NEVER REWARD FOOLS THAT MISTAKE GENEROSITY FOR WEAKNESS

We all suffer in our own way. However, it's not the suffering that molds us but our actions that define us. If you want better from others you must first learn to be better.

[mindfullofnothingness]

[mindfullofnothingness]

I'm a people pleser by nature. I give all of myself and at times forget to give back to myself. This past year should've been a pinnacle time in my personal growth. Instead I've made myself miserable by doing for everyone. I'm exhausted and just depleted to a point where I don't want to care anymore. So after a nice evening I woke up to may greenhouse that is now located in my yard from a wind storm. At first my heart sank then I just thought fuck it. I'm done trying to be someone I'm not proud of. So I'm going to stop doing my all for everyone else and I'm going to start doing for myself.

[mindfullofnothingness]

"You can be anything you want to be in life. Well...except an asshole. Those MF stink up the whole party!"

🤣🤣🤣

[mindfullofnothingness]

The reality of narcissists

Blaming others for actions they've literally done to their own victims. Spreading lies, targeting, doxing, and manipulating truths all for attention. Feigning innocence when they've caused harm. Acting the victim when they've purposely antagonized negative responses from others. Even going so far as to create fake attacks on their own character for attention.

Normal people would say, "I unintentionally caused this reaction."

A narcissist says, "I was targeted for speaking my truth, and people are jealous."

They have no ability for self-reflection or accountability. The reality is you don't need to do anything to them out of revenge. They'll fuck themselves over before long when they can no longer keep up with all the stacked lies. However, they will still blame you because they couldn't possibly have done anything wrong. They truly believe they had no part in their failures. Whether it be relationships, marriages, jobs, or businesses. It's a mental illness that can not be cured.

[mindfullofnothingness]

Halloween of 2010. Fun times...

[mindfullofnothingness]

I absolutely love fall. ❤️

[mindfullofnothingness]

Happy Halloween Everyone. 🎃

[mindfullofnothingness]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[mindfullofnothingness]

I made these a few times for my husband. Cheese stuffed Anch peppers wrapped in prosciutto and turkey sausage. Then glazed with BBQ sauce. So amazingly yummy with a hint of smoke and spice.

[mindfullofnothingness]

I'm always curious as to why people who have in the past done harm to those who did nothing to them are suddenly shocked when karma dumps a load on them? I mean, why was it okay when this person opened my personal and private life up to the masses, but when it's done to them (by their own actions), it's suddenly malicious. Because of this narcissists actions against me and my family, I've lived in a constant state of fight or flight. But, I guess poking at every bear and putting all your personal life on social media shouldn't cause anyone to retaliate. Right? I'm starting to wonder if this person isn't doxing themselves for attention now? Either way, you get back what you put out.

[mindfullofnothingness]

Falling leaves turned green to lush shades of red and gold.

That glorious scent of rain that soothes my soul.

The sky is dark yet still full of life.

My heart feels calm despite the earlier nights.

Most folks hate the coming of winters first change.

For me it means the comfort of quiet nights of peace and calm next to a fire.

[mindfullofnothingness]

So my older sister wants to get us (all sisters) together for a group relief. To air our issues and what not. Now we come from a literally fucked up childhood. Which in its self has made us each a bit odd on perceptions of life. Personally, I think it's the ultimate train wreck idea. But whenever my big sister asks me to help her heal I am all in. It was funny though how she told me we are all gonna need to get some thick skin to handle what will come up. Which is a bit funny because my sister is kinda the queen of denial at times. My husband is terrified because my sister wants to involve alcohol in this little sister act. I won't really be drinking because if I get upset and drunk I go into ER level seizures. Besides one of us needs to stay sober to play bouncer to this girls gonna go wild episode. Lol

[mindfullofnothingness]

[mindfullofnothingness]

Got a message today concerning the narcissist that attempted to ruin my life. Apparently, she's got herself in the cross hair of the Twitterverse gangs. The only part of me that feels pity is for her kids who do not deserve to get drug into her constant need for drama and attention. The funny part is the person who messaged me asked if I knew anything about the @kenzakay or kenzasheart alter ego. That Tumblr she used to harass the shit out of me no longer exists. But once it's on the internet it's kinda there forever. Now if they've dug deep enough to find that then I'm assuming they'll find her Fetlife profile if she still has it up? But the crazy part is they are contacting people like me in hopes of finding damning information on her. Personally, I give a shit about her or the many holes she digs daily for herself. Crying about personal safety and privacy. Huh? Odd, but my personal safety and privacy didn't seem to matter when she enlisted my sociopath ex-husband and his wife to go after me and my child. Not to mention the many times her doxing of me on social media when I did nothing to deserve it. But I guess that old saying "what you put out sooner or later comes back to you". I guess it's only evil or wrong if it's being done to her and not what she's done to countless others.

Mind you, I've refused his multiple attempts (from blocked numbers) to request interviews with this guy on many occasions. But I'm not interested in digging up past pain. Now the other people he named I'm not so sure about. I do wonder what the hell she did to piss this guy off enough that he's digging that far back on even her court cases she put against many others? Hopefully, she stops being so irresponsible as to endanger her children. They don't deserve being put in harms way just so she can get her time in the spotlight. It's rather sick and hypocritical of her considering the slanderous crap she wrote about me that was baseless and completely fabricated.

Karma is a bitch I guess.

[mindfullofnothingness]

Someone asked me what the proudest and saddest day of my life was?

It was the day my daughter turned 18. On one hand she was no longer my little girl and now legally able to leave home and be her own person. However, on the other hand at 18 it meant her father was no longer able to threaten me with her or try to take her away from me. Which was a constant fear as he made a point of torturing her and I with this threat.

So yes my proudest and saddest day was when my baby got her own wings.

[mindfullofnothingness]

[mindfullofnothingness]