the air. Floating high up, they can only watch with slack jaws.
And as the songâs bridge ends and it enters the last chorus, faintly heard now since Max is so high up, she finally drops. Lucas catches her as she lands, panting heavily, and he wraps his arms around her.
------------------Â Â
The Wheelers basement has always had an eerie feeling to it since Will disappeared. Especially at night. And as night approaches on this Monday evening, it feels even creepier.Â
Thereâs only the sounds of breathing and faint conversation. Everyoneâs eyes drifting over to Max whoâs sitting in a chair in the corner next to Lucas. The headphones of her Walkman havenât left her ears since the cemetery.
Nancy and Robin had returned from Pennhurst and had been rattling off ideas and things they learned from Victor Creel. Dustin was intently listening, discussing with them as he took notes, and Steve was trying to listen. He really was.
But his leg is shaking violently as he stares at Doveâs back. Sheâs been staring out the basement door window for so long nowâlong enough that heâs concerned she could be back under a spellâbut then she shifts and he can breathe.
Robin, the ever attentive best friend, keeps taking glances at Steve in between giving ideas and listening to Dustin and Nancy. She watches as he chews on his thumb nail and stares at the pretty blonde's back.Â
Steve consistently came to Robin when things with Dove got funny. Especially when she got really weird around Christmas. There was one night she went to go see her sister and came back crying and locked herself in the bathroom. Steve called Robin the next day to talk about it.Â
Robin was always of the notion that Steve needed to ask Dove what was wrong and to listen. He didnât need to try and fix it like he always wanted to, Dove just needed someone to be there. She doesnât need a white knight, she needs a friend.
âSteve,â Robin says.
Steve hums, not taking his attention away from Dove until Robin repeats his name more sternly, and then heâs looking at her eyes. Theyâre tired and sad and knowing as she cocks her head to the side with that look.
Donât be a white knight.Â
When Steve looks back to where Dove was, heâs met with the basement door closing gently. He stands, following her and not listening to Robin as she repeats his name.
âThis should go well,â Robin mutters, shaking her head and looking back to Nancy.
The night air is crisp as Steve walks down the slope of the backyard. The grass is dewy, and when a breeze comes through, it nips at his bare arms. Heâs on edgeâheâs been on edge since Roane Cemetery. The moment Dove came back into herself and Max dropped to the ground, Steveâs been on fight or flight. Even more so since Dove hasnât spoken a word since she pushed herself off of him.
Not a single word. Not to Max, not to Dustin, not to Lucas, and especially not to Steve.
So Steve approaches with caution to Dove, who is sitting at the edge of the yard, looking into the woods. Her hair, which was neatly cared for yesterday, is a bit more frizzy today, but the weight from how long it is makes it cascade nicely down her back. Her knees are pulled to her chest, her chin resting atop them.Â
Sheâs in her head, in the normal sense, not the weird Vecna way, Steve thinks.Â
âHey,â Steve says, his fists clenching and unclenching by his side.
Dove turns back to him for a second, not giving her full attention, but itâs more than what she had been giving. âHi.â
âWe⊠can we talk?â
Dove turns more, putting her hands behind her. âAbout what?â
Steve blinks, shaking his head. âUh, I donât knowâmaybe about what happened at the cemetery?â
Dove closes her eyes. âYeah, right. That.â
âYeah, that.â
Dove sighs, wiping her hands off on her black trousers, and stands. Theyâre still on the slope, making her significantly shorter than him.Â
She crosses her arms over her chest. âWhat about it?â
Steve huffs, mirroring her stance. âWell, maybe letâs start with what happened? What did you see?â
Dove shrugs and looks around the yard, avoiding Steveâs eyes. âItâs hard to explainâŠâ
âWell, weâve got time.â
Dove snaps her head back at his tone. She knows heâs mad. And of course he is, because if his hunch as to what happened is right, then she blatantly lied to him about doing this together.Â
Doveâs mouth opens and closes a few times as she tries to explain what she saw and how she got where she did. After another heavy sigh, she speaks.Â
âThere was this⊠tear. Likeâlike the gate that we saw beneath Starcourt, but it wasnât like that. It was like a shadow, and when we were at the trailer park, I saw it there, but⊠when you guys couldnât wake Max up, I thought I could help, so Iââ
âYou what? You jumped into it?â
Dove nods, rubbing her arms up and down.
Steve feels the frustration rise up in his chest. âAnd what wouldâve happened if you couldnât get out of that? If I couldnât pull you outââ
âYou donât need to pull me out of anythingââ
âNo, donât do that. We said we would do this together. You saidââ
âThat was before Max was comatose, sitting at Billyâs grave, and Dustin was screaming my name! What else was I supposed to do?â
Steve scoffs, throwing his hands up and looking away before they settle on his hips. âI donât know, Dove! Maybe stop and think before you go running into gatesââ
âIt wasnât a gate.â
âOh my God, that literally doesnât matter right now, because you ran into something you didnât know where it led to and couldâve gotten you killed!â Steve accentuates both points by pushing down his fingers as he says them.
âIt wouldnât have gotten me killedââ
âYou donât know thatââ
âWhat does it matter anyway! Why shouldnât I take a risk if it means saving Max, huh? Like you wouldnât do the same for her? Or Dustin? Or any of those kids?â
Steve chews his bottom lip as they stare at each other, both breathing heavy.
âIt matters because you couldâve died, Dove, you didnât know what that would do! You donât need to go running into those things because youâre importantââ
âBut we donât need to worry aboutââ
âWill you stop interrupting me!â Steve finally snaps.
Doveâs mouth shuts, lips sealed, because Steve never raises his voice like this at her. In all their arguments, he hasnât sounded like this, he never tries to because he doesnât want to be like his father.
He sighs, taking one step closer, and before he speaks again, he breathes out shakily.
âIt matters because you are important. No matter what you think, you are important to Max, Dustin, Lucas, all of the kidsâeven the ones not here. Youâre important to Robin. Youâre important to your sister and brother, no matter how much you ignore them.â Steve raises one hand and places it on her shoulder. âAnd youâre important to me. Youâre so important to me, âcause you know I need you. I love you, and I canât have you jumping into things because you feel like you need to be a hero.â
Doveâs eyes water as she looks at him. âI donât feel important.â
âYou areââ
âNoââ
âYes, you are, please, Dove, pleaseââ
âNo, Steve, how do you expect me to just sit and wait? âCause if I didnât run into that gate, or tear, or whatever the fuck it wasâwhat if Max never made it out? I⊠I was able to distract him for a second, and Max got to that weird red fog place, and⊠and what ifââ
Doveâs crying now.
Steve doesnât have a response, truly unable to answer the what ifs. Â
But what if Dove didnât wake up? What if she was the one who was floating twenty feet in the air and her bones started snapping?
âWe need to game-plan,â Steve finally says, holding both her biceps. âThereâs no time to look back on the what-ifs. We⊠we need to figure out how to keep you and Max safe. Weâve got the Walkman for her⊠weâll go to the house and get yours. Weâllââ
âNo, no, Steve, we worry about Max, not me. Sheâs the one cursed,â Dove interrupts again, shaking her head. âWhen⊠when I was distracting him, he was surprised I was there. Like I wasnât supposed to be there, but⊠he knew who I was. He said my name, even though he wasnât in my mind. At least I donât think it was my mind. And it felt like all those times when I had those visions. I donât know how to explain it, but it was likeâŠâ
âAnd that doesnât worry you? Dove come onââ
âSteve, Max is who we need to worry about.âÂ
Steve purses his lips, sighing heavily for the umpteenth time in this argument. Dove is stubborn. Probably the most stubborn person heâs ever met so he knows that if she's dead set on this, it might not be worth trying to change her mind. But he needs her to not try to make herself expendable in her efforts of saving Max. He needs to convince her that theyâre a team.Â
âWeâll figure it out, we will, honey, I promise,â Steve says, continuing to rub her arms. âJust, please, please, donâtââ
Dove looks at him, eyes still watery and spilling tears as she gives him a lookâthe one that has Steve shaking his head because itâs so apologetic and heartbreaking.
âDove, seriously.â
âI⊠I canât, Steve, I canât say I wonât do it, âcause if it means saving her and everyoneââ
âDove, donât put this on yourself, you donât need to be the heroââ
âSteve, you literally cannot talk! You are always trying to be the hero! And this, this is something I know I can help deal with!â
âIâm not going to let you get yourself killed because you think you have to do this alone!â
âIâm not going to get killedââ
âReally? âCause this sounds like a suicide mission! There are two people who are dead, Dove. Two. I do not want Max to die, believe me on that because she deserves so much more than what sheâs been going through. We are going to do everything in our power to stop this, but your life shouldnât end in the process!â
Theyâve put some distance between each other from their outbursts, both breathing heavy. Steveâs chest is tight and aching and it hurts.
âWould you just listen to me? Please?â
Dove sighs shakily and looks at him.Â
He can see in her eyes that sheâs sorry but sheâs not going to promise anything. She wonât lie, she hates lying.Â
She lurches forward, grabbing his cheeks and planting her lips on his. Itâs a bruising kiss, sloppy but disguised as passionate and loving. Itâs not a promise. And thatâs what is so heartbreaking about it when Steveâs hands go to her waist, pulling her closer to him.
Itâs faster than it needs to be. Loud and aggressive. The sounds of their lips smacking together as Steve walks them down the last two feet of the slope and has her back against a tree. Her teeth tug at his bottom lip, and he opens up, allowing her tongue to slide in.
Itâs a distraction. Steve knows it, and Dove knows it.Â
Because she knows itâs her manipulating this so heâll stop trying to make it about her. She knows itâs wrong but she canât help it. Behind it though, is a cry for help. The part of her, the part of her Steve knows feels loved and worthy of being loved, is trying to fight through and save her from herself. Letting him help her.Â
Thatâs what he can feel. And thatâs what heâs going to chase.Â
Her hands tug in his hair as she pulls him closer, like sheâs trying to absorb him into her skin.
âPlease,â Steve mutters against her lips when they part for a second, taking in a breath.Â
His lips are back on her in an instant, tongue diving into her mouth as one hand drifts up to the side of her face. He deepens the kiss further, if thatâs even possible, pushing against her when he whimpers into her mouth.
He doesnât know if heâs begging her to keep going or begging her to stop. Heâs exhausted, both from the lack of sleep and the fight against her trying to prove she needs to be the one to save everyone. Heâs tired of watching her carry everything like she deserves to be crushed beneath it. But he canât bear another time where sheâs sobbing every night taking the blame for something that isnât her fault. He doesnât know how to convince her otherwise, but he will keep trying and trying until he can prove to her that sheâs not expendable.Â
Steve just wants it to end. He wants some shitty little apartment with bad plumbing and thin walls. He wants to complain about her cold feet on him when they lay on the couch and hear her complain about not matching socks properly. He wants a life with her so painfully normal it almost hurts.
And he will take every hit, every beating, if it means he gets to keep loving her. In every lifetime, every universe, every version of their story. Steve thinks there has never been a reality where he wouldnât end up bloodied and bruised if it meant she got to walk away alive. No matter how much she protests it.Â
Dove canât respond, but the taste of salt in the kiss from her tears is Steveâs answer that has him separating.
Their lips are swollen, glistening with each otherâs saliva in the moonlight. Itâs heartbreaking when Steve looks at her face and sees the tears streaking.
âPlease,â he pleads again, wiping her tears. His head dips to her neck, kissing down the side of it and tracing his teeth over the column of her throat before he falls to his knees.
The denim on his knees dampens against the ground as he kisses her stomach through his shirt sheâs wearing. He pulls it from being tucked into her pants, finding skin with his mouth and attaching his lips there. The kisses are hot and open-mouthed, making Doveâs knees buckle slightly.
âSteve,â Dove breathes, hands moving to his hair. âSteve, please, please look at me.â
He does, his own eyes starting to glisten. She drops to her knees as well, coming face to face with him again.
âI love you, I love you so much⊠and⊠I-I donât want to lie to you and say I wonât do something if Max ends up like that again, but we will do as much as we can together, okay? Okay, just please, please try to understand.â
Steve drops his forehead to hers, eyes closing so the tears wonât fall. âI love you so much, please donât⊠Please donât do anything⊠anything to get yourself⊠killed. I donâtâI couldnâtââ
âI know, I know, and thatâs not what I want. I just want to make sure everyoneâs safe.â
Sheâs holding his cheeks now, and when their eyes lock this time, itâs an understanding. As much as Steve doesnât agree with it, as much as he wants to bear this burden himself, he understands. He understands because he wants to bear this burdenâand thatâs what makes him so mad.
Theyâre both too hardheaded to stop themselves from wanting to save everyone.
And so Steveâs lips are back on hers, kissing her deeply and slowly. Itâs not the response Dove wants. She wishes she could tell him she wouldnât do it. But this, for some reason, feels like her fault.
The kiss grows deeper and deeper, hands moving over each other and gripping. His tongue is in her mouth again, tasting her deeply and thereâs a pooling feeling in her stomach as she feels him push against her.Â
Neither of them are sure how it happens but they end up leaving the ground and moving towards the beamer.Â
Once inside Steveâs car, Doveâs straddling his lap as her shirt has come off, his lips attached to the curve of her shoulder, leaving a light mark.Â
Her pants come off somewhere on the way, along with her underwear. Leaving her in just her bra. Steveâs lips stay on her as much as they can, tasting her skin and breathing in the amber from her perfume.Â
Dove paws at his chest, pulling the fabric of his polo off and then running her hands over him. The hair is coarse against her palms but she loves it as she dips her head to his neck to kiss there.Â
Most of the time they have sex, itâs not this frantic. Itâs normally loving and caring, not a cry like this is starting to feel like.Â
Steveâs hand moves from where it was guiding her grinding motion on her hip towards her core. He touches lightly over the folds, trying to bring back that loving, caring feeling. His fingers slip between them though when she rocks her hips, picking up the pace of the action.Â
âBaby,â Steveâs voice groans, feeling her dripping.Â
âSteve please, please.â
His fingers dip into her without much more fanfare and sheâs moaning his name and digging her nails into his bicep. The two fingers in her curl, finding that spot making her let out a wanton moan. Her back bows into him and she needs more, more, more.Â
âSteve, Steve, baby please.â
The pet name has him flipping her down onto the seat, moving between her legs and his mouth on her in a second. His tongue dips in, tasting her and sheâs so sweet and he could live here. He really could because the noises sheâs making, the way her body moves against his face as he sucks her clit and dips two fingers into her again is heaven.Â
He sucks on the bundle of nerves, flicking his tongue against it as he does. He keeps curling his fingers inside her as he does so. Itâs messy and cramped due to the lack of space but she tastes so good. So good. And his mouth feels so good and Dove wishes this is just how they could stay forever. In this car, in their own world, with no looming dread. Â
She comes apart barely a minute into his actions and after riding out the orgasm sheâs moving back on top of him. Sheâs pulling his jeans and boxers down swiftly and settling herself on top of him, lining herself up.Â
âBaby, baby, wait- oh God.â Steve has no time to even think before sheâs sinking herself onto him, taking his large length fully.Â
âOh, Steve,â Dove moans against his throat as she adjusts. No matter how many times they have sex, how many times he fills her up, she still feels like sheâs splitting in two because of his size. Â
Steve wishes this could be slow and sweet like they usually have. Even when theyâve found themselves in the car like this before, itâs been sweeter than this. But this isn't normal. This is anger and sadness and something else Steve canât recognize.Â
This is Dove crying for help because she wishes she could feel different but right nowâŠright now the physical push and pull, the feeling of him inside of her, his lips, his moans, itâs all thatâs keeping her from spiraling out into a panic.Â
The pace she sets is brutal, knocking the breath from her as she rolls against his cock. Heâs moaning her name, hugging her against him, kissing any part of exposed skin he can reach and heâs still so sweet as she just takes from him.Â
Tears start pooling in her eyes as she gets closer and closer to the edge. But itâs not from pleasure, or maybe it is, but itâs theyâre gone after one tips out of her eye.
And when she does tip over the edge, she cries out his name, collapsing against him as he pulls out. His own release coming out between them, hot and heavy.Â
Steve kisses her slowly again, hands cradling her face and hoping to convey the last of his pleas before he helps her clean up. He dresses her gently, kissing her forehead before exiting the car.Â
Theyâre silent as they walk back down towards the backyard basement door, not wanting to wake up the rest of the sleeping house.Â
As Dove reaches for the handle, Steveâs hand grabs hers.Â
âHey,â he says, pulling her wrist hard enough to make her turn towards him. He cradles her face with one hand, kissing her lips softly one last time before resting his forehead against her. âI love you so much.â
âI love you too, so much.â
Steve nods, squeezing the skin of her cheek that heâs holding gently. âWeâre going to get through this.âÂ
Dove nods, raising her hand to squeeze the one holding her cheek. âYeah.âÂ
And when they come back to the basement, everyoneâs asleep. Sprawled across the floor, and in chairs. The couch is left open and Steve knows that was somehow Robinâs doing when he sees the short haired girl sleeping with her head against the table.Â
He kicks off his shoes, tucking himself against the back of the couch and opening his arm to Dove. She slides into the spot, her back against his chest.Â
From her position laying on the couch, Dove scans the room. Robin is right below them, laying against the table. Nancy is on the other side curled into a ball on the floor. Dustinâs back is against the entertainment center, mouth hung up. And Max is sitting in the arm chair sideways, one hand down and holding Lucasâs. Heâs sitting on the floor, leaning against the seat. One of his hands holding Max's, the other clutching her Walkman, waiting for the tape to end so he can restart it.Â
âYou okay?â Steve whispers into Dove's ear.Â
She turns her head and nods, settling back against him again and grabbing his hand that was resting on her stomach.Â
With his arms wrapped around her, their hands intertwined under her chin, they fall into sleep.Â
Well, Steve sleeps.Â
Dove stays awake staring at Max and Lucas for a while just thinking. She thinks about tomorrow and what that brings when the sun rises. How she wonât get to stay wrapped in Steveâs arms, how theyâll have to get up and sheâll have to tell them about what she saw in there with Max.Â
Sheâll keep that brave face on and not act scared as shit. No matter what Steve says, how he pleads with her to just let him help, she canât allow it. She canât shake the feeling of being responsible and needing to stop this. To protect Max. To protect Steve, because she knows that if she doesnât throw herself into the line of fire he will do it himself.Â
So she stuffs down the feeling of guilt and the other things sheâs lying to herself about. She canât live in a world without Steve Harrington. She canât live in a world where another person she loves more than anything dies. Not when she can stop it.Â
If I had the time, Iâd be making edits of Dove to The Cure by Olivia Rodrigo but unfortunately I donât know how to make fanfic edits like some of you butches do and for that I am jealous
summary: Max falls into the curse, but Dove will do anything to save her. And Steve will do anything to save Dove.
warnings: SMUT!!!! Trauma, parental death, scary thoughts, normal ST horror, lmk if I need to add anything else!!
authors note: WE"RE ALL CAUGHT UP ON THIS STORY ON A03. Also I recommend maybe going back and rereading if you can cause somethings have been changed for consistency sake and my sanity!
Chapter 20 | ao3 link
Chapter 21: Aphasia
The trees roll past the Beamer in a blur as something curls around the group in the car. Itâs thick and suffocating, making everyone dizzy as their minds keep rolling over different scenarios and possibilities.Â
Steveâs eyes keep bouncing over to Dove and then to the rearview to look at Max. Road, Dove, Max. Road, Dove, Max. Itâs a constant loop. He runs his hand over his mouth to keep himself from biting it raw.Â
Doveâs knees are drawn up in the seat, holding them to her chest. Her head lulled against the cool glass of the window. Sheâs not really looking at anything but her eyes are stuck in the same spot. Theyâre tearing up from not blinking as often as she should but sheâs not really thinking about that. Sheâs thinking about that tear, the red flicker and how she felt drawn to it. Like she had been drawn to Eddie Munsonâs trailer door the day before.Â
Itâs itching up her throat again as her mind goes over it over and over again. She tries to push it down, stuff it under her mask but the car starts to feel smaller and smaller. Only when Max tells them to turn right into Roane Hill Cemetery is she able to swallow it thickly. Because she canât make this about her. Not when Max's life is on the line.Â
Steve takes the curve around the sign, and Dove feels her throat start getting tighter for another reason. She hasnât been to the cemetery since July, since her motherâs funeral. When the car parks, Max jumps out, storming off as Lucas yells after her.
They take off a little deeper into the cemetery, Lucas talking as Max continues to walk away, Dove opens the passenger door and starts to look in the direction of her momâs grave. Itâs just over a small clearing, near the middle, right next to her dadâs.
In the distance, she can hear Lucas telling Max he doesnât want a letter. Then closer, covering their conversation, she hears Steve open the driverâs door. Doveâs taken a few steps away from the car, toward the clearing.
âHey,â Steve says, gently placing a hand on her back. He knows whatâs just past the clearing. âDo you⊠do you want to go over there?â
Dove sucks in a breath, shrugging her shoulders. âIâm⊠Iâm thinking about it.â
Steve nods. âOkay, okay, letâs go over there. Iâll go with youââ
âNo, IâI should go over there alone, I want to talk to herââ
âHoney, I donât know if you should go alone. I mean, thank God Lucas went with Max, causeââ
âI have to do this alone, Steve,â Dove says, turning to him fully.Â
A breeze cuts through the clearing, the late afternoon air carrying the smell of honeysuckle. Doveâs hair blows in her face, and Steve reaches out and brushes it behind her ear.
âI donât want anything to happen to you,â Steve admits softly. âI donâtâI donât know what Iâd doââ
Dove leans forward, pushing up on her toes and placing her lips on his. The kiss is soft, her hand cupping his cheek gently, with the intention for it to ease his mind. And hers.
When she pulls back, he chases her lips, following her before settling back on his heels.
âThatâs not fair,â he murmurs, but thereâs no real complaint as his lips turn up ever so slightly.
âIâll be just a few minutes, I swear. When Max finishes, come and get me,â Dove says, her thumb rubbing over the stubble on his cheek before dropping her hand.Â
Steve takes a second to look over her face before conceding. He leans forward, both hands cupping her jaw and placing a kiss on her forehead. He keeps his lips there longer than he usually would before he turns back to the car. Leaving Dove by herself and looking toward her parentâs graves.
The grass thatâs still a little dead crunches under her feet as she approaches the two headstones. Itâs solemn and eerie now. A chill settles up her spine. Her mind flashes with the memory of her saying Veronicaâs name in that comms room, the fear in her eyes when she saw her daughter behind the glass, and then the ringing of the shot that killed her.Â
She feels that dark voice, the one she pushed to a far corner of her brain creep out just a bit more. The guilt and shame crawling up her throat, beginning to choke her.
âHi, Mom,â her voice shakes, and a tear falls out of her eye that she wipes away quickly. âNo, Dad, Iâm not crying.â
She chuckles lightly at her own joke, and she hopes her dad wouldâve laughed too.
âUm,â she looks down at her hands, pulling on her fingers slightly as she takes in another shaky breath. âMom, me and Steve are together now. I, uh, know how much you liked him, and even though you didnât directly say itââ she laughs lightlyâ âI think youâd be happy for me.â
Another breeze passes through the cemetery. She tucks her hair behind both her ears and stands in silence, wiping heavy tears from her cheeks.Â
She sucks in a breath, trying to gain composure, trying to cling on to the last bit of her that feels like her. She doesnât want to go back to where she was, she was feeling better. She was handling it. But all her resolve crumbles as the memory of last summer flashes through her brain again.Â
She remembered the way she felt bound to that chair, watching them torture Steve and Robin, feeling that generals hands on her. She shouldnât have survived that night. She shouldnât have walked out of that mall at all.Â
âIâm sorry, Mama, I shouldnât have said your name that day. If I hadnât, you would still be here, but IâI didnât know what I was doing. I was just trying to keep everyone safe. And I tried, and tried but you still died, Billy died, Hopper died. Everything feels so wrong without you here. I shouldâve tried harder, shouldâve run in there to save you andâand now I've lost both of you guys. Itâs all my fault mama, I shouldnâtâI donât.âÂ
She feels like the ground is sinking below her, trying to consume her. Maybe it will, maybe it will finally take her instead of her mom. She wasnât trying to find out secrets she shouldnât. She wasnât snooping and being dumb. Why did she have to die for her daughter's mistakes?Â
âI canât face Anna, or Stephen, or even Grandma. Because I know what happened and I know what I did and it just sucks, Mama. It sucks so fucking much.â
She doesnât even bother wiping the tears coming out of her eyes anymore as she falls to her knees, a hand rising and settling on top of the grave.
âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry,â she whispers.
It takes a full minute for her to get past the point of almost hyperventilating. Her chest still is pressing in on herself and she starts to go numb from it. Finally it settles to a point where she can talk.Â
âI keep having these dreams, or visions, or something, and I thought they were from when we were in the hospital with Dad, but⊠why did we move to Hawkins from New York? I⊠I donât really remember it. I didnât remember any of this until Friday night, and⊠I wish you were here so I could ask you about itâŠâ
Another breeze passes throughâbut this oneâs different. It doesnât carry that same honeysuckle smell. Itâs stale and brings the promise of rain. A storm, charged with lightning and destruction. But the rest of the week calls for good weatherâDove saw it on the news at the Wheelers. And then she remembers that breeze, that change, in the basement of the station, then again at Dustinâs house.Â
She turns her head back to her friends, but everythingâs fine. She sees Steve sitting on the hood of the Beemer, watching Max. Dustinâs propped against the passenger door, fiddling with his walkie, and Lucasâs arms are crossed as he also watches Max just up the hill.
Dove feels a gentler breeze, this one more like early Indiana spring. It ruffles her hair and tickles her cheeks. Giving a sense of normalcy and calm to the edge of the storm clouding her mind. Slowly, she turns back to the grave stones.Â
âI just donât know why I donât remember these⊠visions. You were there, Mom, in the first one. We⊠we talked about how what I was doing was going to help Dad, and I⊠I donât understand why. I just wish I could talk to you.â
Some time must pass as Dove recounts all the visions to her mom, because her knees are starting to hurt from being folded under her. Sheâs picking at a blade of grass from under her as she tries to talk through the memories out loud.
She was at Hawkins Lab. Her parents brought her there. What she was doing was supposed to be helping her dad. Prick her skin, drip something into her, make her sleepy. There were other people there. The little boy. His parents. The doctor. The blonde man. She remembers yelling, blood, fear, so much fear. And then warmth.Â
It all goes away after that. To a point she has physical memories, what sheâs been shown where she can remember what she saw, like watching a movie. But then it just becomes that. Flashes and feelings.Â
The one feeling she can recall the most now is that feeling of fear. It twists in her stomach and crawls up her spin. She can feel it behind her eyes like sheâs being forced to watch something she doesnât want to. It then rings her ears, like someone is telling her things she wants to block out. Itâs all so strange.Â
But Dove tries to keep her focus on her momâs grave, that memory of fear twisting into that darkness taking over her mind. It contorts with the guilt and it slinks out of that corner she shoved it to, winning the internal fight by gaining more ground.Â
Just across the clearing, Steve checks his watch again. His eyes have been bouncing back and forth between the two girls. Dove he can watch breathe and the movement of her talking and wiping a tear. He lingers on her before turning his eyes back to Max, who he had been trying to keep most of his attention on. What he thought would take about five minutes had stretched to tenâŠand now they were closing in on fifteen.Â
And sheâs so still sitting up at the top of that hill, and it might be the distance but he canât see her moving like Dove is. No bounce of her shoulders like if she was talking. It eats at him to check on her, make sure sheâs okay. And when another breeze passes through, something in it stinks and Steve decides itâs time to call it.Â
âAll right, itâs been long enough,â he says, pushing off the car and making his way up the hill, throwing one more look to Dove over his shoulder.
âSteve, just give her some time,â Lucas tries to reason.
âI have, alright, Sinclair?â Steve continues up the hill, body half-turned toward him as he moves up, then he begins walking backward. âIâm calling itâher and Dove. If Mayfield wants to lawyer up, she can.â
He jogs the rest of the way as he calls out, âMax! Time to giddy up, yeah?â
But when he looks down at her, his stomach drops. Her eyes are glazed completely over. The blue completely clouded. He says her name again and again, grabbing her shoulder and shaking it, but she doesnât come out of it.Â
His stomach sinks and nose stings as he fears for the worse. He keeps shaking her shoulder before letting go and clapping in her face. Â
âWake up! Max, please, wake upâhey!â
Down the hill, Lucas and Dustin look up, hearing Steveâs voice raise.Â
Beginning to move up the hill, Lucas mutters, âSomethingâs wrong.â
The next few minutes are a blur. Once up the hill and onto the plateau, theyâre all shaking Maxâs shoulders and saying her name until Steve grabs Dustin by the front of his sweatshirt.Â
âHenderson, go get Dove! Call Nancy and Robin! Go get âem! Go get Dove!â Steve yells frantically, pushing Dustin away and then turning back to Max, holding her face with one hand and shaking her shoulder as he says, âWake up, Max, come on!â
Dustin rolls off the platform of Billyâs grave, tumbling down the hill toward the car and screaming, âDove! Dove, help! Itâs Max! Dove!â
Dove rises from her spot on the ground at the call of her name and sees Dustin barreling toward the Beamer. She stumbles as she stands, taking off toward him, and as she gets closer, she sees Steve and Lucas at the top of the hill, yelling Maxâs name in her face.
âGo help them! Iâm calling Nancy and Robin!â Dustin yells as he reaches inside the open car window for his walkie.
Dove takes off up the hill, stumbling as she yells, âMax!â
And there, right behind Max, is the tearâthe bend of a shadow that isnât thereâ a tear in reality. Dove doesnât need to think about the decision to run into it. A reason, an excuse, proof. A lot of things come to her mind as she goes head first into danger, hoping itâll save Max.Â
While she keeps moving in, running toward the tear and making it through: entering the dark, horror-movie realm of the cemetery, her body doesnât. In the real world, she locks up, stopping right behind Steve, eyes clouded over and her consciousness completely gone. She stands like a statue.Â
âDove,â Steve says, turning back to her, but then his face drops. âNo, no, no, baby, come on, donât do this, Dove, Dove!â
He looks toward Max again, and then back to Dove, and then down to Dustin in the car, yelling, âHurry!â
Dove is sprinting through the cemetery, following the sounds of what she hopes are Maxâs feet thudding.Â
âMax! Max!â she yells out into the dark.Â
Then she hears a deep voice echoing through the cemetery saying, âYou cannot hide from me, Maxine.â
Dove sprints faster, finally spotting red hair hiding just across the way behind a grave. Her gaze is turned toward somethingâor rather, someone.
Coming out of the fog, a tall figure appears, skin scorched and red. Itâs awful, horrifying, worse than Dove imagined it would look like. But then again, when they said wizard she only thought of Merlin in Fantasia but wearing black.Â
Maxâs chest rises quickly as she tries to hide again, but then heâs walking closer to her, and then Dove does something she knows is stupid.Â
Proof, a reason, a purpose.Â
âMax, run!â she yells. She yells it so loud that it draws Vecnaâs attention away from Max and to her.
He stops walking dead in his tracks. âDove?â
Her blood runs cold as the gravelly voice says her name, but sheâs relieved as she watches Max get up and sprint away fast.
Doveâs eyes widen as Vecna begins to approach her, walking faster than he had with Max, and then she begins to run in the same direction Max had.
She outran the creature better than she thought she could and catches up with Max, the two of them hugging tightly before Dove looks over her face. She cradles her cheeks and pushes the bits of pieces that fell out of her pony tail away as she checks for cuts and bruises. Something shifts and they both turn, looking around them, back to back, as they try to find a way out.
âLucas! Dustin! Steve! Help!â Max begins to yell, spinning around frantically, as Dove then sees Vecna start approaching them.
âMax, Max, you gotta go, you gottaââ And as she says this, turning to pull them away, the cemetery fades and a vast red hellscape appears.
âOh, fuck that,â Dove says, but Vecna is approaching quickly. And as the thunder rumbles and the red fog thickens, Dove pushes Max toward it. âGo, Iâll distract him.â
âNo! No, Iâm not leaving you,â Max says, not letting go of Doveâs hand.
âMax, Iâll be close behind, just go,â Dove says, lying through her teeth, trying to pry her hand off hers.Â
Proof, a reason, a purpose.Â
âNo!â
âMax! Go!â
âWhatâs her favorite song?!â Dustin yells at Lucas after dumping the contents of Maxâs backpack on the ground.
The boys frantically look through the tapes dumped on the ground after Dustin hastily explained what he learned from Nancy and Robin.
Steve turns back to Dove, whoâs frighteningly still. Heâs fighting every fiber of his being to help her, but he looks back to Max and hears Dove in his head telling him to make sure sheâs okay first andâ
Doveâs body moves slightly, like itâs losing balance, swaying, and Steve leaves his spot to steady her. âDove, Dove, hey, come on, come on, wake up please.â
Dove stands in front of the red fog, watching Max as she disappears, and hears a voice behind her say, âWhat are you doing in here, Dove?â
Itâs deep and menacing and it shakes her to her core. Her breathing picks up as she feels him get closer, and closer, that thudding in her head, that feeling sheâs been having for days now just right behind her. Now with a voice and an actual presence.Â
Dove turns slowly, facing the terrifying being. âLet her go.â
âHow did you get in here?â
Dove shivers as he gets closer, her nose tingling in fear, but she keeps a stoic face. âLet her go.â
âYou shouldnât be here. Itâs not time for you yet,â Vecna says, voice deeper than before as he extends a hand, quickly wrapping it around Doveâs throat.
Shit, not again.
Doveâs body collapses in the material world, and Steve barely has time to catch her as he yells out, âWhoa, hey, no, no, no! Wake up, Dove!â
Dove pushes against the hand, the one much more human than the other, clutching her throat. She chokes as she tries to breathe and spits out, âYouâre such a little bitch, Vecna.â
He turns his head, bringing her face closer to his. Up close, Dove can see something reflecting in his eyes. Darkness, a feeling, creeping up her throat alongside the grip of his hand. And then recognition. She sees something there sheâs seen before.Â
He turns his head. âThatâs not my name.â
âDove, Dove, wake up!â
Dove gasps, because before she could find out more, sheâs sucked back into her body. Steveâs holding her, one arm wrapped around her shoulders, the other pushing her forehead into his. Heâs shaking and whispering her name.Â
âOh, thank God, thank God,â Steve breathes, hugging Dove tightly to him, but sheâs pushing him off and looking behind Max again for that same tearâbut itâs gone.
âI had him, Steve, I had him, why did you do that? Why didââ
âWhatâs Maxâs favorite song?!â Dustin yells as he holds up more tapes, but his question is answered asLucas finally finds Kate Bushâs âRunning Up That Hillâ and puts it into her Walkman.
The four of them sit and watch, and as the chorus of the song approaches, Max begins to rise up into the air. Floating high up, they can only watch with slack jaws.
And as the songâs bridge ends and it enters the last chorus, faintly heard now since Max is so high up, she finally drops. Lucas catches her as she lands, panting heavily, and he wraps his arms around her.
------------------Â Â
The Wheelers basement has always had an eerie feeling to it since Will disappeared. Especially at night. And as night approaches on this Monday evening, it feels even creepier.Â
Thereâs only the sounds of breathing and faint conversation. Everyoneâs eyes drifting over to Max whoâs sitting in a chair in the corner next to Lucas. The headphones of her Walkman havenât left her ears since the cemetery.
Nancy and Robin had returned from Pennhurst and had been rattling off ideas and things they learned from Victor Creel. Dustin was intently listening, discussing with them as he took notes, and Steve was trying to listen. He really was.
But his leg is shaking violently as he stares at Doveâs back. Sheâs been staring out the basement door window for so long nowâlong enough that heâs concerned she could be back under a spellâbut then she shifts and he can breathe.
Robin, the ever attentive best friend, keeps taking glances at Steve in between giving ideas and listening to Dustin and Nancy. She watches as he chews on his thumb nail and stares at the pretty blonde's back.Â
Steve consistently came to Robin when things with Dove got funny. Especially when she got really weird around Christmas. There was one night she went to go see her sister and came back crying and locked herself in the bathroom. Steve called Robin the next day to talk about it.Â
Robin was always of the notion that Steve needed to ask Dove what was wrong and to listen. He didnât need to try and fix it like he always wanted to, Dove just needed someone to be there. She doesnât need a white knight, she needs a friend.
âSteve,â Robin says.
Steve hums, not taking his attention away from Dove until Robin repeats his name more sternly, and then heâs looking at her eyes. Theyâre tired and sad and knowing as she cocks her head to the side with that look.
Donât be a white knight.Â
When Steve looks back to where Dove was, heâs met with the basement door closing gently. He stands, following her and not listening to Robin as she repeats his name.
âThis should go well,â Robin mutters, shaking her head and looking back to Nancy.
The night air is crisp as Steve walks down the slope of the backyard. The grass is dewy, and when a breeze comes through, it nips at his bare arms. Heâs on edgeâheâs been on edge since Roane Cemetery. The moment Dove came back into herself and Max dropped to the ground, Steveâs been on fight or flight. Even more so since Dove hasnât spoken a word since she pushed herself off of him.
Not a single word. Not to Max, not to Dustin, not to Lucas, and especially not to Steve.
So Steve approaches with caution to Dove, who is sitting at the edge of the yard, looking into the woods. Her hair, which was neatly cared for yesterday, is a bit more frizzy today, but the weight from how long it is makes it cascade nicely down her back. Her knees are pulled to her chest, her chin resting atop them.Â
Sheâs in her head, in the normal sense, not the weird Vecna way, Steve thinks.Â
âHey,â Steve says, his fists clenching and unclenching by his side.
Dove turns back to him for a second, not giving her full attention, but itâs more than what she had been giving. âHi.â
âWe⊠can we talk?â
Dove turns more, putting her hands behind her. âAbout what?â
Steve blinks, shaking his head. âUh, I donât knowâmaybe about what happened at the cemetery?â
Dove closes her eyes. âYeah, right. That.â
âYeah, that.â
Dove sighs, wiping her hands off on her black trousers, and stands. Theyâre still on the slope, making her significantly shorter than him.Â
She crosses her arms over her chest. âWhat about it?â
Steve huffs, mirroring her stance. âWell, maybe letâs start with what happened? What did you see?â
Dove shrugs and looks around the yard, avoiding Steveâs eyes. âItâs hard to explainâŠâ
âWell, weâve got time.â
Dove snaps her head back at his tone. She knows heâs mad. And of course he is, because if his hunch as to what happened is right, then she blatantly lied to him about doing this together.Â
Doveâs mouth opens and closes a few times as she tries to explain what she saw and how she got where she did. After another heavy sigh, she speaks.Â
âThere was this⊠tear. Likeâlike the gate that we saw beneath Starcourt, but it wasnât like that. It was like a shadow, and when we were at the trailer park, I saw it there, but⊠when you guys couldnât wake Max up, I thought I could help, so Iââ
âYou what? You jumped into it?â
Dove nods, rubbing her arms up and down.
Steve feels the frustration rise up in his chest. âAnd what wouldâve happened if you couldnât get out of that? If I couldnât pull you outââ
âYou donât need to pull me out of anythingââ
âNo, donât do that. We said we would do this together. You saidââ
âThat was before Max was comatose, sitting at Billyâs grave, and Dustin was screaming my name! What else was I supposed to do?â
Steve scoffs, throwing his hands up and looking away before they settle on his hips. âI donât know, Dove! Maybe stop and think before you go running into gatesââ
âIt wasnât a gate.â
âOh my God, that literally doesnât matter right now, because you ran into something you didnât know where it led to and couldâve gotten you killed!â Steve accentuates both points by pushing down his fingers as he says them.
âIt wouldnât have gotten me killedââ
âYou donât know thatââ
âWhat does it matter anyway! Why shouldnât I take a risk if it means saving Max, huh? Like you wouldnât do the same for her? Or Dustin? Or any of those kids?â
Steve chews his bottom lip as they stare at each other, both breathing heavy.
âIt matters because you couldâve died, Dove, you didnât know what that would do! You donât need to go running into those things because youâre importantââ
âBut we donât need to worry aboutââ
âWill you stop interrupting me!â Steve finally snaps.
Doveâs mouth shuts, lips sealed, because Steve never raises his voice like this at her. In all their arguments, he hasnât sounded like this, he never tries to because he doesnât want to be like his father.
He sighs, taking one step closer, and before he speaks again, he breathes out shakily.
âIt matters because you are important. No matter what you think, you are important to Max, Dustin, Lucas, all of the kidsâeven the ones not here. Youâre important to Robin. Youâre important to your sister and brother, no matter how much you ignore them.â Steve raises one hand and places it on her shoulder. âAnd youâre important to me. Youâre so important to me, âcause you know I need you. I love you, and I canât have you jumping into things because you feel like you need to be a hero.â
Doveâs eyes water as she looks at him. âI donât feel important.â
âYou areââ
âNoââ
âYes, you are, please, Dove, pleaseââ
âNo, Steve, how do you expect me to just sit and wait? âCause if I didnât run into that gate, or tear, or whatever the fuck it wasâwhat if Max never made it out? I⊠I was able to distract him for a second, and Max got to that weird red fog place, and⊠and what ifââ
Doveâs crying now.
Steve doesnât have a response, truly unable to answer the what ifs. Â
But what if Dove didnât wake up? What if she was the one who was floating twenty feet in the air and her bones started snapping?
âWe need to game-plan,â Steve finally says, holding both her biceps. âThereâs no time to look back on the what-ifs. We⊠we need to figure out how to keep you and Max safe. Weâve got the Walkman for her⊠weâll go to the house and get yours. Weâllââ
âNo, no, Steve, we worry about Max, not me. Sheâs the one cursed,â Dove interrupts again, shaking her head. âWhen⊠when I was distracting him, he was surprised I was there. Like I wasnât supposed to be there, but⊠he knew who I was. He said my name, even though he wasnât in my mind. At least I donât think it was my mind. And it felt like all those times when I had those visions. I donât know how to explain it, but it was likeâŠâ
âAnd that doesnât worry you? Dove come onââ
âSteve, Max is who we need to worry about.âÂ
Steve purses his lips, sighing heavily for the umpteenth time in this argument. Dove is stubborn. Probably the most stubborn person heâs ever met so he knows that if she's dead set on this, it might not be worth trying to change her mind. But he needs her to not try to make herself expendable in her efforts of saving Max. He needs to convince her that theyâre a team.Â
âWeâll figure it out, we will, honey, I promise,â Steve says, continuing to rub her arms. âJust, please, please, donâtââ
Dove looks at him, eyes still watery and spilling tears as she gives him a lookâthe one that has Steve shaking his head because itâs so apologetic and heartbreaking.
âDove, seriously.â
âI⊠I canât, Steve, I canât say I wonât do it, âcause if it means saving her and everyoneââ
âDove, donât put this on yourself, you donât need to be the heroââ
âSteve, you literally cannot talk! You are always trying to be the hero! And this, this is something I know I can help deal with!â
âIâm not going to let you get yourself killed because you think you have to do this alone!â
âIâm not going to get killedââ
âReally? âCause this sounds like a suicide mission! There are two people who are dead, Dove. Two. I do not want Max to die, believe me on that because she deserves so much more than what sheâs been going through. We are going to do everything in our power to stop this, but your life shouldnât end in the process!â
Theyâve put some distance between each other from their outbursts, both breathing heavy. Steveâs chest is tight and aching and it hurts.
âWould you just listen to me? Please?â
Dove sighs shakily and looks at him.Â
He can see in her eyes that sheâs sorry but sheâs not going to promise anything. She wonât lie, she hates lying.Â
She lurches forward, grabbing his cheeks and planting her lips on his. Itâs a bruising kiss, sloppy but disguised as passionate and loving. Itâs not a promise. And thatâs what is so heartbreaking about it when Steveâs hands go to her waist, pulling her closer to him.
Itâs faster than it needs to be. Loud and aggressive. The sounds of their lips smacking together as Steve walks them down the last two feet of the slope and has her back against a tree. Her teeth tug at his bottom lip, and he opens up, allowing her tongue to slide in.
Itâs a distraction. Steve knows it, and Dove knows it.Â
Because she knows itâs her manipulating this so heâll stop trying to make it about her. She knows itâs wrong but she canât help it. Behind it though, is a cry for help. The part of her, the part of her Steve knows feels loved and worthy of being loved, is trying to fight through and save her from herself. Letting him help her.Â
Thatâs what he can feel. And thatâs what heâs going to chase.Â
Her hands tug in his hair as she pulls him closer, like sheâs trying to absorb him into her skin.
âPlease,â Steve mutters against her lips when they part for a second, taking in a breath.Â
His lips are back on her in an instant, tongue diving into her mouth as one hand drifts up to the side of her face. He deepens the kiss further, if thatâs even possible, pushing against her when he whimpers into her mouth.
He doesnât know if heâs begging her to keep going or begging her to stop. Heâs exhausted, both from the lack of sleep and the fight against her trying to prove she needs to be the one to save everyone. Heâs tired of watching her carry everything like she deserves to be crushed beneath it. But he canât bear another time where sheâs sobbing every night taking the blame for something that isnât her fault. He doesnât know how to convince her otherwise, but he will keep trying and trying until he can prove to her that sheâs not expendable.Â
Steve just wants it to end. He wants some shitty little apartment with bad plumbing and thin walls. He wants to complain about her cold feet on him when they lay on the couch and hear her complain about not matching socks properly. He wants a life with her so painfully normal it almost hurts.
And he will take every hit, every beating, if it means he gets to keep loving her. In every lifetime, every universe, every version of their story. Steve thinks there has never been a reality where he wouldnât end up bloodied and bruised if it meant she got to walk away alive. No matter how much she protests it.Â
Dove canât respond, but the taste of salt in the kiss from her tears is Steveâs answer that has him separating.
Their lips are swollen, glistening with each otherâs saliva in the moonlight. Itâs heartbreaking when Steve looks at her face and sees the tears streaking.
âPlease,â he pleads again, wiping her tears. His head dips to her neck, kissing down the side of it and tracing his teeth over the column of her throat before he falls to his knees.
The denim on his knees dampens against the ground as he kisses her stomach through his shirt sheâs wearing. He pulls it from being tucked into her pants, finding skin with his mouth and attaching his lips there. The kisses are hot and open-mouthed, making Doveâs knees buckle slightly.
âSteve,â Dove breathes, hands moving to his hair. âSteve, please, please look at me.â
He does, his own eyes starting to glisten. She drops to her knees as well, coming face to face with him again.
âI love you, I love you so much⊠and⊠I-I donât want to lie to you and say I wonât do something if Max ends up like that again, but we will do as much as we can together, okay? Okay, just please, please try to understand.â
Steve drops his forehead to hers, eyes closing so the tears wonât fall. âI love you so much, please donât⊠Please donât do anything⊠anything to get yourself⊠killed. I donâtâI couldnâtââ
âI know, I know, and thatâs not what I want. I just want to make sure everyoneâs safe.â
Sheâs holding his cheeks now, and when their eyes lock this time, itâs an understanding. As much as Steve doesnât agree with it, as much as he wants to bear this burden himself, he understands. He understands because he wants to bear this burdenâand thatâs what makes him so mad.
Theyâre both too hardheaded to stop themselves from wanting to save everyone.
And so Steveâs lips are back on hers, kissing her deeply and slowly. Itâs not the response Dove wants. She wishes she could tell him she wouldnât do it. But this, for some reason, feels like her fault.
The kiss grows deeper and deeper, hands moving over each other and gripping. His tongue is in her mouth again, tasting her deeply and thereâs a pooling feeling in her stomach as she feels him push against her.Â
Neither of them are sure how it happens but they end up leaving the ground and moving towards the beamer.Â
Once inside Steveâs car, Doveâs straddling his lap as her shirt has come off, his lips attached to the curve of her shoulder, leaving a light mark.Â
Her pants come off somewhere on the way, along with her underwear. Leaving her in just her bra. Steveâs lips stay on her as much as they can, tasting her skin and breathing in the amber from her perfume.Â
Dove paws at his chest, pulling the fabric of his polo off and then running her hands over him. The hair is coarse against her palms but she loves it as she dips her head to his neck to kiss there.Â
Most of the time they have sex, itâs not this frantic. Itâs normally loving and caring, not a cry like this is starting to feel like.Â
Steveâs hand moves from where it was guiding her grinding motion on her hip towards her core. He touches lightly over the folds, trying to bring back that loving, caring feeling. His fingers slip between them though when she rocks her hips, picking up the pace of the action.Â
âBaby,â Steveâs voice groans, feeling her dripping.Â
âSteve please, please.â
His fingers dip into her without much more fanfare and sheâs moaning his name and digging her nails into his bicep. The two fingers in her curl, finding that spot making her let out a wanton moan. Her back bows into him and she needs more, more, more.Â
âSteve, Steve, baby please.â
The pet name has him flipping her down onto the seat, moving between her legs and his mouth on her in a second. His tongue dips in, tasting her and sheâs so sweet and he could live here. He really could because the noises sheâs making, the way her body moves against his face as he sucks her clit and dips two fingers into her again is heaven.Â
He sucks on the bundle of nerves, flicking his tongue against it as he does. He keeps curling his fingers inside her as he does so. Itâs messy and cramped due to the lack of space but she tastes so good. So good. And his mouth feels so good and Dove wishes this is just how they could stay forever. In this car, in their own world, with no looming dread. Â
She comes apart barely a minute into his actions and after riding out the orgasm sheâs moving back on top of him. Sheâs pulling his jeans and boxers down swiftly and settling herself on top of him, lining herself up.Â
âBaby, baby, wait- oh God.â Steve has no time to even think before sheâs sinking herself onto him, taking his large length fully.Â
âOh, Steve,â Dove moans against his throat as she adjusts. No matter how many times they have sex, how many times he fills her up, she still feels like sheâs splitting in two because of his size. Â
Steve wishes this could be slow and sweet like they usually have. Even when theyâve found themselves in the car like this before, itâs been sweeter than this. But this isn't normal. This is anger and sadness and something else Steve canât recognize.Â
This is Dove crying for help because she wishes she could feel different but right nowâŠright now the physical push and pull, the feeling of him inside of her, his lips, his moans, itâs all thatâs keeping her from spiraling out into a panic.Â
The pace she sets is brutal, knocking the breath from her as she rolls against his cock. Heâs moaning her name, hugging her against him, kissing any part of exposed skin he can reach and heâs still so sweet as she just takes from him.Â
Tears start pooling in her eyes as she gets closer and closer to the edge. But itâs not from pleasure, or maybe it is, but itâs theyâre gone after one tips out of her eye.
And when she does tip over the edge, she cries out his name, collapsing against him as he pulls out. His own release coming out between them, hot and heavy.Â
Steve kisses her slowly again, hands cradling her face and hoping to convey the last of his pleas before he helps her clean up. He dresses her gently, kissing her forehead before exiting the car.Â
Theyâre silent as they walk back down towards the backyard basement door, not wanting to wake up the rest of the sleeping house.Â
As Dove reaches for the handle, Steveâs hand grabs hers.Â
âHey,â he says, pulling her wrist hard enough to make her turn towards him. He cradles her face with one hand, kissing her lips softly one last time before resting his forehead against her. âI love you so much.â
âI love you too, so much.â
Steve nods, squeezing the skin of her cheek that heâs holding gently. âWeâre going to get through this.âÂ
Dove nods, raising her hand to squeeze the one holding her cheek. âYeah.âÂ
And when they come back to the basement, everyoneâs asleep. Sprawled across the floor, and in chairs. The couch is left open and Steve knows that was somehow Robinâs doing when he sees the short haired girl sleeping with her head against the table.Â
He kicks off his shoes, tucking himself against the back of the couch and opening his arm to Dove. She slides into the spot, her back against his chest.Â
From her position laying on the couch, Dove scans the room. Robin is right below them, laying against the table. Nancy is on the other side curled into a ball on the floor. Dustinâs back is against the entertainment center, mouth hung up. And Max is sitting in the arm chair sideways, one hand down and holding Lucasâs. Heâs sitting on the floor, leaning against the seat. One of his hands holding Max's, the other clutching her Walkman, waiting for the tape to end so he can restart it.Â
âYou okay?â Steve whispers into Dove's ear.Â
She turns her head and nods, settling back against him again and grabbing his hand that was resting on her stomach.Â
With his arms wrapped around her, their hands intertwined under her chin, they fall into sleep.Â
Well, Steve sleeps.Â
Dove stays awake staring at Max and Lucas for a while just thinking. She thinks about tomorrow and what that brings when the sun rises. How she wonât get to stay wrapped in Steveâs arms, how theyâll have to get up and sheâll have to tell them about what she saw in there with Max.Â
Sheâll keep that brave face on and not act scared as shit. No matter what Steve says, how he pleads with her to just let him help, she canât allow it. She canât shake the feeling of being responsible and needing to stop this. To protect Max. To protect Steve, because she knows that if she doesnât throw herself into the line of fire he will do it himself.Â
So she stuffs down the feeling of guilt and the other things sheâs lying to herself about. She canât live in a world without Steve Harrington. She canât live in a world where another person she loves more than anything dies. Not when she can stop it.Â
fucked that you canât fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle
summary: Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or whatever that bullshit saying is cause Steve is going crazy without Dove and needs to tell her how he feels but he can't find her. Until Lucas Sinclair does.
warnings: SMUT, grief & bereavement (parent death), trauma & PTSD symptoms, references to torture and past violence, emotional withdrawal, relationship conflict & yelling, fear of abandonment.
authors note: WOOOOOOOO SMUT WOOOO FOR ADMITTING FEELINGS WOOO FOR ME NOT BEING SICK (I still am) also yeah, the title of this chapter is after the John Mayer song Edge of Desire cause that song is perfect and if you haven't heard it then you're missing out.
chapter 12
Chapter 13: Edge of Desire
August 29th is the first day anyone from the Party sees Dove.
Lucas is at Bradleyâs Big Buys, looking for new notebooks for school, when he spots the blonde in the cosmetics section.
At first, he just stands there, watching her, not really knowing what to do. No one had seen her or heard from her in almost two weeks, but he knows Steve has been really, really concerned.
Steve had gathered all the kids one night and put them on Dove watch. Robin sat there the entire time telling them this was not necessary and she was "seriously considering entering Steve into a home" because she was "convinced he was becoming a paranoid schizophrenic".
And while she was being a tad bit dramatic, Steve was extremely worried and was acting a bit crazy. These nightmares heâs been having about her being taken are getting more and more vivid. Almost becoming memory like. He needed to find her and make sure she was okay. He needed to make sure no Russians came back to finish the job and take her.
It might be irrational.
It also might not be.
Dustin seemed to be the only one taking Steveâs fear seriously.Â
But Lucas has entirely forgotten all the rules of Dove watch as he stands stunned in Bradly's. Get on the radio with code âPurple Rain, Track 6â (Dustinâs idea, Steve tried to argue it), keep her in the location until Steve gets there. Make sure there's no Russians.
Lucas just stands staring at her looking at different lipsticks like heâs scared of her. Which he shouldnât be, itâs only Dove. Dove used to babysit him and sneak him and Erica extra ice cream. She bought him DnD dice. Dove is nice, Dove is his friend.Â
But Dove had become someone recently he didnât know. Heâs unsure how sheâll react if he approaches her and says Steve is worried about her.Â
So⊠he keeps his distance. Watching her until she leaves the store and gets in her car. Then he hops on his bike, following her as fast as he can.
Stalking your friends is what you do when youâre concerned, right?Â
He gives himself a little grace on the matter as he watches Dove get out of her car and walk into the old WSQK building. Not where he thought sheâd been hiding but he guesses she really didnât want to be found then.Â
Heâs back at the Harrington house by nightfall, the sun setting over the trees and gray clouds rolling in with the promise of rain. Lucas barely even stops his bike before he tosses it onto the ground and stumbles into Steveâs house, not even bothering to knock.
Robin and Steve are sitting in the living room. Robin lies on her back on the longest couch while Steve paces, voicing his problems to her like sheâs his therapist. They were supposed to be filling out job applications, but that got sidetracked very quickly.
âAnd I donât know, I mean I said 'I want you' and maybe that was too forward,â Steve complains, gesturing as he walks. âBut she can't think I only want her for sex, right? Like we never even did itâwell okay, we did do something but it didn't get very far because she pushed me away after I went doââ
"Too much information!" Robin covers her ears.Â
"Oh grow up, you asked what was wrong," Steve grumbles. "Anyway, I know she had a lot of issues with guys before but...I don't know I guess I thought I was better, I guess. Like I tried really hard not to push anything, I tried really hard not to have feelings for her in general but that failed, terribly. But besides all of that, she means more to me than just someone to have sex with. Dove is...she's been there for me more than anyone else ever has before. I just want to fix this, you know? I want to fix this for her."
âWell, maybe she doesn't need it fixed,â Robin replies, tossing the baseball sheâd been holding into the air. âMaybe you should stop trying to be her white knight and just be her friend. You know, be yourself.â
âI'm not trying o be her white knight.â
âUh, you do, with your whole âIâm Steve and Iâm here to save you Doveâ. You literally just said 'I just want to fix this'. I mean seriously Steve, not all women need saving.â
âI know that!â
âThen why can't you just tell her how you actually feel?â
Steve sighs and drops onto the opposite couch, burying his face in his hands.
âI just donât know, Robin. It's like the words get stuck in my throat, you know? And I know I don't need to save her, I want to. I want her to trust me and know how much I care. And this is something I really feel, like deeply, and it's scary because the last girl I said I loved looked me in the eyes and told me I was bullshit. Which...which absolutely destroyed me to be honest.â
He sighs, looking over to the lamp on the side table.
"I just want her to be okay. I really like her, no I love her, in more ways than one. And it wasn't like this with Nance, this is different."
It's so much different because this goes way past a physical attraction for her. It's deeply seated in his soul, like it was always there and he's just not discovered it. Â
Robin smiles softly. A little sad, but genuine. "I think she just needs time, Steve. This is hard for her, it would be for anyone and yeah she's handling it a little differently then other's would but maybe that's just how she deals with things. Butââ
The front door flying open cuts their conversation short.
âI⊠foundâŠâ Lucas says, leaning forward with his hands on his knees, completely gassed from the miles he biked and the adrenaline finally wearing off.
âSinclair?â Steve asks, jumping up from the couch. âFound what?â
âDove,â Lucas pants, straightening after a deep breath. âSheâs at the radio station. WSQK.â
Robin stands immediately, grabbing Steveâs shoulder and forcing him to look at her before he can move. âSteve, see? Sheâs safe. No Russians.â
Steveâs jaw tightens, his bottom lip tingling as his teeth dig into it. âRight. Right, yeah. Good. Okay. We know where she is. Thatâs good. Maybe I canââ
âSteveââ
âIâll just call and make sureââ
âSteve, let her grieve how she needs to,â Robin says gently, pressing him back down onto the couch. âShe needs time. She needs space to figure it out.â
Steve can practically taste blood from chewing his lip, but he nods, leaning forward and grabbing the job application heâd abandoned to talk about his feelings.
Lucas stares at his back in shock.
âWhat are you doing?â
Steve looks back at him, confused. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, why are you not going after her?â Lucas asks, disbelief creeping into his voice. âYou gathered us together for âDove patrolâ, and now weâve found her and youâre just going to sit here? Steve, seriously, man.â
âLucas, maybe Dove wants to be alone,â Robin snaps, frustration creeping in. âShe hasnât reached out for a reason obviously. Why canât you guys see that?â
âBecause she literally never wants to be alone!â Lucas yells, his voice cracking on the word literally. âAfter everything that happened last year, she always had people around. She was there for all of us. You guys made us feel normal after everything! She's always there for us. She needs her friends!â
Lucas pants at the end of his rant, his eyes locking with Steveâs as he says the next words.
âShe needs you.â
Steveâs keys are in his hand before he even realizes it. Heâs out the front door and nearly trips over himself as he races to his car, Robin yelling, âJust be yourself!â as she watches him tear out of the driveway.
--------------------
Dove is cleaning the kitchen of the WSQK building, the sounds of âEvery Breath You Takeâ fills the air nicely. The past week has given her enough mundane tasks, along with new and exciting ones, to quiet her brain of all the depressing thoughts. Clean, organize, make sure the queue is set until 1 a.m., before thereâs a lull before the early morning show at five.
The late nights are good. She hasnât been sleeping much anyway since she stopped staying at Steveâs.
Jimmy Fast Hands gave her full reign pretty quickly after she came in a week ago to see if Eddieâs suggestion had been true. Sheâs enjoying helping out at the radio station a lot more than she thought she would. The routine allowing her to not dwell on things to hard.Â
Tonight is a good night. The rain starting outside makes the warm lighting of the station feel cozy, and Dove thinks she might actually sleep.
But the thoughts consuming her now are about Steve.
This insane voice, the one that kept pushing her to a dark place keeps telling her she canât expect him to be there for her. That he wouldnât even want to be there. Even after heâs shown up for her so many times. It tells her she'll only hurt him with how she feels. That she takes up too much space and what she did...
Heâs safer at this distance. She canât make him carry her burdens. She canât make him miserable if she stays away. She can't hurt him or herself anymore.Â
Her father would have had a cow if he saw her behavior since July 4th.
And thatâs something sheâs never really thought about until Steve came into her life. How Steve has made her feel more things than she can ever remember feeling. Even when her dad died and told her to be brave, she didnât even feel the need to cry. She can never remember a time where she felt things normally. That makes her her think she's a little broken, when she knows she's not. But that voice, it's gotten to her more and more. It's never been there before but it's winning.Â
And as awful as it is to say, she was shocked by how torn up she was about her motherâs death. Dove Jones had never experienced strong emotions, but when Steve Harrington came into her life⊠all she could do was feel things. Something changed that night last fall. Dove always just chalked it up to the trauma from the events, but the more sheâs thought about it recently, Steve was the thing that made her change.
In more ways than she actually knew.
The queue is coming to an end, and Dove moves back to the wall of records to begin picking out music for the next hour after the run of ads. Her hands hover over the vinyl shelves, fingers brushing along the spines until they stop on the newer Tears for Fears record. Everybody Wants to Rule the World stares back at her.
Her mind drifts to Steve blasting this song at full volume every time it comes on the radio. He likes this one.
Maybe sheâll play it just for him.
God, what is wrong with her?
âJust talk to him,â Dove mutters to herself, pulling out the record and walking back to the booth. âI mean, heâll understand itâs Steve, and maybe then you can finally just tell him how you feel, like actually tell him. But thatâs only if he doesnât hate you now for saying those things to him and then running away. God, Jones you really need to st-
Tires crunch against gravel and headlights shine through the stationâs front windows, making Doveâs rant come to an abrupt stop. She runs to the front door and peers outside, shocked when she sees the familiar burgundy Beamer parked out front.
She pushes the door open and steps under the awning just as Steve gets out of the car.
âSteve? What are you doing here?â she yells over the rain that has begun pounding down on him, soaking his hair and shirt.
âLucas saw you today and followed you here,â Steve confesses, closing the driverâs door and stepping into the headlights still cutting through the rain. âListen, I canât keep doing this.â
There are about five yards between them. Dove stays sheltered from the rain while Steve stands fully exposed, accepting it without hesitation.
âDoing what?â Dove asks.
âThisâThis not talking thing,â Steve says, throwing his hands up in frustration. âI canât keep letting you push me away when I need you.â
Dove blinks, tears forming as she fights to keep them from falling. âSteve, IâI donât know whatââ
âDove, just talk to me, please,â Steve begs, taking half a step closer but staying in the rain.Â
âI canât,â Dove breathes, holding herself back from running to him and clinging on. Thereâs that one part of her holding her back from going to him, like sheâs being held by a string.Â
âWhy?â
Silence stretches between them, the rain pelting down the only sound.
âDove,â Steve says, drawing her eyes back to him. âI need you to need me, because I canât breathe without you. Youâve infected my mind. Youâre all Iâve been thinking about. You took over my brain that night at the Snowball Danceââ
âThe Snowball Dance? But, you were still in love with Nancy then,â Dove cuts in.
âNancy?â
âYou looked for her in every room and got upset every time you saw her with Jonathan. You complained about her to me for weeks. You told me how heartbroken you were and Iââ Dove stops herself, remembering the words Steve spoke to Robin in the mall bathroom. He was over Nancy, he didnât love her anymore. She knows that. Sheâs known that.
âI donât know how much more obvious I need to be that Iâm over Nancy,â Steve laughs, shaking his head. âDove, you are literally all I think about. I never understood how strong this feeling could be. Yeah, Nancy was the first girl I ever loved, but thatâs not the same as how I feel about you.â
âAnd how do you feel about me?â Dove asks, his words making her heart flutter as they slowly drown out the voice in her head telling her to stay put.
Another beat of silence passes as Steve looks at her, fists clenched at his sides before he releases them, letting out a breath at the same time.
âI love you, Dove Jones,â he says. âI love you more than Iâve ever loved anything in my life, because you make me feel like the best version of myself. I canât imagine a life without you because youâre already in me. Watching you while the Russians tortured me or when you tried to risk your life to help El, I have never been more sick or scared of losing someone. Youâre justâŠeverywhere. In my head. All the time and I canât sleep without you beside me or knowing that youâre safe. Every time youâve pushed me away since we made it out broke my heart more and more everyday because I wantâno, I need you. I love you.â
He takes one step closer.Â
"And I don't just want you for sex. I don't know where you got that idea from but I...I could never just want you for that. You're not a prize to me. You're Dove. My Dove. Who builds snowmen with me when my dad and I fight and plays with my hair when I never let anyone touch my hair. You have given me so much peace since you came into my life. I've gone back on everything I believe since I've gotten close with you and...I can't keep living without you. So yeah, I love you Dove, I love you so goddamn much it makes me crazy."
Steve wants her closer, but he respects the distance, nails digging into his palms as he waits. The silence is unbearable.
âSay something,â he pleads. âPlease. I canât keep going without you. Let me in. I needââ
Dove doesnât let him finish, the string holding her back snaps. She launches herself into the rain, into his arms, finally crushing the voice telling her she canât have this, and presses her lips to his.
His hands hold her sides, fingers digging in and pulling her flush against him. Dove melts into it like muscle memory finally given permission to exist.
The kiss is deeper than the last ones they shared. Less frantic, more intentional. Steve makes a low sound in his chest when her hands slide into his hair, and he kisses her like itâs the only way to keep breathing. Like heâs been starving for this and only just found food.
Dove exhales into him, a shaky breath she feels like sheâs been holding for weeks. Her hands slide to his chest, gripping his shirt and pulling him closer, needing him closer. No more pushing down her emotions and praying they go away. Because fuck it, she doesnât need to know what comes next. Steve loves her and heâs saying it whole heartedly and unashamed. She needs him.
The kiss slows, growing heavy with meaning instead of urgency. Steveâs grip tightens before he deepens it again, turning Dove and pressing her against the hood of his car. He leans into her, hands moving up her back, savoring every sound she makes until she pulls away, gasping for air.
His lips chase hers, landing one last soft kiss before he rests his forehead against hers, nudging his nose along the side of hers. The rain weighs her hair down, clinging to her cheeks, and Steve pushes it back, wiping away the droplets scattered across her skin.
âIâm sorry I pushed you away again,â Dove breathes, her voice catching. âI just⊠I think Iâve been confused. I didnât know who I was after everything.â
Steveâs heart breaks at her honesty.
âBut I think I know one thing for sure,â Dove continues, her hands sliding from his sides to cradle his face. Sheâs not afraid to name it anymore. âI love you too, Steve. And I think, deep down, I know I've been for a long time. And I love you so much that Iâm scared of it. I didnât know what to do with that, so I ran. Youâve been nothing but kind and patient with me, and Iâve been confusing and unfair, and just a bitch, and Iâm sorryââ
Steve holds her face again, interrupting her this time with a soft kiss. She melts, the tension leaving her shoulders as their lips part and she looks at him. His eyes are molten as they look at her, full of adoration and longing. Dove has never received such a loving look before.
Sheâs crying now, her voice trembling. âI donâtâSteveâIâve never felt like this before ever, and thatâs terrifying to me. But I...I think I want all of it, with you. Because youâre the reason I am finally feeling something. And I want to be there for you and give myself to you, but Iâm so scared of myself and that Iâll hurt you when I donât mean to. I just donât know whatâs next or what to do, andâŠâ
âIâm here, right now. Iâm here for you,â Steve says without hesitation. âYou donât have to be scared. I love you, and I always will. Let me in. Let me be there for you. Let me love you, because I really donât know how to do this without you.â
Thereâs a pause, Doveâs breath trapped in her chest as she white-knuckles his shirt. Her gaze drops, and for a second â just a second â that part of her that doesnât want her to have anything good tries to win. That voice telling her something different, trying to corrupt everything good she has ever had.Â
But Steve looks at her, and thereâs something in his eyes that pushes that voice away.
Heâs here.
He wants her.
Her lips crash into his again, pouring everything she has into the kiss.Â
He pulls back abruptly, "This...this isn't some plow just to have sex, you that right?"
Dove stares at him, rain pouring down both of them, soaking their hair and clothes, and laughs.Â
"God, I would hope not," she says, the bright smile that Steve loves on her consuming her features.Â
"Okay, okay good because if this...if this did lead to that tonight I wouldn't want you to think thatâ"
"Steve."
"Yeah?"
"I want that."
Steve smiles, a little boyish and happy because the girl he's in love with just says she wants that with him. Can you blame him? His hands slide back to her waist, lifting her from the car as he spins her around, holding her tight as the rain keeps falling, kissing her with that smile still on his face. Â
âThen come home,â Steve says once heâs set her down. âCome home and let me love you, please.âÂ
âIâve gotta stay here and close up,â Dove replies, her hands framing his face and brushing the water that ran down his cheeks.Â
He groans, head falling into the croak of her neck, hands gripping her hips tightly. âFine, but come home. Sleep with me, I havenât slept since you left.âÂ
So, four hours later, when the stars filled the sky and the rain had passed by the turn of the day, Doveâs car sat in its rightful place in the Harrington driveway. Her presence now needed with Steve, where she lays now under him, his lips painting her neck with kisses and loving bruises.
His hands roam her body, feeling her up and she loves every touch he gives her.Â
Steve was afraid heâd never get to have her like this. But now as he lays slotted between her thighs, kissing down her body, he finds himself in heaven.Â
âSteve,â she gasps, fingers tangling in his hair as his lips kiss her breasts. Clothes had been discarded long ago, both of them left in their undergarments.
It's different than every other time she's had sex. Of course, those times weren't fueled with love like this is. Those were fueled by lust and a need to prove something.Â
Doveâs bra is unclasped without her even expecting it and Steveâs lips clasp around her nipple, causing her to let out a moan that Steve desperately wants to hear more and more of.Â
âWe can stop, if youâre not ready,â Steve whispers, despite himself. His hand is clutching the side of her thigh, his lips ghosting over the skin of her neck, breathing in her scent. âJust tell me what you want, baby.â
The pet name has her keening, pulling at his locks and encouraging him back to her lips.Â
She whispers against his lips, âPlease, please donât stop.â Kissing him again and running her hands down his body, trying to pull him closer when he then pulls away. âIâm ready. I want this, I want you. So please, don't stop.â
Steveâs lips lay to Doveâs forehead, his hand traveling across her stomach, the muscles twitching at the warmth that radiates from it. Heâs slow in his movements, making her impatiently wiggle beneath his touch.Â
âStop teasing,â she says, her voice stern but no seriousness behind it as she stares fondly into her favorite honey-brown eyes.Â
âPatience, Wonder Women,â he replies, kissing her neck and leaving another mark as he encourages her legs to part with his hand traveling between them. He stops again, hand on her pussy, barely a touch. âAre you sure? I mean, I want this, I really, really want this but ifâif you need time we can wait. I don't want you to thinkâI donât want to rush this.â
His words are full of concern even with the heel of his palm pressed against her and her heart flutters.Â
âPretty boy,â she says, placing her hands on his face and making their noses bump as she brings his face square to hers. âI am so sure. Please, please touch me.â
Steve is good at following directions. And coming out of her mouth, so sure and wanting, he wastes no time in dipping his finger into her. Sheâs gasping at the intrusion, her mouth letting out the most amazing sounds as he adds a second finger, curling them inside her. Heâs finding all the places that have her eyes fluttering shut and lips parting. When sheâs moaning his name loudly as she comes undone, Steve canât help himself from grinding against her leg to relieve some tension.
He sheds his boxers once her orgasm has fully ridden out, letting his dick spring free.Â
âDove,â he whispers, hovering over her fully, one hand caressing her thigh pulling her open, looking into her green eyes.
She pulls him back to her lips, kissing him deeply and grabbing him herself. Pumping him a few times before lining him up and then pulling her mouth off of his.Â
âI need you, Steve.â
The words have him sinking into her now, his chest full and head hazy as she envelopes him. This is heaven. Itâs perfect. Sheâs perfect. If he died now, heâd be set. But he doesnât want to die now, because he wants to do this over and over until her legs are wobbly and he has to carry her tomorrow. And the next day because he'll do this again and again.
Which he would do without a single complaint.
Steve moves; slow, deep, filling every space she didnât know was empty. His hand slides up her thigh, holding her leg open more, his other clutching hers so tightly she knows heâll never let go. She doesnât want him to. She never wants to. Sheâs pushed that part that wonât let her feel love, be loved, so far away in this moment itâs not even a voice that echoes in her mind. Because he has been showing her love and care. Not faltering once in her time being distant. He stayed by her side and tried to be there for her even while she tried to push him away.Â
Dove smiles, full and joyful as the pleasure courses through her whole body. She feels it, the love, the meaning of it as he thrusts into her. How he loves her.Â
Steve whispers her name like worship, a prayer, over and over as he moves inside her. Dove kisses his jaw, his cheek, his lips, any part of him she can reach, because this has cleared all the fog. She is in love with Steve Harrington. So deeply and utterly in love with him.Â
He feels so good moving inside her, his pace slow but not agonizingly so, just loving. Making her moan and beg for more andâ
"Yes, yes, oh right there, don't stop." Steveâs hand sneaks between them, finding her clit and rubbing it at an expert pace to make her arch into him.Â
âOh, God, Steve,â she moans in his ear, chasing the feeling of her release.Â
âYouâre so beautiful, Dove,â Steve groans in her ear, his pace picking up when her walls clench around him. "You're taking me so well, like you were made for me. So beautifully made for me, I love you."
The praise is the tipping point.Â
âOh, Steve,â she moans loudly, hands racking down his back. He keeps thrusting into her to prolong her pleasure as long as possible, not able to stop himself because he means it, she feels like she was made for him. Â
He cums deep in her with a groan muffled into her shoulder, her name leaving his lips whiney and âI love youâ slipping out as well. His whole body shudders as he holds her like sheâs his whole world. Because she is.Â
âI love you too,â she whispers back into his hair.
After, Steve cleans her up, a warm rag between he legs and she knows he's nothing like every guy she's slept with before for sure now (not that she needed much more then the two orgasm she just had).
They lay with legs tangled, sheets ruffled and only covering the parts of them that felt necessary, Doveâs head lies on Steveâs chest. Her fingers draw mindless shapes over his pec, the hair growing there tickling her skin as his hand twists one of her curls around his finger.
âIâm sorry, again, for being so distant the past month and being a bitch. I shouldn't have said what I said that night,â Dove says, the guilt of her behavior still heavy in her chest. â And I shouldnât have ran away, I shouldâve stayed and talk but I didnât know what to do and Iââ
âHey, donât,â Steve says, placing a kiss on her forehead. âItâs been a hard time for all of us. We literally were tortured. I never expected you to be fine after that, no one did. Especially after watchingââ
He trails off, unable to say it, afraid the wound is still too fresh.
âI know,â Dove says softly. âItâs just⊠I shouldâve talked to you. I shouldâve let you talk. You went through that too and it wasnât fair that I was being so selfishâŠâ She pushes herself up slightly so she can look him in the eyes. âWhen my dad died, I promised him Iâd never be weak. Because he never showed his weaknesses, even while lying in that hospital bed.â
Steveâs hand slides over her bicep, grounding and gentle, as she takes a shaky breath and keeps going. This is the most sheâs ever said about her dad to him. To anyone.
âBut even before that, I just never really felt anything strongly before, I dunno, I canât explain it,â Dove continues, a tear slipping free that sheâs exhausted from fighting. âWhen we met last fall and everything happened with this supernatural bullshit and getting beat up way too often, I actually started to feel something. I thought it was just trauma but Iâve had trauma before. You were the only difference and the more we hung out, the more I started to feel, which is why I think I kicked you out that night from my room.â
She swallows.
âAnd I knew I was falling in love with you because I started needing you more and more, and that scared me. Iâd never needed anyone like that before. So I pushed you away, hoping it would go away. But it didnât. It just left me worse off than before.â
Steve brushes her hair back from her face, his hand cradling her cheek. âDove⊠I need you too, you know.â
âI know,â she says quickly. âAnd I love being there for you. Through everything. Everything about your parents, how you were coping with change, about Nancy, I loved being there for you. And after the mallâŠI guess I was selfish, because at least I knew you were okay. Alive. ButâŠâ She exhales, frustrated with her own thoughts. âI donât know, Steve. I wanted you so badly I convinced myself you could never want me. Because you never acted like every other guy and that...I don't know I felt like I didn't deserve it. I still kinda do, but I'm not going to keep lying to myself about it.â
Steve smiles at her, something warm and proud in his expression, though thereâs an ache underneath it. No one had ever been good enough to her.
âYou, my dear Dove, are too good for me,â he says, leaning up to press a slow kiss to her lips. âI donât think Iâd be who I am now if you hadnât come along and helped whip me into shape. I donât know where Iâd be.â
âProbably still hanging out with Tommy Hagan,â Dove laughs, pushing a rogue strand of hair off his forehead.
âAnd what an asshole Iâd still be,â Steve laughs with her, kissing her again because he can now. âYou donât need to apologize. Just let me be there, donât push me away. Let me love you and take care of you. Even when you donât want it. Let me help you feel strong when you feel weak. Let me help you figure out what comes next. Because I love you, Dove.â
Her lips curve into an involuntary smile, warmth blooming in her chest as she kisses him again, deeper this time. She cradles his face, pulling him closer as she leans back, only to pull away moments later, amused by the dazed look in his eyes.
âI love you, Steve Harrington,â she says, proud and sure. âAnd I think wherever Iâm meant to be next will come to me when itâs time. But right nowââ she settles back against his chest, fitting there easilyâ âright now, I want to be right here with you.â
Iâm not saying anything else about AI and the use of it on tumblr. But perhaps learn to engage with everything you read. Reblogging is so helpful for us. Comments. Asks. ENGAGEMENT lets us know that you like what youâre reading. Because right now it all feels futile after so much work.
Popular authors that Iâve seen get thousands of notes are now barely getting anything that feels like itâs worth it. Itâs not entitlement either, you donât see our side where people message us, excited about fics or ideas, but then thereâs barely engagement.
Stop expecting authors to pull out 100k words in a week. There are fast writersâ I am oneâ but there are amazing writers that have a different timeline. AND THATâS OKAY TOO.
AGAIN. PLEASE JUST ENGAGE WITH EVERYTHING. The like button only does so much.
Canon in the Savior Complex Universe, these drabbles are little parts of Steve Harrington and Dove Jones' story that didn't quite fit into the narrative of the main storyline. Think of them as fanfics for the fanfic, but canon!
Summary: The first time Dove Jones shows up at Steve Harringtons house after she has a nightmare.
Warnings: nightmares, descriptions of strangulation, and normal stranger things stuff!
Authors note: I once again shouldâve included all this in the original storyline but I wasnât planning on getting this invested in the story when I started writing so here we are!
Read the on going series here on tumblr & here on ao3!!
December 27th, 1984
When Dove was 13, she realized she might be betterâŠendowed then the other girls. To put it bluntly, her boobs by age thirteen were much larger than the rest of the girls in her class. Her hips were also wider and at thirteen she looked much different than the other girls. Much more grown up.
In middle school, she got picked on for that. Getting called chunky and other cruel names she tries to forget. She also got stared at a lot by boys, and men unfortunately.
By fifteen, Dove had really come into her own. The âchunkâ turned into nice curves and her boobs became proportional to the rest of her. She still found it really difficult to squeeze her ass into most jeans, but she was okay with it. She liked herself. She liked how she looked and so did every other guy at Hawkins High. Because frankly, she was gorgeous.
And being on the volleyball team gave every guy the ample opportunity to look at Dove Jones as one thing only. A prize to be won.
Those guysâthe ones who would show up to the game just to ogle at the girlsâwere the ones who dubbed her dick biting Dove. Which all started when one of them (Luke T.) was embarrassed that she didnât want to give him head so he made this rumor that sheâd bit him when she went down on him. This made her look like a freak and then it became the challenge of who could get into Dove Jonesâs pants without getting their dick bit off.
It was a stupid game or bet or whatever it was. One she hated with a passion because every guy who took her out wanted one thing and one thing only: sex. Dove, whose favorite stories in history have to do with professions of love, was subjected to guys who went out with her to get the coolest notch in their belts.
If you could sleep with Dove, you had it, thatâs what they were convinced of.
Dove figured it out after the second guy convinced her to sleep with him after their first date. Mitchell had been really sweet and she liked him, but he rambled a little too much and let it out that there was a bet going around the school.
She became very selective with guys after that.
Steve Harrington was no exception to that case when he came into her life. Sure, she thought he was attractive and appreciated his âknight in shining armorâ act but Dove was trying to be better about just jumping from guy to guy.
And after Billy, she definitely needed a break.
Steve was a great friend though. She found herself enjoying his company a lot more than she thought she would and her heart flutters when he lingers closer. Which he had been doing a lot more recently. And she has too, which is why she finds herself knocking on his door at 1:39 in the morning after she was violently awoken by a nightmare.
Billy was over her, hands wrapped around her throat. Sheâs thrashing, panicking, his grip is so tight. She turns her head and thereâs the four tweens she made herself responsible for that night in the junkyard. Theyâre hiding behind a car door because theyâre somehow in the junkyard and then she turns the other wayâand thereâs Steve. Eyes glossy and almost completely limp as a demo dog snarls over him. His hand is reaching out to her, his last act trying to help her before the dog sinks its flower faced teeth into him andâ
She jolts awake and is out of her house quicker than she could imagine. And thatâs how she finds herself wrapped in some old sweater sheâs sure was her sister's and a thick pair of plaid pajama pants on Steveâs doorstep. Sheâs praying heâs awake, or maybe she woke him because itâs so cold. Sheâs shivering.
âDove?â Steve yawns, his perfect hair tussled sleepily and worn grey Detroit Lions shirt resting on his frame. That surprises her, seeing as they live in Indiana and she was sure Steve was an Indiana sports fan throw and throw butâŠthatâs not important right now.
âHey, hi sorry, itâs late I know itâs late, itâs just, Iâum, itâs this I shouldnât have come hereââ
âWas it a nightmare?â
Dove sucks in her bottom lip, feeling embarrassed. She doesnât like feeling this way. Vulnerable. Wanting to need someone. Sheâs always just needed herself, for as long as she could remember. But stupid Steve Harrington and his stupidly perfect smile and moles and hair cracked some part of her that makes her feel like she can feel these things.
That terrifies her a lot more than she cares to admit probably.
Because with any other guy she wouldâve just been able to push it away. Feelings, emotions, all of it would be gone if she just wanted them to be. That was easy since every guy had decided she was only worth locker room credibility. It was easy to justify not ever having feelings for anyone because of that.
Stupid Steve Harrington. He was supposed to be an asshole, not someone who invites her over to study and buys her dinner at the diner expecting nothing in return. Heâs supposed to be a chauvinistic rich asshole, not someone who looks so adorable when sleepy and has kind eyes and actually cares. Stupid Steve Harrington.
They end up in his living room, two glasses of water, no ice, sitting on the table as Dove plays with the frays of her sweater. Steve turns on the TV, some rerun of Saturday Night Live is playing when it kicks on. The studio audience's laughter fills the room as Dan Aykroyd puts a fish in a blender.
For about five minutes, neither of them say anything. Dove sits with her legs crossed on one corner of the couch and Steve sits on the other, arms crossed and watching the TV.
She honestly didnât expect it to be this awkward. She figured heâd just give her a pillow and a blanket and she could sleep on the couch. Or heâd tell her to get lost and grow a pair, it was after all just a nightmare.
But he doesnât do either of those things. Instead, he sits on the couch with her in silence. She canât figure out if itâs helping or not yet.
âSoâŠ.â Steve finally speaks, head lulling slowly over to the side so he can look at her. âDo you want to talk about it now or let this episode finish first?â
Dove blinks at him, puzzled by the question because either option doesnât give her the chance to not talk about it. Which would be her choice. âUhâŠ.I donâtâŠ.know if thereâs anything to really talk about.â
Steve furrows his brows in confusion. âSo you just came over here âcauseâŠwhat exactly? I thought you were upset âcause you couldnât talk about this with your mom.â
Dang she did say that didnât she? Talking to her mom about it versus talking to Steve about it are two entirely different things. She talks to her mom about everything. Because sheâs her mom andâŠshe doesnât judge her. She just nods and gives her the best Veronica Jones advice she can. Which usually is very factual and scientific because she is a scientist after all.
âI mean, itâs kinda just the same thing I said the other dayâŠBilly really fucked with my head and heâd been aggressive before butâŠyou know being strangled and all is odd.â
Steve just nods, listening intently before standing up and offering his hand out to her. âWell, I promise you Billy Hargrove wonât get you here. Iâll make sure of it.â
Dove looks at his hand and then back at his face. Heâs got that stupid boyish smile and his eyes catch the low lamp light making them that honey brown she finds herself craving to see more.
Slowly, like sheâs not really sure she should be doing it, she takes Steveâs hand, letting him pull her up.
âLetâs get some sleep, and Iâll gladly take a plate to the head again if he shows up,â Steve jokes, making Dove huff out a laugh as they climb the stairs to his room.
âI donât think your head could handle it, itâs big enough already.â Dove holds back a smile as she says it, tickled by her own insult.
âIâll have you know, my head is actually of average size thank you very much,â Steve quips back as they enter the room. He had let go of her hand before they even came up the stairs but she still can feel the weight of it.
He hopes back into his bed, gesturing the left side to her and Dove climbs in. Thereâs still a respectable amount of space between them. Calculated and known. But this time, Dove feels herself wanting that space to be nonexistent. Sheâs hoping that goes away as it twists in her stomach and moves to her chest. Pulling on her heart string.
Iâve been thinking about how I wished I blinded more things in savior complex, like little moments about Steve and Doves relationship before the graduation party and also during their time after they first got together.
But then I realized I have free will and can do whatever I want and write those one off headcanons! So when I add those to the main master list as extras, just know you donât have to necessarily read those for the main plot but theyâre great additions to get to know not only Doge more but also Steve and her together!
summary: The curse settles in deeper as the group scrambles for answers and emotions begin running high. Doveâs visions grow stronger as more pieces of the past reveal and she still doesnât fully understand. Max prepares for the worst in her own way, the people around her struggle with how helpless they really are. And as everything starts spiraling further out of control, Steve becomes more determined than ever to keep Dove safeâwhether she wants him to or not.
warnings: panic attacks, trauma/repressed memories, survivorâs guilt, stranger things horror
authors note: Grad season will kill me and my brain is fried. BUT WE MUST PREVAIL. I am going to break your heart soon, I'm sorry.
Chapter 19
Chapter 20: I'll Be Watching You
March 12, 1976
Martin wasnât sure how it happened. Heâd gotten it under control now. Henry had been reminded of his goal, or rather the goal they had given him. Dove was happily playing with the doll they had given her. The new subject wasâŠfine. Martin really didnât want to pay attention to him but he was useful. He was still responding weirdly to the tests and Henry. That piqued Martinâs curiosity more than anything. Â
He had walked away for only a little while. Heâd done so before. He just wanted some coffee because heâs been spending countless hours making notes and studying all the new things heâs found out. It was just a few minutes but somehow, Henry knew he was gone from the viewing room. One way glass is no use anymore. He knew heâd stepped away and that was his chance. Martin still isnât sure what his plan is, or why he was so obsessed but he was persistent and it was starting to become a problem.
No, not starting to become one, it was one. Because Subject S was now standing in front of Dove, an unconscious Dove, in between her and Henry.Â
âYouâre being mean!â The boy yells, keeping a firm stance in front of the small girl.Â
Sheâs limp, bleeding from her ears and nose. Martin is unsure of how it happened-or what had happened. Henry had tried taking over before but this-this was different. Heâd started acting strange in the last few days. More possessive, more controlling. It was making Martin worried. And he was right to feel that way heâs realized.
Henry looks like heâs in pain. Straining against something. Pushing against something. Heâs not winning, which is a strange thing to witness.Â
Scientists rush into the room, moving to the unconscious girl on the ground. But the boy, Martin shouldâve learned his name by now but heâs been too focused on Dove to care, lays his body over her yelling âGet away from her! Get away! Youâre evil! All of you!â
Itâs sweet to see him protecting the young girl. But sheâs in desperate need of medical attention. Her monitors and levels are all off andâŠsheâs flat lining.Â
Somewhere in the chaos, the boy is pulled off of her, Dove is taken away and Henry is put in his room. Yelling and writhing in pain as heâs pulled away, screaming out âDonât take her away youâre ruining it! Ruining everything!âÂ
How he got out of his room and into hers is truly a mystery to Martin.Â
âWhere is my son?â Subject Sâs father storms into the room. He mustâve heard the commotion from all the scientists scrambling. Â
Martin opens his mouth to speak but another Doctor follows his path into the room saying, âMr. Harrington, please, heâs alright just follow me.âÂ
As they exit, Martin can hear the Doctor explaining to Mr. Harrington what had happened. How his son had stepped into Doveâs room and interrupted something and then it all went to hell. Mr. Harringtonâs voice fills with fury when Martin hereâs him yelling at who he presumes is his son. A failure, a fuck-up, a disappointment.Â
Martin would feel bad if he wasnât so utterly concerned about what just happened.Â
Monday morning comes and Hawkins continues its normal life during this early spring break. While life continues normally for most in the town, those in the Wheelersâ basement lives are anything but.
On the couch, Lucas and Dustin sit, reading their own copies of the Weekly Watcher article the older girls had found in the library. Steve is parallel to them, standing and pacing, reading it as well.
Across the room, in the same spot she sat down in the night before, is Max. Sheâs been writing furiously all night. Not too far from her is Dove. She found sleep at some point in the night, but she left it when her mind became restless, needing to figure out why she was at Hawkins Lab as a child. Sheâs currently reading anything Dustin and Mike had stored about the lab in the basement, trying to jog any memory.
âOkay, be honest,â Steve says, groaning as he starts. âUh, you guys understand any of this?â
âNo,â Lucas says.
âPretty straightforward,â Dustin interrupts with a shrug.
âOh, straightforward, really?â Steve rolls his eyes.
âWhatâs confusing to you? So far, everyone Vecna cursed has died, except for this old Victor Creel dude Nancy found. Heâs the only survivor,â Dustin explains, his tone rising as he does. âIf anyone knows how to beat this curse, itâs him.â
Steve stops pacing, shooting glances over his shoulder to Dove. Last nightâor really early this morningâhe watched as more of her past began to fall into place for her. She remembered New York, a little bit of her childhood there before they moved to Hawkins. She remembered being at the doctor a lot, and not just for her dad. And now she knows she spent a lot of time in Hawkins National Laboratoryâa place he has only heard terrible things about since Eleven broke out of there.
Itâs all a lot. Itâs a lot of information, emotion, and true and utter confusion for Steve. Why would she be there? Why would her parents bring her there to help her dad? What would that do for her dad? What did they do to her there? If Vecna has anything to do with it, why does he want her?
And now this extra background layer, Steve finds himself getting more frustrated with all this information. So his tone comes out much harsher than he intends as he snaps back to Dustin. âYeah, thatâs assuming he was cursed, Henderson, which we donât even know.â
Dustinâs eyebrows raise. Then he bounces his eyes over to Dove sitting against the wall. Her knees pulled to her chest, a notebook against them as she writes.
Steve lets out a sorry sigh. âHow could Vecna have existed in the â50s? It just doesnât make sense.â
Dustinâs eyes jump back to Steve. âFar as we know, Eleven didnât create the Upside Downâshe opened a gate to itââ
Doveâs ears perk up at that, a chill running up her spine as another memory comes to her.
âOne day, Iâll take you there,â he says, looking down at Dove as he walks her through the halls of the lab. âItâs safe there, where no one can hurt you. The place where peace is meant to be, not here.â
Dove writes it downâanother small fragment of a memory to add to the list. The connection that Hawkins Lab is the place she has seen in the visions has allowed her brain to bridge some gaps. The Upside Down must be where he wanted to take herâthe blonde man. Thatâs what she called him as a child. She doesnât think she ever knew his name.
âAnd why then?â Dove hears Steve say, tuning back into the conversation around her. âHe just pops out in the â50s, kills one family, and heâs like, âIâm good,â and poof, he just disappears. JustâŠgone? Only to return 30 years later and start killing random teens? Nah, I donât buy it.â
He looks back to Dove again, whose eyes are now on him. He straightens his shoulders a bit and sends her a soft smile before turning back to the two boys. âStraightforward my ass. Honestly, Henderson, a little humility now and thenâit wouldnât hurt ya.â
âSorry,â Dustin whispers as Steve plops into the old armchair, crossing his legs.
Dove rises from her spot on the ground, moving to sit on the arm of Steveâs chair. He looks up at her with a small smile, taking her hand closest to him and placing a kiss to her knuckles. Dustin makes a gagging sound, and Dove raises her other hand and flips him off.
Thereâs a moment of silence between the four sitting in the living room area of the basement, broken only by the gentle scraping of pencil coming from behind them. Slowly, everyoneâs eyes drift to the redhead at the desk.
âAny idea what sheâs writing?â Dustin asks quietly. âDid she sleep?â
âNo,â Dove mumbles softly. When she woke after her small amount of sleep, Max hadnât moved at all.
âI mean, would you?â Lucas asks slowly.
Steveâs hand, still holding Doveâs, squeezes it tightly as they watch Maxâs back. Itâs hard to stomach such a thoughtâthe thought of Maxâs fate being so determined, and a fate so awful. They will break the curse. Theyâve stopped this stuff before. Of course, half the teamâs missing now, and their muscle is gone, butâŠthey can stop it.Â
Right?
Because if they find out how to break the curse on Max, then that means they can get Dove out of whatever is going on with her. Shit, should they tell everyone else about that? Dustinâs the only one that kinda knows, but since finding out the news about Max, focus has only been on herâmostly due to Dove making the focus on her.
But they should tell everyone, right?
Nancy and Robin tumble down the stairs. They spent the whole night together, something Dove and Steve did not let go unnoticed when they saw Robin sneaking glances at Nancy. Itâs such an afterthought right now that they only giggled about it in the kitchen for a second before descending down the stairs to rest for the night.
The plan the two of them have is unfolded. Nancyâs kick-ass school paper friends helped them create fake Notre Dame transcripts and letters for them to present to the director. They will go in under the ruse of writing a co-thesis on paranoid schizophrenics and hopefully get to speak to Victor Creel. And while there are a lot of questions everyone has, hopefully he will have the answer.
âWaitâŠwaitâŠwait a second, uh,â Steve says, looking between the two files they had passed around. âWhere are mine and Doveâs?â
Doveâs honestly shocked Nancy got Robin into that outfit. A pink blouse and skirt is totally not Robinâs vibe. Doveâs hand hovers over her mouth to keep the laughter from spilling out as she and Steve watch her fuss over her outfit.
Itâs like watching a toddler.
âI really donât think this is going to work,â Robin huffs, blowing a piece of her bangs caught in her lashes out of her face.
âYeah, I agree,â Steve grumbles, still not liking that he and Dove were left to babysit again.
âListen, itâs all going to be great, okay? And Nancyâs right, Max needs us right now,â Dove says, pushing herself off the wall and over to Robin to help her fix her hair. âPlus, Robin would like some alone time with Nancy, right, Robs?â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â Robin snaps quickly, but the ever-so-subtle blush rising to her cheeks says otherwise.
âYeah, okay,â Steve snorts, pushing off the wall as well and looking at the makeup sitting on the bathroom counter. He picks up different items, inspecting them with no real thoughtâhe just wants something to do with his hands.
Dove twists a piece of Robinâs hair, pulling it back and pinning it with the nice barrette Nancy gave her to use. Apparently, Nancy had a lot of nice barrettes that went with specific outfits.
Steve begins muttering something behind her about makeup, but Dove canât hear it when she looks past Robin and sees the blonde man standing in the bathroom doorway. Heâs in all white, eyes a piercing blue, and hands folded behind his back.
âDovey,â he says, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.
Dove freezes in her spot, hands staying on the clip in Robinâs hair. This is different than the last couple of visions, because heâs here in the room with her. Right now. Theyâre not in the lab, not in a memory.
Heâs right there.
âDove?â Robin asks, looking at Dove in the mirror. Sheâs frozen, hands still locked on Robinâs head, her grip starting to tighten. âUh, Dove, youâre kinda hurting me.â
âDovey, Iâm so glad you can see me. Itâs time to go,â he says, his hand extending out to Dove.
âBabe?â Steve moves to Doveâs side, setting down the blush he had been toying with.
âDonât listen to him, Dovey. Heâs not here to help youâI am.â
âNo,â Dove murmurs, her voice wavering.
Her grip tightens on the barrette.
âOw, ow, Dove,â Robin winces, trying to move away from Doveâs grasp, but she only grips tighter, keeping her in her spot.
âDonât let her go, Dovey. Keep her there. Theyâre not here to help you.â
Doveâs hands stay in Robinâs hair without her even meaning to. She doesnât want to keep it there. But itâs like sheâs moving against her own will as her eyes canât move away from the blonde man.
âDove, hey, Dove,â Steve says, moving to grab her, pulling her hands out of Robinâs hair. Her grip is tightâlike, insanely tight. Tighter than Steve thought she could hold.
Steveâs eyes go to where Doveâs are trained, but nothingâs there. Then he looks at her eyes. Theyâre in that same glazed-over state, but itâs worse than before. So much worse. He can barely see their brilliant green.
âDove, baby, hey, look at me,â Steve says, moving around Robin carefully and grabbing Doveâs face with his hands. âCome on, itâs not real. Youâre not there.â
âDonât listenââ
Before the blonde man can finish what heâs saying, Dove snaps back to the world. Her hands release from Robinâs head. They had moved from just holding the barrette to locking around strands of her hair, pulling tightly.
Doveâs hands retract, holding them against her chest. She shies away from Steveâs touch, backing herself to the ledge of the bathtub, shaking slightly.
âRobin, IâI donât, Iâm so sorry, I donât know what happened, oh God, Iâm so sorry, Robsââ
âHey, whoa, itâs okay,â Robin reassures her, moving in front of her with Steve, who is quickly kneeling on the ground.
His hands come up, caressing the side of her head, moving some hair behind her ear and gently soothing her.
âSteve, whatâs going on?â Nancy says as she rushes into the bathroom after hearing the slightly raised voices.
Steve looks at the two standing above him and then to his girlfriend in front of him. Her eyes are brimming with tears, hands shaking as they rest gently in her lap. Her whole body is shaking.
âIâm so sorry,â Dove whispers again, shaking her head as a tear falls from her eye. It plops into her hands.
âNo, no, itâs okay, Dove, really.â Robin looks back to Nancy with wide eyes before looking at the couple again. âJustâŠis sheâŠare youâŠâ
âCursed?â Nancy finishes.
Steve snaps his head over to them to quickly shut the idea downâŠbut he canât. Because is she cursed?
âI donâtâŠI donât knowâŠâ Dove answers honestly, looking up to the two girls, fat tears pouring from her eyes. âGod, I donât know why Iâm crying, itâs so stupid.â
âHey, stop that,â Steve says, gently grabbing her wrists when she begins rubbing her face aggressively. âA few days ago, she had this nightmare and then started having theseâŠvisions? Andââ
âAnd youâre only telling us about this now?â Nancy snaps.
âWell, to be fair, we didnât know if it was connectedââ
âHow the hell would that not be connected?â
âI donât know, Nancy! Okay? Iâm sorry I didnât immediately inform you that my girlfriend was having nightmares and weird visions when she could barely even tell me about them,â Steve snaps, standing up from his kneeling position to face the brunette with his hands on his hips.
Nancy purses her lips, crossing her arms.
âLook, all we knowâall she knowsâis that itâsâitâs, uhâŠâ How does he even begin to explain this?
âIâve been having these visions, but theyâre not really visions. Theyâre memories. Itâs like theyâve been locked in a vault somewhere in my brain, and since that dream, theyâre slowly coming back to me. And sometimes, when they come back to meâŠitâs like Iâm transported there.â
Doveâs voice is wavering as she speaks. She doesnât dare look up from the bathroom rug. Sheâs afraid if she does, heâll be standing right behind Nancy.
âTransported where?â Robin asks.
Dove pulls her lips into a tight line, wringing her fingers together before answering, âHawkins Lab.â
âAnd you really didnât think to tell us?!â Nancyâs voice raises as she steps forward, but Steve steps in front of her before she can reach Dove.
âTo be fairâto be fairââ Steveâs hands are raised, like heâs trying to calm Nancy downââshe only figured out she was in Hawkins Lab in these memories, like, a couple hours ago, soââ
âThat still doesnât change the fact you shouldâve told us. Weâre a team, and we really shouldnât be keeping secretsââ
âYouâre right, Nancy, Iâm sorry. But I really donât think we need to worry about me when Max could literally be killed! So itâs fine. Now you guys know. Now please go find out what this Victor Creel guy knows so we can save her, yeah?â
Silence falls over the bathroom. Doveâs rightâMax should be the focus. They know what could happen to her if they donât break this curse. Right now sheâs on a clock. ButâŠSteve is now concerned about what happens when they canât get Dove out of a trance. What wouldâve happened to Robin if Steve wasnât there?
What would happen to Dove if he couldnât pull her out?
Maxâs hand hurts from writing. Sheâs started and stopped writing this letter three different times now. She figured it would be Billyâs that would be the hardest to write, and donât get her wrong, it was hardâbut somehow writing Lucasâs was harder.
She can feel eyes watching from behind her. Dustin and Lucas are still sitting on the couch, âlooking over the papersâ Nancy left them with, whispers traded between them that Max knows are about her. Her hand stills on the paper, halfway through Steveâs letter. Sheâs paused writing Lucasâs. Her bottom lip stings when she bites at it, chapped from nerves. Past the whispering behind her, she can hear the faint conversation on the other side of the stairs.
Well, it might be an argument. But Dove and Steve argue very differently than her parents did.
âI just really hope they figure something out,â Dove mutters, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. Sheâs still in Steveâs shirt she stole yesterday to wear, the sleeves reaching her elbows, brushing her forearms gently. Itâs soft, the stripped material reminding her of him because he really likes strips for some reason, and smells like him. Lingering of that Brut Feberge smell that he puts on after a shower, and something that only smells like Steve that every time she catches a whiff, it eases her mind.Â
âThey will. We will figure something out to help her,â Steve assures her, one of his hands covering hers on her arm. âButâŠmaybe we should talk about what happened upstairs? I mean, I know thatââ
âIâm fine, Steve.â
âDonât do that,â his voice is sad when he says it.
âDo what?â
Steve exhales heavily through his nose, his hands going to his hips as a brow raises. âThat thing you do where you make it about everyone else except you when you definitely need helpââ
âI donât need help, Max is literally over there writing goodbye lettersââ
âDonâtââ
âAnd weâre worried about some repressed memories I have coming upââ
âIt is not just repressed memories, Dove,â Steve snaps, stepping closer to her, his voice rising a little louder than the hushed tones they were using before. âYour eyes were completely glazed over upstairs. Gone. I almost couldnât pull you out, and you wouldnât let go of Robin. We canât just ignore that, âcause whatâs happening with you is also connected to whateverâs happening. So please, please tell meââ
âHe was there.â
They both stop talking for a second, eyes locking before Dove averts her gaze.
âWho? Vecna?â
Dove sighs heavily, her shoulders rising. âNo, I donâtâI donât know who he is. The only thing I remember calling him was the blonde man. I donât⊠the little boy called him Mr. H, but I donât know. But he was standing right there, telling me to come with him. I had no control over myself while looking at him andââ
Shit, here come the tears again.
âHey, hey, itâs okay.â Steveâs hands raise and cup her cheeks, wiping the tears that start to fall. Her mascara is barely there since she slept in it, but he still wipes the small smudges away. âWeâre gonna get through this. Weâre gonna figure this out. Iâm not gonna let anything happen to you.â
Dove smiles sadly at him. âDonât do that.â
âDo what?â
âThat thing where you make it all about me.â
Steve smirks, but he unfortunately knows sheâs serious.
âI donât need you worrying about me or trying to take care of me when something couldââ
âWhen something could happen to Max, I know, I know. But that doesnât mean something should happen to you.â
Dove holds back the wince from his words, because itâs the thing sheâs struggled with the most since last summerâthe survivorâs guilt. Her living and her mom dying. Her living and Billy dying. Her living and Jim Hopper dying. What did she do to deserve to live? What has she done to make her life so much more important than those who died in that disaster?
Why is she seeing these visions? Why is Max cursed and not just her? Why shouldnât something happen to her?
âNo,â Steve says immediately, shaking his head, as he watches the gears turn in Doveâs head. âYouâre not jumping in front of this to save her yourself. Weâre doing this together. Weâre helping her together. Weâre going to figure this outââ
âBut she doesnât deserve this.â
âAnd neither do you.â
âYou donât know that.â
Silence. Steve chews his bottom lip for a second, hands moving to his hips in frustration. It sucks cause he knows whatâs going on in her head. The guilt sheâs feeling. Sheâs told him about it before and no matter what he says, he knows it wonât stay in her brain that she does deserve to be here. Something is trained in her head subconsciously that does not let her believe that.
âI do know that.â
Dove huffs as well, her arms crossing across herself, slightly folding in on herself. âIf what happened upstairs with Robin is just a taste of what could happen, thenâthen I donât know what to do. If I hurt someone again, worse than I have, with no control over itââ her voice waivers againââ If it means I step and take the blow forââ
âWhoa, whoa, there will be no sacrificingââ
âSteveââ
âDove, no youâre not pulling this again. I didnât let you do it at the mallââ
âItâs not your decision on what I get to doââ
âIâm not trying to make decisions for you, Iâm trying to say you donât need to sacrifice yourselfââ
âLike you wouldnât do the same thing.â
Shit, sheâs got him there.
Steve sighs deeply, dropping his head forward and shaking it. Heâs trying to pull away from the hot headed feeling he has to snap cause he never wants to snap at Dove. He hates this part. Dove is so amazing in so many ways but this part where she refuses to believe she is worth something makes him crazy. But he will do anything to help her get away from that.
âWeâre going to figure this out, together, okay? Without anyone jumping in front of bullets, orâor throwing themselves in front of dark wizards or whatever. Donât try to be the hero here, please.â
Dove nods her head, muttering out âokayâ and wrapping her arms around Steveâs waist. She wants to believe the reassurance that he is giving her, she really does. But she knows if it comes down to it, the need for someone to step up and be the one, she wonât hesitate to do it.Â
About thirty minutes later, Steve and Dove have joined Lucas and Dustin in watching Max from the couch.
âI know you guys are staring at me,â Max says suddenly.
The four of them busy themselves with whatever is in front of them. Dove grabs some Vogue magazine thatâs probably Karenâs, Steve tosses a ball in the air, Dustin and Lucas go back to their handouts.
âWhat? No,â Dove scoffs, shaking her head.
âYou said you need something?â Lucas asks, trying to sound nonchalant but failing terribly.
âJust hanging out,â Steve says, tossing the rubber ball again.
Max huffs loudly as she collects all her letters. âHow you think your eyes boring into the back of my head is protecting me from Vecna, I donât know.â
She finally stands, walking over to her friends on the couch. Dove and Steve are pressed into each other in the middle, Steve practically laying his leg on top of hers. Lucas sits on the armrest, feet perched on the edge of Doveâs cushion. Dustinâs squished to Steveâs right. Theyâre pretending to be busy doing something until she plants herself in front of the coffee table.
Dove slowly lifts her eyes from the magazine, though her head doesnât follow. Steveâs still tossing the ballâit squeaks every time he catches it. No one looks at her, not wanting to catch the fire that can come from her mouth when people donât listen to her.
Thereâs a beat of silence that Dove hopes ends before something can slip in.
âYou can look at me now,â Max says finally.
âThank you,â Dustin says, relieved, as everyone else lets out a chorus of âsorrys.â
Max sighs, looking at all the envelopes in her hands before stepping forward and handing one out to Dustin. âThis is for you.â
Thereâs a letter to everyone, just as Dove suspected. She reluctantly takes hers.
âAnd give these to El and Will, if you can ever get ahold of them again,â Max adds, handing two more letters to Lucas. Thereâs a bitter tone in her voice when she says that.
Slowly, Steve and Dustin begin opening theirs. They arenât sealed, their names scrawled on the front. Steveâs name has a little more flair than Dustinâs does. Doveâs name is written nicely, a little flower drawn next to itâthe same flower Dove draws on the corner of Maxâs homework pages when she helps her. Dove watches and feels her heart start to race as she slips her finger into her envelope, grasping the page inside.
âWhoa, what are you doing?â Max stops the three of them. âNo, donât. Thatâs not for nowâplease donât open it now.â
The three of them stop, reclosing their letters and looking up at her, confused.
âIâm sorry, what is this?â Dustin asks, inspecting the brown envelope.
âItâs, um⊠itâs a fail-safe,â Max answers after a second. âFor after, you know, if things donâtââ
âMax,â Dove interrupts, shaking her head.
âWait, whoa, Max, things are gonna work out,â Lucas says, trying to reassure her.
âNo!â Max snaps, making the eyes of the four on the couch widen. âNo, I donât need you to reassure me right now and tell me itâs all gonna work out. Because people have been telling me that my entire life, and itâs almost never trueââ
âMax,â Dove repeats sadly, standing up and moving closer to her, but Max moves away from her touch.
âNo, no,â Max sniffles, but when Dove finally sets her hand on her shoulder, she leans into her more. âOf course this asshole curses me. Shouldâve seen that one coming.â
Dove wraps her arms around the redhead gently, allowing her to pull away whenever she wants. She doesnât fully return the hug, but she slinks into it for a second.
Max pulls away when her eyes go to the table next to her, finding Dustinâs walkie. She grabs the device, waving it as she looks at Dustin. âIf we go to East Hawkins, will this still reach Pennhurst?â
âOf course,â Dustin answers quickly with a nod.
âWhoa, why are we talking about East Hawkins?â Steve asks.
The room grows quiet. The final letter in Maxâs hand reading âBillyâ catches everyoneâs eyes. And as much as Steve would love to fulfill Maxâs dying wishes (though heâs trying to convince himself sheâs not going to die), heâs not taking herâor any of themâanywhere.
âNo, no, no!â
The protests are never heard as Max rushes up the stairs, everyone following while slipping on jackets. Max rushes out of the Wheelersâ front door, marching over to Steveâs burgundy car. The sun is shining bright today, whichâto anyone else experiencing this Spring Breakâwould be elating.
Steveâs eyes squint as he chases after Max. âSeriously, Iâm not joking, okay? Iâm not driving you anywhere.â
Dove jogs to catch up with Steve and Max as they continue up the long driveway, Dustin and Lucas following close behind.
âSteve, if you think Iâm going to spend what is likely the last day of my life in the armpit that is Mike Wheelerâs basement, then youâre out of your mind,â Max seethes, stomping up to the car.
âMax, come on, hold on a sec,â Dove says, her tone lightly pleading, though sheâs really not going to put up much of a fight for this. Whatâs staying in Mikeâs basement going to do? Vecna can easily grab her thereâor anywhereâfor all they know.
âListen, either take me where I need to go or youâre gonna have to tie me down, which is technically kidnapping of a minorâand if I live to see another day, Steve, I swear to God, I will prosecute,â Max continues to rant, finally reaching the Beemer and yanking on the locked rear driver-side door.
âOpen the door,â Max commands, eyeing Steve with more determination than he has ever seen on her face.
âUh, no,â Steve says, drawing out the âoâ and looking at Dove with one raised brow.
âI know a good lawyer,â Max states.
Dove snorts when Steveâs mouth opens but nothing comes out. Max usually gets what she wants with Steveâsheâs stayed with the two of them enough for that to happen. Max wants pizza with stuffed crust? She gets it. Max wants regular Cokes instead of New Coke? Steve keeps extra in the fridge. But those things have never impacted Maxâs safety, and Steve really doesnât like the idea of running around Hawkins with a creep who wants to kill her on the loose. Or is he in her mind? Heâs not really sure, but they donât know how to stop the curse, and he will not risk it.
But then Dove gives him this look, and they have one of their silent conversations. Eyes shift, facial muscles flex, and finally Steve concedes. He sighs, rolling his shoulders back and pulling his keys out of his pocket.
âHenderson, that super walkie of yours better reach Pennhurst,â Steve grumbles, unlocking his car and getting in.
Dove jogs around to the passenger seat, hand on the handle when suddenlyâshe feels it.
Itâs not like before, though, when she hears her name whispered in the distance or rattling around in her brain. Itâs outside of her, like someone is watching herâbut she knows itâs there. She can follow it, and so can Max.Â
Their eyes are trained on the same spot, both looking behind the car and at the window of one of the neighbors' houses. For a second, Dove sees the movement of something. It folds within itself in the shadows, like reality is bending. Sheâs unsure what Max sees, but before either of them can get lost in the curse, she stops it.
âMax, get in the car,â Dove says, her voice gentle but firm as she pulls the redheadâs attention away from the window and to her.
Once theyâre in, settled into their seats and buckled, Max speaks up.
âDid you hear it?â
Dove chews the inside of her cheek for a second before responding. âI-I donât know, I didnât hear anything, but I sawââ
âA grandfather clock?â she asks, leaning forward.
âNo, no, IâI donâtâIâm not sureââ Oh God, is the car getting smaller? Why is she so overwhelmed all of a sudden? Doveâs breathing picks up a bit. It catches in her throat.
âHey, hey, Dove,â Steve says gently, one of his hands leaving the wheel and coming to her knee. He squeezes once, rubs the areaâher black trousers feeling strange against her leg when he doesâand then squeezes again. It brings her back, not spiraling out like she has before.
Since the mall last summerâwell, really since that night after Matthew Lancasterâs partyâDove started having panic attacks when she got overwhelmed. It came out of nowhere for her, and most of the time she could calm herself down. But they werenât pretty. Steve had seen the ugliest of themâDove dry heaving and shaking when she became overwhelmed by a nightmare. The room feels like itâs closing in, itâs harder to breathe, and then comes the spotty vision.
Steve usually can bring her back with some frictionârubbing his hands up and down her back with some force, or squeezing her arms.
âSorry, sorry,â Dove whispers, looking over to Steve before darting her eyes back to Max.
âNo, no, itâs okayâsorry, I just assumedââ Max starts to apologize, but Dove cuts her off.
âNo, itâs okay, itâs just hard to explain,â Dove replies, green eyes softening.
âDove, are you okay?â Steve asks, looking over to her for a second before his eyes return to the road ahead.
âYeah, Iâm goodââ
âIâm sorry, Dove, but what do you mean you saw something?â Dustin asks, sitting forward from his position in the middle seat. His backpack is in his lap, hugging it to his chest, so heâs not leaning too far forward.
âAre⊠are you cursed also?â Lucas speaks quietly, not wanting to voice the fear he has now.
âIâm not really sure,â Dove answers honestly. âIâve been having these visions for the past couple of days, but theyâre like these repressed memories? Iâm not too sure.â
Steveâs eyes cut to the kids in the rearview mirror, catching all of their worried expressions.
âBut you guys donât need to worry about meâweâre going to figure out how to break this curse, and itâs going to be okay,â Dove says, a gentle smile forming on her lips to try and reassure them.
Putting on a brave faceâthatâs what sheâs good at. Even in times of despair.
When they reach Forest Hills Trailer Park, Steve warns Max to make it quick as she jumps out of the car, grumbling something about twenty seconds.
Steve then looks back to Dustin, who is sliding over to the other seat now that itâs open.
âThat thingâs got batteries in it, right?â Steve nods to the walkie clutched in Dustinâs hand.
Dustin is quiet for a moment, deadpanning at his older friend. âIâm not even answering that question.â
Steveâs eyes stay trained on Dustin, not believing him after what happened last summer.
âYes, it has batteries,â Dustin squeaks out after a second.
âYeah, I got it,â Steve rolls his eyes, looking to the front door of Maxâs trailer.
He hates her trailer. Heâs not sure why. Heâs only ever been in it once or twice. Maybe itâs the fact that everything he hears about it from her and Dove is awful. Max comes back from there with only stories of sadnessâher momâs drinking, her nightmares, her sorrows.
Maybe he hates it because it reminds him of his own house. Itâs gaining good memories now, since Dove has been in it, but growing up it was lonely, hollow. It echoed with the sounds of his father yelling about how much of a disappointment he thought he wasâhow he couldnât do the simple things he asked of him, how he had already disappointed him so much by age ten. Steve realized somewhere in high school he doesnât have many memories from before age nine. Something to do with a fall heâd taken, but⊠it didnât answer why his father felt the way he did about him.
Steve feels his hands grip the wheel tighter at the thoughts. The weight of the arrival of his parents starting to press in again. Heâd been so distracted (reasonably so) by the goings-on of the Upside Down and Max and Dove that he forgot heâs supposed to be moving soon. Heâd taken three days off this week to start the process.
But then that doesnât matter, because itâs been eight minutes since Max went inside, and she said she was just going to drop some letters and grab a different pair of jeans. In and out.
Steve steps out of the car, keeping one foot in as he tries to look through the window by the front door.
âSteve?â Dove asks, following his movements. Dustin and Lucas do the same.
âSheâs taking too long,â Steve says finally, his tone agitated, looking over to Dove.
âSheâs okay, Steve, probably decided to grab one or two more things, letâs try not to hovââ Dove cuts herself off as she feels it again, like she had when standing outside the car barely even thirty minutes ago.
âDove? Dove, hey, what is it?â Steve says, a little frantic as he watches his girlfriend stand at attention, eyes trained on the corner of the house.
Thereâshe sees it againâa shadow looming, and then reality bending. Itâs almost like a tear, or a door. She could enter it.
âSomethingâs wrong,â Dove says, monotone, taking one step forward toward the tear.
âWhatâs wrong?â Steve asks, but he watches as Doveâs eyes go from present and focused to glazing over.
Dove steps forward, but her body stays where it is. Sheâs entered her mind now, walking toward the tear.
âDove? Dove, hey, baby, donât do thatâcome back,â Steve says, rushing from the driverâs side door over to her. He reaches up, cupping her cheeks gently, and she blinks, eyes returning to normalâthe brilliant green, like looking up at tree leaves on a spring day.
Max then appears from around the corner, stomping toward the car.
âThat was longer than twenty seconds,â Steve complains, dropping Doveâs face from his hands to follow the short distance after Max.
Maxâs face is flushed, her breaths coming out uneven and her eyes glossy.
âHey, whoa, whoaâare you alright?â Steve asks, reaching out for her, but she jerks away, yanking open the door.
âIâm fine, just drive,â Max snaps, slamming the door once sheâs in the seat.
Dove hesitates outside the car, looking back to the corner of the house and watching the tear flicker with red.
My grammar might not always be correct and some things might not make sense in my fics because of my brain but at least itâs not AI and I love what Iâm doing
Canon in the Savior Complex Universe, these drabbles are little parts of Steve Harrington and Dove Jonesâ story that didnât quite fit into the narrative of the main storyline. Think of them as fanfics for the fanfic, but canon!
Summary: A normal day during Steve and Doves seniors year that leaves Steve realizing heâs even more of a hypocrite for teaching Dustin to âact like you donât care when it comes to girlsâ cause all he does is care.
Warnings: mentions of past injuries, self deprecation, uhh if I missed anything let me know!
Authors note: I have terrible maladaptive daydreaming tendencies so I started writing savior complex to aid that, now Iâve built this whole world and am writing fanfics for the fanfic. What have I become? Also this is a treat for those of you who love Steve and dove before I torture them, Iâm sorry. Kinda proofread but not great. These will also be in not particular order of release but will always start with the date so you know where in the story they take place, like this one happens before the graduation party :)
February 19th, 1985
Steve hates math. He hates it with a passion. He doesnât want to understand it or try to understand it because he has never enjoyed it. Out of all the STEM classes he prefers science. Which is odd since it involves math sometimes but at least it serves a purpose then. He doesnât even like physics anyway. The only good thing about his senior year math class is that itâs right before his study hall.
So sometimes, if heâs lucky and Mr. Martin isnât paying attention, which he rarely is if he isnât teaching (cause this class is really for the kids who didnât excel in math but needed another one to graduate), he will sneak out and find Dove in the library.
Dove Jones, the lucky duck she is, gets back to back study halls on Tuesdays and Thursdays because she gets to take a college level history class. A professor from Ball State comes three days a week to teach a course to a select group of students.
Lucky, Steve thinks. And smart. Because sheâs so smart, like genuinely. Sheâs got weird knowledge just locked in her brain and sheâs weirdly good at trivia. And cards, sheâs really good at cards which doesnât make sense cause most of them are just luck based. Heâs lost many games of Rumi to her by now.
Dove and Steve have found themselves spending most of their time together in the weeks since he came over to her house and they built a snowman. It was crazy how fast they got close but neither of them seemed to mind it. The shared trauma really helped.
They also had been spending more time together since Doveâs so-called âbest friendâ had been ignoring her since last Friday. Dove didnât know why and she didnât really talk about it with Steve butâŠhe had his suspicions.
While they both carried a reputation around Hawkins High, ones that caused looming shadows behind them for different reasons, Doveâs didnât cause her to lose friends. Sure, people whispered how they thought she was crazy (or even âboy crazyâ) but no one felt the need to stop hanging out with someone if they befriended her. Now Steve on the other hand, knew how much of a jerk heâd been in the past.
He doesnât know why he felt the need to be such an asshole from fifteen to seventeen. Maybe it was Tommy Haganâs influence and how badly Steve wanted the freckled boyâs approval.
But in November 1983, Steve knew he needed to change. He finally felt like he changed in November 1984. After having his heart ripped out of his chest and stomped on by Nancy and then telling her to go off with the guy she probably cheated on him with (emotionally and maybe physically but Steveâs not sure on the physical part).Then he officially met Dustin Henderson and suddenly felt like he had a purpose, because for some reason being a âbabysitterâ was better than being the âwashed-up asshole who peaked in high school.â And then he had the shit beat out of him by an abusive older brother and ex-boyfriend (?) of his new friends.
Deep down, Steve knew he wasnât an asshole.He always loved fairytales as a kid and the whole knight in shining armor thing. He could vaguely remember himself imagining him saving the girl or being the hero of a story. Maybe thatâs why the change came so easy, cause itâs who he truly was really.
He really felt like heâd changed when Dove Jones risked her life for him and then stayed and helped him. And that was after she almost died because Billy tried to strangle her.
Steve still wishes he never gained that memory of seeing Billy on top of her. Itâs haunted his sleep once a week since it came to him. It happened more back when the bruises were still peeking out from beneath the turtlenecks she wore.
So, Steve finds a new version of himself at eighteen. One who doesnât act like an asshole tormenting people in the hallway or in class. He likes to take a group of kids to the arcade with dick-biting Dove and meet up with her in the library, where he finds himself walking into now.
Sheâs sat in her normal spot. A table towards the middle but not the direct center. She has two text books open in front of her, her jean jacket draped on the back of her chair and sheâs wearing a black t-shirt. Thatâs unusual for her, colors normally are her thing.
Not that Steve notices those things, cause why would he? I mean, yeah sure, heâs got a crush on Dove and finds her insanely attractive but why would he care that sheâs not wearing a color today. Itâs not that importantâŠdid she do something different with her hair today?
âCome on, Harrington,â Steve mutters to himself, adjusting the strap on his backpack on his shoulder.
When he goes to walk down the stairs of the library, he finds himself stopping when someone approaches Doveâs table.
But unfortunately, itâs not just anyone.
âWhat do you want, Billy?â Dove grumbles, not taking her attention off her notebook as she finishes writing the sentence down.
âJust checkinâ in with you, making sure Pretty Boy Harrington is treating you well since he decided to play Knight in Shining armor. Howâs that head of his healing? Or his head in general, I should ask?â
Dove rolls her eyes, not bothering to give it the attention she knows he wants from it. âI donât know what youâve heard, Billy, but Steve and I are just friends. So I have no idea how his head is, but if youâre so curious, maybe you should ask him?â
Billy chuckles, a hefty, dark chuckle that would make Dove shudder if she wasnât so over him. Heâs been âchecking inâ on her every couple weeks since Christmas break. For what reason? Dove wishes she knew but sheâs able to get him away after ignoring him for a few minutes.
Dove now wonders what she ever found so attractive about him at the beginning of the year. Sure, physically heâs got it all but past that? God itâs like sheâd rather date one of those lizard dogs.
Billy lingers at her table, the smell of the cigarette he went outside to smoke sticks to his jacket. Dove hates the way that she wants to shiver and recoil in fear when Billy leans closer to her table, but she stays firmly planted in her seat, acting unafraid. How she always does.
Steve watches from the stairs, hand gripping the strap of his backpack tightly as he watches the interaction. He shouldnât admit how Billy scares him, heâs supposed to be brave and tough and the king. He doesnât feel like much of a king anymore though. Basketball has come to an end, their season ending in the first round of the playoffs. And swim seasons coming up for Steve is finding less and less of a reason to participate this year.
Tommy and Carol had started drifting after he ditched them for Nancy last year, which was honestly a blessing in disguise. He probably wouldâve gone crawling back to them after his breakup with Nancy if it wasnât for Dustin. Or Dove. Or any of those kids.
Billyâs still by Dove and Steve can feel the irritation from where he stood. The spot he still hasnât moved from. He should probably move. Just go and sit next to Dove and act like Billy isnât there. Although, that probably wouldnât go over well.
âExcuse me,â a voice from behind him says, making him move to the side as he mutters sorry but his voice gets caught in his throat.
âNance, hey,â Steve says when she looks up at him.
âOh, Steve, hi,â Nancy says, tucking hair behind her ear and looking around the library awkwardly. âUh, what are you doing here? I thought your study hall was next period?â
âOh, uh, yeah, but I have Mr. Martin for math this period and he doesnât really teach us most days so I normally just come in here andâŠâ He drifts off as he gestures to the library.
The pause is so painfully awkward. Steve wishes he'd just walk away but his feet are glued to the spot because Billy is still standing by Doveâs table, saying something heâs sure is between a flirt and a threat but it shouldnât go farther than that butâŠhe should help her, right? Yet, he stays rooted to the floor. Stuck. His Nikeâs feel like theyâve been glued down.
âRight,â Nancy says, her lip twitching slightly as she looks at Steve.
âYeah, yeah, you know justâŠuhâŠstudying and stuffâŠâ
Just stop talking, Harrington, seriously.
âHowâs-How are you and Byers? Everything good?â
Oh my God Steve, did you seriously just ask that?
Nancyâs brows raise in surprise at the question, âYe-Yeah, everything's good, thanks for uh asking.â
Steve nods and mutters âcoolâ. His cheeks feel hot and he seriously wishes he can move from the spot. Just try, you dumbass.
âAnd you and Dove? How are you guys?â
Steveâs eyebrows shoot up in surprise now, âDove? Oh, uh, no, no, weâre just friends, weâre not- I mean, sheâs great but, uh, no, no weâre just friends. Good friends.â
Nancyâs lip turns up again slightly at the ramble and she fights the urge to roll her eyes. âRight.â
Their eyes lock for a second and that fluttering feeling Steve always found himself having when he looks at her, the one he expects to feel when her eyes bore into his, never comes. He feels normal. Heâs happy to see her, but the ache that he felt, the butterflies, all those feelings are gone.
And thatâs weird for him. Truly very weird. Because he thought heâd never get over Nancy. And maybe in his own weird way he wonât, seeing as he finds himself at her house a lot, just hanging with her younger brother instead.
âWell, uh, good to see ya, I guess Iâll see you sometime this weekend when I drop Mike off,â Steve says, stepping down the stairs and past Nancy.
âRight, yeah, uh see you, I guess.â
The butterflies Steve expected to feel around Nancy finally erupt when Doveâs green eyes meet his, a bright smile pulling at her lips. The black T-shirt sheâs wearing is tucked into a nice pair of red corduroy pants. Oh. Thatâs why sheâs wearing black.
Not that he cares. Or should he, cause like he said theyâre just friends. Friends that sleep in the same bed and fall asleep on each other at movie nights and only hang out with each other. Sheâs just a friend who he thinks about constantly and keeps extra Cherry Cokes at his house for.
Whatever. Itâs stupid. She just sees him as a friend. Letâs try not to fuck up this relationship, okay Steve?
âHey, Pretty Boy,â Dove smiles.
âHey, Wonder Women,â Steve says, sitting down next to her.
