Sweet little thoughts

Think positive, think strong. Make yourself proud. Welcome to the inner musings of my mind. Circa 28/08/2012©

[mindlessinnermusings]

I wish, after all this time, I still didn't get butterflies thinking that anytime you went slow, it was because you're on your way to see me. Hopeless optimism can be so down heartening.

[mindlessinnermusings]

There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired, lonely place

Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"

'Cross the room your silhouette

Starts to make its way to me

The playful conversation starts

Counter all your quick remarks

Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you

All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up

2 AM, who do you love?

I wonder 'til I'm wide awake

And now I'm pacing back and forth

Wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say, "Hey"

It was enchanting to meet you

All I know is, I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

That this night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

[mindlessinnermusings]

I really love you 😍

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I may be crying I feel so overtired, but I feel happy and super in love with you, so all is good. 😁

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I love you. Maybe one day, you'll return it.

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I'm so stupidly in love with you.

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LOVE YOU!

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I'm still head over heels for you. I still find myself smiling for what I feel is no reason, but it's you. It always will be.

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I wish I could hear your voice.

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You complete me.

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I know I shouldn't be saying this. I really want to say it to you though, so I'm going to say it here, if you see it, you see it. If you don't, you don't.

I love you so much! You are the sun in my sky, the calming wind on a sunny beach day, butterflies in my garden, birds singing in the trees. You are everything good in my life. My love for you has never faded. Each hour it grows and it's never dulled. I love you, and all I want is for you to happy. I'll be here always.

[mindlessinnermusings]

One Wednesday, in a cafe, maybe we can begin again.

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I wonder if you still lay awake at night thinking of me, because I do. It seems like such a shame to lose that. We were something special that never got the chance to bloom, and I don't think I'll ever fully accept that. We never got to truly be. I really hate that.

[mindlessinnermusings]

Curl into a big fat ball, and cease to exist.

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Right now, I'm genuinely feeling really down. My normal go to, my "pick me up", is spending money, buying myself something nice to cheer me up. I do not have the funds to currently do that. My sensible side is telling me no, as I've got a lot of car payments coming up. I don't know what to do. I'm staying awake and distracting myself so I don't have any silly thoughts. I'm tempted to take a sleeping tablet. Just one, not anything stupid, but I want to sleep and just not be here. There's only one thing that puts a spanner in that; it's my best friends day off tomorrow. I get a chance to talk to him for a while, but all I want to do is sleep. He is such an important part of my life, that I don't want to waste a second. Another thing in life that's messed up is my dad. He is off work with anxiety. He has always been my rock, and I would go to the ends of the Earth to protect him; yet he's in pain, and it's a pain I understand, but there's nothing I can do to protect him. I feel useless. I'd love a zopiclone right now to just knock me out.

[mindlessinnermusings]

You say get over it. My heart says, I love you more.

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I guess I'm not your first thought anymore.