Of impromptu vacations and bonding with extended family
February was a special month, Mish. You and I went on a trip to Varanasi - just you and me, a first for us. And the first of many I hope! A colleague of mine was getting married, you and I both had a Friday off for Mahashivaratri making it a long weekend, your Papa was supposed to be in Guatemala but by the time he realized he was not traveling the tickets to Varanasi were expensive and he felt like doing a solo trip to Bangkok instead. Phew! In short, the stars were aligned for it to be the first Mumma and bubbah trip. :)
Before I delve into how this 5 day trip was, you need to understand what Varanasi means to me. It is home. That your Dida is from the city and your Mashi and I spent at least 5 summers if not more (and other holidays), definitely have a lot to do with why I am attached. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve also developed my own personal relationship with the city. Though built on top of my attachment, this particular relationship has its own character too. I don’t need an excuse to visit.
Not all my memories are rosy. My Dida, unlike yours, was quite a stickler for rules. And a perfectionist. The adversities she underwent early in life and the overwhelming tenacity she showed in the face of those adversities made her strong. Sometimes unyieldingly so. I’ve faced her wrath and not known how to deal with it. I’ve had my share of fights and disagreements with your Ashumama, some more bitter than others. Some have had an air of futility. I’ve had heart-wrenching confrontations with your Bukun Dida and come away....growing up.
So I expect nothing from my trips. I do not expect the worst like some in our family do. I choose to be more hopeful. And you have to know this - hope is not the same as expectation.
We started on Wednesday morning. I wish I could say the journey was uneventful but you had a nose bleed, a scary one on the flight. Scary for you and the co-passengers, I’ve learnt to keep my cool through these episodes. You had 2 more nose bleeds - once when we were settling in after reaching home and another in the wee hours of the night. Or morning, depending on how you feel about 3 AM. On our return, it was my turn. I ate something for breakfast that disagreed with me. And how! I had tummy cramps that made me break into a sweat. I popped 3 antacids and homeopathy medication to keep the pain at bay. It was some good karma that I didn’t vomit or have loose motions, I wouldn’t have known how to manage with just you. To add to our woes, our return flight was not direct so we were traveling from 12.45 noon till 9.30 PM which is when we finally reached home. I made a note to self then, to never try and save a few thousand rupees when there’s an option to take a direct flight! Anyway, these journeys are always supposed to make you learn :)
You settled in quickly. You’ve always adjusted to family, on your Papa’s side and mine, with remarkable speed. Its as if you know when you meet someone new, instinctively, who is family and who isn’t.
It was heart-warming to see you and Madhav play together, eat together, hold hands and run around the house together, watch YouTube/rhymes on app together. It was also nice to see you two have your disagreements, Madhav wanting some space as the older brother and you not really liking that someone was telling you not to disturb them. :D
We went to the Shivaratri mela in the road (really the galli) next to our house.
We also went to Madhav’s music school. You were quite entranced.... before you started to get restless that is. And Madhav is a gifted child. He was a complete delight to watch/listen to. We also went to my favorite set of temples and spent time at Assi ghat with your Bukun Dida.
However, it is in the moments when we were not doing any of these things that the real endearing memories were made.
Of Madhav and you carelessly playing in the breezy veranda with the steam boat that I’ve only ever seen in Varanasi - getting cold and wet in the process and having to change clothes and being scolded by every adult in the house.
Of getting massaged in the sun-drenched foyer while all of us sipped on chai, taking breaks to catch the wind in your little, colorful, paper windmills.
Of then taking bath together in your undies :D Of wanting to listen to a story while sleeping next to each other under a cosy blanket (razai).
Of Madhav lifting you and carrying you a few steps claiming to be strong. Like Shaktiman.
Of balloon fights where you took turns to win. And celebrated losing when you had won because you didn’t know one from the other.
Of eating competitions. Of innocence. Pure and warm. A welcome offset to the cold winds of change.
I could spend all my time with you because it was just you and me. I cherished every moment. I realized how rushed and distracted our lives in big cities is. And simple things like watching flowers on the terrace and spreading clothes on clotheslines, strategizing on clipping them tight and right...... and sleeping when the body wanted to rest - they do so much to calm the mind and nourish the soul.
For me, in this trip, the past collided beautifully, often colourfully, with the present and gave me a glimpse of the future. There was nostalgia mixed with hope. Of continuing the family bond despite the distances, the changes, the differences - in language, city, sometimes even worldviews.
I guess if you travel expecting nothing, you’re always happily surprised.