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@misconceiveddarkness-blog
Where the hell is everyone?
"Work", eh? A likely story.. Is that why I heard Eliza get up in the middle of the night the other night and say something about me ripping someone’s arms off? [She smirked, crossing her arms over her chest and raising a brow.]
Well I was working until I, uh, woke Eliza up at four in the morning. It's really Eliza's fault for waking you up, she was the one who got violent.
Where the hell is everyone?
Around. Where have you been is the better question.
I've been around, catching up on some work and everything.
Where the hell is everyone?
Eliza and Brandon || Judgement Day
“Brandon." Eliza should have known it was him; there were only a few who were awake at this hour. His name rolled off Eliza’s tongue in a soft whisper. If this was a dream, Eliza did’t want to wake up. The heavy feeling in her heart disappeared the moment Brandon took a step into the moonlight, her breath taken away at the sight of his smile. Seeing him down below made her think of the famous balcony scene in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, but then came the tragic end of the play and she quickly shoved the thought aside.
A part of her was ecstatic to see him, the other part was mad at him. Running into Ryder brought back Eliza’s worst memories, and she expected Brandon to be there for her. Instead, he told her to leave and needed time to think. How much time did he need? Spending almost two days away from someone wasn’t a lot, but for Eliza, spending a day without Brandon felt like forever. Hearing his invitation gave Eliza the urge to jump out the window and throw herself into his arms, except they were three stories apart.
Eliza nodded and closed the window, she raced around the room looking for jacket. Ashley did laundry earlier that day and must have taken Eliza’s clothes as well. She opened her drawer and threw on the first sweater she could find; Brandon’s hoodie. Butterflies fluttered as dashed out the door and down the stairs, creating as little noise as possible. Before she walked outside, Eliza took a few seconds to calm her heartbeat. The thought of jumping into Brandon’s arms was still in her head but she decided against it. His choice of words didn’t assure her their relationship was okay, for all she knew, he could be breaking up with her. Brandon was in the same spot and Eliza gathered herself as she approached him. Thoughts raced in her head, trying to find the right words to say. Only one came out, “Hi.”
Brandon stepped back into the shadows as Eliza disappeared back into her dorm room, he was surprisingly nervous to see her. Brandon had avoided not just Eliza but everyone these past two days, he was at a loss what was going on in her head. He expected her to be slightly upset with him for shutting her out but he didn't know what else to do, he refused to act impulsively when it came to Eliza. He had to thing but so did Eliza, Brandon just hoped she hadn't decided to given up with him, given up on them.
The same butterflies from when they first started dated returned as Eliza rounded the corner. Brandon took a few steps meeting her half way, a smile parting his lips seeing the hoodie she was wearing, his. He had almost forgotten that she had it to begin with, he had to admit seeing her wear it awoken something deep within him. "Hey." Shoving his hands in his jean pockets as he greeted her, fighting the urge to pull her into his warm. The closer he looked Brandon could see that she had been crying, his heart nearly ripped into two at the thought of her crying.
Clearing his throat awkwardly, "How have you been?" he asked nodding his head for her to follow. He wasn't exactly sure how to start, things for the first time in a long time were awkward between them. They needed to talk but he wanted them away from campus, out in the open where his ability can't hurt Eliza, where they can talk in privacy without conceivably being interrupted.
Eliza and Brandon || Judgement Day
After leaving Brandon’s room the night before, Eliza rushed back to her dorm. When she got back, she hoped her best friend could comfort her but Ashley was already asleep. Eliza didn’t want to wake her so she climbed into her own bed and hid under the blanket. The tears never stopped. She sobbed quietly but in the end, Ashley woke up and slipped into Eliza’s bed, and held her best friend in her arms as she cried. Eliza was pretty sure the night was going to repeat itself and hopefully this time, her crying wouldn’t wake Ashley up. She felt bad, but if the roles were reversed, she would do the same for Ash because that’s what best friends do.
A few hours ago they said their good nights to one another and Eliza convinced her bestie she was okay; she lied. Eliza laid on her side, curled up in her blanket, as Ashley slept peacefully on the other side of the room. Her pillow was soaked with from her river of tears. Whenever Eliza closed her eyes, her mind replayed the last few words Brandon said to her. It was times like these that she hated her photographic memory for remembering every little detail. Each time she relived the moment, it was as if someone had stabbed her heart with a knife and kept pushing it deeper. Keeping her eyes open seemed to be the only way to relieve some of the pain.
Then Eliza remembered, she still had Brandon’s sleeping pills that Dr. Shields gave him when he had trouble sleeping. After awhile, he didn’t need them anymore and had Eliza hold on to the last few caps. The dosage Brandon was given was twice the amount Eliza would have been prescribed if she were the one taking them. She knew by taking one, it’d put her into a deep slumber and she’d sleep for over half a day. The idea didn’t see that bad. Eliza turned over and opened the drawer in her nightstand, reaching in for the small pill bottle. As she held it in her hand, she heard taps on her window and placed the bottle back in the drawer.
Who the hell had the balls to throw rocks at her window? It was four in the morning! If Ashley woke up, she was going to chew out the person outside. Eliza wiped her moist cheeks and pushed herself up to open the window. She looked out below but it was too dark to see who it was. She angrily whispered, “Are you out of your damn mind?! Do you have any idea what time it is?! Throw another one again and I’ll make sure Ashley rips both your arms off!”
An easy going natural smile formed on his lips hearing her voice, he didn't realize how much he missed her voice until just now. Just hearing her voice it felt like the huge hole missing from his heart lately was slowly beginning to fill. "Actually I don't know what time it is.." He mumbled realizing he stumbled out of his dorm room without looking at the time, looking up at the window whispering back, "Rip -both- arms off huh? That's a little extreme don't you think?" He teased stepping closer, the moonlight hitting his face, revealing to Eliza who he was. "Here I was trying to be romantic and you sick Ashley on me." He smiled up at her, from this distance he couldn't see signs of her tears.
Seeing her, hearing her voice was a reminder on how long they went without contact. Almost two days wasn't a lot for most people, but for him it was torture. Letting the remaining pebbles in his hand fall freely to the ground he whispered out before she could respond to his previous comments,"Take a walk with me?" Brandon feared she would turn him down, that she saw Ryder in the past day when they weren't speaking, that Ryder had already won her back. Even if he had, Brandon trusted Eliza enough to talk to him in person, to let him down easy. He shook his head slightly as though he wanted to shake off these new found insecurities, Eliza had always drove him crazy but a good kind of crazy and now this was a whole new feeling he has never experienced before. He hated it.
Eliza and Brandon || Judgement Day
Brandon walked down the dorm room halls aimlessly, only one thing on his mind, Eliza. It had been a little over a day since they've talked, since she told him that her first love was not only back in her life but going around kissing her. Campus was quite this time of night, everyone was either sleeping or safety tucked away in their dorm rooms. Charles, Brandon's roommate had fallen asleep over an hour ago, his snoring making it hard fro Brandon to think. Now that he had more time to let the information sink in he was grateful for Eliza being honest with him, but that was Eliza, always doing the right thing. As he reached the end of the hall he glanced out the bay windows towards the elevator that lead to the girls dorm room floor, thinking to himself it only took one push of a button and he would be outside Eliza's room. He remembered how hard it was to control his ability last time they spoke, after she left the room was completely swallowed by the darkness including himself. He didn't trust himself alone in a small space with her, not yet.
He continued on outside desperately needing some fresh air as his thoughts began to eat at him. Brandon normally walked the campus at night, he found beauty in the rare silence that seemed to only happen at night. It was during these nightly walks that Brandon did most of his thinking, more than ever he needed to get his thoughts straight. Even now his love for Eliza never wavered. He trusted she wouldn't do anything to hurt him, but first loves are something special, after she was his. Eliza had pulled him out of the darkness he had been wallowing in since his grandfather died. She was more than just his first love, she was the love of his life. Anyone else after her would be second best, he could help but wonder if it was the same for her, if this Ryder kid was more than just a first love. Brandon never once doubted how she felt before but this wasn't just any obstacle, this would make them or break them.
He found himself standing in just outside the dorm rooms, staring up at Eliza's bedroom window, he needed to see her. He didn't know what the future had in store for them but he knew one thing for sure, there was no way in hell he wouldn't give her up without a fight. No light shown through the window like the others, assuming both her and Ashley were sound asleep. As he went to pull out his phone he noticed the small pebbles that outlined the shrubs along the old brick walls. Letting his phone fall back into his pocket he knelt down taking a scooping up a handful of pebbles, as he rose he took a step back. "Here goes nothing," he mumbled to himself taking one of the pebbles he collected tossing it up just missing her window by an inch. Taking another pebble he threw it slightly harder than before, hitting the center of her window perfectly. Repeatedly tossing pebbles at her window until either Ashley or Eliza answered.
Eliza & Brandon || Be my light once again.
Eliza was taken back by Brandon’s recoil, worry written all over her face. This was what she didn’t want to happen, she hoped to avoid. The light around the room dimmed, Eliza knew it was Brandon’s doing and not on purpose. She wanted to reach for his hand to calm him, but with her next words she was best to stay back. “Yes but it’s not what you think. Once upon a time I was in love with him, he was my first boyfriend and those feelings… I thought they were gone. That kiss brought them all back…" She stopped herself. This wasn’t working, instead she was making it worse and pretty soon the room would be pitch black. Her pulse began to race, goosebumps rising up along her skin and her palms were sweaty. "Brandon, listen to me. It’s you that I love, you. My feelings for Ryder, they were from five years ago. It doesn’t matter now. I’m telling the truth. You have to believe me…" She was begging him, the look on his face had no signs of being convinced by her words. Eliza had made a gamble between keeping silent and being honest with Brandon. If she kept quiet, they wouldn’t be in this situation now but she would drown in guilt and eventually the truth would be revealed anyways. Either decision would have screwed Eliza over in the end.
Brandon stared blankly at Eliza, her words only pushing him closer to the edge. The light struggling to stay alive as the shadows continue to swallow the last of it whole. He wanted to believe her words, that it didn't matter to her anymore but her previous words made it hard. "I think you should leave." His voice low and dark, just above a whisper as he brushed past her opening the door. The last of the in his room gone, the only source of light was from the fluorescent hallway light. "I just- I need time to think." Unable to bring himself to meet her gaze as he held the door open for her. Brandon knew he should be thankful for her honesty, but the girl who holds his heart openly admitted to still have feelings for some boy she hasn't seen in years. What kind of feelings could she possibly have towards him? They were both only twelve or thirteen, it was puppy love not real love like they shared. His thoughts only made his emotions hard to control, before the darkness consumed her like it had the light he raised his head to meet her gaze, his emerald hues giving away his pain. "Please Eliza.."
Eliza & Brandon || Be my light once again.
His reaction wasn’t as bad as she expected. She imagined Brandon would have gotten angry and unleash his ability, like he once did when he discovered his ability. She remembered exactly how it felt, like someone had taken your worse fears and multiplied them by hundreds, even thousands. No matter what you did, it wouldn’t stop. It was an experience she never wanted to go through again. The thought of losing one another was terrifying, and she could see it scared him too. Eliza took his hands in hers and shook her head, “No, I’m not breaking up with you. I actually expected you to break up with me.” She wiped away the tears in her eyes. “I love you. We promised to never keep anything from each other and that’s why I’m telling you. And also… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel anything for Ryder anymore.”
Relief washing over him hearing she wasn't breaking up with him, shaking his head once. Brandon then realized just how much he loved her, even with what has happened he couldn't imagine not trying to work past it. He couldn't loose her,he needed her. Brushing the back of his hand gently along her cheek wiping away her tears, the last words passing her lips caused every dark emotion he felt minutes ago rushing back. Stumbling back, yanking his hand out of hers, "Wait, you're telling me that you kissed your ex and you have feelings for him?" he expected her to say that the kiss meant nothing to her, that he had nothing to worry about. Not that she kissed someone she still has feelings for, someone who could easily tear the one thing Brandon had ever truly loved away from him. Before he was afraid of loosing Eliza but now he was angry, at her for having feelings for a guy she hasn't seen in over five years, at Ryder for ever returning. "What kind of feelings Eliza...?" Brandon's voice dropped just above a whisper, his face expressionless. He could feel the temperature of the room drop, the light in the room dimming as the shadows consumed it.
Eliza & Brandon || Be my light once again.
Eliza rested her forehead against her knees, nodding in response to his question. Hearing Ryder’s name roll off Brandon’s tongue was like a stab to her heart. They never faced an obstacle this large in the four years they’ve been together. She had no intention of backing down either. Eliza looked up to meet his gaze, and she saw the pain in his eyes. He was hurting too, and she could only imagine what he was thinking. Eliza needed him and Brandon needed her. She was the only one who could break down his wall, and he was the only one who could get through to her. They were each other’s lifelines. ”Brandon, I love you. I love you so much. And it’s because I love you so much that I can’t keep it from you." Eliza hesitated her next words as tears formed in her eyes, swallowing hard before speaking softly. "Before I came to see you, I was with Ryder. I heard the announcement over the speaker system and just had to find out if it was him. When I saw him, I was the old me, I could’t process what was going on. And the next thing I knew, we were in his room and he… kissed me." She finally said it, there was no turning back now. Her mind was thinking of the worst outcome. It felt like the world stopped, Eliza searched his eyes for a reaction and the wait was agonizing.
Brandon felt the room shift around him as she spoke, his hands on the edge of the bed were the only thing keeping him from falling back onto the floor. He couldn't remember how to breathe or even speak. Staring blankly at the girl before him, the girl who found a way past the walls he surrounded himself with, the one person he never had a problem talking to before now. Suddenly his whole body felt cold, it felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing him in the heart.Slowly rising her tears only making it harder for him to think straight, even with his heart breaking all he wanted to do was take her pain away. Carding his fingers through his short dark hair, "So, what does this mean for us? Are you-" his voice cracking, unable to bring himself to say it. Finally forcing himself to finish, "Are you breaking up with me?" His body going ridged as though to lessen the blow from her answer.
Eliza & Brandon || Be my light once again.
Eliza took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm the nerves that were making her on edge, she kept going. “I never told you why I was like that and you never questioned it. It’s one of the things I love about you." Her knees were shaky and she walked over to the bed, pulling her knees up and hugging herself. "When I was four, I met this guy and we quickly became best friends. He was my rock, he kept me sane. When we were twelve, we started dating but then a year later his house burned down and he moved away, without saying goodbye. He took my heart with him and that’s why I was the way I was when you met me…" Her voice trailed off towards the end, realizing she rambled more than she should have without letting Brandon get in a few words. Eliza closed her eyes, the fear of his reaction grew as each second passed.
Brandon stood there in silence as she went on to explain herself, putting the pieces together. As he suspected this was about Ryder, the one Ashley had kindly mentioned to him earlier that day. It killed him inside to see Eliza so torn up. "Is this boy the Ryder Ashley was telling me about earlier?" he asked as he knelt down before her, he wanted to ask if Ryder still had her heart but he didn't instead he remained quiet. His emerald hues searching her features praying silently for her to open her eyes and look at him. "Just say it Eliza..." Brandon felt his heart literally stop beating in fear of what she would say. Never in the five years they've been together as he worried that he may loose the only girl he has ever loved until now.
Eliza & Brandon || Be my light once again.
A smile appeared on Eliza’s face the second she saw him but soon quickly fell as she remembered kissing Ryder moments before. Brandon was right in front of her, so close, yet she felt so far away. Eliza looked away, avoiding his gaze and wrapped her arms around herself, a gesture she did when she felt she was falling apart. "Do you remember how I was when we first met? How I was a completely different person, quiet, scared, anti-social, and pretty much a lost little girl?" As she brought up the past, she felt the darkness slowly reveal itself, lingering in the back of her mind, taunting her. She wanted to be in Brandon’s arm, where he always kept her safe, but she had to continue. Avoiding the issue wasn’t going to help, it would stay there, waiting until it had the opportunity to present itself again. And what if Brandon wasn’t there when it happened? At least she had him now.
Brandon was taken back when she brought up the past, nodding slowly vividly remembering how Eliza was at first. He found her shyness cute, the more she opened up the more he fell for her. "Yeah, I remember.." He said softly watching her closely, he knew something was wrong not from just the expression on her features but how her slender arms wrapped around her small frame as though if she let go she would fall apart right then and there. Folding his arms over his chest fighting the urge to pull Eliza into his arms and tell her everything is okay. He wanted to ask if this had anything to do with the kid Ashely had mentioned earlier but he didn't want to push her. Everything they've been through together he knew it was best to let her come out and say it instead of pushing, "You going to tell me what's up?"
Eliza & Brandon || Be my light once again.
Eliza stood outside Brandon’s dorm room, her hand raised as if to knock but she stopped herself. She was scared, not that Brandon would lash out at her or do something rash, but that he would jump to conclusions quickly. They went through so much together, saving one another from their darkest days. It was because they communicated and were truthful to each other that made them so strong. Promising to never keep anything a secret. She had to tell him.
Knocking on the door twice, Eliza spoke his name softly as she stepped into the room. “Brandon? Baby, are you awake?”
Brandon changed into something more comfortable after dinner. He hadn't seen Eliza all day, hoping to catch up finally at dinner but she was missing along with the supposed new kid Ryder. Brandon couldn't help but wonder if this Ryder kid had anything to do with her avoiding him. Trusting Eliza completely Brandon didn't stress too much on this new comer, he never doubted how she felt about him. A knock on his dorm room door interrupting him from his thoughts followed by Eliza's voice. "Oh you know I never sleep," he stated in a teasing manner, leaning down kissing her hello softly out of habit, he stopped half way seeing the sadden expression. Pulling away slowly his brows furrowing, his stomach turning every which way. "What's wrong?"
Can't sleep, where the hell is everyone?
His name’s Ryder I think. He seems nice enough, he seemed very interested when I mentioned her name. Maybe they were friends? I just hope she cheers up, and no I haven’t seen her since earlier this morning before classes. I don’t know what she’s up to, most likely in the library reading. Give her a call maybe?
I've looked but I think she's trying to avoid me. So this Ryder kid, did he say anything about Eliza or did he just seemed to know her?
Can't sleep, where the hell is everyone?
Nah, just over thinking some stuff I suppose. No worries. [She smiles, taking a seat on a bench in the hall.] I think this new guy Ryder used to know Eliza, and ever since he got here she just seems a little different. I just hope she’s okay.
Over thinking what? Ryan...is that the new kids name? Well, I'm glad Eliza has an old friend then. I haven't seen her all day, do you know where I might find her?
Can't sleep, where the hell is everyone?
It’s fine, I guess I am the one with a lot on my mind then. Couldn’t sleep either. How’re you doing then, Brandon?
I've been good... What on your mind Ash? Anything serious?
