Ghostboy

23 Rant Account Both pos and neg

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Fuck i think i might love them.

Like I’m asexual and thought I was aromantic but now i might be demiromantic- idk. Like I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with them- some semi romantic one or a qpr even…

But- I’m scared that it could just be because of my loneliness. I haven’t been feeling right lately and I don’t want to negatively affect our relationship. I like them as my friend and I don’t want to lose them.

They make me happy- and my anxiety says they don’t care when they’ve technically dropped some hints? Maybe- like I accidentally overheard them talk to our mutual friend in vc and it sounded like they could be waiting for me- but i don’t know. I don’t want to assume.

And another time- i just recently got introduced to their other online friends and we introduce ourselves as husbands from an old server- whats the word- bit? But like- So that’s what they did and- i like being called their husband. and their friend asked if we were really married and they struggled to fully explain it and ended it with ‘it’s complicated’…

I’m so tempted to ask but I’m so scared… so anxious of being wrong or losing them.

So i do nothing, just wallow in my room i guess…

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Why should I tell them something is wrong..

Why can’t they just ask. Why do i always have to be the one to reach out. Why can’t anyone care about me like I do them.

Why am I so fucking stupid. Honestly I should see the signs by now but I keep trying anyways,

Im sick of it

I don’t want to be the second choice anymore

[miserablyboyinvisable]

am i just unlovable? no one ever messages me to check in or ask to hang out... I can ask to play something and I'll get fought against it or they will only play if someone else says they should. then a day or so later here they are playing it with one other you where also with but also their new better friend.. they must be because thats all they want to hangout with- im just tired

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Why do I always feel like an idiot. Do people not like me? Is that it, am I so unlikable that they just pretend? I can’t keep friends and I try so hard to be nice and thoughtful but it isn’t enough. I’m not enough, for anyone. No one ever reaches out I’m sick of reaching out into nothing. I’m tired- it hurts.

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Finally went to the dentist for a broken tooth and it has a cavity- so that’s fun. Getting it fixed soon but they can’t put me to sleep for it- I’m so nervous

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Going to see the Fnaf 2 movie today! I’m dressing up as Foxy >:3

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Okay my birthday went really well- i feel better :)

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Morning-

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Anyway-

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Ughhhh why do i always have to open every message right when i get them- it bothers me so much.

[miserablyboyinvisable]

My regular account i just repost pretty art-

[miserablyboyinvisable]

Anyways- hi this is the most I’ve ever posed on social media

[miserablyboyinvisable]

And to top off feeling alone and unseen- the first person to tell me happy birthday on my birthday got my age wrong- like thanks

[miserablyboyinvisable]

I just need to get words out into the void because if I don’t ill implode or something

[miserablyboyinvisable]

I wish i could draw so i could do that little art trend where you draw yourself and your favorite characters because you see yourself in them or whatever

[miserablyboyinvisable]

It’s my birthday today and the first thing I’ve done is sob-