Ties
2hollis x fem! reader
tags & warnings: Toxic (?) relationship, indecisive/toxic!Hollis, yearning, angst, fluff, alcohol, fem!reader but can be read as any
synopsis: On a summery autumn, Hollis regrets cutting off your ties.
a/n: i need this song injected into my fucking veins. also ty to celci on the genius lyrics for giving me huge inspo! first ff!
proofread by @worstamericangrl
masterlist
wc: 958
The light breeze was crisp on the warm day. Summer was warm, but dying — a shallow corpse that the spirit of autumn was slowly occupying.
But Hollis wasn’t there to enjoy the delicate weather, no, he was pre-occupied with contemplation, sat in a long meeting with the old acquaintance. He sat alone, on the floor, in the dark. The lights were off despite the light outside dying, like the spark of his soul.
He flicked the switch off himself.
He cut you off. He sent himself into this deep depression. He put out his own spark, stepping on it like a cigarette.
But you… did you ever fight for it? For him?
Hollis thinks back to that day.
You were the “it girl" of the underground… or at least you felt like it on this particular night. You controlled the dance floor, eyes all over you. They all wanted to be you or with you. Camera flashes were on as the room shook from the base of the beat, taking pictures with or of you. With every picture, a little bit of you slipped from the grasp of your own control.
You felt sick of it, needing to escape the scene for the night. You went outside, waved to a taxi, opened the door, and got ready to get in when you were pulled back by Hollis.
“One moment please, sir,” you told the taxi driver as you were getting dragged away. “What do you want, Hollis?” Your eyes narrow as you zero in on him.
Hollis stiffens up, not from your attempt at looking intimidating, but because he realized you weren’t acting like you. You were harsh to him sometimes, but you were never snappy like this.
“You never gave me a chance to say hi or bye, you were avoiding me the whole night.” Upon hearing this, you cringed at yourself being called out. He continues, “We need to talk.”
“Go on…” You spoke, cautiously aware of what’s about to happen next. You gave him a glance, one that said ‘careful what you say next’.
Woundedly, Hollis murmured an apology. “I’m sorry.” You look at him, confused, ready to leave as you take your first steps. “But I’m cutting you off.”
You stop dead in your tracks.
‘What?’ was your first thought, but what came out sounded more like a shaky “Okay.”
“I’m sorry!” He called out. His pathetic excuse of an apology came again, “I’m getting too attached and I don’t want this to turn toxic. It’s not good for my image anyways.”
You don’t look back. Just one foot in front of the other, walking away and out of his life.
The waver in your voice, there was hope in the distance.
God was he pained at your attempt to cover up your hurt, but he couldn’t be more glad that you felt the same way. You felt something for this, you just needed more to keep fighting for it.
So he was going to give you something more to fight for.
He wanted you to want him back. For you to want each other like twin flames that the universe is centered around. Not like the moon and Earth, no. There was no need for one to revolve around the other; but like Sagittarius A and the milky way, one ceasing to exist without the other, to be one in it of itself.
He needed you. And he knew exactly where you’d be.
It was yet another party, another way for you to fill in the emptiness with noise and liquor. It was going great, the usual, until you spotted a familiar head of platinum hair in the corner of the room. He was sat with girls on both sides, bottles of half empty liquor surround the table he leaned against.
He approached you, pushing through bodies just to get to you. “Can we talk outside?” You could tell he was at least a little drunk with how his breath reeked of vodka.
You agreed and went with him, albeit stubbornly. The wind outside was much harsher than before, the cold prickling at you like the truth did to him.
“I’m sorry for what I did,” he begins, “I need you. I need you so much it hurts.”
You scoff, “You think that means anything? You threw it all away because you were scared, Hollis. You hurt me because you were scared!
What about those models inside waiting for you with bottles of vodka at the ready?”
“Forget that shit, I don’t need them.”
“What about your career?”
“It’ll survive. But in order for me to do the same, I need you. Tell me, who have you loved like us?” He begged, desperate for you to understand him, desperate for you.
You went silent. Not from thinking — no, you knew already — but from the hard hitting realization of the truth that there was no one like you two together, what you had truly felt for him.
But he mistook your silence as betrayal.
“Is there someone else?” He uttered, slowly. “Tell me. Who do you love.” It was less of a question and more of a confrontational statement. “You say you’re hurting—but is it really because of me? Or is there someone else you gave that love to?”
He finally stops speaking, but he visibly hesitated instead.
“Can we just make this right.” He finally breaks his silence. “I need you in my life.”
“It’s only been you, Hollis.” You broke down your walls and let the dam crack open.
He pulled you in for a hug that you feel will never end, but what actually never ended were your feelings for each other.
“I’ll never let go again.”
