My days with Mishtie

Living, loving, laughing with my baby

[mishtieandi]

Sleep

The smell of baby lotion

Fresh on your skin

Arms and legs twitching slightly

As you surrender and the yawns win.

Legs tossed over my body

Breathing slowly deepening

Small sounds escaping as you exhale

Nothing coherent, no reasoning.

You sweat just a little

As if working to sleep

Hair sticking to the sides of your neck

Small snore and throaty breaths by the heaps.

As the night wears on

Your breathing gets quieter

Your body more still now

Sometimes a dream makes you chatter.

Then comes a hug

And staking claim with a swoop

Of an arm and a leg tossed on dad or me

And this goes on, as if on a loop...

Before we know it

You’ll be too grown for this bed

Become your own person

Hold on to us less, as you move on ahead.

For us, as parents, this precious time

That we take for granted, and think of as routine

Will crystallize as warm memories

For in simple everyday moments, blessed we’ve been!

[mishtieandi]

“Big Girl School” - Admission

My bachcha Mishtie, I know I have not written in a long time. There are all these beautiful, wonderful episodes from our life that I keep storing in my head but have not gotten around to documenting. How you’ve grown “my sweet darling”! :)

You have been studying at Bloom Montessori now for 2 years. You started at Roots and then they changed association and rebranded to Bloom. And hard as it is to believe, you’ve been going to a school (technically pre-school), for more 2.5 years now! You will turn 5 in September which means next year onwards you will go to a big school. Class 1. The real start of formal education.

On August 1st, your Papa, you and I went to Greenwood High on Bannergatta road. We had attended open house at this school (along with you) sometime in April. The school looks like a resort! But what stood out most for both your Papa and me were the quality and quantity of sporting facilities. We both (your Papa and I) as kids did not really have a sport we took to or played with all our heart. And back then, there was not so much of a focus on sports either. But as we’ve grown older, both of us but I especially, have realized that sports do so much for you. For both body and mind and even for the spirit. It teaches you that you will lose at times but you cannot stop playing because of it. It gives you something that you look forward to doing once you grow older and get caught up in life and its many demands. People who’ve ever played any sport, especially team sport, cope better. They have the option to, even if once or twice a week, take a break and go play that sport and feel rejuvenated. You know Papa and I are playing tennis and we have fallen in love with it. But learning and playing a sport in late thirties vs learning and playing it when you are under 10 are two totally different things! But I digress. 

At the school, they took you in for an aptitude test. You coloured, identified the odd item out, wrote numbers and words. All by yourself in a room with a teacher. Then you did something brave - you faced the Principal for an interview. Also all by yourself! You were a little nervous and at least twice it looked like you would cry. But you held your own. You were sort of embarrassed that you said the food you least liked was poori - you were nervous and cringed just like an adult would when they did something out of nervousness. But also like an adult, despite your fears, you held your own. The Principal is a large-ish man with a bald head, some salt and pepper hair framing it. He has a definite presence. And for you, since you’ve only had female teachers at school, it was unusual to have a male educator interact with you, ask you questions. But you prevailed. You answered questions, you came out of the room all by yourself and in general, the way you carried yourself - it amazed me, made me proud and made me feel like you would be fine at navigating a new world starting next year. Your Papa was equally proud and happy. 

What’s more, your friend Jiya from your current school is also joining you on this journey! 

Picture 1: You looking at Jiya in the window.

Picture 2: You eating poori later in the day. All that talk about poori being your least favourite food and you really were craving it :)

You know, in addition to your Papa and me, your entire family - Dida, Daadu, Pamma, Taatha, Mashi and Mesho are super happy and proud of you! We wish you a fantastic school journey with plenty of memories, both bitter and sweet, lots of opportunities to learn, play, make friends, build character and come into your own. God bless you my sweet darling. :-* :)

[mishtieandi]

Of impromptu vacations and bonding with extended family

February was a special month, Mish. You and I went on a trip to Varanasi - just you and me, a first for us. And the first of many I hope! A colleague of mine was getting married, you and I both had a Friday off for Mahashivaratri making it a long weekend, your Papa was supposed to be in Guatemala but by the time he realized he was not traveling the tickets to Varanasi were expensive and he felt like doing a solo trip to Bangkok instead. Phew! In short, the stars were aligned for it to be the first Mumma and bubbah trip. :)

Before I delve into how this 5 day trip was, you need to understand what Varanasi means to me. It is home. That your Dida is from the city and your Mashi and I spent at least 5 summers if not more (and other holidays), definitely have a lot to do with why I am attached. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve also developed my own personal relationship with the city. Though built on top of my attachment, this particular relationship has its own character too. I don’t need an excuse to visit.

Not all my memories are rosy. My Dida, unlike yours, was quite a stickler for rules. And a perfectionist. The adversities she underwent early in life and the overwhelming tenacity she showed in the face of those adversities made her strong. Sometimes unyieldingly so. I’ve faced her wrath and not known how to deal with it. I’ve had my share of fights and disagreements with your Ashumama, some more bitter than others. Some have had an air of futility. I’ve had heart-wrenching confrontations with your Bukun Dida and come away....growing up. 

So I expect nothing from my trips. I do not expect the worst like some in our family do. I choose to be more hopeful. And you have to know this - hope is not the same as expectation.

We started on Wednesday morning. I wish I could say the journey was uneventful but you had a nose bleed, a scary one on the flight. Scary for you and the co-passengers, I’ve learnt to keep my cool through these episodes. You had 2 more nose bleeds - once when we were settling in after reaching home and another in the wee hours of the night. Or morning, depending on how you feel about 3 AM. On our return, it was my turn. I ate something for breakfast that disagreed with me. And how! I had tummy cramps that made me break into a sweat. I popped 3 antacids and homeopathy medication to keep the pain at bay. It was some good karma that I didn’t vomit or have loose motions, I wouldn’t have known how to manage with just you. To add to our woes, our return flight was not direct so we were traveling from 12.45 noon till 9.30 PM which is when we finally reached home. I made a note to self then, to never try and save a few thousand rupees when there’s an option to take a direct flight! Anyway, these journeys are always supposed to make you learn :)

You settled in quickly. You’ve always adjusted to family, on your Papa’s side and mine, with remarkable speed. Its as if you know when you meet someone new, instinctively, who is family and who isn’t. 

It was heart-warming to see you and Madhav play together, eat together, hold hands and run around the house together, watch YouTube/rhymes on app together. It was also nice to see you two have your disagreements, Madhav wanting some space as the older brother and you not really liking that someone was telling you not to disturb them. :D

We went to the Shivaratri mela in the road (really the galli) next to our house. 

We also went to Madhav’s music school. You were quite entranced.... before you started to get restless that is. And Madhav is a gifted child. He was a complete delight to watch/listen to. We also went to my favorite set of temples and spent time at Assi ghat with your Bukun Dida.

However, it is in the moments when we were not doing any of these things that the real endearing memories were made. 

Of Madhav and you carelessly playing in the breezy veranda with the steam boat that I’ve only ever seen in Varanasi - getting cold and wet in the process and having to change clothes and being scolded by every adult in the house. 

Of getting massaged in the sun-drenched foyer while all of us sipped on chai, taking breaks to catch the wind in your little, colorful, paper windmills. 

Of then taking bath together in your undies :D Of wanting to listen to a story while sleeping next to each other under a cosy blanket (razai). 

Of Madhav lifting you and carrying you a few steps claiming to be strong. Like Shaktiman. 

Of balloon fights where you took turns to win. And celebrated losing when you had won because you didn’t know one from the other. 

Of eating competitions. Of innocence. Pure and warm. A welcome offset to the cold winds of change. 

I could spend all my time with you because it was just you and me. I cherished every moment. I realized how rushed and distracted our lives in big cities is. And simple things like watching flowers on the terrace and spreading clothes on clotheslines, strategizing on clipping them tight and right...... and sleeping when the body wanted to rest - they do so much to calm the mind and nourish the soul. 

For me, in this trip, the past collided beautifully, often colourfully, with the present and gave me a glimpse of the future. There was nostalgia mixed with hope. Of continuing the family bond despite the distances, the changes, the differences - in language, city, sometimes even worldviews. 

I guess if you travel expecting nothing, you’re always happily surprised.

[mishtieandi]

Learning how to speak - Part II

Ya ya ya ya ya ya, ya ya ya ya ya. Sunday is a holiday, Sunday holiday! One of your favourite rhymes from school. Except the ya is supposed to be la. :)

As you’ve grown and as you continue to jabber on enthusiastically, some language challenges continue to stymie you. The consonant ‘l’ and ‘r’ are among those. So it had been ‘yava yaddu’ instead of rava laddu, ‘yav’ instead of love and ‘yaayun’ instead of lion for a while. 

While we were in Europe this year, I showed you how to touch the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth and say ‘la’. And suddenly, you could say it! You still need some practice with it of course, its been such a habit to say ‘ya’ instead of ‘la’. 

‘Ra’ however, continues to confound you. And you get impatient when we try to teach you how to touch the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth but let the air flow. Sigh. I guess it will take a little more time to get to rava of rava laddu!

Another one of your unique pronunciation is of the word ‘smell’. Rather, was. For the longest time you called it ‘fen’. So much so that all of us called it fen :D Again, something about Europe. One day you could just say smell! 

You would say ‘dottiya’ instead of ‘gottilla’ which is Kannada for ‘I don’t know’. And in Europe when you were tired, instead of Budapest, for some reason, you would call it ‘Gudapest’. :D 

The mixing of languages is a source of constant amusement, sometimes even to you! ‘Pur bittana’ which means, ‘I farted’ except, you wanted to say it in Hindi and it should have been ‘pur kiya na’ because ‘bittanalla’ is a Kannada word. Other examples include - ‘yahan kootha maine’ which means ‘I sat here’ and in Hindi should be ‘yahan baithi hoon/thi maine’.

You know, as you learn the language, I wonder sometimes. - did language come first or consciousness. I remember the day I taught you the word ‘smell’. You had pooped and it was smelly or maybe had farted....or maybe I had farted and it was smelly! I said, it was a bad smell. And showed you that when you breathed in, what you could smell was the sense of smell. Until that day, you had never communicated or expressed in any way that you could identify any smell - good or bad. You are an expressive child, always have been. Even when you could not talk, you could talk! 

But from that moment on, you would continuously talk about smells - bad smell from an open drain, good smell from a perfume, body odour, smell from creams and cosmetics and soap and pee and fart and poop, the smell of the mouth after brushing teeth. You see what I am trying to say here? Did you know of the concept of smell before I told you there was a word for it? Or did you become conscious and aware of this after you knew there was a word for it? 

I guess we’ll never know. 

Hugs & kisses, my little linguist adventurer.  

Mumma

[mishtieandi]

Happy 3rd Birthday!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Mishtie, happy birthday to you! Muah, muah, muah my little big baby :)

The past 3 years have been amazing! 

You have grown, yes. And I have grown with you. 

In your innocent questions and in your earnest answers to my serious questions, I have learnt that the key lies in keeping it simple, in going back to basics. In unpacking what seems too tightly bound, heavy, and letting it go. 

From you I have learnt that eating when you are hungry and sleeping when you need to, keep your energies high and spirit, positive. I see you do what you like and I see you practicing, doing over and over what gives you joy - not necessarily towards a fixed end. The doing, the process, the journey in itself can be and is, fun. It does not always an end need!

I have learnt that when you do not like someone, you don’t try to fit in with them. That it is alright to sometimes not enjoy a party and leave. Just as it is to express your happiness when you are enjoying one and dance like no one is watching!

I see how you distract yourself when you are bored - you sing your favourite rhymes, you are animated when you do this. When you miss someone, you imagine they are with you. In our entire trip (we just returned from a trip to Vienna, Budapest and Prague), you kept carrying your school, your friends and your teachers along. You imagined sharing your stroller space with so many of your classmates/schoolmates. You wondered what your teachers would say to you going to the zoo or eating on your own. You heard the rhymes they sang on the school app and you spoke about them. Its remarkable how you missed people both from school and home....and your routine but dealt so pragmatically with it!

I see you being honest when you don’t know something or find something difficult to do. I see you ask for help in a natural way. I see your loyalty - you always take my side in any argument with your dad and his side when I say (in jest, always in jest!) that I am going to kick his bottoms :) :) :) :)

One of the reasons children are so important is because they help us get in touch with things we have forgotten or cast away as useless. They help us see the whole picture when, as adults transitioning to middle and then old age, we start to feel cynical about life. You’ve always helped me find that light inside of me especially when I’ve needed to find it. You make me want to be a better person. 

On your third birthday, I wish you great health, loads of love, tons of happy discoveries and adventures, joyful surprises, enough tribulations to build your character, enough trials to find yourself and the courage to accept yourself when you do.

Hugs and kisses,

Mumma

[mishtieandi]

And just like that, you’re off to school

Mishtie, tomorrow - Monday, 6th June 2016, will be your first day of school. Now that its here, I feel.....rushed. 

I am very happy that you got to spend 2 years and 9 months (you’ll be 2 years 9 months old day after tomorrow) at home. In the loving care of your grandparents - Dida and Daadu first and then Pamma (mainly) and Taatha. And the nannies - Sudha, Naagu, Poornima and now Roopa. It was a relaxed, perfectly ordinary early childhood. The kind that is extraordinary because of how perfectly ordinary it is! You’ve been blessed so far, that way. Touchwood!

And somehow even though you’re going to school at what your Papa and I believe is the right time for you, because you seem ready, I feel like you could still be home a little bit longer. Change. That’s what it is mainly. With you growing up and now having a routine of your own, I need to be more disciplined around mine! I’ve been doubly blessed too, you know! Your grandparents, the nannies, the cook, your father - especially your father, they make my life a breeze. I have to do the bare minimum and sometimes even then I don’t do enough. Or at least I feel like I can do more. I digress. This is about you, not me. :)

These will be your first steps into a whole new world. A world that is both good and bad and yet amazing in all that it has to offer. As your mother, I obviously want you to have the best of experiences but for the same reason, I want you to go through the necessary experiences that will make you a stronger, grounded person. 

I will reserve saying anything more about your school or what I hope that would be like for you because that would qualify as expectations. I want to keep an open mind and trust the school.

While I am super anxious (you know I am a worrier!), I am also super excited for you! :) Your Papa and I and your Pamma and Dida and Daadu and Mashi and Mesho and even Taatha (even though he isn’t here tomorrow) are super excited for you Mish! 

Here’s wishing you all the best for a brand new chapter in your life. I hope it will be as blessed and enriching as your journey so far has been. *Kisses*

Lots of Love,

Mumma

[mishtieandi]

Bye Umm

2 years 3 months later, I decided to end our breastfeeding journey. I say I decided because left to you, Mish, I think we would have gone on for at least another year. While my original goal was to breastfeed you till at least age 2, I would not have minded carrying on for another year. However, I started to enjoy it less and less especially in the last 3 months. Gentle as you were, your teeth were not a pleasant sensation on my nipples any more. More pressingly, you developed dental carries and the dentist was stern in reprimanding me and warning me of dire consequences unless the middle-of-the-night feeds were withdrawn. 

So here we are. I went cold turkey on you yesterday. Which is to say sudden and complete withdrawal of the breast. Your Papa and I have been preparing you for over a month now and you seemed to accept that the umm has turned bitter. Which of course it has because I’ve applied Femite, I’ve tasted Femite and it is so bitter, I really hope you don’t have to taste it! 

Kiddo, I know this is not easy on you. Especially going to bed at night without breastfeeding, not being able to feed in the middle of the night, waking up without the feed and not having unfettered access to the breast any random time of the day as long as I am around. That said, so far (its been 24 hours), you seem to be doing reasonably well. Except during any of your sleep times. You just don’t know how to allow me to help you sleep without suckling. And I get this. Thankfully your Appamma has been able to calm you and help you sleep. God bless her! 

You amaze me, you know! In the course of preparing you for this eventual step, I had asked you to say Bye to Umm (which has been your word for breast/breastfeeding for a while now). And yesterday to my absolute wonder, you lay down, trying to sleep on your own as I patted your back, you stared a while at my chest and ever so softly, as only you could, you said Bye Umm. Although I initiated this and intend to stay the course a 100%, I was overcome by emotion. I shed a bout of quick but intense tears so you wouldn’t know. And then we walked around the room with you resting your head on my shoulder and you went to sleep. Last night and this afternoon haven’t been that easy though, you’ve wanted your Appamma only. And it is fine. I know you need time. I need time too, this is so new for me!

What a journey it has been Mish! I was told my nipples, especially the left one was slightly inward and not conducive to feeding. I still remember how the nurses at Fortis used a syringe type mechanism to draw the nipple out and forced it into your tiny mouth. Painful process. I’ve dealt with it all - engorged, painful breasts, being told my milk is too watery and probably not as filling as food for you, being asked to supplement breastfeeding with formula milk because your rate of weight gain in the first few days/the first month was lower than average and feeling like somehow I failed you... I have struggled to find the right position to sit, to hold and to feed you. Thanks to my friend Udai who sent the feeding pillow when you were about 2 months old, my resolve to breastfeed you was finally matched by how simple it was to do so without developing back pain. I’ve sprayed milk, leaked milk and felt like I’ve run out of milk after a marathon feeding session! I’ve felt, literally like a cow for the first 3 months of having you.....and then some!

I’ve spent days just sitting in a place feeding you. Or at least it felt that way! Nights where I would be feeding you without a sound, waking up multiple times, every time you even just stirred. I am grateful to nanny number 1 for asking me to get used to the idea of feeding, lying down. This was particularly helpful month 6 onward as I joined work and didn’t really feel like I was waking up at nights though the feeding continued. 

I’ve done so much research online, attended La Leche League’s online chat sessions, read all I could about keeping up supply after joining work. I’ve pumped manually, with a manual pump and with an electric pump - the last one was useful for pumping at work. I’ve frozen milk for you, which you really did not take to much and I eventually stopped pumping. I’ve discussed breastfeeding passionately with nay-sayers and supporters alike, I’ve compared notes with friends who breastfed and I’ve been stubborn about breastfeeding you till 2 years even when family members and some doctors have tried to talk me out of it.

I’ve understood the power behind this very natural immunity building mechanism when you’ve been sick - with a bad stomach infection at month 4.5 and with a bad throat infection at month 8. And through other minor cough and cold and flu instances since then. 

I’ve gone through many bites though they’ve all been unintentional and learnt how to get used to feeding a toothless baby to one with all teeth. 

I’ve offered you the breast when you’ve been antsy, bored, hurt, when you just wanted to cope with something, through your many mental leaps, physical growth spurts, when you just wanted some down time and just because.

This has been our physical bond for over 2 years, Mish. Our space, our world, our thing. Our way to recede from the external world for a while. I’ve found it blissful too, connecting to you without speaking or doing anything, feeling warm, fuzzy and full of love for you. Its been our place of peace. All of this love remains even if the physical latching on does not. For as long as I live, I will love you. Nothing will change that. Its just bye Umm, not bye Mum. 

(Below are a couple of pictures of our last night feed - Dec 7th 2015).

I love you my wonderful, blessed child, and I always will.

Hugs & Kisses, Mumma.

[mishtieandi]

Trike for a tyke!

Is a tricycle a rite of passage? I wouldn’t know, really, because back when I was a child, it was definitely not a rite of passage. The earliest ‘tricycle memory’ I have is of when Anna, Amma (your Dadu, Dida) bought a blue colour tricycle (for some reason we used to call it a cycle) for Mon (your Mashi). 

These are the only pictures I can find of the brand. Your Mashi’s cycle was similar except it was blue. How I wished I had one of my own! I rode it every chance I could get and she would (obviously) complain about how I was riding a cycle that belonged to her. In my defence, I didn’t have a cycle at all! 

I’ll tell you what the rite of passage was for me - riding an actual cycle. Learning how to balance and using the right break. I got a cycle when I was in high school. And I learnt how to ride it too. But that was it. I never really rode it to anywhere especially because your Dida and Dadu were both afraid of the traffic on roads. 

Enough about me and the pre historic era :P 

There’s a baby shop right across from where we live. For you, its a place to visit in the evenings, to take in all the shiny and not-so-shiny toys and trinkets they have and be charmed/entertained by it all. You really like to ride the tricycle when we go there. So we (your Papa and I) decided you were ready to get one of your own.

Papa being the efficient shopper that he is, realized he was getting an awesome deal online and ordered a tricycle. 

Mish, I kid you not, when the box arrived we were shocked. We had to assemble it ourselves - and it didn’t look easy! There were too many parts, big and small, we could not visualize which part went where. Worse, the instruction manual was so poorly written! Papa had spent a considerable amount of time last evening trying to assemble another one of your toys so he was about as enthusiastic as you are to visit a doctor for vaccination. He wasn’t bawling but he was ready to return the whole thing and get a readymade trike. 

However, I prodded him on (you should know I am a great morale booster - mostly for others!) and the both of us worked on it. As we worked, something magical started to happen. The complex drawings started to make sense. We kept encouraging each other and figuring out different parts of the puzzle. We kept our cool, laughed out loud when something looked crazily impossible to put together and furrowed our brows to read minuscule part names. We built your tricycle step by step, moving to something slightly simpler when we felt overwhelmed with what we couldn’t figure out. 

I had to take a break because you were sleepy but your Papa kept at it. And he figured out and connected a couple of the toughest pieces. When I joined him a little later, ‘it’ was starting to look like a proper tricycle - with a seat, a basket and the decorative pieces and less like a mechanical engineering test. We spent another hour on it and viola - we had an operational tricycle ready!

And this is you and us, this morning with the trike. A trike we’ll remember for a long time! We built it with our bare hands, a crappy instruction manual, immense patience and lots of love for you. 

Your Papa and I make a good team. :)

[mishtieandi]

Learning how to speak - Part I

Mish baby, I’ve been having conversations with you since I could feel you move inside me. Of course, then, I used to converse quietly and sometimes with my hands, trying to feel you, trying to imagine your elbows and knees and feet - all little jabbers! Even after you were born, I used to tell you stories when all you could do was hear, not understand. Maybe you felt reassured, maybe you wanted me to shut up. Let’s go with reassured! :)

And now, you talk. Your most used word of course is Mumma. And I LOVE that. I am not bored, I am not impatient even when you chant it all day long. When you say Mumma to call me, to draw my attention, to feel at ease or just because. I unabashedly will admit, it makes me happy and proud to be your special person - so special you call my name just because! 

I last attempted to count the number of words in your vocabulary when I read on Baby Center that it was supposed to be in the 15 - 20 range. You had surpassed it in any case and I (mercifully!) didn’t bother to really count after that.

You’re a smart baby, I’ll tell you that! You can identify and name colors. And its been this way for many months now. Purple (puh-pul) and blue (boo) came first, then came green (geen) and now you’ve added pink (pink), brown (bown) and red (deed) to your repertoire. You can say one, two and three and you understand the concept of first and second. You also understand the concept behind one, two and many. 

You say good night (dunta) and even before saying the word, you’d understood that good night was a way to say bye. So you waved and said bye instead. That, to me, is super smart of you - to make the deduction even if you cannot say the word. You similarly have deduced that ‘on’ and ‘off’ are similar to ‘open’ and ‘close’ and ‘start’ and ‘stop’. 

You know words in 3 languages and can understand everything - well almost everything that is spoken in 2 (Hindi, Kannada).....and I suspect even the 3rd (English).

I wanted to make a list of all your cute pronunciations but it looks like I’ll need another post for that. 

For now, Dunta my baby, sleep well! Muah!

(Pic: Fort Aguada, Goa, July 12th 2015)

[mishtieandi]

Your first dream

Mish, I was home with you today (we just got back from Goa and I brought along a bad case of food poisoning with me). After lunch, I lay next to you and you slept your precious toddlerhood noon nap. After about 2 hours of napping, in which I read a wonderful book about a tenuous yet remarkable mother daughter relationship (contrasted sensitively with a tender and near-perfect father daughter relationship), you woke up from a dream you dreamed. And you said, “Bhiyya, bhaiyya.” I woke you up from sleep completely and told you there was no bhaiyya, only mumma. And you calmed down. When you were calm enough, I asked you about that dream and you seemed to remember that it had to do with a Bhaiyya. Whether it was the watchman or the cook, you could not tell. 

This is officially the first dream you and I spoke about. There will be many more. And those will largely be pleasant, I hope. 

And then there will be dreams you dream with your eyes open. These will be the ones that will guide you on the path you take. I pray you have the courage and the strength to choose the path that is worth your while, that you have the conviction to stick to it as long as you believe its the best for you. That you listen to everyone but have the strength and grace to do what is right for you, even if it means losing friends and being lonely in the short term. For if you are on the right path, you will find the right people. People who are right for you, that is. Friends and lovers. Even worthy foes! Remember I will always be with you - physically as well as in spirit. Wishing you well and cheering you on. Your biggest fan. :)

Lots of love, God bless you my bachcha! 

[mishtieandi]

Irrational summer heat

It has been more than a year since I started this account of you and me, Mish and I am sorry I have not been more conscientious with it. That changes, now. You are 19 months old today. I am amazed and happy and wistful all at once, at how quickly you are growing up! You understand everything we say now, in Kannada and Hindi and sometimes, I suspect even English! 

Today is a particularly hot day, Bangalore was never this hot and I hope to God that as we become more conscious about the pollution we’re creating, we do things to counteract that and the city starts to return to its original ‘chilled out’ levels by the time you grow up. On the other hand, experience suggests we might do the opposite and you might hate how hot Bangalore becomes and decide you do not want to live here at all. Only time will tell.

You were sort of cranky this morning and I suspected you wanted to cool off a bit. So just before I left for work, I put you in a tub of lukewarm water and had Poornima (your latest nanny, more on that in another post) sit with you. You were so happy you didn’t seem to mind me going to work and happily said Bye. :)

Your Papa has counted 12 teeth in your mouth. If calculations are right, you’ll sprout 8 more by the time you turn 2. Gosh, you’ll be 2 in 5 months! We are hoping to go away to Europe for your 2nd birthday this year. I’d love for you to meet Rahul chaachu, your dad’s closest friend in the recent years and his wife, Akshada chaachi and their brand new baby, Aarunya. 

I worry sometimes that I am not doing enough with you and for you. You spend all day with your Appamma (its been more than a month that your Tatha has been mostly out of town) and Poornima aunty and then when I come home, we jauntily walk up and down the road in front of our apartment or inside from one end to the other. I wish there were more lively, kids-safe parks or pools safe enough for kids to swim and splash around in so you could have more fun. 

Next summer you will be old enough to go to a camp. And then school! Imagine that, munchkin!

Its true what most stay-at-home moms (SAHM is the accepted acronym!) say - the days are long and the years are short.

I love you! *Muah*, Mumma.

[mishtieandi]

9 months old!

Mish my baby, on the day you completed 9 months (7th June), your dad and I went out for lunch with you.

We also went to Dida and Dadu's house. Mashi and Mesho were visiting from Mumbai. We were all just so happy we were together!

You're blessed you are loved by family and extended family. I hope you're showered with this kind of love and warmth all through your life! Muah! :)

Lunch @Prost, Koramangala

With Dida, Dadu, Mashi and Mesho

And a family selfie! No matter what we did, you wouldn't look at the phone :-| :)

[mishtieandi]

Goodbye to nanny number 1

Sudha deserves a mention simply because she was your first nanny and for the time she worked with us, she was good to you. Sudha aunty to you, she was portly, short, with a wide grin and a mop of curly hair. You rejected her for almost a week before accepting her enough to allow her to put you to bed and take you for walks and feed you, even. She taught me how to insert a suppository - what can I say, I am a first time mommy and when you had constipation for the first time, I was clueless.

Anyway, she came into your life and ours when you were nearly 5 months old (Feb 21st to be precise) and I wished she would stay till you were 2 years old at the very least. Your dad, more optimistic than me, wished she stayed till you were 5. Sudha had other plans and just did not show up to work on the first working day (Monday at that) of June. A couple of days later she said she had family problems and could not continue any more. 

I'll be honest I was a tad stung because I thought she'd be more professional about letting me know she planned to leave. But I've learnt my lesson with her and am applying my learning with your current nanny (number 3, the 2nd one worked for a total of 4 hours in 2 days). 

Here's Sudha with you!

At 6.5 months old

Also at 6.5 months old

At 8 months old!

[mishtieandi]

9th month running... fast!

Mish baby,

You are 5 days short of turning 9 months old. So young still and yet I marvel at how quickly you've grown! From being a tiny bundle, all of 3 kilos (and much smaller, lighter in the days following your birth) with a soft, barely audible cry to a healthy, feisty, bigger, hyper active baby with a robust voice to boot, you've had quite a journey. Or perhaps, I have had quite a journey. :)

Today is momentous because you looked at me, full of love and knowing and said Mumumumumuma like you meant to call me. Like you were initiating an actual conversation with me. Precious, precious moment! 

You're doing so many new things now, you know! If only you could see yourself the way we all do. Especially the way I do! I am full of wonder. Without using any spoken word, just with sounds and gestures, you tell us what you want - food, water, a stroll, sleep, Mommy milk or just Mommy time. You express affection by touching my face, Papa's face, Appamma's face and Dida's face. With me, you rub heads and face and try to lick my cheeks - adorable little munchkin of mine. Muah! 

You're attempting to crawl and Papa and I can see your frustration as you move backwards instead of forward. You'll have to persevere though, your brain and body are still trying to work together to figure out how this is done. 

It feels like you're gonna sprout a tooth soon but we'll all have to wait for that too. Meanwhile you continue to bear all the discomfort that must be causing you :( You were biting me quite a bit while feeding on me but luckily that phase passed! Don't know when it'll come back! *Sigh*

You are soon going to complete 9 months outside of my womb. That's huge you know! I wish I could hold on to some moments tightly and just savour them a teeny bit more. But that's not how life works :) So I browse through your photos and videos and keep wishing I had recorded more videos! 

And this is how you look today:

Love you, always! 

Mumma