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This is my writing blog! Click my name to find my personal blog :)
i will probably be inactive on here as i have pretty bad writer's block and i struggle with perfectionism and not wanting to start pieces of writing for the fear that they will not turn out good.
i have reposted my previous pieces on here, and might update once in a blue moon! thank you to all the people who left nice comments and reposted on the original posts! love you all!
I absolute love everything you have posted!! I NEED part 3 of Cliche pleaseee 🥹🙏🤍
Ty!! Sorry for the late replies, I lowkirkeniunly forgot to check this account...
Anyways, there are supposed to be 6 parts of cliche in total. They're all planned out ofc, but idk if I'll be able to crank them out bc your girl is STRUGGLING.
Part 3 is posted, and part 4 is in the works... (by that I mean I have like 2 paragraphs)
The next thing I'll post is probably the oneshot of the dream I had mentioned ✨
tags & warnings: Light fluff, slight angst, slowburn, reader in their feelings/indecisive, mentions of underaged drinking
synopsis: Hollis invites you for a trip upstate where you're almost late.
a/n: i gave the reader a little background, i hope you don't mind. sorry this took so long!
proofread by @starincarnated
masterlist
wc: 2.37k
You and Hollis stayed in contact long after the project was finished and turned in. Him and you were becoming good friends, friends that hung out during the school day, made music in the evenings, and smoked weed together on late nights out.
You’ve met his parents, who absolutely adore you, and his little brother, who you found very funny. They occasionally invite you out to eat at restaurants when you want to escape your own familial situations. Your family weren’t as close as Hollis’, so they were more welcoming of you.
Hollis also introduced you to some of his other friends as well, mainly his best friend, Nate. They had met in middle school through sports, many of those he still participated in during high school. While he was at practice, you would be holed up in your room doing school work or sketching clothing pieces you’d (hopefully) eventually make when you saved up enough money for a sewing machine.
You were passionate about fashion, always looking for a particular style. It was part of the ‘party girl’ branding at first, being the life of the party meant having eyes on you, and having eyes on you meant looking good. You were really into creating and styling, and you always had an eye for fashion. People would compliment you nonstop, to the point where it felt kind of numbing. But that didn’t stop you from showing up and showing off your talents.
Even though you’d be at a party every weekend, and even on weeknights, it didn’t mean you were popular, or even had many friends other than Hollis. You kept your head down low during the day, and held it up high at night. You had many acquaintances, just not friends like the way you and Hollis clicked and would hang.
After 2 hours of studying (or at least trying to) while listening to music, you got a text from Hollis.
Hollis
just got off practice
meet at mine’s?
You
sure
You grabbed your jacket and boots to head out. Before leaving the house, you speak a semi-silent “I’m going out” into the space with no answer. This was a typical occurrence.
You were about to walk across town to Hollis’ home, but you were stopped by a car’s honk. Looking up, you found Hollis and his family in the car, with his parents in the front seat. You greeted them with a big smile and waves before getting into the car. Angus was in the very back, with you and Hollis sitting in the middle row.
“Long practice?” You asked.
“Yea.” He responded.
“You look super tired, you should get some rest after this.”
“I’ll be fine, we have exciting news for you anyways.” He stretched back up.
“Hollis! Don’t ruin the surprise.” His mom shushed him.
The rest of the car ride was filled with jokes and laughter, with Angus occasionally chiming in from his headphones once in a while. Hollis talked about some stupid prank that he pulled on Nate during practice, turning all his clothes inside out and stealing his shoes. Nate eventually found his shoes and put everything back, but his confusion was to Hollis’ delight.
“Poor Nate, I feel really bad for him.” You stated.
“Hey, whose friend are you, his or mine?” He forced you to choose.
“I’m literally in your car, going to dinner with your family.” You deadpanned.
“We’re here, kids.” Hollis’ dad commented. You all got out of the car and headed into the restaurant. You sat along a rectangular table, with Hollis sitting in between you and his brother. Across from you was his mother and next to her was his father.
Dinner was good as usual, laughter filled your hearts as it rang across the table. As entrees were wrapping up, Hollis’ mother called for your attention.
“We really do think of you as one of our own. Over these past few months, you’ve really helped Hollis.” She said.
“Helped? I barely did anything. You guys are helping me more than anything.” You brushed off their praise. It was how you usually responded to praise, with deflection. Hollis knew that, so he wanted to make you feel better by nudging your foot under the table.
“Please, Hollis seems much happier now and is even doing better in school thanks to you.” His mother’s voice was warm and kind. You caged Hollis’ feet under the table from nudging, causing him to look at you and hold back laughter. “What I really wanted to talk to you about today is a trip that we have planned.”
“Oh, I won’t mind not seeing Hollis for a few days, I hope you all have a great time!” You reassured them with your hands waving in front of you. Hollis continued to play footsie with you under the table, caging his feet on yours. You tried to cage his feet, but he was stronger than you, resulting in you struggling against his legs.
“No, we want you to come with us.” You freeze… then you pull your foot away from Hollis’. He looked over at you with concern.
“I don’t know, this is just very sudden. Can I think about it?” You said, trying to ignore the look from him.
“Of course, sweetheart.” His mother comforted you. “We leave the Friday school ends, so there’s still a lot of time.”
It was about a month away from school finishing up. That left you with enough time to contemplate on such a big trip. You knew your parents wouldn’t have cared where you were, but you’d still have to tell them that you would be gone for a few days.
During the drive back, everyone was silent, partly from the heavy weight of the decision, but also from the after-dinner drowsiness. Hollis pulled you back before you could step out of the car when it got to your house.
“You’ll come, won’t you?” His face looked partially hurt, the other part was hopeful.
“I don’t know. It’s a big commitment.” You responded. A commitment to his family, a commitment to him that this would be a part of your childhood forever. A commitment that meant being asked where you’ve been for the past weeks and answering with excitement and experience. A commitment that meant being engraved into Hollis’ memories, and him into yours.
He gave you a disappointed glance, not in a malicious type of way, but just in a ‘okay then’ type of way. You smiled shyly to show your good will before turning around and walking away.
You and Hollis started the next week off strong, tons of texting back and forth, with no mention of the trip whatsoever.
Hollis
yea, so this roman kid is actually pretty cool, i dmed him on insta
You
i saw yall together at that one basketball players party
Hollis
we mightve gotten a little drunk together haha
You
oh i think it was more than a little drunk 🙄
Hollis
youre just jealous you werent there
wait werent you at another party then? without me again?
You
maybe…
Hollis
i gotta keep you on a leash
You found yourself laughing at your phone screen before your attention was snapped back to the teacher at the front of the class, clearing their throat for the attention of their students. You quickly pocketed your phone and tried to pay attention to their boring lecture.
Soon, however, during the middle of the week, Hollis began getting impatient and asking you about the trip: “When are you gonna decide to come or not?”
Every time you hear the topic, you avert crisis by switching topics or just completely walking away: “To come to that party this weekend? Hell yeah I’m going.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.” Hollis rolled his eyes. You took his hostility the wrong way and end up hitting his arm softly, then turning around and leaving. “Hey! Come back!” He called after you. You didn’t look back at all, just kept walking.
Time kept ticking by, your days getting longer and more boring without Hollis. You missed his presence more and more, but you’d still hang out with him around his other friends. You knew you’d have to make a decision sooner rather than later.
You weren’t sure if you were ready to take such a big step with Hollis and his family by encroaching on their trip, essentially joining the family. You felt as if you were a constant burden to them, an extra mouth to feed, an extra person to take into account, an extra seat filled in the car. At the same time, you felt so welcomed by them, but you didn’t have it in you to be selfish and accept that. You and Hollis were only friends after all.
At that thought, you felt a buzz from your phone. You opened the text to find that it was Hollis.
Hollis
i missed you
please talk to me?
im sorry for whatever i did
i didnt mean to pressure you
You didn’t feel like responding to him, since you’d have to acknowledge that you were avoiding him. Accountability, something you hated and were able to slither away from. You were once again, running away from the heavy weight that pressed you, or at least trying to. You and Hollis had drifted apart.
It was late at night, so you silenced your phone and left it on your bedside table. Your eyes drifted closed and carried you to dream land. You felt as if floating and woozy all over, as if everything was happening all at once, yet nothing at all, but also sequentially. Like you couldn’t control your actions, but simply went through them; that was how you knew you were dreaming.
You drifted off to a field of sunflowers, they were just about to bloom, it was about time. The first one bloomed, then some others. They opened with the power of bravery and courage, facing the sun in all their confidence; all, but one. This one was your height. You resonated with it, felt as if the dream was guiding you to the sunflower. You tried to encourage it to open up, but it remained closed. You were sucked into the bud, forever trapped before you woke again.
But unlike the dream, this is real life. You could choose for yourself. You knew what this meant. You knew what you had to do.
It was the morning of the trip, you’d been sitting on the decision for a while, contemplating whether you should go or not, take action or not, have control or to give it up. You decided to pack just in case you did decide to go. It wouldn’t hurt to clean up a little anyways.
While you were folding your clothes neatly, you heard your phone ping. You knew who it was.
Hollis
we’re leaving in 2 hours
gonna try not to miss you too much
*Attachment: 1 image*
You put in the passcode to your phone in order to view what he sent you. It was him outside his house with his luggage, seemingly waiting for you. The sunflowers from his mother’s front garden peaked through in the photo, and that was the moment you knew it was fate’s will that you went on this trip. It was fate’s way of letting you be apart of their loving family.
You tried to finish packing as fast as you can, haphazardly throwing whatever you thought you needed into the suitcase. You miraculously finished within the hour, and dragged your suitcase across town to get to Hollis’ house. You laboriously dragged your belongings across the abrasive concrete. Every step you took, doubt seeped through, but you would feel the weight of the bags you were carrying and be even more sure that you had to go on this trip. Fate had it in its plans, so you couldn’t defy it.
You had turned the corner on Hollis’ block when you saw their family walking out of the front door. You hurried to their front door, forgetting all the doubt. Adrenaline pumped through your body as you smiled brightly, Hollis lighting up at the sight of you. The sunflowers stood tall in the background as you two collided in a warm hug.
“Didn’t I tell you to not be late?” He joked.
“I don’t quite remember that.” You jested with him. He took your suitcase and lugged them into the trunk.
It was the usual banter in the car; you laughed with Hollis as his dad told another terrible joke. You inevitably fell asleep during the car ride as the rocking about made you drowsy. You dreamt of the sunflower field again, but this time, it was sunny yet raining at the same time. The light refractions from the reflective droplets and the sun formed a rainbow arching in the sky over the flowers.
You woke up to Hollis poking your cheek while softly saying, “Hey Sleepy-head, we’re here.” You nodded and gathered your belongings into the lodging that his parents rented for the next few weeks. After you got settled into your room, Hollis knocked politely on your door.
“Hey, it’s me.” He waited for your acknowledgement to open the door.
“Who is me? That’s very helpful.” You teased as you went to open the door for him. “So what’re you here for?”
“Can’t a guy just check in on his friend?” He said as he leaned on the door frame.
“It’s never just that with you.” You smiled.
“I wanted to ask if you wanted to take a walk by the lake. I heard it was beautiful.” He said.
“Sure. We could take pictures to make Finn jealous. He’d love the view.” Hollis laughed at what you said. You put your shoes on and left with him, taking a cutely paved out trail to the lakeside. When you got there, Hollis slipped his hand in yours. As you walked hand in hand by the lakeside, listening to each other’s breaths and trekking through the terrain, you began to find inner peace. There was a wish silently made in you to never let this peace end, to let things stay as they are.
synopsis: Hollis counts his pennies for a trip to the city.
a/n: short one, if this doesn’t make sense… it does. ty for all the love on the last one guys 🫶
proofread by @swagonometryfr
masterlist
wc: 1.24k
You looked up from staring at the grayscale screen with green notes scattered on it. You’ve been with Hollis for the past few hours, scrolling through his ableton projects and making new beats while he was counting up his savings.
He had taught you how to make beats on your computer, and showed you which sounds he liked to use in his music. You were completely in awe with how in tune he was in the process of creating music.
Deciding that you were too tired to stare at another EQ and make the slightest bass change ever, you looked over to what he was doing.
“Never thought all those pennies would come in handy.” You joked.
“Every last one counts, especially for what I wanna do, it’s gonna be expensive.” He explained while he got a jar full of pennies from his room.
“And what is this thing you want to do exactly?”
“I’m renting a recording studio in the city. My parents told me I had to save up my own money to pay for it though.” He counted a handful of coins, then put them back into another jar. The smell of rust and metal crowded your nostrils.
“How long are you gonna rent it for?” You asked a few moments later to fill up the silence that was accompanied by the constant clinking of coins.
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out, smartass.” He threw a dime at your head. You handed it back to him, knowing he wouldn’t want to waste it.
“Ow, geez, I was just curious.” You scooted closer to him and took some coins from the jar. “Let me help.”
He looked at you and met your eyes, “Thanks.” You felt a warmth spread over your heart like it was next to a fireplace, calm and controlled.
You two counted pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters for the next hour until he suddenly spoke up: “I’m short a penny for the next hour.” He frowned.
“Wait a sec!” You hurried to get your jacket from his room. You come back with a shiny, new penny.
“My lucky penny… take good care of it, okay?” You showed him the freshly minted coin.
“I’d be honored, but isn’t this too much? The penny holds more sentimental meaning than anything.” His hands cupped yours around the piece of copper.
“The use you’ll get out of it is worth more than a few old memories. We can always make more.” You smiled up at him. It might’ve just been a stupid coin, but to you, it was a sign of your friendship, that this was fate. And you’d rather let it progress to something new than hold onto the remnants of the past.
It was the night that you two first partied together. Drunk and woozy, you decided to go on a walk around the block in order to take a break from the sweaty mass of intoxicated teenagers. Hollis followed you out and accompanied you.
“I’m not gonna do anything stupid.” You giggled.
“Gotta do my duty as your bodyguard.” He stood taller to emphasize his joke.
“Alright, I’m just gonna walk around the block. Catch me if you can.” You sped past his still form in your platform shoes. You knew there was no way you’d be able to outrun him due to his stature, but it was a heat of the moment jest.
He took a couple of long strides and caught you with his arms, wrapping them around your figure. “Gotcha.”
You giggled as you tried to fight him off of you, but he was too strong. Sneakily, you tried to duck your way out from under him, but it ended with you two on the floor of the sidewalk.
You noticed a tiny metal object beaming. It had glinted in your eye, catching the light of the moon and reflected to meet your gaze. You picked it up and pocketed the tiny piece of good luck, sealing it away in your warmth.
“So we’re picking up trash from the sidewalk now?” Hollis leaned down to rest his head on top of yours. You could smell the alcohol from his breath once more. He was still intoxicated, and so were you.
“It’s a shiny new coin, and it’s lucky, okay? It’s not just any piece of trash. It’s special.” You argued back.
“I know, it’s like a memento for this moment in the present.” He started to get up and even held his hand for you as well.
“Thanks,” you had taken his hand. “Let’s go home now.”
“Whatever you say.” He let you lead the way.
That night, he helped you sneak back home. At your window, you waved at him goodbye and told him to get home safe. As you were getting ready for bed and changing, you found the penny once more, and decided it was a piece of good fortune and happiness to keep with you.
From that day forward, you kept that penny in the pocket of your jackets along with your keys. It would remind you that good times were always ahead during hard parts of your life, that there was always something to live for.
Hollis had counted up all the coins. He’d be getting a good 6 hours of studio time with the amount of money he’d saved up.
“You should really come with me, you know.” He tried to convince you.
“I really wouldn’t want to distract you.” It’s not that you didn’t want to go, it’s just that you wanted the best for him, focusing on his music in the time allotted.
“You wouldn’t be distracting me, just helping.”
“Focus on your music as much as possible and be productive with your time, okay? I’ll stay home finishing the project, then I’ll meet you after your hours are up and maybe do something fun?”
“It’s always a fun time with you around, let’s just grab some food.”
“Ooo, I saw on instagram that there was a party soon.” You suggested.
“You and your partying.” He joked.
You poked his ribs, “You know you enjoy spending a good night at a party with me.”
“Unfortunately, I do.” He admitted while chuckling.
And that’s how it went. He went to the city and recorded a few songs in the studio he rented there. You met him afterwards and he shared the fruits of his laborious time at the studio.
"This is good, I like the melody of the background vocals." You complimented him. "Oh and this phrasing is impeccable."
"Thanks, I'm gonna master these later."
“Hm, I’m not really in the mood to party, how about we just go to a diner.”
“I can search for one near us.”
You two walked to a crowded diner and talked about your passions while food was being served.
“And then a creeper sneaked up on his sheep pen, where he had this natural pink sheep he found out in the wild.” Hollis was deep in conversation with you.
“Let me guess, he didn’t kill it in time.” You laughed. He laughed with you. His husky chuckle resonated throughout the diner and warmed your heart. You finished your food together and walked back to the train station to head back home. Hand in hand, you laid your head on his shoulder and fell asleep on the way back. Once again, you didn’t care what mattered then, all you knew was that you had each other.
synopsis: You and Hollis were just kids when you met, and you did some things you'd eventually regret.
a/n: some childhood nostalgia fluff for the masses :) kinda a different writing style, lmk if you like it!
proofread by @swagonometryfr
masterlist
wc: 1.27k
The flat tone of the bell protruded through your headphones as you listened to hard basses and 808s. It was time for algebra, the bane of your existence within the past few months of 9th grade.
You took your seat in the back, put away your headphones to avoid getting yelled at, and prepared for an “eventful” class period of zoning out. The teacher walks to the front of the class, planting himself directly in front of the projector board.
“Welcome back class,” the teacher began to talk, but you weren’t paying attention. Instead, you sketched shapes in your notebook. “Please open up your notebooks if you haven’t already. Today we’re going to begin our unit on quadratics.”
The class continued on, with the teacher explaining something about quadratics you couldn’t give less of a fuck about. You occasionally paid attention and took just enough notes to get this over with.
“Alright, since there’s ten minutes left of class time, I’m going to explain the end of unit assessment now. It’s not going to be a test as usual, but a project with partners. It will be due at the end of the unit and worth 25% of your grade.” You looked up at the teacher from listening to this absolute bullshit. This project was supposed to be a huge part of your grade for this quarter, which meant you needed a good grade on it to pass.
“It is a partner project, which I will be assigning myself. You will not have much time in class to work on the project as we have a lot to cover. You might want to meet up outside of school to work on it.” The teacher continued on to list names together. You went back to zoning out until you heard your name being called, “… and Hollis.”
Hollis. He was a bit of a mysterious kid, but quite popular with the masses. He was a class clown of sorts. It would be an interesting time working with him, but you’d probably have to put in more of the work since you were pretty sure he didn’t get what the class was doing either.
You went back to zoning out when the rest of the names were being called until you felt a poke on your shoulder. “Yo.” He said to you after class. “We should probably exchange contact information for the project.”
“Couldn’t you just email me?” You gave him a side eye. He looked at you, confused. “I was joking.” You ripped a tiny corner out of your notebook and wrote down your number.
“Thanks, I’ll text you sometime soon.”
“You better. I need a good grade on this to pass.”
(xxx)xxx-xxxx
hey this is Hollis.
can we meet at your house?
You replied with a simple
sure send the addy
Hollis sent his address and you planned the meeting date. The week went on smoothly as usual until the day came.
You thought nothing of it, just going to his house a bit after his basketball practice. You had on your comfiest sweats and pulled up 5 minutes late, after all, it was hard work walking all the way to his house with your schoolwork. You knocked on his door and a few seconds later, a messy haired Hollis answered the door.
“Welcome in.” He greeted you as you walked past the threshold of his house.
His house was cozy, but not in an aesthetic kind of way, in a home-y lived-in kind of way. There were mirrors and pictures hung on the walls, as well as books stacked on tables with a framed tarot card of “the star”. You noticed that he had his laptop on the kitchen island separating it from the living room. Ableton was open, a gift he had gotten from his father when he was 11.
“You make music?” You pointed to his laptop.
“Yeah, my artist name is drippysoup.” He replied with jest.
“That’s cool. I’ve always wanted to get into music production.” You set down your stuff next to his laptop. "I've got almost no clue what he talks about in class."
"Me neither, let's pray google has the answers." He tabbed out of Ableton to reveal Minecraft. The conversation shifted again.
“You play Minecraft too?”
“Doesn’t every teenage boy?” He chuckled. It was a sound that made your heart feel like it was floating.
“I didn’t expect you to be so chill. Just thought it’d be some awkward shit.” You opened your notebook.
“I expected you to be lame too.” He studied your side profile.
“We should totally play Minecraft after we start the project.”
“That’d be lit, yeah.”
You two talked while doing the project, reminisced on stupid shit that you both did in middle school, and gossiped about teachers and internet drama.
“I can’t believe they did that. That’s insane.” You commented on the story that Hollis told you about some senior flag football kids.
He glanced at the clock in the kitchen, “My parents are gonna be home soon. I can ask one of them to drive you home.”
“That’s sweet of you.” You blush slightly, “Yes please.”
And that’s exactly how the night ended. You waved him goodbye, he walked you to the door, and his mom drove you home.
Over the next few days, you texted nonstop, even following each other on instagram and other socials.
Hollis
at a party? without me?
You
how’d you know?
Hollis
saw ur story
You
we can go to the next one tgt
Hollis
bet
You
*sent 1 video*
this kid was probably drunk outta his mind
Hollis
that’s gonna be my new producer tag
who’s this kid's name?
You
i think that’s roman leal
y’all would be good friends
Hollis
i’ll be the judge of that 🤓
You
okay buddy, move along
It was a Friday night. You were dressed in a white baby tee with a cute star design and a black leather mini skirt you managed to sneak out in. You felt confident in what you were wearing, tonight was going to be a night of fun.
You met Hollis out at the front door. He was waiting for you, and it warmed your heart knowing you had a friend among the sea of strangers.
“Let’s head in, yeah?” He gestured towards the door.
“Let’s.” You responded.
You two entered the party and you didn’t feel alone in a room full of people. You had Hollis by your side to ground you, and you were grateful for that. You went straight for the kitchen to grab some drinks, Hollis stayed by your side like a body guard.
“You want something too? Should I add the vodka or tequila?” You asked, wearily.
“Fuck yeah, just add whatever you’re gonna do. I lowkey wanna get turnt tonight.” He replied to you as you made the drinks. You handed him one and you took a sip of your own.
“Let’s go dance.” You said, your words slurred a bit as you dragged his hand towards the living room, where the dance floor was. You two jumped to the classics and to whatever beat was bumping through the floors of the room.
The rest of the night was a blur of the stinging of alcohol down your throat and the feeling of body heat beside you. You blacked out slightly and woke up a couple hours past midnight with Hollis next to you. You didn’t know how you were going to get back home that night, but all you knew was that there was a soul that was going to be right there with you.
synopsis: Hollis was a burning conflagration that was going to consume your life whole.
a/n: i love this line sm, i just want it stuck on replay, his delivery is insane. first smut fic, writing smut is hard :(
proofread by @swagonometryfr, inspired by @engineboye
masterlist
wc: 1.10k
Once again, you find Hollis showing up at your door hours past the dead of the night — the body of it lying cold as the weather was once before. He’s inebriated, probably coming from an afterparty from an event.
This isn’t the first time this week; he did this constantly, showing up at your door during ungodly hours of the night, fucking you, then leaving before the rise of dawn. It made you feel used and ashamed that you had given your heart to a man like this.
Nevertheless, you open your door, and your heart, for the man in front of you.
“Took you long enough” Hollis approaches you, hands reaching up towards you to hold you as he usually would. But before he could make contact, you step back, withdrawing from the interaction. “What’s wrong?” He asks, concern masking his face.
Nothing is wrong with you, but everything is wrong with this relationship. He claims to care about you, does everything right on the surface level, but deep down, you were being burned up in his lifestyle. The flames were consuming you whole as you mistook them for the fiery feeling of passion.
But tonight, the smoke no longer clouds your vision.
Tonight, you are in control again. Tonight, you have autonomy over your actions, heart, and fate. Tonight, you’re going to give him a taste of his own medicine.
“Nothing’s wrong, Hollis. Except for you… you’ve been naughty haven’t you?” You say, syrupy sweetly. You approach him again, but this time, much more slowly. Each step is measured, controlled by the brain and not rushed like your heart. You help him take off his jacket while whispering sweet nothings in his ear.
“What’s gotten into you tonight?” He grows weary of your sudden eagerness.
“Nothing, just let me take care of you, Hollis.” You reassure him as you kiss along his exposed chest and neck, working your way up to his jawline. You pause for a second before you reach his lips, watching as he whimpered ever so slightly.
“Careful, you’re playing with fire.” He reminded you.
“Let’s take this to the bedroom then,” You tease, hooking your finger in the belt loops of his skinny jeans and pulling him away.
You don’t kiss — no — you don’t even make out. What was happening was way more of consuming, sharing, and swallowing each other’s essence of life and being. Your hands are rough with him, rougher than dealing with his constant bullshit. You grab at his arms, hair, and face, the same he would do with you before.
The heat between you and Hollis would almost be mistaken for passion, almost.
You knew better than to trust him now. You knew it was just desire, need, and the lifestyle that kept him burning, the conflagration consuming you whole. So for now, all you did was feed the fire of need, playing with it when you were already burning.
You rake your hands down his body as you push him down on the messy bed. Before he can pull you to meet him, you straddle him while undoing his jeans. Hollis takes them off, leaving him vulnerable, but warm from the heat generated by your bodies. You take off your shorts, body still on top of his.
He tries to grab your thighs, but you take his hands and keep them above his head. He could easily overpower you, but he lets you take control. You devour his plump lips, feeling the smooth and slippery cushion of them with your teeth and tongue.
Your hand traveled from his jaw to his chest and abs, then finally down to where he needed you most. You feel every divot and curve of lean muscle underneath his warm skin. You take out his cock and pump it through your fist a few times before you glide the tip through your anticipating hole.
“Please. I need to feel you around me.” Hollis is getting fed up with the teasing, but knows better than to do anything about it.
“You’ll get what you get. And you’ll like it.” You slowly, inch by inch, take him in you, feeling the veins and length of his cock. There was no warm up — no you were already warmed up, heated from the past few months of toxicity. You rode him like your life depended on it, like you were trying to prove something, prove that you could still end up on top in this situation. The burning in your thighs didn’t matter, only chasing the highs of pleasure did.
Hollis can’t control the sounds coming from his throat. His breathy, needy moans echoed throughout the room as you sped up your hips more. His begs to slow down only resulted in you speeding up more. His mantra consisted of your name and pleas to slow down.
He tries to slow down your hips by grabbing on them, but before he could put any strength into his arms, you slap him across the face.
The air was knocked out of his lungs, as if smoke from a fire clouded him, and he couldn’t breathe. The slap across his face didn’t sting, it burned.
He let out a shaky sigh, the breath of a moan.
“Again.” He begs you, his eyes yearning for the feeling, or something — anything — to feel at all, again.
“Beg for it.”
Your hips never slow, but you smear the blood from his nose and stick it up his mouth, allowing his tongue to swirl around your finger. Your bodies shine from sweat and are hot from the pleasure.
“Please, oh please… do it again.” He repeats your name like it’s the only mantra he knows and lives by, worshipping it into existence among the gods.
You hit him again, harder, on the same cheek, then on the other one. It hurts, but it hurts so good. The pain dissipates into pleasure and grounds him, reminding him of his mortal ties to life. But before he can ascend to the pinnacle of bliss, your hips stop.
You remembered how he was always the one to leave you, but this time, you’d turn the tables on him.
You tug a fistful of his hair back and look down at him while saying “Burn in hell.”
“What?” He whines at the loss of warmth around him. You quickly put your clothes back on and walk out and away from him and his life.
Where you were headed? You didn’t know. But what you did know was that you wanted to get away from this burnt up mess.
synopsis: On a summery autumn, Hollis regrets cutting off your ties.
✮ Burn ☆
sub! 2hollis x gn! reader
synopsis: Hollis was a burning conflagration that was going to consume your life whole.
★ Cliche
2hollis x fem! reader
synopsis: You and Hollis do the cliches, but when it matters most, will you be able accept your feelings? Or will the cliches’ facades crumble and drag you down with it?
tags & warnings: Toxic (?) relationship, indecisive/toxic!Hollis, yearning, angst, fluff, alcohol, fem!reader but can be read as any
synopsis: On a summery autumn, Hollis regrets cutting off your ties.
a/n: i need this song injected into my fucking veins. also ty to celci on the genius lyrics for giving me huge inspo! first ff!
proofread by @worstamericangrl
masterlist
wc: 958
The light breeze was crisp on the warm day. Summer was warm, but dying — a shallow corpse that the spirit of autumn was slowly occupying.
But Hollis wasn’t there to enjoy the delicate weather, no, he was pre-occupied with contemplation, sat in a long meeting with the old acquaintance. He sat alone, on the floor, in the dark. The lights were off despite the light outside dying, like the spark of his soul.
He flicked the switch off himself.
He cut you off. He sent himself into this deep depression. He put out his own spark, stepping on it like a cigarette.
But you… did you ever fight for it? For him?
Hollis thinks back to that day.
You were the “it girl" of the underground… or at least you felt like it on this particular night. You controlled the dance floor, eyes all over you. They all wanted to be you or with you. Camera flashes were on as the room shook from the base of the beat, taking pictures with or of you. With every picture, a little bit of you slipped from the grasp of your own control.
You felt sick of it, needing to escape the scene for the night. You went outside, waved to a taxi, opened the door, and got ready to get in when you were pulled back by Hollis.
“One moment please, sir,” you told the taxi driver as you were getting dragged away. “What do you want, Hollis?” Your eyes narrow as you zero in on him.
Hollis stiffens up, not from your attempt at looking intimidating, but because he realized you weren’t acting like you. You were harsh to him sometimes, but you were never snappy like this.
“You never gave me a chance to say hi or bye, you were avoiding me the whole night.” Upon hearing this, you cringed at yourself being called out. He continues, “We need to talk.”
“Go on…” You spoke, cautiously aware of what’s about to happen next. You gave him a glance, one that said ‘careful what you say next’.
Woundedly, Hollis murmured an apology. “I’m sorry.” You look at him, confused, ready to leave as you take your first steps. “But I’m cutting you off.”
You stop dead in your tracks.
‘What?’ was your first thought, but what came out sounded more like a shaky “Okay.”
“I’m sorry!” He called out. His pathetic excuse of an apology came again, “I’m getting too attached and I don’t want this to turn toxic. It’s not good for my image anyways.”
You don’t look back. Just one foot in front of the other, walking away and out of his life.
The waver in your voice, there was hope in the distance.
God was he pained at your attempt to cover up your hurt, but he couldn’t be more glad that you felt the same way. You felt something for this, you just needed more to keep fighting for it.
So he was going to give you something more to fight for.
He wanted you to want him back. For you to want each other like twin flames that the universe is centered around. Not like the moon and Earth, no. There was no need for one to revolve around the other; but like Sagittarius A and the milky way, one ceasing to exist without the other, to be one in it of itself.
He needed you. And he knew exactly where you’d be.
It was yet another party, another way for you to fill in the emptiness with noise and liquor. It was going great, the usual, until you spotted a familiar head of platinum hair in the corner of the room. He was sat with girls on both sides, bottles of half empty liquor surround the table he leaned against.
He approached you, pushing through bodies just to get to you. “Can we talk outside?” You could tell he was at least a little drunk with how his breath reeked of vodka.
You agreed and went with him, albeit stubbornly. The wind outside was much harsher than before, the cold prickling at you like the truth did to him.
“I’m sorry for what I did,” he begins, “I need you. I need you so much it hurts.”
You scoff, “You think that means anything? You threw it all away because you were scared, Hollis. You hurt me because you were scared!
What about those models inside waiting for you with bottles of vodka at the ready?”
“Forget that shit, I don’t need them.”
“What about your career?”
“It’ll survive. But in order for me to do the same, I need you. Tell me, who have you loved like us?” He begged, desperate for you to understand him, desperate for you.
You went silent. Not from thinking — no, you knew already — but from the hard hitting realization of the truth that there was no one like you two together, what you had truly felt for him.
But he mistook your silence as betrayal.
“Is there someone else?” He uttered, slowly. “Tell me. Who do you love.” It was less of a question and more of a confrontational statement. “You say you’re hurting—but is it really because of me? Or is there someone else you gave that love to?”
He finally stops speaking, but he visibly hesitated instead.
“Can we just make this right.” He finally breaks his silence. “I need you in my life.”
“It’s only been you, Hollis.” You broke down your walls and let the dam crack open.
He pulled you in for a hug that you feel will never end, but what actually never ended were your feelings for each other.
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