Bands and Hair

Michaela. 17. All Time Low. Fall Out Boy. 5sos. Arctic Monkeys. Try Hard s o r r y. INTJ. Les Mis. Sherlock. Message me please i will be your best friend I swear.

[bonerfart]

Me: my son is so tiny i must have the tiniest son in the world

Doctor: this is a regular sized baby, i don’t think you understand how babies work

Me: I love my tiny son

[bandsandhair]

15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*

me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

[thebitchsaidyeeaah]

[phasered]

I asked for 3 tacos at Taco Bell and the girl gave me my 3 tacos then handed me a bag with 10 more tacos and 2 soft tacos I don’t know what just happened all I asked for was 3 tacos

[seahorseharry]

not gonna

say it

nope

noooooo

[factoseintolerance]

Stephen Colbert “steals” a Lincoln bust and makes a dumpster getaway in the halls of Congress, pushed by “just quitted” congressman Jack Kingston.

[peace-love-colbert]

October 3, 2014

[laughterkey]

They also went fishing in the Capitol reflecting pool.

[dboybaker]

[gothicprep]

FUCK GHOSTS MAN

[skygenders]

Lord of the Rings and Tumblr

[kittenstyles]

tbh if u ever think u are not 1d af for even like 20 seconds the skies above will split open and strike u with a lightning bolt in the form of a new song or incredible concert footage or niall horan being human sunshine and u’ll fall to ur knees n be like yes yes Sorry god i am 1d af 24/7

[nigeofthelivingdead-deactivated]

Eventually whenever Pavlov heard a bell ring he had an uncontrollable urge to feed a dog. 

[glramseys]

[fivesource]

[bandsandhair]

Things I Say While I'm Driving

Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.

Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.

Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.

Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT

Me: Shit is that a cop? No.

Me: Shit THAT is a cop.

Me: /dinosaur screams/

[aveoi-deactivated20150922]

*tries to get eight hours sleep in 3 hours*

[winchestheart]

[bandsandhair]

I’m going to give you a mild sedative.

[goassbuttgo]

"People don’t enjoy violence in real life, but they love it in their movies." - Eli Roth