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habitual

hollis frazier-herndon x roman leal

summary: what happens when someone makes you feel at home, only to remind you that you were never meant to stay?

word count: 431

there wasn’t a moment either of them could point to and say, that’s when it happened.

it happened slowly.

roman leaving a toothbrush in hollis’ apartment because he was sleeping over too often to keep forgetting one. hollis buying the coffee roman liked without asking anymore. hoodies traded back and forth until neither of them remembered who they belonged to first. falling asleep halfway through movies, waking up tangled together hours later with the television still humming in the background.

it looked like home.

that was the dangerous part.

because homes weren’t supposed to disappear the second one person decided they didn’t exist.

“you’re staying tonight?” hollis asked one evening, already pulling another plate from the cabinet before roman could answer.

roman smiled.

“wasn’t planning on leaving.”

and he meant it.

until morning came.

there were mornings where hollis kissed him absentmindedly before making breakfast, where roman stood behind him with his arms around hollis’ waist, chin resting against his shoulder, neither of them saying much at all. silence had become its own language between them.

it would’ve fooled anyone.

sometimes it fooled roman.

it was never the people who knew them that asked.

it was always a fan.

someone waiting outside a venue, phone already in hand, smiling like they were asking the most obvious question in the world.

“wait—are you guys together?”

hollis smiled first.

“nah.”

just that.

light enough to sound harmless.

roman smiled too, because he knew he was supposed to. he let hollis keep talking while the fan laughed, apologized, and wandered off with the photo they’d wanted in the first place.

neither of them brought it up afterward.

they just kept walking, their shoulders brushing every few steps until hollis reached over and absentmindedly hooked a finger through one of roman’s belt loops, tugging him a little closer to avoid the crowd.

as if nothing had happened.

because that was the cruelest thing about it.

hollis loved him in all the ways that never needed words.

he remembered the things roman forgot. he knew which songs to skip when roman had a bad day. he pulled him closer in his sleep without ever waking up. whenever they were apart, he always found his way back.

he made a place for roman in his life so naturally that neither of them noticed it happening.

he made it feel like home.

he just never called it one.

and roman began to realize there was a particular kind of loneliness that only existed when you were loved deeply enough to stay—

but never enough to be chosen.

author’s note: i saw a tiktok edit of doomed romllis to (you made it feel like) home and haven’t been the same since, so here’s this little blurb. feedback is always welcome (and very much needed), so don’t be shy. nonetheless, profitez bien, mes angels.