sappy

[minscnmi]

sjsungjaes‌:

sungjae’s mind flashes and hums with memories that he’d pushed far down when they’d broken up. happy memories. never sad. not until this. he takes his part of the blame, he wished he’d tried not to fall in love with her. and got out when he had the chance, yet here he is and he just… . is still as in love as the first time he realised. he looks down, brown orbs trained on the ground and he nods his head. “ yeah… too long. “ he says and he feels guilty when he sees her physically step back from him and he bites his lip. the shitty feeling washing over him and he closes his eyes breathing and trying to calm himself down for a few seconds before he looks at her again. “ don’t be. “ he says in retaliation. “ what is there to be sorry for ? as long as you’re happy. “ he gives that slight bow of his head out of nothing more than politeness. she was above him and just just because they were in the US didn’t mean that he didn’t respect those older and above. he knows, that sunny will know he’s lying. “ yeah. “ he looks away, and still at anything but her because he can’t do it because if he does he’ll be on his knees and begging her to be with him. because he’s that in love with her, he’d let it all go. just one word from her and she’d have him. she still has him. the dreaded words he thought he’d hear are simply i’ve been okay. better than him then he guessed. “ good… i’m glad to hear it. as long as you’re okay. “ he said again and this time he finally looks at her, his eyes full of emotions that he’s not even sure he can know what they are. as subtle as sungjae had tried to be she’d clearly seen him, the blush creeping up her pale skin were a big indicator and he looked down feeling a little ashamed. he should be over this by now shouldn’t he ? he likes seeing the way a simple look affects her yet at the same time… he doesn’t. she’s probably embarrassed for him, that he could even still look at her like that when she didn’t feel the same. “ yeah well i’d say so… way past it. but no it’s up to you. “ he looks back at her again. “ the formalities are simply up to you. “ he shrugs his shoulders and he keeps his gaze focused on her. i love you and i fucking miss you. it runs through his mind and is on the tip of his tongue but he can’t say it. 

he didn’t know what to do, he wants to talk to her. to listen to her talking to him, tell him how much she’s missed him and all those other pathetic cliche things that happen after a break up but yet… at the same time. he can’t bear to hear it from her. he runs his hand through his hair again, one of few nervous habits he has. one that he’s never done in front of sunmi unless he’s been flirting. “ why would you want to talk to me ? “ he asks bluntly, and the words were out before he could stop them. of course he wants her to talk to him. he blinks and stares at her and then shrugs his shoulders. he has about five million and ten things to do, but here he is, standing glued to the spot because he DOES want to talk to her. “ you. . don’t have to go. if you don’t want too. “ more words out before he can stop them. he looks away because he doesn’t want to keep looking at her, he’ll fall straight into her again if he does. and he can’t take the heartache. out of all the suffering he’s done in his life, this is the worst yet. and it only continues to get worse. because he knows months down the line she’s going to be married, and happy. and he’ll be here. stuck and miserable. 

sunny thinks that she should feel happy. he'd agreed that it had been too long since they'd last seen each other, an admission that she'd never expected to actually get, and it should’ve been enough to make her ecstatic. instead, however, her chest fills with nothing but guilt and she’s talking before she can stop herself. " I should've called. or come by to see you. or .. something. anything. I'm sorry. " she was almost certain that she’d have been hung up on if she’d tried to call him, would’ve found herself face to face with his door if she’d even thought about visiting him, and yet she still regretted not trying. she’d been so afraid, was still so afraid. “ it’s not about me being happy. ” there’s obvious frustration in her tone, a result of the irony in his words. her happiness had never been a priority, not to her or to anyone else she’d known outside of sj, and to have the hardest decision she’d ever made tossed back at her as if it had been for her own sake is almost too much to bear on top of it all. “ I want you to be happy. ” she just barely resists flinching at the clear lie in his words, at the respect he still shows her as he bows, and she’s suddenly thankful for the lack of attention he’s giving her. because she’s almost certain that she has to look pathetic in front of him, lost and clinging onto each of his words only to flinch and curl in on herself when they’re harsher than anticipated. “ I’m fine. ” it’s a lie that she’s become surprisingly good at telling, the one thing she can make pass her lips convincingly after more practice than she’d like to admit, and yet she still falters when his gaze flickers up to her for the first time. she missed him so much. “ you don’t need to be formal with me. you never have. ” she can’t pull her gaze from his now that she has it, can’t bring herself to part with the deep brown of his eyes. 

her lips twitch instinctively with the threat of a smile, as she watches sj run his fingers through his hair in a way that she’d only ever seen after he’d said something particularly charming, before the knowledge that she’d never again see it done in that context evened her expression out into something passive once more. she wondered if he’d used that same technique on someone else since their break up, wondered if they’d been as charmed as she had, wondered if it’d worked well enough to get them home in his bed. her stomach churned uncomfortably at each thought until she finally forced herself to stop wondering. “ because I’ve missed you. ” she has no choice but to be earnest in her reply, unable to form any better lie or excuse when he wouldn’t stop looking at her. she couldn’t think straight with his gaze on her and yet she never wanted it to leave. “ and I want to - to hear how you’ve been. what I’ve missed. ” she attempts a more suitable answer, even if it is a few seconds too late. “ I don’t want to go. ” I never wanted to. the words burn the back of her throat, along with every other unsaid sentiment hanging heavy and suffocating between them, but she can’t bring herself to push them out. he was allowing her to stay, giving her the only second chance that she may ever get, and that was enough. even if her heart did sink as he finally turned his gaze away.“ so, if you don’t want to go either, would you like to go somewhere? together? ” having this conversation in the middle of the sidewalk, people rushing beside them on either side, seemed wrong somehow. it felt more delicate than that. “ there’s a coffee shop just a few shops down, if you’d like. or, if you have somewhere else in mind, I don’t mind either. ” ideally, she could offer her home as a suggestion. however, her parents and fiance waiting for her there had long since made the house the last place that came to her mind when she needed somewhere comfortable. sj had been more of a home to her than any of them but she’d lost that now as well.

[minscnmi]

sjsungjaes‌:

sungjae was completely startled, he hadn’t been expecting this and he wasn’t sure if he wanted this at all. her voice was like music to his ears, he’d never get tired of hearing it yet at the same time he felt at a complete loss. all the hurt and emotions he felt were bubbling to the surface and he he ran his hand through his hair, trying to hide it as much as he possibly could and he chewed his lip and he nodded. “ yeah. . i get it. “ he says and he looks down for a moment because he’s unsure of what he wants to say. “ i know. a long while. “ he said and he stared at her, still unsure. then her next question made him laugh, a humourless laugh that he didn’t even mean. “ me ? i’m fine. great. absolutely peachy. “ he says his voice tighter than it normally would be and he breathed in deeply and pinched the bridge his nose and looked back at her. “ i’m fine. “ he said and he looked her over trying to be as subtle as possible. “ how have you been ? “ he asked, though he dreaded the answer. dreaded her telling him that he’d been absolutely fine without him, she was engaged and she was happy. the fact that she’s being so formal annoys him. “ you don’t need to use formalities with me, sunmi. i think we’re passed that, don’t you ? but then again. . i don’t know. sorry. “ he shrugged. he took a few steps back from her, the close proximity being too much for him and he looked away from her again. 

he was starting to find that it was more difficult to actually look at her, it hurt him. really hurt him and he knew he was being rude but he couldn’t cope with it, he wanted to go home, and just hide under his covers and ignore the world right now, he chewed his lips. “ sorry if i’m keeping you, i’m sure you’re busy. i’m sorry for running into you like that. “ he adjusted his bag and he looked back at her, bowing his head. though all he wanted to do was pull her close and into him. he was still so pathetically in love with her and it made him feel humiliated. that he still wasn’t over it and he bit into his lower lip still avoiding her gaze. 

sunny could still remember the first time she’d met him. he’d been such an enigma to her, the complete opposite of everything that she’d ever been. he was bright and open and so unapologetic in everything that he did. he’d been mesmerizing, had left her hanging onto his every word and action, and she’d expected for the magic to fade eventually. however, standing in front of him now, she found herself overcome with the same sense of awe as she watched him. because his hair fell gracefully in front of his eyes, a result of his fingers disrupting their previous place, and yet it was so clear that there were emotions playing out on his features. she wasn’t sure which emotions, exactly, but she found herself irrationally jealous of how easily he allowed himself just to feel whatever they were without filter. it was a luxury she’d never been granted, one that she’d only ever experienced at his side. “ too long, maybe? ” it’s a fine line she’s walking, between honest and politely reserved, and she regrets ever stepping over it the moment that the bitter laugh slips past his lips. she curls in on herself slightly at the sound of it, putting more distance both emotionally and physically between them. “ I’m sorry. ” her voice is soft, barely above a whisper, and it’s the only acknowledgement she gives to his outburst before she allows him to correct himself. and she knows it’s not the truth, knows that his first answer had been much closer to the truth, but she gives a tiny nod regardless. “ right. well, I’m .. glad to hear that. ” she meets his gaze when he finally looks at her and contemplates telling him the truth. I’ve been miserable without you. I worry everyday that I made the wrong choice letting you go and the only way I’m able to get through half of my days is imagining what you would do if you were there. she chickens out at the last second, too afraid of seeing rejection in his gaze if she were to tell him everything. “ I’ve been okay. ” she thought she noticed his gaze flickering downward, giving her a quick once over, but she quickly convinces herself that she’d only imagined it. it does nothing to dismiss the blush that had started to creep up onto her cheeks. “ we are. we’re past that. ” she loved him, certainly she was allowed to at least admit that they were past formalities reserved for strangers. right? “ or .. we were? I don’t know. I guess it’s up to you whether we are or not. ”

she knew that this exchange was short-lived, that there was only so much that could be said between them before they were forced to go their separate ways once more, and yet she felt an unexpected spike of anxiety as he began to dismiss himself from the conversation. " I have time to talk to you. " it's not technically true considering her schedule, she knows that and she expects that he will as well, but the words were past her lips before she could stop them. she’d just wanted an excuse to make him stay, something to make him cut off his apologies and pleasantries that inevitably led to him walking away. “ unless you’re busy? ” she adds, after a moment of silence clears her head enough to make her realize that he almost certainly has a whole list of things he’d rather be doing before he’d choose talking to her. “ I mean - I know I just bumped into you and I’m sure you were on your way to something much more important than this before I did. so, I can leave you alone, if you want? ”

[stefansalvatored]

[minscnmi]

@sjsungjaes

[minscnmi]

sjsungjaes‌:

sj’s been busy, so busy he hasn’t had much time for anything else. that includes relaxing and he just wants some time off to do so but he’s a little worried that, that’s not gonna happen anytime soon. he wants to go home and he wants to relax with joon if he’s up for it, though he’s not seen him since the weekend… especially since he’d invited moonie and left him to deal with his ex… drunk. he knew he’d be a little mad at him but he couldn’t just sit and watch him suffer anymore. he’s in so much of a rush that when he clatters straight into the girl coming his way he almost stumbled right over and they’re so very nearly on the ground however he catches himself and her.  

he catches her before she can fall backwards, he has a habit of making that happen especially if he crashed right into them and he raised an eyebrow. holding the girl for a moment untul he was sure she was steady on her feet. “ really don’t worry about it. “ he said and he took a small step back. he runs his hand through his hair and he brushes it out of his eyes and he checks to make sure he hasn’t dropped anything or she hasn’t dropped anything. once he realises in fact that she’s dropped her purse he bends to pick it up and he goes to smile at her again only stopping and he finally looks at her. everything comes crashing down on him at once and he he stares at her, unsure if he’s seeing things or if she’s really there. he swallows… or tries to anyway. his throat is dry. 

the voice. the VOICE stopped his heart. “ sunmi. “ his voice falls monotone. he tried hard to make it sound so, he didn’t want her to think he was still hurting over their whole situation but he was. still pining. always pining after her. he almost scoffs at the thought and he refused to move back from her, even pretending he didn’t care didn’t mean that he wanted to be any further away. “ yeah. . clearly. “ 

sunny can feel hands on her hips, the grounding touch the only thing keeping her from falling directly onto the concrete below them as a result of their run in, and she’s grateful for the feeling until she recognizes the voice that follows - her gaze confirming what she’d already suspected moments later. and suddenly the touch that had once been so innocent and comforting feels heavy and suffocating instead. because it’s him, the only boy who could ever make her feel like she was something special, and she knows that she should brace herself for the tense conversation that is almost certainly about to follow but she can’t because he’s in front of her, brushing the hair out of his eyes, and he’s so gorgeous that it genuinely steals her breath for a moment. she can’t believe that there was a time that he’d been hers. she can’t believe she’d ruined all of it. because, standing in front of him again, it feels so easy to imagine giving everything up just to see him look at her with his soft smile again. instead, however, the sight of her is enough to wipe any smile that had been on his lips off entirely and she remembers why she’d had to give him up in the first place. he deserved so much more. 

the cold, disinterested tone of his voice snapped her back to reality and she forced herself to swallow the heartbreak that came with it. allowing herself to show her own heartbreak when he clearly felt nothing for her any longer seemed too pathetic to even consider. instead, her posture straightened and she crossed her hands in front of herself, faux composure serving as the only defense mechanism she knew to fall back on. it felt odd to be so formal and reserved around him, when he had been the one person she had allowed herself to relax with previously, but it was all she knew and he’d seemed to give her no choice.“ it’s not that I didn’t recognize you. ” she amends her previous statement, despite the fact that he’s made it painfully obvious he doesn’t care either way. she still wants him to know. she could recognize him in any crowd, could pick him out of lineup based on nothing but the sound of his laugh or the rhythm of his heartbeat; she had every detail of him so committed to memory that she feared that maybe there would never be a day that she didn’t recognize him. “ it’s just that it’s been a while since I’ve seen you. ” she corrects her statement, as if it makes their current situation any better. it doesn’t, of course, but she forced a polite smile onto her face regardless. “ how have you been, sungjae? ” she retracts the familiar nickname she’d let slip previously, addressing him as formally as he had her despite the fact that the entire situation made her want to scream.

[minscnmi]

it wasn’t uncommon for sunny to be in a rush, her typical schedule usually leaving her to balance a nearly impossible list of things. however, despite how frequently she found herself rushing from activity to activity, she still found herself anxious and frazzled each time her scheduled window of time before her next appointment approached. because, although it was typical for her to rush, it was almost unheard of for her to ever actually allow herself the luxury of arriving late to anything. she couldn’t imagine the lecture she would get on time management if she ever even tried it.

because of this, she knew that she didn’t have time to stop for coffee today. not when her father expected her at home in fifteen minutes and the remainder of her walk was at least twenty, but there was a migraine threatening to fog her vision that had convinced her the caffeine would be worth the risk. and, since she knew a few shortcuts on the way home that would help make up the lost time, she gave in to the temptation for relief after only a few allocated seconds of consideration.

however, any hope of making up the lost time disappeared the moment she rounded the street corner only to bump directly into someone’s chest. “ oh my god, I’m so sorry.” the apology was out of her mouth before she’d even had time to pull away from the stranger, already painfully aware of the fact that she hadn’t been the only thing to bump into their chest. her coffee cup had gone before her, leaving the coffee that she’d risked her schedule on to drip down the front of both of their shirts instead. it felt a lot like karma for her decision to stop in the first place. “ I’m in a bit of a hurry but I’d be happy to pay for - ” her offer to rectify the mess she’d created caught in her throat once she’d pulled her gaze up enough to actually notice who she’d bumped into. 

“ sj .. ” his name felt equal parts foreign and familiar on her tongue and she took a step back instinctively, not trusting herself to have such little space between them. the new distance did nothing to calm the frantic racing of her heart. “ I didn’t realize it was you. ” she stated the obvious, uncharacteristically lost for words in his presence as she always was but unable to make her feet move. 

@sjsungjaes

[minscnmi]

✧ ┆ ( BAE JOOHYUN, TWENTY-SIX, FEMALE, SHE/HER ). I just saw SUNMI MIN running around Freeridge, I wonder what they’re up to? Maybe they’re busy working as an HEIRESS. Either way, word around town is that they’re known for being CONSCIENTIOUS and COWARDLY, but I wouldn’t be so quick to judge them. 

hellooooo! it’s ya girl rosie again & this is my second baby sunmin ( aka sunny ). you can find out stuff about her HERE if you want to skip all of my rambling below and, as always, if you want to plot then don’t be afraid to message me because I am up for just about anything. ♡

history

♡ she was born in incheon, south korea.  ♡ her parents both worked in business, however. and, because of this, she was rarely ‘home’ in incheon. instead, she basically grew up in hotel rooms in various cities around the world while they worked.  ♡ with how busy her parents were, they weren’t very present in her life growing up. once she was old enough, she was usually alone in the hotels. and, before that, she was usually with the nanny that was hired to watch her. the time she saw her parents the most was when they had an event of some sort to attend and brought her along for it. she always felt more like an accessory than a daughter and worried about being a burden to them frequently.  ♡ despite their lack of stable presence in her life, her parents were still very strict and their standards stayed with her even when they weren’t. she was expected to act a certain way, to get certain grades, to achieve certain things, from the moment she was old enough to remember learning things at all.  ♡ as she got older, the travelling gradually decreased as her parents business gradually became more successful and they were able to delegate certain tasks to others. they spent a lot of time in los angeles before finally settling pretty securely in freeridge. being in a more stable location didn’t bring her and her parents closer, however. if anything, it made the pressure they put onto her even worse than before now that they were around to see and enforce their standards themselves. 

details

♡ her parents consistently high expectations have left her to be quite the perfectionist. and while it isn’t always a bad thing, it’s also uncommon for her to feel good enough at almost anything she does no matter how successful she really is at it. she can hear her parents critiques in her head when she does anything and is constantly trying to meet expectations that are nearly impossible. ♡ she speaks bits and pieces of four languages ( korean, english, french, and spanish ) with all of her time spent traveling, although korean and english are the only ones that she considers herself fluent in.  ♡ she has no interest in or passion for business. in fact, the thought of having to take control of the business like her parents expect of her makes her incredibly anxious. if it were up to her, she would have nothing to do with it. but she knows that isn’t the case, and that it has already been decided for her, so she has committed herself completely despite that.  ♡ she doesn’t really have any hobbies or passions of her own. she’s never had the illusion of her life being her own and therefore never took the time to figure out what she would want to do with or make of it. the only hobby that is entirely for herself, without any connection to her family, is painting.  ♡ she’s incredibly charitable. having grown up privileged, in terms of wealth, it’s important for her to try to give back whenever she can. she likes to volunteer at places as well.

personality

♡ alright so basically she’s another very soft bub who just really craves her own identity and experiences after having such a controlled upbringing ( but is also incredibly afraid of the unknown ). ♡ she’s very prim and proper, both in appearance and attitude, which can sometimes come off as stuck-up or conceded during initial encounters. she never means it this way, though, and couldn’t be any less conceded in actuality. ♡ she can be very formal and withdrawn when she isn’t comfortable with someone and it can take her a long time to truly get comfortable with someone but, once she opens up, she’s an entirely different person. she’s adventurous and goofy and kind and has the most animated laugh ever. ♡ she loves painting and art in general and it’s one of the few topics that can disarm her enough to make her relax almost instantaneously.  ♡ she’s a giant push-over, unfortunately. which is ironic, considering most people would expect her to be able to handle herself in negotiations. she does better in business situations, when her personal feelings and insecurities are irrelevant to the exchange ( although she’s still not the best. it’s something she’s working on. ). in personal situations, however, she is incredibly naive and gullible.

wanted connections

connections & details on current wanted connections can be found HERE. I’m also open to anything & everything, though, so don’t be afraid to bring me any plot ideas that aren’t listed!

[irxne]

cutest binch

[minscnmi]

「tag drop」