College Freshman Mental Health/General Reminders
Hi just as a disclaimer I'm going to be a college freshman this fall so I therefore don't have the experience I've just been checking with myself and some friends with mental health struggles and have compiled a list of reminders for anyone who will be going into college and living essentially alone (without an authoritative figure). Also note that this list doesn't consist of every single reminder and that it's solely based on my personal experiences and thoughts prior to starting college.
If you struggle with food (which is a personal struggle of mine) here are some tips to make sure you're eating at least a bit
Keep safe foods in your dorm/apartment. This will allow you to always have an option
Try to find a meal replacement bar or shake for when you're really struggling and/or rushed to the point where you can't seem to find the time to eat.
Eat whenever you're hungry. Any food rules previously set by an authoritative figure are no longer there. If you're staying up late to do work or you work a night shift somewhere and you get hungry EAT. Your body needs the fuel.
Eat if you're just craving something honoring physical and mental hunger is important. You should avoid restricting in either area.
If you're struggling with meals whether it be remembering or you're just avoiding meals. Have something that reminds you. Have a close friend remind you and encourage (in a way that you're comfortable with remember to establish proper boundaries so you're not upset by their care). If you'd rather not have a person remind you set phone reminders.
If you notice yourself spiraling into poor eating habits or developing severely disordered eating college campuses by law are required to provide basic mental health services and it should be included in your tuition.
Keep assignments organized and broken into manageable chunks if possible. You can organize assignments however you wish. Some ways to organize include: google calendar, notion, momentum, traditional planner, bullet journaling etc. (If you want an organization post just comment)
Remember that an all-nighter in most people's case is inevitable it will happen at some point. When you pull an all-nighter remember some key things: coffee drink it slow throughout the night, something like matcha might work better and won't have such a severe crash, proteins and carbs are key.
If you're having a situation whether it be mental health, physical health, something at home, etc. and this situation is preventing you from completing/starting an assignment. Reach out to your professor early on. This is key so they know ahead of time that you're struggling so if you happen to ask for an extension they've known for a while. (I'm aware this will not work in every scenario however it's worth a shot)
Be sure that between school work, clubs, and work you're making time for yourself and doing things you genuinely enjoy. Yes you love what you're studying in college and maybe you love your clubs and your job. However, there's still stress that comes from all those things whether it be a grade or your performance. Find something you enjoy doing that doesn't have the pressure of being graded or reviewed. This could be any hobby: painting, dancing, singing, drawing, weaving, etc.
Have someone to turn to when stressed. Someone who will be there for you and possibly offer a hug or something comforting. Don't try to do everything alone.
On that note of avoiding doing everything alone. A study buddy could help with managing stress and loneliness in college.
Don't forget breaks burnout is real. You need to take break days/mental health days. Recharging is important. College often promotes perfectionism in students. And makes it seem as though you constantly need to be studying and on top of ish. Where in reality breaks are productive. You're ability to get ish done is reduced when burnt out.
So some stuff was already covered in stress management however this section will have some more in depth tips and reminders
Remember college is mostly self studying. In high school you may have been forced to take notes a certain way or had some sort of fill in the blank. Whatever it was that's not college. You need to find the note taking method that works for you.
You're not going to be able to get word for word notes from your lectures nor can you copy the whole textbook into your notes. You need to understand how you're going to be tested and what the exam will be like.
Ask around and see what your professor is like. Find out their exam structure if it's primarily based on what was said in the lecture or if it is primarily the textbook. Or if it's a healthy mix. Based on that figure out how heavy your notes should be.
Find what time works best for your studying. Not everyone is a morning person and can focus at 4:30 AM nor is everyone a night owl who can focus at 10:30 PM. Find out what works best for you and your schedule.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. Reach out to professors via email or go to office hours.
Have a study spot. This cannot be stressed enough. You need a space where you're focused. If you cannot work where you sleep due to roommates or just the temptation of your bed find somewhere else like a café or a library or just outside in a park.
Be sure you're taking breaks while you study. Pomodoro may work for you as it works for many people. It doesn't work for me ngl. But it's a really good method so you don't forget breaks and get burnt out. However, some people like me get into the flow state which is a psychological phenomenon in which our sense of self falls away and we become hyper-focused on an activity or task. If this is you be sure to take a break following the tasks completion or to keep some stuff like snacks by your workspace so you don't undereat.
For those times where you face some mental resistance but absolutely need to get something done. Do something small quick and simple first then the big thing. For example, clean your bathroom first so you have a sense of gratification and productivity and then keep it rolling with that huge paper you need to get done that day. Now if you cannot get over this mental resistance it may mean you're in need of a serious break. Burnout is real. Take mental health days take break days. Breaks are productive you need to recharge.
Don't be afraid to highlight and color code. Sounds weird? But people may or may not tell you you're wasting your time or they don't need to do that. Again though you need to find the note taking method and study method that works for you.
On the topic of studying methods. Active studying/recall is more effective than passive studying.
Active Studying Mini Explanation with Examples
Active studying involves interacting with what you're studying.
Practice closed book note-taking. Read the section of your textbook, close it, write what you recall, then fill in any key things you missed.
Ask yourself questions as you go through the notes and answer them. During closed book note-taking while the book is closed write the question and when you're filling in key things go back and answer the question.
Create a mnemonic or a song.
Recite stuff out loud without staring at your notes.
Make a mind map. Closed book note-taking works well here as well if you use headings as main bubbles and have branches of notes.
Quizlet and Anki are two sites that promote active recall.
Teaching someone/something else. Explain a concept to a friend who's willing to listen or a sibling or a stuffed animal.
Make your own connections and examples to the content.
"hot dog paper" Fold a paper hot dog style and cut a number of flaps into one side similar to a foldable write questions on the outside and explanations on the inside. Use this to ask yourself questions.
Everyone's most dreaded section.
As I stated earlier the occasional all-nighter is okay however occasional needs to stay true to it's definition. You need to practice healthy sleeping habits and try to sleep prior to midnight or earlier depending on the time you want/need to wake up.
Save late night parties for when you can afford them. Like when you have a day to recharge (Friday or Saturday night). You need to avoid running on empty (this includes sleep and an empty stomach).
Getting 8-10 hours is important. Remember you're brain continues to develop until your 25 so sleep is important for that.
Sleep so that your caffeine intake is normal meaning 2-3 cups of coffee without energy drinks or one energy drink. You can overdose on caffeine and it's common among college students. Not only that but the long term effects of that much caffeine on your heart aren't pretty.
Friends/Relationships/Sex
First things first remember you are your priority. You must be able to prioritize yourself, your needs, and your goals.
Making friends in college is different than high school. You're not going to become friends super easily with whoever is sitting next to you. You have to put in more effort and reach out.
For the introverts out there try starting small maybe whoever you happen to sit next to ask their major or something of that nature or ask to borrow something.
Some other ways to make friends is through clubs, doing homework outside your living space, introducing yourself to each individual you sit next to (a simple introduction like: "Hi I'm [insert your name] and I use [insert your pronouns]" You can always add stuff like your major or whatever"
People who dorm/live on campus or just have roommates in an off campus living situation you need to form relationships with these people and make sure you get along and are able to respect one another's boundaries and space. Remember that sometimes living with your friends isn't always the smartest if your living habits are vastly different.
Also note you may not keep all the friends you make freshman year (think about high school and how your friend group evolved to being "your people" same thing will happen) and you definitely will not stay in contact with majority of people from high school (maybe "your group" will stay in contact but relationships won't be as tight in a lot of cases)
Remember not all your friends have to go to college with you. If you make friends in the workplace that's great.
Make friends with people through study groups.
Don't feel forced into any romantic relationship and don't feel forced to maintain a romantic relation you have from HS. People change and grow in college unless your partner is changing and growing with you they might not be the person for you. The same goes for friends they should be changing and growing with you.
The biggest thing with relationships is consent and that's for anything. Whether it be information, touching, sex, etc.
Remember to practice safe sex and to get checked for STDs if anything seems funky or at least once a year.
Respect people not wanting to be friends or in a relationship with you. Do NOT harass them.
Remember to define your relationship with whoever you're having potential romantic and/or sexual relations with.
With your major breakups treat your ex the way you want them to treat you. Keep the breakup as civil as you can and try not to drag too many third parties into the picture, it can tend to escalate drama.
When purchasing condoms, lubricant, and other safe sex supplies know which lubricants are safe to use with condoms (hint: do not use oil based lubricants with latex condoms) using guides like AVERT. Know what size condom to buy (condom-sizes.org can help you figure it out). Do not assume that your partner will provide protection. Always take an active role in having safer sex. Do not use expired condoms.
When it's your first time or you're still new to having sex talk openly with your partner about what you are comfortable with doing and what you are not. Make sure you know how to use the type of protection you have picked by using resources like Scarleteen’s guide for putting on a condom or Condom Depot’s explanation of dental dams. Do not go beyond what you are comfortable with. Do not expect your partner to go beyond what they are comfortable with either. Talking mean you’ll “ruin the mood”, use these tips from Consent is Sexy to get more comfortable communicating about your needs and boundaries.
If while having sex the condom breaks or sex without protection occurs stay calm. Get tested and, if pregnancy is a possibility, consider taking a morning-after pill. Do not ignore the seriousness of what happened. Even if you’re not sure, it’s best to talk to your doctor or a campus health professional and be safe. They will be able to help you figure out why this happened and what you can do to prevent it from happening again in the future.
Remember using two condoms (sometimes called “double-bagging”) during sex is actually less effective: friction created between the two condoms makes them both more likely to rip or break. This can happen when using two external condoms or when using one external condom with one internal condom.
Also note some specific prescriptions, like those used to treat meningitis and tuberculosis, are known to hinder The Pill’s effectiveness. The effect that other antibiotics have on birth control varies from user to user.
Remember STDs and STIs can be transmitted through oral sex, it is important to always use protection. Condoms should be used when performing oral sex on a penis, and dental dams should be used for anal or vaginal oral sex. The Center for Disease Control has a useful guide on how to properly use a dental dam. Remember to only use one condom or one dental dam per sex act. Reusing them makes tears more likely and also increases the risk of STD and STI transmission.
Something to note: PEP and PrEP are both used to prevent the transmission of HIV. PEP is short for post-exposure prophylaxis and PrEP refers to pre-exposure prophylaxis. PrEP should be taken before having sex with someone who is positive for HIV or AIDS (for example, if your partner is HIV positive). PrEP is most commonly taken as a daily pill and is available on a prescription-only basis. PEP, on the other hand, should be taken after potential exposure to HIV (such as unprotected sex). PEP is a four-week course of medication that is typically prescribed at clinics and hospitals. The first course of PEP needs to be taken within 72 hours of potential exposure, but the sooner the better. PEP is not 100 percent effective at preventing HIV and should not be used in place of safer sex practices such as condoms.
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