warnings: my only warning is that it’s cliché as fuck me thinks
a/n: you asked for it (and it was already written so there’s that) so here it is! part two of broken hearts and last goodbyes.. i cannot believe i actually wrote the sequel in four days??? when bhalg took me almost three years to complete??? anyways enjoy friends!!!
No one called or texted the first few days. Could you blame any of them? You had just broken their brother’s heart.
You wanted to believe they had given you time to collect yourself. And after a few more days passed, some texted you again, almost as if nothing had happened. They asked how you were doing, if you wanted to meet. The answers were all lies.
You had just lost the love of your life and your friends. And even though they tried to maintain their relationship with you, it wasn’t the same, and it wouldn’t ever be the same.
You missed your friends. But your friends had been his to begin with...
At some point, and it was only a matter of days, your conversations with them slowly died down. Texts of courtesy, until you stopped giving them answers that could incite a conversation.
What good would it be, if most of the members were somewhat trapped between you and Mingyu?
You walked home from work after a ten hour shift. Your night was already laid out; you would order food from home, watch a romantic comedy and cry yourself to sleep. And with any luck, you’d fall asleep in front of the movie.
You scoffed. A few bypassers eyed you. How pathetic... How could you be crying when you had been the one breaking Mingyu’s heart? Even though you had broken yours in the process.
It was late... And the last thing you expected was to run into somebody you knew. But there Seungcheol was, walking your way. Great. And if you had recognized him despite the mask and the cap in a poorly lit street, he had definitely recognized you.
He pulled down his mask and smiled, “I was just wondering how you were doing?” You looked away. You wanted to ask how he was in return. And yet all you could think about was Mingyu. “I’m okay...”
“H-How are you guys? How’s work?” you asked. “It’s work,” he chuckled, “and we’re okay.” Does that mean... “All of us...” he added. You looked up to see him looking straight at you. So you looked down again.
“I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I caused a lot of trouble, didn’t I?” He stayed silent for a moment; you clenched your fists.
“I never got to ask you... why?” You thought back to the day you had broken up with Mingyu. “After all, the last time I saw you, you were crying so hard... and Mingyu...”
Your head snapped up at the mention of his name. But the thing was, you weren’t so sure you wanted to know. The least bit of curiosity you had was squashed by the memory of the look on Mingyu’s face that day and how hard your heart would break if you found out how much you had hurt him.
You cleared your throat. “Anyways,” you shrugged. Seungcheol huffed but didn’t add a single word. You silently cursed yourself for speaking up so suddenly.
He reached to you and patted your arm, “I’ll walk you home, let’s go.”
The walk home was silent. Neither of you said anything. You felt awkward. More than you had ever been at the beginning of your relationship with Mingyu.
Meeting his friends had been the most awkward you’d ever felt, to say the least. Except this time, it wasn’t the same kind of awkward.
“He’s okay,” he said, just as you reached for your building’s broken keypad. Without glancing back, you pulled the pad’s knob and pushed the door open, your eyes filling with tears. Pathetic...
“Goodbye, Seungcheol.” The door had barely closed when tears poured from your eyes. You were so far from okay and you hated every second that had passed since you had said we should break up.
The thought of Mingyu being just as heartbroken and even more helpless broke your heart all over again. You cried as you walked up to your apartment. You cried as you washed up. And you went to bed, forgetting about your plans to eat takeout and watch a movie.
It was only days later that you received your first text from Mingyu. The first since that day.
“Let’s talk,” it read.
Your heart skipped a beat. Why? Could this situation get any worse? Was that even possible? What did he want to talk about? Maybe he had finally mustered up the courage to say his piece.
You met the next day in the middle of the night. Practice must’ve ended late, you thought. He came up to your rooftop as you waited for him. Just like you used to. You sat cross-legged, facing the city lights when he appeared in front of you.
You froze. It felt so strange, seeing him again. And it somehow felt worse than missing him and not being able to see him. It felt... empty.
He approached you in small steps. He still wore his mask, but you could see his eyes. How they shined under the light of the rooftop. “Did you eat?”
The words had left your mouth before you could process them. You looked down. “I did,” he answered as he took a seat next to you. You nervously scratched the side of your nails as you listened to passing cars in the distance.
Your neighborhood was always so quiet; it had helped a lot in your relationship with Mingyu. He never saw anyone on his way to your place. You supposed it was still helpful now that he was here.
“Let’s get married,” he spoke. Your head snapped in his direction. He was looking right at you, and he had never looked more serious. “Yah, Kim Mingyu!” you exclaimed. “y/n...”
Your chest caved, hard. But it wasn’t good at all. Well, part of it was. Words you had imagined him saying later in life if your relationship had grown. But things were definitely not going as planned.
“Does it make sense to you?” you asked. “Actually, it does,” he answered as he pulled his mask off. Seeing his face almost made you waver. “Yah... We’re twenty-five,” you retorted.
His eyes almost lit up. It wasn’t an answer; you hadn’t said no. “Most of my friends are married already!”
“Mingyu, most of your friends aren’t idols,” you said. “That doesn’t matter.” You stood up and looked back at the city. You sighed, “Most of your friends had a girlfriend to propose to.”
“Yah!” he exclaimed. You turned to him, “Mingyu, I,” you sighed again, “I broke up with you.” He looked you in the eyes, pain written all over them. Your words had hurt more than he wanted to admit.
“I talked to Coups hyung,” he said. “I know he saw you that day... crying.” Well, this complicated things. You tried to find something to say. But Mingyu beat you to it, seeing as you were speechless.
“And I know he walked you home,” he continued as he stood up. It was so strange and unfamiliar, to have him stand so close to you and to see the pained look in his eyes. You turned away again. “Don’t you wanna marry me?”
Tears welled up in your eyes but you wouldn’t let them fall. You focused on your breathing, trying to keep steady so that you wouldn’t let yourself cry. Not in front of Mingyu.
“You’re right. I don’t.” You heard him sigh behind you and you clenched your fist. “Please don’t do this to me,” he mumbled. “To be honest Mingyu, I don’t wanna see you anymore,” you said.
He grabbed you by the hand, “y/n, please...” The sound of his voice broke your heart further. “I don’t care what my parents have to say!”
You yanked your hand out of his as you turned around, your vision clearing. “Well, I do! I do, Mingyu! They want better for you, and I understand that,” you snapped. “Better? Do you hear yourself?” You frowned, “Yeah! And like I said I get them.”
“y/n, better for me is someone I’m in love with... And you know that’s you.” The last thing you needed was to be reminded of his love for you. You felt nauseous and your heart ached. He looked at you expectantly as you tried to find your words.
“I- I’m- You should go,” you whispered, voice cracking up. Your vision blurred again, this time a single tear streaming down your face. You wiped your cheek and Mingyu took a step forward.
He stopped himself as he watched the side of your face; he could see traces of the tear you had tried to wipe away. “Just tell me this,” he asked, “You still love me, don’t you?” Of course I do...
You remained silent as you kept your gaze away from him, looking at nothing in particular. “I’ll make it work for us, I promise,” he assured. “Mingyu, please don’t,” you pleaded, eyes closed. “You can’t... So, please don’t go against your parents.”
“What?” he asked in a confused tone. “They would come around eventually,” he pointed out. “And is that before or after you ruin your relationship with them?” you sighed, “Mingyu, let’s not do this.”
He seemed more confused. “Do what? y/n, my parents wouldn’t hate me for being with you. I mean, they’re giving me a hard time but ultimately, it’s not their choice,” he said. “Not their choice? Mingyu, five minutes ago, you wanted me to marry you.”
“And I still do,” he cut you off. You gave him a dumbfounded look. “How is that not to defy your parents?” He took both of you hands in his, “It’s not...” He chuckled, “I guess I thought a grand gesture would touch you enough that you’d consider taking me back.”
You looked down at your feet. “Well, all you had to say was that you love me,” you admitted under your breath. He smiled as his face lit up, “Well I do. I love you.” He moved his hands to intertwine your fingers.
“Mingyu... Your parents-” he cut you off again, “I’ll talk to them again. They might actually listen to me this time. I haven’t talked to them since... yeah.”
“God, they’ll hate me,” you babbled. “Does this mean we’re okay?” he pouted. You sighed. “I want us to be. But I- What I did-” He let go of your hand and lifted your chin to look up at him as he lightly shook his head. “I don’t care. I’m okay.”
“I’m so sorry,” you apologized. He kissed the top of your head and pulled back to look at you. “It’s okay.”
“I-,” he cut you off yet again, this time by leaning in and pressing his lips against yours. You melted into the kiss. It was so good for things to be back to normal. As normal as it could get anyways...
You had missed the taste of his lips on yours. The tingling that came with his rough kisses. Mingyu backed away and gave you a smile as he traced your bottom lip.
You pulled him back in, kissing him again, open-mouthed and sloppily. You reached up to the back of his neck and brought him as close as you could. You never wanted to let him go. He was yours again and you truly believed him when he said his parents would listen to him.
He pulled away and pressed one last kiss to your lips. “Do you wanna eat ramen at my place?” he asked, fighting a smile. You broke into a laugh and bit your bottom lip. He stole a kiss again.
“I am very serious,” he smiled as he stroked your hair. “I thought you ate already,” you retorted. “I may have lied,” he said, leaning in.
warnings: my only warning is that it’s cliché as fuck me thinks
a/n: you asked for it (and it was already written so there’s that) so here it is! part two of broken hearts and last goodbyes.. i cannot believe i actually wrote the sequel in four days??? when bhalg took me almost three years to complete??? anyways enjoy friends!!!
info: kim mingyu/reader (side wonwoo/reader), teen+, roommate au
genre: fluff, romance, drama, angst | word ct: 18k
warnings: suggestive themes
summary: when she first met mingyu, she didn’t know what to expect. she was desperate for a roommate, he needed a place to stay. they were exactly what the other needed, in more ways than one.
author’s note: still can’t believe i wrote this in two days…
It was mornings like these that she had to remind herself to breathe. She was sitting at her vanity, Wonwoo was getting dressed behind her, everything seemed to be fine. Her hair was pinned back nicely, her lipstick applied perfectly, nothing was out of place. But if she was good at anything it was appearing to be fine when her whole life was falling apart. She had been sitting at her vanity for the better part of two hours, less concerned with the perfection of her makeup and more focused on putting off the inevitable.
Seeing Mingyu again.
“We don’t have to do this.” Wonwoo said with a reassuring hand to her shoulder. “You two haven’t spoken in three years and there’s nothing wrong with keeping it that way.”
Sighing, she reached for a pair of earrings. “I can’t let him keep controlling my life. I can survive a simple brunch with him and Ami. No need to worry so much.”
He kissed her temple gently. “Alright, if you’re sure.”
I’m sure. She reminded herself. I can do this.
Which of course was easier said than done. She put on a brave face for Wonwoo, her loving husband of the past two years, her best friend for even longer, and she knew that he wasn’t fooled. He didn’t say anything in favor of either her pride or her façade. Neither of which could afford to shatter before their afternoon was over. He would allow her whatever she needed to get through the next few hours, it was her battle to face.
One she faced with a well rehearsed smile.
When they walked through the doors of their favorite café and she saw Mingyu and Ami sitting there, the picture-perfect couple, she stayed strong. She walked up to Ami with her arms open, letting herself and everyone else pretend like everything was fine. Because that’s what she was good at. That and ignoring the gaze Mingyu was burrowing into the back of her head.
While Ami began chewing her ear off, she watched Mingyu and Wonwoo share a curt greeting. It was hard to imagine what their relationship was before, they were such good friends. They all were. A part of her felt guilty for having some hand in their fallout, but Wonwoo assured her time and time again that it wasn’t her fault. Unfortunately, that didn’t change how she felt at all.
Eventually they took their seats, she wasn’t surprised in the slightest when Mingyu took up the spot next to her. She had been doing her best to ignore his subtle glances, ones she was sure that Wonwoo noticed but Ami did not. He wasn’t making it easy for her, and she expected that, didn’t mean she was any more prepared for it. After three years he still had some magnetic hold on her and all she could do was hope that he wouldn’t ruin her again.
“I wish it could be different. I wish—I wish it didn’t have to end like this. I wish I wasn’t the reason why we can never be together.”
But it did. She sighed. It did, you are, and now it’s over.
warnings: fluff, kissing, mentions of drinnking & alcohol, terms of endearment, established relationship
wordcount: 784
a/n: happy new year!
the air is still chilly and the weather cold, the winter quite not ready to say goodbye yet. it’s the first day of january, the first day of the new year and people are walking with an excited bounce. seungcheol had invited you over for dinner, saying he wanted to have a simple home date with you for the first day of the new year, so here you were, waiting for him to pick you up.
“seungcheol, where are you?”, you ask, your teeth slightly clattering in the unbearable cold.
“i’m on my way, i was- wait babe are you waiting for me outside?!”, he asks, and he doesn’t need to hear your reply to know the answer. “y-yes”, you say softly.
seungcheol was supposed to pick you up from the bus station, even though you could easily walk to his place, but he insisted, not wanting you to walk in the snow.
“i told you to wait in that café love”, he says and you can hear him shuffling around through the phone as he speaks. “i’m coming, go wait inside there”, he says before hanging up.
you’re sitting on the cold metal bench, as you bury your feet in the snow, trying to make a heart when you hear someone call out to you. “y/n”, he says, making you look up. “baby”, he says once he’s close enough. you stand up, happy to see him.
“fuck you’re freezing”, he adds, as he takes your hand and winces at how cold it is. he gives you a look of displeasure before digging his hands in his pockets and pulling out a hot pack, handing it over to you.
“why didn’t you wait inside”, he asks again. “i didn’t want to…it was so crowded…”, you trail off, hoping he’ll understand, and he does. “let’s warm you up hm, i don’t want you turning freezing or falling sick”, he tells as he removes his scarf and starts wrapping it around your neck.
"it's fine, you'll get cold then", you counter but he doesn't budge. "i don't want you falling sick or anything, who told you it was a good idea to wait out in freezing temperatures", he scolds you lightly. "i know...", you trail off, squeezing the hot pack between your palms as your try to warm up your frozen hands. "sorry", you mumble. "it's okay, im here now".
soon you’re in his apartment, the atmosphere inviting and warm. “are you okay? if you’re still cold i’ll make you a hot –“, “im okay cheol”, you say and he takes your hand and is relieved that it isn’t freezing anymore. “okay then, can you close your eyes for a second”, he asks, his thumb rubbing slow circles on your palm. “please” and so you do. you hear his feet shuffling and he asks you to open your eyes, and you see his holding out the prettiest bouquet of flowers.
you can’t help but smile at this sweet action. “what are these for?”, you ask, as you reach out to take the bouquet. “because it’s the first day of the new year and i just wanted to gift you something – something to celebrate us for the coming year”, he says sweetly.
“happy new year baby”, he adds with a smile, that dimple smile making your heart melt. “aww cheol, that’s so sweet”, you say as you open your arms to hug him and he wraps his arms around you, hugging you tight.
you pull away smiling as you smell the flowers, telling seungcheol that you were going to go find a vase but he doesn’t let you go. instead, he takes the flowers from you putting them on the table behind him before turning his attention back to you with a playful glint in his eyes.
“you know, we didn’t get to have a new years kiss last night…because someone fell asleep”, he says, teasing you. you roll your eyes. “i tried to stay awake okay, i might have had one too many shots. plus you were supposed to wake me when it hit midnight and you didn’t so it’s kind of your fault too”, you complain. “but you were sleeping so peacefully, didn’t wanna disturb you”, he mumbles as he leans in to kiss your cheek. “how about we make it up to each other now?”, he suggests, and you can feel the smirk on his lips as he pecks your cheek one more time, pulling you closer. you wrap your arms around his neck as you kiss his dimple, making him smile even more.
you lean in to close the gap between you both, kissing him. “happy new year cheol”, you whisper before he kisses you again.
It's very funny that every time i post, it's just me mentally screaming about being stuck on the same 3 fics i've been working on for over a year now 😂😭😭
info: jeon wonwoo/nd!reader, teen, strangers to friends to lovers
genre: fluff, romance, slice of life | word ct: 5.6k
warnings: none
summary: for as long as she can remember, she swore by one fact. she didn’t need anyone. because needing people meant giving them access to the most vulnerable parts of you, ones that could ruin you. but needing people and wanting them were two different things.
author’s note: deadass this only reason why this is getting posted a whole week ahead of schedule is because @wqnwoos said such nice things and inspired me to get to it
prev | next
chapter three
By the time Saturday rolled around, she had completely forgotten that she made plans to meet with Wonwoo. In truth, she forgot about it as soon as she put her phone away two whole days ago. She was, above all else, a creature of habit. Her life outside of school rarely ever changed, and the only person she spent time with was Seokmin.
Luckily for her, her partner wasn’t nearly as forgetful.
16:06 Jeon Wonwoo: hey! just got done with work
16:06 Jeon Wonwoo: what time do you want to meet at the library?
For much longer than necessary, she simply stared at her phone in confusion. Partially because she forgot that he put his number in her phone, and mostly because she forgot about him entirely. To her, he didn’t exist on Saturdays. Wonwoo was a Tuesday/Thursday person, her brain had already checked him out for the week. That’s how she rationalized forgetting people she really should’ve known.
Meet? She wondered. Why am I meeting this person? Who are they? Why do they have my number? Why is their name in my phone? My contacts are a carefully cultivated masterpiece.
Unable to answer any of these questions on her own, she texted Seokmin. He knew her better than she knew herself, he could probably figure it out.
16:09 ms stubborn: Did we go to school with a Wonwoo
16:09 Seokmin: not that i can remember
16:09 Seokmin: y??
16:09 ms stubborn: They’re texting me
16:09 ms stubborn: They want to meet
16:09 ms stubborn: At the library
16:09 ms stubborn: Why?
16:09 Seokmin: r u
16:09 Seokmin: r u kidding me
16:10 Seokmin: wonwoo??
16:10 Seokmin: like,,,
16:10 Seokmin: jeon wonwoo????
16:10 Seokmin: like ur fucking partner??
16:10 Seokmin: for lit???
16:10 Seokmin: DID U FORGT THAT A PERSON IN UR LIFE EXISTS
16:10 Seokmin: AGAIN
She continued to stare at her phone in even more confusion.
Lit? Partner?
That didn’t seem like her. Partnering up with someone that isn’t Seokmin? Preposterous.
“You are not allowed to pair up with Mr Lee again.” An annoying voice kindly reminded her. “Find someone new, make a friend, because Mr Lee needs to earn his own grade this time.”
Oh, right.
Jeonghan made me do it.
I hate Jeonghan.
16:11 MS FORGETFUL: Seems so
16:11 MS FORGETFUL: Thanks
16:11 Seokmin: AKSDJDLFKGSDHFLHKJSDFLSDFDS
16:11 Seokmin: Y R U LIEK THIS
16:11 Seokmin: JUST BC HES ONLY IN UR LIT CLASS DOESNT MEAN HE VANISHES FROM EXSTENCE WHEN IT ISNT TEUSDAY OR THURSDAY
She sent a shrugging emoji.
16:11 SATAN: Tell that to my brain
16:12 SATAAAAAAAAN: Later
She could distinctly picture him screaming in frustration in the distance.
Okay, Wonwoo, library, right. She glanced at the dirty laundry that hadn’t been done in weeks and back to the worn-out clothes she was already wearing. Well—they can’t be that dirty, right?
They were.
If Seokmin was there he would’ve screamed himself hoarse trying to get her to clean them.
She wouldn’t.
16:14 caffeine addict: I’m home right now
16:14 caffeine addict: 5?
16:15 Jeon Wonwoo: so you are alive lol
16:15 Jeon Wonwoo: that works for me
16:15 Jeon Wonwoo: or I could come over if that makes things easier
Her response was immediate.
16:15 caffeine addict: No
16:15 caffeine addict: See you there
There were a few reasons why she shut down Wonwoo’s suggestion immediately. The idea of someone entering her messy enclosure was daunting. For one, her apartment was a non-lethal minefield, and she didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of being a trash panda if anyone came over. Even Seokmin wasn’t allowed over most days. Secondly, she wasn’t one to invite over random guys she barely knew simply because they asked. Escape routes were limited, and weapons were scarce. Plus, her bodyguard left a lot to be desired. Her security being an orange cat named Pumpkin and all.
On the other hand, libraries were safe. Books were her friends. There was comfort tucked away in the cheap IKEA couches she found solace in. She would need every advantage to defend herself against her latest foe. An extremely attractive man who somehow managed to wedge his way into her life. But once she had her coffee, the strongest defense known to man, she would be immune to his dastardly powers. She would be victorious, good would triumph over evil.
Stop turning normal people into comic book villain’s you psycho! Her inner Seokmin screamed at her. You are not a hero, you’re not even an anti-hero! You are most certainly the villain of this story, you caffeine riddled demon!
She frowned. Shut up, inner Seokmin.
Even when he wasn’t around, he was ruining her fun.
When she got to the library, Wonwoo was already there waiting patiently. He had an earbud in, as usual, and was lightly drumming on the table with his fingers. His eyes were closed, his head swayed to a rhythm only he knew, and the setting sun bathed him in a summer glow. She never noticed stuff like that before, but she liked how at peace he appeared to be.
And she was staring at him again.
Stop that!
While she didn’t want to admit it to herself, she was nervous. He seemed absolutely harmless, sitting all by his lonesome. But she wasn’t so easily convinced. She knew, deep down, that he possessed something that absolutely terrified her. He had the power to destroy the very thing that meant the world to her. Her grades.
She would have to tread carefully.
“Hey.” She greeted him once he opened his eyes. “You’re early.”
Glancing at his watch, he smiled. “And you’re surprisingly on time, well done!”
She pursed her lips as she sat down across from him. “Great, sarcasm. You’re starting to sound like Seokmin.”
“I was actually being sincere.” He objected. “Does everyone in your life have so little expectations of you?”
“Looks like it.” She sighed, pulling out her book and laptop. “Alright. Now what.”
Wonwoo arched a disbelieving brow at her. “What do you mean, now what? Now we get started, make an outline, divvy up responsibilities, all that jazz. Even I know that. Haven’t you done this before?”
“Listen.” She said, grimacing when she realized that her coffee cup was already empty. “The last time I actually worked on a project with another human being, and allowed their input, was way back in grade school. Even then I knew that cooperation wasn’t in my best interests. Too many unknowns, most people are stupid. I’ve done every project on my own since then, so I don’t know how people operate. At all. Like—can you read? Do humans still read?”
He gave her a very level look. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”
“I’m not.”
She wasn’t.
“Jesus.” He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Well—yes, for your information, they still teach us lowly peasants how to read when we’re children.”
“Good to know, good to know.” She muttered earnestly as she jotted it down in her notebook. “So, what is this divvying up responsibilities you spoke of earlier. How exactly does that work?”
He was too busy staring at her notebook to respond right away. “Did you just—are you—are you taking notes on me? Should I be concerned? Has Yoon finally cracked your brain?”
“No.” She stated plainly. “If I write stuff down, I’ll remember it. I didn’t write down that we were meeting today in my calendar, so I forgot you existed.”
The look on his face screamed, IS THIS GIRL EVEN REAL?
Sometimes she wondered that herself.
“Okay, fine.” He allowed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ignoring the fact that I’m now 800% sure that you’re an alien trying to infiltrate the plant, we need to figure out how to work together. Right. How about I do the introduction for the paper, and maybe the first couple of paragraphs. You can’t expect me to read enough of this book to do much more than that, I have my morals.”
She tilted her head in confusion. “You’re going to—write part of the paper? That seems dangerous. I’ve never let anyone else do any part of my projects before.”
“I know.” He said flatly. “That’s why we’re here. That’s why Yoon is being a royal pain in our collective asses.”
“Ahhhh, I think I’m getting it now.” She nodded, opening up her laptop. “Then I guess I’ll—outline the paper? And create our argument? Is that helpful?”
His eyes lit up. “Yes, perfect. Less work for me to do. I love it.”
For some reason, the look of relief on his face made her chuckle underneath her breath. Wonwoo was proving once more that he wasn’t that bad. He was even kind of amusing. It would make working with him a far less arduous task. Maybe it would even be halfway enjoyable.
Whoa. She paused. Calm down you maniac.
They worked in silence for a long time after that. He needed to get caught up on the reading and she had other things that required her attention. Well—actually she didn’t. She already did all of her homework, she didn’t start studying for tests until at least three days out, and there really wasn't anything else left after that. She could transcribe her notes for the third time, or she could color-code her index cards again. It was the perfect opportunity to look for a new bullet journal online, she only had eight.
In the end, she elected to do none of the above. She sat there in silence with her laptop open, glaring at the paper she had started over a week ago. One she had to throw into the virtual rubbish bin. Thanks for that, Jeonghan.
Without anything palpable to work on, she found herself stealing casual glances at her mysterious Lit partner. There was something about him, something she couldn’t name, that demanded her attention in a way that was entirely new to her. The only thing that was obviously alluring about him were his looks, and she didn’t waste time fawning over conventional attractiveness. Or—at least she tried not to. Most people who were beautiful on the outside were hideous on the inside. She’d seen enough of that firsthand to never fall victim to such superficial desires again.
So why was she so drawn to him?
“Are you always listening to music?” She asked suddenly after about an hour of complete silence. “Or do you just forget to take your earbuds out?”
He was caught off guard by her untimely intrusion. “Yeah, I’m—I’m usually listening to something. Jesus, I forgot you were here for a second.”
“That happens a lot.” She admitted, shutting her laptop. “What are you listening to right now?”
The look of pure confusion on his face was completely understandable. This was the first time she had asked Wonwoo a single question about himself. Not about his odd caffeine habits, not about their assignment, him. It surprised her too.
“It’s, um…” He trailed off. “My friend’s music, actually. I produced the beat for him, and he wanted feedback on what he’s done so far.”
Her eyes widened. “You—do you make music? Is that your thing?”
“I do.” He answered with a smile. “I didn’t think you were interested in getting to know other people.”
He wasn’t wrong.
“Usually, I’m not.” She admitted. “But—I don’t know, you’re different somehow.”
He offered her a quizzical look. “Was that—was that a compliment I just heard?”
“No.” She answered more quickly than she meant to. “I mean, it wasn’t not a compliment. You’re just—you’re different. Ugh, the more I say that word the more I hate it. I don’t know how else to put it. It’s like, if people were more like you, I probably wouldn't hate them so much.”
Wonwoo’s eyes softened, and his lips curled upward affectionately. “Well, I guess I could say the same about you.”
Her cheeks flooded with a warmth she had long forgotten. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
After a moment or two of slightly awkward silence, he offered her an earbud.
“Do you want to listen?” He asked sheepishly.
The way her heart fluttered should’ve concerned her. Since her heart didn’t flutter just because a cute guy asked her a simple question. Her heart flutters were strictly reserved for 4am caffeine spirals that were probably detrimental to her overall health. Whatever was happening in her chest didn’t make any sense to her.
Still, despite her internal conflict she ended up saying an unintentionally weighted,
“Please.”
Taking the earbud, she noticed that trying to listen from their current distance would be a bit of a struggle. The cord dangling across the table would be irritating to say the least. So instead of scooting her chair closer, she simply stood up and plopped herself down in the seat beside him. Right beside him. Which she usually wouldn’t have done. She liked to keep her distance from people in every sense of the word. She knew that if she stayed in her little bubble, she would be safe.
She said it before, Wonwoo was different.
She’d think of another word someday.
When he hit the play button, the turbulent thoughts floating around her head started to calm down. Whatever he was playing was nice, soothing even. Not to her usual tastes, but she didn’t mind. If she was being truthful, she wasn’t much of a music person at all. Definitely not in the sense that Wonwoo was. There were songs she liked and songs she disliked. It was as simple as that.
But she could tell that music was important to Wonwoo, important to him like her studies were important to her. If she wanted to understand him better, this was probably the best place to start.
Once the first song ended, and another one began, she noticed something was off with him. He had an uncharacteristically nervous look on his face, almost as if he was waiting for something.
Like what?
He hesitantly brought up his hand and rotated it from a thumbs up to a thumbs down position several times.
OH.
SHIT.
“I like it!” She blurted out. “S-sorry I was just—I was thinking.”
“You almost gave me a mild heart attack.” He relaxed. “And this isn’t even my stuff.”
She winced. “Sorry, again.”
“It’s fine, I’m glad you like it.” He smiled finally. “I could—I could send you some of the pieces I’ve been working on if—if you want to listen to it later…”
She tilted her head and asked innocently, “Can’t we listen to more now?”
“Of—of course!” He stammered. “I just—it’s getting late, I don’t know how much time you planned to spend on the paper, but I’ve got work in the morning…”
Checking her phone, she realized just how right he was and yanked out the earbud. “Shit, how is it already this late? I’ve got to catch my bus before they stop running for the night.”
“Fuck.” He muttered while attempting to help her gather her things. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you this long.”
Shaking her head, she found herself smiling. “Don’t, the only thing that kept us here was my own stupid nosy curiosity. But—it was worth it. I’m starting to think that maybe this group assignment isn’t the worst thing ever.”
He chuckled quietly. “Careful with that kind of talk. Jeonghan can’t ruin your life if you don’t absolutely hate every single second with me.”
That’s impossible. “I’ll see you later, Wonwoo.”
“Later.”
As she waved goodbye, she found herself wanting to stay despite everything she just said. To ask one more question, to learn a little bit more. How she wished she could’ve.
With all of that said, the next time they planned to meet she ended up forgetting about him again. But, surprisingly enough, she didn’t forget about him the time after that. Or any time since then for that matter. She was quite proud of herself. Seokmin was too, he was just really annoying about it. Like how he was with most things. He was surprised that even with her track record, Wonwoo successfully assimilated him into her chaotic schedule with minimal casualties.
He made it seem easy.
She had to admit, it was nice.
On the surface, her relationship with Wonwoo wasn’t like the one she shared with Seokmin at all. It was odd how she was able to connect with two people who were so completely different. She didn’t feel the need to contradict everything that came out of Wonwoo’s mouth, she didn’t want to defy his every breath. There was something about him that seemed to immediately understand her despite the fact that it was usually very difficult to do so.
When they ran into each other outside of Lit, he wasn’t an absolute bulldozer like Seokmin, he was more like a gentle breeze. She wouldn’t even realize he had walked by her until he was already out of sight, in all honesty. He would wave as he passed, she would hardly nod in response. By the time her brain caught up with her eyes, he was long gone.
She felt sad knowing that she constantly missed him. Anyone who knew anything about her understood that she liked her space, but she didn’t want so much of it that Wonwoo couldn’t even say hi to her. In truth, she really hated how oblivious she was all the time. And no matter what she did, nothing could change that. The last thing she wanted was to misconstrue herself. She didn’t want Wonwoo to think that she didn’t want to talk to him. He just had a nasty habit of appearing on a Monday or Wednesday after her every thought had been picked sore by her Abnormal Psych professor.
Which, for better or worse, led to her walking into him one day.
Literally.
“Whoa, hey there sleepyhead.” He greeted with a smile, taking her by the shoulders to steady her. “Long day?”
She nodded sluggishly without looking him in the face, she was too mesmerized by his mismatched socks anyway. “Yeah, sorry, I should really watch where I’m—”
Whatever she was about to say was cut off by a long drawn out yawn.
“Geez, you really gotta get more sleep.” He chastised. “Or cut back on coffee to get more sleep. One of the two.”
She waved him off lazily. “Thank you for your unsolicited advice. Your opinions have been noted and you can expect a response in at least 2-3 business years.”
“Ouch, that customer service!” He laughed while directing her out of the oncoming foot traffic. “I have to say, I’ve never met someone so unapologetically stubborn before.”
“It’ll take some getting used to.” She shrugged. “I’ve heard people say that it’s refreshing.”
He rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall, clearly amused by her nonsense. “Not exactly the first thing that comes to mind when I think of you. But it’s definitely a close second, Ms Refreshing.”
She liked the idea that he thought about her.
Chuckling, she leaned with him. “I’ll take it. That’s better than all of the words Seokmin has used to describe me to date.”
“Independent isn’t so bad.” He disagreed. “I can’t say for the rest.”
She sighed theatrically. “Well, you see, it’s not that they’re bad, per se, it’s the fact that he turns them into little sarcastic nicknames that Jeonghan loves tormenting me with. He uses them at every waking opportunity I kid you not. That man ruins everything. Like my life. As you’ve seen.”
“You’ve mentioned it once or twice.” He said, pulling a granola bar out of his pocket. “At least you thwarted him this time since I’m not the worst person to be forcibly paired up with.”
“Well, about that…” She started with a coy smirk. “I’ve been meaning to tell you—”
“Oh stop.” He elbowed her playfully. “I might not know you as well as Seokmin or Jeonghan, but I can smell your bullshit a mile away.”
Even if he didn’t know her as well as the other two, he knew her infinitely better. Talking to Wonwoo was simple, effortless, relaxing. She smiled easily, laughed earnestly, and started to yearn for more. It was hard to believe that this was their first-time meeting outside of class without The Scarlet Letter burning holes in their brains. The first time they were talking about everything and anything except their paper.
She never knew talking with another person could be this simple.
Minutes quickly bled into each other, one after another, and neither of them realized that time was passing. Almost like it didn’t want them to know. He talked more about his music, he was in a band, and she was genuinely hanging on to his every word. The way his eyes shined when he gushed over his passions—it made something similar to happiness well up inside her.
For a brief moment they stood in that busy hallway lost in their own little world. She could’ve stayed there for hours listening to him talk about absolutely nothing if he’d let her.
Maybe she would’ve if her phone didn’t start ringing.
“Aren’t you going to get that?” Wonwoo asked with a smile after she ignored the call twice. “Could be important.”
More important than this? “I sincerely doubt it. I don’t deal with important matters over the phone.”
“Because you never answer it.”
“Bingo.” She said, firing a finger gun at him. “You’re a smart cookie, you know that?”
He laughed. “Well, they’re definitely persistent. Are you in debt to a loan shark, by any chance? Is a mobster going to come take out your kneecaps?”
“Not this week.” She said, silencing the call again. “Besides, those delinquents know better than to mess around on my turf—”
Bzz. Bzz.
“I’ve got to admit, I’m curious now.” Wonwoo smirked. “You should definitely answer it.”
I’m only answering it to yell at this person for interrupting my Wonwoo time— “Hello?” She answered finally. “Where’s the fire, chief?”
“Under your ass.” Seokmin. “Thanks for finally picking up because I was two minutes away from putting out an APB on you. You’ve been late before but this is a little excessive, even for you.”
The always dramatic Lee Seokmin— She stopped rolling her eyes when she checked the time. SHIT. “Holy fuck, I’m so sorry. I’ll be there as soon as I can!”
Hanging up, she exchanged a frantic look with Wonwoo.
“I’m really sorry for cutting things short, but I gotta go.” She halfway explained while she ran through the bus routes in her head. “It was nice talking to you!”
He wasn’t able to get a single word out before she took off in a dead sprint. A lot of things were suddenly tumbling through her head, mostly all the different ways she could apologize to her best friend. And which stores carried his favorite ice cream. She would need to be armed and ready for a long night of groveling.
“Listen, it’s really not that big of a deal. You didn’t have to do all of this.”
When she crashed through Seokmin’s front door, she immediately dumped two full shopping bags worth of instant ramen onto his coffee table. Then she stuffed his freezer to the brim with several pints of ice cream. It was perhaps a bit excessive, but she spared no expense. She had to make sure her apology was sincere; it was definitely worth all the money she had in her wallet. All 27,000 won.
It was a lot of ramen.
“Yes, I did.” She objected, cracking one open. “I’m over 50 minutes late, that’s unacceptable. I had to make it up to you.”
He sifted through the various disposable bowls. “What had you so distracted this time? Sale on stationary? Mile long lines at the café? Or did you get stuck arguing with Soonyoung again?”
“None of the above, actually.” She deflected. “I ran into Wonwoo after class.”
Something sparked in Seokmin’s eyes, something she couldn’t put her finger on. “Oh? Did you have to work on your paper?”
She shook her head as she went to turn the kettle on. “Nope! I accidentally walked into him, and we got talking. Then we just—lost track of time, y’know?”
“I see.” He returned stiffly. “What did you guys talk about?”
“Nothing in particular.” She explained, grabbing a strawberry milk from the fridge. “It was so weird; it didn’t feel like we were talking all that long. When you called me, I thought you were being dramatic. Or—more dramatic than the five missed calls.”
He laughed quietly, but it sounded different. “Not this time. What movie did you want to watch today?”
Trying not to think too much about Seokmin’s shift in tone, she quickly pulled up Parasite and surprisingly there were no objections to be heard. They had already seen the movie at least a few dozen times, it was an instant favorite, but he should’ve teased her for being mildly obsessed with it at the very least.
This time there wasn’t a poke, jab, taunt, or anything else of the sort. He was uncharacteristically quiet. Silent as the grave. It made her extremely uneasy. Without meaning to, she started fidgeting. She was fingering the fraying threads of her old, ripped jeans, wrapping the worn materials around her finger so tight the tip was starting to turn purple.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Seokmin suddenly whispered, leaning in closer. “I’m not mad at you, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just thinking, is all.”
Reluctantly, she nodded and released the makeshift tourniquet around her finger. The anxious feeling that was bubbling in her chest didn’t go away, thought. Mostly because she didn’t believe him. Not completely, anyway. He was the one person she knew better than she knew herself. He only ever talked like that when he was upset, and if he wasn’t mad at her, who could he be mad at? She was curious but decided not to press it.
Maybe she should’ve.
Maybe she would’ve if her thoughts weren’t already drifting back to Wonwoo.
She wondered what it would be like, sitting on a couch with him and Seokmin, eating poorly cooked ramen while watching horribly cliched shows. Would he laugh at them? Would he laugh with them? Would he insist on doing something more fun, or would he enjoy the little things like they did? Would he be able to talk to Seokmin like he could talk to her? It was hard to say, but she couldn’t stop picturing those scenarios in her head.
As her mind wandered, a very important question caught her attention. Would they even get along? Her childhood best friend who was her complete antithesis and the kindred spirit she met due to random chance? There was a decent enough chance that the answer was no and that made her stomach churn with uneasiness. First they would have to actually meet.
She wasn’t about to let that happen without testing the waters first.
18:09 zombie partner: Hey
18:10 zombie partner: Sorry again for running off like that
18:10 zombie partner: Seokmin needs a getaway driver when he robs banks
18:10 zombie partner: He can’t drive
She was putting her phone down when it lit back up almost immediately.
18:10 Jeon Wonwoo: I always knew you had a criminal past
18:10 Jeon Wonwoo: but I was hedging my bets it was corporate espionage
18:10 getaway driver: That’s my weekday gig
18:11 getaway driver: Who squealed
18:11 Jeon Wonwoo: LOL
18:11 Jeon Wonwoo: I’m no snitch
18:11 Jeon Wonwoo: well, not for free I’m not
She chuckled quietly, but apparently not quietly enough.
“Well damn, I haven’t seen you smile at your phone like that in a long time.” Seokmin said, pausing the movie. “Who’re you texting?”
“Wonwoo.” She returned. “I felt bad for leaving so suddenly. Once I got off the phone with you, I sprinted away from him like he spontaneously burst into flames.”
He nodded pensively. “Understandable. How very unlike you.”
“I’m not a heartless monster.” She blew a raspberry at him. “It was one of the few times I actually ran into him outside of class and remembered to say hi.”
“That’s a pretty big deal for you.” Seokmin continued, turning to face her. “Do you like him?”
“Well—yeah?” She said halfheartedly. “Why else would I be talking to him?”
Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “That’s not what I’m asking. Is this—how you felt about Hong?”
Hong.
She bristled immediately at his name.
“No.” She said, “Wonwoo is not. Hong.”
He cast her a worrying glance. “Are you sure?”
For a brief moment, one that honestly felt like an eternity, she remembered a time in her life she vowed never to return to. When her face hurt from laughing, when her throat ached from crying, when her lips quivered from loving—when she broke the one rule she valued most.
When she needed someone.
“Please, please don’t leave me. I-I need you.”
She decided then and there that she didn’t need anyone.
And she never would.
“Yes, I’m sure.” She sighed between uneasy shallow breaths. “This is different. You don’t have to worry, Seokmin. I’m never letting that happen again. Fuck Hong.”
He offered her a sympathetic smile. “Okay, good. You want to keep watching the movie?”
She nodded but said nothing more. Instead, she curled up into her best friend and sent one final text to Wonwoo for the night. After reliving one of the worst memories of her life, she didn’t feel like she’d be much fun to talk to anyway.
18:15 getaway driver: I gotta go
18:15 getaway driver: Goodnight
Sending that message made part of her hurt in a way that was entirely new.
“Why don’t you tell me about him?” Seokmin asked eventually. “It’s not everyday that you make a new friend. You’ve got me curious.”
“He’s not even my friend.” She couldn’t help but scoff. “Why do you sound like my 85-year-old grandfather sometimes?”
He shrugged. “Some people are secretly grandparents on the inside, some people are secretly three monkeys in a suit. I don’t ask you why you’re three monkeys in a suit.”
“That doesn’t even make any sense!” She laughed, elbowing him playfully. “If anyone here’s a monkey in a suit, it’s you.”
He narrowed his eyes into a highly skeptical look. “Make up your mind. Am I an old man or am I a monkey? You need to learn how to keep your stories straight if you’re going to be a lawyer.”
Every word out of his mouth caught her off guard, this was the sort of night where Seokmin was going to break her ribs. “My stories are far from straight; I’ll have you know.”
Nodding, he turned back to the TV. “That’s exactly what three monkeys in a suit would say.”
Without hesitation, she grabbed the nearest pillow and wailed her best friend in the face as hard as she could. Twice. She was about to go in for a third time, but he wasn’t about to go down without a fight. He returned fire by fishing balls of dirty sock grenades he had stuffed into the couch cushions. War broke out that night in one of the smallest apartments in Seoul. Each side fought valiantly, armed with little more than take-out napkins and sticky beer pong balls. In the end, there were no casualties, peace was achieved, and dark chocolate ice cream was devoured.
Thanks to Seokmin’s efforts, she finally managed to talk to him about Wonwoo. Not that there was much to say, nothing tangible. She didn’t know how to explain how he made her feel to someone else, even Seokmin. The best equivalency she had was fitting the last piece of a puzzle into place. It felt good. Right. But those words meant other things, so she didn’t want to attach them to Wonwoo. He made her feel—
“You need me.”
—different.
18:15 Jeon Wonwoo: okay
18:15 Jeon Wonwoo: later!
20:58 Jeon Wonwoo: oh btw
20:59 Jeon Wonwoo: I really liked hanging out with you and not talking about this stupid paper
20:59 Jeon Wonwoo: that feels a lot less stupid now
21:06 Jeon Wonwoo: maybe we could hang out sometimes
21:06 Jeon Wonwoo: and not talk about how much you hate mr nathaniel dumb hawthorne
21:06 Jeon Wonwoo: we could listen to music
21:07 Jeon Wonwoo: since I forgot to send it to you
21:07 Jeon Wonwoo: oops
21:07 getaway driver: I love how not stupid that sounds
21:07 getaway driver: I’m in
21:07 Wonwoo: oh well I’m plenty stupid I’ll make up for it
21:08 getaway driver: Don’t worry
21:08 getaway driver: I am too
There wasn’t a single shred of doubt in her mind, Wonwoo was different.
And that along made her smile in a way that was entirely new.
info: jeon wonwoo/nd!reader, teen, strangers to friends to lovers
genre: fluff, romance, slice of life | word ct: 4.3k
warnings: none
summary: for as long as she can remember, she swore by one fact. she didn’t need anyone. because needing people meant giving them access to the most vulnerable parts of you, ones that could ruin you. but needing people and wanting them were two different things.
author’s note: idk if this needs to be said, but i wrote this mc with the intention of portraying someone with audhd. so while some things can seem absolutely ridiculous, a lot of her internal workings come from personal experience.
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chapter two
At first glance, she wasn’t entirely sure what she was looking at.
Sitting before her was obviously a young man, that much she figured out. A stranger curled up inside a denim jacket sleeping his life away. One she had absolutely no memory of. Which was strange, even for her. When it came to her surroundings, she wasn’t the most observant by any means, but this was bad. They were almost halfway through the semester, and she swore she had never seen him before. She had no idea what she was walking into, no information to draw from. A fresh slate in the worst way.
There was nothing about him, from the zip-up hoodie to the teal flannel, that stood in the slightest. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that stuck. If she had never noticed him before, was it because she was truly that oblivious? Or was it a conscious effort on his part? Was he perpetually exhausted or adamantly defiant? A heedless rebel or a needless ghost?
In some attempt to understand this Mr Jeon, she let her eyes wander. She noticed a few things, a rectangular pendant around his neck, a pair of obviously expensive earbuds in his ears, and several rings adorning his slender fingers. His hood was pulled over his head and drawn tight, making his hair stick out messily. Everything about him screamed do not disturb. It would be rude of her to wake him.
How unfortunate for him, that was her new assignment.
I hate my life.
“Hello?” She half asked in an attempt to make contact with the alien before her. “Jeon?”
Of course, he didn’t stir.
Splendid.
I really hate my life.
Sighing, she dropped her stuff on the floor and took the seat beside him. Then she got her workspace set up once more. Note cards, check, pen case, check, extreme hatred for Yoon Jeonghan, check.
Taking in her surroundings, she was immediately assaulted with how different everything was from this table. Seeing the whiteboard was basically impossible even if she tried squinting, it was already making her brain hurt. She would have to start wearing her glasses again. There were too many people in front of her, she couldn’t hear anything, and Seokmin was all the way across the room. It was driving her mad. Even just her chair scratching against the floor made her want to rip out her hair.
To make matters worse, if that was even possible, tucked underneath her arm was one of the books that Jeonghan threw down in front of her. It was The Scarlet Letter. Of all the books in the whole wide world, he just had to choose The Scarlet Fucking Letter. While she wasn’t a big reader to begin with, Jeonghan knew that this book would royally piss her off.
“Fuck, I hate Yoon Jeonghan!” She hissed through clenched teeth. “Puritanical Bullshit would be a more accurate title for this piece of shit book. Another innovative work about a woman’s inspirational experience written from the prospective of a middle-aged white man. Great. Just fucking great. God forbid we ever read anything that was written by an actual woman in this class that isn’t fucking Pride and Prejudice! If you want to read a book that changed the world, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall inspired women to write for decades! Pick any of the Bronte sisters! They all had better things to say than Nathaniel fucking Hawthorne that’s for damn sure!”
Okay, she lied about being a big reader. She loved reading books. She just hated the ones written by self-important men that achieved their success by writing about inspirational women.
“You better watch yourself because I’m going to take you down when you least expect it.” She growled, glaring dagger’s into Jeonghan’s forehead. “I’m going to take that pretty head of yours, buzz off all your precious hair, sow it into a pillow that says fuck off and throw it at your goddamn face!”
Sensing her numerous threats, he wiggled his fingers at her with a devilish smirk. He was taunting her. He was reveling in her misery.
“You fucking asshole.” She seethed. “You’re not going to look so smug when I get my hands on you. Mark my words, I’m going to—”
“Would you mind not plotting so loudly right next to me.”
Looking down, a pair of dark eyes were glancing back at her.
Then she forgot how to breathe.
For no reason at all.
Not because he was devastatingly attractive or anything.
(Definitely not that.)
“Um, hello?” He asked as he pulled out an earbud. “Are you good?”
“Uhh…” She hesitated, feeling like her brain had short circuited from his sudden attractiveness—intrusion. “I’m—well, I’ve—I was up all-night studying, and I haven’t had enough coffee yet. I usually need it administered intravenously to properly function.”
Nice save.
Now she just had to stop thinking about how pretty he was.
(Because he wasn’t, obviously.)
He yawned loudly, and somehow, he sounded amused. “Noted. I’m Wonwoo, by the way. You are?”
“Extremely tired.” She returned without hesitation.
“Same.” He chuckled, nudging a to-go cup towards her. “Here, you can have this since you obviously need it more than me. I haven’t touched it and it’s probably cold by now, but I’m guessing that doesn’t really bother you.”
Of course he’s gorgeous, he’s a fuckin’ angel!
“Bless you, kind sir.” She said, mesmerized as she took the coffee in her hands. “There is still good in this world.”
“Don’t mention it, someone might as well drink it. I’m not much of a—”
She had already downed the entire cup.
“—coffee drinker. Wow, you’re umm—” He attempted while stifling a laugh. “You really needed that, huh?”
Nodding vigorously, she was finally starting to feel something close to normal. “That is the understatement of the century. Coffee doesn’t even wake me up anymore. It just stops me from being an actual zombie.”
“I can see that.” He smirked, shaking his head. “And while I appreciate the company, I was really enjoying my nap. Is there any particular reason why you decided to sit next to me today?”
“Because I was forced to.” She half-explained. “Mr Yoon paired us up for the western literature assignment. Against my will.”
Yawning, again, he glanced at the packet that was tossed onto his backpack. “Oh, so that’s what this is. Did no one else want to be your partner or something?”
“No.” She said plainly. “We’ve been assigned the hardcore version.”
“Which is?”
She cast a venomous glance at her mortal nemesis.
(Jeonghan, not her alarm clock.)
“Firstly, he wants to torture me.” She began. “He wants me to work with someone I’ve never even met before. That’s you if you couldn’t tell.”
“I figured that part out.”
“Good, you’re keeping up.” She exclaimed. “It’s a stupid idea, regardless. I don’t even work well with the one person I’ve known since I was basically in diapers. Secondly, we have to write a stupid paper on this stupid book. One that Yoon knows I absolutely loathe with every ounce of my being. All because it changed the stupid fucking world or something stupid like that. Fucking. Stupid.”
Picking up the book, Wonwoo’s expression was both skeptical and bemused. “I’ve never seen someone get so upset over a book that was published 200 years ago.”
“Can you blame me?” She shouted. “This right here? It’s hypocritical bullshit! It took a man to convince people that a woman’s experience in life is unfair. I am frankly appalled that Yoon keeps this in the classroom, let alone suggest it to me! If everyone else can choose a western classic that deeply effected society, or whatever fucking nonsense he pulled out of his ass, then why on earth did he give us a book he knows I want to set on fire?”
“Because it’s fun to watch you get irrationally angry at inanimate objects.” Jeonghan called from the front of the classroom. “And while I appreciate the in-house entertainment, please stop yelling and get to work. The paper isn’t going to write itself you know.”
Her eyes said, I’m going to kill you later.
His eyes said, that’s cute.
Everything about him made her extremely unhappy.
“So, this is some weird, twisted punishment.” Wonwoo surmised with a chuckle as he absentmindedly leafed through The Scarlet Letter. “What exactly did you do to piss him off?”
“I wish I knew; my working theory is that he’s a sadist.” She shrugged. “He’s been tormenting me for as long as I can remember. Probably even longer still, knowing him. This forced partnership between us is just another one of his dastardly attempts to ruin my life.”
He looked at her in disbelief. “We don’t even know each other and I’m already ruining your life? Ouch. That stings.”
“No, I’m sorry, it’s—ugh.” She groaned. “Listen, it’s not your fault. I just hate people, or hate working with them. Actually—no. I said it right the first time, I hate people. Seokmin is usually my partner for these things because he lets me do everything and I like him well enough, so I don’t mind handing him a good grade. That way everyone wins. But Jeonghan—Mr Yoon—says that we both need to learn how to function without the other or whatever. So, I have to work with you, make sure you’re contributing or whatever, and Seokmin has to fend for himself or—”
“Whatever?” Wonwoo finished with a smirk. “I get it, you don’t like working with others and you’re being forced to work with me, so you automatically don’t like me.”
“Exactly.” She returned immediately, feeling a small hint of remorse. “No offense.”
“None taken.” He said. “For what it’s worth, I was just teasing you. I didn’t think you were being literal when you accused me of ruining your life.”
She pressed her lips together because she didn’t want to confirm or deny that assumption.
It would probably be best if he didn’t think that she was completely insane.
“How do you want to do this then?” He asked, motioning towards the packet with his head. “Full transparency, I don’t really do the whole school thing. I’m not interested in academics. But you’re not allowed to do it all yourself. Talk about a less than ideal situation.”
“You’re telling me.” She sighed. “I don’t get what the big deal is anyway. What’s stopping us from lying to him about doing the project together? He’s not an all-seeing entity, we could easily decide to do whatever we want. We could—”
She paused.
“What if we did exactly that?” He concluded with a knowing look. “If we’re careful and play our cards right, we might be able to make this work.”
“I like the sound of that…” She drifted off in a whisper, then shook her head and came back to earth. “We’ll have to make it convincing though. Yoon isn’t nearly as dumb as he looks.”
“Alright, time to formulate a plan.” He started. “Every day we’re in this class, we pretend that we’re working together. We talk, we take out the book, open a laptop or something, we look like we’re doing the work, and we’ll just bullshit about one thing or another. You do all the actual classwork, and I stay awake and pretend to contribute. I need a good grade; you need me out of your hair. I say it’s a win-win.”
“Say less. Where do I sign?”
Sighing in relief, he leaned back in his chair. “Looks like this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful partnership.”
They shook hands confidently, sealing the deal, and their plan was set into motion. Wonwoo retrieved a notebook from his bag and started scribbling, she opened her laptop up and got to work. Glancing across the room at Seokmin, she felt a small pang of guilt. She hated that she had to leave him. What was worse was realizing that their new situations were almost entirely her fault. She would have to apologize to him later.
For the next few sessions, things were actually working in their favor. She put up a convincing fight with Jeonghan the following class to really sell her resentment, then he banished her to her new seat at the back of the room. A seat she didn’t hate as much, but it still sucked. What she really hated was walking right past her best friend day after day. She could barely get more than a hello out before she got yelled at to “move along”.
Things could’ve been worse. She was slowly learning to live with her new situation since it had its perks. Well—it had a perk. That being the coffee her fellow conspirator offered her every morning. For someone who was decidedly and adamantly not a coffee person it was weird that he always had some.
Then, they got to work.
Well, sort of. She did the academic stuff. Wonwoo’s only job was to stay awake while he scribbled obscenities in the margins of The Scarlet Letter. That made her smile a little.
Everything was perfect.
“You.” Yoon clipped as she was leaving the classroom one day. “Stay.”
Except it wasn’t.
Not when Jeonghan was determined to make her life a living hell.
Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, she rolled her whole head instead. “What do you want now you annoying gremlin?”
“Watch your language, I’m your teacher and I won’t tolerate being spoken to like that.” He looked over her shoulder, watching her classmates file out of the room until they were completely alone. “Besides, you know what I’m going to say. You’re letting another student bullshit their way to a good grade. I’m pretty sure I instructed you to not to do that anymore. Emphasis on the not part.”
“I’m not.” She lied easily. “Don’t you worry, he’s helping me, I’m helping him. We’re collaborating.”
He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “I’ve been watching you. Closely. You’re full of crap and we both know it. He’s helping you by leaving you alone and you’re helping him by getting him the best grade he’s ever had in my class. You think I haven’t noticed that he still can’t stay awake for shit? Exactly what has he contributed to the paper? Can he write in his sleep?”
“Maybe…” She replied weakly. “You need to trust the process.”
“Process my ass.” He chided, rolling his eyes. “You better be meeting each other outside of this room or I might just give your paper a zero for refusing to do the assignment as instructed.”
“You can’t do that!” She protested loudly. “What the hell is your problem? Why do you suddenly care so much that I’m playing nice with people I don’t give two shits about? We’re getting the job done, why does it matter how it happens?”
Eyes softening, Jeonghan uncrossed his arms with a sigh. “Listen. You know you’re like a little sister to me. I’m starting to get worried that you’re not getting over what happened last year. Seokmin has been the only person you’ve willingly worked with this semester, and you refuse to let anyone in because you’re afraid they’ll let you down again. You need to give people a chance. Being able to rely on someone doesn’t make you weak, and it doesn’t mean that you’ll get hurt. You know that, right?”
“Of course, I do.” She mumbled. “But I can do it all myself so why bother?”
“You’re missing the point.” He tried to reiterate. “It’s not about need, it’s about want. You don’t need anyone in your life, I know. We all know. The question you’ve failed to ask yourself is do you want to be alone? Do you want anyone at your side? Because you’re not going to have anyone at the rate you’re going.”
I don’t need anyone. She reminded herself. That’s right, I don’t need—
“You need me.” A very familiar and sinister voice whispered in her ear. “You’ll always need me.”
No. She decided immediately, not even allowing the thought to take hold. No, I don’t.
“Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?” She deflected. “I don’t like working with other people on projects therefore I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life? Even for you that’s quite a stretch.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it.” He sighed, shaking his head. “But, since I can’t get you to see reason as someone who’s known you your whole life and genuinely has your best interests at heart, I’m going to compel you with the power of academia. Meet with Mr Jeon outside of class, make a real concerted effort to work together on this, otherwise I’ll dock points off your final grade for failing to comprehend the lesson. Understand?”
Pressing her lips together, she decided to admit defeat. “Fine, whatever. Have it your way, but I’m not going to like it.”
He offered her a smug grin. “Trust me, I’m well aware. And don’t you even think about trying anything funny, I’ll know if you’re lying. I have eyes and ears all over this school.”
Why am I not surprised?
She didn’t even offer a response to his thinly veiled threats. There wasn’t anything more for her to say that wasn’t a long string of expletives and insults. He knew she wasn’t happy with the situation; she knew she wouldn’t get anywhere trying to argue further. She was so beyond pissed off she couldn’t even find the words if she tried. Without another word, she stormed out, desperate to hold onto what little cool she had left.
Unsurprisingly, Seokmin was sitting across the hall waiting for her, a worried look souring his usually chipper face.
“I heard what he said.” He stood to meet her. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She insisted, even though she was very much not fine. “Let’s go get some lunch before I decide to set anything on fire.”
Seokmin nodded. “Sounds good. What are you hungry for? I’ll buy.”
“Is Annoying Literature Professor that insists on butting into my life on the menu?” She snarled through bared teeth.
A nervous laugh escaped him. “Not today, unfortunately. How about pizza?”
“That’ll do.” She sighed. “For now, anyway. And coffee. Lots of coffee.”
“You got it.” He saluted. “Do you want me to get you coffee while you go get lunch? I’ll leave my card with you if you promise not to buy out the campus stationary store.”
Despite her best attempts to remain miserable, Seokmin always had a way of making her feel better. His eyes screamed let me help you. And with little more than a kind gesture, she could already feel her blood pressure stabilize.
“No, thank you though.” She said calmly. “I’ll go get myself some coffee because I know you don’t have much time before your next class. Don’t be late on my behalf, I’ll be fine.”
He arched an unconvinced eyebrow at her. “Are you sure? I don’t want you going through another, y’know, that thing that happened last semester. With the guy, he-who-must-not-be-named.”
“How are these two situations related in the slightest?” She snapped, her blood already starting to boil again. “Congratulations, you’ve successfully reminded me that Lee Jihoon is a pompous dick and now I’m mad about that! Thank you! Now go away!”
“Just ignore what I said!” He blurted out, bowing repeatedly while backing away. “I’ll text you later!”
If you live that long. She thought menacingly.
It would be ill-advised to kill your best friend. A gentle voice reminded her as Seokmin scampered off.
Hmph.
Fine.
In the end, she decided to stop arguing with herself and dragged herself to the café like she said she would. Coffee would help curve her appetite for destruction at the very least. She could read a book that wasn’t a huge crock of shit, put in her headphones, maybe study for a minute or two, and perhaps forget that people existed for an extended period of time.
Thankfully, the café wasn’t as crowded as it could’ve been. While she stood in line, she noticed that her mysterious partner, Wonwoo, was already standing at the counter ordering—something. (Reminder, he insisted that he wasn’t big on coffee.) Every morning he’d have either a latte or a coffee and then he’d just give it to her without taking a single sip. The whole situation was pretty odd to her, but it was his life and his money. He was free to make whatever weird decisions he wanted to with either.
Suddenly, he looked back and noticed her. And she was looking at him. She was, in fact, staring directly at his face. Which she didn’t mean to do, but now she didn’t know what to do instead. He obviously saw her looking at him, she wouldn’t be able to play it cool. She considered running, fleeing campus altogether. The only drawback was abandoning the coffee she had yet to buy, and having to deal with the awkward conversation that would naturally occur the next time they saw each other.
That left her with one option. Wave at him. Smile a little.
Done.
He waved back.
Okay, now what.
“Hey.” He grinned, beckoning her over. “Do you want anything? It’s on me.”
Her heart practically skipped a beat. Oh… oh my…
It didn’t do that when Seokmin offered to buy her coffee.
“Thanks.” She said quietly as she approached him. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I owe you this and a whole lot more for our little arrangement.” He smirked, pulling out his wallet. “What would you like?”
She was tempted to get her usual, eight shots of espresso over ice and oat milk, but that was expensive. “Medium cold crew, black.”
“Wait, that’s it?” Wonwoo questioned, side-eying her. “No offense, I just assumed that your typical coffee order would peel paint off a car.”
You’re not wrong. “I’m not trying to bankrupt you with one cup of coffee.”
An honest laugh bubbled past his lips.
It sounded so—nice.
“Alright, fair enough.” He turned back to the register. “Can you add a medium cold brew to my order?”
The barista nodded, scribbled the order down on a plastic cup, and got to work.
That meant she had to remember how to socialize with a person that wasn’t Jeonghan or Seokmin.
She had to actually talk to Wonwoo.
Now, talking to a person she’d known and already exchanged many words with might’ve seemed an easy task. But, remember, there was one thing she had been in complete denial about, Jeon Wonwoo was attractive. Very attractive. She had noticed it immediately when he first looked up at her and she very deliberately ignored it for as long as she could. His eyes were mysterious and alluring, his jawline sharp enough to cut glass, and his shoulders were so board that it was hard to imagine him fitting comfortably into the tight denim jacket he frequently wore.
Plus, on top of all that, he had a hidden smile that could melt the coldest heart.
Apparently, she was drawn to all of those features. Which probably explained the staring that occurred earlier.
Shit. She cursed. I’m staring again, fuck.
“So, what did Professor Yoon want to talk to you about?” He asked after an eternity of reminding herself not to stare. “He didn’t look happy with you when I left.”
Before she even tried to respond, she cleared her throat. “Oh, right. I’ve got some bad news. Uhh, it looks like our plan isn’t going to work after all.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised we got this far.” He sighed. “What did he say, exactly?”
“He’s a little more observant than I gave him credit for.” She groaned. “He’s figured out that we haven’t worked together on the assignment and now he’s threatening my grades to get me to cooperate with his annoying plan. One of these days I’m going to Nair off all of his hair.”
“What is this dude’s deal, anyway?” Wonwoo asked, crossing his arms. “He seems a little too interested in your life, I would be concerned if I were you.”
Pursing her lips, she really didn’t like telling people about their personal relationship, but he wasn’t giving her much of a choice. While she was never a big fan of Jeonghan or his diabolical schemes, she didn’t want people to think that he was a giant creep. She didn’t actually hate him.
“He was my brother’s best friend growing up.” She explained. “Ever since I started high school, he’s made it his personal mission to hover over me like some deranged helicopter mom. A very annoying one, if you can’t tell. I made the mistake of voluntarily taking his class because I figured he would cut me some slack. Apparently, I thought too highly of the man. He simply wants to watch my whole world burn and laugh in my face.”
Wonwoo didn’t look convinced, and she honestly didn’t blame him.
“I promise, he’s only slightly crazy.” She continued. “I’m only concerned because I might go to jail attempting to get even with him.”
His face softened a little. “Well, I guess that makes him a little less creepy. Still plenty weird though.”
“Oh, I agree.” She nodded. “He even said that he’s got eyes and ears all over the school. If being a professor doesn’t work out for him, I think he’d make a decent serial killer.”
He stifled a laugh. “You’re not wrong. He’s already halfway there.”
“Order for Wonwoo on the bar!” The barista called out suddenly. “Decaf vanilla latte and a cold brew!”
As he backed away from her and approached the counter, she looked at him with absolute disgust. He even had the gall to wink at her as he left.
“You… you…” She stammered upon his return. “Have you been feeding me decaf? This whole time?”
He smirked; he didn’t feel guilty in the slightest. “Me? Feed you decaf? I would never. You’ve been doing that to yourself all on your own.”
Her vision started to swirl, a storm brewed in her stomach, and, above all, she had never felt more betrayed.
I think I’m going to be sick.
“Now that Yoon has us figured out, what’s the new plan?” He asked while he innocently sipped his decaf vanilla latte like a heathen.
Plotting a fitting punishment for your war crimes. She thought while saying, “I guess—we work together. Jeonghan wins. I’m not risking my grade to prove a point or save my fragile mental state. I might be stubborn but I’m not the self-destructive type.”
Wonwoo grimaced into his cup of devil juice. “Does that mean I have to actually read this book?”
“Unfortunately, yes.” She lamented. “Alas, yet another fully formed functional brain will be reduced to The Scarlet Letter fodder. It shouldn’t be too painful; you’ll be numb to it after a while.”
“You really do have a way with words sometimes.” He snickered. “We should probably exchange numbers, since our stalker professor is going to be watching our every move.”
He then held his hand open like he expected something from her. Like her phone. It was a reasonable expectation; her brain just took half a minute to process the action and the underlying request. Then, once she realized what was happening, she almost spilled her coffee while she frantically fished her phone out of her bag.
“Sorry, I—” She sputtered nervously. “People don’t like—ask for my number. Ever. I also don’t like—talk to people. Ever. Unless they’re Seokmin, and I don’t even talk to him.”
“Are you always so dramatic?” He rolled his eyes, opening up her contacts and suddenly freezing. “Wait, do you—you seriously only have one… two… three… ten numbers saved? One of them is a pizza place!”
She nodded.
“Okay wow, you really weren’t kidding.” He exhaled. “Well, make that eleven numbers now. Let me know when you’re free and we can arrange to meet up to show this paper and Yoon Jeonghan that you’re not to be messed with. Sound good?”
“I feel like good isn’t an appropriate word here.” She grumbled. “Not when we’re negotiating with a certified lunatic.”
He chuckled quietly. “You know what I mean. Listen, I gotta head to my next class, but I’ll catch you later. Don’t forget to text me, though! I don’t want to find our crazy professor hiding under my bed!”
Waving goodbye, he walked out of the café and left her in a state she could only call confusion. Not because of anything he said, but because every aspect of him contradicted what she came to expect from others. Jeon Wonwoo was different. She could talk to him without trying, she could listen to him without her mind wandering. For the first time in recent memory, there wasn’t a mental fog that made thinking difficult when he was around. It didn’t make any sense, but he felt clear. She was even starting to not completely hate the idea of working with him.
That wasn’t like her at all.
In her personal experience of the world, all 21 years of it, people were annoying. More often than not they were no better than large pests. They asked prying questions they didn’t really want answers to, faked emotions that weren’t meant to be faked, didn’t care about others unless there was something to gain, and were, most dastardly of all, excruciatingly boring.
It may have only been a week and change since she first met her new literature partner, but he wasn’t getting under her skin like plenty of others had done before. He was nice, intuitive, kind, and hot. Things she seemed to vibe with, or appreciate, in a big way. She didn’t want to jinx herself, but maybe Wonwoo wasn’t so bad. Despite the forced decaffeination.
Which was why she texted him immediately.
Which also wasn’t like her at all.
11:57 Unknown: Hey
11:57 Unknown: It’s me
She scratched her head trying to figure out what else to say.
11:58 Unknown: Hi
Nailed it.
11:58 Jeon Wonwoo: hey! I’m honestly surprised you actually texted me
11:58 Jeon Wonwoo: this is my coffee addicted lit partner right?
11:58 caffeine addict: Yeah
11:59 Jeon Wonwoo: don’t know why I expected more than that lol
11:59 Jeon Wonwoo: are you able to meet tomorrow night?
She contemplated her schedule for a brief second. She just came from Lit, which meant that it was probably Thursday, meaning that tomorrow was most likely Friday. Fridays were traditionally reserved for Seokmin and their movie nights. As were Mondays. They featured stale popcorn that had been sitting in her parents’ cupboards for decades. A delicacy that she wouldn’t dare pass up.
12:00 caffeine addict: No
12:00 caffeine addict: Saturday?
12:00 Jeon Wonwoo: sure!
12:00 Jeon Wonwoo: I just work until 4
12:00 Jeon Wonwoo: I’m free anytime after that
12:01 Jeon Wonwoo: we can meet at the library
12:01 caffeine addict: Ok
12:01 caffeine addict: See you Saturday
Stuffing her phone into her pocket, she found an empty table in the café and settled in. She put her difficult morning with Jeonghan behind her and started playing angry music to help calm her mind. Sometimes there was nothing more soothing than angsty emo kids screaming in your ear. Gently, she bobbed her head along to the beat while she drank her coffee. Jeonghan, Jihoon, and everything else was completely forgotten. For a singular moment, her mind was blank. No studying, no flashcards, just a girl smiling at a coffee cup with Wonwoo written on it while everything else drifted away.
info: jeon wonwoo/nd!reader, teen, strangers to friends to lovers genre: fluff, romance, slice of life | word ct: 4.5k
warnings: none
summary: for as long as she can remember, she swore by one fact. she didn't need anyone. because needing people meant giving them access to the most vulnerable parts of you, ones that could ruin you. but needing people and wanting them were two different things. author's note: idk if this needs to be said, but i wrote this mc with the intention of portraying someone with audhd. so while some things can seem absolutely ridiculous, a lot of her internal workings come from personal experience.
chapter one
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It was barely sunrise on a cloudy Tuesday in October. In a small studio apartment, a young woman sat hunched over her desk, a plethora of textbooks surrounding her. In one hand she held a cup of coffee that she’d ordered right as she left campus the night before, half full, stone cold, and mostly forgotten. In her other was her trusty mildliner, blue green, meticulously marking her textbooks until they resembled a Jackson Pollock painting. Under her chair, a lazy orange tabby stretched and meowed gently, woken up by an alarm clock that was being ignored entirely.
Well, not exactly. She knew it was going off, she just didn’t care. The screaming monstrosity that had very loud opinions on “appropriate” times to wake every day was her mortal nemesis. One she was completely oblivious to when more pressing matters were at hand. Like her studies, for example. In fact, her grades were so important that she would regularly forgo sleep entirely. For someone who was more coffee than human, waking up before it was necessary was a fool’s errand anyway.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Finally reaching out and turning off her alarm, she made a mental note that she had exactly an hour before she absolutely had to leave. She showered the night before, there were granola bars in her bag, all she really needed was more coffee. Which she could probably do without for another couple of hours if she paced herself. Oh, and to get dressed.
Bzz. Bzz.
Glancing at her phone, she was confused why it was going off at all. When she saw that it was a string of texts from her best friend Seokmin, she realized that she should’ve known better. For as long as she could remember, and probably long before that too, they had a certain ritual to their mornings. He attempts to remind her to do simple normal human things because he knows that she either forgets or actively refuses to do them, and then she ignores him and typically leaves him on read.
Some days she listened.
Today was not that day.
06:31 Seokmin: i kno you already turned off your alarm
06:31 Seokmin: and that you probably didnt sleep one bit
06:31 Seokmin: but put down the damn textbooks already because im not gonna keep fueling your addiction to coffee!!
06:32 Seokmin: go get it yourself!!
06:32 Seokmin: go outside!! smell a flower!! something!!
Looking at the wilted plant sitting on her windowsill, she decided it would be best if she stayed far away from any sort of foliage. For their sake.
Bzz. Bzz.
06:32 Seokmin: IM NOT BEING LITERAL JUST GET READY FOR SCHOOL YOU CRAZY PERSON
Lee Seokmin’s strange innate ability to know exactly what she’s going or thinking at any given moment seemed worrisome to say the least. Like—maybe he spied on her while she slept or implanted an alien microchip into her brain. But sadly, reality was much more boring than that. He wasn’t an evil mastermind; he was just the one person who knew her better than anyone else. Seventeen years of turbulent friendship boiled down to two simple things; he could read her like an open book and simultaneously irritate her to no end.
06:32 ms independent: Just so you know
06:32 ms independent: I’m sweeping my apartment for bugs
06:32 ms independent: Again
While she was definitely joking, some part of her really wanted to do it on principle alone. Whatever he sent her after that fell on deaf ears. She put her phone back on the charger and got back to studying. In his defense, he meant well. That didn’t matter to her because there was nothing she hated more than relying on others in any way shape or form.
People in her life called her Ms Independent for a reason.
By the time her second alarm went off she at least managed to get a toothbrush in her mouth. She was lazily brushing back and forth as her hungry feline companion rubbed against her legs. With flashcards in hand, she managed to juggle reading and feeding the small, domesticated, creature that relied on her for survival. Which she accomplished while still getting ready for school. After months of practice, she managed to turn multitasking into an art form. It wasn’t a very pretty art form, one that included dribbling toothpaste onto the floor while struggling into a pair of jeans, but it was art, nonetheless.
Bzz. Bzz.
Without even looking at the message that popped up on her screen, she sent a very loud and very poignant EAT DIRT to Seokmin in the hopes that he would finally get the hint. If she was going to miss her bus, or forget to eat, or refuse to sleep, she would gladly do so of her own volition. Pestering her about it wasn’t going to change that. If anything, it made her more determined.
When her third and final alarm rolled around, she hadn’t received any more annoying messages from her best friend. She was finally at peace doing what she did best, studying to her heart’s content while completely losing track of time. She was still absentmindedly brushing her teeth in front of the sink, book opened behind the faucet, while her phone buzzed itself onto the floor. For whatever reason, she didn’t notice the loud sound it made when it clattered against the tile or how it sent her cat sprinting from the room.
There was a part of her brain, one that she both adored and despised, that could tune out anything if it was insignificant enough. Unfortunately for her, she barely had any conscious control over this strange ability. Significance was hard for her to predict. It was situationally relative depending on what she was currently doing. Once when she was little, she didn’t hear the smoke detector going off at all because she was engrossed in Super Mario. She completely forgot about the pot of water she left on the stove, and she didn’t even notice it until firefighters were knocking at the door.
For years, her studies were her number one priority. That meant while she had her textbooks open, things like her phone and general wellbeing basically didn’t exist. It wasn’t uncommon for her to lose hours lost in her notes. She almost missed her bus on more than one occasion, if she was being generous, and actually missed it more often than she’d care to admit.
She was about to miss it again because when her brain decided that her phone was worth acknowledging—it was almost too late. If it hadn’t started bouncing off the bathtub rhythmically, she wouldn’t have paid any attention to it. But it was so loud and irritating that she could feel the vein pulsing behind her eye. She went to pick it up, completely ready to send another text to her pest of a best friend when she froze.
It was 7:40.
Shit.
Which wouldn’t have elicited much of a response if it also didn’t happen to be about ten minutes after she was supposed to leave.
SHIT!
Immediately she dropped her toothbrush into the sink and started frantically digging through the pile of clean clothes by her bed. Or—the pile she hoped was clean. Please be clean. She didn’t have any time left to check, she had to chance it. Then she danced and wriggled her way into a pair of jeans, threw on a shirt of questionable cleanliness, quickly decided against socks, and tugged on her flats. Then she stuffed everything she needed for school into her bag, bolted out the door, and somehow managed to snag her keys in the process.
Despite her best efforts, she still missed her bus. But the next one to campus came early, though it took a much more convoluted route to get there, so maybe she still had a chance. To her surprise, at some point in her mad dash out the door she decided to grab the cup of half full, stone cold, and mostly forgotten coffee. It was nice to hold onto something, it gave her some small comfort on an otherwise very stressful bus ride.
By the time she got to campus, she could hear the clock ticking. If she did her math correctly, she could get to class with five seconds to spare. Maybe more if she didn’t get stuck wading through the sea of upperclassmen that constantly festered around the top of the staircase at the north end of the building.
She gripped her comfort coffee tighter.
Here goes nothing.
Sure enough, it was 9 o’clock on the dot and she was three whole steps over the threshold into her Intro to Abnormal Psych class. She was in clear. She made it. For a minute she didn’t think it was possible. In fact, she was rather impressed with herself. Even with the odds stacked against her, she could get her timing down to the second.
Before she could really appreciate her triumph, she felt like something wasn’t quite right. She felt—off. Firstly, the professor wasn’t there, secondly, she was the only person in attendance, and thirdly, the lights were all off. Each observation was extremely strange, considering the time.
Did I freak out over nothing? She wondered. No, no way. My phone definitely said 7:40 before I left and it’s definitely 9:00 right now.
Checking her phone to be sure, she confirmed that she was, in fact, perfectly on time. Then it dawned on her. She was perfectly on time for a class that wasn’t in session for another 24 hours.
Today isn’t Monday. She groaned loudly. It’s Tuesday.
It wasn’t Abnormal Psych day, it was Lit day.
Meaning that she didn’t need to be on campus for another hour.
Which means more time to study. She mused. Score.
And just like that, the last hour and change never happened. It was like her brain simply changed the channel, chalking up her morning to something akin to a bad dream. Apart from some slight annoyance in herself for forgetting what day it was, again, she didn’t dwell on it. Instead, she went down to the café and bought a fresh cup of coffee as a reward for getting to school early in the most roundabout way.
Though, the more she thought about it, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to say goodbye to the half full, stone cold, mostly forgotten coffee that got her through such a stressful morning. Even if she’d already moved past it. She decided to ask the barista who knew her by name to reuse the cup if possible.
“Yeah sure, is it okay if I pour out the old stuff first?” He asked.
No. “That’s fine.”
You’ll be missed, my friend.
She could hear her best friend berating her for trauma bonding with a perishable substance.
Shut up, inner Seokmin. No one asked you anyway.
When she got to her Lit class, still plenty early, she wasn’t surprised by yet another professorless, studentless, and lightless room. It would’ve made a great study room if her lack of sleep hadn’t finally caught up with her. She hadn’t noticed until she was standing there in the dark, but she was exhausted.
Still, she was determined to make the most of her time. She flicked on the light, practically fell into her usual seat near the front of the class, pulled out her flashcards, and started studying.
After getting through her notes a dozen and a half times, she realized that nothing was sinking in. In all fairness, she had been studying for the past 12 hours non-stop. Setting them down in front of her, she sighed. It was official, her sponge was no longer sponging. Turns out even she had her limits. If she had any sense, she would’ve stopped and relaxed for the few minutes she had left to spare.
But people called her Ms Independent for a few reasons.
One of the big ones was because Ms Stubborn doesn’t have the same ring to it.
For 45 long painful minutes she kept trying and trying and trying to retain anything to no avail. An effort in futility, on her part. Before long, students started trickling in, and suddenly her aforementioned best friend (pain in her ass) was standing beside her with a bemused look plastered on his stupid face. With a piping hot cup of tea in his stupid hand. If she wasn’t so dead set on memorizing words she couldn’t even read, she would’ve been very offended by the sight.
“Good morning.” Seokmin interjected in his usual chipper tone, the very one she hated most. “How’re you doing on this fine day?”
Considering she was the embodiment of a night owl; she had a hard time believing that any part of the word morning could be seen as good.
“Need more coffee.” She muttered before taking a swig. “Up all-night studying. Slowly forgetting how to read.”
He chuckled quietly as he crossed his arms. “That’s what lack of sleep will do to you, you coffee addict. You’re not even using complete sentences anymore.”
“Should tell you something.” She clipped if only to make a point.
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that you’re never going to have a healthy sleep schedule. Would you like me to go get you more coffee? Do the caffeine gods require proper tribute?”
Without missing a beat or looking up from her gibberish cards, she thrust her mostly empty cup into his face. “Yes please. Thank you.”
“Hmm, about that.” He said, tapping his chin. “I could’ve sworn that I already tried telling you to leave early today so you could go get coffee yourself. Maybe you should listen to your good buddy Seokmin instead of telling him to eat dirt.”
She narrowed her eyes and withdrew her precious coffee from his dastardly presence.
How dare he speak that way in front of her child.
“I already got myself coffee because I was here an hour early.” Ha.
“You thought it was psych day, didn’t you.” He countered.
He really had to suck the fun out of everything.
“Yes, I did.” She admitted. “Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t psych day?”
As if predicting this, he pulled out his phone and put it in her face.
06:45: dont forget its lit day
06:45: coffee demon
Touche.
“Somedays I don’t know why I even bother.” Seokmin scoffed, setting his backpack down in the seat beside her. “For our entire friendship I’ve tried to look out for you, but you always end up ignoring me. You’ve even bitten me for trying to take away your coffee!”
“Well, that was your first mistake.” She hmphed. “A mother protects her young.”
He laughed humorlessly. “Ah yes, the nature documentary about the coffee gremlin and her old beat-up coffee cup, I think I’ve seen that one.”
Her eyes narrowed more. “Are you implying that I’m a wild animal?”
“I thought that was a given.” He gave her a very knowing look. “At least until you get more coffee in you. So, do you want me to get you some or not? We’re wasting daylight here.”
If her eyes narrowed any more, they’d be shut. “Didn’t we just go over this? You’re trying to trick me, aren’t you?”
“What can I say, I’m feeling generous today.” He smirked. “Besides, you’re obviously not going to go get it yourself while you have flashcards in your hand. You’re going to death grip that poor empty cup until more coffee magically appears before you.”
Eyeing her cup, her sweet child, she scowled. “Well—it seems to happen eventually.”
“Because I always—” He started before dissolving into a frustrated grown. “Alright, I’m not going to argue with you. Not when you’re like this. What do you want? Your usual?”
Ah yes. She smiled with a nod. As much caffeine as they can fit into a 12oz cup.
“You’re going to kill yourself one day with all this coffee you drink.”
“That remains to be seen.”
“I hate you.”
“That’s your decision.”
Raising his hands as if to wring out her neck, which wouldn’t surprise her, Seokmin decided against violence and righted his navy blazer instead. Perhaps to stop himself from getting carried away.
“Fine, fine.” He conceded. “Keep pretending to be the soulless coffee fueled robot you’ve always been. I’m going to be a nice friend and go get you some dirty bean juice to fuel your obvious addiction.”
He turned to leave but quickly turned back.
“And another thing!” He exclaimed. “I don’t know why I keep doing nice things for you because I get absolutely nothing out of this friendship except an empty wallet and tension headaches!”
Putting down her flashcards for a moment, she made a tiny heart with her fingers. “I love you, oppa.”
“No! Stop that! I hate you and that’s not fair!” He shouted, backing away from her. “You’re so—ugh! I hate your stupid hearts and—agh! I’m getting you coffee! And I hate myself for constantly falling for your tricks you coffee demon!”
With that exceptionally loud outburst, one that surely got the attention of everyone currently in class except the guy who was asleep, Seokmin was gone.
Shaking her head at her excessively bombastic best friend, she glanced down at her notes and decided, finally, that she had studied enough. Nothing she read made any sense, and she felt like her brain was about to burst like a water balloon. It was probably best that she stopped thinking for a minute. Literature was her least favorite class anyway.
“Alright everyone, we’re going to get started a little early today.” Her professor, Mr Yoon, exclaimed as he walked into the classroom. “You’ll need the rest of class to work on the new assignment.”
Checking her phone, there was about ten whole minutes left until the lecture was supposed to begin.
09:51 ms independent: Yoon is starting class already
09:51 ms independent: Just get me a regular coffee
09:52 Seokmin: yea i ran into him in the hallway
09:52 Seokmin: i'll be back in a min
“Since we’re starting the western unit,” Yoon began, handing out packets to tables as he passed, “I figured it would be best for everyone to pair up and pick a western classic to read.”
Pair up with someone else? She scoffed. Fat chance of that.
“Find something you’d like to read, instead of me just forcing you to struggle through archaic books you’d hate.” He continued. “For the assignment, you’re going to write a paper detailing how the author or the content had an impact on the world. Could be the literary world, the literal world, or whatever world you see fit. As long as your argument is strong enough, you could write about The Hungry Caterpillar for all I care.”
If there was one thing she hated more than relying on others, it was relying on them to get her a decent grade. People were unsteady, unpredictable, and unending. And academia was hopelessly riddled with group assignments and collaborative PowerPoints. It made no sense to her, that’s why she actively refused. She would do the whole thing and lie about the others’ participation.
Teachers always had their reasons, although she thought they were all stupid and pointless. It was some nonsense about working well with others, considering different opinions, understanding problems from other angles, and it sounded like tedious bullshit to her. If she was perfectly capable of getting everything done herself, why wouldn’t she? The only person in her life she wanted to rely on for anything, especially something as important as a grade, was herself.
“Go ahead, choose your partners.” Mr Yoon instructed. “Once you’ve paired up and decided on a book, come up and fill out this clipboard. Make sure you pick wisely; this project is worth 20% of your grade and switching halfway through wouldn’t be in your best interests.”
She didn’t know what book she wanted to read, she really didn’t see the point to literature, but she had already selected her partner. It was Seokmin. It was always Seokmin when he was available. Namely because he would gladly let her do all the work without any fuss. He knew that he would get a fantastic grade and she wouldn’t lose her mind pretending to play along with insufferable professors.
Like the one standing before her.
“You.” Mr Yoon said very pointedly, pointing a very pointed finger at her. “Are not allowed to pair up with Mr Lee again. Find someone new, make a friend, because Mr Lee needs to earn his own grade this time.”
What did he just say? She swallowed nervously, a cold sweat breaking out over her brow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, we’ve always—”
“You always do all the work, and he always gets a free A.” He interrupted. “I’m not an idiot, despite your insistence. It’s about time you interacted with the rest of the world, anyway.”
As Mr Yoon walked away, she frantically pulled out her phone and started texting Seokmin.
09:54 ms independent: SEOKMIN
09:54 ms independent: CODE RED
09:54 ms independent: GROUP PROJECT
09:54 ms independent: FORGET THE COFFEE
09:54 ms independent: ABORT MISSION
09:54 Seokmin: oh shit
09:55 Seokmin: this must b serious
09:55 Seokmin: im on my way!!
While she sat there, anxiety tightening in her stomach, she contemplated her options.
I could drop out. She thought first, biting the pad of her thumb. I’m already taking 21 credits, surely it wouldn’t get in the way of graduating.
It probably wouldn’t, but the mere idea of having the read another stupid book assigned by stupid Yoon Jeonghan made her want to set all his books on fire. She would rather drink decaf for the rest of her life than do it all over again. Plus, if she withdrew now, she’d probably be without Seokmin next time around and she would lose one of her only safety nets. Her comfort coffee cup wasn’t going to last that long.
Alternatively, she could feign illness. Or claim that she was so stressed out that she had to go completely remote for the rest of the semester. That way she could pretend to interact with other people and secretly do the project all by herself. But that sort of duplicity would require going to the doctor, weeks of acting the part, calls with her parents, emailing the school—she didn’t like the sound of that much either.
Her scheming was momentarily interrupted when Seokmin crashed into the seat beside her.
“Okay, talk to me.” He said breathlessly. “What’s happening exactly?”
“There’s a group project.” She muttered. “We can’t be partners.”
His eyes widened in fear, shock, and any other emotions that would cause one’s eyes to widen. “Wait—run that by me one more time. We can’t be partners. Can’t? As in the contraction of can and not?”
“That’s right, Mr Lee, I’m so glad you still understand how contractions work at your old age.” Mr Yoon chimed in from across the room. “It’s time for you to do your own work for a change. Ms Do-It-Herself isn’t going to save you this time.”
She inhaled deeply to stop herself from screaming.
“Seokmin,” she started with a shaky voice, “what are we going to do? I don’t do people. I barely do you.”
“I’m too distraught to even recognize that dirty joke you just made.” He leveled with her. “I haven’t been paying attention all year because you just wrote the book reports for me! I think I’ve forgotten how to write. Hell, I think I forgot how to read!”
“We’re screwed.” She exclaimed. “We’re so fucking screwed.”
Sighing loud enough to be heard across the room, Mr Yoon sauntered back over to their table and slammed two books down in front of them. “You’re both being unreasonably dramatic about this situation, even for you guys. This isn’t the end of the world; you don’t see anyone else in crisis, do you? I even took the liberty of giving you some marvelous book ideas to choose from. As for your partners, would you look at that! I’ve already taken care of that too! Aren’t I just the sweetest?”
Is this hell?
“Mr Lee,” he continued, “you’ll be partnered with Mr Boo who won’t be in class all week. Which means you’re going to start working without anyone else to help you. And little Ms Dramatic, you’re going to work with Mr Jeon because despite your prolonged temper tantrum and general unruly defiance, he hasn’t even stirred from his regularly scheduled morning nap. You’ll have to make a real concerted effort to keep his attention and interact with him. Understood?”
This is officially hell. She decided. I’ve been cast directly into hell. Right into the devil’s sweaty armpit of despair.
When she picked Yoon Jeonghan’s class at the beginning of the semester, someone who happened to be good friends with her brother and Seokmin’s sister, she thought he would be more understanding. So far, he was being an incorrigible, giant, pain in her ass. He was just another person butting into her life for her sake, or whatever they thought her sake looked like. Which never seemed to take her opinion into account.
That shit really pissed her off. She hated people saying and doing things on her behalf. So, she was already forming a plan to end him.
Vengeance will be mine you dickwad.
“Go on, hop to it.” Jeonghan instructed, motioning towards a particularly sleepy looking individual at the back of the class. “There’s no point in plotting my demise. It’s not going to save you anyway.”
Narrowing her eyes at him, her new mortal nemesis, she stood. “Fine. But I know where you live. I know where you sleep, where you eat, where you park. You better keep one eye open tonight. And tomorrow night. And maybe even the night after that. Actually—make that every day for the rest of your miserable life. Because I’m going to strike when you least expect it. The anticipation will eat you alive, mark my words.”
He rolled his eyes, completely unfazed. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before. Get to work.”
With one last desperate glance shared with Seokmin, I’ll miss you comrade, she grabbed her bag and begrudgingly accepted her fate. Her new partner, Mr Jeon, whoever he was, was waiting very patiently for her. Which she should’ve expected, considering that people had to be awake to actually be impatient. At least she had that in her back pocket since nothing else was going her way today.
@diamondyjh thanks for the inspiration bby
tw: fire, descriptions of a city ravaged by fire, mentions of murder
setting + characters based on the manhwa your eternal lies
the day of her execution was set.
when the judge slammed the gavel, she didn’t even flinch. fifteen days, three hours, and 56 minutes after she killed her husband, she was to be hanged for her crimes. a crime for which there was no evidence, no motive, no proof. she had no reason to kill him, but the courts didn’t care. he was a man of power; she was a woman of nothing. they condemned her to death the moment they found her sobbing over his body; terrified of what his death meant for her. they gave her two more weeks to live as if it were a kindness.
she didn’t even bother to mourn a life that was stolen from her.
it was never hers to begin with.
as the days passed, each dragging into the next, no one came to visit. there was no one left in the world that cared about her. she was an orphan, she had no friends left, the only person she had in her life was the man she allegedly killed in cold blood. her last moments in this world would be quiet and lonely, and that was fine. for two weeks—she could finally breathe.
the night before her execution, there were sirens. air raids, most likely. she was used to those; the war had been going on for so long she could hardly remember life prior to it. she used to stay up all night, trembling in fear, back when she didn’t know that the real monster slept in her bed. pulling the tattered blanket over her head, she tried to get some sleep. but the sirens never stopped.
neither did the bombs.
the night before she was to be hanged, fire descended upon the city, and quickly reduced everything she’d ever known to ash.
she watched the fire burn for hours from the relative safety of her cell. distraught citizens screamed, newly orphaned children cried, and the sky turned blood red from the blaze. it was a horrific scene. still, no one came to get her. no one cared for the woman who was destined to die. all she could do was sit there and wait. wait for everything to finally come to an end. whether she died from starvation or the rope, did it really matter?
finally, a shell made contact with the prison, and the upper floors started crumbling away. whoever else was trapped in there with her didn’t make it, their desperate pleas for rescue fell on deaf ears. they burned up just like everyone else out in the streets. those who didn’t want to face the fire simply leapt to their deaths. she could hardly blame them, if she had the choice, she could imagine herself doing the same.
by the time the imperial army swooped in, it was too late. they shot down the enemy planes and did their best to quench the flames. but there was no one left to save. she was the only one left, and she wasn’t anyone worth saving. the walls of her cell had cracked from the bombings, loose cobble fell to the floor. she could smell the putrid stench of burning flesh more distinctly. if she really wanted to—she could run away from everything. it was her only chance.
hiking up her gown, she climbed through the biggest opening she could find, and made a dash for the woods. once she made the tree line, she turned back to the still burning city and watched the planes flying overhead.
“one day, I’ll come back and take you far away from here.” a handsome young aspiring imperial pilot promised her a long time ago.
“thank you, jeon wonwoo.” she smiled, not knowing if he was even up there. “but it’s time I saved myself.”
also y’all have got to start interacting with the fics you consume via commenting, both on and off tumblr. an empty reblog, or a reblog with nothing other than organizational tags…. that means nothing to your fic writer
As Wonwoo got closer, she noticed that he was out of breath. Which was weird. She knew that he worked out, she’d definitely seen some excellent muscle tone peeking out from the hemline of his shirt a time or two—cough—he definitely mentioned that he frequented the gym in his spare time.
Honestly be pretentious as fuck about the stuff you create. Do a press release for your fanfic updates. Do a Q&A about your webcomic. Make fake merch designs for your OCs. Commission "official" book covers. Very few of us will ever get to a stage where something we've created Makes It Big but even if you have an audience of 5 people plus a shoelace fucking indulge yourself and pretend!! It's the only way to live!!
