blog?

more trivial stuff than stuff posted on minhph.com

[minhph]

Hey tumblr, it’s been a while ! (but for a good reason lol,) Because i kinda have been just eating the same old flavors i have already posted on here, and you know I love them so much I didn’t really want to explore anything else. Anyways, I tried out the new Häagen-dazs summer lemon & blueberry sorbet recently and it kinda confirmed my penchant to stick with my favorites: this is not a favorite at all. Tasted very generic, like a Baskin-Robbins Wild sherbet or sth like that.

[minhph]

Broken screen, Extended Warranty, and the Value of a Phone

I woke up today with the worst news of the day already: my phone glass screen was cracked. The phone that I just bought 2 months ago. I think I dropped it when I got out of the car last night back home. It was cracked at the top right where part of the Dynamic Island is, so maybe this is not the end of the world. Thankfully the front camera works normally, so it’s only an aesthetic issue which will drop the value of the phone if I sell it. I don’t think I will. I have never sold one, and for my past phone I used it until death. I will certainly exhaust this phone for six years at least, and so I know now what I need to do for my next one. Anyways. Obviously I would notice it every single time I look at my phone, but it was not a so critical area that I would peer at it with regret why I have not bought an extended warranty plan (Apple Care) to replace it. Before picking up the phone I was tempted all the time, but eventually settled without. I thought I could be careful enough this time. Turned out I was not. Insurance is all about psychology, mind you. Now that it was past two weeks since the eligibility window, I wish I could turn back in time and purchase it for only $10 a month so I would not have to pay $300 out of pocket to do so right now. Eh. It’s too late now. The thing is, if I have not broken it I would have never chewed over this matter. I would not worry about protecting my phone better. I just did not expect it to happen so soon, and knowing how careless I am, I should definitely have bought it. I bring the phone with me everywhere, so dropping it is bound to happen at some point. The probability was probably strong enough to justify buying one without even considering other random issues that could happen with the device itself (namely any hardware parts). I suffered from probability neglect and I cheaped out on the warranty. I mean, I’m paying for an extended warranty on this very MacBook that I’m typing this out on right now and I have not even used it for anything! It was costly when I first bought it, so I bit the bullet and did it. Five years past that and it’s not the case anymore. I told myself I will cancel it once I replace the laptop’s battery, because after that point, if any hardware issues randomly pop up to it, it was bound to happen. I wanted to make this purchase worth at least because if I have paid over $400 at this point for the warranty alone, I deserve a free battery replacement and I will not stop until I have it. Until then I will keep paying $10 a month, I guess.

Now that the extended warranty is out of the window, I was so tempted at first to replace the screen for $349 just so I can get over the instant terrible feeling I look at it now. Three years from now when I look at it I may laugh at myself right now, because I will be so used to it looking like that, but for now I am struggling to get adjusted to having another of my device having imperfections. However, is $349 worth it to get a perfect screen only for the phone to likely have another damage in the future, even with the screen protector applied? I’m still on installments to pay for the device itself; in fact, this amount would be more than triple the payments I have made so far. Even the phone is more than double the price to fix it, so there’s no way it’s worth it. Oftentimes the trade-in value five years from now is not worthy enough to guarantee the hassle of keeping one’s phone in pristine condition. No fat chance. So, now I only have myself to blame, swallow the regret, and live with it. It’s not the end of the world. I know what to do for my next phone now — to buy a screen protector, despite how ugly it’s going to make the viewing experience. Just like how a case would hide all the beauty of the phone design itself as it protects the phone from dents, a screen protector will significantly minimize the chance of a cracked screen, which is worse because one looks at the screen way more than the body.

So that happened. With that being said, it was not like I never admitted my carelessness. For my iPhone 11 I broke it beyond repair (cracked glass screen, cracked back glass, dents, damaged panel with touch sensitivity tapped out) because I used it naked for a long period of time. I only bought a case until it was too late, and those screen protectors I had on it somehow still managed to break the glass underneath. Therefore at least for this new phone I bought a case. Apparently the silicone case did not project enough to cover the edge of the screen when I dropped it, and ended up with me frantically surfing eBay to get a screen protector before another accident occurs and worsen the situation. On the bright side, the broken screen also broke my constant over-the-top attentiveness to the device itself. I mean, it’s only a phone. It is meant to be used, and so, as long as it works, I should not have to constantly think to great lengths about how to prevent the phone from scratching and cracking. That’s nuts. At least I can be less nutty about something now.

[minhph]

saw someone made a ranking on taylor's albums so i felt impelled to do one too :)))) i'm prob one of the very few ones who do not rank folklore as high i guess.

made in canva (editing 1 min, uploading photos 2 mins lol).

explanation:

red (tv)

her magnum opus forever i fear -- seriously with my taste, her onetwothree punch of thee holy trinity state of grace - red - treacherous will never be topped. plus all too well and 22 and begin again and the last time. the tv is pretty good too, with the 10min version, the very first night, forever winter, better man. only downsides are run and babe but every album of hers has flaws so whatever, but seriously the highs in this album are just exquisite.

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2.1. midnights

lavender haze, maroon, anti-hero is as closely perfect as red tv first three tracks. i love midnight rain. bejeweled grew on me quickly, and how could i forget labyrinth and yoyok. i do not relate to the great war, bigger than the whole sky, and wouldve couldve shouldve as much but you're losing me and dear reader are beautiful.

2.2. the tortured poets department (+ anthology)

fortnight is top five lead singles for me. fresh out the slammer is underrated af and i love love guilty as sin and smallest man who ever lived. the first few tracks anthology contain some of the best songwriting of hers, like the self-written black dog and cosocom. i don't really like broken heart (kinda aged), ty aimee (um the lyrics) and prophecy (it just doesn't sound smooth to my ears idk). with 31 tracks, it definitely guarantees to contain more good tracks than her other albums lol.

2.3. 1989 tv

i love how she went out with very full pop production for the original 1989 (and less so with the tv, but still good). as a whole, the album doesn't have very strong lyrics that left me with the feels. it definitely works if you like dancing though! style is in my top 3 forever i fear, and i love hygtg and iwyw and clean and slut! and is it over now?. like showgirl, it's listenable through and through. i guess the weakest ones in this album are new york, bad blood, and say dont go.

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3.1. reputation

rep (and later showgirl) definitely suffered due to the short lengths. rep is overall good but it's just short and therefore not really outstanding enough. i love taylor when she writes a lot lol ig. some outstanding tracks are so it goes..., dress, and goddamn call it what you want. the production lowkey aged for me too, like i did something bad and ready for it for example. tiwwchnt is definitely a song!

3.2. speak now (tv)

it's a very good album but i don't really dig country that much ig. still, back to december is still safely within my top 3 taylor song ever. last kiss is tear jerking fr fr. enchanted was lovely. mine and ours are still the most genius pair of opener-closer she had ever done. however, the vault was not as strong. i completely forgot what emma sounded like. castles crumbling was forgettable. i can see you lowkey aged. foolish one and timeless are so good though.

3.3. showgirl

idk really. i hated how people and swifties trashed on showgirl sm. i know the production is a lil generic but i my opinion it's still a listenable, tight album. what's good about it is it's wholly listenable like no track is not outright unlistenable imo. i mean, even eldest daughter has a killer bridge that salvaged the song (or at least i'm convinced so). cancelled! was ok people!

3.4. evermore

her most underrated album for sure. gold rush and tolerate it are the black sheeps of her discography i fear. tis the damn season is like a really warm hug, and cowboy like me deserves to be shouted out by travis. title track is beautiful. the bonus tracks are fine too. i just wasn't really into dorothea and no body no crime. maybe willow too, idk.

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4.1. folklore

i know i know i know i will be cancelled for this, but i don't really relate to folklore as much (like i rarely listen to the album yk), even when i am a fairly depressed person. highlights in this album have to be exile, trying, and mirrorball. it's just that i don't think any of these songs are that outstanding (prob back in 2020, but definitely not now). i don't get mad woman and illicit affairs and betty and the lakes much. very good lyrics in here for sure.

4.2. lover

highs and not-so-highs in this one, enough for the line separating them to become visible, everyone. cruel summer, false god, i think he knows, lover, and daylight on one side. yntcd, the archer, soon you'll get better, nice to have a friend, and forget that you existed on the other hand. you figure which one is which. i actually dig me! though.

4.3. self-titled/debut

i admit i haven't even finished listening to this album (which i will definitely if the tv comes out as swifties speculate). i love a lot of these tracks though, like tim mcgraw and teardrops and our song (she surely picked the strongest tracks as the singles!). mary's song was on repeat at one point in my life.

4.4. fearless (tv)

again the case when she almost perfectly chose the singles for the album. title track is flawless. love story and ybwm are classics. white horse deserves its track 5 title (prob her best track 5 after atw imo). for the album tracks, i like hey stephen and breathe. forever and always stucked in my head at some point in my teenage years. fairytale is lovely. i just did not dig the vault that much. bye bye baby and we were happy was lowkey chops. superstar was not very memorable. change was ok.

[minhph]

Professional Development Strategies: Week 3 Discussion Post

I watched Rocha's video "The First Impression Hoax" and I learned a great deal from it. We all know (and probably were taught) that stereotypes are bad and first impressions and stereotypes go hand in hand together and we are more than just our first impressions and what other people perceive, but it's affirming to hear it out loud and her demonstration of her friends' first and current impressions on her demonstrated it. While that is true, as social beings humans are naturally bound to feel belong to social groups, hence the need to feel fit in, whether at work, school, with parents, or new friends and social outings.

Therefore while first impressions are not all that matter, I understand why people want to strive to give positive ones if they can: dressing professionally at first interviews, hiding tattoos at work, being classy, etc. When Chamorro-Premuzic wrote "We must remember that our employees, colleagues, and bosses have no real incentive to work with our 'real' self," I completely agree. We show different layers and facets of ourselves to different groups of people, and it inherently works because we interact with them on various degrees and frequencies, and there is no way that one should feel safe about baring their vulnerabilities to everyone they've ever met, like the tattoos and the success stories and current difficulties. 

It also means that these impressions may induce people into putting people in "boxes." I feel like that sometimes because I'm usually a quiet person. It doesn't help that it's just my nature, like Rocha said, but of course I'm more than just being a quiet person. At work, there is often no opportunity or incentive to show it unless one comes. If I'm mingling with people and engage in small talks, sure, but I also need to juggle being friendly and approachable with managing my professionalism and not overstepping boundaries. It's always good to be intentional in most interactions and stay authentic to yourselves, and honestly I'm still figuring out how to do that. I believe it's also about managing my fears and engage in more education and lived experience on socializing and communicating with people.

[minhph]

Bored in class, a nothing burger of a piece of writing that goes nowhere.

When I had the burst of inspiration to type up this “piece of work,” I just finished a lecture. I was so bored that I could barely focus on anything. I glanced through the class and I felt like half of the class was in the same situation as I did – got stuck in this classroom with nothing to do and pretend to find something to do such as turning their phone on and off and mindlessly scrolling their Instagram. Is this just the lack of attention span that these students have that they have zoned out and had to find some other amusing things to kill time, or is it because of the lecture itself? I don’t know how it was before, but before I go on and on spamming nonsense about this topic I have to get it out of my head and say that this lack of attention partially stems from the rise of short-form videos. It does detrimental things to the human brain – “thanks” to TikTok and its rivals’ similar products. Again, I’m not saying that it is the sole proprietor, but I believe it is a big factor. Consuming this type of content in the long term reduces one’s attention span, and unfortunately I am becoming aware of it. Mobile phone short video use negatively impacts attention functions: an EEG study - PMC . I don’t even use TikTok – but unfortunately all these big tech companies keep pushing it that avoiding it seems impossible unless I delete all of my presence on the Internet – and I wonder how young adults nowadays can even remotely “lock in” or concentrate on something for more than five minutes. Everybody claims that they have ADHD and I bet half of these cases are self-diagnoses from their short attention spans to everything. I myself have never self-diagnosed, but I am for sure confident that I have a terrible attention span. 

Now that I get short-form videos out of the way, I have to admit that it may not be the short attention span that is the culprit, but probably because I’m just not interested at all in any of these lectures. If there is one thing I absolutely detest about school, it is attending mandatory lectures. There is a possibility that these topics just do not pique my interest at all. The first two classes I have in the day are business communications and business ethics. Both are necessary areas to discuss, I guess, but I do not have an ounce of care in my body to drag my body to these classes at eight and nine in the morning and sit in my confined seat listening to the professors droning on and on about things that my common sense already make up what is right and what is wrong. Yes, we should consider appropriate language and attire in business settings. Yes, fraud is bad. No, stuttering is not good and one needs to address something about it if he wants to deliver a good presentation to his manager. And no, I haven’t thoroughly read through the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strike to comment anything about it but I know for a fact that AI in creative fields should not be an option. Of course others’ common sense and opinion will go against me (after all, the fact that it was considered in the first place is telling) and that’s why attending these lectures are crucial in educating oneself on these matters. But, the point that I’m trying to make here is, all these lectures that I have to attend, I find no joy in doing it whatsoever. Others in the class can participate for all I care, but I’m so fed up with all of this nonsense that I’m wasting my time doing it. I have taken so many classes and wasted my parents’ precious money to not be able to skip these classes. 

But I can’t avoid them, because they are the type of lectures that, you know, the ones that the professors would check roll-call attendance at the end of the sessions, and somehow it makes up 30% of overall grade. I don’t know, man, I feel like my patience is slipping by the minute every time I have to listen to some random topics that I swear I could just read a book chapter or skim through some presentation slides in one tenth of the time to fully grasp the whole idea. Of course this is not the lecturer’s fault: after all, professors have to organize lectures because class time has to be used for something. However due to the one-sided grudge I have against them, I find no joy in doing anything associated with them – participation (raising hands to contribute to the conversation), team discussion (divide in groups to talk about something that you have absolutely no care about) – and pretending that you are focusing in classes just sucks in general. 

SO, my attention span just sucks because I’m just not interested in this content at all. I could literally spend hours just tirelessly working through my job because I’m getting something out of it (getting paid) or driving home (because you HAVE TO give it attention), so it definitely has nothing to do with ADHD. Tell me why I’m sitting here typing up this rant instead of working through my discussion assignment (you know, the one where you have to post a comment and reply to others). Somebody has to admit that nobody gives a beep about what others have to say – of course I agree with you because this is what you have found on Google and paraphrased and I probably did the same thing too. You probably type this comment out for the sake of completing the assignment and checking all the boxes of the questions and not really putting a damn thought on the actual content itself. If this is the way to force the lessons down my throat then I understand it. It is effective. Yet it is draining.

Sometimes I wonder if I didn’t have to take all these “boring” mandatory core courses (emphasis on “boring”), my life would really change for the better. Probably yes, because at least I would be saving on some serious tuition. On the flipside, these courses are inherently important. Someone has to stand out and teach these kids how to be professional, because not every firm takes the chance to hire somebody for them to realize who they hired is a messy person who does not know how to handle a conversation at work, or an unethical person whose reason to work is just money money money. It just sucks that no matter how engaging the lectures are or how much lecturers try to incorporate students into [train of thought ended]...

9/13/2025

[minhph]

Rationalization

Today my supervisor told me that I would get laid off due to my performance. Of course, it sucks because I did not think it would happen. It did happen, though, and what’s worse is that they’re hiring people to replace me (I saw the posting on Handshake), which means that the reason for my layoff is because of my performance and not because of some external force beyond my control, like budget issues. All that time in the office after the news, I looked at them, and all I felt was fury and disgust, and I barely could conceal my emotions bubbling underneath the cracking surface. I told my two co-workers that shift how it went because I could not contain it anymore. Legitimately an hour after that, all I did was try to make sense of what’s happening and refuse to give in to sadness and disappointment. It worked somewhat, because as much as I did try to navigate my anger and negativity toward the supervisors for daring to fire me, the truth is, it’s my fault. I lack behind on my communication (mainly it, I assume?), and so it makes perfect sense that to some people that kind of mistake is unforgivable for a role like that. I’ve been trying to make it make sense when I did cross the line, and the truth is, I still have no clue. If I went back, I could have done something different to prevent it from happening, but the fact is, I can’t. I can’t do that, and as much as I want to apologize for not living up to their expectations, it’s irreversible. I’ll be kicked out of the door, and it’s all because of me.

Of course, I did not admit to my fault right away. Before that final step of acceptance, I went through the three stages of grief, except bargaining because I am never the one to beg. Denial because I could not believe it was because of my performance. Anger because I did feel fury. Depression was a little bit too dramatic, but yes, I did feel ashamed. All of these thoughts are just me rationalizing, a well-oiled psychological defense mechanism that I’ve been practicing since forever. The correct definition of rationalization in psychological terms is “a psychological defense mechanism in which a person justifies or explains an uncomfortable feeling or behavior with a seemingly logical reason, rather than acknowledging the true, often more distressing, reason behind it.” I’ve applied it to all the bad things that have happened to me, and this time it’s not out of the ordinary. The second thought that popped up in my mind after the news was “I don’t even like this job anyway.” A classic rational defense mechanism, straight out of the books. Just me trying to protect my ego, being bruised so many times when emotions can no longer catch up with the whirlwind that is going on and on inside my head. Is it because of my inherent disillusionment with this job shortly after I joined the team that I slacked behind, or is it something more? Another thought was “at least they told me in person, straight to my face and not through an email.” Or, “I wonder how many others they have fired?” Or, “so now this is what it feels like to be laid off.” Just different facets of the same mechanism to protect my ego from further beatings, and my my my, it still stings. I deal with enough odd jobs that I know how hard it is to get one and get fired from it, so the sting this time feels extra painful.

I made it home perfectly enough to write down these words. This rant is a result of my rationalization. It’s not just in terms of the reasons I blame others on this eventful day, but also what I am going to do next. Is it the fear of joblessness that scares the hell out of me, or the fact that I feel super embarrassed and my ego took such a blow that for the first time in a very long while, I bear this much heavy feeling of being a disappointment to someone? This time, not just myself, but to some other external people that I happen to know for sure.

Minh, 11/26

[minhph]

log out of the internet and touch some grass

maybe i should do this more often idk lol parasocialism hit me hard recently, need some time to unwind and write about it…

[minhph]

been so swamped this past week because I was traveling and driving non-stop!! definitely a good thing because i needed to break out of this monotony and did something else and this couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! i’m still broke af but at least for now i have some motivation to do some work … :3

[minhph]

Thirsty by Tinashe on Apple Music

Song · 2024 · Duration 3:40

goddamn this song makes me go feral every single time (happy late anniversary to Quantum Baby…)

[thememedaddy]

[minhph]

subway surfers tease

[minhph]

HIV testing today

Had a bad fever, coughing, and sore throat last week so i decided to go for an HiV RNA test… Haven’t tested for COVID or flu/cold but if HIV is out of the picture I’ll take anything. Damn this anxiety really kicks my ass. It never dawned on me how real this anxiety could be because I willingly trusted my sexual partners on their self-reported status and never doubted that they would do anything (even lying) in the heat of the moment until now. It’s not their fault, in some cases, if they haven’t found out yet. The virus is a sneaky one. Therefore, I’m praying it turns out negative I really do. It scares me to think how everything will change if the other scenario happens, and I don’t want to think about it now. 7hours to go until the lab. I should get some sleep, but I couldn’t.

I know for sure that I can live with it if it happens, but my family would freak tf out. Stigma is still a big thing for this, and they’ll know immediately what is the cause for this because what? I never share needles with anyone, so what’s the other only possible reason? Yeah, you get it. I have a faint idea who could be the one to transmit, but well we’ll see.

The only thing that comforts me right now is that I’m testing early and can be totally prepared if anything happens. I swear to god after this I’d only use condoms forever forever forever no more bareback bullshit. And yes I’ll get on PrEP I will I will. I just never wanted to because I thought I didn’t have sex that much and the only time I pricked my blood for the test to get on with it I almost fainted so I stopped. But I know it now. I understand why, and I’m not gonna risk my health with a meaningless hookup anymore. I seriously sound frantic; in fact, I feel like I could go insane any moment now.

So I’m praying, although I rarely do. Just for this one time in my precious little life, I pray the test is negative. Please for the love of all celestial deities…

[minhph]

Tillamook Waffle Cone Swirl Ice Cream

Good chunks of chocolate coated waffle bits and barely-there caramel swirl but definitely more interesting than the last flavor I tried (brownie batter I’m still seething at you!). Lovely combination, reminded me of the waffle cone flavor of häagen-dazs but of course not with the choco flavor filling half the tub.

[minhph]

Tillamook Brownie Batter Ice cream

Literally just chocolate ice cream with barely any brownie bits in there. Disappointed but not surprised. You can see in the second image lol the evidence is so clear. Still very strong chocolate flavor which is good, not too sweet.

[minhph]

Recently read bullshit jobs: a theory by David Graeber and all I kept thinking about was how exploited we (as a workforce in a post capitalist world) are to exist in the world that we do. As machinery improvements and automation sped up production and allowed (or pushed) people to move into the service and information sector, bullshit jobs (jobs that has no real meaningful impact on society) appeared as a result of the economy endeavoring to fill up the widely expanding employment pool. The promotion of college education also moved everyone to pursue office and white collar jobs that exacerbate the crisis, because you see, as someone who is currently doing a blue collar job and used to do some white collar jobs/projects back then, I see the two sides of the coin as what they are. I see now why bullshit jobs are a thing and why I felt the way that was, but I also agree why people want to move up the ladder and leave the industrial sector. We joke that we all hate our jobs, and partially it is because nobody wants to repeat some three or four tasks for years. The fulfilling, ideal job that one wants may truly never exist, even for those who are at the top of the food chain who only go to work because they are either power hungry or have bills to pay and mouths to feed.

I think about the Marxist idea of capitalism where workers are alienated from their work, and they are treated as commodities that are paid by capitalists to be “used” and exploited. This criticism rings true somehow, yet we never know how a true socialist world would resolve this mindset — at least not how the USSR acted in which it demanded everyone got a job and one “needed to talk to ten people to buy a bread.” As money drives the economy and people’s lives, we are fettered to the cycle of a post-capitalism world where the hustle culture drives us to do whatever it takes to get money, even if we have to partake in bullshit jobs that serves no real substance and purpose. Funny thing is, Graeber also discussed how often meaningful, fulfilling jobs (like teaching, social service, and caring jobs) are often not paid as well and gruesomely draining that these fields’ state of workforce crisis is often explicable.

With the drive of AI and machine learning technologies, even more jobs will be eliminated, leaving more people to be desperate and out of the workforce. Will the bullshit jobs epidemic get worse?

[minhph]

I don’t see anyone mention this so far, but personally one of the more overlooked tariff/recession indicator is the reduction of grocery promotions and sales. I used to get so many deals and great value out of the weekly ads in ACME/Safeway/Albertson’s but now the sales are barely worth it and some of the items I usually buy don’t go on sale as frequently as they used to. And those that do are more likely because of seasonal logistical reasons (like inventory clearance or abundance of supply). I always strive for around 50% savings every time I go to ACME (and that’s often just for ice cream there, especially Tillamook when they went on heavy sale and aside from Target I did not know where else to get them).

Take a look of this week’s sales on ACME: the majority of this week’s big sales are seasonal produce like strawberries and cherries. Shrimp savings were minimal at best, like that was barely around $5 out of $19-25 off??? It’s not that heavily marked-off enough to land on the first page IMO. The bacon was an exception, but for processed food I am not surprised. Most of them always go on sale heavily… I’m talking about like real food, not cereals or soft drinks that always go on sale because the manufacturers reap so much profit over them.

I don’t know maybe it’s just me? It also comes to my notice that they pushed for more “savings as you buy more” kind of promotion, like collecting points for rewards and save X as you spend minimum Y kind of thing. Recently Walmart announced that they were going to raise prices due to tariffs, and Amazon used to propose showing tariff charges in their products. You can’t really reap great deals easily anymore, and I know encourage spending is a capitalist’s thing, but damn can we have anything anymore?

[minhph]

Häagen-dazs Caramel Cone Ice Cream

Interesting flavor… the caramel was as good as always (sweet and full of flavor, like dulce de leche kinda?) but the cone bits was underwhelming. Like, we have chocolate chunks, sure, there were plenty of them, but the “bread” cones bit was barely there or maybe they were too chocolate-coated to discern. This one did not impress me. Other flavors are better I guess!

[thememedaddy]