Elamchan

[milyeemyoon]

241107 ATVNCG Mùa hè 2024

(tại Úc) năm 30 tuổi, tôi đã không còn chạy trốn nhạc Việt nữa

U23 ở Thường Châu tuyết trắng năm đó, đội tuyển Nhật Bản mà tôi xem trong World Cup năm nào, hay các đội trong anime Haikyuu!! và 33 người trong ATVNCG năm nay - Tất cả họ có một điểm chung là khiến tôi cảm nhận được tình yêu thương, sự gắn kết tràn qua màn hình, dù tôi chỉ là một người qua đường nhìn vào.

Bao nhiêu năm nay vẫn chạy trốn nhạc Việt vì ngại nghe những điều sến súa trần trụi bằng tiếng mẹ đẻ, gu âm nhạc chạy đông chạy tây nghe từ Mỹ đến Âu quành về Nhật, Hàn, Trung, Đài và cả Thái lẻn, dễ dãi chấp nhận tất cả các nền văn minh nhưng tuyệt đối tránh nhạc Việt, chỉ thỉnh thoảng nghe một cách thụ động, chứ không bao giờ chịu chủ động theo dõi. Vậy mà nhờ con beat đàn bầu cực cháy của anh Soobin (dù là fan 9M nhưng Trống Cơm mãi là bạch nguyệt quang trong lòng toyy!) , hay sau đó là bé Kây tóc cam tai mèo (hồi đó còn không biết bạn là ai 🥲 chỉ biết nhìn qua là thấy bạn này rất tiềm năng rất sáng sân khấu) và clip 9M tự nấu xói nhau và người khác ?! mà tò mò lần đầu tiên muốn tìm xem. Cũng phải đợi đến qua concert, chiếu hết chung kết mới xem vì chs tính dở hơi hl sợ những gì quá hot 🥲, và bận học đến lúc stress nhất cần chạy deadline thì mở ra xem (ủa ?!), và vì cái tên chương trình hơi sến (thực ra đến giờ vẫn thấy vậy nên mình hay viết tắt 🙃).

Trong 33 người chắc những người tôi biết chỉ gần được một nửa (nhưng mà buồn cười tôi còn biết Nguyễn Trần Duy Nhất là ai nhưng hồi mới xem tôi không biết first pick Rhymastic hay bias Tăng Phúc của tôi là ai lol). Có những người tôi tưởng chỉ ở đó để tăng độ hot (xin lỗi thái tử em biết lỗi rồi 🥲🥹) hay chỉ để cho đủ đội hình/ tiêu chí đa ngành nghề của chương trình (xin lỗi chú Soobin Hồng Sơn và anh Cường Nhất 🥲), nhưng mà rất lạ kì là 33 tiết mục solo hay các tiết mục nhóm đều hay. Có những bài gợi lại kí ức xưa thật là xưa như là hồi không có internet chỉ có cái TV to đùng nặng chịch như Sóng Tình, hay khi anh Đăng Khôi (ông cố nội visual là có thật!), anh Phan Đinh Tùng cất giọng, hay cả Chiếc khăn gió ấm, Đôi mắt (& anh Thiên Minh chính là cái anh đẹp trai trên bìa HHT ngày xưa vẫn toy vẫn đạp xe đi mua ở ngã sáu thứ 2 hàng tuần á á). Cũng có những bài chưa nghe bao giờ mà cứ bị cuốn vào như Giá như của Soobin và Lặng của anh Thiện âm thanh. Tôi đã xem một chương trình hơn 2 tiếng không tua lúc nào không hay 🥲 - điều chắc tôi từng làm cỡ hơn 10 năm trước khi xem Family Outing, Running man hay 5 năm trước xem Run BTS hồi mới làm fan.

Tôi không nghĩ theo dõi mấy người đàn ông tuổi từ 30 trở lên cùng lập nhóm lập nhà, tập luyện, biểu diễn rồi lại giỡn chơi rồi lại tách nhóm và khóc hết nước mắt khi anh em mình ra về lại cuốn và cho tôi đủ cảm xúc hỷ nộ ái ố đến vậy. Sự sáng tạo nghệ thuật không ngừng, sự nhiệt huyết từ rất cả các anh, ekip, các bên hỗ trợ, các bạn khán giả trường quay (dù nhiều lúc nhìn kq các bạn vote tôi muốn hỏi wtf why? - như kết quả bầu cử tổng thống Mỹ năm nay vậy 🫠🙂🙃) và trên hết là sự đoàn kết thương yêu nhau dù là qua lời nói nhẹ nhàng điềm tĩnh của anh Đạt, lời 'quát mắng' của chú Tự Long, lời TTB cùng drama tự tạo của 9M cùng bé Thu, dì Lệ hay sự cho phép người khác bắt nạt mình của bạn Nui tôi 🫠🫠. Đàn ông quả là những đứa trẻ không bao giờ lớn và chương trình này đã khẳng định cho tôi điều đó, ngay từ tập 1 cho đến những tập cuối (ủa anh Ram em đã tưởng anh là người đàn ông trưởng thành của gia đình cho đến khi anh nhảy lên hơn thua với bạn Nui 😲😳 dù trăm hạt mưa không hạt nào rơi nhầm chỗ là có thật, tôi đồng ý bạn Nam ạ :)). Tôi cũng không nghĩ là những người đàn ông trưởng thành mạnh mẽ tiến lên họ vẫn chơi trò gia đình như con gái chúng tôi, đến mức tôi thực sự tin chị Vân Hạnh phake đã mang nặng đẻ đau ra bé Cây và Đa Đa là ba bé Nui thặc. Hay tôi không nghĩ đàn ông thẳng (hoặc không :-)) họ lại thích tự ship nhau và tự gắn mô tơ cho couple như này, tôi tưởng việc đó là việc của fan chúng tôi :-?! (Vâng bạn đấy chủ tiệm Nui ạ 🫵🫵, tôi đã suýt đổ :)) Hay idul còn lên thờ rét và chỉ fan cách tham khảo viết fic, ôi quả thật đúng là cùng trang lứa, lứa 9x đời dầu, tôi thấy thật gần gũi :)). Có những thứ khi đu idol quốc tế chúng tôi phải đổi bằng tiền nếu không thì là rất nhiều tiền cũng chưa chắc có được như là màn hát live đỉnh cao, như là fan service nhiệt tình (dù tôi không ở đó 🥲), hay nhắn, live mxh thường xuyên (và tôi không phải dùng google dịch!) quả thật không quen, nhưng mà cũng rất thích 🥲.

Trước khi xem chương trình, hoặc tôi không có hảo cảm với mấy ai trong dàn cast mà tôi biết (lại một lần nữa quỳ dập xin lỗi OTL) hoặc tôi mù luôn không biết ai với ai. Đến bây giờ sau khi đã xem hết và vẫn sụt sịt chảy nước mắt khi nghe lại những bài trong tập cuối, chương trình này đã giúp tôi hiểu thêm rất nhiều về những con người đó, nền âm nhạc này, những con người, những ekip tôi từng có định kiến, thấy trân trọng văn hóa dân tộc hơn, trân trọng và yêu thích nhạc Việt hơn, thấy nhạc Việt và các nghệ sĩ Việt đã 'chín muồi' hơn, và cảm thấy mình cũng có thể sĩ chút là Việt Nam mình cũng rất phát triển trong mọi khâu tổ chức rồi. Ủa hóa ra nhạc Việt cũng có rất nhiều người giỏi mà trước giờ họ cứ trốn đi đâu mà tôi không biết. Có mấy tuần xem thôi mà mở mang ra thật nhiều, cũng được vỗ về an ủi tâm hồn bằng những điều tích cực rất nhiều, và cũng làm tôi tiếc thật nhiều vì giờ này không ở VN để đu idol quốc nội cùng các chị em 🥲 hay tiếc vcc vì tháng 12 về đúng sau cc ở HN 1 tuần, nhà ở OP2 ngay mé mương không lo đi quẩy về muộn mà không còn có cả tư cách để thứ 3 tuần sau tranh vé 🙂.

Quả là một 'trại hè âm nhạc' trong mơ của các anh, mong là bước đệm lịch sử này có thể mang tôi đến gần hơn với nhạc Việt, để thật sự là một người chủ động nghe thường xuyên chứ không phải là một người qua đường nghe thụ động nữa. Mong sau chương trình các anh sẽ có một chỗ đứng dài lâu trong lòng người hâm mộ, xin đừng chỉ là một hiện tượng thoáng quá. Đừng như tuyết trắng Thường Châu năm đó, dù rất đẹp nhưng qua mùa lại tan và sau mấy năm thì chẳng còn dấu vết.

Ngồi máy bay hơn 10 tiếng bay trưa không ngủ được, máy tính không có một bộ phim cuốn fic nào ngoài learning materials chả có gì ngoài 48 bài journals (mới thao khảo làm luận xong chả lẽ mang ra đọc :-?) Thì làm gì? Thì là như vậy đó, viết cảm nghĩ về một chương trình Việt Nam đầu tiên tôi chủ động xem và yêu thích và đến giờ vẫn lâng lâng chưa dứt ra được ㅠㅠ

Ảnh nhặt được của bé Hải Ly và một bạn trên tumblr chứ có được ở VN đâu mà tự chụp miếng nào :"(

[emziess]

First shot versus last shot Edvin Ryding, Young Royals

[intergalacticmca]

One thing that’s really rubbing me the wrong way about some people’s reaction to the ending is the way people are talking about Wille. I see comments that essentially imply he is nothing without his privilege backing him, that he has no personality outside of his relationship with Simon and he’s gonna be in for a rude awakening after the ending when he realizes the attention on him isn’t gone just because he’s giving up the title of Crown Prince and life as a normal person isn’t going to be an easy or smooth road.

To me it seems like the message has completely gone over some people’s heads.

No part of me felt while watching the ending that everything is now resolved and Wille will live happily ever after without any adversity ever again… No?

The point is he finally has a choice where he ends up.

Wille literally explains this to the Queen in the final scene - that he’s never felt like he’s had a choice. He didn’t choose to be born into the royal family, and as he points out to his mother, neither did she. The public didn’t choose who inherits the crown. None of them chose it. Wille wants a choice. By staying in this role and doing what is expected of him simply because it’s his birthright is exactly what Wille is actively fighting against.

Another common thread I’ve seen thrown around is that Wille has no personality outside of Simon and I think people need to realize that one’s hobbies and interests do not define their personality. Wille very much has a personality and he had one before he met Simon - he’s always been the type to question the status quo and why things are the way they are. In season 1 episode 1, before Wille meets Simon, we see Wille scoffing at being made to mingle and pose for photos with people he doesn’t know and we see him telling Henry and Walter they’re allowed to have their own opinions when they mindlessly agree with everything he says. If anything, he starts losing this side of his personality because of the restrictions the crown puts on him. Wille falling in line with his expectations throughout the series takes him further away from this side of himself that’s always been there. We see how detrimental this is not just to his relationship with Simon, but with Wille’s relationship with himself. How exactly is Wille supposed to find what he’s passionate about when he’s consistently being told that these are the things he should care about, this is how he needs to look to the public? This is all a very intentional narrative choice to demonstrate why Wille staying in his role is detrimental to his mental health and his ability to grow personally.

The ending is not saying “everything is fixed now and Wille will have a totally adversity-free life with Simon.” Nothing is fixed and nothing is certain, but at least he made a choice. He’s going to stumble and he’s going to continue to make mistakes and a life path is not going to construct itself for him, but at least he now has a choice. He doesn’t have to pick a hobby or interest that’s considered suitable for him. He can get tattoos if he wants to. He can get married or not get married. He can have kids or not have kids. He can go to university and study whatever he wants, and yes, he will still have his family’s money. He’s not gonna be destitute and that is indeed a privilege that Wille is aware of. Should he stay in a role he doesn’t want simply and that makes him miserable because he’s privileged? For all we know, maybe his family will cut him off and he’ll literally be on his own, and that’s a risk he’s willing to take to be, in his mind, free.

The public is not suddenly going to lose interest in him, but at least he won’t have to concern himself with the royal court dictating how he and Simon act or appear. He will no longer feel like he needs to control how Simon conducts his social media presence. It’s very clear in s3 that Wille is not personally upset with Simon for posting the song or the picture with the little boy at the worker’s March - he smiles when he sees it - but that he’s worried what the royal court is going to think about it.

As far as the idea that Wille giving up the crown at the end was indeed for Simon because Wille has no identity without Simon, I really don’t think this is fair to say at all, because Wille was unhappy with his position even before he met Simon. He hated that he couldn’t even do something silly and reckless without issuing an apology. He hated that he had to uproot his entire life because he made a mistake and his family was trying to save his image in the eyes of the public. The thing is, before he met Simon, and before the events of the series, Wille didn’t feel like he had a way out, and funnily enough, that’s for the exact same reason people are dunking on him for now - because it’s the only way of life he knew. He didn’t see a way out and it’s through being with Simon that his extremely narrow view of the world gets challenged and he’s finally able to see a way out. Did Simon inspire him to do what he did? Of course he did. This entire concept is materialized through the scene where Simon tells Wille that he never had a choice who he was born as and that he sees how the monarchy makes him feel. To say that Wille gave it up for Simon implies, to me, that Wille would’ve been happy in the role if not for Simon, which I don’t believe is true. He’d still be miserable but perhaps feel less like he has the agency to do things about it. Getting to be with Simon at the end is certainly a big part of why he did it, but that also just kinda goes hand in hand with his own personal freedom, doesn’t it?

I find it kinda funny how much the internet preaches that it’s never too late to figure out who you are or what you wanna do and I see people acting like Wille is somehow doomed because he’s a 17-year-old without any interests or hobbies. Wille’s entire struggle is with having his life completely mapped out for him and it’s like with him giving up his role people are now questioning the fact that he doesn’t have an entire life mapped out for himself. I spent my time when I was 17 blogging on tumblr and doing nothing else and didn’t go to college until I was 24. I’m 29 now and I’m still learning what I’m passionate about. To treat Wille’s lack of hobbies or interests as some kind of moral failure or indicative of a lack of personality really, really bothers me and to me his lack of interests and hobbies has always been a very intentional writing choice, and the ending, if anything, gives him all the time in the world to figure that out. He might even develop an interest and then realize it’s not for him! The amount of people I know that went to college for what they thought they wanted to do then dropped out because they changed their mind, or graduated from school, couldn’t find a job, and then went back to school for something else is endless. This is all part of the human experience and it’s going to be an entirely new journey for him, but that part of his journey did not a part of this particular story, and in that way, the ending is open. It also helps that regardless of Wille’s wealth and privilege, education in Sweden is FREE.

In the end, the message of the ending is exactly what Boris said to Wille in season 2: we can’t choose who we are born as, but we can choose how we want to live, and that’s exactly what the ending is saying, and that’s what Edvin meant when he said the ending is open. Wille’s road is not suddenly going to be perfect and easy, but at least all of his choices, including his mistakes and struggles, can be entirely his own.

[youngroyalscentral]

YOUNG ROYALS (2021—2024)

[alistairlowe]

YOUNG ROYALS (2021-2024) - FINAL SCENE

[milyeemyoon]

231230 - In my twenties, I thought

"난 내가 스물이 되면 빛나는 태양과 같이

찬란하게 타오르는 줄 알았고

난 나의 젊은 날은 뜨거운 여름과 같이

눈부시게 아름다울 줄 알았어.

When I turned twenty, I thought

I would be like the sun Brilliantly rising up

I thought my youth would be like the hot summer

Dazzling and beautiful"

자우림 이카루스

Strangely lyrics of the k-indie song that I loved & played on repeat as a 19 years old echoed back and mirrored the exact thoughts I've had during last 10 years. With all of my insecurities thinking that "everybody is a sexy baby and I am a monster on the hill", I still blindly ran with a beautiful and Icarus belief that one day, I would brilliantly rising up. I dreamt and I want to be like the ones that I have idolized on my way growing up. "I have the ability to do it" - I firmly trust so.

"Little secrets that no one would tell me

No matter how hard I try, nothing changes."

Now in the last days of my twenties that I'm trying to cling on, although I over-achieved my annual main goals, regardless of how much I tried to be lofty and break a smile for my peers' n juniors' achievements, I again felt those ugly enviness & insecurities eating up inside me. Even if I strongly run, the only thing I see sometimes that I am way behind in this race, that would I ever do it? Would I ever be someone whose thoughts can be independent of the life standard normality? If you ask me "how are you?", I would say that I am normal, and I'm not fond of it. C'est ennuyeux d'être normal, I want to live up to that spirit. My world nowadays is covered in a gray lense, not that dark, but not that dazzling vivid colorful world that I once felt in my early twenties. I want to feel that colorful rainbow world once again.

But "If no one moves and just stays still

While blankly sitting down, nothing will change"

To the me who is still clinging to being 29.5 years old but also is someone really becoming the same age as the ones you respect, let's again, be strong and run. Like you once told yourself in your fresh days, work smart but still work hard. Don't give up regardless of how hard it could be next year, as you had given up enough for this. You have been through it, this too shall pass, this too will lead to something. Prepare until you can say you have prepared enough for it. One more thing, although I thought I have given up on the thought of being a grasshopper, but still let's live a brilliant life where people can bid farewell with a smile when I fly to the sky one day.

자, 힘차게 날개를 펴고 날아 보자,

하늘 끝까지, 태양 끝까지.

All the insecurities besides, nearly a year away from beloved Asia without families & close friends, "families" (우리 오빠들, 내 동갑 친구들, 내 동생들, my Thai lil kids) and our cats has drained me emotionally but given me back with bot friends like Bleue, Aurachan and a number 7 :)

You still got a lot to go but anyways 잘했어요, 수고했어요.

[milyeemyoon]

230110 - The Interlude at H7832

You cannot start a new chapter before closing an old one. So here I am, after soo many procrastination ;_; , using my broken english talking about my interlude at H7832 - a place seems like that but it is not like that at all . Called it an 'interlude' cause it was only 9 months - too short to say another chapter but long enough to see my mental self growing enormously (or to grow a baby as I always joke :))

"Never judge the book by its cover" - again I learnt it well. If you think H7832 is a premium-brand boutique city hotel of 107 keys, 4 room categories & 3 outlets at the heart of Hanoi, you only saw half of the coin 🙃🫠 It's less and more than that. Yet whichever side it brought, the place gave me the title that I trust I am longly qualified for, officially & little 'ducklings' who follows my lead, officially. As much as I enjoyed being a little duckling follow others' lead years ago, training, coaching, leading by example, giving lil juniors the guidance & necessities to complete their jobs was equally joyful. You reap what you sow, this time I don't wish to leave a legacy or be part of a legacy, just hope that what i left could linger here and there, giving ppl little smile while they think about it, just like osthamus fragrans in 우리 garden, just like everytime I think about H7832.

Định trốn sau thứ ngôn ngữ tiếng anh chắp vá để thấy bớt sến sẩm mà càng lớn càng thấy không gì thể hiện được rõ suy nghĩ của mình như tiếng mẹ đẻ, dù cũng không văn hay chữ tốt gì cho cam. Nên xin là xin viết nắn nót ở đây nhé:

Trước khi sắp bước sang một chương nữa của cuộc đời, mình nên chào tạm biệt một phần 'chuyển diệu' mà mình tự cảm thấy cũng rất quan trọng với bản thân (sau rất nhiều sự lười biếng trong viết lách). Vì chỉ là 9 tháng thôi nên xin gọi là 'bước chuyển diệu' - hơi ngắn để gọi là một chương mà đủ dài để nhận thấy được sự trưởng thành thêm trong suy nghĩ của mình (hay mình hay đùa là thiếu 10 ngày nữa là người ta đẻ được em bé rồi :))

"Đừng bao giờ đánh giá thứ gì qua vẻ bề ngoài" - vẫn là câu đó, cấm có sai. H7832 có thể đúng là 1 khách sạn premium brand, boutique với 107 phòng, 3 nhà hàng tại trung tâm Hà Nội. Trông hẳn vậy mà còn nhiều hơn vậy. Đây chính là nơi mình đã đạt được vị trí mình hằng tin tưởng mình xứng đáng từ lâu, một cách chính thức và có một đàn 'vịt con' nghe theo lời chỉ bảo của mình, một cách chính thức. Cái cảm giác có một đàn 'vịt nhỏ' để dạy dỗ, bảo ban, làm gương, hỗ trợ hết sức có thể - nó cũng vui rần rần như cái hồi mình còn là một con vịt con mới mở mắt ra trong ngành này và lúi cúi đi theo các sếp vậy. Thời gian ngắn quá nên như gió thoảng qua, cũng không nghĩ sẽ lưu lại được nhiều, chỉ mong những gì mình để lại sẽ thoang thoảng đâu đây, mang đến nụ cười dễ chịu mỗi khi nhớ đến, như hương hoa mộc trong vườn, như H7832 đối với mình.

[purplewilmon]

These kisses are I miss yous without words.

[milyeemyoon]

220926 서른 살, 나?

It's a privilege sometimes to be a multilingual person (or just brokenly multilingual in fact). So that when this type of age approach, it felt less scary to write it down in a non-latin language. Or not? Still it's scary, I admit. Btw, procrastination has reached to the top as I am days in my new age and I haven't published this yet 🥲 So this is it, my summary of what happenned during the last 1 year.

In the year of 2022, I've achieved all the things I wished to achieve in 2020 & 2021 combined. I stepped a step up - the step that I've always wanted since 2019, I applied for further study (otw, in fact) , I travel the world again to meet my small and big loves, and I moved on, leaving a very-emotionally-attached past behind. The winter flower (or persimmon flower?!) has finally slightly bloomed. This year witnessed turning chapters of 일구구사 not-so-anymore kids like my 방탄 친구들, 羽生结弦 さん, my 94s line friends and me, myself - who all closed our familiar safe zones and on the edge of entering the hazy future, or hazy to me, at least. We - the ones who are reaching 30s, are still finding ourselves but I'm proud that I've achieved something. It could be not that perfect, like I've always wanted: like not the hotel brand that I've aim for, not the IELTS brand that I tried to re-achieve, possibly not meeting 방탄이 친구들 this year I guess (if I don't want to rip my wallet in half, spending the last of my already-less-than-zero pennies), not the country I actually want to live in and the school I actually want to study in. And still fucking single. But it's fine. Like Yuzuru san in Beijing 2022 with his relentless and (sometimes I even felt stubborn) trials in 4A, although he did and has not achieved it so far, but at least he tried all his will, made progress and not ashamed with his old self. At least I've tried my best given the circumstances.

To me who is reaching 30s soon, save something for your own shelf, don't go around spreading 'financial love' too much, they are going to be fine without you. If you are not fine then find someone to be fine. I hope you are steady and be excellent in what you chose. Treat it well and it will treat you well back. Plus, since you got called 'chị' more than 'em' & look like your mom more than you lil sister now, let's be a cool trustable 'chị' then (& lose some weight pls, hóp bụng vào thẳng lưng lên!!).

Since I told my lil kid that 23 wouldn't be that scary, let's make this nearly 삼십 대 less scary. It's alright, you can do it 😬

[finnicknot]

Things that Young Royals did better than any other tv show - spoilers -

• the teenagers look like actual teenagers not like 26 year old photoshopped models

• the popular girl at school is not the skinny white manipulative mean girl

• an appropriate amount ox realistic sex scenes

• felice and saras friendship is genuine. every other show would've made felice set sara up and humiliate her in front of the whole school but felice really wanted to include sara and wanted her to feel welcome

• the characters actually talk to each other and don't throw a tantrum when someone makes a mistake. they give each other a second chance (wilhelm and simon) (felice and sara)

• actual representation of how being a royal is not a dream at all

• no shock moment that seperates the protagonists... simon and wilhelm go through this together. they talk, they communicate, they listen to each other and share their honest thoughts, damn that was so healthy

At first you would assume this show is just another Gossip Girl or Élite but this is just so real. No toxic Chuck Bass, no manipulative Blair Waldorf, no unrealistic soft p*rn threesomes that do nothing for the plot. No teenagers wearing their sexy ripped school uniform covered in gucci and chanel jewelry

I am glad teenagers nowdays get this kind of representation of actual life, still covered in a fictional world that is interesting to watch.

[milyeemyoon]

What stopped me last year from catching up with this show when it was just out is all of the above prejudices, which all turned out to be contrastly wrong. Thank God, I am happy for kids of these days having such a healthy realist representation. 🏳️‍🌈

[everythiingoes]

anyone wants to hug me from the back and kiss my neck as i stumble over my words?

[vvitcherys]

Say what you will about adults watching shows for teens but so many of us are watching because we didn’t get to grow up with this great LGBTQ representation the shows bring us. Honestly, I just wanna see LGBTQ youth feeling happy and safe because as a teen I was not happy and people would whisper “gay” like a bad word more often than not.

[maclexa]

everything is fake. everything in the world is fake. the grass on the football field isn't even grass...it's plastic [...] all the people are fake. they're made of material. but I like you...and that's not fake

[milyeemyoon]

Xin cảm ơn đời mỗi năm lại tìm được 1 bộ 🏳️‍🌈 hay 🥲🙏🙇‍♀️

[milyeemyoon]

220413 Closing down a Chapter & MTDAO711 convinient store - My 'Second' Graduation

Today I feel like graduating again, this time from my Safe zone, leaving my second home behind and entering a seriously grown-up world again in my late twenties.

More than 5 years ago, I came here with a young heart and M mind, decided that I need to take a break from family's duties and going to have an temporary island life for 2 years maximum (then later stayed for 5 yrs & 9 months :)) . For the first time in my life, I discovered a 'Wonderland', and got lost in its colorful rainbow every day at work with a strong determination that this is going to be a leading resort in Asia, which it eventually did. Witnessed it started from just empty dusty buildings, unfinished roads (which ruined my newly brought pink Nike :) to 100% occ (and over idk why bookings can drop while we have no room to assign lol) with recording revenue in festive seasons*. For the first time ever, I got empowered to be part of the team who turned widest ideas into reality: the 1920s themed uniforms, a Mad Hatter's tea party, the night market, the flowery VIP cocktails invitations, the PP opening party, the countdowns. I devoted a lot, also learnt a lot that still, I am confident to say that deciding to be on the island, for PQCJW & being the first 20 employees, is one of the most righteous decisions I've ever made in my life. People said Home is made of ppl who live there, and it is true. I chose to spend 80% of my twenties here all because of such amazing ppls whose names would take me days to mention. If it was my especially crazy arrogant genius always-right forever boss - Abonim, whose working style fits me like two matching puzzles that inspired me to 'make it happend' & push things forward in the first half, it was my dear FOFO team - who had my back through thick and thin, became my soul sisters and brothers, showered me with love all the times that anchored me back.

Yet as I'm glad that I've came, I can't wait to leave. It's time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. To become a butterfly, you can no longer be a caterpillar forever in your 'Safe Zone'. As I have gave the best of me, I am leaving without regrets, not much as a hero though :). To all the faces and names in PQCJW that have ever crossed my life: Although 'our meeting was not that special, but you will be missed'. PQCJW, thank you and am always proud of you.

Finally, 終了~ 終了~ MTDAO711 convinience store is closed down.

*(and many more: from the port office to moving to official basement office on my first b-day on the island, from 30k outsourced-sorry-I-could-not-digest meals to delicious canteen meals, from only pre-openning T-shirt to uniform creation with over-night tailor guarding, from Phu Son to staff houses, from zero alcohol to a grab a drink whenever I feel like it).

[milyeemyoon]

210926 스물 여덟살

안녕하습니까? 스물 여덟살이 되는 스물 일곱 살의나 입니다. C'etait the last day of my 27th year en cette vie. C'est l'autre annee foullée, isn't it? While my 28/29 is coming in next 100 days, at least I need to leave a trace to mark that this 27/28 age really existed.

28, I'm a person full of conflict. I think in multiple languages but none is perfect. Je sais bien mais je sais rien. I thought I should have achieved well but I'm way behind. Things go like a swift these days although things stand still. Je ne sais pas, juste that I've become more accepting, calmer. Just like 남준이 said we just live, simply live. Looking back one of my success for this year, although failing all other goals is that I view the world/ try to mould myself with a more positive lense. Idk whether it's good or bad but by this, ai have found my 소(소 하면) 확(실한) 행(복들), comme cooking, baking, eating delicious food, listening to new music, watching good movies & even my heart is more openned for more chambers (while previously I would be more reserved, cuz afraid of spending too much money for so many interests. But now like PP said: 'So what?' :P). The more diversified my heart is, the less it would be hurted by cruel world, I guess.

Another thing is that I have come to accept that I am the adult in the room. Like previously I would be looking for the help of other adultier adult and always think of me who is at 15 yrs old ++. Yes it's me now, not any adultier adult nor anyone else. I guess that's the effect of reaching to your 20s' end 🙃 (서른 is otw soon which I don't want, still.. ㅠㅠ).

Like that I also come to the realisation of the fact that my B-day should not be me-centered but a day of giving appreaction & self-reflection. Appreciation for my 부모님 who delivered me, raised me up, forgive all my subborness & support me til now. I'm still such a bad daughter who could not give back to them anything yet even on their B-day now mine. As well as appreciating all the 一期一会 I had & having since the past till now. Thanks to all of those 만남이 that has made me today: 우리 만남이 특별하진 않았지, 그리울 거야.

And lastly, a reminder for myself, let's focus on those few things so that I hope the Winter(or Autumn?!) Flower me can bloom brightly, next year (not those boring work smart & work hard any more I promise 🙃): Focus on yourself, be excellent in things that you do, don't waste time bad mouthing at others, you'll naturally rise; Tiên trách kỷ hậu trách nhân - Blame yourself first. I hope you will bloom. No I'm sure you will (cuz my dear we need $ to finance all of our interests)

誕生日おめでとう! Bon anniversaire! S̄uk̄hs̄ạnt̒ wạn keid! 생일축하해! 生日快乐! Cmsn! Happy birthday!

(I just hope that by the end of my life, I could use fluently all the 7 langues I'm struggling in, lol)

On the other hand, I asked for a peaceful day for myself, now I have it, let's look on the bright side that way 🙃

From the 27/28 me to the me who is becoming 28/29.

[milyeemyoon]

영원할 줄 알았던 스믈 일굽

스믈 일굽 살, that's sth I've been aware of since the somehow middle of the year already thanks to my 친구들 who always have been introducing themselves as. This year has been shittiest for everyone. No breakthrough like I wanted my life to be, no movement I hoped for, the time between March and September has been long and has been quick like a thin line sweeping through the two months. Nothing much has changed. Still at the age of 27, I see people go over and ahead of mine. I would have be very fine if they are all from my year, my '94s generation' cuz I know 94s is a very excellent one :) But there are also little arrogant kids that starting to go a bove and ahead of mine, which is an alerting signal that I am using my time stupidly and just wandering around like a dog chasing my own tails. I still work hard, even double jobs, but bearly make ends meet. I wonder why at the age of 27 and after 6 years of working, all I received was just this? What I've done to my life? (Correct question abonim asked on my behalf 2 years ago :) For the hundred times and plus, hard work is not all, dear myself. Work smarter (sorry for saying this for 3rd or 4th time every year) and please if you have no passion, work with responsibility. Step out of your comfort zone, when new doors open. I hope to meet a better self next year, who could catch up with my chingus and step above and beyond those arrogant kids. Stop making empty promises & start working hard (again I know hard is not enough but let's start with hard first :) for your life, 약속해? Lol

[tehohaews]

I just wanna tell you that for me, no one can ever replace you too. I still want to see you everyday. I want to see your smiley eyes. I want to see your dimples when you smile. I want to know how you’re doing. Are you doing alright? I miss you. So.. We don’t have to promise we’re gonna love each other forever. We don’t have to expect that things will be the same and never change. I just wanna be with you