Tonight, I feel like introductions are in order. Because some of you don't really know me. So hi. My name is Misha. It wasn't my birth name, but it's how I prefer to be called. Thomas, Tom. I only use them because I cannot professionally go by the other until it's changed legally. I am 21 years old, but somehow I feel like I've been alive for double that time. When I was younger, I used to call myself a triple threat. I have Asperger's syndrome, I'm gay, and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. What that means is I don't understand people really well, I like boys, and sometimes my mood is a little unstable. I get really really high, thinking there's no coming down, but then I also get really low and never want to come back up. I wake up in the morning sometimes and want nothing more than to never wake up again. But other days, I wake up feeling happier than I've ever been. I'm also gender fluid. It means that I can't call myself a boy and I can't call myself a girl. I hate wearing baggy pants, I carry a purse, but makeup is not my thing and vaginas are gross. I'm a 10 from the back, but a four from the front. Guys see me, but eventually find someone else that's better for what they want. I desire a life with a family, a husband and a dog. Okay, more dogs than that. Probably at least five. I have very few friends. They know how much I love them and are there for me through anything. I've been broken six ways from Sunday and I've been through shit that some people never will their whole life. I like this boy, and I've liked him for a while. He'll never like me back and while that's okay, it still hurts like a motherfucker. See, because I'm a Cancer in more ways than one. I have so many emotions, too many to contain. Anger, happiness, sadness. They're all a part of my brain. But I'm also a collection of cells, constantly growing and evolving. Sometimes people get sick of me and sometimes I drain the life from them. Sometimes I'm too much and I know that. My problems are my own, but somehow, I've found a way to push them onto other people so it doesn't hurt so bad. And I'm working on that. I'm pushing myself daily to understand me and to know what's right and what others would see as wrong. I'm now trying not to be a bother, but a friend that people like being around. It's not easy, but I think it takes seeing how many people genuinely don't want you to see how much the people closest really matter. I'm starting to see that there may be life beyond love and it's taken a while to find who I really am. My name is Misha. I'm fucked up, but I'm funny. I'm witty and have a sailor mouth like no other. I drink a little much sometimes, but I write with such vision. I see music in everything and everyone around me. I wear a ton of black, but I feel in such color all of the time. I've loved the cruelest of devils and I've foresaken some of the most beautiful angels. My family has dropped me, but my friends have taken me under their collective wings. I speak another language and it gives me power. It allows me to be someone who I never thought I could be. I'm starting a job where I finally feel like I'll be valued for all of me. Look, I'm not making this "a gay thing" or be "melodramatic". I'm just sick and tired of being told who I should be or how I should act. How I should dress or even how I should walk. I am who I am. I've fought so hard to find me, so if anyone has a problem with any of me, do me a favor: Delete me off of Facebook, unfollow my Instagram, and no longer speak to me. If you can't accept who I am, you can gladly fuck off. Thank you and have a wonderful day.