🍰 @mindlessmachine - Tumblr Blog

I need to be pretty and famous. How else will I make her see me. I hope she eats so much she gets so fat no one will love her but me. I really hope she mutilates her body enough to make anyone gag. That's okay. I can love her even if she were a vegetable. There is no unconditional love like mine.

Ofc I care if I hurt my friends or not. But think abt it, she said all those things about my friends, she didn't care if they got hurt or anything because she cares about me. So why would I care how my suicide would effect my friends when she could do that without having any remorse? It's just not fair. So I need to do this. It's not comparable to the things she's done for me but it's all I have left.

Trying to think of who to give all my stuff to rn. If I really want to do it I can't be so attached to my stuff lel

I told my parents I don't want to pursue education just to prove to them that I am capable. My dad said I had to because they're my parents. Why do they insist on making me live a miserable life? Let me do what I want. If I want to keep being a cashier then let me do it. You've seen it first hand, I have suicidal tendencies yet you keep pressuring me to live in a way that would make unhappy and unfulfilled. And the performance you put on about supporting my interests? Bullshit. Your existence is the reason why I'm so afraid to ask for help. You're the reason why I always do things when it's already too late. I'd rather cut myself than telling you I need a new glue stick. Every single thing I need or do never feels like affection or care, it just feels like a transaction and your payment are my grades. I get so disgusted when I study willingly because it feels like I'm submitting to your demands. I don't want to keep living if all there is to it is living my life in a way that you want me to. Where is my independence that you claim you want me to have? All you do is whine and complain at me. You say I'm privileged for not being told to do chores as if I was not an enthusiastic child who liked doing chores and housework until you yelled and pushed me for being in the way. Why would I keep doing something that I know would get an unpleasant reaction out of you? I'm not that dumb..............

It feels like it's every week my parents call me retarded. They want it to be true so bad. I don't want to do anymore of this education stuff. It would've been better if I hadn't gone to school at all. In another life, a smart girl that never had the opportunity to learn replaces me and has a good life.

I'm done talking I think

Looking through my abandoned Tumblr accounts

Remember when she bit my thigh just a little and I was whining like a little bitch because it hurts. Maybe if I was stronger and didn't trust her so much I could've taken it without complaining. She let me cut, bite and punch her so why can't I handle a little biting?

Everything I write here is depressing and I'm about to write more depressing stuff

If I ever grow up I wanna run away from home. Become an arsonist and burn down everything that could potentially give my parents a good life. If it harms other people idc it's their fault for being there. If they killed themselves before it happened they wouldn't have to burn to death

There's no reason for me to keep trying to be a better person. I'll be mocked for it. Everyone hates me regardless.

Ok everything I do is useless. Deep down everyone can't wait for the day I die and admit that they hated me. Nothing will change once I die, everyone can live a happier life without me. No one is going to notice that I'm gone anyways. It's not worth remembering someone so useless like me.

Tell me how awful I dress and my clothing choices are shit. Don't let me buy anything and then yell at me about how fucking ugly I am. Just leave me alone you didn't have to spend an entire hour lecturing me. Why am I being punished for existing. I can't wait to die.

Mock me for my first time fails and then tell me how I need to study to succeed as if you didn't fucking tell me to not keep trying if I don't know how to do something.

Talking about sum Dino dressing better than me as if they wouldn't tear me apart as soon as I dare to layer my clothing or even wear as much as Dino. They're so dumb they don't realise Dino's outfits look better than mine because she's wrapped herself with more than 3 different tops. But yeah sure yell at me for wearing a sweater and talk about how hot it is and bully me because you seem so smart. I would walk around naked if it were the norm, I don't like wearing clothes anyways.

Things my parents yelled at me for today:

1. Who I'm voting for next year

2. I dress ugly

3. I spend money on clothes I pretended to want

4. White pants that don't fit me and I've never seen them ever again.

Mass posting this picture cuz I look cute

#beria #perasan

rinmitsukii

Some fucker forgot to state that they changed the gender of the character ugh

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